Tumgik
#especially since yall dont even give me an alternative. you tell me not to do things and im left to just sit perfectly still
snekdood · 1 year
Text
probably my greatest strength is getting out of suicidal episodes by myself.
#however it makes me resent humans as you can see#i think id rather resent humans though than to needlessly punish myself just bc other ppl dont like me#whether for reasons i just dont understand. some dumb thing i said once or bc they believe bs ppl say about me#like theres no reason i have to punish myself for that. for yall like that. fuck you.#like for some of you. ill never be goodor woke enough. even if all the bs ppl make up about me is proven false. even if i clarify#what i meant when i said whatever thing bc im bad at communicating my thoughts through text. even if i became jesus fuckin christ#yall would probably still just hate me for no fucking reason. theres no way i could be good enough or perfect enough or anything#theres no way i can change and modify my behavior and stand on my head that will satisfy you.#and with that in mind. why should i give a fuck about trying? who tf are you to assert that i need to change myself for you#some random fucking person online.#get fucked#you do not know me.#i will never be the thing you want me to be#i will never be the perfect version of me that you want me to be#im going to become the better version of myself that i think i can be and should be#but im not going to turn into the better version of myself that YOUUUU think i should be.#especially since yall dont even give me an alternative. you tell me not to do things and im left to just sit perfectly still#god forbid i move a muscle. thats the better version of me to you. motionless and mute.#and if thats what you believe i hope you shove a jar up your ass and it pops inside you.#im going to be my loud ass bat self and theres nothing you can do about it unless you wanna try to actually fucking kill me.#step up or shut up.
2 notes · View notes
ask-turnedtechgodhead · 3 months
Note
Where's everyone?
Tumblr media
oh shit yeah should probably actually fill yall in if youre seeing this or fill you in on the fuck all i know right now anyway which shouldnt take long
Tumblr media
however the fuck youre getting these anyway at this point im just assuming its time loop bullshit because lets be real its always time loop bullshit isnt it theres infinite daves out there all drowning in time loop bullshit but i guess its almost weirdly reassuring? like i dont remember doing any of this shit right this version of me hasnt ever stolen stupid ass recordings from an alternate me to give to... whoever yall are assuming youre from earth c so hey guess in a roundabout way this documentary bullshit worked and that means at some point ill have the ability to do time loop bullshit again and that shitll be the happiest day of my life fuck everything i said about never touching time shit again dropped that shit like it was hot and now im on my knees digging through the dirt like some poor sap who just rejected the love of his goddamn life just because she was a mole woman like yeah sure shes got fucked up hands and she cant see shit but fuck dude one look at how quickly she tunnels away is all it takes to realise that she could be the one for you especially if you can use those tunnels to get back to uh yeah
Tumblr media
anyway isnt that the question of the goddamn century
Tumblr media
far as i can tell the other three all landed here too cant get hold of egbert but im assuming hes busy creating creepy ass cake sculptures or whatever the fuck it is they do for family reunions over in the egbert household
Tumblr media
so his dad and roses mom make five
Tumblr media
...maybe six. havent seen bro around but itd be weird if the game didnt throw his ass back here with everyone else right so make that five and a half i guess and uh
Tumblr media
...no one else we think anyway cant get a hold of the trolls or the other humans so far hell the trolls handles aint even showing up on pesterchum and i know for a goddamn fact they were harassing us around now so thats...
Tumblr media
...
Tumblr media
also since apparently that shit wasnt bad enough the universe went hey yknow whatll be great youll fucking love this bro trust me so you remember puberty right yeah what if you had to do that shit all over again lmao have fun with that
13 notes · View notes
Text
Once upon a time in NYU- MGG AU
Fandom: MGG, Criminal Minds
Pairing: College!Matthew X College!Reader
Summary: you couldn't stand Matthew, and he couldn't stand you. But you couldn't say the same when you were in his bed
Warnings: alternative universe, enemies to lovers relationship, cursing duh, hair pulling, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, bad writing basically
WC: 6.1k 
A/N: so I saw I think it was @eideticmemory​ write an enemies to lovers college fic and like a light just went on in my head, and I really wanted to that because I've always wanted to, but also give it my own twist and touch of course, so I guess this my attempt at writing a multi-chapter Matthew fic. Will I succeed? Probably not. But it's a good excuse to write smut after a year so we'll see. ALSO HUGE TW I understand posting this now might be a bit of a bad timing. So if you think that reading this will trigger you in any way, just go ahead and skip this one. I dont want to trigger anyone in any way, I just want to entertain you guys and myself in the process so yeah, read at your own risk and please please stay safe. And this is going to be a bit long so strap in yall and enjoy the poorly written sin. 
Andddd huge huge thanks to my friend Kara (idk if shes reading this but yeah) for helping me edit this, she helped me make this so much better for you guys and she literally so amazing for actually spending the time to help me. So yeah, 
Tumblr media
You know when something bad happens, you’re always told to see the bright side of things? That maybe that unfortunate event isn’t as bad as you feel it is? Yeah, well, that doesn’t always apply, and it certainly didn’t when I found out I was partnered with the one person I was hoping I wouldn’t get paired with for my end of the semester film project. 
Seriously, out of the nearly hundred students that were enrolled in my film class, I had to get paired up with him, him out of all people, literally the one person I was praying wouldn't get paired up with. Not only because I was forced to work with someone, because honestly all I wanted was to work alone, I had to get paired with Matthew fucking Gubler.
You know when people say God has his favourites? Yeah, well I certainly wasn't one of them.
Now, I didn’t necessarily hate Matthew Gubler. I didn't hate him for no reason, I didn't just wake up one day and decided I was just going to hate Matthew. There was a time where I actually liked him, I liked him more than I'd like to admit, deep down I still did. And I knew he liked me too, he did then at least. And we were good together, it was fun, we had a fun first couple of dates. To this day, they were the nicest dates I ever had, because he knew just how to make them special. I mean, when a guy takes you to the Neue Galerie here in New York and have nice long walk through Central Park, a walk filled with laughter and bliss, it has to be special, and in a weird way, he was special too. 
And as much as I wanted more than just two or three dates, I would've been perfectly fine if he had told me what he wanted from the start. If he had suddenly changed his mind about me, I would've accepted it, and I would've been able to live a happy life as his friend if that's what he wanted.
But he didn't, and instead I found out he had other interests. And I didn't hear it from him, I heard it from my friend. She didn't even need to tell me who it was, because the minute she told me where he took her, I knew. He took her to the same place he took me not even two weeks later and then acted like I was nothing the next time he saw me. And my god did that fucking hurt. It hurt me in a way I had never been hurt before, because I thought he was different, I was hoping he was. And convincing myself that I hated him was much easier than facing the fact that it hurt. And I never addressed it ever again, not that Matthew cared enough to actually talk about us, or, whatever we were. So instead we just made each other's existence miserable.
