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salabiem · 2 years

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Happy tummy Tuesday fellas!

#tummytuesday #bearsncubsofcolor #blackbeardgang #blackbear #volkswagen #alaska gay #alaska #mountain man

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hasretim38-blog · 1 month

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Merhaba ben Kayseri den travesti hasret sevda. Görüşmeleri mi kendime ait evimde yapıyorum. Ne aradıgını biliyorsan ve ciddiysen eğer görüşelim müsaitim şuan. 0541 691 29 19. (BAYAN DEGİLİM).0541 691 29 19

#keşfet #kayseritravesti #kayserimerkez #kayseri #kayseri gay arayış #volkswagen #makeup

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zorcskhakis · 2 years

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For @melffy-puppy :D

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.

Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car

This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.

Interesting facts: This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."

Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.

#yugioh #yami yugi #atem #i fucking DIED making this #usually i correct the mispronunciations but i left a few in bc they're fucking funny #yami really went on an emotional journey here #greatest hits

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elliesmainhoe · 1 year

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Hi! Can I request a singer reader x ellie? Like the reader sometimes would sing her to sleep or she’ll just be humming a tune on a record ellie is playing :) I just feel like that’d be so cute and domestic <3 Thank you!! - 💒

Ellie Williams Headcanons: Singer!reader

Can be read as a part 2 of this, or on its own.

Ellie absolutely adores how much you sing.

She'll hear you before she sees you.

Loves hearing you sing in the shower.

She lies in bed- and just listens to the sound of the showers rushing water and you singing/humming your favourite song <33

She is not a passenger princess she's a passenger survivor ✊

Your driving scares the absolute shit out of her- in every other circumstance she loves when you get consumed into your music- singing in your own little world.

But absolutely not while your driving lmao.

After about five minutes of sitting in the passenger seat of your blue Volkswagen beetle- Ellie suddenly remembered the reason why she never let you drive.

Said reason was that while you drive, the urge to belt out a note from Rihanna's 'umbrella' just became too strong- leading you to put more effort into whatever song hit the radio than the actual road Infront of you.

A sharp turn caused Ellie to jolt to the left, her hand grabbing the overhead handle as a reflex.

"Jesus fucking Christ Y/N. Eyes on the road!"

"Oops sorry Ells."

Ellie has an absolute killer record collection.

She has classic 70s presses and new releases from popular artists.

You know every single album she knows. Every single song, every single line and the meaning behind it.

Girlies gobsmacked.

Music plays through the record players speakers as the record spins. She hears your hums before she sees you.

"Chiquita by ABBA from the album 'Voulez-Vous' released 1979"

"What the fuck are you? Alexa."

You shrug "I just like ABBA."

🚨!!!KARAOKE DATE NIGHT. I REPEAT KARAOKE DATE NIGHT!!!🚨

Ellie is a terrible singer and proud! You think it's so cute.

You make her sing with you all the time

Doing duo ver on a karaoke machine.

Omg and Just Dance.

You make eachother Spotify playlists for different occasions.

Ellie playing guitar and you singing along to it.

You and Ellie both sat on the grassy bank overlooking the lake. A blue chequered blanket laid down on the grass and a little bag of cut up fruit and snacks.

Ellie was sat cross-legged, the old guitar sat on her lap, her left hand around the neck of it, fingers aligning into different chords as her right hand strummed. A beautiful smile painted her features at the sound of your soft melodic voice singing along to the tune of the instrument.

"God you are so beautiful baby."

-----------

Taglist:@aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @prettypeoniesx @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @moonlighting87 @escaping-reality8 @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @ellieluhme @kiiyoooo @delusionalvioleht @joelscharm

Join my taglist here

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thelezzer · 2 years

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homestuck kid car headcanons

this is random but i am bored

jade: green 1995 ford bronco. good for offroading, spacious cabin, tan leather interior, manual transmission.

rose: black 2015 toyota prius. hybrid, quiet, moderate size. also kind of a gay little car.

dave: red 1986 porsche 944. inexpensive but he still gets to say he drives a porsche, good for street racing (he does not street race but he implies that he does). his specific car has issues but he plays off the weird noises like they're supposed to be there.

john: blue 2010 honda accord. the normalest possible car for the normalest dude.

jake: silver 2003 jeep wrangler rubicon with a soft top. good for offroading, open to the fresh air, sturdy.

roxy: yellow 2009 volkswagen beetle convertible. cute, small, can open up on a sunny day to stick your hands up and go "wooooo!"

dirk: custom orange 1990 miata. reliable, easy to work on/tinker with, has a strong community around it (and since this one is older, it carries prestige), can be modified in many ways.

jane: red 2022 tesla crockercorp model x. crockercorp would be the in-universe equivalent of tesla, change my mind. as an heiress, jane can get the newest, nicest, most technologically advanced car. it was a gift and she doesn't really know much about cars, but it drives itself and has all kinds of gizmos.

