#everyone else needs to suffer too

[dollypopup]

I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.

So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.

But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.

No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.

Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.

Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.

Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.

You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.

After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.

Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.

And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.

The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.

And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.

When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.

God this couple is so fucking good.

#polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #Bridgerton #i love them #but honestly? i think i read too deeply into them #this is the only post about them i'll keep up #but after everything i've seen in this fandom and the promos and the synopsis- i don't think these two are friends #and i think i have given them more nuance and depth than they actually will get #and so i guess they're my dream #this version of them #the version of them that loves each other deeply and sees one another and has tenderness for each other #but everyone else in the fandom was right- we won't get this #we will get penelope needing external validation through the ton's opinion and we won't get colin being a full character #we will get a story based on suffering and holding scorecards against each other #we will get groveling and cold shoulders and drama in place of real growth #i suppose it's just sad for me #because i read so much of what i've thought of these two and i *see* the love i have for them #but bton and this fandom don't have that same love #so i have to let go of that dream #and that's for the best #but as a memento: have this #i've written a lot of love letters to this pairing- consider this one of them

[mewtwo24]

I just started reading the svsss volumes (and re-read them again because A LOT IS GOING ON) but like. This shit is so hysterically funny I don't even know where to begin.

Was no one????? Going to tell me that one of the cornerstone jokes in the damn series is that lbh's adoration for his one and only 'tism person who literally cannot express his emotions to save his life is basically genetic?????????

Was no one???? No one AT ALL going to tell me that Mobei-Jun straight up yeets Airplane at the problem in one of the scenes?????? And that in the most hilarious twist of fate Airplane then unyeets Mobei-Jun not twenty minutes later?????

It's one thing to see people joke about sqq and lbh being unable to communicate but it's on a league of its own when you have to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of sqq's inner monologue be like 'that's my darling boy. my baby. my sugar plum pumpy umpkin you're my sweetie pie' but on the outside he says "get lost binghe" and somehow deems that an effective expression of his affection that lbh will surely understand. 'Why is lbh whining and crying and tugging at my sleeve like a plaintive wife, why is he so angry?' Sqq asks, the entire circus, as lbh is about to fling himself off a cliff for attention--

In short, MXTX is the queer comedian of our generation and nobody appreciates her enough

#svsss #bingqiu #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #mxtx what must it be like to carry the gays on your shoulders like this #she ran so that the rest of us could walk oh my actual god #i just can't get over how much of the novels are sqq panicking because he needs to 'do right' by lbh #aka make lbh the absolute lunatic from the original #so its just this uproarious back and forth between a guy trying to make a bbg desperate for his love into a human weapon #AND make himself disappear before that weapon is turned on him (also probably the self-hatred talking) #amazing showstopping spectacular **slaps sqq's back** you can fit so many repressed internalizations of toxic masculinity in this mf #legit as i read these volumes i just kept thinking of that meme like 'congrats sqq buddy that's the worst anyone's ever done it' (joke) #not that lbh is any better but in fairness the lad is going through a lot too so i spare him too harsh a judgement #also sincerely i dont think i was prepared for just how stupid how crazy lbh goes for sqq. it was. MAGNIFICENT #I was like 'surely he isn't that dramatic' and then by god everyone. by god I started reading and went #'jesus christ that's a nuclear missile shaped little meow meow and that's HILARIOUS' #i also just can't get over sqq insisting 'IM NOT GAY. I DONT GAY. IM THE STRAIGHTEST STRAIGHT!!!!' #while. literally. saying full stop to lbh of like 'wym i smile more genuinely at everyone else they're just scarecrows around me' #sqq--the man who couldn't bear to see lbh suffering as a young boy. #who was so affected he was crying in his sleep and calling out lbh's name over and over #ON WHAT LEVEL IS THAT HETEROSEXUAL SQQ. THE JIG IS UP #literally EVERYONE around sqq being like 'congrats on being the last to know' about his love for lbh #and can we talk about sqq being like 'we used to communicate so seamlessly that we had no need for words. there was no greater joy for me.' #and highlighting that though gongyi xiao was a similar and talented young lad he fell decidedly short because he did not have above quality #and then sqq still being in denial; i swear i LOVE the little hints mxtx drops i feel like the happiest mouse scampering around for crumbs #additionally a question: how does anyone take liu qingge seriously #when he's displeased he just yells 'HEY' and does nothing about it (most times) #that is the most boomer dad energy i think i've ever seen #also :(((((((( all the jokes about tianlang-jun (though accurate) were so deceptive my heart was broken at the end of vol.3

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

i can't believe i come back momentarily from the dead and it's with more cancerous memes. Two versions bc god had other plans, none which included not having both of these.