No, what I felt for Matthew wasn't hate, it was just the strong need to stay ten feet away from him so I wouldn't shove a five foot pole up his ass. That's how I felt about Matthew Gubler.
And now, here I was, aggressively shoving my laptop and notebook into my bag so I could leave the auditorium as quickly as possible, or at least quick enough to avoid Matthew, because knowing how he was, he would come straight to me to rub our partnership in my face. And I was right, because the minute we were dismissed, I spotted his lanky frame starting to come down from the top rows where he usually sat, and he was headed my way.
Screaming a big nope in my head, I strapped my bag over my shoulder and headed straight for the exit. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, especially now but, I just needed a minute to mentally prepare myself to deal with him, a minute and probably a bottle of booze. But I didn't get either because the minute I was out those doors, I heard the unmistakable sound of his voice calling my name. 
Great.
"Y/N! Y/N wait!" I heard Matthew call out, followed my rushed footsteps coming from behind me.
"Hey, partner, I'm glad I caught you before you left. You weren't trying to run away from me were you?" He teased, throwing one of his particularly long arms over my shoulder.
If I had rolled my eyes any harder they probably would've gotten stuck there. I groaned, grabbing a hold of his arm and unwrapping it not so subtly before dropping it beside him, "first of all, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't touch me,  and second of all, just please go away, Matthew. I have a class I have to get to." I muttered, walking slightly faster and keeping my gaze forward, refusing to even look at him.
If there was something I've learned about Matthew in the two long years I've known him is that he usually goes away on his own if I don't give him the attention he wanted. I was hoping this was one of those times, because I was not in the mood to deal with him right now.
But alas, he didn't, he walked faster, staying beside me the whole time. "But I wasn't even doing anything. I was just saying hi." He defended, and I could just hear the smile on his face even when I wasn't even looking at him. 
I rolled my eyes harder, letting out a small breath through my lips, "what do you want Matthew?"
"When can we meet up? I already have an idea for our project and I think you're going to love it."
I chuckled sarcastically, finding his words actually hilarious, "If you came up with it I seriously doubt it." I sighed heavily, digging my teeth into my bottom lip before speaking, "tonight after I finish my shift, I guess. The quicker we can start, the quicker we can get it over with, soo..."
"Great. It's a date then, see you tonight, sweetheart." He hummed, ghosting his lips over my ear, his lips smacking loudly as he pretended to kiss it before he quickly took off in the other direction before I could even say anything.
This fucking guy.
~~~~~~~~~~
"I seriously do not understand how you fucking dated this guy, he's so obnoxious and annoying, how could anyone want to date someone like that." I complained to my friend and roommate Liz. I met her for a quick lunch break before my afternoon class and I just had to let her know how unhappy I was about my partnership with Matthew. She was amused to say the least.
"You make it sound like we dated for years, we dated for a few months, but he's not even that bad." she argued.
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and leaned back into my seat with an unamused expression, just waiting for Liz to bury herself further up Matthew's ass. I always had the feeling she still had feelings for him, as much as she insisted it was just a meaningless relationship. And as much as they were just friends now, I just knew she wanted more with him. But it wasn't really my place to question that, not that it mattered to me anyway.
"He's a pretty cool and fun guy to be around, you just never gave him a chance. You've hated him ever since you met him for absolutely no reason, you never gave yourself the chance to get to know him better." Liz insisted, she always did. She always insisted Matthew was such a great guy I never gave the change to get to know. 
I had let out a heavy sigh in annoyance of her defense of Matthew before responding, "yeah well, it doesn't really matter since I'm being forced to anyway. And he's coming over tonight to start our project. Can't fucking wait."
I could've sworn I saw Liz's expression change into a mixture of surprise and something I could've easily confused with jealousy. She pursed her lips together and her eyes darted everywhere, like she was avoiding making any kind of eye contact with me.
But, it couldn't be jealousy? What even is there to be jealous of? Her and the whole world knew how I felt about Matthew, her out of all people knew it better than anyone.
"Oh, he is? Well, I'm not really going to be home tonight, I would've given you company so it wouldn't be so awkward with him." She frowned, she sounded disappointed, angry even. She looked uncomfortable, like she was deeply bothered by something, by something I said.
It was weird, I wasn't exactly sure what to say, I wasn't really sure why my news seemed to bother her as much as it did. It's not like I was going to sleep with Matthew while she was away or something. It didn't really matter though, I didn't have time to answer. Thank God.
"I'm sorry Liz but I have to go, I have class in like ten minutes." I excused myself, eating whatever was left on my plate in a matter of seconds before I stood up from my seat and gathered my belongings, "I'll see you later and wish me luck." I said quickly before taking off, not giving her the chance to respond.
~~~~~~~~~~
Usually, I pray for shifts to be over as soon as possible, for it to be slow so I can go home early. Today though, today I prayed for just the opposite. I was hoping the end of my shift wouldn't come, and when it did, that it would be too late and I would be able to cancel my meet up with Matthew.
But like I said, I wasn't one of God's favourites. And today out of all days, it was the slowest it has ever been and my shift ended rather quickly, quicker than I had hoped.
Groaning loudly at the evening that awaited me, I walked down the long halls of my floor, standing outside of my dorm room, dreading my evening already.
Figuring I should just get it over with, I went to get the key on the lock of my door, but noticed it was already unlocked. Liz probably forgot to lock the door, again. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at my stupid roommate before turning the knob, opening the door. And my jaw dropped the minute I stepped into the room, not believing what my eyes saw.
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
"Matthew, what the fuck are you doing in my dorm and in my bed!? How did you even get in here?" I nearly screamed at the tall brunette that was carelessly laying on my bed with what I figured was one of my books in his hand.
Matthew turned his head towards me, a carefree and calm look plastered all over his face before his eyes went back to the pages in front of him., "oh, well, Liz let me in before she went to work. I hope you don't mind." He responded nonchalantly, continuing to flick through the pages of the book he had in his hand.
I stared at him with absolute disbelief and a loud scoff left my lips as I slightly pitched the bridge of my nose, trying not to throw the nearest object at his face, "yes, I do mind, in fact. You can't just come into somebody's dorm, lie on their bed and go through their stuff. Seriously dude, what is wrong with you?"
I just couldn't believe this guy. He just knew how to get on my nerves without even doing anything. 
Matthew, of course, couldn't have cared any less about whatever I was saying. And it wasn't that he wasn't listening, because he was, he had that stupid smile on his face that proved he was in fact listening to every word I was saying. He just didn't care, or he did, but he just liked getting on my nerves. He loved pushing every single one of my buttons until I snapped. And I had no idea why. I had no idea why he liked annoying me so much.
