#example first 4 character thirsting

[absolutebl]

Hi ABL! After watching episode 1 of Between Us, I was impressed with the level of "thirst" between Boun and Prem's characters in the last couple of scenes. Are there shows or scenes of shows, regardless of actual heat level, that you think did "thirst" well, regardless of how that's resolved at the time? Subjective, I know, but would love to get your take on this!

20 BLs with the BEST Thirst!

Thirst wants to slide a hand under his waistband right tf now and grind. Horny wants to rip his clothes off, and probably pop buttons and laugh about it. Yearning wants to run both hands up his back while they kiss deeply. Hunger wants to lift him by the ass and slam him against the wall.

Raise your glasses please, to THIRST.

I Cannot Reach You - Japan 2023

It's fresh in my mind, so first on this list.

Secret Crush on You - Thailand 2022

This scene in particular sprang next to mind, just because for me it kinda defined thirst in Thai BL. (Also see my #1 pick for sides at the end.)

Jun & Jun - Korea 2023

We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd - Taiwan 2021

2 Moons: Ambassador (AKA 2 Moons 3) - Thailand 2022

Eternal Yesterday - Japan 2022

Why R U? - Korea 2023

HIStory 3 - the BL that shall not be named - Taiwan 2019

Bed Friend - Thailand 2023

They sleeping together but King still thirsty af

Big Dragon - Thailand 2022

My Beautiful Man - Japan 2021

Between Us - Thailand 2022-23

Minato's Laundromat - Japan 2022

Ghost Host Ghost House - Thailand 2022

the infamous leg scene alone qualifies them, but they very mutually thirsty in general

My Personal Weatherman - Japan 2023

It's the point.

I Feel You Linger in the Air - Thailand 2023

The oil scene is a stroke of genius.

Well, several strokes.

Old Fashion Cupcake - Japan 2022

I Told Sunset About You - Thailand 2020

Love in Translation - Thailand 2023

Just because of that damn convenience store make-out scene.

Nitiman - Thailand 2021

I find thirst is often (although not always) the provenance of the seme character.

Mutual thirst is really rare.

Side dish gravy

Shorts, side couples, and so forth.

Oh My Sunshine Night - Thailand 2022

Noh appears 2x on this list. He's GREAT at thirst. Possibly the only Thai actor to give Japan real competition. GIVE HIM ANOTHER LEAD!

HIStory 4: Close To You - Taiwan 2021

Gen Y 2 - Thailand 2022

@heretherebedork and I call them PokeTongue for a reason.

Y-Destiny - Thailand 2021

kiss x kiss x kiss: Perfect Scandal - Japan 2022

No shocker that Japan is the only one to field a micro on this list. Usually thirst takes more build up.

Defining THIRST

I make a distinction between thirst and other types of physical desire. This is just me and language.

Thirst usually leaps off the screen and has an edge of danger to it. Like they gonna get caught, or go out of control just from wanting to touch. They gonna die without physical contact. It's pure survival need. Japan kinda specializes in this.

There's no humor to thirst, but horny can get kinda cheeky. It's more fun and mutual (ee.g. KinnPorsche). More want than need. So it's more Thailand and Taiwan.

There's also yearning (e.g. The 8th Sense), which has a more emotional soul tether to it. Korea in particular, but also like GMMTV and lower heat prestige stuff, high school things for example (My School President).

And finally hunger, which I tend to think of as desire but with a nourishment component. It's I want what's MINE. Like Taejung in Cherry Blossoms After Winter.

These aren't mutually exclusive, mind you.

I dithered but they didn't quite make the list

Irresistible Love - China 2016

Second Chance - Thailand 2021

Takara & Amagi - Japan 2022

Love Area - Thailand 2022

Takumi-kun - Japan 2007

Moonlight Chicken - Thailand 2023

My Engineer (RamKing) - Thailand 2020

It's why we're all still mad we never got full RamKing

(source)

This posted dated end of 2023. Not responsible for thirsty BL that happens after. Check the comments for additions and other's thoughts on the matter.

#bl with thirst #thirsty bl #gay thirst #I Cannot Reach You #japanese bl #Secret Crush on You #SCOY #Thail Bl #Jun & Jun #Korean BL #Although not much of it #We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd #2 Moons: ambassador #2 moons 3 #Eternal Yesterday #why r u korea #Bed Frined #Big Dragon #Between Us #my beautiful man #utsukushii kare #minato's laundromat #ghost host ghost house #My Personal Weatherman #i feel you linger in the air #Old Fashion Cupcake #i told sunset about you #Love in Translation

[seireiteihellbutterfly]

Sundae Tropes - Milestone Event - CLOSED 🍨

Well, hello everyone! I can’t believe it’s finally happened but we’re celebrating a milestone! 300 followers?! Like what? I want to thank each and every single one of you for supporting my little blog. I love the interaction and going forward, hope to have more engagement with everyone. To celebrate, I thought I’d throw together a little event. This is intended to be an 18+ event, so minors MDNI. Welcome to Sundae Tropes! Open to all my followers and moots!

Give it up for the talented @actuallysaiyan for the super cute banner!

Rules

🍨 Make your sundae!

1. Pick a flavor of ice cream 2. Choose 1 or 2 toppings - One per group 3. Pick a man (or woman) from either Bleach or JJK 4. Please note the waffle cone option if none of the toppings appeal to you

So for example, your request could look something like Chocolate with whipped cream and caramel with Renji.

🍨Please note: Since this is meant to celebrate my moots and followers, I will not be accepting anon requests. Anyone who follows me and wants to submit a request, but are shy to have their name show up, please DM me, and I will add your request to the list and reach out to you separately when I’m done writing, without responding to the ask publicly. 

🍨 The reader will by default be written as female unless specified otherwise. Please have a look at my rules for characters I don’t write. All characters are either written as adults or aged up.

🍨Also, since each fandom has certain characters more popular than others, I’m capping the number of requests I receive for these characters. 

🍨This will be open for a week (closing April 12th). 

🍨I will be writing a good number of these and will be feeding all requests into a random generator to pick what order I’m writing these in. 

Flavors

Vanilla - High school sweethearts 

Chocolate - Boss/secretary

Strawberry -  Enemies to Lovers 

Rocky Road - Teacher/student

Cookie dough - Strangers in a foreign city

Coffee - Friends to lovers

Moose Tracks - Fake dating

Mint chocolate chip - Soulmates

Butterscotch - Forced proximity

Cookies and Cream - Marriage pact

Fudge - Captor/Captive

Peanut butter - Secret Billionaire

Butter Pecan- Love Triangle (pick 2 characters)

Birthday cake- Amnesia/Mistaken identity 

Cotton Candy- Secret Admirer 

Cherry- Return to hometown/reunion love 

Toppings (pick up to 2 - one from each group)

Group 1

Sprinkles - Threesome (pick 2 characters)

Whipped cream - Creampie, Breeding Kink

Crushed Oreos - Clit spanking, Nipple play, Bondage

Marshmallow -  Teasing, Edging, Toys

Kit Kats - Exhibitionism, Dirty talk, Hair pulling

Maraschino Cherries - Praise kink, Lingerie, Blowjob

Strawberries - Passionate/romantic sex, Emotional bond

M&Ms - Virginity loss, Soft sex, Sweet talking

Group 2

Banana - Doggystyle

Reeses Pieces- Cowgirl

Chocolate-covered pretzels - Missionary

Nutella - Butterfly Position

Caramel - Thirst Position

Gummy bears - Facesitting

Brownie bits - 69

Chocolate chips -  Lotus position

Kinks and fetishes not your thing? Want something fluffy and SFW? Add a waffle cone to any flavor! Pick a waffle cone prompt from the list below:

A waffle cone request could look like: Vanilla waffle cone #4 with Gojo

"I'm going on a blind date." "In hopes of them actually being blind?"

"Is there something I can do to make it easier?"

“Don’t you dare walk away right now!”

“Do you miss us?”

"I trust you with all of my heart."

“I have the feeling that you’re trying not to kiss me and I give you permission to just do it.”

“Do you want my jacket?”

"You're all my favorite things about the world concentrated into one person”

"You hugged me like your personal pillow."

“Oh, just shut up, I’m not blushing!”

“Morning cuddles are the best part of the day.”

“Of course I know the way you like your coffee.”

"My heart dances every time I look at you."

Why is your stupid face just so kissable?”

“Your laugh is contagious.”

"I never believed in love at first sight before I met you."

all dividers by @/ cafekitsune Prompts from @/ creativepromptsforwriting

#bleach #jujustu kaisen #jjk #tumblr milestone #300 followers #followers event #sundae tropes #bleach smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #lovely moots 💕 #Awesome followers #vee writes #nanami kento x reader #gojo satoru x reader #byakuya kuchiki x reader #ichigo kurosaki x reader #jushiro ukitake x reader

[archivalofsins]

So, let's talk about the last few questions.

In this post we'll be discussing Kotoko's second trial interrogation questions.

Here's every post I've made regarding all of her interrogation questions.

Question 1, Question 2, Question 3, Questions 4-7 Part 1, Question 7-9 Part 2, Question 10.

So, today we'll be attempting to cover every question that has come out since then.

That means questions eleven through sixteen.

They aren't really that interesting but at least the written interrogation is almost over. This trial has been rather repetitive if I'm being honest.

But first let's address the elephant in the room-

I want to spend the beginning of this post discussing the behavior exhibited by a few bad apples over the course of Kotoko's second trial. What follows are just my personal experiences and my opinions on the matter.

Gunsli; why haven't you been discussing the questions the day they release? You were doing it that way at the start. Why are you waiting for a batch of them to drop then writing something up on it now? To take it further why are you being so thorough when it comes to Kotoko specifically? I mean you weren't like this with any of the other prisoners.

Okay, example questions that I've written up to answer. For anyone new here I was like this with other characters. Like literally this whole side blog is like this.

I spent the second trial of one of my favorite characters blatantly stating he was lying in every way possible. Highlighting it was definitely him that did that shit and how unfair it was that he was coasting to an innocent verdict in comparison to the trials of others before him. Regardless of if others wanted to speculate differently.

So, please believe me when I say one thing, I am consistent in my behavior.

I talk and write about the things that interest me.

Literally all of the prisoner's written interrogations have been interesting to me to varying degrees. Kotoko isn't the first prisoner I've written a lot about, and she won't be the last.

This is Milgram.

This is how it works. We've gone nine other trials doing the same thing for everyone else. Kotoko is not special. This is just another trial on the record for me. Sorry not sorry; don't go losing your heads over it now. She's no different from the nine other characters to come before her.

Plus, to be crass for a moment Kotoko doesn't want to step on anyone here anyway. She especially isn't going to want to step on the people that fully believe she's right. I've got a better chance of being stepped on by her than any of the yes man thirsting after her. Well, that is if Anti Beat is anything to go by.

With that low shot out of the way. I have been as critical of every prisoner as I've been with Kotoko. Even going as far to highlight when my own biases may be impacting my view on a character or their situation. The only character in Milgram who even remotely got any leniency from me if we're being real was Kazui.

The only reason that was is because people were espousing what came off to me as homophobic rhetoric in regards to his case, and I didn't want anything I said to be involved with that. Even still when I said what I thought he did after his trial ended, I still got flack for it. He wasn't even on fucking trial anymore it literally couldn't impact anything to speak about the concept in good faith.

So, I'm not coming at this brand new. I try to remain as consistent as possible. I have my lines and stick to them.

Even though I can get heated just like anyone else I still try my best to not compromise myself and discuss the topics at hand with consideration towards others. The reason I've moved to discussing Kotoko's written interrogation in batches like this is because-

One, it's more entertaining for me to do it that way and keeps my own attention better. Since I'm busy with life stuff currently. Also, it gives breathing room for the tag to die down in activity. So, more avid fans of her character don't end up coming across my post. Whether anyone wants to believe it or not some of Kotoko's fans have simply been the most obnoxious out of any trial to happen so far.

One going as far as to direct message me with what they believed to be pertinent corrective information that needed to be brought to my attention about a post I made. Condescendingly telling me I think you don't know what that word means causing this post to be necessary.

These are all the screenshots of it I still have from sharing this experience on discord. Honestly, I don't have a damn thing to hide. Even though I believe my behavior in this instance could have been better.

The behavior exhibited by this party regardless of how they personally feel about Kotoko or not was incredibly inappropriate. They contacted me under the belief that they could educate me on my improper use of this term. For what I can only believe was in the hopes of me rewording the post I had written to use a softer and less serious phrase in their opinion.

The way this person went about this was to me indicative of an entitled and woefully misinformed individual. They begin this conversation by demeaning my intelligence. Then when informed they were in fact incorrect about their assertion state,

"I apologize with that, I wasn't trying to say grooming can only be sexual. That wasn't exactly my point though with messaging you about this."

Then continued to denote that grooming can only occur when physical touch is present through stating,

"Grooming is still a very serious term to throw around, so I do not see how Kotoko deliberately pushing a child away from her and manipulating her to retract a testimony can somehow equate to grooming her."

A sentiment that still implies this individual believes on some level that all grooming is overtly physical or sexual.

I can admit I came on strong in these direct messages with this individual. Who again decided they just had to contact me about what they believed to be an egregious error on my part. I was defensive due to being rightfully upset by the situation occurring. However, this instance is not indicative of the sort of person I want to be when instances like this arise.