#hand jumper #juni chang #ishaan cha #where my juni enjoyers at #did i ever mention i was the qpr ishjun guy i probably should've hung that up in a sign as a warning in advance #i don't f around with these bros they're my little guys they're the scunkledoodles #they're everything and i'll actually fight you on them if i see something egregious or slanderous of them #they're my children they're my little DSM-5 case studies they're my little sillies i keep in the petri dish #whether they beat each other up or talk crap is up to sleepacross tho they my only hope #the fp got me acting up i'm on the delulu cocaina i need to be shot #shot down or shot dead pick one just PLEASE end my suffering #WHO IS THE CELL 3 MENTOR JUST END MY SUFFERING INSTEAD OF HOLDING CELL 3 CRUMBS OVER MY HEAD #AND IF ONLY JUNI IS OVERSEEING THEM OR THEY'RE GOING IN UNSUPERVISED I'LL EXPLODE #STRAIGHT UP. #SHOOT ME DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH #sighs #i could've been simping over that one panel of sayeon like everyone else #not the mirror one or the sayjin flirting kismesis ass vacillating btw #you guys should fp just try it i swear you won't regret it #use the magical powers..... #share the burden......... #i as your personal demon that makes rounds around your head approve of this please #consider throwing some coins or 28 for even more brainrot i'm like dying in a corner and WILL die in a corner waiting for tuesday #also i have testing next week too i think hj is just cursed like that #we love to see it though

[backpackingspace]

Okay but yin yu needs a raise this yin yu is overworked that. Where is the Ling wen needs a raise content

#Tgcf #Yin yu #ling wen #I do love the idea that yin yu has a great employment plan he's just long suffering and #If he's too busy working than he doesn't need to feel things ever #Obviously hua cheng probably bullied him and definitely made him transcribe his diary bc #“What if his highness wants to read it one day yin yu this is important yin yu” #But he also seems like the person who understands very well that money talks #And that an employee who is comfortable is much less likely to betray you #Meanwhile Ling wen is dealing with some bullshit 24/7 #She's not being paid half the other gods never wrote out reports everyone is sexist she hasn't slept in 3 years #Jun wu calls her into his office twice a day to make her scribe his evil plans (tm) #She's tried she's overworked literally xie lian is the only who's ever said thank you to her ever #Yin yu gets invited to the overworked employees club for drinks (idk who else would be there besides Ling wen but let's imagine that there #Everybody complaining/screaming/wishing for death bc they're so tired #Yin yu: Oh I think there's been a mistake I actually have great benefits #Ling wen considers homicide and defecting right there and then #Idk why I'm trying to push the Ling wen yin yu friends agenda but here we are

[aq2003]

series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems

#dr who #i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life #they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different #like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him #even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT. #but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously #and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show #but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying #the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like #having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy #but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat #i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room #series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short. #i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all #she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving #and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think #it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent #martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME. #anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak #series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2. #even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao #ten and martha #10 era

[neonbuck]

got cut off my health insurance with no warning but i dont have the energy to ask for help anymore. im just gonna deal and try to draw faster and better so i can afford to get back on it/pay premiums