I exhaled heavily through my nose, closing my eyes slightly as I ran a hand through my hair exasperatedly, "I just can't fucking deal with you. I can't." I huffed, dropping my bag from my shoulder and walked to the opposite side of my room, facing away from him, not even wanting to look at his face.
"Tell me something, sweetheart," Matthew spoke, curiosity and a slight bit of amusement lingering on his words.
"What."
"Why do you hate me so much? You've hated me ever since I dated Liz back in our first year of college and I never truly understood why," he questioned with genuine curiosity, but there was also a certain playfulness in his voice. I opened my mouth to answer, still not facing him, and I was so ready to tell him off, god knows I've been wanting to but he cut me off. "Is it because I never slept with you?"
My eyes instantly widened at his words, a clearly offended scoff leaving my lips as I turned around to face him, "what? No, of course not, I—" my words got caught in my throat when I saw his tall frame towering over me, my eyes getting stuck on his chest before they traveled up to his face, and he was close. Extremely close. I swallowed thickly, feeling slightly cornered by his significantly taller frame so I stepped back, trying to create some kind of distance between us, but he simply followed me. "I, uhm, that's not why I don't like you, Matthew. I don't like you because you're an insensitive asshole and—"
"Oh, I know why you hate me," he cut me off again, slowly running his tongue to wet his perfectly pink lips. "You hate me because I dated Liz and not you."
His proclamation made my eyes grow even wider and my mouth hung open as I stammered for words. I wanted to disagree, I truly wanted to tell him that he was wrong. But honestly, he wasn't altogether wrong. I couldn't say some of my resentment didn't come from a deep rooted feeling of rejection. Because while most of that resentment came from that place of genuine hurt, my resentment was fueled by frustration and a shameless sense of envy.
But it was just easier to convince myself that I hated him than to admit that I still liked him and that it hurt me that he chose my friend over me.
But of course, I would never admit to that, especially not to him.
Avoiding eye contact, I looked down and shook my head, running my tongue to wet my suddenly dry lips, "of-of course not. Why—why would I care about your dating life? You can fuck whoever you want, I don't care." I wish I sounded more confident when I said that. But my stuttering words and my unsteady legs gave him exactly what he wanted.
And the bastard actually chuckled. He fucking chuckled.
"But you do, you do care. You care because you haven't stopped thinking about us and me since our first year." He grinned, digging his teeth into his perfect lips as he brought a hand to cup my face, lifting it so I had no other choice but to look at him.
And I was fucking gone.
It was like, all of that anger, frustration and hatred just vanished and instead turned into longing want. Want for him to just take me and do whatever he pleases with me. I was practically nothing in his hands, and I was nothing waiting for him to make me something. Waiting for him to make me his.
And that absolutely delighted the bastard. He found amusement in having the power I never allowed him to have. But right now, I just couldn't fight it.
I always knew that if I ever found myself alone and in this situation with Matthew Gubler, I would lose, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise.
And he knew that too.
"That's it, isn't? You want me to fuck you like I fucked your friend." He smirked, almost like he was proud to say it. And he stared, his usually soft amber eyes now brown and darkened with want.
Who the fuck was this guy and where did Matthew go? Matthew Gubler was the most awkward and disgraceful guy when it came to women. The poor guy couldn't even flirt his way out of a wet paper bag. And yet, somehow, here he was, with this new found confidence and the ability to turn me into a shaking and stuttering mess. Who fucking knew.
Once again, I stammered for words, I truly wanted to tell him otherwise. I wanted to scream in his face and push him away, but I couldn't. Not that I wanted to.
He took my lack of response as the answer he was looking for and brought his other hand to my waist, backing me up against the nearest wall, caging me between the hard surface behind me and his body, which right now, seemed so much bigger than mine.
My breathing instantly skyrocketed as I felt the same hand that was on my waist sneak its way past the ends of my dress and up my bare thighs, ones that shook like an earthquake as the pads of his fingers slowly rubbed the tense skin. Like he was testing the waters. Testing how well my body reacted to his touch.
And it wasn't subtle. At all.
"W-what—what are you doing?" I almost squealed, my voice practically betraying me.
"Oh? Well, I'm just giving you what you wanted. I'm giving you what you've been wanting for years." He stated so casually, like he had no idea what he was doing to me. And just as casually, he slowly ran a finger over the thin cotton fabric of my underwear, touching me, but definitely not in the way I needed to be touched.
I wished my body didn't betray me like it did though. I couldn't even hold back the breathy moan that escaped my lips when his fingers made contact with the thin material. But Matthew certainly loved the response I gave him.
"Because this is what you've been wanting, isn't it? You've been thinking about how my fingers would feel buried inside your little cunt. Or how good you would feel around my cock." He taunted, it was almost cynical just how easily those filthy words rolled off his usually reserved tongue. "I'm not gonna lie, I've thought about it too, you have no idea how many times I've thought about having your filthy mouth wrapped around me. Or how pretty you would look begging me for more." 
I opened my mouth to speak but my words instantly got caught in my throat when the sneaky bastard pulled the fabric to the side and dipped his fingers into the soaking mess that was my core.
And if there were any rational thoughts still hanging in my head, all of those just went straight out the window when another moan erupted from my throat and my head fell back into the wall behind me.
"See just how much easier things are when you just shut the fuck up and stop fighting so much?" He almost whispered, his lips ghosting over the skin on my neck as a lithe finger gathered my wetness and spread it over my clit.
Despite being a complete whimpering mess at that point, I managed to spit out a surprisingly harsh, "fuck you." 
It was a pretty convincing retort. One that didn't exactly have the effect I hoped for though.
I could feel him smirk into my neck as his lips left wet and sloppy kisses into the skin before he pulled back, just so he could see the look of utter want and frustration on my face.
"Hm, sorry sweetheart, I can't do that. I'm too busy trying to fuck you instead."
I swear to god, he was the biggest asshole I have ever met in my entire fucking life. But he was an asshole who immediately slipped two of his sinfully long fingers into my dripping core. I instantly choked on my own breath as he began working his fingers around the muscles, stroking the digits inside me at an agonizingly slow pace.
"Because that's what you want don't you sweetheart? You want to me to fuck you into that mattress until you can't keep your eyes open?" He continued, his filthy words making me pant like I ran for fucking miles. "I do too, trust me I do. And I will, I promise. But I want to make up for all of the lost time. Don't you?"
I wasn't even paying attention to whatever filthy proclamations were coming out of Matthew's mouth, with my eyes nearly closed, my mouth slightly open and my mind only focusing on his fingers working diligently inside me, how could I?
But Matthew was expecting an answer this time. Because I could feel his darkened eyes glare into my face and his fingers immediately stilled inside me. Earning a loud whine from me.