Even if from my perspective this individual had messaged me in a very accusatory, combative, disrespectful fashion that ultimately ended in insulting my intelligence. I can recognize how me sticking to facts and definitions may come off as callous, inconsiderate, or obstinate.

Still, I've stated before and I will state again I do not argue with people over their subjective opinions.

That is why when it came to my attention this was a subjective and personal interpretation which had nothing to do with my wording or the meaning of the term being used, I told this person as much. Then the discussion ended shortly after. Did I have to explain my point of view further when I stated that to them? No, I did not. At the time I was very annoyed that someone had messaged me with a lecture about something they didn't fully understand and were only treating seriously to use as a justification for why Kotoko or her actions should not be referred to in the way I did.

An individual going from, "I think you were using this term wrong" to "Well even if you were using it correctly I still think it's a very serious term to just fling around like you are". Is incredibly wishy washy to say the least and at the most disingenuous. In my opinion the behavior exhibited was not treating the topic of grooming with the seriousness it deserved.

I used the term I did in that post because this topic matters to me. It is something I am very serious about for personal reasons. For someone to message me something of this nature without knowing one thing about me or my life solely based on my post about Kotoko is disrespectful. They don't know what I know, what I've been through, or what experiences shaped me concluding what I did.

They just saw me saying something they didn't like/agree with about a character they enjoy and messaged me this without taking my own personhood into consideration. I could have blocked them. I didn't have to engage. I could have spent that hour doing something better with my time than being pestered by someone who had already chosen what their opinion of me was before even messaging under the guise of just wanting to share their concerns.

Because heaven forbid people know the technical definition of grooming or how to spot it. I mean if they did that may actually help people recognize when it's happening outside of a sexual context and move away from individuals that may be predating on them. What kind of sicko would want that? Me I want that. I want people to know how to spot these things because it's important and it allows people to be safer in real life. I don't think it's a controversial opinion to have or to state. I don't think that's an odd thing to want.

I'm not worried about fictional people. I'm worried about the safety and well-being of real people. How the beliefs people apply in Milgram can impact how they act in their real lives, the way they treat others, and how they analyze difficult and controversial topics. Maybe if we just fling around terms when they're applicable people just might learn something. Even if some people don't see how this applies or even agree with the assertion on a subjective level.

Some people in this fandom could really benefit from becoming comfortable with saying that lesson wasn't meant for me and moving the fuck on. Instead of doing things like this.

Outside of this instance other people have been harassing me before this trial even fucking started. So, what the fuck am I meant to do in this situation, huh? Some people may feel like I should stop talking about it. Yet, the fact that some people have no clue what the definition of grooming is should be a topic of concern and discussion actually. That's a legitimate problem.

Which is why I made that post discussing it.

So, from this I know personally that more avid fans have been behaving in this manner since checks notes (the timestamp of the discord messages)-

The day after her song was released.

So, if anyone doesn't see a back and forth happening here, please assume it's happening in private just like many did with other trials. Instead of believing both parties are ignoring the other and equally dismissive.

In previous trials people wanted to talk about taking things too seriously, Milgram being in good fun, and the characters not being real people when it came to literal depictions of child abuse and neglect.

There were a fair few people reducing Amane's situation to not treating her like a child because she asked us not to do that. Stating that treating her like a victim of abuse was comparable to treating her like a child. That doing so would be infantilizing and something she expressed not wanting in her first voice drama.

Ignore the fact that in her second voice drama Es specifically speculates that she on some level did want to be treated like a child and for her mistakes to be forgiven.

Along with these line that blatantly allude to this being the case from her first song Magic,

"Dear wise one, is this ok? Is it ok to be weak sometimes? I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah! I won’t say “I’ve had enough” Will you laugh with me and forgive me?"

"I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile. Forever, forever together would be a dream. Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?"

"Even I can say "I'm sorry". Even I have hope I swear! I'm going to be a good girl now! That's it!"

This isn't about the abuse or her age this about taking a firm stance against cult mentalities. Amane needs to know that this sort of behavior is wrong and is never excusable even when you're being actively abused. Despite that not being the case at all during Mu's first trial.

It's like trauma and abuse are only a reasonable justification that should be taken into consideration to further contextualize the situation at hand only when it's certain characters. Not something that is getting applied equally across trials. Statements such as these prompted me to state this at the time.

Some fans of the series even going as far to state the individuals who wanted Amane Innocent during that trial were mean, aggressive, rabid, and unreasonable. Based on things happening from other platforms that certain individuals choose to bring here.

For some reason during Amane's trial people were barely discussing the blatant trauma displayed let alone speculating about other trauma she may have.

Then when discussing this situation with a friend during the day of the eclipse they brought up how everyone was really different about Haruka's trauma too. Voting him guilty for safety reasons or to show him how he was behaving was wrong and undesirable. Despite a 50/50 being possible in his situation. The same reasons people tried to use again with Amane.

So, I really don't see why some people believe speculating about Kotoko having trauma, something that everyone in Milgram and every person on earth has, is going to better contextualize her behavior, bring nuance to, or even help her case. The fandom has consistently shown that they do not care about people with trauma over the course of trial two unless it's a certain type. Some want to state that others are pushing forth the idea that Kotoko doesn't have trauma when I've personally seen no one say that and I have not said that myself.

Because it would be asine to say that. Everyone in the world has trauma to varying extents. I could not walk up to one person and ask hey do you have trauma that would go, "Actually no.... I don't think I have any. Nothing in my life has ever upset me to the extent of it being traumatic. I've actually never had any troubles ever. The world is just perfect for me. I look outside the airs crisp the sun shines all time. Sure I've faced hardships but nothing as severe as what it takes to have genuine trauma and no I've never needed therapy. I'll also never go."

It would sound off if someone told me that. It would sound a lot like, "Well some have it worse so I can't complain. Even the worst thing that has happened to me couldn't compare to what people who truly struggle go through." When honestly people can be doing worse than you and that would not diminish the experiences in your life that have hurt you or even excuse those people who have had it worse hurting you if they do. The reverse is true too. Someone could be doing better than you and that in no way can be used to dismiss the struggles they've gone through or the pain your actions may cause them.

That's just simply not how anything works. Trauma is not a competition. Sure there are varying degrees of trauma and not everyone's is going to be the same. Think of it like a burn there are different degrees but at the end of the day everyone still gets burned every once and a while. We can discuss the severity but at the end of the day all burns need treatment and time to heal. Getting burned is no excuse to be an arsonist. That has always been my point with this. Not that Kotoko doesn't have trauma but that having trauma is a normal part of life. That does not make anyone less or more than the other people around them.

I've only pointed out that I believe it's a bit ableist to state she has to have trauma because "No normal person ends up like her" or "Because no one without trauma would end up the way she is". Because newsflash everyone has some sort of trauma. Something I don't personally have an issue admitting. Furthermore, anyone could end up like Kotoko no one has to be a special sort of messed up in their past to end up the way she is. Yet not being a special sort of messed up from your past doesn't it make it more likely for someone to turn out like Kotoko.

Any person could turn out like this. Anybody could choose to behave the same way she does. Regardless someone's past does not justify or excuse them being cruel or lashing out at others. Plus, like I covered in both Amane and Haruka's cases their trauma was either blatantly ignored or weaponized against them. So, I don't see how speculating about this will make the situation better.

If that's just what people enjoy doing with their time go for it. I'm not one to knock what others find enjoyable as long as they aren't hurting others.

Plus, on a personal note I love a bit of angst every now and then myself. As well as project on the characters that I relate to. So, I understand why a good deal of people would be attached to the concept of her having trauma, maybe even trauma like their own.

However, other people not enjoying that is no reason to consistently harass or mistreat them. People can have their fun but it shouldn't be at the expense of the people around them and their feelings. I'm personally not going to speculate about shit we haven't seen at all and I have no interest in.

Kotoko having the sort of traumatic past for the reasons some individuals want her to have one just does not intrigue me. I'm not speculating on this at this time because the way it is being speculated is demeaning to me.

Want to know the most fucked up part?

People will say that others are saying she doesn't have trauma. Including myself in this when I literally fucking speculated, she had a dissociative disorder.

Something that forms through traumatic events.

So, it's not even like I'm avidly against this, don't see the merit in thinking about it, or haven't speculated on this before. I just don't think having trauma should be used as a justification or excuse for how she has behaved in the past or has stated she is committed to continuing to behave now.

I also don't believe it is something readily apparent based on how she behaves. Because again that's fucking ableist regardless of how I slice it that's how it comes off. Yet even if I didn't fucking speculate that and I saw no merit in examining Kotoko's possible trauma. That would be a personal decision of mine deserving of respect, not a thing to be antagonized over.

To be honest I find it interesting and somewhat disingenuous that things are suddenly that serious now.

Oh, but no it's only that serious if that speculative information is being used to explain and give additional context to her behavior specifically. Only if the one doing so is presenting that in a sympathetic way of course. If they're doing this in a way that comes off as demonizing Kotoko to the other party or displaying that she's wrong, then they get messages like those.

Explaining politely that they are in fact a moron, whose statements have really hurt the other person's feelings, that just doesn't know the harm their words are causing or the definition of the terms they use. To people viewing these issues in this way suddenly the other party is the sort of person who couldn't analyze their way out of a paper bag let alone through Milgram.

You just don't get it- You're a,

Moron who just didn’t understand.

Q.10 What were you called online?

Kotoko: A lot of things. Cause there were people who supported me, and then there were also morons who just didn’t understand.

No need to fret though these good people are here to help teach you the right way to interpret this now. You can learn the right way to analyze this, okay? A way that isn't so offensive to them. If you can do that maybe there's still some hope for you. Ya little dumb-dumb. With your little dumb-dumb theories and statements that lack nuance. Oh, you little thing you- If you can just listen now there's still a chance.

If you can't then you're just one of those people, it seems.

Wait, wait hold on- Let's wind it back a bit.

What about the logic used before? What if all the people voting Kotoko guilty were just having fun and the innocent voters were so aggressive and unreasonable? So, what if some people wanted to vote Kotoko guilty for the fuck of it. They're just trying to have some fun guys, it's not that serious. She's not a real person.

How would people behaving in that manner now be any different from any of the other trials then? Other than the fact that some of the people involved are on the receiving end of it this time.

At least I wouldn't be making an entire fucking shrine over it! Bribing people to vote a certain way and creating a new superstition. Yet to some of the people behaving in these ways towards other people the other party just talking about it online is bad enough.

The only reason that things have been quiet in this case is due to a lot of people who are too nice not wanting to rock the boat and staying quiet. Not because nothing is going on at all. Just like with the anon sent to the confession blog. There have been individuals who act like this for a well-documented amount of time. Harassing people behind the guise of anonymity and in private. The tactics have not changed, and individuals who choose to behave in this way will do anything to who they view as against them in the moment without much thought.

This is not an us versus them situation. This is not a cold war. This is a few bad actors harassing people for enjoying and viewing things in a different way than them.

I believe that's the definition of taking things too seriously when it comes to Milgram. So yeah, I'm saying my piece and hauling ass as quickly as possible and doing something else.

Because this is what people who even remotely discuss any of the characters analytically get for it. Not even just Kotoko. This same shit has happened to me multiple times throughout the second trial of Milgram with different characters. Which is why I treat all of this like any other day.

Yet, through saying this I recognize there are still going to be some who could frame me as behaving like this. Some people may seriously view myself and others who discuss Kotoko in ways they dislike as literal villains. People that are just conniving in the shadows to ruin her good name and strip her miraculous character of all nuance.

Evil laughing guffawing like fucking Alvin and Chipmunks villains. As they rub their hands together and laugh with their high pitch voices of sin.

Mwahahah-

"Look at her bloody evil covered in sin we've done it- We've ruined and flattened this character! We've achieved! Yaha!" They possibly imagine people who discuss her in disagreeable ways cheering as they hit that post button with a menacing grin. Just like Kotoko doing her fucking journalism and all that research.

It's so funny how much both parties in this situation have in common with Kotoko when one takes a step back to really think about it.

Hell, some fans of Milgram look at the work the staff on the series does and how certain characters have been portrayed in canon over the course of trial two the same way as people are being viewed in this situation for how they discuss Kotoko. Something that has been happening for a while. The people who create the thing aren't even exempt from this sort of behavior.

There are a good deal of people who act like this toward others then go crying about how there isn't enough nuance being applied in these situations. How people just aren't thinking about these things hard enough or in the right way. When really there is nuance just not the sort they want.

I talk about Milgram for my own enjoyment.

I'm not getting anything from this outside of displaying that enjoyment for the most part. I don't have a vendetta against Kotoko as a character. None of the Milgram characters are the people who consider themselves to be their fans.

How the people that claim to like these characters treat other real people is completely on them, reflective of their character, and ability for empathy. Simply put they chose to treat other people the ways they did and they are responsible for that regardless of how in the right they believe they are.

Yet, even if some bad actors who call themselves fans of hers consistently caused me strife that doesn't impact how much I like Kotoko's character. Just like me discussing her in a not completely positive light isn't indicative of my feelings on her either.

I can separate a character from their fans. I had a lot of practice with other prisoners before this. I can criticize a characters actions while still grasping and understanding their motivations. This is just another Monday where I talk about the things I like the way I enjoy discussing them. This trial is like every other trial to me.

