#estinien going too is just so fucking funny. for no reason. hes going to see krile walking around tural and flip his shit

[silversiren1101]

Top 5 Video Game Characters?

Ooooh characters this is hard… This is not in order because that’s impossible for me lol

1) Estinien Wyrmblood - FFXIV: tall stoic fully armored elf boy that is broody and mean, is actually extremely gorgeous with long white hair, has a tragic past, is very protective, and hilariously has no concept of money. He’s been in the game for like 10 years and his growth as a character has been phenomenal to watch and follow. He feels like a friend and old lover lmao

2) Edea Lee - Bravely Default: aside from having one of my favorite visual designs of all time, she’s adorable and stubborn and so very passionate about what is right and wrong. She grew up very sheltered/indoctrinated and seeing her confronted with the direct opposite of everything she was taught and having such moral strength of character to say “fuck all this we are so wrong and we need to fix everything!” is amazing to me. Mgr gr grr

3) Mio / M - Xenoblade Chronicles 3: THE HOPE. THE LOVE. THE DESPAIR. THE SEEING YOUR LOVED ONE TURNED INTO SUCH A MONSTER OVER THE INEVITABILITY OF FATE YOU SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO MAKE IT ALL END. THE “WE WILL FIND EACH OTHER ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT REINCARNATION WE’RE IN”. THE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND FOR THAT I MUST END THIS IN THE DESPERATE PRAYER THAT NEXT TIME IT WILL WORK NEXT TIME WE WILL BOTH MAKE IT YOU WONT BE ALONE AGAIN. THAT there won’t be a next time. It’s time to let go.

I’m so sorry but XC3 has maybe one of my favorite canonical romances of all time in Mio and Noah / M and N that it hits almost every single YES YES YES button of mine and makes me fucking feral. Mio also has just a gorgeous design and her story of accepting her inevitable demise to the last days counting down in story is so beautiful and painful. It’s a story of grief and coming to terms with what is so unfair when everyone around you still has time left that you don’t. I literally cried writing this thinking about it. I adore Mio. Honestly it was a competition between Nia and Mio on which xenoblade catgirl to pick but Mio is such a clear winner for me.

4) HK-47 - KOTOR: Haha funny murder robot makes me laugh. Also the loyalty. There is a case to be made for the genuine loyalty HK-47 has for Revan outside of his programming, and I love them. That’s my metal murder son. He’s also just very interesting narratively! That hints about who you really are and such, and his use in KOTOR 2 is most excellent.

5) Regill Derenge - Wrath of the Righteous: it’s the current favorite most special boy! He hits all the checkboxes okay: knight, stoic/cold, resolved in his ideals, morally questionable methods/the greater good/ ends justify the means, unconventionally attractive, sexy voice, older man. He gets bonus points for seeming extremely straight forward but there’s so much nuance and stuff going on under the hood so to speak, and he’s an awesome example of subtle storytelling in his ideals, motives, and contradictions/hypocrisies! I won’t go too into him because, well, he’s my current favorite, and I can talk forever, but my favorite is his relationship with Yaker. He’s always hard on him, and always talking negatively about being loved by his subordinates, yet… even your companions can see that’s not the case. Not just Ember but Lann will bring up his relationship as a mentor to Yaker, and Regill admittedly calls him “a good plant I’m bad soil” almost begrudgingly. He has self banter too where he has concerns about how his men will fare without them, sounding almost anxious. Lastly, and this is huge, how the points are calculated in his Act 5 quest during the trial. Mechanically, several things in the game affect this, but ultimately having points is BAD and getting 3 points is the immediate failure. You get points by things like being on a chaotic mythic path, accepting the profane gift from nocticula, or trying to reason with Baphomet. Most everything else gives no points, making them neutral. Only TWO THINGS give you negative points which are things he actively approves of: being a Hellknight yourself, and then making Yaker your hellknight ambassador, which involves standing up to Regill and protecting Yaker from unfair punishments. Regill mechanically approves of this MORE than being on the aeon path! That’s huge! He’s a bit of a hypocrite/liar in this regard and I love him for it, he’s more attached to his men than he lets on, and has a much deeper appreciation of Yaker than his overt actions suggest.

I can easily say much more, but that’s good enough for now.

#thanks for the ask! #ask game

[motheatenscarf]

Parsing some Stormblood thoughts. It was more frustrating than rewarding, but the things I liked I did have a lot of fun with.

I will say, "Fun" is the strongest word I can use there, nothing particularly grabbed or moved me, but there are some elements with potential.

Largely wasted potential that I don't think will get followed up on, but I've got 2 full more expansions to go through and the rest of the post-Stormblood patch content before I'm done, so who knows.

The Fun! Bonding with Alisaie and Lyse as we explored the eastern continents stuff, that was a hoot, and I love those two characters in particular. Gosetsu and Hien had some potential to be fun characters, but they kinda dropped the ball. Gosetsu is alive at least, apparently, which made his "death" seem kinda cheap, but it already felt cheap and the drama unearned, so whatever, I'll take it, I like Gosetsu and I want to see more of him. Not sure how I feel about Yotsuyu being alive, but if Fordola got to live and may in time redeem herself, then fuck it, why not give Yotsuyu another shot? Pun not intended.

Yotsuyu and Fordola had the potential to be really compelling characters, even if they're meant to be reprehensible traitors, their motives were at least believable and they were highly driven and emotionally invested in things. That's literally all I ask for. Maybe we can see more from Gosetsu too, his drunken breakdown and him sitting vigil over the corpse of the steppe warrior were the two best moments with him and I'd love to see more of that depth and an exploration of what it means to be an OLD samurai. If he can have a mandatory team-building retreat with Yotsuyu on their sad little island, I'll buy into that, that has potential.

I think the most fun thing here was Zenos going COMPLETELY INSANE. I wish the Ascians were that unhinged, they would at least be fun. He's a monster and it's disgusting that he manipulates entire countries just for his own personal satisfaction, but like, I mean... the Garleans and Ascians were ALREADY doing that, just for gross rape and conquest reasons or Evil Darkness Must End The World reasons. Zenos operating on DBZ fighting anime logic is at least unique and memorable and funny in a setting like this. I'll take it, it's something.