"I asked you a question, answer me."
It took me a minute to remember his question before I quickly nodded, "yes! Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear?" I nearly screamed at his face, my hands coming to clutch his shirt, needing something to relieve some tension.
"I want to hear you say it. Say it, tell me you want me." He demanded, his eyes locking with mine as he waited for what he wanted to hear.
He wanted me to beg, he wanted me to give up that control I never allowed him to have. And was I going to?
Absolutely.
I needed to.
"I want you, Matthew, I want you to take me and fuck me into that mattress until I can't walk straight. Please."
I guess that was the answer Matthew had been looking for because his fingers immediately began to work diligently inside me again, stroking the digits until he had me whimpering and begging for release.
It wasn't long before my head started to spin and stars began to blur my vision. Words were no longer an option at that point, nothing would come out, not even Matthew's name. All I could manage to let out were pathetic, strangled moans. But he could tell I was close, or I figured that much because his fingers only worked faster around my tightening walls, determined to finish me.
"C'mon sweetheart, come for me." he encouraged through gritted teeth as his fingers were anything but still inside me and his palm applied a crushing pressure into my front. And even when my eyes were half closed and my mind had turned into dust, I could see the look of utter determination on his face, his eyebrows were furrowed as his teeth dug into his perfectly plump lips. It was like his only focus was on driving me over the edge. And he succeeded.
The second his fingers curled, I was fucking gone. My orgasm hit me like a tidal wave. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I cried out his name like a praise, my body nearly spasming against the wall. But his fingers didn't stop until my whole body shook to the point where my legs no longer supported my weight and I practically slid into the wall as I tried to catch my breath.
It was almost dizzying just how quickly Matthew withdrew his fingers from me and hoisted me up on his slim torso. He wasted absolutely no time in striding over to my bed across the room. My whole body collided with my bed so quickly and forcefully it knocked the air out of my chest.
Matthew was practically ripping away his clothes before I could even sit up or catch my breath. Like he had this urgency to do what I've been avoiding for the past two years. Like he needed to do it, right now, like something would happen before he got the chance to.
"Matthew—"
"Shut up, I've heard enough shit from you for the past two years, and I'm fucking tired of it." He almost growled, his usually soft voice coming out so low and dark it actually stroked fear in my heart. It was scary just how quickly his demeanor changed.
Matthew didn't really waste much time in discarding his clothes, he was down to only his boxers and was on top of me before I could even blink. He brought a hand to my chest and he pushed me down until my back was flat on the bed, but his hand stayed there, pinning me there as he hovered over me, trapping my significantly smaller body under his own.
He wasted no time in grabbing a hold of my dress and pulling it over my head. And I could've sworn I saw pure awe and infatuation flash through his eyes as they shamelessly eyed over my newly exposed skin. Come to think of it though, this was the first time I was this naked in front of him, and even then, I wasn't fully naked. Not yet anyway.
After a good minute, his eyes flickered back up to meet with mine, his previous look of awe quickly replaced by this feral look of want and pure desire. And I couldn't say it didn't excite me to see it.
He brought a hand to my face, running his smooth fingers over my face with a surprising amount of delicacy before he deep rooted them into my hair and slightly tilted my head back before he brought his face into mine, our lips crashing into a deep fervent kiss. I didn't realize we have never actually kissed. No wonder there was so much desperation and hunger within that kiss. We've been wanting this ever since we met, and ironically, I wanted it more.
His mouth was harsh and fervent against mine, his tongue wasting no time before it quickly slipped between my lips without much of a warning. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth and took as much control as he wanted to as he brought one of his hands to discard my brassiere, he struggled a bit at first but he managed to unhook it and discarded the flimsy material along with the rest of forgotten clothes. He pulled back to capture the image of my newly exposed skin. And he wasn't subtle, at all.
I almost felt intimidated under his deep and penetrating gaze as he shamelessly ogled my exposed body. I was completely exposed to him, completely vulnerable and right now, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with me. And that scared me, it scared me just how quickly he took control over me after years of fighting against it.
With a hard swallow and a bob of his Adam's apple, Matthew slowly licked his lips, scraping his teeth against his slightly swollen bottom lip in a way that almost made me roll my eyes back into my head. But I didn't, instead I just locked eyes with him as he brought his face down and wrapped his lips around one of my breasts and his tongue swirled around the sensitive bud almost expertly, using one of his hands to toy with the other.
"O-oh fuck." I couldn't help but helplessly moan into the air as my hands found their way into his mop of brown curls. This reaction certainly delighted the bastard above me because I could feel his eyes burning into my face and his lips curving into a smirk around me before he slowly pulled back, latching on to my nipple as he pulled off it.
"You have a very filthy mouth, jeez." He tisked, slightly shaking his head disaprovingly but still had that fucking smirk of his.
Clearly, I wasn't amused, in the slightest, so his stupid comment earned him a nice and concise, "fuck you." 
But then again, it didn't have the effect I hoped for.
"Mhm, yeah, you're about to." He retorted one last time before bringing his face back up to mine, capturing me in a heated and messy kiss that only worked as distraction from the journey Matthew's hands took down south. I was only brought back to reality when I felt my underwear being ripped away and the cool air hitting me. And he was quick to pull down his own boxers and allowed his length to spring free. And I couldn't even play off the fact that I had to stare, my mouth slightly hanging open at the sight of him.
"You're so cute when you stare." He taunted, his words being fairly tame in contrast to his very dark and not innocent tone. The sound of his voice made me flicker my eyes to meet his face. Big mistake, because the borderline devious smirk on his face didn't help, at all. And it certainly didn't help when he positioned himself between my legs, rubbing himself on my already dripping heat.
"You do have condoms here, right?" He asked, but I wasn't paying attention, with him rubbing himself on my slick, I couldn't really pay much attention to anything. "I could just fuck you bareback, I'm clean, so I don't care. But it's up to you." He spoke again, slightly teasing my entrance with the tip of his length, hoping to actually get my attention, and I actually listened this time.
Biting my lip, I mentally cursed at my lack of sexual activity because it just so happened that I had no condoms. Matthew gave me an expectant look, not to pressure me, but just waiting impatiently. I knew if I told him to stop he would without a second thought, but he would just leave. I wasn't going to make that mistake twice.
"I'm clean too, just," I chewed on my bottom lip, already shuddering with anticipation as I hooked my legs around his slim torso, pulling him closer, "just take me, please just fucking take me already."
I didn't have to say it twice.
Without a second thought, he propped himself up on his arms and pressed his face against mine as he slammed into me in one swift motion. A strangled moan erupted from my throat as he buried himself to the hilt, stretching me open at once. And fuck, the feeling of him inside me was intoxicating, addicting even, I don't think I've ever felt like this before.