In my opinion the fandom hasn't changed one bit and if anyone were to pop the hood they'd see all the gunked up gears inside. Yet, heed this warning once you go under you don't go back up top without getting dirty.

That's Milgram and it always has been.

This is what this fandom is like. A lot of good people are trying to make the best of it. Even those mistakenly hurting others in their upset are just trying to look out for their own enjoyment. Possibly in what may be the only way they know how to in this moment. That's really the only grace I can extend at this time.

So, as always when I discuss things like this within the fandom- Remember to treat people how you would personally like to be treated. How you would want your opinions and beliefs to be treated. Remember that this fandom is a space for more people than yourself. So, not everyone is going to view things the same way as you.

Take a step back and realize how amazing and enriching that fact can be. Take a moment to appreciate the diversity that each person within this fandom contributes to it. Whether that's for better or worse.

If someone's views aren't doing any harm to real people then the best thing to be is respectful. No one would want another person to walk up to them then tell them they're enjoying something they like improperly. Yes someone's individual beliefs can upset another person and be in direct opposition to what they believe but that's not causing anyone harm. Not everyone I meet in my life is going to agree with my personal beliefs or how I present them.

That does not diminish the value of those beliefs.

Diversity of thought isn't an issue. It's only becomes an issue when those thoughts turn into actions that hurt people. In fact, diversity of thought is how nuance is formed. The thing some are saying Kotoko's case does not have enough of. Which is why that statement rings so disingenuous to me across fandoms not just here.

If for some reason it's impossible for another person to be considerate and respectful of the other individuals they share a space with then they should remove themselves from that space. There is no reason for anyone to actively antagonize others on their posts in a bad faith, disrespectful, and reductive ways. There's especially no reason to direct message someone in an attempt to make them feel insecure or uncertain about something they've posted just because one may personally disagree with it.

I'm not sorry about the way I discuss Kotoko.

I am sorry that so many people are more concerned over the perception of a fictional character that they've begun stepping on the feelings and boundaries of the real people they share a space with. I'm ashamed that individuals in the fandom have and are continuing to act the ways I've experienced, seen, and heard of them acting towards people.

All of whom do quite frankly thankless work at times. I can only hope that the people who have behaved in this manner over the course of the series mature one day and recognize how detrimental their actions have been not only for themselves but to those around them.

This is the only time I will be discussing this situation in depth.

Now onto the questions.

I'm going to be brief with some of these because I didn't really feel like they gave much of anything new.

Q.11 Is there really no chance to start anew for wrongdoers?

Kotoko: No way. Once a beast gets a taste for human flesh, it will always come back for seconds.

From the beginning Kotoko hasn't been focused on if people can change. She has been focused on making them understand the suffering and pain they've caused. She's stated that people can't realize the severity of what they've done without first losing something themselves in her second voice drama,

"Es, look. Someone who committed a crime can only realise its severity through losing something. I've seen many criminals, but none of them would give way without pain."

Yet, this goes as far back as her first trial song.

"I’ll teach you the pain you caused. It’s a tie after saying sorry? What are you hoping for?"

Where she blatantly states that this isn't about apologizing and making amends it's about the other person experiencing the same pain as they caused. Throughout Harrow we also see that one of the people that Kotoko jumps has been held accountable by a court of law. However as we know from Kotoko's seventh second trial written interrogation question she has her doubts about the legal systems ability to properly punish sin.

So, she may not believe that a punishment handed down by judiciary is good enough in this circumstance. Especially for an individual implied to be a repeat offender. Him possibly getting a slap on the wrist for something he has a pattern of doing would probably only frustrate her more.

Especially if Kotoko was connected to the person he swindled in any way. Then that would make this situation more of a personal one.

So, let's take a look back at the articles from Harrow. For the record this is more speculative so feel free to ignore it.

I just felt there was something strange about the newspaper articles in her case. On of them is about a serial killer going around murdering young girls. Yet the others are mostly petty financially exploitative crimes that expressly take advantage of an elderly woman, moms, and bike owners.

That a pretty huge leap in severity. I wouldn't really think that much of it if it weren't for what we know about Kotoko.

Q.08  Tell us your family structure.

Kotoko: Grandmother, father, mother, older brother.

Q.08 What are your parent’s occupations?

Kotoko: They’re just the normal office worker and housewife. Did you want me to be born in with some unique circumstances?

In the translation there are two articles that stick out the most to me in reference to this information.

The one about the Bank Employee Impersonation scam where an elderly eighty year old woman was stalked and tricked into giving up a bank note for five hundred thousand yen or three thousand two hundred ninety four dollars and eight three cents in USD. The perpetrator of this crime was later identified as Mikio Oshii the person we see Kotoko jumping in Harrow and alluded to going to jump in Deep Cover.

I think it's possible and reasonable to speculate the first elderly woman that Mikio Oshii scammed was Kotoko's grandmother. Something that may have caused her to be interested in the case to begin with. I say first instead of second because it seems she was looking into it before the second case even occurred.

The second article referring to the fortieth victim of a "It's Me" Phone scam where a woman received a phone call from a man claiming to be their eldest son stating they'd been in an accident and needed money. Ultimately the man ended up scamming the woman out of a million yen. Stating that he'd been hospitalized due to the accident and needed the money he told her to deliver it to a train station which she did. That's another six thousand five hundred and eighty nine dollars and sixty-six cents gone.

Oh yeah Kotoko has an older brother and her mom is a housewife right? Huh... She implies that her family circumstances aren't unique through asking if we wanted her to be born under some unique circumstances. Yet, her life is a lot more interesting when you really look at everything laid out.

Her father is the sole earner of the household. Yet she goes to a top law university and managed to study martial arts from a young age. They're not rich like Mu's family but they're comfortably middle class at least. Yet this means a few scams like this and Kotoko's family would suddenly find it incredibly financially difficult to cover her university costs.

I asked Bunny about what her tuition costs would look like, and they stated,

Ok the amount I found for the University of Tokyo's law department was 804,000円 per year or $5298 per year

Then because I asked what the average office worker salary was.

kotoko uses the term 'kaishain' which is very generic 'office worker'/'company employee so as you said, lots of variation but this is apprently the average

If we go by ungendered average (4,610,000 yen) then its roughly $30,000 per year

Meaning the amount of money that her family members could have possibly lost for these scams is over the amount of how much one year of tuition would cost her.

"How heavy “HARROW” “HARROW” Is the damage to get in the way of someone’s dream- I’ll gouge you out with my fangs."/ "How heavy “HARROW” “HARROW” If it damaged someone’s dream to the points of stopping it- I’ll gouge you out with my fangs."

Not having the money to cover your next year is a good enough reason for anyone to take a break. Whoa Gunsli you just spent the whole first segment of this explaining that people were harping on Kotoko having trauma too much but now you're speculating-

Well, I also said I talk about the things that interest me. The fact that Kotoko's family members could have suffered from financially exploitative scams by the people she jumped. Well, that's pretty damn interesting.

Especially when we take this interaction between her and Mikoto into consideration,

20/07/01

Mikoto: Hey, hey, Koto-chan. I’ve been thinking this ever since I first heard your name, but don’t you think the names “Mikoto” and “Kotoko” kinda sound like siblings?

Kotoko: No.

Mikoto: Don’t say that! Let’s get along well from here on as the Koto-Koto combo!

Kotoko: I’m not doing that.

It's incredibly funny to me personally to imagine Kotoko possibly just disliking Mikoto because he reminds her of her actual older brother with his careless and flippant behavior. Hell one of the bikes stolen could have actually been her older brothers. Yet, this also showcases that she may hold a great importance in her family. Be it found or through blood.

Something she's consistently shown to be committed to. She's the sort to want to protect her pack is the best way to put it. I don't even know if this can be considered trauma or being incredibly unlucky. This would also explain why she's so hypervigilant around others and standoffish when it comes to the other prisoners at first.

If she's used to being in a close proximity to scammers and conman of course she'd be suspicious from jump.

20/05/30

Mahiru: Hey, Kotoko-chan. There’s something that’s really been bugging me, so do you mind if I ask? ……how do you style yourself so well? Have you always dressed like that? But it also looks like something you’d wear for training. Do you play sport? Ah, or maybe some kind of martial arts?

Kotoko: ……you really are carefree. Everyone in here is a “murderer” right? Is this really the time to be asking questions like that?

Mahiru: Hmm, I guess so. That’s what they said. But nobody here seems particularly scary or anything, right? If I had to pick someone, then maybe you’re the scariest! Ah, wait, do you do like yoga or something?

Kotoko: ……I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or are just an airhead.

It would also fall in line with her going by Es' word because even though she doesn't really have much faith in Es just the merit of Milgram as a system. Then she may recognize she's simply a bit oblivious when it comes to the behavior of other people, knows she isn't the best judge of these things, and doesn't want the responsibility in case she's wrong. Sure she's confident that she'll know evil when she sees it but living with the what if's is a bit more difficult when it's all on you. Ultimately this is purely speculative and the people she jumped could be completely uninvolved with her.

However, the reason I doubt that is because of this line in Harrow-

"Whose fault is it, This is getting ridiculous."

We're never really told whose she's looking for and why. It's fair to assume that it was the child murderer but she continues going even after taking care of him as we see in Deep Cover. So what the fuck is this line referring to?

Plus it would make sense if she was suddenly no longer financially able to go to college anymore. Kotoko doesn't show a disinterest in law. In fact though she scrutinizes the justice system her interest in it seems genuine. She probably had an interest in cleaning it up from the inside and since being in Milgram she's shown an interest in continuing her studies repeatedly. So, if that was the dream that was stopped then it'd make sense if due to Milgram she began to believe it was possible again.

Especially since she went from blatantly stating she dropped out in her first voice drama to stating she's just on leave because there's something else she wants to do right now in her first written interrogation.

Q.07 What did you study at university?

Kotoko: Technically, I’m studying law. I’m on a break right now because there’s something else I want to do, though.

This would also fall in line with her belief that once an offender always an offender. As she would have been there to witness how some people behave even if it wasn't her who was actively victimized by them and just people close to her. Something that would tie into her very defensive response to this question,

Q.18  Have you ever personally been persecuted in the past?

Kotoko: I haven’t. But are you trying to say that if you haven’t had those experiences you can’t hate evildoers?

Plus I feel it would explain why literally outside of the child murders everything else on her board is a petty crime. This could just be a tidbit meant to mirror how Haruka works his way up from animals to people. Yet I don't think so because Kotoko goes from taking out a serial killer to jumping a conman. It's also possible that Kotoko and the serial killer are related in some way. Maybe through the hit and run.

From the beginning of Harrow Kotoko is flashing to the memorial and call for information on the hit and run. That we later find out the person she kills is speculated of being responsible for as well. If Kotoko was a witness to the hit and run in some way she would have more reason to assume the worse of this guy. She would also know the lengths that people involved with this person had gone to in order to cover up his heinous behavior and enable him.

Making it more likely for her to believe that if he wasn't taken care of then and there he'd just end up getting another slap on the wrist again. Or basically that this was the only way of handling the situation.

However outside of all that what Kotoko says here could also be a simple case of projection. Where she believes that others can't change because she thinks she can't either. Note that in her answer she moves away from her usual wording of discussing things in terms of good and evil.

Instead stating,

"No way. Once a beast gets a taste for human flesh, it will always come back for seconds."

Despite the question only asking about wrongdoers not murderers she immediately jumps there by saying once a beast gets a taste of human flesh. Kotoko also very similarly to Mikoto fears that she is the beast or monster that she's trying to fight.

Plus, her very first glitched voice line is-

"This feels so good."

Making it likely that a bit of her own self-hatred is coming through with this answer. Making me interpret it as her going I can't stop so how would they be able to.

Q.12 But aren’t 'your' actions an overstep of boundaries?

Kotoko: You were the one who chose to walk this path with me, aren’t you? I simply serve as a means to fulfill your wishes as a warden.

Remember when I said I was going to make some of these brief. I agree with Kotoko here. Like the audience supported her mindset. She put on full display she jumps criminals and she was in a place where others had already been judged as criminals. Before she was even on trial the others started showing signs of being viewed that way. I mean what can I say other than yeah the audience choose that. I didn't. I didn't vote on her first trial.

Like in the first half she's right. The second half she's lying. Like she hasn't even asked Es what they want her to do. Es is the warden. However, technically Kotoko does not consider Es to be the warden. She considers the audience to be the warden and Es to be just another prisoner being used as a proxy for the audience the real wardens. As shown through Deep Cover,

"“UNDER” Inept “011 Guard”"

And like some of the audience did want those people jumped. Hell, some celebrated them being jumped. So, like maybe we've wrapped back around to her just being right. Still I don't have much to say about this.

Q.13 Was the person you killed evil?

Kotoko: Of course. I’ve investigated to the very end and confirmed every detail. It’s easier here since you’re the one who’s deciding who gets punished.

I believe in journalist Kotoko to be unbiased and fair. She is fair and just. No one would ever wrongfully report on an event in the music videos where it's put on fully display that news outlets cannot be trusted as one's sole source of information several different ways. In a series where the voice drama of the very second prisoner discusses the pitfalls of tabloids and news shows.

I don't believe her by the way.

I believe that she believes she researched it thoroughly. However, she did just attempt to jump four people solely based on the opinion of what appears to be a middle schooler. So, who's to say. Then ended this by saying it's easier now that she has said middle schooler here to decide who gets punished.