I was glad to see my fears about Estinien maybe getting possessed by the eyes of Nidhogg again were misplaced, but also it was a little anticlimactic to be hinting at his return this entire time only for him to show up at the end, destroy the eyes without anyone knowing, and then not get to talk to him. My friend is doing dragoon quests, and I guess he shows up in the 60-70 stuff there, but... I'm not playing a dragoon, I'm playing Dark Knight and Reaper, so... no Estinien for me. Aymeric even mentions if you click on him that they have reports of people seeing "unmistakable dragoon armor" and goes "He wouldn't... would he?" So, like, I guess I don't take it personally, he's not here to see ANYONE, but it's anticlimactic and a bummer. Him breaking the ceruleum pipeline to cripple the Garlean forces was rad, we owe him a lot, maybe he could show up and we could say THANKS? No? Fine :T

I also really, REALLY wish they had focused more on Ala Mhigo's liberation rather than Doma's. It rang a bit hollow to see all these NPCs singing the Ala Mhigan anthem at the end after Zenos was killed. I REALLY like Raubahn and Lyse, those are two strong characters from Ala Mhigo whose pain and drive in freeing their home I fully buy into, I want to see them succeed . But the entire part about building up Ala Mhigo and instilling hope into its people was shunted to off-screen terriroty. So, seeing Raubahn give his son his old sword to free their homeland is sweet, and Lyse taking over as leader when Conrad dies, and decrying Fordola as a traitor are all potentially powerful moments, but they just... fell so flat for me? I think especially given how much time Lyse spent in Doma with the WoL helping them there, you never get the impression that she's learned enough about Ala Mhigo's suffering and plight to earn the right to inherit leadership of the resistance. It's such a shame because I really like Lyse and I think they COULD have built her up to accept a leadership position, but it felt... hollow.

I'm especially disappointed because again, I really like Lyse, and now she's leaving the Scions to stay and focus on leading the Resistance to help forge an actually stable new system of rulership, which. Yay, that's smart, that's good, if they're gonna have her take over as the leader, at least they'll have her focused on it. But it sucks because they keep doing this to my favorite character from an expansion now. Aymeric managed to survive only to get relegated to faction leader, and while we do get to see him as part of the Alliance (he's even here to help liberate Ala Mhigo!), I also like, miss him and want to run around with HIM instead of most of the Scions. Because most of the Scions are boring wastes of space who feel nothing and react to nothing and don't care about anything beyond "No! Don't KILL people! That's WRONG!" And like, congrats, babe, you're as complicated and interesting as a teletubby, but without weird and insane lore that leaves me staring into my fridge in horror at 12am.

Anyway, I guess I agree in theory with the philosophy that it's better to want MORE of a character than for them to wear out their welcome, and I grant you that the most compelling things about Aymeric and Lyse are their devotion to their people, but MAN. It sucks. Especially because again, besides the twins and Lyse, the Scions did nothing for me.

Y'shtola has potential if they can make her be as snarky and acerbic as her mentor, we love a catty bitch (haha. get it?). She's had a couple of snarky moments that I loved, I want more of them. Y'shtola can be a rock of stability, that's fine, just don't make her a rock of emotional stiffness or availability, that's boring.

Thancred is largely tiresome when they try to make him seem "cool" but he's fun and enjoyable when he's the butt of a joke. He's an archetype that largely exhausts me, and frankly got so bogged down in...WEIRD vibes with whatever they were doing with Minfilia, that I don't know what can be done to save him at this point. They don't seem to know what to do with him, more than any of the rest of the Scions, and it shows, and boy does he suffer for it.

Urianger is barely a character at all, and after 200+ hours of story, I don't have much hope he'll ever have wants or any kind of drive beyond facilitating the plot, but he can be our autistic cryptid. It's fine. I know they said he was Moenbryda's childhood friend, but I'm pretty sure he sprang into being whole cloth out of some mushrooms or mold that was growing out of an ancient tome in a forgotten corner of some vast library. He's not a believable person.

And Krile is... here, I guess. Sometimes her comments feel unearned because I don't know anything about her, so her just showing up to give Alphie shit feels kinda mean because like... it's one thing when friends give each other shit, but I don't know her like that, and it feels like Estinien picking on Alphinaud all over again. She also keeps insisting on like, "Oh, Alphy and trying to impress girls," and "Oh, Thancred, clearly in love with Minfilia," and like. This is Final Fantasy, m'am, nobody can ever in-canon acknowledge they like anyone, why are you the personification of enforcing heteronormativity, this game's one saving grace is that sure, maybe no one's gay, but no one's straight either lol.

Ugh. Whatever. Onward and forward. We'll see where this goes.

#Caitlin Plays FF14 #FF14 spoilers

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Really dumbass idea sorry not sorry. Modern au Estinien losing Esme in the ball pit then he practically dives inside the pit gets embarrassed seeing Aymeric holding Esme because he went in for nothing

(It's funny you say this because in the Modern AU Agi's going to have quintuplets and Esme is one of the quints lol)

Estinien watched as his four three-year-old sons ran around the indoor play park with a smile on his face. Any day I spend with my children is good, however...even better is that they run around and then easily nap when we get home! He and Aymeric (Thancred's away on "business" whatever that means) took the toddlers so Rena and Serafina could treat Agi, now pregnant with their sixth child, to a spa day. She deserves everything. My wife. My pretty wife... "Hey Hami, careful! Don't push Laure down the slide okay?"

Hami, the eldest of the boys by several minutes, laughed and let his brother slide first and then he squealed happily as he took his turn. Pip and Marcelin were chasing each other in a circle for some fucking reason. I don't get it, but you do you, sons.

All was well, except...

Where's Esme?

The eldest of the Varlineau quints and the only girl was nowhere to be seen. Estinien's heart rate began to climb. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She couldn't have gone far. "Esme? Es?" He called out to no response.

"Bapa, ball!" Pip said, pointing to the ball pit.

What if she's hurt? What she's unconscious and can't breathe in the ball pit?! ESME!!!!

Being an experienced and educated personal trainer, Estinien ran and then leapt into the ball pit, alarming several of the children in it. "ESME! ESME! WHERE ARE YOU?" He dug through seemingly hundreds of balls and cried out her name several times. "ESME!"

"Estinien, for Fury's sake, she's right here." A smooth voice shouted from outside the pit. There was Aymeric holding Esme, who was drinking from her sippy cup. "Esme, tell your father you're safe and sound with Uncle Aymeric."

With a big smile (Agi's smile...she's so much like Agi), Esme stopped drinking and burped. "Bapa! I'm wit Uncle Am'ric!"

Oh. Oh okay. Red-faced, Estinien exited the ball pit with other parents giving him dirty looks. Fuck off, assholes. "You wanted a drink, Es?"

She nodded. "Yup! Sippy time."

Estinien took Esme from Aymeric and held her close. "Just tell Bapa next time, okay? Promise?" His pale blue eyes met her brown ones (they all have Agi's chocolate brown eyes), and the look she gave him melted his heart. She smiled, giggled, and patted his cheek with her little sticky hand.

"'kay Bapa. Love you!"