#.txt #too many people need help most of my friends are also suffering #people are dying people are starving and everyone who has the power to stop it doesnt care or enjoys killing people #theres zero fucking hope in this damn earth and im just alive to pathetically attempt to care for my loved ones #and anyone else i can possibly help in any way #its so over lol its so BEYOND fucking over #just look at the last thing i reblogged #can you look me in the eye and tell me with a straight face that things wont just keep spiraling into hell #can you look me in the eye and tell me you truly believe that 'voting' does anything or that there will be a 'revolution' #its NOT happening and you know it. convince me otherwise i dare you. you wont. #everyone is either too tired or too selfish and cowardly #and its too fucking late. the cruelty and pain and injustice has torn a mortal wound in the earth itself #its OVER. and everyone with a heart is slowly bleeding out.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Ah. "Animals rights" bullshit okay. Being animals that are not obligate herbivores and eating the flesh of other animals because of it is "oppressing" non-human animals. And they called out my comparing it to anti-choicers because "murder is different than death" okay well anti-choicers think abortion is murder. I don't happen to consider a human killing an animal for food murder any more than I consider an animal killing another animal for food murder, especially when as you pointed out yourself some people can't survive without meat.

Or is it a contract killing/hit on every animal You've ever eaten to survive? Are you just not a murderer because you paid not to get your hands dirty?

Like yeah it's fucking NATURAL. Humans aren't some wondrous ascended beings that don't crawl through the dirt. We fuck and fight and survive and yes, part of that survival for many is KILLING.

And it's good that you don't think people should be forced onto veganism because that would be as bad as the people who want to force all animals to eat synthetic meat and hunt via robots or whatever but my gods can you imagine telling someone who has been a vegetarian by choice for years for animal WELFARE purposes (not rights) who is vegan for disability reasons that they are "justifying the oppression of animals" and "killing animals for food is murder" when you literally can't go vegan for health reasons yourself? Okay murderer. Guess your life matters more than those oppressed animals.

Like sorry I'm going full "you're an asshole and I despise you and I'm genuinely sorry for myself that I thought we could be friends".

Like yeah the anti-choicer metaphor wasn't perfect. But it also got you to cut right to the heart of the matter. You are so divorced from humans as part of the ecosystem and food chain you genuinely believe we have some moral duty to not kill animals (but only animals, not plants or fungi, which are also living and have some measure of sentience) and to hold ourselves separate from the biosphere to the greatest extent possible.

That's just ecofascism 101. Are we gonna do the "any form of hunting or land management, even responsibly by indigenous stewards using traditional practices is bad" next? Or are we gonna avoid that one because you hopefully know better than THAT and simply think that removing humans from ONLY one part of the consumptive chain is ✨different✨?

For reference:

Also where does "choosing to die" come in to this? I wasn't talking about euthanasia, I was talking about withdrawing the life support provided by a human body if the owner of that body stops consenting to providing it, therefore depriving a fetus dependent on that life support for survival of said survival. I'm pretty sure the fetus doesn't have a choice in the matter. (Whether or not it's "alive" doesn't have much to do with anything since it's been made pretty clear that medical autonomy in terms of mandated use of your body's parts or resources is unethical at ANY point. Even if you ARE killing it, we've determined that's the most ethical option.)

Also if we're going to make bullshit oppression claims why don't we talk about transspecies people who are obligate carnivores?

#literally I'm not a fucking legalist but no I don't believe murder in the sense of nonconsensual killing is always wrong #like self defense. hello. #like maybe my moral system is just built different but to call it oppression and make me out to be some kind of bigot? #come on. that's bullshit and you know it. #we're literally not talking about rights being taken away. also this is why animal welfare is such a better concept than animal rights #stop anthropomorphizing animals!! stop treating them like furry humans that can't speak!! #literally somehow both a veganism centrist and an 'animal rights' person at once #go yell at people for literally having a moral-spiritual belief system that encompasses eating animals as neutral somewhere else #oh and btw don't EVER fucking moralize any kind of food related consumption around me again that goes for everyone #meat is neutral. sugar is neutral. artificial sweeteners are neutral. preservatives are neutral. plants are neutral. fish are neutral. etc #some of these may be unhealthy for a given individual and their production under capitalism may be fucking harmful #but conceptually they are neutral and there are ways of making them physically so by changing the harmful systems #you can keep feeling bad about your oppression of poor animals or w/e. or maybe you don't feel bad idk #I happen to find that far more harmful than humans who want or need to eat meat - doing so - will ever be #thanks for the mask off moment where you decided it was actually okay to moralize food and survival #I'm so happy to say goodbye forever #(note: if you know who this is don't fucking harass them. I have them blocked and am being a bit nasty *bc* they can't see it) #(I don't want them to suffer. I just think they're a monumental asshole. gods know I'm one too.) #(let people be assholes 2k23 lol)