In fairness she could be referring to the audience but we all know how much we know. So, that's hardly any better. I'd feel safer if she was making the decisions herself actually and I know she's going to jump Mikoto if she does. Maybe they would just be in constant combat like Wile E Coyote and the Road Runner. Then at least everyone else would be good.

Q.14 Don’t you feel a sense of isolation in your current situation?

Kotoko: It feels like nothing's changed. If the world gets even a little better just by me undertaking this isolation, then that is the role the strong play.

Hey, she's committed to being alone just like Mikoto is committed to that job. If the world can't change that's the world's problem you just keep doing you. Never introspect. If nothing has changed that really means the world hasn't gotten better or worse. Yet, you know maybe if you keep doing the same things over and over the outcome will change.

Also sidenote she wasn't really talking to anyone like that. Why would she mind the isolation like who does she miss. The one girl that's nice to her she put in a cast. She could go see her. Hell, she doesn't have any hard feelings about the jumping thing. She said so in her second voice drama. Kotoko does not have to be alone.

Mikoto even tried talking to her on her birthday. Shidou and Kazui tried to negotiate a ceasefire and have been since the first trial of trial two. People talk to her! Plus, they aren't really rude when she comes up and talks to them.

Literally everyone is over here like,

Kazui: Come join us in sin Kotoko.

Mikoto: Yeah come in the sin is fine~ Koto-koto duo!

Yuno: Come on a little sin never hurts- Do it just smile.

Mahiru: We're not so different- We could all get along if we try. Let's have fun!

Kotoko: ... (They’re still here, still here, it grates me.)

In Kotoko vision meanwhile they're all here in actuality like,

Yuno: Does she like want something?

Mahiru: Maybe she feels bad about what she did.

Shidou: ... Possibly. (Shiina is so hopeful. Though why is Yuzuriha-kun making growling noises...)

Kotoko: Sinful...all of them.

Amane: ???

Kazui and Mikoto aren't even here she's just still mad about them interfering.

Q.15 Tell us the details of your promise with Haruka.

Kotoko: Looks like you’ve done your research. Well, it’s something I won’t go forward with myself. I do feel a bit disappointed about it though.

Look I've been writing this for two days and if I don't finish before her next question drops, I'm going to feel obligated to add that too. So, no lead up with this one.

The way this question is phrased heavily implies exactly what Haruka will be doing over the course of the intermission. Which will be killing our favorite good girl,

Yuno Kashiki.

Or at least attempting to. Kotoko expressly states that what Haruka is doing is something she wouldn't go forward with herself. The thing that Kotoko has taken a hard stance against is attacking the innocent or forgiven.

Something that Kotoko has repeatedly stated herself that she would not do,

Specifically in these instances.

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time.

Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you.

Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you're to keep to your word, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.

Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

"Hurting the innocent through violence, taking from others, killing people... I can't stand it at all! There are too many cases of The Law being unable to deliver a verdict to sinning. Just by exploiting loopholes in the law, the sinners who have bullied and tortured the weak can still live out their lives unpunished! I want to change this world but I alone only have so much power!"

Q.20 What do you consider “evil”?

Kotoko: The persecution of the weak and innocent.

That's Kotoko's hard line she's not going to attack people who have been deemed innocent. Because she genuinely believes the persecution of the weak and innocent is wrong. We don't have to worry about Haruka attacking Amane because Kotoko said he's going to do something she wouldn't which she admitted she would have done that,

"Ah, about that... My apologies. I couldn't give enough pain to Kayano Mikoto and Momose Amane."

..! You..!

"I attacked everyone in order, but because of the interference caused by Kayano Mikoto and Mukuhara Kazui, who was protecting Kajiyama Fuuta, I couldn't finish it properly. But I was still able to do some damage. After attacking Shiina Mahiru, I had no time left for Momose Amane."

You've planned... on attacking Amane too?

"That's right. You haven't forgiven her, so wouldn't it be justified?"

But she's just a child...

"So what? This "child" is kept here because she murdered a person, isn't she?"

Right...

"You thought I won't attack her because of the young age? Sorry for disappointing you. It's all because of my lack of strength."

Whether Kotoko behaves this way because she genuinely believes hurting the innocent and weak is wrong or because she wants her actions to be justifiable in the eyes of the law is completely secondary. The point is this in fact tells us what Haruka is going to do through the process of elimination. We know all the things Kotoko would do and one thing that she wouldn't.

She basically just tells us without telling us. Now one could debate that Kotoko wouldn't harm herself either. So, that could still be all Haruka is going to do. Yeah, that'd be reasonable but there's also foreshadowing of him being jealous of Yuno and under the belief that she is the audiences favorite out of their pair.

Or the one who wound up getting the most attention. Including parallels between their trial two songs.

I just want to be your good boy-I will keep on killing to be a good boy/Caressing me with your “Good girl”- Who needs your self-righteous pardon?

Like she has what he wants and he bluntly states in his second trial interrogation-

Q.20 Did you hate the person you killed?

Haruka: I wonder if I did. I was jealous of them.

Man I doubt Haruka would be jealous of the person who is right after him who has been innocent twice. It's not like he was already upset about the idea that the audience and Es would change his verdict this trial.

Meanwhile Yuno is over here like,

Yuno: They keep telling me what a good girl I am. How I've never done anything wrong and never could. Who needs that type of half-assed shit.

Haruka: *collapsed on the ground trying to reach a blunt object struggling for air* (It could have been me! I wanted to be the good one- I've been the good one! I've been practicing better communication and everything- She doesn't even want it!)

Yuno: Like really who do these people think they are? Who needs words like those filled to the brim with self-righteousness and demeaning assumptions. They're all so gross can't they just disappear. Innocent- Ugh, like shut up already nobody even asked for your opinion.

Haruka: *sustaining psychic damage on the ground sobbing* (SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANT IT SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW GOOD SHE HAS IT!)

Though he could end up attacking any of the innocent prisoners. It doesn't have to be Yuno. So thanks for telling us it's at least something you wouldn't do yourself that really narrows it down. It's either that or he's attacking Shidou or Kazui. Though Haruka does specify he can kill anything smaller than him in his second voice drama and Yuno fits the description best out of those who have been consistently innocent.

Q.16 Do you think there are the ‘weak’ among the other prisoners?

Kotoko: I’m sure there’s a lot. Those with weak wills will easily turn to evil. The only thing we can do is firmly instill the risk of turning to it.

So, the way this question was translated confused me and I ended up asking @doctorbunny what exactly was going on with it. This is what he said.

囚人の中に弱者いると思うか？ shuujin no naka ni (Amongst the prisoners) jakusha iru (there are weak people/'the weak') to omou ka? (do you think) aka Do you think any of the prisoners are weaklings?

A few questions ago Kotoko considered herself to be 強者/kyousha/a strong person

Q.14 Don’t you feel a sense of isolation in your current situation?

Kotoko: It feels like nothings changed. If the world gets even a little better just by me undertaking this isolation, then that is the role the strong play.

This was the conclusion from this exchange based on the answer provided.

Given that Kotoko stated she was sure there are a lot of weaklings amongst the prisoners. Then choose to elaborate stating that those with weak wills easily turn to evil. Causing the only thing we (in this case being Es and her the strong as she stated herself to be earlier in this interrogation) can only firmly instill the risk of turning to it.

This can only imply one thing that she punishes weaklings as well if they are at risk of turning to evil. Because she blatantly states that there are weaklings here within the prison and in her second trial song tells blatantly states that them still being here grates her and implies she'd like them to guilty. So, she recognizes they're weak and states that as why they turn to evil as well. So she's just saying the weak can be evil and deserve to be punished like anyone else to be dissuaded from doing evil.

People needing to be dissuaded from doing evil is a belief she was open about in her second voice drama Yonah.

"Es, look. Someone who committed a crime can only realise its severity through losing something. I've seen many criminals, but none of them would give way without pain." - "When a person who killed someone is met with violence, it's called "karmic retribution". Don't you have such a feeling?"

"If you sin, You need to do more than be atoned. It’s karma dude!"

This answer serves to further contextualize her second trial glitched voice line as well,

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing Earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

Kotoko basically came out and said the quiet part out loud. That she attacks weaklings too. At least if they're at risk of turning to evil or to dissuade them from it. Still given the phrasing of the question was difficult for me to grasp and I genuinely couldn't believe she would just say that I asked him to look into the answer too.

Again sorry Bunny for the inconvenience. At first, he came back with this,

たくさんいるでしょうね。takusan iru deshou ne. = There's a lot, [of prisoners who are weaklings] aren't there. 弱いではあぐ悪に転ぶ 。Yowai dewa agu(?) aku ni korobu. = 悪に転ぶリスクを不直え(??)付けるしかない。aku ni korobu risuku wo fu naoe tsukeru shikanai.

But ended up having to ask another party for help. Then came back with this later on.

OK so 囚人の中に弱者いると思うか？- shuujin no naka ni jakusha iru to omou ka? - Do you think any of the prisoners are weaklings? たくさんいるでしょうね。- takusan iru deshou ne - A lot of them are, aren't they. 弱い心はすぐ悪に転ぶ 。yowai kokoro wa sugu aku ni korobu - [people with] Weak minds/spirits readily turn to evil. 悪に転ぶリスクを植え付けるしかない - aku ni korobu risuku wo uetsukeru shikanai. - I have no choice but to instil the risks of turning to evil Weak one of these www

So, that's the full breakdown of that.

Personally, I'd interpret the question and answer this way given all this-

Q.16 Do you think there are weak people amongst the prisoners?

Kotoko: A lot of them are, aren't they? Weak minds easily turn to doing evil. I have no choice but to instill the risks of resorting to such things.

So, she is bluntly stating that she reprimands the weak too in order to make sure that they resort to evil as well. Which, um I've been bringing up this line a lot but- Here it goes again.

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing Earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

So, it's not this is even new either. She'll punish the weak too. Why else would she be yelling this at someone she considers a weakling? This isn't really a friendly thing to yell and she didn't sound friendly when she yelled it either. I'm glad she established that with very little prompting... The second statement didn't even pertain to the fucking question. She just added that second part on. Kotoko I said this for Mikoto before his trial but girl shut the fuck up. Learn to lie by omission better and on paper. You did not have to fucking write that girl you didn't specify what the fuck Haruka was planning you were pretty vague then.

Why didn't you keep that fucking energy? Nobody fucking asked for an elaboration. You could have kept it to a simple yeah some people here are weak. Listen not everything has to be more than one sentence start leaving shit blank, start scribbling on the page.

(Star here- I think she's trying to be personable in a similar way to how she's tried with Es in both her voice dramas. However, not only is it detrimental to her case as a whole, it also gives off a way different vibe when written down instead of spoken.)

What Star typed is incredibly fair. I Just find it a bit funny because Kotoko that wasn't the question. You didn't have to add that. All I can say is at least Kotoko tends to be honest. Sometimes too honest if she really doesn't think the topic of discussion or her beliefs on it are a problem. I'm just a bit flabbergasted. Like why I don't understand. Why say that?

I just... Do I really have to say anything else about this it kind of speaks for itself. Well that's really all I have to say on that situation and these questions. So, yeah if you made it this far thanks for reading this to the end. These are just my thoughts on this and I hope that even if you don't like them some of what's here can at least help you understand where I'm coming from.

#milgram #kotoko yuzuhira #yuzuriha kotoko

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

Omg I’m so happy you replied!! I definitely have more questions.

1. What Cillian character do you like writing about the most and why?

2. What story from your master list are you most proud of?

3. Do you personally have any fic recommendations/ must reads? Other sites included.

4. What gets you inspired to write? Following that question have you ever abandoned a fic?

5. What do you think made you a better writer? If you have any doubts about your work, how do you get past it enough to continue?