I love you too. I love you and your brothers so fucking much. Thank fuck this pregnancy is going a lot better and is easier for Mummy. You're all miracles, each of you. And now you get to be a big sister again, my little one.

#asker i wuv u #ask and you shall receive #agnes currai #agnes varlineau #wolstinien #estinien x wol #estinien varlineau #aymeric de borel #modern au #rena calab #serafina lom #these two dorks #the varlineau kids

[shivasdarknight]

What are the main jobs of the characters in your wolship/wolnpc ship?  Do they adventure together or take on separate quests?  I’m sure this has been done but feel free to share a fun quest/adventure they had together too. :)

well, let’s start with a tally

Surkukteni: DRK/DRG predominantly, sometimes RDM, knows AST but won’t use it in combat Ysayle: BLM/PLD predominantly - also knows ARC and is learning MCH during 5.X Estinien: DRG and DRG only Aymeric: PLD pretty exclusively tho we’ve seen him w a bow Venat: PLD/WHM/DNC or whatever those technically are to the ancients idk

4 canon tanks.  Four.  And only one person who heals willingly.

If theres any adventuring going on, it’s more likely going to be Venat going than Aymeric due to his obligations as Lord Speaker, but they effectively swap as the assigned healer as he’s pretty much a blue healer.  The makeup is usually:

Tank: Surkukteni, very very rarely anyone else because of her injuries from 3.3 DPS: Estinien and Ysayle - both extremely obnoxious about it Healer: Venat or Aymeric but again, see above.

Surkukteni goes off on her own quite often, but has increasingly been going on jobs with Estinien and Ysayle.  Each of the three are pretty independent as Scions, but they don’t pass up on working together.  Aymeric only goes with others, and Venat heavily prefers to go with others as it’s just not fun if she wanders by herself.

As for a fun adventure, IDK IF THIS COUNTS AS FUN BUT. (see below the cut - explicit 5.5 spoilers)

Paglth’an was one of the few instances where Surkukteni, Ysayle, Estinien and Aymeric were actually on the same battlefield.  Ysayle hung close to Surkukteni and the other Scions, and Estinien and Aymeric basically followed along with canon.  This was Ysayle’s first proper excursion as a Scion besides the work she’d done with Melisande (which was a lot of laying low while Ysayle recovered), and also the first major thing she’d done with Surkukteni since Heavensward.  So maybe there was a lot of overcorrection, maybe there was a lot of hovering on each others’ parts because they were worried and all of this was new.

But during the last leg of the fight - you know, when Tiamat shows up - Ysayle got super fucking distracted.  She knew of Tiamat, but had few chances to speak to her - let alone see her in combat like that.  And Ysayle is a sapphic mess, and is extremely predictable and was crushing hard.  While it got the Scions to tease her for it - namely Surkukteni and Y’shtola - it quickly turned into a dire distraction as a tempered dragon seized Ysayle by the leg and broke it.  Injuries were bad, Surkukteni panicked but at least Ysayle was otherwise fine when they managed to deal with the main pack.  Part of why Estinien doesn’t engage in the Lunar Bahamut fight (beyond it not being canon) is that he hung back to keep an eye on Ysayle until additional helped arrived to let Surkukteni deal with things.

Which means when they head to Ul’dah after everything, there’s this wonderful image in my head that I love of Surkukteni just bridal carrying Ysayle through the streets to the infirmary while they’re just quietly talking to distract her from the pain of having her leg mauled.

She’s fine.  She recovers and it helps that the duration between 5.5/5.55 and 6.0 is like...just over half a year in my canon (for reasons).  But it drives Ysayle nuts after the fact because she hates navigating with crutches and neither Surkukteni nor Estinien will let her live it down because the initial fear and worry is gone - all that’s left is Ysayle is in this situation because she got distracted while oggling a dragon she thought was really hot.  It’s too good of an opportunity to pass up!

And yes, I’ve already written it too.

    Changing the subject to not risk Allie overhearing them talking about her, Surkukteni’s hand fell gently on the cast Ysayle was forced to wear.  “What were you doing out?” she asked, looking Ysayle over with concern.  “I thought you were ordered to rest.”

    “Funny that you’re the one saying this,” was Estinien, falling hard into the couch to Surkukteni’s other side in spite of the glare she leveled by at him.  His hand draped behind her shoulders, falling to rest near Ysayle’s.  His fingers traced her exposed pale skin - all thanks to her slipping shirt - and trailed up her neck, letting them linger at her jaw.  “But I do agree with her, even if she is a hypocrite; is your leg any better?”

    Ysayle shifted to lean into Surkukteni, and by proxy more into Estinien’s touch.  She sighed as she took Surkukteni’s hand, running her own slender fingers along her rough palm.  “I think if you’d told me several years ago that I’d have both former Azure Dragoons fretting over my well-being, I would’ve called you crazier than I and laughed it off.”  Before either could protest, she did laugh it off and shook her head.  “It’s feeling much better, thank you.  I just needed the fresh air, is all.”

    Surkukteni sighed.  “I wish it’d heal faster.  You’d think healing magic would do more for broken limbs, but I suppose it can only do so much.”

    “You and me both.”  Ysayle sighed.  “I only wish I’d been of some help in Carteneau.”

    “A word of advice, then?” was Estinien, in that markedly unhelpful tone of his.  “Things generally go better if you stay focused, and not get distracted by dragons you fancy.”

    Ysayle groaned loudly at that, her face burning bright red.  

    Surkukteni - equally unhelpful - could only laugh, a wide and toothy grin painting her features.

    Paglth’an had...well, it had certainly gone.  It was Ysayle’s second ever serious fight as a Scion proper, and it was safe to say not an easy one to learn group dynamics in.  Things had gone smoothly for the most part (though, Alisaie was no help, as usual), but that quickly changed when Surkukteni caught Ysayle staring.  Not staring at her - though she had honestly wished she had looked at her with all that awe and desire - but rather at Tiamat mid-battle.  She didn’t even get the chance to tease her for it before one of the tempered dragons had seized Ysayle in its jaws, cleanly snapping her leg in two and giving the lot of them a collective heart attack.  It’d been scary in the moment - mortifying, if she were honest - but now that they knew she’d survive and keep her leg as it was?  Well.

    “She is single, you know,” Surkukteni pointed out, only to get a loud whine from Ysayle as she buried her face in the crook of the Warrior’s shoulder.  “You could, if you wanted to.”

    “I’m sure she’d be eager to at least see you properly, with all you’ve done,” Estinien added.

    A more exasperated groan slipped from Ysayle, muted mostly by Surkukteni’s arm.  “Damn the both of you, I never should have explained why,” was her muffled response, broken up by a flustered laugh.  At least it wasn’t a sore subject with her.

