#ever wanted to be a laptop

[laurents-secret-diary]

oh damen we're really in it now.mp4

#captive prince #damen #damianos of akielos #damen of akielos #kings rising #prince's gambit #ITS HIM ITS MY GUY #also can i just say #i know i made him blush in the rip pitcher sketch because thats the correct interpretation of that scene. cuz he saw his thighs #but can we all agree that those must be the palest pastiest legs a man has ever put in direct sunlight #diogenes said to plato “this is a man” about that peeled chicken because he mistook it for Laurent in a chiton #i bet he burns like a lobster #you leave him in direct sunlight for too long and he starts heaving like an office laptop from 2016 booting up Baldurs Gate 3 #i am still in the middle of book 3 and when i tell you i am in DIRE NEED OF SOME LAURENT POV DECRIPTIONS OF DAMEN #TELL ME HOW LOVELY HE IS I NEED YOUR PASTY ASS TO SAY IT #I want to hear those rapid fire thoughts because you just know he is extinguishing them like summertime mosquitos #if the govart dies chapter is anything to go by #damen oh damen you really thought ancel was gonna shove that stick up his ass during that one performance. i love you. #you are THE funniest motherfucker in that book and your obsession with that blue eyed featherless biped only adds to it #who drops a pitcher when they see a white boy approach #god out of fear maybe #i would never live it down straight up never #that memory instantly became damen's dark horse in the championships for the most embarrassing shit that he will think about in bed at nigh #caprisun

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Seasons 1-3 » T-shirts

#Ted Lasso #Theodore Lasso #Jason Sudeikis #*mine: gif #tedlassoedit #ugh you idiot with that face #stop staring at me swan #I think I got all the T-shirt moments for Ted. Can you guess the two scenes I forgot and had to go back and add??? #I've also kept these in order of season/episode appearance and it feels kind of telling #not quite sure how I'm feeling about these and how they turned out #these are all from 2160p video files (I've only worked with 2160 one other time) and the timing of these frames looks off #I did my best to fix and readjust them #to the 5 to 8 people that read these tags let me know if I should keep trying/working with 2160p or just stick with 1080p #can we see a major difference in the image quality? I'm using all my same edit settings here #@chainofclovers I saw your tags about the black Joe Arthur shirt I was/have been thinking the same thing #I'm glad I got my o.g. laptop to power up to finish this gifset (definitely a power button issue) #will I ever make that mirror gifset idea??? probably not but I got a couple of mirror moments here #I almost used the other mirror moment from episode 7 but I wanted a different angle/view #this gifset could've been a lot more of Ted in bed wearing T-shirts tbh #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ghostlyheart]

Coffee and you

Maggie and Nina in Good Omens Season 2

#good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #maggie/nina #vinylatte #wlwsource #there comes a special time in every young girl's life where she slams her laptop shut and gives up on trying to achieve consistent coloring #such a magical day #this is the hardest thing I've ever tried it took me like. 5 days #my problem is that when I start a new hobby I want to be good right away rather than going through the process of actually learning #but doing this taught me a lot!! it's not perfect but I'm glad I did it anyway #also if anyone can tell me the source of that quote I would be eternally grateful I cannot find it ANYWHERE other than tumblr #it's a very Tumblr quote but maggie and nina's relationship is deliciously tropey in such a fun way I felt like it fit #ghostlygifs

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

Happy 12 years of Lab Rats ❤️🐀🎂

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] 🎊 15 🎊 [16]

#I'm posting this with one hour left of the 27th but hey it still counts 😩 #I wanted to post this at midnight last night but with the whole update fiasco with my laptop and then having a busy day at school- #I ran out of time. I wish I could have done more for today :[ At least most of these textposts are some of my favorite ones I've ever made! #disney lab rats #lab rats #lab rats bionic island #leo dooley #adam davenport #bree davenport #chase davenport #spike davenport #lab rats spike #marcus davenport #donald davenport #terry perry #victor krane #sebastian krane

[mspaint-flower]

opinions on the updated windows 11 version of ms paint

oh that is......................