#homestuck #jade harley #rose lalonde #dave strider #john egbert #jake english #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #jane crocker

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objectumluv · 10 months

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CarJectum, Vinatage CarJectum

CarJectum -> when one has an objectum attraction towards cars!

Vintage CarJectum -> when one has an objectum attraction specifically towards old/vintage car models!

VWBugjectum, Vintage BeetleJectum

VWBugjectum -> when one has an objectum attraction specifically towards Volkswagen Beetles.

Vintage BeetleJectum -> when one has an objectum specifically towards vintage/older Volkswagen Beetle models.

if these were coined before please let me know!

dni...

proship, endos/nontraumagenics, anti-mspec lesbian/gays, anti-objectum, pedo/map, anti-agere/petre, anti-witchcraft/paganism and your basic dni stuff.

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the-dance-of-italy · 3 months

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Ok you all asked for it:

(Well one person did so far)

For all porpouses, im naming mine The Last Testament or TLT, and it's something if a reincarnation AU.

anyway, here's the ideas/HCs or whatever:

Jésus 🇵🇸 🇲🇽:[Still woking on Him]

-One of his parents is a refugee from Palestine into Mexico (Im respecting that fact abt him on account of the aprox. 13,000 refugees living in Mexico) (Haven't decided who tho, probably Miriam)

-Lives in Mexico City...kinda. Isn't really from there. (will elaborate later).

-Has a Pitbull he rescued named Angel

-Likes cumbias, bolero and regional. Is neutral abt banda. Hates corridos. (Music genres)

-Trans FTM and AceAro.

-Works at his parents artisan shop making traditional crafts based on both cultures.

-Went to college for psychology, then dropped out almost two semesters before graduating.

-Autistic and has ADHD. -Artisan / Gaphic Designer. Went to college for political studies and psychology, but dopped out. -Does Gaffiti with Tadeo and Juan often. -Meeting the guy who's supposd to be the antichrist is like a doppelganger sitation for him. -Meets his heavenly parent during a weed trip.

Tadeo (Thaddeus) 🇲🇽: [Woking on him]

-Also lives in Mexico City.

-Has worked both as a taxi driver and as a microbus driver.

-Is a Chivas fan (football soccer team).

-Obv believes quesadillas don't have to contain cheese in them. [Wrong, but he's from the capital so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯].

- Definitely has gotten into heated arguments with Jesús abt it.

- Loves cumbias and rap. Doesn't like banda too much. Hates corridos of all types.

- Definitely a cholo. -Owns a volkswagen beetle. -Has a torta and taco food stand.

Simon P 🇰🇷🇬🇷 (lives in 🇺🇸):

-Works as a butcher or has a fish shop (haven't decided)

-Didn't go to college because he had a child at 19 (almost after highschool graduation. He did love his wife very much despite marrying so young and both still inmature then.

-Becomes a widower after she dies in a fire.

-They had 3 kids that he is left alone to raise.

-Currently 28 y/o and third eldest of the group.

-Very conservative until his eldest child tried to come out to him as trans. Didn't go well at first, with him believing someone put ideas in their head.

-Meets Jesús in a forum online asking fo help about his kid. J' is the one who knocks some sense into him.

Andrew 🇬🇷🇰🇷 (Lives in 🇺🇸):[Still woking on Him]

-23 y/o studying to become an obstetrician, since their mother died giving birth to him, due to a doctor's malpractice.

-Learned about reproductive rights after meeting Juan and Jesús in a forum.

-Closeted gay because of Simon.

Felipe (Philip) 🇪🇸:[Woking on him]

-Runs a bakery with his family in Barcelona. -Besties with Nathaniel

Nathaniel Bartholomew 🇵🇭:[Woking on him]

-Neurologist -Meets Felipe in Spain after going to study abroad there

Thomas 🇮🇳 (Lives in 🇺🇸) : [Woking on him]

- Architect. -Is studying abroad in LA -Has a drug addiction problem - Meeting Jay makes it slightly worse. -His best friend is Lil' James.

Mateo (Matthew) 🇨🇱 (Lives in 🇺🇸): [Woking on him]

-Autistic

-Used to work in border patrol.