#original #final fantasy #final fantasy xiv #ff #ffxiv #wol #answered wol questions #surkukteni #surkie #idk which ships to tag this as because several are mentioned but i wrote the most about the dyanamic with like #surkie and estinien and ysayle so idfk #and its specifically those three because well #aymeric wasnt involved in it yet during paglthan and its pre-enw so obvs no venat #fuck canon i do what i want #and what i want is keeping ysayle and venat around #....and yotsuyu. and moenbryda. and ilberd. but shut up #also ALLIE IS THEIR KID NOW #suggest otherwise and im flaying you horribly.

[shera-dnd]

Love for a Dark Heart

Adding now to the list of things I can’t fucking believe I got paid to write: My FFXIV character falling in love with herself.

Honestly I could have kept writing this for another 5k words more, but I set the rules so I’m gonna stick to them

As usual you can follow this link right here to read it on AO3 if you’d prefer that. If you’d like to have a fic written by me you should feel free to donate to my ko-fi (rules for donations over here) and let’s get going with the fic

You are a rational woman.

You try to deal with the facts and not let emotion rule over your decisions. That doesn’t mean you’re cold hearted or any such thing, but when it comes to wielding aether you really cannot let your emotions get in the way, lest your magic escape your control entirely.

It’s why you joined the Arcanists Guild so long ago, their approach to spell craft was exactly what you needed, and after many long months of training you had even mastered the lost art of summoning. It had been your calculated and well crafted spells that had felled the Primals and even bested Gaius and his Ultima Weapon.

But what did that amount to?

You’ve been betrayed, the Sultana is dead, your friends are lost, and the nations you fought to defend probably have a price on your head by now. All your possessions now fit neatly into the tiny backpack you brought along in your journey to Ishgard, and the only people left to console you are Alphinaud and Tataru, but in all honesty you’re usually the one consoling them now.

But Ishgard still welcomes you and still needs you. House Fortemps has embraced you and the least you can do is fight to protect them as well. Just keep fighting and saving people until everything gets solved, it definitely worked just fine the first time you tried that, so why not try it again?

You don’t want to be bitter, you don’t want to be angry, you genuinely feel sorry whenever you snap at Alphinaud or Haurchefant, you know they’re having a hard time too. Still it is so hard not to just let that frustration fester in your heart.

One day you’re walking the streets of Ishgard, trying to work the anger out of your system, when you hear a man muttering something. It was a story about a man who fought like a beast, who wielded the Darkness like other men would wield a blade. Something about this story sparks your curiosity and next thing you know you’re pressing the man for details.

It seemed your mystery man had died in battle with the holy knights of Ishgard and his corpse had been dumped in the Brume. It was unfortunate, but mayhaps you could still find his corpse, maybe even his soulstone.

You weren’t thinking of wielding the darkness, were you? No, it was simply academic curiosity. You just couldn’t leave such a thing unstudied, right? Of course. Now to make your way to the Brume.

No pulse, no breathing, skin as cold as the snow around you, that man was a corpse. At least he was a corpse with a soulstone, maybe you could study that. You just have to take it and-

A voice calls for you in the dark.

You wake up confused, but still intact. Better yet, the man you thought dead was now alive and well in front of you. His name is Fray and he was a Dark Knight. Apparently so were you now.

Perhaps embracing the dark should have been difficult, it should have been the kind of decision you pondered over and considered all the pros and cons. It wasn’t supposed to be something you did on a whim, but in reality it was the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

You were stronger now. How else could you wield a weapon so massive? How else could those knights strike you with their blades and barely make you flinch? How else could you take all that anger, and frustration that you had repressed for so long, and give it such a beautiful shape as it cut down those hallowed bastards? 

It felt good.

It felt too good.

Perhaps the life of a Dark Knight was exactly what you needed.

In the weeks that passed no one questioned why you disappeared every night or where you went. You had gone through a lot, and they just wanted to give you space to heal. Besides, who would question what the Warrior of Light did with her spare time? It almost made you feel bad for what you were doing.

Almost.

It was hard feeling bad now that you have started studying the Darkness. No, studying would imply a lot more research and controlled tests. What you were doing was more like exercising it, working out a muscle you didn’t know you had until now. If that meant killing your fair share of monsters then so be it.

Especially when working that metaphorical muscle also seemed to improve your physical ones. Even your eye sight seemed to have improved somehow. With time your tunic had been replaced by plate armor, your glasses by a full helmet, your book of spells by the biggest sword you could carry.

There were still hiccups when adapting to this new life as a Dark Knight. No matter how many times you attuned yourself to the Darkness you could only ever hear whispers of that voice in the dark that had once called your name. It worried you, and frustrated Fray to no end.

Frustration seemed to be Fray’s default state. Always furious at the people around you who insist on asking you to fix all their problems, ready to throw threats and insults any time someone so much as  thought of interrupting you. You try to be nice, you try to de-escalate, to help those people anyway, but you know deep down that you agree with her.

Her? Wasn’t Fray a man?

Doesn’t matter, Fray can use whatever pronouns she wants. You just can’t remember her ever telling you she changed those. 

Wait did she just mention fighting Leviathan? Had she been there with you on that ship? Surely you’d remember that.

Why hadn’t she mentioned that before?

Maybe if you still saw the world through your old scholarly lens, maybe if you still distanced yourself, studied the situation, maybe then you would have realized what was happening. You really can’t help but feel a little stupid when the truth finally reveals itself.

When Fray takes off her helmet it is your face that you see, your eyes that stare into yours, your voice that challenges you. She was your Darkness, your repressed rage against those who used you again, and again to suit their needs; your frustrations with this world that would exhaust you to the bone before finding any solution that didn’t involve you, your need for someone to just step up and care for you even once.

If only she hadn’t hurt those people, if only her first answer wasn’t to just draw her sword on those she saw as a threat to you, maybe then you’d let her go.

Your swords clash and ultimately she’s the one to fall. Your Darkness, your heart, your…

...Esteem, lies defeated before you and you don’t know how to feel. She was a monster formed from the deepest abyss, yet when you hear her declare that she will always be there for you, if only you were to call her, you can’t help but feel hope.

It was only after you exposed yourself to just about every guard, and soldier at Dragon Head that you decided that it’s about time you came clean to your friends.

Alphinaud and Haurchefant didn’t understand why you had made the decisions you had, but they couldn’t think of anyone better to wield such a power. Tataru trusted you with her life and just a bit of Darkness wouldn’t get in the way of that. Estinien claimed that he understood, that he too struggled against the evil that granted him his powers. In the end it all felt too easy, too unearned.