This was so fucking wrong. So wrong, so wrong to be fucking the guy my friend dated, so wrong to be fucking the guy I swore to everyone I hated. It was just wrong. So why the hell did it feel so right? It was so perfectly right the way our bodies felt together, like they simply belonged there, buried deeply within one another. I never wanted to stop feeling like this.
It was almost dizzying just how good he felt. And with the quick and fervent pace he set for himself right from the start, I knew I probably wouldn't last long. With my eyes rolled into my head, my open mouth and my body sprawled out on the bed as I tried to find something to hold on to, he probably had one hell of a view. And he enjoyed it too, because his thrusts only became harsher.
"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so fucking beautiful," he cursed through gritted teeth, his hands holding my hips down with a vice like grip, making sure I couldn't move. And it wasn't for lack of trying. My body shook and shuddered like a fucking earthquake around him but he simply held me down as he continued.
"You feel so good too. I can't believe you made me wait two fucking years for this. Fuck." He nearly shouted, slamming into me with an insane amount of force and clenched his eyes shut, almost as if the thought made him angry, "two fucking years to take what was mine."
His. He called me his.
Fuck, I wish those filthy words didn't have such a strong effect on me, but boy did they make a number on me. I couldn't even hold back the guttural cry that erupted from my chest as I nodded feverishly, not really realizing what I was nodding to. 
"Yes! Fuck yes, Matthew, I'm yours!" I almost screamed, saying whatever incoherent thoughts flashed through my mind, letting the whole floor know just how much fun I was having and with whom. And with my mind and thoughts being too clouded by the feeling of him, I didn't even think about what those words entailed.
But it didn't matter because they served their purpose regardless. I wasn't expecting just how much the words actually affected him, because his hips began to falter, his thrusts becoming longer but impossibly deeper. And I could see how concentrated he was, with sweat forming on his forehead, his teeth digging into his bottom lip and his breath was hard and short, like this was a task he was determined to finish. He was determined to ruin me.
Letting out a guttural and nearly animalistic groan, Matthew grabbed a hold of my hips and raised them so that each thrust would make him bottom out inside of me, knowing just how close we both were to our release. "Yeah, that's right, sweetheart, let the whole floor know who's making you feel this good," he growled as he gave one last final but brutal thrust, digging his fingers into my hips so tight I just knew I would have bruises tomorrow as he held me down on him, "let the whole floor know you're mine."
And just like that, my orgasm crashed into me, Matthew's harsh words of ownership sending me into a euphoric state of pleasure, my lips chanting his name like a mantra and my walls tightening around him as he came deeply into me, my own name rolling off his tongue in a quiet praise. And the utter and absolute look of ecstasy on his face made up for the bruises I would have to hide for the next few days and for the two years we've made each other's life a living hell. Because right now, seeing that look of being completely fucked, I just wanted nothing more than to just stay like this.
The second we were no longer blinded by our highs, he fell forward, nearly crushing me under his weight as he struggled to get himself up. Yeah he looked fucked alright. Despite knowing damn well he could've easily rolled off me, he didn't, he simply rested his head on my chest and closed his eyes like he was just going to sleep there. A small smile made its way to my lips at the sight of his tousled brown curls on my chest, ignoring all logic, I ran my fingers through the messy locks, and they were in fact as soft as they always looked. 
Realizing just how bad this was for me, and just how vulnerable I actually looked, I smacked his forehead, successfully earning a glare from him once he lifted his head, looking dead at me with his now soft amber eyes.
"You're crushing me, you ass, get off." I breathed out and rolled my eyes, being too exhausted to try and get him off myself. And knowing just how easily he corrupted me, I didn't need another thing to make this harder.
"Okay, okay, jeez." Matthew rolled his eyes, letting his head back into my chest exhaustively and groaned tiredly into my chest before he gathered just enough strength to roll off me and collapsed beside me, his reddened and sweaty chest still rising and falling unevenly as he was still trying to steady his breathing. And I was trying, too. And we just stared, we stared at each other, saying nothing. There was nothing to be said. It was better that way.
After a long long while of silently staring at each other, he brought a hand to my face and rested it there, his thumb mindlessly rubbing over the warm skin of my cheek and he smiled, he simply smiled. And it felt good, it felt comforting, sweet even, it was a funny contrast after what he just did to me.
"So.. About our project.."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag list:
Matthew Gray Gubler
All- @aberrant-annie @marauder-exe @vquezada84 @boiled-onionrings @writeronkeyboard @l0ve-0f-my-life @mariaramz @soederberg
OUaT in NYU-
So I'm starting a tag list for this fic because it will be a mini series so let me know if you'd like to be added to the once upon in NYU tag list
315 notes · View notes
storywriting · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
[ Bc yall have foolishly greenlit my Nirvash Headcanon production, here is a general discussion of who I think Nirvash is and I’ll thank you to give me excuses to be more specific. ]
First things first. The Nirvash is the first creature Eureka ever had a conversation with or considered her friend. While Eureka had to learn to speak to people, the ability to communicate with her own kind is one of the few things she was born knowing, so she took to Nirvash right away. The Nirvash is unfortunately one of the main factors that ended up landing her as an emotionally stunted military dog instead of having a normal life where she is nurtured and fully educated by humans. I honestly think if the folks in the lab hadn’t realized her piloting potential, Eureka would have been raised as a completely different person. Since science had never been able to crack the Nirvash typeZERO, she was very valuable to have. They didn’t waste their budget on anything else once they knew that.
I also think the Nirvash had never been called Nirvash by people prior to the discovery of Eureka. Nirvash was exclusively called the typeZERO until Eureka was able to communicate enough to tell humans the name.
Vaguely related, Eureka’s name is also not human given because she is named after an event experienced by the scub coral and it doesn’t make sense to me that humans in 11005 or whatever would think to name her after something that happened in like 2005.  Eureka’s name comes from the very first time Scub Coral entered Earth’s atmosphere, where it crashed into a satellite and was forced to make a home in the Earth’s oceans. Based on what Sakuya says, it’s likely that the whole of the coralian system became aware when it was decided Eureka would be born. Nirvash likely told Eureka her own name if she didn’t already know it herself.
Tumblr media
Archetypes are sexless, so as one might expect, Nirvash doesn’t have a particular concept or interest in gender identity. Eureka calls Nirvash “he” in the original series dub and “she” in all future adaptations. I suspect that using “he” might have originally been a mistake by the localization team since Nirvash isn’t voiced until the very end and the Japanese language doesn't really ever require a speaker to designate a gendered pronoun. Whether it was a mistake or on purpose, I tend to explain this by just saying that Eureka copied the words other people used whenever she would personify the Nirvash to them. That would be in line with her character.
