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#funny how things connect like that
agusthoneyd · 1 year
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i think it's funny that its always mapplethorpe
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thronealigned · 9 months
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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal
#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for#a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally#oc: impulse#sure this'll go in their tag#everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then#really funny again if you think about it even longer#one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending#i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong#impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person#tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people#you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as#sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings#not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges#and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human#connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they#were never the person you became friends with at all#and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were#friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too#they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even#think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope#i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained
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puppyeared · 6 months
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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As fun as the whole “taking away preexisting npcs so the players can actually interact with the people around that I set up” thing is I do want Ayda back. And unfortunately I am not asking 🔫🥰👍
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deelovesbooks · 22 days
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ok y'all I gotta be honest, but I totally knew that Ragh had gotten Kalina from Porter and thought that everyone else also knew this so seeing some people surprised threw me for a loop a bit
However this certainty of knowledge had absolutely no impact on any of my thoughts and theories this season 😂 not once did it cross my mind that Porter was the one with the spies tongue curse and honestly it didn't even cross my mind that Porter had infected Ragh on purpose I figured it was an accident like when Sandra Lynn and Tracker did the healing
I just didn't like Porter bc he was a dick and mean to Gorgug 😂
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mispatchedgreens · 6 months
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drift compatible bitches bc like knows like
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yardsards · 1 year
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clint mcelroy creating a dnd character: oh yeah, this bad boy can fit so much simple zest for life in him
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fafrogke · 7 days
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wait he's innocent it was the rats
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charmac · 3 months
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gunpowder-gemini · 3 months
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i've figured out the my writing process is to write in a non-stop stream of consciousness and then go through and weed out all the unnecessary world-building i've rambled about for paragraphs so the story is actually readable and, y'know, a story and not an in depth manual on my headcanons on how various things in the world work that occasionally breaks out into plot.
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quirkle2 · 6 months
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do u guys remember this pla au where i shoved mob psycho characters into legend arceus and then in an ask i answered abt it i decided on a whim that ingo would stay in the universe and be teru's mentor. do u guys remember that cuz i do
#qktalks#i forgot to connect their speech bubbles in some places ignore that.it's messy ill mix it#teruki hanazawa#mp100 teruki#ingo#subway boss ingo#pokemon#pokemon legends arceus#no art tag this time im aiming to doodle more and finish them up later but for now im tired </3#this concept is.fucking hysterical to me#like there's branches i could take to make this au rly unnecessarily painful and i Will take them#but this ? this is staying bc it's rly fucking funny#ingo would Despise the way pre-mob teru thinks abt everything#the guy takes the kid under his wing bc 1) Where Are His Parents and 2) this kid kinda sucks.#let's teach him good morals! uh oh. it's been two years and he hasn't listened to a goddamn thing i've said#teru treats pkmn like tools and doesn't even stop to think abt whether or not they're sentient at all#and ingo values relationships w pkmn above most other things i'd like to think#teru talks about pokemon like he's talking about how much mileage he'll get out of a car. ingo does not like this#but teru . is stubborn and difficult. and it isn't until mob comes along that he actually starts listening#when teru n mob fight it's like he suddenly understands everything ingo has been telling him for ages#and ingo would ADORE mob when he meets him. he'd be so grateful to him for getting teru to see the wonders in pkmn#that means ingo would also have to meet reigen eventually. and god that is hilarious#it's also just rly funny bc even tho this is a crossover the mp100 characters are not isekai'd in#but ingo is. he's just Some Guy from the future. there r mp100 characters here and he is still the outlier.#idk that's just. fuck that's funny#im reaching the 30 tag limit oh no#that hasn't happened in a while . whoops. ok bye <3