Still, there was a nation to save and a war to stop. Your little existential crisis would have to wait. You could almost hear Esteem screaming at you for ever forming that thought. 

Soon it wouldn’t be just almost.

Weeks passed as you traversed Dravania, searching for a way to stop this war. For a moment you had hoped that by exposing the lies of Ishgardian nobility you would finally put an end to this, but of course that just led the holy men of Halone to do what they thought was right, which just happened to be capturing and torturing an innocent man.

You went in to try to save a man, to make those self appointed saints pay. You didn’t go there to lose a friend, yet that’s what you did.

You kept your composure long enough to reach your private chambers in the Fortemps manor, but as soon as the door closed behind you, you collapsed. You could have saved him, you could have prevented this, you could have jumped out of the way, or pushed him away, or just done anything.

But you didn’t, and now he paid the price for it.

What a pathetic excuse for a Warrior of Light you are.

“You’re no such thing!” A familiar voice calls. You don’t know when or how you summoned her back, but there she was.

Esteem lifted you from the ground and laid you in your bed. You noticed now that instead of the black armor she had favored in your fight, now she wore one of your old robes and your old glasses. It was almost funny thinking of a being of pure aether deigning to wear glasses for some reason.

With a gentleness you didn’t know either of you had, she caressed and soothed you as she repeated those same words over and over again, “it wasn’t your fault.”

It felt pathetic to only have a shadow of yourself to care for you, but for now it didn’t matter. All you could do in that moment was cling, cling to the kind words and the soft touch of the only person who cared enough to offer, and try as hard as you can to believe in what she’s saying.

“Rest now, you fool,” she asked, her voice just as gentle as before.

“Please stay,” you pleaded, unsure if she would disappear the moment you closed your eyes.

It was a selfish thing to ask, to force her to stay in the material world simply for your own comfort, but Esteem wanted nothing more than for you to be selfish, so there was never any doubt that she would oblige.

The next morning she was still there, asleep somehow, still holding you in her arms. It shamed you to admit that this was the closest you’ve ever been to another person. No one had held you this close, no one had ever let you fall asleep in their arms - or fallen asleep in yours for what that matters - had she been more than just a piece of your own heart, perhaps you would have found reason for embarrassment.

There was certainly some strangeness to it, of course. Waking up in your own arms and seeing your own face in the morning was as surreal an experience as you could imagine right now. Though it did allow you some interesting introspection. You shifted in bed a little, trying to get a good look at your own face, wondering if you had ever looked this peaceful before.

“If you even consider rising from this bed I promise you the Archbishop will be the least of your worries,” she grumbles without even opening her eyes.

“I did not know you could sleep,” you comment.

“Neither did I,” she replies. She pushes herself into a sitting position, having completely given up on the idea of returning to your shared slumber, “if I must be honest, I don’t even know how I was granted physical form once more.”

“Yet your first response to sudden corporealization was not to question it, but to attend to the sobbing mess on the floor,” you are by no means attempting to mock her, it simply sounds odd to you.

“What am I to say?” She jested, “I’m quite fond of that sobbing mess.”

At that you averted your gaze. It felt embarrassing somehow, to have someone declare their fondness so bluntly, even if that someone wasn’t an actual person.

“Have we truly grown so alienated from affection?” She sighs, her voice a mix of worry and disappointment.

You motion to protest, but a knock on the door interrupts you both. With a gesture, she requests you stay in bed while she handles this. That may be the worst idea you have ever heard, but you’re far too tired to protest.

“I’m glad to see you’re awake and well,” Alphinaud greets her cheerfully, “If you’re disposed, I’d like to ask-”

“I’m not,” She interrupts, “now, you may be on your way.”

The poor boy is too stunned to reply, and does nothing to stop her from slamming the door on his face. A smug smirk forms on her face as she strides back to you.

“Must you be so rude to all my friends?” You say as you glare at her.

“Must you put the needs of every last soul above your own well being?” She shot back, matching your stare.

You’re the one to break the stare first, “I’ll try not to.”

She nods and gives you a satisfied smile as she sits next to you, “now do try to rest. Wouldn’t want me to be rude to poor Alphinaud for naught.”

In the weeks that followed she had been ever by your side. Like your old summons she could effortlessly appear and disappear from thin air, combined with her nature as a being of pure aether it made you suspect you had somehow called upon an egi of Esteem’s former self. This was promptly disproven by the fact that her response to any direct commands was a simple and direct, “sod off!”

By all accounts she should simply be darkness aspected aether, given shape and purpose by your needs and desires, as unreal as Ysayle’s false Shiva. Yet here she was, talking when she wanted to, sleeping when she wanted to, eating when she wanted to--seven hells she even has different tastes than you. There was no other way around it, Esteem had become her own person somehow.

Part of you worried that you had somehow created a Primal of your own heart. That had now been buried under the far more substantial worry that you have been utterly mistreating an actual person with thoughts and feelings, who had done nothing but help you and care for you for weeks. This in turn had been buried under the mess of feelings that struck your heart at the fact that this woman had held you in your sleep for weeks now. Mayhaps you should just focus on hitting things with big swords for now.

On that angle things have been a lot simpler. Your preparations for the journey to Azys Lla were now almost concluded, and as you waited for Master Cid to finish his work you took your time to aid a fellow Dark Knight by the name of Sidurgu.

That man quite proudly embodied the mass of hate and anger you expected from a Dark Knight, a trait that seemed to invoke Esteem’s disdain and earn him quite a share of her unkindly remarks. Neither his emotional state nor her opinion of him were ever aided by the fact that you surpassed him with ease.

You may have stumbled onto this power like a blind fool, but it had somehow suited you with a natural ease that eluded your companion. It was in the pursuit of more power - under the guise of aiding a young girl that Sidurgu had taken under his wing - that you found yourself once more doing menial tasks for moogles. At least today you’d have the catharsis of beating them within an ilm of their lives for it.

What you did not expect was for them to burst into song and dance afterwards.

“‘Tis love! ‘Tis love!” They profess with their tiny voices, “all-powerful, shining love!”

Suffice to say that the both of you were completely befuddled by the performance - Esteem loudly laughing in the corner she carved for herself in your mind - had Rielle, your shared charge, not appeared in that moment you were sure you’d both sit like that for an hour.

It was only as you made your way back to Ishgard that Sidurgu took you aside to talk about what had unfolded. He mocked the idea that love could be the true power of Darkness, but you could see that sharp edge on his voice begin to dull ever so slightly.

A year ago you would have been just as dismissive of such an idea, to properly channel aether you require coldly calculated theorems, not something as nebulous as love. 