6. Is there a Cillian character that you just don’t like, or aren’t interested in watching/ writing about? (Sorry if that’s a loaded question)

omg thank u so much for this!!! i srsly love interacting w u guys, tysm for the thought provoking questions😄🙌

i think i like writing most about robert fischer:) ik it probably doesnt translate considering ive written most for jonathan crane but robert fischer is just such a little sweetheart to me,,, and can go both ways in being a sassy dom douchebag or being a sobbing daddy issues sub darling LOLLL i just think he has a lot of duality to delve into and develop (which ive definitely not done so far☠️) and it helps that his characterization in inception was also very surface level— i have a lot of wiggle room y’know??

i think im most proud of “dine & dash” which im aware probably no-one has read, but getting chris o’doyle’s sassy little dialogue down was like taming a wild beast,,, otherwise, considering my more well-known work, i rly liked writing “honey, i’m home”. i go crazy for the unhinged readers (if u couldnt alrdy tell lmaooo) and seeing jackson get messed with like that was a real treat.

i seriously just recommend anything by @mypoisonedvine,,, they’re literally genius & are the reason i started writing for cillian:)!! other mentions include kitten fics by @pictureinme and, a personal fave, @floralcyanidee’s jackson rippner mile-high club fic!!! these writers are all incredibly talented and im just blown away at their work every single time🫶

my thirst is such a big motivator for writing LMAO😭i wrote “guinea pig” ‘cus i wanted to absolute wreckkk jonathan crane and have him be a sub, and i got a 6.8k words long fic out of said thirst! music & book quotes motivate me a lot too— i spend sm time digging thru my pinterest for a good quote for the beginning of my fic its actually insane☠️and yes,,, im ashamed to say ive abandoned fics numerous times,,, but thats because they were series’, not oneshots. i get bored of series’ pretty quickly, ‘cause i feel kind of trapped by the initial dynamic or mood set in the first chapter. with oneshots, its like writing one long chapter of this trope and this kink or whatever and then its done, and i dont have to exhaust myself going back to tropes or kinks or storylines ive already done.

i think reading made me a better writer. expanding my vocabulary through the words of others was a biggie; seeing something be described in a certain way in someones story had me thinking of out-of-the-box ways to describe another thing (that doesn’t make much sense but lets pretend it does😭). i have many, many doubts about my work, like constantly, but i usually just suck it up. i sound like an attention whore but seeing the reposts & comments & tags on my other work reminds me people like what i’ve written before and certain people will enjoy what ive written now, so i should just finish my work for them. i also take like 100 years rereading my stuff until i think its good enough lmao,,,

ive kinda watched his whole roster of films (atleast ones i could actually find on the internet and not gone missing as a lost piece of media lmao) and i could probably write for any cillian character given i had a good idea and proper motivation. writing for certain characters is definitely harder for me to do though, so its likely i wont write for them/will take a long time to do so. an example is lenny miller— anna was such an insufferable movie to me, and lenny’s screentime wasn’t long at all, atleast not long enough for me to properly grasp his character. he just felt like a horny hardass fbi goof the whole time i could not take his 5’7 ass seriously😭cillian is smexy as hell in anna tho, so we’ll see😈another would probably be robert capa from sunshine,,, hes beautiful and deliciously musty in that but the whole spaceship setting kinda freaks me out (considering i know 0 zilch nada about space, spaceships, or anything of the sort, so it’d definitely be inaccurate). an au with him id definitely do, though! (with that hair of his my mind is already forming a 90s band au, guitarist!capa x singer!reader story…)

again thank u so much for these questions!! i feel like i rarely get to chat to u guys so this was well appreciated😄🫶thank you so much for reading, for sending these questions in, and for being an overall sweetheart, anon!

#burnyouwithacigarettelighter #long post

[fujowebdev]

✨Spotlight on Localhost HQ✨

Today we're here to tell you all about Localhost HQ, the first setting for the adventures of our protagonist (and fujoshi extraordinaire) Boba-tan.

Follow us under the cut to learn more about the #FujoGuide world and the amazing people that made it happen! And don't forget to back us on Kickstarter (and share this with your friends) so we can make this world a reality!

🏰 Localhost HQ 🏰

So, what is Localhost HQ? Well, we don't have—nor want!—all the details. The vaguer it is, the easier it adapts to any fanfic scenario. On the technical side, computers in a network use "localhost" to refer to themselves, for example to fetch a website they themselves host!

In the #FujoGuide world, Localhost HQ houses all programs that run on a user's own machine as part of the development workflow. Most importantly, the Terminal (a.k.a. Shell), but also programs like Git. In our version, Boba-tan has her very own (relatable) room within it.

🏰 Localhost Character 1: Boba-tan 🏰

Needing no introduction (ok, some introduction), Boba-tan is the author and protagonist of our zine. She was originally designed to serve as @bobaboard's own mascot by @essential-randomness, and brought to life by @ymske.

In our Kickstarter, you can see her all over the place, drawn by many different artists (some of which don't like the spotlight). For our character roster and avatar, she's been brought to life by @ikam177! Witness her in her full glory!

Want to know more about her? Well, she's the blankest slate of them all! Boba-tan is the quintessential fujoshi (or fujin, if you want), meant to embody the best quirks of transformative fandom folks: openness, enthusiasm, creativity, and heaps and heaps of thirst!

🏰 Localhost Character 2: Terminal 🏰

Is it Terminal or is it Shell? You too can now be part of one of programming's most pointless (and thus heated) debates.

Regardless of how you choose to refer to him, we all know who he actually is: the sexy live-in maid-pa of Localhost HQ.

Terminal is a powerful tool in the programming world, used to run other programs and orchestrate complex interactions between them. He also runs the show in the #FujoGuide world, and is able to quickly summon any local program, and to interact directly with the operating system.

(comic by @tempural)

Is there any limit to Terminal's powers? We don't know, actually, and we don’t want to know! Please play around with hi— I mean, it!

If you love his look (a powerful mix of Danny Trejo and Revolver Ocelot), you can thank—and follow—@mappapapa's incredible work! And if you've wondered what's on his apron...well, that's cowsay for you!

(Shhh don’t tell anyone about this still-unused version, with a terminal-looking eyepatch on his eye)

🏰Localhost Character 3: Git🏰

We've already spent a lot of time on our favorite catboy, but that's no reason to ignore him—not that he'd ever let us!

If you haven't yet, see him in action and learn all about him in our demo (link in the Kickstarter).

This time, the hard work of turning our technical and trope guidance into a bona-fide hottie comes from @brokemycrown—the master of sexiness who also helped us with the overall art direction!

(If you're wondering what the lines on his hoodie are, those are “git branches”.)

🏰 Localhost Character 4: GitHub 🏰

☁️ Cloud character 1: GitHub ☁️

Unlike Git, GitHub is not a program that runs in a "local environment"—that is, a developer's own computer. Instead, GitHub is a cloud-based service where programmers can upload their own "Git repositories" to share their code with other developers.

In the #FujoGuide world, characters like Git live in ~the cloud~, a network of data spawning around the world and a place we want to carefully avoid showing. In part, to keep an aura of mystery, and in part because mysterious places not well-defined in canon are fujin catnip.

So why is GitHub at Localhost HQ? Because Git is there, of course! The two share a powerful psychic connection. While Git hasn't yet accepted that they're meant to become one, that is not for lack of trying. Much to Terminal's chagrin, GitHub keeps teleporting to HQ, uninvited.

Once again, the amazing artist behind our favorite tentacled catboy is @brokemycrown. We'll probably keep shouting them out over and over again in these spotlights, so just go right ahead and follow them now.

(I'm sure you can appreciate the subtle character design cues here.)

...and that is all for the Localhost HQ spotlight! If you like the amazing work of our team, you can hire our artists and writers (and help us launch this project) by backing our Git Art/Fic tiers! You can also help us by reblogging this post and sharing our kickstarter link with friends, family, colleagues and Discord servers.

#fujoguide #git #github #codeblr #kickstarter #character design #spotlight

[mmescarlette]

Favorite Books Read in January 2023

Since I thought it might be fun to turn this blog into a space to talk about books I've read, here's a roundup of books I particularly liked this month! There may be spoilers for each so feel free to skip between the titles if you like.

The Heir and the Spare - Kate Stradling (personal rating: 4/5)

This was, in fact, the very first book I read this year, a straggler that I started on NYE but put aside so I could read it more at my leisure after my previous challenge was fulfilled, and I'm so glad I did! I SNAPPED this book up. I can't tell you a great deal of what it's about because I kind of liked going into it essentially blind, actually, but it is not a retelling (I somehow thought it was a Prince and the Pauper retelling which it clearly is not but I think that was purely based on the title and not, you know, facts) and it's at my perfect intersection of fantasy, which is the kind of low-stakes sword-and-sorcery tales that I generally tend to write myself.

I believe what I enjoyed and got out of this book most was that it forced me to confront my own relationship with suffering, much like Thorn did two years ago; tw for the main character going through some fairly intense emotional abuse, but for me as a reader, I found it more cathartic and able to make me understand myself more closely, and thus well worth the read for me in particular. I also LOVED the choice to have a second lead who is essentially antagonistic from the start, much in the vein of QoA which I am always weak for. I would say this is low on themes, but high on character work, so if you're looking for an introspective read this is a lovely choice!

The Stolen Heir - Holly Black (personal rating: 4.5/5)

Holly basically OWNS me at this point. There's a high likelihood just based on this book alone that this duology will capture me in its clutches even MORE than Folk of the Air could, simply based on the fact that I love the two leads (and Wren in particular) like there's no tomorrow. For one thing, I think it's such an interesting and quite frankly beautiful and touching change to have both the leads be so downright kind people to their core, as opposed to the chaos gremlins (affectionate) of the previous trilogy. But for another thing, the particular theme that my dash is sucking me into loving this year is that of shared history of love of all along between people, and I looove that is very present here! FotA was very much about learning to love but I'm pretty badly invested in how much this story leans on how to trust even when the love was already there.

The reality also of Wren being this bleeding heart being who will undo bonds and chains and ties simply because it's the right thing to do is something that makes me feel insane! Everything about Oak coming from a family he can never abandon or leave behind because he cherishes them so deeply makes me sob! The entire theme that lingers from it all being "I have never had the true luxury of being free in any way that matters to me so I have the compulsion to save every person I possibly can even if it is at great personal cost" is something that can be so personal and dear to me and I LOVE it so much.

(Also I had a great time wailing at Wren every time she talks about Jude to be like "JUDE WAS SORRY FOR YOU WREEEN SHE FREED YOU ON PURPOSE BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE BEING BOUND EITHER" and whilst I have no doubt there will be angry Jude in the next book I love that there's this tie of fae-nurtured human and raised-by-humans fae between the protagonist of both the series! There's so much richness of kindness in that dichotomy and I'm so intrigued about where she'll take it.)

Thirst - Mary Oliver (personal rating: 5/5)

I'm always on the hunt for more Mary books to read, and this one is a stirringly beautiful example of her work. Very few things have made me cry like the titular poem does.

Part of the reason why I glommed onto this book so much is because, at its heart, it is a book about grief; from what I can tell, this was Mary's first book she wrote after the death of her partner, and because of that it is so deeply infused through and through with love and light and sorrow and tenderness that it seems almost impossible that I, at least, could not love it. But perhaps more than anything, the reason why it struck me so much is because it filled me with that which I am most on the search for in my life right now, wonder.

Mary's work makes me see the stars, the sun and the moon and the sky, all whilst I'm tucked away in my house, in my reading chair at one in the morning without moving a muscle. It makes me glad to live, but more than that it gives me reason to live, that most tricky part of staying alive and being glad for it. She always finds a way to lead me back to the emotion I am best at and struggle most with, that of gratitude of being here and being well with what I am given, that even when the tossing and turning of life tears at my soul I can always say a prayer in thanks for it and find my way back to something simple and still and true, and that-- is always worth the effort for me.

And while that is me talking about her work at large, I will simply say, this book made me see the stars at night and the rosebuds in late spring and the shadows of the geese making their way across the fragile sky, and for that alone I love it dearly. Also The Messenger is only the poem I have in full pasted on my wall which to me is the biggest peer-review test of all.

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel (personal rating: 4/5)

A read that I embarked on because a dearly loved friend (hi Lu!!) adores this book, so I wanted to take a peek because the themes appealed to me. I'm a big lover of post-apocalyptic media that focuses in on what relationships look like between people in the aftermath and how often it is love, in the end. While this is not my favorite example of that particular genre, it is an extremely competent entry, and a good introduction if you're never dipped into the genre before.

Beautiful, dark, and luminous, Station Eleven is what I would call a slow amble through the book's contents. It neither tumbles you along with the impetus of its own story and pace (as a YA book does), nor does it urge you forward with the hastening steps of its plot that grow louder and louder over time (as speculative fiction often wants to do) but it is quiet, self-contained and self-possessed. From what I can gather, this is the kind of book that either resonates with you deeply, or doesn't whatsoever, but for me in particular I found it scattered with such moments of gentle beauty that made me have to close my eyes and hold them close to myself that I found it worth the read, despite the fact that it is also littered with enough violence and sorrow that it's not truly as comforting as I had expected it to be.

In its heart, this book is very simply about a girl who is part of a wandering troupe of actors in the world after an apocalyptic event whose life is shown in tandem and parallel to an actor who she worked with as a child; but it is also deeply about kindness, friendship, love and loss and the search for beauty when the surface of the earth has been so ravaged that it seems almost impossible that it could still be there. More than anything, Station Eleven is a book about care-- it's about Kirsten's care for her work, for her friends and the rare moments of beauty she carries about, it's about what goodness we can save and spare when all else is lost, it's about me weeping over the joy of electricity casting its light on the sky when that seems impossible. The longer I sit with it, the more I can find to love in it, because what lingers from this story is the love that stays within it through and through.

#reading tag #i also reread 84 charing cross which is a joy as always #read brine and bone which is probably my second favorite of kate's #i LOVED the choices made in the structure of that story so much; being a long-time lover of the original little mermaid #made it all that more precious to me #and i finally read beau brown which sadly i /liked/ but didn't /love/ #because it kind of stressed me out more than i was expecting to! #it lacked the whimsy that makes heyer so precious to me; so lots of the hijinks were just painful rather than humorous & that weighed on me #(whimsy being in the sense of being able to bear heavy things lightly; i'm not very good at defining what it means to me #but i don't mean it in a silly goofy way only; i think it has to have a component of making me laugh but also able to bear it you know?) #however i love the main couple! i think they're just so sweet and they clearly love each other in such a true friends way #and that's kind of the savior of the novel #anyway. i've trapped you all in here with me and i am now subjecting you to my reading life. ha HA!!!!

[lovecanbesostrange]

ooooh 1, 4 and 10 for the movie ask? please, ramble away! :)

In a film you like, what's a stupid decision in the narrative that you despise?