'Zi' (Simon Zee) 🇧🇷: [Woking on him]

- They all call him that on account of his name being Simon and the zi in Brazil. -Has Vitiligo

Mary (Magdalene) 🇦🇫🇺🇲: [working on her]

- Drag queen or Trans Woman (Haven't decided, fuck it, why not both)

- Parents disowned her after coming out and kicked her out at 16 y/o.

-Became friends with Jay after meeting him at a shelter. Worked odd jobs with him until they could afford an apartment together.

-Works in the same bar as him.

Jay (Judas)🇪🇬🇺🇸: [Woking on him]

-Went to college for political studies, dropped one semester before graduation and switched to psychology. Dropped two semesters in and switched to Art.

-Has a black cat named Baphy. (Yep, edgy motherfucker.)

-Works at a local gay bar near his neighborhood.

-His parents disowned him after he came out as Gay. Later he discovered he's Pansexual.

-Used to be a sex worker. Sometimes still does it even though he doesn't need to anymore.

- Listens to 80's and 90's music the most. Likes MJ, Bowie, Twisted Sister, Queen, ABBA and Elton John... -Doesn't know what to do with his life -Puts others peoples needs before his own. Cant say no to others. -Great at math, good at administrating money. Actually ends up buying the bar he worked at (with illicit money).

L. James 🇺🇸: [Woking on him]

-Is a Oncologist.

Sean (John) 🇮🇪 : [Woking on him] -Immature -Doesn't know what to do with his life. -younger brother. -Does mostly wheatpaste and sticker art

B. James🇮🇪: [Woking on him] -Punk -Friends call him Jay. Closest friends call him shaggy. -Always starting ending fights with the police -Has moderate alcoholism. -Does gaffiti and wheatpaste.

Juan (John TB) 🇵🇷 🇲🇽: [Still woking on him]

-Obv. Jesús' cousin.

- Left home to backpack travel around Latin America [refuses to go to Europe or the United States, but would love to visit Asia and Africa. Terrified of Australia.]

-Has dreadlocks and they're incredibly well taken care of despite traveling without much rest.

-Meets Andrew and Felipe during a spring break vacation in Colombia. (Already knew Andrew through the forum but didn't know it was him until they met there).

-Vegan probably. -Get's kidnapped by a cartel after messing someone's bussiness. He get's brutaly murdered afterwards by them to get rid of him. Eleazar (Lazarus) 🇺🇸/?? : ryu -Has and incurable illness. -Is always hospitalized, if he's dispached for a while, he's in a wheelchair.

#my writings #i guess #bible fandom #jesus fandom #man idk I'll update as i go...

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stobinesque · 9 months

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phryctoria | chapter 6: four by one (delta)

Sometimes your gay awakening is just having someone to show you it’s possible. Steve realizes there's a whole gay world out there, waiting for them.

Now Complete!

[1][2][3][4][5] | [Read on AO3]

"Robbie, honey, is that you?" Mrs. Buckley calls out as the front door swings shut behind them.

"Yeah, mom!" Robin shouts back as she toes off her shoes.

"Is Steve with you?" Robin claims her mother has some sort of sixth sense for Steve's presence in the house. Steve thinks it’s just a safe bet to assume he’s there, seeing as that's the case more often than not.

"I am!" Steve affirms, as Robin grabs his hand to drag him up to her room. The staircase has a direct line of sight to the living room, where Robin's parents are curled together on their squashy couch, watching something Steve can't make out on the tiny television set.

"There are leftovers in the fridge." Mr. Buckley says as they pass by.

"Thank you, sir." Robin tugs at Steve’s wrist impatiently. "Uh…we’ll grab some later," he says, tripping up the stairs after Robin.

"Ugh, you're such a suck-up!" she declares as she flops back onto her bed.

"I have to stay on their good side! They’re both half-convinced I'm one step away from stealing your virginity."

"Eugh, please don't say that." Robin pulls open her bag and starts dumping the contents onto her mattress. "Besides, they wouldn't have any room to talk. I was conceived in the back of my dad’s Volkswagen."

Steve hops up onto the bed, stretching his legs out in front of him. He picks up his pamphlet from the books and 'zines strewn across Robin's bed, and rolls it up to point at her. "Now, how—and why, exactly—do you know that?"

"Remember what I said about my parents and boundaries?"

“Okay, sure, that tracks.” Steve flips open the booklet with a little flourish. “So, wanna learn about how to fuck without dying?”

Robin arches a brow at him. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“No? What would I—?”

Steve flinches as something hits his chest and he looks down to see the reading glasses he’d bought earlier. “Really?”