Yet here you are. You’ve wielded anger and frustration like weapons for months now, why can’t you wear love like an armor?

You loved your friends and that gave you strength.

You loved Eorzea and that gave you strength.

You loved yourself and that…

...Well, did you really love yourself that much? Not as much as you should if Esteem were to be believed, but she does. She loves you, and that gives you strength.

It’s with this context that you begin to notice the little things she does, even when she’s not around. The gentle touches, the kind words, the worry in her eyes after a rough fight. It had been her love that helped you strike down with your blade, it had been her love that held you up when an enemy would fell you. It made you oh so keenly aware of her heartbeat - surprisingly human and comforting - next to yours as she held you both together.

Had you loved her too this whole time?

Perhaps you should have questioned this before the worries of facing Garleans, Ascians, and the Archbishop, loomed this close in the horizon. Perhaps you should have questioned that Esteem’s love didn’t come just from some magically ordained purpose. Perhaps you should have questioned what it meant about you that you so willingly accepted and reciprocated that love.

By the time you arrive at the Fortemps manor that night, you have already made your decision and you find her in your room, reading a spicy romance novel from Emmanellain’s secret stash. Steeling yourself in a way you hadn’t done since facing Ultima, you approach her and bring your lips to hers. It was a fleeting touch, but it had the whole of you buzzing with nervous energy.

With the most detestably smug smile, she brings you close again so she may kiss you back and, as if she hadn’t just shaken your very soul with that act, returned to her reading.

You stare at her, utterly confounded by her lack of any real reaction. It takes her a moment to realize you are still staring and the words that escaped her mouth would infuriate and haunt you for the rest of your existence.

“Was I wrong to assume we’d been lovers for at least a month now?”

Perhaps you really should have just stuck to hitting people with big swords.

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #dark knight #ffxiv dark knight #drk #warrior of light #esteem #warrior of light x esteem

[makeela]

Top 12 Most Unfuckable Men In FFXIV (according to a lesbian)

(WARNING: This list contains spoilers up to 5.0)

12. Urianger Augurelt

Urianger is the least unfuckable man in Final Fantasy XIV. Mostly because, well - look at him. That’s the look of a man who has either fucked a lot or never once in his life, and we all saw Moenbryda. If Urianger told me he wanted to “smasheth mine pussy” I would have no choice but to accept, if only because it’d be an experience. There is nothing wrong with wanting to fuck Urianger.

11. Aymeric de Borel

Aymeric was originally in Urianger’s spot when I was thinking about this list, and the only reason he’s not is because he has definitely never fucked before in his life. So aggressively has he never fucked that when he was born, he had to come out via cesarean section, so that he might not have touched pussy even once. You would have to have a several year long committed relationship with him and it still wouldn’t happen until after his dumbass best friend gets possessed by a giant dragon and he’s trying real hard to stave off those Unholy Urges. It doesn’t work. This does not change the fact that, if I had to choose a man, I would be honored for Ser Aymeric de Borel to have a seat on my face.

10. Crystal Exarch

Haurchefant wants what the Crystal Exarch has: he’s smart, he’s cute, and his body is partially composed of rocks. All he wants is to go on an adventure with you, and maybe hold your hand. I feel like fucking the Crystal Exarch isn’t even sexual at this point, your emotional connection is just so deep that it’s only right to make him cry over and over. You’re being a good friend. You should fuck the Crystal Exarch.

9. Cid nan Garlond

I feel like Cid is the true neutral of this list. He’s funny, not objectively bad looking, loves to make shit for you and showers regularly. Unfortunately, he is not exceptionally memorable on a list of Male Characters I’d Be Interested In Maybe Fucking, If I Had To. I was almost done with this list before I even remembered that Cid is a major character, and not your best friend who you would never even consider fucking, just because that’s the kind of relationship you guys have. I would not fuck Cid, but not because there’s anything wrong with him; I just don’t want to fuck him. Sorry, Cid.

8. Gaius van Baelsar

Gaius van Baelsar definitely smells bad. He’s tried to kill you more than once, and two of those times was with a big robot that had god powers. However, like, just look at him. Imagine if he washed his hair. We all know how tall Alphinaud is, right? Look at how small he is by comparison. This is, in truth, the only reason he is in this spot and not one lower - he’s basically just a Metal Gear Solid character, which I am not mad about at all. I kind of wish Gaius was my father figure, and if, at some point, I ended up fucking him, I don’t think it would be the end of the world. I don’t think you should go out of your way to fuck Gaius van Baelsar, but if it happens, it happens, right?

7. Estinien Wyrmblood

I really wish I could justify ranking Estinien somewhere above Gaius. I really do. If I wasn’t trying to be at least semi-objective, he’d be right below Aymeric. He’s just so spiky. And Mean. And Sad. Unfortunately, I regret to inform you all and remind myself that there is no way that Estinien Wyrmblood does not, on a constant basis, smell like the inside of a Taco Bell, and I’m, like, at least 75% sure that he doesn’t know how to read. There also wouldn’t be much of a chase if you wanted to fuck Estinien, but unless he’s like, in love with you he’s also a very wham-bam-thank you ma’am kind of guy, and I’d be more into it if I got to braid his hair afterwards and gently reassure him that things were going to be okay. I wish I could recommend that you fuck Estinien, but I don’t think that’s the kind of physical comfort he needs right now.

6. Zenos yae Galvus

After Estinien I wasn’t sure who to put next, just because starting around here you get to Men I Am Neither Disgusted By Nor Benevolent Toward the concept of fucking, and I didn’t even think I had any of those until my friend, no hesitation, said “Zenos.” She is right. Zenos is pretty, he’s huge, he kills a lot of people and enjoys the job. This is a charm point for me. He also has absolutely no character traits otherwise so all he has is that he’s Pretty and Likes Murder. Talk to me again when he has depression and maybe we can re-evaluate.

5. Thancred Waters

Thancred and I have had a very tumultuous relationship. In ARR, he was alright. My opinion of him improved significantly in Heavensward, where he was just a long-haired eyepatched hobo who refused to revisit human civilization because he didn’t want to wear pants. In Shadowbringers, he just turned into a shitty dad, and I did not like that shit at all. They took his eyepatch and his ponytail and gave him Shitty Parenting Skills. If Thancred were my father figure, I would simply not speak to him. I could not be persuaded to fuck Thancred.

4. Magnai Oronir

I don’t need to explain this one.

3. Nabriales

I don’t think Nabriales is too much worse than, like, Lahabrea, in terms of fuckability - meaning that, if pressed, I would not choose to fuck either of them - but every time I get the Chrysalis in Trial Roulette half the party immediately drops. The Chrysalis isn’t even that hard, guys, just make sure someone limit breaks the tear. I love to MT the Chrysalis. As someone who consistently gets Thornmarch and Steps of Faith in Trials Roulette, I will kick the shit out of Nabriales any day. Just, not sexually. At all. Maybe a little bit if the off tank would turn off tank stance.