Eureka also speaks about Nirvash like a child quite often even though Nirvash is most certainly an older life form than she is. I suspect this is to do with a difference in experience and the higher barriers of understanding for a creature like Nirvash. Put simply, Nirvash is a less developed creature than Eureka is.
In the AU movie archetypes arent the same type of creature as in the main series--they were made or evolved differently.  In the film, the Larval Nirvash is somewhat intelligent. Larval Nirvash pays attention to people and tries to participate in conversations despite being unable speak. 10/10 very tiny and cute and runs around, always doing their best.
Tumblr media
I honestly believe that main series Nirvash has a similar temperament and level of intelligence to this AU iteration.  Also, the way Eureka speaks about Nirvash, like a child, in my mind supports the idea that the Nirvash is capable only of very simple thoughts and ideas early on. Nirvash isn't enlightened, per se. At least not at the beginning. Nirvash is a failed attempt at making a person. It makes sense that Nirvash would be less advanced.  If we could hear Nirvash's early conversations with Eureka, I suspect Nirvash's interests and concerns would sound pretty simplistic. I hesitate to compare Nirvash to any stage of human development tbh, mostly because it seems like Nirvash is very intelligent about certain things (like in battle, Nirvash makes very strategic choices), but probably couldn't even match a toddler on other things. Emotional intelligence, for example, is probably something that takes a while for Nirvash to pick up even the tiniest shred of.  Still, Nirvash's wants and feelings do seem to become slightly less simplistic over time. Still simple compared to a person, but the feedback Eureka gives originally is like "nirvash is happy" and by the end it's more like "nirvash feels x complex way because of what they did when x happened and how it turned out". Put simply, Nirvash knows what Nirvash knows, but not much else. Nirvash is maybe like Eureka in that regard. They're in their own weird stage of development where some of their stats are maxed and some of them are like...what are you even doing.  I also pretty strongly headcanon that, like Eureka, Nirvash's understanding of the world and of humans is growing as the series progresses, which I think is fairly substantiated but rarely addressed directly.
As the audience we don't get to see the way Nirvash communicates very often, especially not in any direct easy-to-be-understood-by-people fashion. If you want to learn anything about Nirvash as a viewer you have to speculate based on the few times Nirvash displays some will of her own, or go by the very little information Eureka gives about what Nirvash is thinking. Eureka is somewhat private about her relationship with Nirvash at times, which I find interesting, but that’s a topic for another post.
I pretty strongly headcanon that Nirvash sort of dislikes people, or at the very least, mistrusts the ones she doesn’t know.  I believe this because Nirvash outright refuses to be piloted, even by people with compac drives.  Compac drives are the "keys" humans use to communicate with LFOs, but LFOs cant really communicate back. We know that Nirvash for whatever reason really didnt want to be piloted, but then Nirvash met Eureka and felt willing to activate for her because they could converse and agree on things. No compac drive required for that.  Nirvash will fly for Eureka because they can have a relationship that is a two way street.  It doesn’t require the kind of faith Nirvash would need to let a human do whatever they wanted.
I suspect when Eureka is piloting there is a lot of give and take. They're discussing what they should do.  They compromise on a course of action by combining their understanding.  The trouble any time there is something going on between the Nirvash and Eureka is that it's not a conversation the audience gets to hear. We just have to watch and do our best to interpret
I think that over time Nirvash comes to appreciate and even like some humans and seeks methods of communication with ones she vibes with.  Ultimately the Nirvash does become more able to understand and commune with people because Eureka acts as a cultural bridge between them.   I really like the idea that Nirvash becomes interested in communicating with humans in the limited ways available to her, but only after spending a lot of time with Eureka and taking a shine to Renton. I also know the show gives Nirvash a clear human sounding voice that makes understandable words but I honestly hc that Nirvash sounds more abstract than that in most situation. Like idk, machine noises, Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites™ or something like that.  I think if a human was able to hear Nirvash in any passive sort of way, it probably wouldn’t really sound like language. Eureka can always understand Nirvash but if you're Renton or maybe Ao just hanging around and are somehow catching bits and pieces of that consciousness floating in the air it's gonna feel weird and garbled in your brain unless you're able to make that more direct connection with the Nirvash somehow. It's just not natural to humans, it's not their first language.
Tumblr media
On the subject of Nirvash getting on with humans, there is eventually a situation where Renton has to pilot the Nirvash himself. This is on the tail end of Eureka being really down and not really explaining why.  Sometimes when she touches the Nirvash she starts to bleed and it becomes clear that The Girls Are Fighting™️. When Eureka sees Renton piloting she is taken aback by the fact that Nirvash would allow somebody other than her to pilot alone. Also, she comments on how that's 'not Nirvash's style'. It's left ambiguous what exactly her meaning is there, but she becomes pretty upset. There are a few ways I've interpreted it, though it's hard to pin down exactly. One possibility is that she’s upset because Renton and Nirvash Did A Violence. Alternatively it could be because the fighting Eureka saw from them was obviously more of Renton's own will than the give and take she prefers with the Nirvash. Another option is that Renton is not imposing his will, but rather bringing out something in Nirvash Eureka doesn't recognize and isn't comfortable with being a stranger to. Eureka is at this point very stressed that the Nirvash wont talk to her. She seems to go from very excited that Renton makes the Nirvash happy to very distressed that Renton is changing her relationship with the Nirvash. Nirvash is probably one of the only relationships Eureka has where she is comfortable and feels she is on the same page nearly all the time, so it's jarring for that to be challenged or changed. 
A lot of the conflict with nirvash is never clarified in stone, but we know for sure that Renton causes Eureka to change and that's a big deal for everybody involved. Nirvash and Eureka don't really know change before this.  In terms of Nirvash’s opinion, we know mostly about the parts Eureka reacts to, but if you think about it we dont really find out why Nirvash likes Renton in the first place or what initially caused Nirvash to becomes less open with Eureka. It's hard to place exactly what the conflict is. Just that it involves Renton and it involves this change. Despite Eureka being the best creature humanty has for communicating with Archetypes there are still certain barriers between them. They are the same creature, but theyre vastly different versions of the same creature with vastly different capabilities and experiences. Nirvash and Eureka will inevitably end up in situations where they don’t see eye to eye if for no other reason than their mental and sensory experience is vastly different from one another. I suspect that Nirvash is at times jealous of Eureka going off and having experiences and relationships with others, in the same way Eureka gets jealous when Nirvash seems to prefer Renton over her.