The first thing that comes to mind definitely is the ending of The Breakfast Club. I loooooooove that movie to bits. It's so good. And then Allison gets a make-over. Why? WHY? AND THEN THEY DO THE SAME THING IN THE FACULTY TO ME AGAIN WITH STOKELY!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh no, the loner girl wearing dark clothes found her flowery self and has a crush. She's fixed now. I'm not saying nobody could ever change their style. Claire and Allison could have played around with make-up, make it a two way street (or even include the whole group, playing with image and appearance). But the way it's only presented at the end is... evil

4. A film you agree is not "good", but holds special sentimental value. (Share the reason if you feel like it.)

hmmmmm... I enjoy a lot of "not good" films anyway. So, yeah, I do agree that Austin Powers in Goldmember wasn't anything we needed. The sequels can't compare to the first and while entertaining, I wouldn't call it good. Hardly recommend to anybody out of the blue. BUT I saw it in theatres back in the day with a friend from uni I rarely spend time with alone. It was one of the few occassions it was just us. In front of us two guys laughed when in the beginning the location plops up as "Utah" and so "Utah, ahahahaha" became a joke between us. I haven't talked to this person in well over ten years and I doubt we'll ever meet again. But this film is a cherished memory in that regard. (Well, she's also the one who sat next to me watching Brokeback Mountain, but that is a very good movie. XD )

It happens a lot. Films are more fun with other people around to share. Can't think of a better example right now, although I'm sure there's more. Especially films I liked as a kid and overlooked so many flaws. Wait, now I'm wondering if watching terrible, terrible films, because of that one acting face you enjoy, would fall under "sentimental value". This list would be so long. (Starting with the extra bad film Dark House.) Nah, that's a thirst thing, I guess...

10. A remake you wish would happent for whatever reason.

I desperately need somebody to take another look at Sucker Punch and make it the kick-ass bizarre adventure for bodily autonomy and independence it should be. So, whenever I hear people talking that movie is utter shit, I will disagree and point out the various great ideas and how complex the character connections can be. The moment fanboys come out of hiding calling it the one true feminist down-with-patriarchy film, I need to scream a lot.

Some say you either love or hate the movie, but I do neither. I'm exactly on the fence. And I think that's terrible, because that film could actually be pure greatness. We need to give it another shot and the script needs women to work with it. The camera needs an extra female lense. (I say that as a lesbian who is at times fed by the male gaze, ngl.) We need a better focus and the male characters can't be pulling all the strings and move the plot by mere existence (I get the women being dolls is a theme, but they need more clear agency and be the driving force).

The one thing that nobody should ever dispute though is the cast of this film. I don't know how to imrpove that in a remake.

#lizardthelizard #in the memetime #thanks for playing :3

[the-wizard-challenge]

The Wizard Challenge

If you're like me and you have both an unquenchable thirst for roleplaying games and executive dysfunction, then you might also find yourself in a similar headspace of getting distracted and not tackling tasks that are necessary for the average functional civilian.

So, I decided to use my favorite pastime (coming up with D&D characters that I'll never use) as a way to help me motivate myself and trick myself into adopting better habits and routines in the coming year.

I didn't make any major new years resolutions for 2023 other than "do the the damn thing," and generally get around to all the things I should get done. My mental illness often inhibits me from getting into the correct state of mind where I feel motivated enough to start something, much less finish it.

And then I got to thinking, what if I could give myself XP for actually finishing tasks I set out to do? What If I could fuel my motivation with my inherent desire for escapism?

As a millennial with mental illness, I've seen motivational plans and tips like this a hundred times before, and have always felt pretty meh about them or fallen off early. Since I thought of this concept, however, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. Might as well give it a shot!

I first turned to D&D 5e, the TTRPG system I'm most familiar with. It's easy to grasp, and there's tons of materials available online.

Then I started going down the rabbit hole that is creating a character concept, which is my favorite part of starting any game. But I also had to think of how I would apply my task management and routine-building.

I decided to pick a Wizard for my class. Because one of my general goals is to read more often, Wizard felt like a good option; any time I finish a book, I can treat it as a spell and add it to my wizard's spellbook.

I've been playing a lot of Potionomics and I adore the design for Luna, a moth girl with a talent for marketing. I picked Fairy for my wizard's ancestry, and got to work designing a moth-ish Wizard baby. Her name is Phalena, she enjoys green tea, and I'm aiming for her subclass to be Order of Scribes.

Then I sat down to think over how certain tasks and goals should be calculated in terms of experience. I didn't want to make things too easy on myself, so I factored in the idea that most D&D groups are about 4-6 players on average. I looked up some basic enemy stats for 5e (specifically, low CR enemies) and used that to build up my own system.

Basically, everyday tasks like doing laundry, washing dishes, or picking up groceries are equal to low-level monsters like zombies and skeletons (challenge rating 1/4). These are things that must be done, but can still be difficult to accomplish.

The total experience points awarded for defeating a zombie is 50 xp. As I said, though, you'll typically be playing D&D with at least 2 other people. Taking into account a 5-person party, that 50 xp is divided into 10 xp each.

Considering that the average time to actually start and finish one of these tasks is relatively low (15 to 30 minutes being the range), the trick that made the most sense to me was to take the total time in minutes it took to finish something and multiply it by 2 to get my total xp.

The original idea was to just multiply the minutes by 10, which would get me roughly around the average amount of xp in an encounter. For example, washing the dishes would be 150 xp. But if I'm trying to keep my numbers more in line with regular D&D sessions, that number would have to be split 5 ways to account for companions that I would surely need to overcome these encounters.

I mean, we all know how squishy wizards are. Let's be realistic.

So, the system became # of minutes a task takes to start and finish x 2. This also accounts for more arduous and draining tasks like studying or a workout session, which take longer, to have a proportional reward.

I'll be real right now: I haven't ironed out absolutely everything yet. I already have lots of ideas for other things I want to try. For example, I'm currently studying for specific certification that is in my field of work. Rather than just tallying up all experience points from studying sessions and taking the test, I also want to treat it like a side quest for a magic item - maybe a flying broomstick or an upgraded spellbook.

I also have thoughts about how rests should be treated, if I should think of those as self care activities. Maybe activities that I like that should be more moderated like playing video games can be seen as spell slots or once-per-long-rest abilities.

There's a lot of mechanics in 5e I could potentially incorporate other than just xp and new spells, but I feel like this is a good foundation for what I'm trying to do.

I also wanted to share this on Tumblr because I know there are others like me who may or may not find this interesting, and also 2023 is the year of the wizard as I understand it.

I want to be able to sketch my wizard and share her soon, but in the mean time I've already racked up some xp in the past couple days that I'm itchin to log.

#d&d #dnd #dnd oc #dnd ocs #d&d oc #d&d ocs #dungeons and dragons #dungeons & dragons #dnd 5e #5e #d&d 5e #wizard #year of the wizard #order of scribes #fairy

[honeykaes]

My Year on Tumblr

It's very crazy to say that I've been on this blog for now a year. I have so many positive memories and experiences on here, and for that I am sincerely thankful for each one of you.

I am also very appreciative and thankful for the mutuals I have made on here. I always look forward to your posts, chatting and joking around with you all on the dash and on discord servers.

This post is to help me look through a reflect, both the highs and lows on this blog and to give some insight on my time as a writer on here. If you're interested in learning more, read more under the cut. <3

𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

In one year I accumulated about 3.5k followers.

However, this number doesn't really matter much to me. The number that does matter is the about 15-30 people that are active on my blog, commenting, interacting, and joking around with me. Interactions from followers are a struggle almost all blogs on here. Many writers leave or stop their craft because of it and there were times I felt like that as well.

I want to urge my followers, both who are active and not, to really try interacting with your favorite writers. It helps. I read every comment and ask I receive, even if I may not answer it. I crack up hearing your thoughts about my headcanons, thirsts, and fics.

So those that did, thank you. You truly helped motivate me to stay writing on this platform and achieve that one year under my belt.

𝐓𝐨𝐩 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 (𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬)

Best Threesome Pairs - 6,499 notes - Aug 23 2021

I remember wanting to experiment a bit with my writing style for this. I wanted to test out different dynamics with two different characters, to see how it would be for the person they would be...doing activities with. I settled with these pairs because I felt like they would have cool dynamics with the reader and I think it paid off.

Looking back, I hate the color block and the theme lol. I was clearly still trying to figure myself out

2. 4NEMO Hc's - 4,772 notes - Aug 15 2021

I literally wrote these as soon as I figured out what 4NEMO was. I love idol/music au's so much so I wanted to try my shot at it. I hate how blocky this was because I didn't make the switch to bullet points yet so it is easier to digest for a reader and think it's pretty generic.

This is actually the last thing I really did for Aether because I started getting some hate for writing him lol. Maybe I'll go back to it in the future.

I also have to update this soon as Heizou is the newest addition!

3. Fantasy Hc's - 4,764 notes - Jun 25 2022

This completely blew up in my surprise. I actually wrote this as individual drabbles, but they weren't getting a lot of attention so I just added them to one post and sent it off.

It makes me think about the issues of thirsts vs headcanons. I really feel for people who write thirsts but they don't get attention because it isn't a "headcanon" as view as tumblr.

4. Creampie Hc's - 4,542 notes - Feb 4 2022

I was also very surprised that this blew up lol. These characters I didn't view as popular, but I still wanted to write because I wanted to do something new. For example, this was one of the first times I wrote about Itto too.

I also worry with creampie stuff because it's oversaturated and I think some of these scenarios are generic looking back, but I did have so much fun writing these. I was grinning like an idiot lol.

5. His Shrine Maiden - 4,265 notes - Feb 20 2022

Also shocked this blew up, especially as a full-length fic. I actually don't write a lot of fics because of the lack of interactions, so I was completely shocked by how this was perceived.

This was also my first yandere fic on this blog. I really enjoy yandere content, but I never feel like I nail it right which is why I avoided it for so long. This was me experimenting and playing around with it and I loved it.

Even when I was writing scenes, I had Genshin pulled up so I could describe it correctly. This fic had a lot of planning around it and took about 3 hours to finish, but I'm very happy with the results. This is also my most popular fic on AO3.

6. How You Know They're Gonna Cum - 4,216 notes - Aug 8 2021

I was really still trying to figure out my style at this point. I had been on this blog for just a week and didn't know how I wanted to format and needed to figure out my style.

I tried doing more characters with less blurbs. I think it worked well for this, but I like getting into descriptions more so this was the only time I really did it like this!

7. Giving Them a BJ - 3,565 notes - Oct 6 2021

I loved these banners. This was the first time I really tried doing cutter banners and I liked them a lot. Besides that, I really think these headcanons are subpar and reading back I think I've grown quite a bit and found my voice.

8. College HC's Part 3 - 3,142 notes - Sep 11 2021

Omg, I remember being so lazy with this. I didn't even add everyone's banner. I was frustrated because I didn't like anything I wrote at this point but would just publish because I knew I was being super hard on myself. It's also unusual that the third part got the most attention as it's usually the first or second that gains the most attention.

9. Losing No Nut November (Liyue) - 2,945 notes - Nov 11 2021

This was one of my most ambitious headcanons. I wrote every male character at the time that I wrote for. Trying to come up with 13+ scenarios, for these different characters really challenged me, but for the better. I am curious why the Liyue one got the most attention as I enjoyed writing Mondstadt the most.

10. Office Harem Part 1 - 2,933 notes - Sep 19 2021

Ah, my first au! I love this au so much. I just loved coming up with how all these characters would be trying to vy for the reader. I'm kinda sad I didn't do more with it, but it did inspire two other popular au's of mine--the tattoo shop au, and the casino harem au!

𝐌𝐲 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬

✦ his shrine maiden (ayato) - Feb 20, 2022

✦ basic? of course not! (kaeya +albedo) - Jan 12, 2022

✦ a samurai’s longing (kazuha) - Dec 4, 2021

✦ a golden springtime (zhongli) - April 2, 2022

✦ my heart (scaramouche) - Jan 28, 2022

✦ reunited (thoma) - Jan 12, 2022

✦ casino harem au - Feb 24, 2022

✦ tattoo-shop harem au - Jan 18, 2022

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐬

Although I want to highlight every mutual I have, I do want to give a shoutout to my closest ones that have made my tumblr experiences so much better:

@kreideprinzessin @xiaoslxt @scaranya @xialatvs

Thank you guys so much <3 from the bottom of my heart

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐊𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜

The future is bright. I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon! I have so many ideas and am looking forward to the next year with everyone.

Mwah Mwah, may you all have positive and amazing lives. I sincerely hope that myself and my writing can make your days that much better.

Cheers!

-Chai

[cottagewh0re-blogs]

BOOK REVIEW:

THIS SONG WAS ON REPEAT THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE REASING SESH.

Okay so after a week and staying up more late than necessary, i have finished the folk of the air trilogy by Holly Black.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS…

- STARTING WITH THE FIRST BOOK THE CRUEL PRINCE I GIVE IT A 5/5. The story and characters was enough to hook me in. I enjoyed the action, drama and although the romance was not massive i liked the subtle hints towards it.

- WITH THE SECOND BOOK I GIVE IT A 4/5. I enjoyed reading the process of not only acquiring power but retaining it. I believe this is the hardest part and it was shown throughout the story with betrayal and chaos. However, i did find Judes character less relatable or able to connect. This may be down to lack of character development but her thirst for power has clearly clouded her judgement leading to a lot of mistakes. I also wish she was grateful? It feels as if she’s constantly scraping for more which is of course a character flaw. This book definitely got me to appreciate Cardan more.