2. Hien Rijin

Hien is pretty cute. Unfortunately, he is also an imperialist, even though the MSQ doesn’t want to talk about that at all because he’s your buddy. Every single time I got a quest like “talk to Hien!” I would get so mad. I don’t want to talk to Hien. Every time I talk to Hien he just wants me to help him infringe on another race’s cultural events for his benefit. It wouldn’t even be a problem for me if it wasn’t encouraged and entirely uncriticized by the narrative. I don’t want to see or be seen by Hien.

1. Haurchefant Greystone

I didn’t play FFXIV for three years because I thought Haurchefant was a main character. Literally, for like, three years, many of my friends were like “Play FFXIV!” and I was like “no!” because I didn’t want to hear about Haurchefant more than I already had to. By the time I met him in MSQ, I was willing to give him a chance. I got it, at the beginning - he’s helpful, he’s complimentary. The problem is, that’s it. I think he sounds like Kif Kroker, and I think I would rather die than fuck him, which is saying a lot coming from me since I think most aliens are super sexy. After I knew Haurchefant for, like, two weeks, he invited me to come to his house and he was like “you have no idea how long I waited for this!” You waited two weeks, man. I understand that you live in an icy tundra and you’ve not felt the touch of another in years, because that’s the only way you could possibly be this horny by the time I stumble into your office, but Jesus Christ, dude. I wish I could be friends with Haurchefant, but I know this is simply not possible since he is so deeply horny that once the point was made the friendship could no longer recover. I am truly, deeply glad that I’ll never have to worry about having a Tinder date with Haurchefant go awry and he will never send me fifty texts asking for photos of my feet. Haurchefant is the most unfuckable man in Final Fantasy XIV. Sorry, Haurchefant. I wish things could be different.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

1. Nero tol Scaeva

Nero fucking sucks. I would probably fuck Nero. You should not fuck Nero.

2. Emet-Selch

I’m pretty sure that Emet-Selch wouldn’t even be DTF, at least not with the Warrior of Light. On the off chance that he was, though, I would definitely fuck Emet-Selch. I cannot see any good reasons why I shouldn’t fuck Emet-Selch. He is greasy, and old, and talks in riddles. This is extremely sexy to me. If these things are not extremely sexy to you, I don’t think you should fuck Emet-Selch.

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #final fantasy #nobody be weird on this please :( #good shit op #(i'm op)

[astroellipse]

hhhhhhhghghhh i hate heavensward man i don’t wanna do the vault :(

I’m already tearing up this is so stupid!!! One of the main reasons I’m replaying is to try and figure out why people think HW is good but! It’s even worse the second time around! WHY would Aymeric do something so reckless? He doesn’t even make a contingency plan! It’s ridiculous! Goddammit man. And the foreshadowing. Fucking Haurchefant. I’ve only grown more attached to him this time around, especially because I’ve made a point to talk to every NPC for extra dialogue. He says, right now before The Vault, “My arm will not falter; my shield will not break. I promise you: we shall prevail!” He’s half right. And half literally wrong... the direct reference to his broken shield... this is evil. This is just so so bad. I’m going to sob like a baby a second time when he dies again. I love this dude.

Yes this is me procrastinating. I’m not sure if there’s another time after this when he’s loaded into the overworld. He and that moment in The Vault are perhaps the best part of this stupid expac. Genuinely feels like SB took a bunch of the core ideas but gave them actual depth and made them Good. Or at least Better. At least it all made sense for the most part. And had a villain I had literally any interest in. I do not care about the Heavens Ward. Ok I care about Zephirin but that’s just because I do continue to want his head on a pike. But the rest of them? And Thordan? Completely uninterested. They really should have expanded on Ishgard’s religion more, earlier, maybe instead of some of the silly bullshit we go through on our journey with Estinien and Ysayle. Like, they set it up later, which lets me see what they were trying to do now, but when I played the first time I didn’t understand that Thordan was trying to use his peoples’ faith to turn himself into a primal until I was crossing blades with him.

I just. This sucks. After seeing how good the story can be this undeniably is bad. They should have leaned into the WoL being a tool, because they absolutely are for this entire expac. The reason I love Haurchefant so much is because he actually gives a damn about the WoL as his friend, and not just a capable fighter. That entire journey before could have been so good if the story had at least attempted to create/expand some sort of emotional connection between the WoL and Estinien/Alphinaud, maybe Ysayle though for how quickly she becomes irrelevant it wouldn’t have mattered much. They had the foundation there! They put that seed of doubt in your mind, and then never do anything with it. I swear, they don’t touch on it much in the later expacs either. I’ve talked about this though, how there isn’t really anywhere for that thread to go without serious story implications if the answer is anything other than “I choose to do this, serving as a tool is my will.”

My personal answer, for both of my WoLs, is “I enjoy this.” Much more fun to play around with in my head, that secret selfishness. Both of them could care less about the fate of the star, as long as they’re still around to fight bigger and badder enemies, currently to destroy Zenos and hopefully Zodiark and Hydaelyn along with him. Granted Doran does share a will with Secret, so it’s really just her that wants this. Made ShB really fun, when she was struggling with actually starting to care about the world and her friends, since they... at least sort of appeared to care for her, as a person and not just a weapon. Will also be fun with Doran, who struggles with distinguishing himself from Secret, even as a shard of her, willing himself to care for those around him, to take more than just a passing interest in the world. Although with some knowledge from Secret, he’s seeing some stuff from a different perspective. The big one, currently, is Aymeric’s ridiculous plot here. Where Secret blamed solely herself for Haurchefant’s death, Doran also sees that it was Aymeric’s recklessness that got them into the situation in the first place. He is also, I think, a bit more prepared to accept his death as what Haurchefant wanted, which would give Secret some measure of peace.

Since I know I’ll look back on these eventually anyways, I’ll explain shortly. Secret Dusk is my primary WoL. Doran Stokes is one of seven souls joined to her from a past Rejoining, in addition to Ardbert’s and of course her own soul originating in the Source. Secret has been doing a hell of a lot of reflecting in between action (me writing about her and reading through old quest logs, and doing dark knight stuff), and... sort of unconsciously started to relive things. The world recreated within herself, from the beginning of her journey though a little different, for one of her shards to experience. And Doran, being the first to be rejoined to her, was the lucky winner.