“Yes, really! Put them on!”

Steve rolls his eyes, but puts them on. “Happy?”

“I am,” she sniffs with haughty self-satisfaction.

Steve pulls a face and mouths a mocking “I am!” as he picks the pamphlet back up and flicks it open. He skims his way down the table of contents—there’s a foreword, a preface, and an introduction for some reason—and his eyebrows start creeping up his forehead as he goes. Sucking, Fucking, Sadism & Masochism (S&M), Fist Fucking…mixed in with things Steve doesn’t even recognize (what the hell do “water sports” have to do with sex?)

It's all a little daunting—like he should have started with a basic field guide to Sex With Men before jumping into figuring out how to do it safely.

But he’s here now, so he takes a deep breath, flips to the next page, and begins.

Barely three paragraphs in and he's right back to feeling in over his head. Is he supposed to have opinions on the causes of AIDS? He can count the number of times he’s heard or read about it in a context that wasn’t riddled with disgust and condemnation. All he really knows is that a diagnosis is as good as a death sentence.

He shakes his head, frustrated. "Hey, do you have a highlighter or something?"

Robin doesn’t say anything, but when Steve looks up to ask her again, something smacks him on the head—Robin having chosen to answer by way of lobbing a highlighter directly at his face. He's grudgingly impressed by her aim.

"Stop throwing things at me!"

Robin ignores him. "Careful, Stevie, you might turn into a nerd if you're not careful."

"...shut up." He uncaps the marker with a bitchy flourish to highlight the sentence “Sex doesn't make you sick—diseases do. Gay sex doesn't make you sick—gay men who are sick do.” It settles something in him that's been strung tight since Monday. Even if some part of him knew that he wasn't sick just by existing, he couldn't shake the memory of kids asking anyone they thought might be gay if they knew what it stood for, before shouting “Got AIDS Yet?” down the hall after them.

Steve grimaces at the memory, and carries on reading until he’s reached the end of the introduction, highlighting a sentence at the end there

Our challenge is to figure out how we can have gay, life-affirming sex, satisfy our emotional needs, and stay alive!

He's never really thought of sex as anything more than a kind of fraught balancing act between performance and pleasure—let alone “life-affirming.”

Except...that is kind of what it was between him and Nancy right? It's why they'd drifted back together after everything. They'd both only had each other—well, Nancy had Jonathan, too, kind of. But Steve had lost his two closest friends, and even if he hadn't, it’s not like he could have shared anything that'd happened to him without putting them in harm’s way.

(There had been a few times early on when Steve had considered reaching out to Tommy or Carol. But even without the worry that he might revert back to a version of himself that he was all too eager to leave in the rearview, he also didn't know what the point of trying to maintain a relationship with them was, when his entire understanding of the world had turned on its head.)

So Nancy and Steve had become NancyandSteve—not so much in deed as in perception. After Barb, after…everything…they'd both been hesitant to have sex again for a while. Steve didn't want to push Nancy into doing anything that would make her uncomfortable (and if Steve benefited from not having to perform quite so much, all the better). And Nancy always seemed like it was something she felt guilty for even wanting.

And then one night Steve had just kind of snapped and asked her outright “Do you want to have sex?”

It was like a dam bursting. As if all Nancy had needed was for someone to ask her what she actually wanted, instead of thinking herself in circles around what she should want.

"Penny for your thoughts, Fen?"

Steve doesn’t look up from where his eyes have lost on the words swimming in front of him. "Just…thinking about Nancy."

"Oh?" Robin’s voice is cautiously curious.

"Yeah, just like. I don't know. We didn't have sex all that often when we were together, but when we did, it was like…" Steve trails off, struggling to find the words.

"Like what?”

"Like…I don't know. Like us?” He says, finally looking up at Robin and gesturing between the two of them. “Like when we sleep together?”

Robin doesn't wrinkle her nose like he expects her to. Instead she tilts her head and gives him a considering look. "Like…comforting?"

Steve snaps his fingers and points at her. "Yeah! And it was fun, too, I guess. But it was mostly just…it was the one time where I felt like I could actually give her what she needed, you know?”

Robin shakes her head with a little frown. "I don't. That sounds…really sad, actually."

Steve huffs and drags a hand through his hair. "I'm not explaining this right."