#asks #i don't. like it #i've seen it on my brother's school laptop and i didn't even want to try it #i hope someone out there somehow has the old windows 10 one available to download #just in case i'm ever forced to use windows 11 #but yeah like. it just. doesn't appeal to me it feels too modern #they stripped everything that made ms paint comfortable for me #and also somewhat nostalgic #also the ai stuff.............just no....😭😭

[running-in-the-dark]

okay, Flynn fangirling over Darrington Dare might be the cutest thing ever

#the librarians #flynn carsen #noah wyle #like awww. he's obsessed with him 😌 I can relate #I'm not the biggest Flynn fan but he is adorable in this episode #also. that Darrington guy has the nicest arm hair I've ever seen. yeah I don't know either. it just looks really fluffy okay. #and. he is tall and kinda cute. and he is standing next to Jake. soo they are in love 🤷 #also also. Jake. I see you not rolling up your sleeves. that's highly unusual. hmm is someone insecure about his lack of fluffy arm hair? #sorry one day I will stop talking about how creepy the smoothness of his forearms is to me. but today is not that day. #it's just so funny I'm sorry #he could just stop shaving them (or whatever). then I'd stop talking about it. so. not my fault 🤷 #also Cassandra looks adorable in this scene so I didn't want to crop her out #and! I'm looking at this on my phone now and it's really really funny how pink my edits made his cheeks look. they were fine on my #laptop but tbh it's even funnier like this

[mo-ok]

red boys?????????? red boys 😌😌😌😌

#sentai #go onger #hurricaneger #zyuohger #liveman #carranger #kakuranger #gingaman #super sentaisuke #everyone is here. it counts. sentaisuke+ #to no ones suprise its all birds cars and ninjas #and ryouma lmao hi ryouma #i love him so so much but like fuck man if i ever have to draw his outfit again i'm going to chew my laptop charger in half #every time i look at yusuke i want to grab his cheeks and shake him violently #would he like it?????? probably not but i imagine he'd put up with it for at least a few seconds #been doing a lot of full body/pose practice by drawing their ending dances #the two here are not an accurate reflection of just how many i've drawn lmao #finally drew sasuke in the pants. also decided he needed a crop top its an actual crime that he doesnt have a crop top #yusuke takes one look at him and just breaks down into tears #red racer + speedor crossover plot nonsense pls enjoy #kuru kuru doru doru engine magic if you will #i'm in my red period. picassoing up in this bitch #2023 art tag

[pissfaggit]

Okay I'm ready now

#its not perfect but im done workinf on it #idk. is this good? idk it was supposed to be funny but idk #and goes without saying ill have to wait a few years until im ready to listen to this song again lolll #i am having so much fun making these though. really this is the dream ive wanted to make amvs since i was like 12 but i never had the means #well actually i made one when i was like 13 but that's it. back when you could download shit off youtube for free #i downloaded so many clips of jean havoc onto my dads laptop lol. i wonder if he ever found them. it was his work laptop too tehee #farscape #farscape john #john crichton #farscape scorpius #johnscorpy? jorpy? do they even have an official name loll #suckers and fuckers? #amv #sir i protest i am not a merry man

[ice-sculptures]

BENVI MOMENTS THAT LIVE RENT FREE IN MY MIND: 1/?

#never have i ever #nhie #nhieedit #devi vishwakumar #ben gross #ben x devi #benviedit #userjake #userleila #otpsource #cinemapix #cinematv #benvimoments #myedit #hi spencer if you're seeing this i initially wanted to do the moment you mentioned but then i found this scene and could not resist #once i get my laptop back i'll make your scene i promise

[cerise-on-top]

Haiii! I love your work :D

Could you possibly do a gaz x reader? When him and reader are celebrating their anniversary:), that would be really cute :’))

Hello! Thank you, I hope this is enjoyable as well! I went with a more fluffy route this time, I just wanna see Gaz happy and healthy and as far aways from any and all danger as possible! This request was really cute, I love Gaz! I'm glad there are several of us who do! Though I think I went a bit overboard with this, but how could I not when people are requesting best boi!

Celebrating Your Anniversary with Gaz

For the sake of this request, we’re gonna go with the idea that Gaz was able to be with you during your anniversary and didn’t end up being somewhere in the world, having to fight tooth and nail for his survival. We’re gonna go the fluffy route with this!

His memory is really good, Gaz would never forget something as important as your anniversary. Doesn’t matter if you’re together, doesn’t matter if you’re married. He has it memorized, he wrote it down on his phone, he noted it on several loose papers lying around just about anywhere. Trust me when I say he’s the last person to ever forget something like this. Although he would appreciate it if you remembered as well, he’d probably love it even more if, just once, you forgot about your anniversary, that way he could properly surprise and absolutely spoil you rotten. He wants to make your anniversaries days you can remember, so he will tailor them to your liking. You like going to arcades or amusement parks? A bookshop date? You just wanna go to McDonald’s? It’s all yours, and don’t you dare even think about paying, your wallet will not be strained on such a holy and sublime day.