[foolishnpd]

everyone else needs to stop having Problems and Emotions of their own so they can have more time dedicated to paying attention to meeeeeeeee

#lilyroaring #npd safe #actually npd #everyone needs to get their shit together for my sake #why can't everyone else be as good as me when it comes to suppressing everything #like lmao just stop having issues???? it's not that hard. follow my example #so much of my life is spent catering to the problems and emotions of others #but I'm always the perfect little doll who suppresses them #and it's really getting unfair #I think it's time for payback #I give so much of my time and attention to others #shouldn't I get the same? #I want a return on my investment #it's not so demanding to want attention is it? #I just want my loved ones to actually care about me for once #I spend so much energy caring about them after all #THEY should suppress their baggage for ME #I need to be catered to and loved and praised and everyone's too busy suffering to do that for me 😔

[mihai-florescu]

I need enstars to be over because i need to know what akira's plan for himeru is so so badly (cue eichi's quote about asking an author how they plan to end their tale is poor manners). I can imagine various ways in which id consider his arc completed but there are too many variables that can change...

#i think i just need to go to sleep #ive just been thinking about the doomed by the narrative trope. and kaname. and himeru. and im listening to Im Alive from next to normal #to be fair what i consider a satisfying ending for me personally would probably be terrible for everyone else #ive been thinking about oremeru getting attacked by an obsessive fan paralleling what kaname's mom did to akehoshi papa #kaname's interest in being and idol starts with her. a lot of the plot starts with her actions actually. #idk...i just like the idea of the idol himeru being doomed from the start. oremeru takes over but it doesnt change much #and it all starts because of kaname's mom's actions #but do i think enstars is gonna kill off or get rid of a major character? no. they need to make money #im sure there are other ways to end his arc i just like violence. but is it not the whole point of enstars that you can rewrite your- #narrative? #so then giving himeru a chace of a happy ending would be good in itself too. he doesnt have to suffer #oremeru took on his brother's persona and incolved himself in the story. what would be more satisfying? #i leave it as an open question cuz iiii dont think i was too coherent and im curious how other people hope for himeru's arc to end like #he still is the most interesting alkakurei member to me. do you see kaname waking up? would that make for a good story? #dont think subjectively cuz you like the character please. i am curious what you think would make for the best story

[talentforlying]

LET ME ASSIGN YOU AN AESTHETIC WORD.

CAFUNÉ. cafuné means running your fingers through someone's- perhaps a lover, hair. it's such an intimate, affectionate way of showing love. if you got this result, you're a romantic at heart; very sweet, delicate, precious wandering soul. aren't you scared of your heart being too big for your body? somehow, you remind me of that pretty coral pink that bleeds into a soft indigo when the sun is slowly setting.

what i'd like to tell you is that we can't save everyone, and that's okay. you're doing your best, and it's enough.

tagged by: @danversiism!! <3 tagging: you!!

#there's literally a post at the top of my drafts Right Now talking about how much of a romantic he actually is #under all the sarcasm and bullshit he's a genuine fucking softie. he Craves love. he gives it away freely. #cafuné specifically makes me think of when he first got back together with kit ryan #and one of the first things they did as a couple was stay in bed together for 3 days. didn't leave the flat #just had nothing more important in the world than being with each other and that's how he is in MOST relationships motherfuckers!!! #justice league dark's womanizing dickhead has rotted people's brains!! commitment issues my ass this man WANTS to settle down!!!! #anyway. VERY passionate about this if you can't already tell #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN. #( dash games. ) ALRIGHT YOU OVERGROWN LARPERS! HERE! #idk it's always 'wrecked-looking husk of a man' THIS and 'wall-licking little cryptid' THAT and 'where's that gif of matt ryan in leather' #NAH MAN. bring me the guy who spent almost a full fucking day at the shops trying to find kit the perfect christmas present!! #bring me the guy who took a depressed god out to share a coffee bc the god just looked Too Fucking Sad to leave alone!! #bring me the guy who started singing the beatles in the bar & got everyone else to join in just bc someone seemed to need a leg up!! #where is the man who took abby arcane out dancing!! tucked her in!! bought her breakfast in the morning!! all because she seemed lonely!! #that's this motherfucker!!!!!! #and yeah he is ALSO a wrecked-looking husk of a cryptid who ROCKS a bit of leather but that other guy is still in there too!!!!! #idk. IDK. i feel many things about constantine's softness always being cut away by the sharp edges of his tongue and his suffering #40th birthday party constantine lives rent-free in my skull forever and you can never take him away from me