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something something episode six something something about how so far the show seems to be saying that people can grow and change, that being a bad or good person isnt eternal at all which makes the concept of hell and heaven eternal punishment or eternal bliss is stupid and unfair
#hazbin hotel#something something how it can be implied that adam couldve been a good person in his life#'well he is the first soul that got to heaven' as a response to him giving out nasty vibes as an implication that he couldve been good once#something something 'heaven and hell is eternal'#something about how he could not want to admit that angel changing and becoming a good person means that hed be deserving to go to heaven#because 'he only had one life' something about him thinking whaever people do after it doesnt matter#something about him not really knowing what makes a good person to begin with but still in some level what if he knew he spent his life#being good and like if a bad person in hell can change and go to heaven what if someone who was good in their life can change in end up in#hell what if part of the reason he doesnt want angel to go to heaven and leave that up to what they did in their life#is because adam doesnt want to risk going to hell 'i dont know thats what i did' what if he doesnt know what made him a good person#but knows that he was good and doesnt know if he stayed good and thats why he doesnt want wheater someone is still being bad or good to#determine where they Should be thus creating that heaven and hell is eternal thing#also something about how adam putting sticking it to the man as what got him good enough to go to heaven while it was what#got lucifer to go to hell 'asking questions' part of that burried unsecurity of what makes someone good#also something about how angeldust is already being called angel how thats his nickname maybe foreshadowing but as for now it kinda just#adds to that subconscious factor of connecting him and angels and the current eps thingy of how he should be in heaven of how he checked al#those boxes#also it wouldve been funny if angel just flat out just portalled to heaven after cherri said the thing about how#'this hotel stuff if working for him' like Good Job Angel ! Youre An Angel Now ! pdfft#angel dust#adam#hazbin hotel spoilers#spoilers
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thinking about the term feminine rage a lot lately ...... i think its one of those things thats become like. sensationalized in a way??? and divorced from the actual phenomena. because im pretty sure it started gaining traction because people wanted to depict women actually getting angry in a realistic manner because anger is an emotion that culturally women are not really allowed to show or feel but somewhere down the line it evolved into pretty white girl with a manic smile and crocodile tears and a hashtag that gets slapped on anything where a women even remotely raises her voice ...... tragic + reductive + stupid!!!!!!!!
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mars-ipan · 1 year
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i do miss being a little kid and creating the most vividly fucked up stories with my toys that i could
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andthebeanstalk · 6 days
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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sysig · 2 months
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Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#The Captain#Mixed set! :D Lots of singular doodles - one-offs or ones that apply to a few different scenes#The kiss is random tho <3 I still haven't gotten to ZEX showing off his uniform to Zelnick! I want them to!!#Him seeing his Captain in his uniform was so lovely tho <3 I love Big Love and that was so <3 Hehe#Smooch ♥#ZEX does not eat enough ;; He eats like a bird and it's highly distressing#I actually wrote in my notes that I was surprised he wasn't hurting In The Same entry as when he was experiencing hunger pangs haha#It doesn't help that he tends to talk through meals rather than eat - he's so much more interested in making connections with humans!#As far as metaphors go - killing himself for the sake of trying to bridge that gap - I mean it's apt but ZEX please#I think it was while he was talking to Wally at one point that he framed the War in a very flippant light-hearted way which was funny to me#I don't think that's the descriptor most people would use haha#Swearing <3 <3 VUX terminology <3 <3#I want a VUX glossary of terms so badly hehe I've been slowly compiling a few here and there :3 Direct translation! The dream ♫#Him getting stressed enough to swear is very endearing haha ♪ What do you mean I'm endeared by everything he does don't be silly#The next one of me deeply enjoying when he's creepy is not proof of anything! Just because I Happen to also like that!!#I do really love when he's creepy tho agh <3 <3 The mental image of him as The Hunter - casually cornering and capturing his prey <3#In that instance he was interrupted pretty quickly but the setup was there!! And it was extremely good!!!#I love how huffy he gets as well haha ''All these humans interrupting my seduction attempts >O( ...Wait O|'' lol#And finally an exchange on the board between him and Scarecrow haha so many fun faces around!!#I love him being completely baffled by a non-mechanical construct it just short-circuits his brain haha ♥#He's so intelligent but there exists things unknowable!#The image of him tapping his pen is so Incredibly cute ah <3 Where did he learn such a thing! Does it translate from his VUX form to this ♪#Anything everything ♥ Learned or known! It's wonderful
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