The day would start off simple. You’d sleep in, if you can, cuddling for as long as possible, until one of you needs to get up for whatever reason. He’ll nuzzle into you, holding you as close to him as possible. He wants you to feel his warmth, how alive you make him feel, he wants you to feel how his heart beats for you and only you. Gaz has a beautiful voice, it’s fairly low and very calming to listen to. He’d hum your favorite tune that’s a bit calmer. He wants you to be as relaxed for him as possible, maybe even fall asleep in his arms again, even if he definitely wouldn’t mind you staying up to chat a bit with him as well. He’s gonna be all over you, making sure to touch you wherever he can so you feel secure with him. And when you’re drifting off to sleep again, that’s when his plan begins.

Gaz will plant a kiss on your neck or your forehead, whatever he can reach as he excuses himself to the bathroom. However, this sly dog will actually head for the kitchen to make you some breakfast. He’s a good cook, so whatever it is you like, he’ll make it. French toast? Scrambled eggs? Eggs and bacon? Your wish is his command, even if you never uttered a single order. He just hopes you won’t wake up or, even if you do, will at the very least stay in bed. This breakfast isn’t for you to enjoy in the kitchen or the living room, you’re to eat it in your bed. He even got you a nice tray so he can carry it to you without making a mess. Orange juice and all. You will be spoiled.

It’s then that he’ll wake you with another soft kiss to your temple, maybe shaking you awake a bit, so you can enjoy your breakfast together. Might even feed you a bit, just to be embarrassingly cute while he’s at it. The more content you look, the better. Afterwards, he’ll leave for the kitchen again, putting the tray away and decorating the living room a bit. There will be the most gorgeous roses you’ve ever seen in a vase, alongside several other flowers, each of which tells of a different kind of adoration. And when you finally follow suit and spot the flowers, he’ll just smile and claim that they looked very pretty. If you understand flower language, then you can tell he just really wanted to say he loved you in as many different ways as he could.

It’s then that he’ll ask you to get ready for the day, to brush your teeth and hair, and put on some clothes. You don’t need to look particularly fancy, he wants you to be as comfortable as you could possibly be. This is when he’ll take you to a place you like which, as mentioned before, could be just about anything. Waterpark, roller skate rink or just a lovely walk in the park, he’s open for everything. You will be accommodated accordingly. Those places are where you’ll be spending the majority of your day, grabbing something simple to eat for the time being, such as some fries or maybe some toast at a good cafe or pub.

When day meets night, he’ll take your hand in his, taking you to a fancy restaurant you’ve been to a few times. Preferably one where the both of you can look down at the city and see all the beautiful lights it has to offer. You’ll spend another two hours or so there. At the very least, you’ll be there until it gets dark, eating good food, having a good drink, maybe some wine as well. It doesn’t matter what you choose, all Gaz wants is to see the twinkling city lights dance in your eyes afterwards. When the evening is starting to roll over into night, he’ll take you to a ferris wheel. A big one where you can see the entire city from.

He’ll watch you as you excitedly look everywhere, taking in as many sights as you can, hoping that the ferris wheel stops at just the right time. Ideally, that would be right at the top. But he won’t be too picky if it’s somewhat to the side as well. As long as he gets to see your mouth agape at all the pretty lights, he’s content. While the ferris wheel stops, he’ll shoot his shot. If you’ve been together for a few years but aren’t married yet, he’ll propose to you. If you’re already married, he’ll still get down on one knee, take your hand in his and kiss its back tenderly, like a knight in shining armor. It’s embarrassingly sweet, but he knows no one but you is going to see it, so he does it anyway. You’re royalty in his eyes, you’re his to protect and care for, and he needs to show his loyalty however he can. Once he’s done kissing your hand, he’ll get up, holding your hand still and pulling you up with him, just so he can hold you close once again. Another tender kiss to your lips, and then he’ll get out a small box. Either the proposal ring or, if you’re married already, he’ll gift you a lovely little necklace made of pure silver. Something you can wear that will always remind you of him.

Once you’re down on the ground again, he’ll take your hand in his and lead you home, conversing with you about how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you in his life and how he hopes he gets to spend many, many more years like that with you.

If it’s not too late yet, you might watch a movie and cuddle on the couch. But you’ll likely both be tuckered out after today and just snuggle up in bed, ready for the next day.

And this is how Gaz’ ideal anniversary would go.