[piived]

thought about David Wymack for too long and now I’m emotionally compromised in a Walmart parking lot

#he is both Father and Mother and I would do Anything for that man #he took in the kids who had nothing and gave them all something to hold on to #he would do anything for them because no one else has ever cared #he treats them as human beings but more than that he treats them as the kids they never got to be #he cares so much and watches as they get beaten down by the world around them and sometimes by themselves #he had to grieve seth and try to hold the rest of them together #he had a son that grew up in Hell without him knowing #the kid who everyone calls Monster is the product of the abuse he’s suffered and Wymack wants to hit something thinking about it #he takes in a family to keep them together and maybe even help them heal #he aches to help but knows he can’t get too close or risk driving them further away #this kid comes along and somehow manages to glue them all together in a way that Wymack always dreamed of happening but never imagined could #and then he has to watch him come back with more scars than anyone should bear and a contract for his life #but somehow it’s the best case scenario and Wymack doesn’t have to bury any more kids #the relief and the pain that Neil Josten brings to his life is insane and he is never letting this kid go #i’m going to throw up #there’s more of course but i am Unwell and need to lay down forever #aftg #vee’s soapbox

[star-ocean-peahen]

im watching atla with my grandma and it is very much up her alley which is very cute. i think her favorite part is whenever momo does something funny because she smiles the most.

#i did have the passing thought #that maybe the show depicting chinese-inspired villages being invaded by a japanese-inspired army might be. not the greatest choice for us. #but honestly it wouldnt bother her shes a veeeeeeery tough and easygoing person #it did make me upset again at the remake though #because the original show feels like everyone else matters too #they meet so many refugees on the run and towns that are occupied and villages being menaced #the war isnt just a good backdrop for cool fights between the heroes and villains. its a blight on the lives of everyone who lives in this #world. #and the remake seems to be very much “everyone not in the main cast is an npc” (see: watching the genocide of the air nomads happen in the #first twenty minutes of the first episode) #and that feels. personal now. #bc my grandma hid from japanese soldiers. my great grandma risked her life transporting materials for explosives so she #could feed her family #they are people with personhood and individuality who didnt fight in wwii but their stories still matter #and atla feels like its validating that because it says that war affects everyone and the people who suffer from it the most are the ones #who need to have their voices heard #not just the people with the biggest capacity to cause change #so the remake throwing that away just to have more cool action scenes. leaves a bad taste in my mouth. #atla #atla remake salt #atla live action salt #atla salt

[hauntingblue]

LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!

#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭 #MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too??? #NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!! #yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything... #i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE???? #is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!! #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1070 #i am smiling so hard rn. contagious #also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success.... #THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying #you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it #hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy #THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!! #the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE #this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!! #they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????! #episode 1071 #momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!! #the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this... #we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members #law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses.. #nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!! #wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk #THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING #FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!! #NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!! #episode 1072

[bylertruther]

me when season five airs and The Big Reveals are mike's sexuality and will's love for mike bc mike has always known he's loved will but he hasn't always been comfortable with his sexuality and will has always known what he is but he didn't always know that what he felt for mike was that kind of love until it was already too late and thus the source of his pain has been jealousy + unrequited love