That all said, I do think Nirvash does have some sense of right and wrong even without Eureka’s guidance, but Eureka shows evidence of chiding or suggesting morality to the Nirvash throughout. Things like compassion and a moral compass seem to be way more pronounced for Nirvash later on in the series, after like 40 episodes of bonding and getting into and out of trouble together.  Again, we can’t know all the details because the audience doesn’t get any unfiltered version of Nirvash’s perspective, but we know for sure that Eureka (and eventually Renton) is very very important to her even when the they are in conflict. In turn, Eureka regularly demonstrates that she trusts Nirvash implicitly and seems to respect Nirvash's judgement in many kinds of situations. The Nirvash is a member of the family through and through. She’s always down to help the cause, and she appreciates the great privilege involved in having a front row seat to Eureka’s experience. The Nivash has had an unprecedented opportunity to become enlightened about other creatures in ways the rest of the Scub Coral could not. In another life Nirvash could have had any number of destinies, possibly even safer ones with less strife and less change. She was never essential to the plan of putting yet another humanoid coralian into the world and could have moved for anybody else and had a completely different life. Maybe in times of conflict Nirvash thinks about that, but if there’s one thing that’s canon as hell I know that Nirvash would never trade away being loved by the Storywriter.
We stan a queen.
5 notes · View notes
chocafe · 5 years
Text
— jyunhao as your boyfriend
pairing: boyfriend!jyunhao x reader a/n: requested by three anons who rule the jyunhao nation! i apologize in advance for any mistakes you find in this since i’m writing this at one in the morning. nonetheless, i hope everyone enjoys this :-)
Tumblr media
such a smiley little baby!!!
when jyunhao first had a crush on you
he would not stop telling everyone about it
jihoon is over here BEGGING for jyunhao to talk about something different
whenever jyunhao would tell someone about his interest for you, he would tell them to keep it a secret
but the thing was that he was pretty horrible at keeping his OWN secret
you eventually found out due to jyunhao’s big voice
“jyunhao, do you like me?”
“of course!” he confidently declared without taking a second to hesitate
your mind: S(&eYWYGT25#^@5# HUUUUHHHHHHHH HE ADMITTED TO IT THAT QUICK???? 37^$*)$^&*#)
you on the outside: oh well that’s nice
you’re there to help jyunhao study korean
you help quiz him on some vocabulary words, help him with his writing and you overall just support him!
in return, he gives you an endless amount of kisses
and he even brings snacks, enough for you two, to every study session
“let me take you out this weekend! it’ll make up for the whole day you spent studying with me.”
“no, it’s okay! next time, just bring some more chips and that’ll be enough for me!!!”
he uses a crazy amount of heart emojis whenever he texts you
because he’s pretty soft for you afterall
[txt] jyunhao: love you 💙💚💛🧡❤️
[txt] jyunhao: i can’t wait to see you tomorrow! 💗😊
[txt] jyunhao: i might be late to our date because yunseo just started a fire in the bathroom 💝💕
[txt] you: omg alexa, play blackpink’s playing with fire
jyunhao knows how handsome he is
and on top of that, he knows how beautiful you are too
he loves to take pictures of you two together
but! you two must be smiling in the picture
if you’re not smiling, then he would retake the photo
or he would whine like a little child to make you smile
“y/n, can you please smile? do it one time just for me~”
not only that, but he enjoys taking unexpected photos of you when you’re in the middle of laughing or when you’re genuinely smiling in the moment
you always question him, wondering why he’s randomly taking photos of you without mentioning it
the sole reason is that jyunhao just finds it absolutely lovely
he’s able to go back into his camera roll and look at the pictures of you smiling in the moment of your happiness
in his opinion, candid photos like these are much more better than the photos you take when you’re forcing yourself to smile
he would rather look at the “caught off guard” photos of you smiling
tldr: your happiness makes him happy and he loves every little bit of it
he has no problem showcasing his love and admiration for you
he does it pretty often and verbally
by saying things such as
“you’re honestly the best person in this whole entire world. man, what did i do to deserve you?”
“i love you. is it crazy that i can already see a future for us?”
“you’re so beautiful! like really really really really really beautiful. red velvet’s irene is literally shaking because she wishes she could be as beautiful as you.”
the next moment yedam is running into the room all like “i need u to speak up what did yall just say about my god irene”
within jyunhao’s bag, there is a wrapped up spoon he brings everywhere with him
dont question me about this go question ur man jyunhao
so he can eat whenever he wants to
meaning, that he’s always down to eat
especially when he’s with you
dates with you two always include food in one way or another
you guys would go get ice cream, visit a pretty cafe (while ordering a variety of sweets) and also go the night market during the weekends (that is filled with yummy street food)
jyunhao’s company doesn’t allow him to eat late at night or to even eat snacks when the moon has appeared in the sky
but he doesn’t care
he’s a bad bitch
every time you tell him that you’re having dinner by yourself
he sneaks out of the dorm and rushes his way to you
so you can eat within jyunhao’s presence, no longer having to eat in silence
make sure you have another plate of food set up for jyunhao (▰˘◡˘▰)
jyunhao is so dorky
and he says the most ridiculous things to you, just to score a kiss
on every single ice cream date of yours, he always pulls the same trick
and for some reason, you always fall for it
“oh! you have a bunch of ice cream on your lips!” he exclaims out loud
before you could lick your lips, which was the most easiest alternative
jyunhao leans in to press his lips onto yours
“you said i had ice cream on my lips! you’re such a liar.” you fumed in anger, acting as if you didn’t like the kiss
when in reality, you loved it
“sorry?” he halfheartedly says as he throws his arms over your shoulder, pulling you in closer to hi
there are other times where he does the same exact thing, but in a different way, so you don’t catch on
“y/n, there’s something on your cheek.” jyunhao lightly gasps as he points his index finger at your cheek
“can you get it off of me?” you asked, pondering what exactly fell onto your cheek
without putting much thought into it
it was jyunhao’s lips that fell onto your cheek
he quickly pecks your cheek before bursting into a wide smile that was filled with laughter
“i guess my lips and kiss was on your cheek this whole entire time.”
he’s so soft and cheesy
sometimes you just want to punch him because of this
but he’s you’re boyfriend (who’s crazily soft for you) so what can you really do about it? ♡ 
136 notes · View notes
yoshi-p · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media
everyone and their dog is doing it and everyone is absolutely allowed to share their opinions so i want a turn but first let me clarify:
hello im yase, been around since 1.0. I am of turkish and nogai descent and i can speak fluently in tatar, turkish but my english doesn’t hold 100% so i will be all over the place.
Unfortunately this will all be word of mouth and may be taken as vague posting, but I have experienced issues since the release of 4.0 and would like to give my opinions. I want to let this all off my chest this is just a huge vent basically so i guarantee my english will be terrible.
the most important point: NEVER EVER SPEAK FOR ANOTHER CULTURE. NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT A CULTURE YOU DON’T KNOW. YOU HAVE SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION AND I AM SO HURT.
another point is ITS A VIDEO GAME GUYS (does not apply to everything but some people really need to take a step back because people are concerned.)