#cod #cod x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #I wish I could gift Gaz a small music box that plays “You Are My Sunshine” I think that would be a cute gift #I have a music box that plays “Over The Rainbow” which I think is also very sweet #I think I might wanna start collecting music boxes they're just so very lovely #now that's a hobby I can also get behind! a lovely little tune that could calm down just about anyone! #maybe even put someone to sleep as well #I still remember one of the first things I ever wrote and posted here. The Batter and the Music Box #I wish I had the time to write something like that for my favorite lads and lasses as well #whew this is almost 1.300 words long which is surprising since I wanted to go for 800-ish #but I read Gaz and my brain short circuited he was my favorite when watching the campaign #I did start watching the mw reboot for him and Valeria but I stayed for him and Valeria #mw1 was the best one out of the three in my opinion. and now I'm watching the og mw when I can :-) #og Soap and Ghost are a funny little duo. I love the little hackerman Ghost so much! though I wanna know where the joke of him breaking #so many laptops came from! it's cute but I always thought he was good with technology :o either way I like to imagine talking about IT #stuff with everyone and being good at it and helping them! IT is fun I like it a lot :-) #either way thank you for the request! this one was also an absolute delight to write! love me some good natured fluff and Gaz :D

[derpinette]

SPERG YOUR HEART OUT

#EVERYONE #NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #& FOREVER #i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them. #i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz) #still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^ #I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving #literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things #for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW #so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing #so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head #ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan #OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG #& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted #to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO. #next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it #i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN #like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...

[kaus-quietis]

I kissed the screen then laughed my a$$ off running in circles

#mob psycho 100 #mob psycho 100 season 3 #reigen arataka #mp100 #MP100 III #delete later probably #i never had this reaction to kiss my laptop screen ever in my life but this episode finally tr!ggered it #when you laugh SO hardd you just want to kiss the comedy source on the forehead

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc. #Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ?? #Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER

[pa-pa-plasma]

bro you are on the FANDOM WEBSITE why are you NOT supporting your fandom creators????? do you WANT us to stop??? do you want there to be no more art & fic?? because that’s what happens when you don’t reblog our stuff. this isn’t a threat, this is a reality. if there is no one here wanting to see our stuff we won’t post it. I’m not trying to guilt trip here, none of us are, we’re literally just saying that if there is no motivation to spend 10+ hours making fanart or 5 years writing a multichapter fic for free then we won’t fucking do it

^this shit? ridiculous. I LOVE EVERYONE WHO REBLOGGED & INTERACTED WITH MY ART! I LOVE EVERYONE WHO ASKED QUESTIONS & COMMENTED!! but so many of these people just liked it & left. this has been getting worse over the years, too. the reblogs to likes ratio has been getting crazier. I create because I love it, but if I have no reason to post, I won’t. fandoms dry up because of this. creators quit because of this.

we just need to stop acting like this is instagram, or that anyone cares what your blog looks like. people don’t see your likes, they see your reblogs. you want that favourite content creator to post more art? you want that writer to post the next chapter of your fav fic?? reblog it. share it. show them you care, because otherwise they won’t. this is a hobby we do for free. you consume our stuff for free. you aren’t entitled to it, so please just reblog, it isn’t hard.

#we aren't asking for money we're asking for you to hit a button #stop being a little bitch #this is tumblr. no one gives a shit about your ''aesthetic'' or whatever #no one even looks at who reblogs what on here #i'm sick of seeing people not sharing works out of spite & acting like wanting attention for our labour is bad #I SPEND 15 HOURS DRAWING YOU BETTER FUCKING REBLOG IT. I'M POSTING IT SO I CAN FEEL BETTER #AFTER SPENDING 15 HOURS HUNCHED IN A SHITTY CHAIR WITH MY WRIST ALL FUCKED UP & MY LAPTOP TRYING TO KILL ITSELF & ME #im not asking to be PAID im asking for you to share artist's & writers' works. we are 99% of the fandom's content #you want more content? fucking motivate us to make it. you are getting it for free. stop being an asshole & fucking reblog it #i'm so fucking tired of people with their cold ass takes #if i EVER like anyone's art & don't reblog it THAT WAS A MISTAKE. I MEANT TO REBLOG BUT TUMBLR GLITCHED OR I RAN OUT OF REBLOGS #i KNOW how hard it is to spend hours days YEARS on something & for no one to care #i am literally just asking for everyone to have some sympathy #like imagine if your employer started complaining about how selfish it is you work for free? that's this #you'd quit that job #YOU CAN'T COME TO THE FANDOM WEBSITE & COMPLAIN THAT FANDOM CREATORS WANT ATTENTION FOR THEIR WORK #EVERYONE WANTS ATTENTION YOU STUPID MANTHING IT CAME FREE WITH YOUR FUCKING HUMAN BRAIN

[kendallroysmethpipe]

I want to rewrite my kenmj self insert lore so it's more like. Organized and easy to read. But oh my god there's so much

#🤎 #i want to break it up by season. like pre-show up to s4 #but it qld be so much easier on desktop and my laptop is bricked so WTF EVER

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3 #( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN. #sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things #and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering #the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things #idk man. i think about this issue all the time #if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc? #it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize #in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate #ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me #i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there #he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with #idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now #bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was #and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse #and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy #scopophobia / #scopophobia #eye contact / #eye contact tw