#mike said 'it's not my fault you don't like girls' and 'did you think /i/ would never get a girlfriend?' and joyce said she was so proud of #will's rainbow rocket ship and jonathan told will he'd always love him no matter what and to please talk to him if he needs to and the #party has always heard what people call will and loved him anyway no matter what and will has generally always had people in his corner #to support him that have literally endangered themselves and almost died for him and some people STILLLLLL think that HIS plot is abt #/focused on coming out n being generally accepted for being gay. like we didn't see that his entire s4 plot was abt his feelings for mike #specifically not his feelings for men in general. #UNLIKE MIKE who was fiercely devoted to will from the get-go but suddenly pushed him away n projected his internalized homophobia #and shame bestowed upon him by society onto will who wasn't even fucking talking about THAT thank u very much and who has been #battling being a freak loser (aka himself) vs conforming to what everyone else wants him to be (wearing mommy's clothes; impressing #other people by getting not just a girlfriend but a SUPERHERO girlfriend) and who in the season where he says he doesn't want to be #popular and where the person he looks up to talks abt nonconformity and mentions sodomy in relation 2 dnd etc etc they make HIS plot #focus on how he CAN'T SAY I LOVE YOU TO HIS GIRLFRIEND IN A ROMANTIC CONTEXT until HIS BEST FRIEND confesses his feelings #and it moves him enough to then make him say it to el when his bestie tells him to. like. literally how much more clear does it need 2 be #MIKE is the one that has BEEENNNNN vying for acceptance and self-worth and battling shame #WILL has been the one that has Known what he is and suffered bc he thought mike was that too n obviously felt hurt by mike replacing him #with el n ignoring him altogether aka 'you're destroying everything and for what? so you can swap spit with some stupid girl?' #like am i the weird one or does mike's 3984093 weird projecting statements after s2 vs will being jealous of el not make this super clear #will HAS ALWAYS HAD ppl to accept him n love him for who he is. the party + his family are right there for him to go home to after being #bullied. it's scary and a part of his story yes undoubtedly but it is not The High Point. and mike has always been crazy for will but #that doesn't mean he's accepted it or thinks others will accept it. #but anyway. im normal i did not write an entire essay in the tags bc i am normal

[ambivalentmarvel]

just went through the main azula tags i have to write more wtr the economy is in fucking shambles

#insert eggman WHAT ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING TALKING ABOUT #it's fine that people can be wrong. also though i may have to kill something. #YOU DON'T KNOW HER LIKE I KNOW HER #zuko too actually but he has enough people clamoring to understand his annoying ass #love him so bad. #however #if i see another zuko centric work where everyone else but especially women are written badly for his plot development #i am going to have to metaphorically heft my nail studded baseball bat #gonna literally do that too actually #writing fic isn't enough i need a weapon #ambivalentmarvel #a:tla #no actually i'm gonna add more tags bc now i'm mad #ppl are in my comments being like poor zuko and YEAH he is for sure suffering #but he did kill a 12 year old so the scale has to balance #HE'S FINEEEE IT'S FOR PLOT DEVELOPMENT #blah blah blah he's tormented by visions aren't we all #besides #we have not yet maxed out on waterboarding zuzu with guilt. give him time. #spoiler incoming for future chaps. don't look at the rest of the tags if you don't wanna see. #(insert image of azula standing under a piano dangling by a rope) #my little imperialists will fight tooth and fucking nail for their happy ending

[solitarelee]

me every single day: i don't really wanna go to class today i don't really wanna go to class today i don't really wanna go to class today--

#solitaretalk #some days i worry that i am physically and mentally incapable of holding down a full time job #i'm banking everything on the concept that eventually you adjust #my problem is the damn transitions. i need to get better at them #class is only 2h of my day but class days feel like 'class days' and i struggle to get anything else done #but with only 2 classes there's not enough schoolwork to fill my day #mmmmmph. >:| #i'll get the hang of it #this was my problem with work too but the thing is. the thing is #my only experience with working in a school full time was literally the worst possible situation #everyone was depressed and hated their jobs. everyone was suffering. we were understaffed. #the classroom sizes were huge. the students were between unruly and actively violent. #i'm willing to bet korean schools will be much more calm... i can't imagine korean students acting like american ones tbh #this isn't to glorify or fetishize korean culture of w/e ppl accuse me of doing every time i mention another culture it's just. fact. #i'm not sure ANYWHERE on the planet is quite like american schools