"No, I think you are!" Robin reaches out to take one of his hands into hers. "Look, you don't really talk about Nancy, and I'm not asking you to do it now anymore than you already have or want to. But, the silence kind of speaks for itself, you know? I don't know what happened with the two of you, but I…I don't know, I'd see you together, sometimes, after Barb, and you both always seemed so sad. But you never really seemed like you were sad together, you know? You didn't even look like you were causing each other's sadness, you just…you looked like you were on these parallel tracks of grief. So…so maybe, when you were having sex it was like the one time where you both actually were on the same track? And that's…"

"Fucked up, because I'm gay, and her best friend died while she was losing her virginity? To me? A gay man?"

"Well, I wasn't gonna put it like that."

"Sure."

Silence falls between them, and Steve stares at the Ripley poster hanging on Robin’s wall. Thinking about Nancy has left him unsettled in a way he wouldn’t have expected it to. Not that realizing he’s gay should suddenly erase all of the heartbreak he’d felt at the end of things. But he thought he’d moved on. Come to terms with everything. But now, recontextualizing their relationship, and realizing how much it had really just been a means of survival than anything else for both of them…it leaves him feeling a little sick.

Robin cuts into his thoughts. "Okay, enough wallowing about shitty exes—"

"Nancy wasn't—”

"Shhhh,” Robin says, waving a hand in his face to get him to stop talking. “Let me be dramatically overprotective of you about this."

"Fine,” he says, even though something about it doesn’t sit right with him.

"Back to my point: stop wallowing, and get back to reading about how you can have hot gay sex safely, so I can live vicariously through you!"

Some of the tension bleeds out of him. "Okay, first of all, I don't think you want to be having the same kind of hot gay sex as me, and second of all, you’re coming with me! You can find a hot girl to bang!"

"I thought we’d already established that I don't want to have sex for the first time with a stranger!"

"Oh.” Steve falls back. Even having just talked about it earlier that evening he’d kind of…forgotten that other people might prefer to know the person they lose their virginity to. He hadn’t really had a choice. “Right."

"I think I'd be okay with kissing a girl that I don't know yet. But, like, how do you even tell if someone's interested in you?” She tangles her fingers in her hair and starts tugging at the roots. “And how do you flirt?"

"Okay, okay, one thing at a time.” Steve reaches forward to pull her hands from her hair, holding them to his chest. “You don't have to rush anything, you know—”

"Steve! It's not rushing things if I've…if I've known this about myself for years and I'm still just a clueless virgin!"

"Okay, well, I don't think me not being a virgin means I have any more of a clue about things than you do. It's just…” Steve gestures in the space between them. "It's just bodies! And, like, hearts and guts and brains, or whatever—but that's still just bodies! And if we're going to a gay club you'll have to exert a lot less effort into trying to figure out if someone likes you. You can just ask!”

"'You can just ask' he says.” Robin scoffs. “Have you ever 'just asked' a girl if she likes you?"

"Well, no, but that's because they're supposed to act like they don't."

"What?" Robin yanks her hands out of Steve’s grip with a violent jerk backwards.

"Yeah! Girls are supposed to act like they're all bashful or whatever about a guy liking them. So you have to come at it sideways, give them a little opening to sneak through." He holds his hands a couple inches apart and makes a little snaking motion in demonstration.

Robin gapes at him. "Straight people are fucking weird."

"Yeah, it's exhausting." There was something of a thrill to a successful seduction, though. It was a game Steve had been good at playing, once upon a time. It had just lost its appeal somewhere along the way. Maybe in a new context he'd find a way to make it fun again. "But there aren't any guys in the equation for you, so you don't have to do any of that."

"Okay, yeah, but what if everyone does still act like that, but because there's no men to do the asking everyone is just like! Awkwardly hovering around each other!”

"I literally just told you to do the asking."

"Yeah, well, what if your advice is bad! I've seen you try to flirt, Steve!"

"Yeah, you've seen me try to flirt with girls who I am not attracted to,” he argues back, gesticulating wildly. He slumps back and bites his lip, considering. "Okay, how about this,” he starts, leaning forward again. “I bet you that if you ask, you can get a girl to kiss you."

Robin narrows her eyes, "What's the winner get?”

Steve thinks for a second. "Full control of the stereo on the ride back."

"Deal." Robin spits into her palm and extends it to him. "Shake on it, Harrington."

Steve grimaces, but spits into his own palm, before grasping her hand in his. "Deal"

Steve returns to reading, but a few minutes later tosses it aside again with a frustrated huff, pressing the tips of his fingers into his eyes, as though that will chase away the budding headache.

“…you good over there?”

Steve drops his hands and blinks rapidly. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Robin snorts. “Liar. What’s up? Why do you look like you just got your head shoved in a toilet?”

“Nothing, I just—it’s dumb.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And—I don’t want to bore you with stupid questions.”