- THE THIRD BOOK QUEEN OF NOTHING I GIVE A 4.1/5. I think with the high demand and popularity the book was a little rushed? Scenes felt like they were going really fast (or maybe i was reading it so fast) . HOWEVER THIS WAS STILL VERY ENJOYABLE TO READ I ACTUALLY ENDED UP STAYING UP ALL NIGHT TO FINISH. I liked the action (although very packed) the ending it was very nice and cosy. It was an okay end to an amazing trilogy. I DO WISH A PART OF MADOC TRYING TO LIVE IN THE HUMAN WORLD WAS INCLUDED, i feel that would have been very entertaining. The book could have also made a few key moments MORE emotional? For example when cardan and jude saw each other after her exile OR WHEN SHE FINALLY CONFESSED HER LOVE??. I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THEM TWO ENDING TOGETHER AS IT FUELS THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS TROPE I LOVE SO MUCH.

Overall, being an YA book i was not expecting an intricate, quote analysing and spark notes session. It was an easy and interesting read that has an amazing story line, perfectly creating a magical feel. Looking at some reviews, i feel like some people took this book too deeply and forget that sometimes its nice to read a silly little fairy book that has no other meaning but to be enjoyed for its surface level.

The main rant:

This may be because i am a die hard enemies to lovers fan or the fact i wasn’t looking for a too complex story, but enough to grab my attention and do a bit of reality escaping. A book that perfectly captures drama, action and romance the typical YA mix. I really enjoyed the overall premises, i think Jude made an interesting character. Her difficulty in finding a place among the fey, to rising to power was a really fun journey to read. The idea of channeling hate into ambition for power was very cleverly done. “If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse” this follows the idea that if a child is outcasted from a village, they will be back to burn it. Although there is a lot of character development that is needed, for the first book AND YA that is an easy read, i love Judes character. I think a way we all want to be like jude, the mysterious and ‘badass’ heroin. Her character opens what happens when someone becomes so consumed in hate, the benefits and also the drawbacks. Although she has gained power, she has completely isolated herself as-well. In a way she licks her own wounds however, this story aims to show that a team (the shadow court) or a duo is much more better (her eventual rule with Cardan). Her continuous grasp for power is also overpowering her ability of common sense. In all honesty, out of the whole book i really love the court of shadows. Bomb, roach and ghost is by far an amazing trio. I loved the way they interacted together and with Jude. If a book was released on them three BEST BELIEVE ILL BE AT THE FRONT LINES. I FEEL THEY HAVE ALOT OF POTENTIAL TO BE AN INTERESTING SPIN OFF BUT I MAY BE ON MY OWN HERE. Now to the juicy part the romance with cardan and jude. AT FIRST THIS DID NOT FEEL VERY ROMANTIC I EVEN ASKED MYSELF WHY DO YOU EVEN LIKE HIM??? But in the last book when she talks about NOT HIS LOOKS BUT HIS CHARACTERISTICS THAT MADE HER FALL I WAS LIKE AHH i think Cardan is who she would like to be and Jude is who cardan would like to be. THUS, COMPLETING EACH OTHER PERFECTLY. THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS WAS AMAZING IT WAS DEFINITELY SLOW BUT IT WAS THERE AND HEAVILY HINTED. By far this quote “Have i told you how hideous you look tonight?” AND WE KNOW HE CANT LIE SO WHEN HE SAYS “I cant” this was making me scream (internally). Although id say, there romance could have been developed ALOT BETTER it was still enjoyable. I think the eventual acceptance of how you feel taking off your armour was a nice message. HONOURABLE MENTION TO LOCKE(lowkey reminded me of loki) IS “Because youre like a story that hasnt happened yet. Because i want to see what you will do. I want to be part of the unfolding tale” something about this flows so well and is so beautifully said? Im not sure but this really sticks out to me.

Unpopular opinion:

Although Madoc is portrayed as the villain. He only wanted to give his family power?? and although his method was HORRIBLE he in his mind had a good cause? Idk i just couldnt be angry at him regardless what he did BECAUSE IF WE LOOK AT THE STORY FROM HIS POV JUDE IS THE VILLAIN AND SHE POISONED HIM.

#jude x cardan #cardanandjude #the cruel prince #the wicked king #queen of nothing #jude duarte #madoc #locke #book ramblings #booklover #book review #rant #holly black #enemies to lovers #Spotify

[tradgediesofthehosts]

Updated lore, All characters with abilities, and Announcement

Sorry I failed to keep the promise of posting when party pack 9 got out. To make up for it, I’ll post a new list of all of the characters and their abilities but first, I should also get into the other types of abilities. Keep in mind it also has stuff to do with genetics, not everyone can develop an ability in this au.

Tragedies (T) are curses or magic that are a result of trauma. For example, if someone was nearly drowned, the can develop water breathing. Once someone develops a tragedy, the can’t give rid of it.

Comedies (C) are blessings or magic that developed as a result of life changing events. Being accepted into your dream college can grant you the ability to read books without opening them.

Sins (S) have nothing to do with religion (religion doesn’t really exist anyway?) they are abilities that are gained by doing horrible acts, the one thing all of these have in common is those with sins gain immortality, so they can't die of old age or natural causes, however they can still die. Sins also tends to corrupt an individual, but having a support system prevents that for the most part.

Blessings (B) are rewards or a result of a deal. 

Lores (L) are abilities that are learned or developed via scientific means

Hearts (H) are abilites that are biological or with in bloodline. they can also be recieve when someone get’s reincarnated or revived

Mechanics (M) are mainly exclusive to robots, but they’re abilities built with technology

Objectal (O) abilities used via object like a pocket watch

Hopefully that explained them well enough, I’ll list the character’s and their abilites. 

You don’t know jack series pre jackbox

Nate Shapiro-Incubus-he/him-gay

H-Charm (mind control basically)

Buzz Lipman-Changeling-he/they-aroace

C- Improv (If needed, can create the perfect sentence for whatever situation he’s in, sadly they suck at using it)

H-Shape shift (as long as it’s a humanoid form)

Helen-human-she/her-lesbian

L-Curse sight (can see whatever curse someone has and imeadieatly how to accommodate)

Guy-half giant-he/him-questioning

H-Height(can change height to a minimum of 5′6 and a maximum of 8′1)

Cookie Masterson-human?-he/him-bisexual

T-Botany(ability to grow and control plants, gained after accidentally eating a poisonous plant )

L-Taxidermy(ability to control dead animals), Resurrection (bring people back from the dead)

Schimitty-half human, half quip- he/him- bisexual

L-Quiplash (ability to turn into a quip), Resurrection

Jackbox Party pack 1

Drawful host-air siren-she/they-Asexual

H-Charm, flight

L-Doodle (Doodle’s come to life)

Jackbox party pack 2

Motherboard-robot-any-aroace

M-Audio (can change what sound is being played, organic and inorganic, within a certain distance. For example, with in 15 feet, he can make a cat meowing sound like a bear)

The Quips/ all of the quips

L-Quiplash (however they’re mainly stuck in their quip form)

Jackbox Party Pack 3

[REDACTED]-Mostly Human with demon lineage-He/They- arospec Homosexual

T-Blood lust (the insatiable thirst for murder once activated) Super Natural Madness (ability to see ghosts)

H-Dark portal (ability to use the darkness as a portal) Soul controlcability to control souls, anyone who is related to demons can do this)

S-Fear mongering (the ability to feed off of fear)

L-Resurrection, Sew bending (ability to control anything associated with sewing)

Toby-half human half ghost-he/him-queer

T-Ghostshift (he is stuck between the lines of being alive and being dead, and can easily shift anyone and himself between the two), bloodlust

Alan-human-he/him-straight

L-Resurrection

M-Spy(he can retrieve any information)

Tee KO dragon- Dragon- mainly he/they - unlabled

L-Sewbending (however a different variant, he can summon tee shirts at will)

Jackbox Party Pack 4

Felica-eldritch queen (or at least eldritch)- she/her-pansexual

T-Lovesick (if any mortal she’s in a relationship with see’s her true form, the relationship will be destroyed in one way or another)

L-Cupid(Boosts relationships between others), Love reader(can figure out information about others that have something to do with romance or sexuality)

Todd-internet demon-he/him-questioning

M-Troll break (can break an internet troll’s computer’s and sanity within seconds)

Party Pack 5

Mayonaise-genetically modified cat- he/him- unlabeled

L-Shapeshift

Binjpipe-AI-she/her-Asexual 

M-Algorithm(ability to create copies of people based on their internet usage)

“Cookie”-Rouge AI-all pronouns- AroAce

M-Algorithm, project(ability to project images as a hologram, used when he hosted Champed Up)

Party pack 6

Gracion (aka the nerd)-human-he/they-asexual homoromantic

T-trivial recall(ability to recall any trivia, [REDACTED] had to implement a rule for him so everyone else had a chance to win), super natural madness 

Detective Chambers-human-she/her-unlabeled

T-Clue seek(ability to discover very specific facts and details about a criminal when investigating, however when used too much, the facts get twisted and less logical, sometimes even untrue)

Dr.Ro-quip-she/her-bisexual

L-quiplash, persona (ability to detect personalities)

Dictionarium host-angel-she/they-demisexual panromantic

C-Word(ability bend words and gibberish at will)

T-Stone(ability to turn into stone)

Party pack 7

The demons from DATD-demons

H-soul control

Party pack 8

Laverne Caverne- undead spirit -she/her - pansexual

S-monster breath(prolongs periods being near her turns you into a monster)

T-Honesty (forces people to tell the truth, was developed after being killed during the Salem witch trials, God damn it Abigail Williams)

M.Bubz-aquatic-parasite possessing a water dispenser- they/them-aro ace

H-Possess (ability to control anything, in this case, a water dispenser)

THE WHEEL OF EPIC PROPORTIONS-god of trivia and luck- it/it’s - unlabeled

H-SPIIIIINNNNN (ability to answer questions when spun with consent)

Lord Tippet- human - he/him - straight

T-Blood lust

O-Time loop (ability to create a time loop in a certain area, requires a pocket watch)

Lady Raven - demonic humanoid- she/her - bisexual

T-Bloodlust, dark portal, wilt (creates a path of dead plants when walking on them)

H-Soul control

L-Ink flow (ability to control ink), Crow’s call (ability to summon a murder of crows), cryptid language (able to decipher any non-mortal language at will)

S-corruption (ability to corrupt others without anyone realizing it), fear mongering

All weapons drawn player characters-human

T:Blood lust, inkflow

Party Pack 9

Cookie ai - ai - it’s/it - ehhhhhhh

M-Algorithm

Professor Naners- monkey - she/her -unlabled

L-Nonsense (ability to work with anything nonsense)

Roomerang host(forgot their name)-human-any pronouns- gay

T-Abstract reality cable to create a mini abstract pocket dimension)

Junktopia wizard- humanoid - he/him - straight

L-frogification (can turn people into frogs, spite being a wizard, this is the only one he fully mastered)

Original Characters and their involvement of their story

Axen- aquatic siren - he/him - gay

Importance: Trivia murder party survivor, Murder Hotel employee, related to the mermaid meeple

H-Charm, water breathing

T-Siren’s call (ability to lure people their deaths or away from him for defense)

Elizabeth - human with elf ears - he/him - asexual biromantic

Importance: Murder hotel employee

B-secret truth(ability to find out any form of truth or secret, but can not explain it out loud, it’s a family blessing that has been around longer than the blood lust curse)

Jax- formally human, now fire element- they/them - queer

Importance: Murder hotel employee, basically [REDACTED]’s adoptive son

T-Phoenix (ability to control fire and fire resistance), bloodlust

Stora-demon-she/they- asexual

Importance: Closely connected with [REDACTED]’s family, murder hotel employee 

H-soul control, galactics (ability to create a small window to space)

Author-mostly human with angel lineage- he/him - gay

Importance:[REDACTED]’s boyfriend (more on him next week)

S- Regenerate (is able to regenerate and quickly heal any injury, however can’t feel anything other than pain, but they’re extremely muted in comparison to a normal person feeling the same amount of pain)

Now time for the announcement, I will be trying to post something on here weekly, key word try. School is very chaotic, so bare with me. Next week will be about Author, the week after that will be an updated post about the murder hotel employees. Hopefully I can also work on a webcomic as well, if that’ the case, it’ll be posted monthly to give me time to do stuff. Anyway have a good day peeps.

#jackbox au #jackbox games oc #You Don't Know Jack #Jackbox Games #trivia murder party #trivia murder party 2 #quiplash #weapons drawn

[lizzybeth1986]

I’ve just dived into your perfect match posts, specifically the ones about the different dialogue for the various Haydens. Holy crap, PB put so much coding behind those and yet these days they can’t handle more than one meaningful romance route at a time, or get a GoC characters pronouns right.

Also I am just amazed at the depth you’ve explored some of these stories……wow!!!

Thank you Anon! I'm so glad to see my Hayden Young Project posts are still helpful, almost 4 years after I put it up! At the time I had planned an essay series to go with it, but I was too drained by the time I finished uploading all the screenshots to continue. Maybe one day...

