Romance is Boring by Los Campesinos! is Aromantic and Transgender!
requested by @autismcicle
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If you were given the option
Of dying painlessly in peace at forty-five
But with a lover at your side
After a full and happy life
Is this something that would interest you?
Would this interest you at all?
✯ In Media Res, Los Campesinos!
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if u had to sacrifice someone from Los Campesios! to the small little gnome in the mud outside the small little hut in your small little grotto in which you live alone in (unless you want to count the fairies whom aren't real, a figment of your imagination who is also a tiger called jim and a small little tiny sized Emilee from The Crane Wives)
Who would it be?
tldr: gareth paisey
long version under the cut
gareth paisey
reason 1: he looks like a gnome
have you seen this man? have you seriously looked deep enough at a photo of him? have you not noticed how RED he is in every photo? have you noticed his LARGE ears? and his hair. tell me that’s not gnome hair. say it to my face rn. put a hat on that man and shrink him, he could be your average garden gnome
ex:
reason 2:
one time i had a dream where gareth paisey had wings. like idk what type of wings i don’t remember but i know he had them. doesn’t that scream hallucinated fairies? my theory is that gareth paisey is actually a fairy irl and he’s hiding it from everyone, that’s why he hasn’t toured in europe in so long, since he found out fairies are not welcome there.
reason 3:
i have the very real urge to slap gareth paisey silly. but since assault is illegal, i must go to the next best rhing. sacrificing him.
reason 4:
his height. i genuinely don’t know how tall he is but i am very convinced he is short and i will not take no for an answer. he could fit in the tiny hut, which means he feasibly could be sacrificed to the tiny gnome.
i am going to delete this in the morning. thanks for listening and im Very sorry.
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alternian los campesinos! is still los campesinos! and the lead singer is still gareth paisey (huh didn't realise his nsme fits) but he's an indigoblood and the other singer is his adoptive jadeblood sister kimmhe davidd. their drummer is a cobaltblood named jaison adlini. ok idk about the others' blood colours i can't find they damn birthdays but the guitarists are tomass bromly and nieill turnrr, and their bass is mhatte fidler. they replace their surnames with campesinos! as an act of artistic rebellion against the naming system and the legacy-based ancestor system. they're from troll cardiff
.
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los campesinos is the perfect band because a girl who was really into astrology definitely dumped gareth paisey
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And every quotation that dribbled from your mouth, like a final fatal journal entry.
I know
I'm wrong
I'm sorry
"This Is How You Spell 'Ha Ha Ha We Destroyed The Hopes And Dreams Of A Generation Of Faux-romantics" - Gareth Campesinos!
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Gareth knows the pains of realising you're never going to be a professional footballer. It's a depressing realisation. But at least I've genuinely come to accept my inevitable death and the fact that human lifespans are of a perfect length.
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Left your home town for somewhere new
Don't be surprised now it's leaving you
Another weekday night alone
The rise of rent, the fall of home
The fall of home
Battery dies on your monthly call
Budget cut at your primary school
Another family friend fell sick
Gave the fascists a thousand ticks
✯ The Fall of Home, Los Campesinos!
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I can't believe I chose the mountains every time you chose the sea
✯ Coda: A Burn Scar in the Shape of the Sooner State, Los Campesinos!
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I phone my friends and family
To gather 'round the television
The talking heads count down
The most heart-wrenching breakups of all time
Imagine the great sense of waste
The indignity, the embarrassment
When not a single one of that whole century
Was mine
✯ Straight in at 101, Los Campesinos!
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I flew down south to Mexico
Had a minor realisation
I understood why kids draw the sun
With its rays emanating
And the beams broke the clouds
The sky looked like a concertina
I'd sat on in my pocket for weeks
Folded up from a picture
✯ Straight in at 101, Los Campesinos!
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Talk about your politics
And I wonder if you could be one of them
But you could never kiss a Tory boy
Without wanting to cut off your tongue again
✯ The Sea Is a Good Place to Think of the Future, Los Campesinos!
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The dirt above, the stars below,
I watched your face dry cold amid the afterglow
And when they think of you and me,
it's clear if you're the doormat, I'm the hickory
✯ Cemetery Gaits, Los Campesinos!
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