“I’m pretty sure the no-stupid-questions rule is still in effect.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t a gay question or whatever—I just don’t know how to fucking read.”

Robin frowns, leaning forward to look at him more closely. “Okaaaaay, but clearly you do—you’ve been highlighting up a storm over there.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I understand anything!” Steve snaps his mouth shut and looks away. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

Robin plays with her hands, expression nervous. “Why does it matter if you don’t understand it?”

“What’s the point in reading any of this if I don’t know what it means?”

“No, no, I get that, I just mean—why are you acting like not understanding something will matter to me?”

Steve shrugs. “I mean, it has before.”

Robin stares at him, mouth agape. “What are you—are you talking about what I said about Click’s class?”

Steve doesn’t say anything.

“Okay, well, if it is, then you are an idiot, if you think literally any of 15-year-old me’s thoughts about you still apply now.” Robin shakes her head sadly. “Steve, you could ask me what color the fucking sky is—and I’d probably lie first, just to fuck with you a bit—but I definitely wouldn’t judge you for asking. I literally don’t care whether you’re a genius, or-or if you don’t know what two plus two is! The stupid little thoughts of a jealous teenager are entirely irrelevant to what we have here,” she says, gesturing between the two of them.

Steve is quiet, assessing her for even a bare hint of insincerity. There’s none to be found. Maybe he can hazard a chance at trusting someone again. As though he hasn’t been doing that this whole time. He sighs and hands the pamphlet over. “It’s not even that I don’t know what it’s saying, I just…every time I get to the end of the page it’s like everything I’ve just read falls out of my head.”

“Okay, well, maybe between the two of us we can get it to stick.” Robin holds her hand out and makes a grabby motion until Steve drops the highlighter into it. She skims through the whole section, humming occasionally as she underscores something.

A couple minutes later she looks back at him with a smile. “Okay, well, first off: this was also kind of dense for me. There’s, like, a lot of information here and it’s all presented very argumentatively and kind of assumes the person reading it knows more about the debatable causes of AIDS than I think either of us do. But basically it’s arguing that instead of AIDS being caused by one virus, it’s instead caused by a build-up of CMV, which is a totally different virus.”

Steve nods along. He does follow that. The foreword, preface, and introduction had all alluded to it, but once the authors got further into the details they’d started to lose him.

“Second of all, I don’t know if it really matters. I mean, obviously it matters that, like, scientists and doctors and whoever know the exact cause. But from what I can tell, it seems like regardless of the exact cause, we still have a reasonably good understanding of how it spreads—namely, sperm and blood. So I think as long as you understand everything else in here about how to prevent spreading or catching things, you’re probably good not to understand all of the science behind it.”

Steve nods and takes the pamphlet back from her. “Okay,” he says. “Uh, thanks.”

Robin nods. “Anytime, Steph.”

Steve blushes and smiles at her.

Reading the rest of the pamphlet gets much easier from there. He skims over the sections specifically covering CMV, figuring that he can return to them later if needed, but that they probably aren’t strictly relevant to him just yet.

About halfway through reading, he realizes that despite the heavy subject matter, he’s actually kind of enjoying reading it, in a way that’s unfamiliar to him. He’s always enjoyed having sex, but he’d never considered that he might also like learning about it. It’s a similar sort of satisfaction that he found in learning first aid for his lifeguard certification. But most of that was a hands-on kind of learning. Steve can’t remember a time he’s been anything other than frustrated while reading.

The writers talk about sex with an unrelenting frankness that is completely foreign to him. And they don’t limit themselves to the mere mechanics of the act. They dive into ethics and philosophy, and by the time Steve has made it to the last section, he finds himself highlighting whole paragraphs.

Gay men are socialized as men first; our gay socialization comes later. From the day we are born we are trained as men to compete with other men. The challenge facing gay men in America is to figure out how to love someone you’ve been trained to “destroy”

It knocks Steve off his feet. Like someone has held a mirror up to his life.

He remembers the adrenaline flooding him when he pinned Jonathan to the ground in that alley—and again, when Jonathan took him by the wrist and pulled him to safety hours later.

He remembers the jealousy and fear of losing to a boy he felt the need to prove himself better than.

But what if there had been love there all along? Buried deep beneath the pain and self-loathing.

The goal of gay male liberation must be to find ways in which love becomes possible despite continuing and often overwhelming pressure to compete and adopt adversary relationships with other men.

Steve traces over the lines of those sentences like they’re precious. Robin is the only other gay person he knows, and she knows only fractionally more about this world than he does.