But yes. Hayden was such a perfect example of customization done with purpose and thought towards the differences, while still giving the character itself a strong default core. No matter which trait/personality type you went for, there were certain things without which Hayden would never be Hayden: their questions about life, their thirst for knowledge, their fierce protectiveness, their desire to make sense of themselves and the world around them. They went through so much growth over the course of those two books.

Even so, in the larger fandom that effort and care for characterization was often ignored. More often than not, when PM was still playing, readers would find excuses to hate on Hayden and pretend they had no value. They spoke of Hayden as if they were an object, they hated on Hayden for normal emotional reactions - while their favourite Damien was hailed for his "incredible growth" even though we never once saw him apologize to the people he hurt - and even after the books ended, I would often see posts about how Hayden is "whiny" (fandom loved to wave around the "he's traumatized!" card for Damien yet waved away the abuse Eros had done on Hayden and the hostility they constantly faced like it was nothing). In fact, the whole reason I started the Hayden Young Project in the first place was because several stans (specially Damien stans) were lying notstop about how Hayden didn't have that many variations beyond the first few chapters.

For a character that really was crafted with a lot of care, the fandom clearly seemed reluctant to show any appreciation. And it's a pattern I see with a lot of the early customizable characters. They are far more easily written off as bland and boring and devoid of any development, meanwhile default white/exoticizable brown mains who get hundreds of diamond scenes yet still stangnate as characters - because their writers don't want to admit to their flaws - are hailed as the best written characters ever.

I definitely agree with your point about the current state of characterization in PB! (though a lot of my info is secondhand, so don't blindly believe me on this). I sometimes have a term for the way PB uses customization now - "bandaid customization". It has struck me, ever since I saw the note (post-BLM statement) from the company, as well as their one-year-later update, that they believe making their single main LI customizable is enough. But that doesn't allow for the character themself to explore aspects of their story related to gender or race (eg: TNA with an f!Sam skips over certain things related to sexism, that should affect her, but doesn't really) because the writers themselves seem unable to move out of the headspace that the "default" is definitely white and mostly male. And this is at a time when they prove that they KNOW how to change dialogue to reflect race or gender (eg. The D&D MC's responses to Luke when they discuss his father, or to Hamid when the two speak about racism). So you can get a black character, you can get a female character to romance...but it won't count for much. Because it's a lot more likely the writer is seeing a white and male main when they're penning the lines, and it shows...now more than ever.

Did these problems exist with the early customizables? Yes, definitely. But there was still a little more care and purpose to the way they were written, and not all the advancements PB has the ability to code in now were there before.

I call the currect state of customizable characterization "bandaid" because the company views this specifically as a solution for the lack of race representation, yet it really doesn't solve the core problem. But I may be wrong, and the new books that I haven't heard much about, could be better in this respect.

To go back to the subject of Hayden - not only was the PM team consistent about divergences in traits, but they also did the same for their different skills (polyglot, animal lover, music, massage). I found a number of incredible and really fun scenes that replaced a skill scene - my favourite one being Sloane trying to liven up our first real visit to their house with "baby-shower games" in PM1 Ch7 instead of us playing with Dipper 😄 Oh Sloane. You're such a treasure 💖

I just found the way they built Hayden so fascinating, and I wanted to share it with the fandom too...whether most of them wanted to admit to the value of such a character or not.

I definitely will try to get that essay series done, someday. Thanks so much once again, anon!

#long post #ask me #ask lizzy #perfect match #hayden young

[fearthecoldblood]

20. Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

In first place is (of course) Gehrman, The First Hunter.

I was tempted to choose another character instead because I write about him a lot, alas, there’s no denying he’s my absolute favourite! From Bloodborne’s canon lore to the fandom’s differing interpretations, there is one constant: Gehrman’s character is in no way surface level. He is a multidimensional character with a distinctive set of ideals, personality, an incredible backstory and (my personal favourite) a tragic fate. Whether your interpretation/opinion of him as a person is positive/negative, there is no denying that he is a marvellous example of Fromsoft’s storytelling and character development.

I’ve also always been a sucker for a tragic hero (see the next entry!). A man with a stained record and bloodied hands yet accepts his own suffering to prevent another from succumbing to his same fate? In my opinion, he’s a great example of that trope.

I could go on and on about him but for the purpose of this ask I’ll give you a break! :)

The fictional character that takes second place is Erwin Smith from Attack on Titan.

As a teenager, Attack on Titan had a massive hold on me. From its challenging, morbid themes to its distinctive art style (both manga and anime), it left a strong impression on my media preferences. I immediately read every novel slice of information from official announcements to fan theories, fanfiction etc. My interest did wane at a certain point in time. I personally believe it was when the anime took a massive break, I believe of about around 3-4 years. The manga did satiate my thirst for content at first but I became busy with exams, life issues and soon forgot about it. Fandom drama played another small role and I unfortunately allowed it to sully my view of the entire series. I’ve started catching up on the anime with my boyfriend recently and I’ve been reminded of why I adored the series: the characters.

I’ll end this rant and discuss the actual character!

Erwin Smith.

I won’t spoil too much here incase anyone hasn’t caught up/wishes to watch/read AoT in future.

Another tragic hero, aka the trope that I love so much. I immediately found myself drawn to the mysterious commander that pushed through all forms of suffering to achieve his goals, even if it meant sacrificing the lives of those that trusted him the most. He had to compete with attacks from all angles: the state, other military factions, and even those in his inner circle. I particularly enjoyed the close, emotive relationships he had with those closest to him: Levi Ackerman, Hangë Zoe amongst many others. A steadfast character, loyal to humanity, willing to pay the highest price in his quest for knowledge, salvation and most importantly: freedom. I roleplayed him on different sites for about four years (including tumblr) which means he’s probably my longest standing canon muse. Perhaps I’ll get back into writing him at some point but for now I’ll spare myself the sadness!

I really had to sit and think about the final character but I finally settled on Sasazuka from Collar x Malice.

An odd choice, I know! I’ve not discussed my love for otome games on this blog but they’re one of my favourite video game genres. Once again, I’ll give a very basic character description because Collar x Malice is entirely built around its story, notably its infamous plot twists and character arcs.

Sasazuka immediately stood out to me, and I swiftly formed an opinion: I despised the man. He was rude, patronising, and cold to Ichika. At around 5’4”, he fit into the foul-mouthed angry short character trope which I do unfortunately dislike. However, when I arrived at his route I began to see cracks in this facade of his, understanding his nature alongside Collar x Malice’s unravelling plot line. Many people dislike him as a character and I really didn’t see myself liking him at first. He was an angry, rude man- not very appetising. However, he did grow on me! Each of CxM’s 5 routes are incredible so it’s only natural that I’d love his as well!

It was tough to choose only three characters but I hope you enjoyed reading my 1am rant!

#supppeeerrrr late response but here it is! #it was so difficult to narrow it down

[thedeepweb]

mista or kars for the character bingo?

obsessed with the creator putting their url TWICE in this ok lets go

mista

i think mista is truly just some dude (also lol 4 spots). on his own i dont think he's gonna do much, i like him as a balance between his flashier teammates. for fandom i don't understand the thirst after him bc he's just some dude but then again i understand the people that want him bc he's just some dude

kars

my king 💜

he's done soooo dirty by fans it's insane. he's a perfect example of chaotic evil and yet in fandom he's like some cishet dom it's so sad to see. well i guess it's prone to that misinterpretation because a lot of people suck at dnd alignments but that's a rant for another day

well back to him i think he's really cool. yeah he kills and openly lies and manipulates but first, a girlboss (gender neutral) has to do what she has to to build her fempire, and second, it's very hard to think low of him when his oponent is joseph. he just wanted to erase his one race's weakness and live with his husband and alienated sons, everyone is so pro complex characters until it's a happily married couple where one wears a loincloth 🤨

well thats it ^_^

[lindajenni]

feb 7

reignite your passion for Jesus

"nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love." rev 2:4

do you have a passion for God? in other words, is God your first love? having passion for God means that every molecule of our being is drawn to God and given up to Him. as water and air are essential for sustaining life, so God and His presence are for having wholeness in life. genuine believers will have an unprecedented hunger and thirst for God and His blessings, His graciousness and supernatural activities in their lives. when we stop having that hunger and thirst for God, there is a gradual spiritual debility. therefore we must protect our lives, so that nothing would diminish our love and passion for God.

psalm 42 begins with a verse that may be familiar to you, “as the deer pants for the water… so my soul pants for you.” for some reason, i always pictured that deer standing at the water. it has been thirsty, but now it’s about to drink. i even created my version of that once. but that’s not the image at all. the psalmist (and the deer) are still far from water. that’s why the spiritual throat is parched. the psalmist cries out, “when shall i come and appear before God?” God seems far away and there seems no soon-coming satisfaction for a parched soul.

scripture often describes our longing for God as a deep hunger or thirst. hunger and thirst are basic drives in our bodies, and there is also a hunger and thirst of the soul. this fallen world, with its fallen people, can never satisfy our fallen selves. but we keep going back to it, as if it can. we set our sights on the objects of a thousand different desires, none of which give us the lasting pleasure we long for.

we long for God’s Word, that truth which is an extension of Himself that clarifies and explains, and shows us life as it really is, not as it is constantly misperceived. the world, with its sin and shallowness, leaves a sour taste in our mouths, but there is an eternal sweetness to God’s word.

like eating good food and exercising regularly, if we develop the holy habit of daily meditating on scripture, we will deeply appreciate it, realize our need for it, and miss it acutely whenever we’re away from it too long. if you’re not craving God’s Word, you’ve forgotten what you’re missing — or perhaps you’ve never known.

that is why God may allow deficiency, disease, or depression to come into our lives; to drive us to crave a closer relationship to Him. for example, when satisfaction and purpose are missing from our lives and we are deficient in these qualities it is God’s way of helping us crave Him. God is what we really need! when something in our life is out of place, when our relationships are hurting, or when there is a sense of dis-ease in our heart, it is God showing us that He is what we need. and when we are discouraged or depressed, when life has let us down, it is God showing us that He is the only one who can truly satisfy. He wants us to crave Him more than anything else in life!

we sinners who would have been consumed by the burning holiness of God will be transformed into righteous people with the moral character of Christ, so that we can see God face to face, gazing upon Him with sheer delight. never again will we withdraw from Him, nor He from us.

when we see Him with our resurrected eyes, we will realize that all our lives, as we went down every dead end street pursuing what we thought we wanted, it was really Him we were searching for, longing for. and Him alone that could ever satisfy us.

let your tears be your food day and night, saying all day long, “where is the Lord God of elijah?” 2 kings 2:14 "as for me, i will see Your face in righteousness; i shall be satisfied when i awake in Your likeness." psa 17:15 then and only then will my needs be quenched.

#prayer #faith #rapture #jesus #jesus is coming

[lindacuriosidad]

I wrote a story... 👀😯🧐

Chapter 1: The video recording. The video recording was done out of malicious intentions. Then it became fear of it being shown to the right person.

It's still a missing puzzle of how the two came to contact but here's what I got.

[Example of the characters names] Masculine#(1/2)

Feminine

Karmic M/F Friend#(1-4 etc etc)

Karmic Lover (M/F)

Karmic (insignificant factor) lol

A feminine was betrayed by two masculies that she was very much interested. In the same way that she has been betrayed in the past with KP

KL#1 and KFF#1. Except this time it played out with more emotional betrayal than the first time. The first past betrayal was accepted as a thirst for sexual satisfactions. however the second betrayal was done to make a mock out of the feminine and to remind her that she ain't shit. This is why the sex tape was made.

Feminines kff#1 slept with feminines masculine#1 however masculine#1 was also in relations with kff#2. Kff#2 is unaware of kff#1 and M#1 and that they talk but most def does not know that they have a video tape together. Within time that will also be revealed to her and on the day the lies spoken of the feminine to her will be dismissed of her having an opinion on this feminines choices.

Kff#1 does this out of a secretive delusional theory. They truly believe that they are a better catch than all women around them bc they can seduce immature minded men into having sexual relations with them that confirms this delusion for them. They are also very jealous of not having the attention on them of a man thy find attractive. They get a hunger of redirecting their bates attention to themselves regardless of who this individual is dating and is a professional at assuring herself by learning the best way to approach a man to let their guard down enough so she can seduce him into her reassurance.

However, she grew feeling for m#1 an wanted m#1 to choose her. Fake smiled Infront of feminines face and backstabbed her to win the m#1 at all costs because this new bate is going to be hers no matter what. She refused to loose him to other females. Except m#1 was just using her for the information she was giving, the dirty deeds she was willing Todo for him, the sex, and the drugs. Because m#1 showed to not care she focused on her initial relationship and convinced those around her she was happy because she wanted to be but low key wanted to make m#1 jealous for choosing to live his life with another female and ent the feminine and kff#2.

Upon recently the truth began to leak out and that leak cracked open a spill that she was not ever ready to be unleashed because she has created a false image of herself. This false image is her armour from her ugly truths being exposed to others as well as her self remorse. This is how she also protects herself from fully caring of the pain she will inflict on those she loves and continue to feed her hungry delusion.

Anyway because the truth is being revealed she is in a state of paranoia and anger and if she's gonna go down she is taking everyone with her. She's in panic alert and acting out of fear and control. She believes that she will win by exposing the he truth now. The truth will always set you free. But the lies will be the label of your character.

#fake story #fictional