Here’s the hot topic I’ll talk of first: garleans. I personally do not play one as I prefer to play characters that would never be involved in a sense with the political agenda because in real life im too stupid to comprehend anything like that so i wouldn’t even know how my character would behave with the hot topics. I really do think people need to take a step back and see that everyone who is putting in their input is making solid points but personally I would never compare them to nazi germany though I see why people are generalising. I always saw it as tsardom of russia with the use of roman influence as well, something obvious in naming conventions and the way the ranks/monarchy(?) works but it’s not so clear what the main influences of most places in this game if you have a look at the bigger picture. Without like full on spoiling, its weird to have this view to me with the knowledge that ascians are behind this. Are you implying anyone who plays or was influenced by ascians is also under this umbrella? 
Also why THE HELL WOULD YOU TAG SOMETHING KNOWING IT WOULD GET A LOT OF TRACTION AND RESPONSE THEN BE LIKE “you guys misunderstood, I was expressing my feelings” lol no. “ I don’t understand where this is coming from, and at this point, I don’t really want to.” then why did you even fucking bother do it in private dont tag it.
You are COMPLETELY valid to feeling uncomfortable, it is fine because with how much of this world we have there will be aspects some of us don’t like. You are not inclined to involve yourself with someone if they roleplay as a garlean but you do not need to start publicising it in a way that will paint the community in black and white when its truly a wider spectrum.
YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH AND WHO YOU PLAY WITH, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU NEGATIVE FEELINGS OR YOU’LL SPREAD IT TO OTHERS.
from that initial and very brief tagged post there popped up many others and new discourse is arising, opening discussions about many things which is better then being blind to it all. but if you have personal grievances with someone and you state its over, let it be over. It’s not healthy behaviour. it’s also troubling to see someone complain a lot about the game and continue to play, no one is forcing you or holding a gun to your head. take breaks if you need to and play less frequently. like, real life is so much more important and there are people in this community that prioritise relationships with players etc.
Also, please stop fucking talking about mongolian/turkic/turkish culture like you know things. 99% of the big mouths in this community are americans. like majority are white americans. 
over the course of this expansion i have had many people of varied backgrounds share with me some terrible experiences and i myself have seen some truly stupid shit. 
WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU LEARN OF OUR CULTURE AND WHERE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. DO NOT INTERPRET MEDIA AS ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CULTURE.
it is absolutely not hard to tag a post and ask around, someone will pop up. I’ve been doing my very best to let everyone i know that i can help with learning about my culture or to find someone who would be more then happy to explain and share with other cultures. But when you go off of a documentary you saw of Genghis khan or only know of the tourist white people scenes of istanbul you as a community say some TRULY dumb shit.
I like to try and be patient because i myself when approaching someone of a culture i admire and am curious about i want that in turn. But if you say to me things like “Ainu aren’t real” or “Tatar people have nothing in common with tribes from the Altai mountains” its hard to do so.
FFXIV regions are not just “Germany” “Turkey” “Mongolia”. If you think this, it’s clear to me you don’t know shit and are too lazy to explore, further just google shit its not that hard. I had someone tell me that my people could never be in this game since its “Straight up mongolia” fucks sake NO ITS NOT. The designs vary and i can see the differences in simple things like words because i actually bother to do research even coming from a turkic culture. There were some beautiful little things dropped that linked to not only my people but others like Uyghur and Altai. The only place in FFXIV i think could only have a singular influence is Kugane, because from a foreigner’s perspective that’s already interesting enough. Many people have grievances and real issues with how SE has handled Doma’s influences and no one ever talks about that. Representation for asia in media has turned into this mess of specific east asian countries, the trio that even then gets categorized into China/Japan with brief mentions of Korean culture. 
Its frustrating. There are people who are happy to teach you. Who are willing to show what is wrong with the picture.
I have read several posts about Turkey/istanbul/Antalya. Yall fuckin weird you guys seem to think its in U.A.E or some shit with how you act. It’s in the Mediterranean/Europe/Asia/Middle East and there is no such thing as a specific looking Turkish person. You claim everyone is specifically white/brown, HELL NO. It’s a mixed nation and that’s the history of the land, if you had ever fucking stepped in turkey and spoke to any person on the street they’ll say their heritage that lead them to there. People claim Ala mhigo’s influences are turkey but i have yet to see that. As someone who has lived there and has heritage there and is strongly connected to that culture, i dont see it. sure the ala mhigan gown had patternings but thats also present in my nogai culture too because parts of turkey’s society descended from the line of the Kayi tribe. Just fucking LEARN TO READ GUYS. None of you guys even know what the altai mountains mean and i could sit and explain over and over again if you let people SPEAK.
Look at Thavnairian items. We have outfits that are completely different, a full length dress and then a bustier. you can’t start generalising things in video games to be one culture you have to realise most places in this game have several influences. We don’t know a lot but everything we have been given has been varied enough to pin point it to ONLY one influence.
I don’t want to just keep going about this simply because im growing frustrated.
The thing with Viera complaints. I think some are valid but some are stupid. For one as I make this post it hasn’t even been confirmed so there is no reason for policing Viera to a severe extent. Considering all the Ivalice content in game has been an alternate universe kind of thing its dumb as shit. But feol viera being made without understanding the knowledge that people who have played rw picked up is quite frustrating. As a community, its important to help people when we have information that others may need that they cant understand the context of.
I know people are worried about them being fetishized, that is my legitimate fear too as a huge ivalice fan. But this is a repeated cycle especially when we consider generalizations like miqo’te especially seekers and belly dancing or when au ra arrived and people thought xaela were genghis khan basically. 
The game is not solid, there are so many holes in the lore and the plots and i know people hate that but we fill the gaps with our own opinions and theories. While I understand some people think we need to move forward in 2019 because “japan is xenophobic”, its a very difficult thing to do. THEY DO HIRE PEOPLE FOR CULTURE ADVISING. THEY TRAVEL OFTEN AND DEVELOP WITH THIS. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WENT ON GOOGLE AND SAID “yeah a japan land would be fun” they literally have people hired specifically for this stuff. however, at the end of the day its a company that has yet to show it can evolve with the times. Its becoming more and more evident with the recent patterns of main titles in FF and side projects having so many issues in story/lore/management. remember 1.0 basically died being absolute garbage and this is salvaged from that.
its really late and i had a terrible evening so i may not be making the most sense but theres more important things to worry about then to make this game a miserable experience when it could be a huge learning opportunity for everyone. There’s no need to generalise people into categories because of characters they choose to develop but its important to note with majority of people standing up higher on the pedestal are those speaking for the minorities groups that have direct influences in the game.
also lol if you fucking say ainu aren’t real to me one more time i will fucking throttle you
Tumblr media
40 notes · View notes