And it is a world. There’s a whole history here. Beyond the scientific analysis of disease and recommendations for safer sex, that is what he’s found here. A community. A lineage. There’s a culture there lying in wait of discovery for the both of them. There are men who have walked the same gauntlet that Steve is just beginning to—and who have emerged on the other side. And maybe they’re all in peril together. But at least it is together.

If you love the person you are fucking with—even for one night—you will not want to make them sick.

Steve doesn’t know what he and Robin will find when they go to Indy. The world is larger and more complex than anything he’s going to find in a 40-page pamphlet.

But who knows, maybe he will find love there.

Maybe affection is our best protection.

Bonus! Chapter 7: Erratum & Appendices

Annotations to the text “How to Have Sex in an Epidemic” by Michael Callen and Richard Berkowitz, intro by Dr. Joseph Sonnabend - Spring 1985

[A/N: full text can be accessed here]

ANNOTATION, pg 9, following the section “WHAT CAUSES AIDS?”

While the multifactorial theory behind AIDS was already unpopular in the medical community at the time of this pamphlet’s initial publication, a greater preponderance of medical and community health experts now agree that the recently discovered virus HTLV III is the virus responsible for the development of AIDS. However, there is still much we do not know about the virus’ transmission. That said: the guidelines for safer sex outlined by Callen and Berkowitz, and supported by Dr. Sonnabend, are still likely to greatly mitigate the risk of transmitting or acquiring the HTLV III virus and, subsequently, AIDS.

While most professionals agree that CMV is not the cause of AIDS, CMV remains a disease that MSM should be careful to minimize their risk of transmitting. The risks and effects of CMV as highlighted by the authors in this pamphlet—excepting its connection to AIDS—remain sound; as do their recommendations for mitigating transmission.

For individuals interested in getting tested for the HTLV III virus, an Alternate Test Site has recently opened opened at the Indiana University Medical Center. This testing site, unlike others in the area, guarantees anonymity and privacy for those who wish to get tested. A positive test for HTLV III does not mean you have AIDS, an AIDS related condition, nor does it mean you will develop AIDS in the future.

For further information about the HTLV III test, call the Indianapolis Gay & Lesbian Switchboard at (317) 543-6200. They have a 24 hour answering service, and make calls back between 7 and 11PM.

ANNOTATION, pg 24, following “KISSING”

While HTLV III has been detected in saliva, there have been no reported cases of AIDS transmitted via kissing, or shared foods or utensils. Community health experts are in near unanimous agreement that kissing bears no risk of transmission of HTLV III/AIDS.

ANNOTATION, p. 20, following “FUCKING”

Studies are inconclusive as to the effectiveness of natural condoms for VD prevention. But as the authors state, natural condoms have a lower risk of breakage to their latex counterparts.

ANNOTATION, p. 21, within the section “GETTING FUCKED”

The importance of lubrication during anal sex cannot be overstated. Lubrication decreases the chances of condoms breaking, and of microtears of the rectal lining.

ANNOTATION, p. 22, following “GETTING FUCKED”

Always be sure to carefully follow the instructions of use for any prophylactic. Condom wrappers should always be opened carefully, with ones hands.

Appendix: STEVE (and Robin's) GUIDE TO SAFELY FUCKING

CLEAR HEAD TO GET HEAD! If you’re planning to fuck, you can’t be drunk!

TALK IT OUT! Always be sure to talk to your partner about limits and safety before getting it on

KEEP IT CLEAN! It’s important to wash up before and after sex to limit the spread of bacteria and germs

WRAP IT UP! If you’re going to fuck someone, or have someone suck you off, make sure you’re wearing a condom

Always open condom wrappers CAREFULLY with your HANDS—ripping wrappers open with your teeth stops being sexy the moment the condom tears

If you’re not going to wear a condom, make sure you don’t come anywhere inside your partner (especially their ass!!!)

KISSING: ✔️✔️✔️

GET CREATIVE There are lots of things to do that pose no risk at all!

GET HANDY: mutual masturbation is a completely safe way for two (or more) to get it on. Throw in some dirty talk to add a little extra HEAT!

IT’S ABOUT LOVE, even if only for a night

***

Authors Note: please keep in mind that everything in this chapter reflects what was known of HIV/AIDS c. 1985! Please do not take safe sex advice from a fanfic!

#steve harrington #robin buckley #stobin #platonic stobin #gay steve harrington #read writes #phryctoria #semiotics 'verse

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dykerecords · 1 month

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im like yeah my dream ride is like a buick electra 225 also im just planning on getting a moped for the summer & then i go to drivers ed and im driving the gay ass Volkswagen up! in fucking. faggy blue

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negative-citadel · 10 months

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top 10 gayest cars

Okay, let's do a count down.