He is, of course, deeply attached to Secret, and is delighted to be able to interact with this world as she did, even if he’s having some separate experiences. He retains some knowledge from Secret, with just enough missing for things to still be dramatic to him. Both Secret and Doran exemplify things I like to imagine of Azem, Secret being primarily their analytical and accommodating nature, and Doran being a carefree traveler. Both are reckless in equal measure, willingly or no, though Doran leans into this a bit more. He keeps up with 3 classes, all DPS: Bard, Red Mage, and Dragoon. All have the capacity to make him fly off the edge of arenas which I think is funny. All have a penchant for wandering.

Bard is his, I suppose, canon class, or at least his most favored one. Dragoon he picked up simply because he started in Gridania and it was there, and kept up with it in HW because when in Rome and all that. And Red Mage is there because he wanted to try his hand at magic, though... I think I’ve realized that I just don’t like playing casters. At least not in solo play. Way too squishy. Love playing DRG in a dungeon and the tank overpulls and dies and suddenly *I* have the aggro, so I pop arm’s length and bloodbath and AoE my heart out while praying the healer can keep up. Feels even better on the off-chance it works!

That was not a short explanation at all. Oh well. Guess I’ll go shower so I can prepare myself to sob about fictional men.

#mmorpg hell

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Day 10: Channel

Modern AU. Estinien is begging his wife to change the channel. Kinda NSFW.

“Agi for fuck’s sake, change the channel.” Estinien groaned as he sat next to his wife on the couch.

“What? Why?” Agnes asked, sipping her tea. One of Estinien’s long muscular arms wrapped around her broad shoulders. “There’s new episodes of Hunting for Houses and Reno or Sell-O!”

Put a bullet in my head. Please. Just...please. I love my wife. I love her more than anything on this star. I want to have a ton of babies with her. She’s the sweetest, kindest, sexiest woman in the history of mankind. BUT HER TASTE IN TELLY IS SO SHIT! “Sweetheart, those shows rot your brain I’m sure of it. Not that I’m saying your brain is being rotted right now!” He added quickly upon seeing her “I’m getting annoyed with you” face. “I just don’t understand why you like this stuff.”

Agnes shrugged and put her mug down on the coffee table. “I don’t know. I just do. I like judging the houses and…the people. It’s just funny to me.” She patted his thigh and then reached for the remote. “But we can put on something else, love.”

Fuck, now she sounds sad. She deals with high-energy children all day and simply wants to shut her brain off in the evenings. Plus…you cannot deny…that you…fuck, love to be a gossipy twat about these shows too. Fuck. “No, no. If it makes you happy, then so am I. Besides,” he pressed a kiss to her head. “this’ll give us good practice for when we go house hunting.”

The squeal of delight his wife let out was both ear-splitting and heartwarming. To see her happy is the greatest thing in the world…next to sex with her. That cannot be topped. Except me! She can top me any time she likes! “Oh good! A new episode is starting right now!”

Oh goody.

“I’m Adela.” A blond Midlander on the screen said. “And this is my fiancée Bataar. We met at university when I participated in a cultural exchange with Steppe University.”

Agnes snorted. “Big guy. Tiny girl. Seen it a million times.”

“I mean, I’m a big guy, and you’re shorter than me.” Am I not getting something?

“Oh love,” she patted his thigh again. Oh gods, she needs to stop doing that. I’m getting way too turned on. “She’s little and cute. Thin and pretty. And he’s HUGE. He’s got to be near seven fulms tall, no? She seems barely five fulms. There’s a big difference.”

I still don’t get it but okay.

“What I love most about Adela? She’s got a kind heart like the Dusk Mother.”

“I don’t go comparing my lovely wife to Halone, mate, but you do you.” Estinien muttered.

Agnes giggled, grabbing her mug. “No, you say I’m Menphina come to life. Especially when we’re fucking, love.”

That’s because it’s true!

“I’m from Gridania—”

“Of course you are.” Agnes snorted. “I swear people from Gridania are so fucking weird. Weird about the woods. Weird about outsiders. Just…weird.”

“And we want to stay in Gridania near my family and job.”

Seems reasonable enough…

“I’m a jewelry shop assistant, and Bataar is a carpenter. Our budget is four hundred thousand gil for an at least four-bedroom single family home with at least two full bathrooms.”

“WHAT?!” Agnes and Estinien shrieked at the same time.

“There’s no fucking way they can afford and get all that in Gridania.” Agnes stared at the television. “Not with those jobs! Unless their families are helping?”

“Have to be…otherwise, they’re in for a rude awakening.” Estinien squeezed her shoulder. “That’s completely unrealistic.”

“Our realtor is Adela’s aunt Bertha—”

Estinien grunted and pointed his beer at the screen. “There ya go. That’s it. Family realtor.”

“I may have to give Adela and Bataar, specifically Adela, some hits with the reality stick. I don’t think she understands how the market in Gridania works.”

Agnes laughed so hard tea almost came out of her nose.

“This cannot be the house? It can’t be, right? Bataar?” Adela yelled as they approached a dilapidated cottage in Old Gridania. Bataar tried unsuccessfully to calm her as her aunt opened the door.

“Now, it needs some love—”

“We are not getting a fixer.” Estinien said, eyes narrowing. “I want everything ready to go.”

“Oh love, but those are cheaper, AND we can make it our own!” Oh shit, she’s got a dreamy look in her eyes. Oh shit. Oh fuck. “Just imagine the possibilities!” The only possibilities I’m imagining are you and I in our tastefully decorated home and fucking in every room. NOT A BLOODY RENO!

“Sweetest,” Bataar pleaded with Adela. “I can do some very fine work here…”

“AUNTIE, WHY DID YOU SHOW US THIS?!?!”

“Because your budget is shit, sweetie.” Agnes snarked, taking a brownie. “It’s especially shit in Gridania itself. Try the South Shroud with the swamps, and maybe you’ll get your money’s worth there.” My wife is so sexy when she’s being sassy. I fucking love it.

As the episode continued, Adela threw tantrums at the other properties (a small cottage that’s move-in ready and another fixer in the North Shroud). Estinien guessed correctly that they would choose the small cottage.

“Wow love, how did you guess?”

Estinien shrugged. “No fuss with that cottage. So what it’s not as large as she wants…at least it’s all ready.”

Agnes kissed his cheek and reached for the remote, changing the channel to All About Food. “You’ve suffered enough, my grumpy man. I think your favorite is going to be on…the one about chefs being forced to cook through challenges?”

I love my wife.

Even though she watches garbage.

#agnes currai #modern au #agnes varlineau #estinien wyrmblood #estinien varlineau #wolstinien #estinien x wol #ffxiv write #ffxiv write 2022 #agi watches HGTV nonstop #estinien's more a food network dude