10. Ford Fiesta

Rip in pepperoni (recently pulledfrom production), not a car I like - but 100% gay. He's thirsting over the Ford trucks lmao

9. Subaru Loyale

Subaru Loyale? More like he's LOYAL to his impreza boyfriend

8. Literally any fucking Fiat

JUST LOOK AT THEM.

7. Kia Soul

Gay, just gay.

5. Volkswagen Beetle

Definitely goes to gay pride with their Hyundai boyfriend

6. Hyundai Ascent

Kisses men on the daily

4. Toyota Yaris

Little hatchback - yeah its pretty gay.

3. Subaru Outback

I mean - yeah, stereotypes exist for a reason.

2. Toyota Prius

I feel like I don't have to explain this.

1. Mazda Miata

I mean, come on - they can WINK. They're the TWINKS of cars.

#i have issues

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hasretim38-blog · 7 months

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#kayseritravesti #keşfet #kayserimerkez #kayseri #kayseri gay arayış #volkswagen

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thedurvin · 2 years

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Dream roster for that new Disney Mario Kart knockoff that promises to “span the extents of the Disney universe” which I take to mean they will be drawing from everything they own

That gay alchemist from Pete’s Dragon

The frozen head of Walt Disney

No but really I assume Herbie the Love Bug will be there, kids love magical semi-sapient non-speaking Volkswagens

Movie Morbius might be Sony but comics Morbius is all Marvel-Disney baby

Some evil seductress from one of the ABC soap operas

That sexy girl volcano from that one Pixar short

Dink the Red Playful Fluppy from the 1986 limited series Fluppy Dogs

The Major, host of the WWII propaganda film Victory Through Air Power

The Dullahan’s Death Coach from Darby O’Gill and the Little People

That blackface centaur that got deleted from Fantasia

Galavant

Gidget

The goth lesbian hacker Muppet from Muppets Tonight

The main kid from Wes Anderson’s Rushmore

Dale Gribble

Jar Jar

Oh dang if they own Fox that means they own Searchlight Pictures: I Heart Huckabees, Super Troopers, Thank You For Smoking, Little Miss Sunshine, Juno, Black Swan, the Shape of Water…

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jellodoc · 8 months

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original character ALFIE FUNTIMES created for the comic BE KIND MY NEIGHBOR ! doctored by renée. 18+

hiya, my name is renée ! she / her. i am 26 years old. this is a low activity blog. i'm pretty easygoing and i'm here to infodump about a silly gay doctor. sometimes my memory is bad so apologies if i slip on certain knowledge, i try my best to remember as much lore as i can ! aside of that, i have a stomach disability that may prevent me from being here sometimes.

PLAYLIST (TBA.) 🌈 PINBOARD (+EXTRA) 🌈 NEOCITIES (TBA.)

name: alfredo "alfie" funtimes voiceclaim: weird al aliases: alfred, alfie, al, dr funtimes, big guy, gender: trans male age: 34 orientation: gay birthday: june 1st aesthetics: rainbows, 70s colors, lollipops, smiley faces, stickers, sesame street, looney tunes, volkswagen beetles, jello

positive traits: friendly, zany, caring, goofy, silly, lighthearted, protective, sweet, considerate, compassionate, funny, loving negative traits: selfish motives, oblivious at times, projecting onto others, getting in over his head

abilities: vast medical knowledge, regenerative organs weaknesses: he jello idk

likes: vinyl records, keytars, lollipops, sesame street, aiding others to health, taking care of others, medical studying, desserts, gaudy clothes, making kids happy :) dislikes: stomach issues, lightning / thunder, powerlessness, homophobia, cruelty toward children, certain foods

#— ✧˖* 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 / alfie funtimes .

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ordinarytalk · 8 months

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In honor of me selling my 2007 Toyota Corolla tomorrow, I am bringing back the viral Fine AF 1999 Toyota Corolla ad, courtesy of the Wayback Machine

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla. Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope…but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn. Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End. You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up. This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children. Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would. Interesting facts: This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills. When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.

#The 1999 Toyota Corolla #This car's exterior color is gray‚ but it's interior color is gray.#toyota corolla #this fucking craigslist ad goes through my head every single time I get in my car #why yes I am getting a newer toyota corolla in exchange for my old toyota corolla why did you ask #Did you assume I had a cool car? No. I get what I deserve. A toyota corolla.#laugh rule #personal stuff #memes

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