#but im not going to turn into the better version of myself that YOUUUU think i should be.

[snekdood]

probably my greatest strength is getting out of suicidal episodes by myself.

#however it makes me resent humans as you can see #i think id rather resent humans though than to needlessly punish myself just bc other ppl dont like me #whether for reasons i just dont understand. some dumb thing i said once or bc they believe bs ppl say about me #like theres no reason i have to punish myself for that. for yall like that. fuck you. #like for some of you. ill never be goodor woke enough. even if all the bs ppl make up about me is proven false. even if i clarify #what i meant when i said whatever thing bc im bad at communicating my thoughts through text. even if i became jesus fuckin christ #yall would probably still just hate me for no fucking reason. theres no way i could be good enough or perfect enough or anything #theres no way i can change and modify my behavior and stand on my head that will satisfy you. #and with that in mind. why should i give a fuck about trying? who tf are you to assert that i need to change myself for you #some random fucking person online. #get fucked #you do not know me. #i will never be the thing you want me to be #i will never be the perfect version of me that you want me to be #im going to become the better version of myself that i think i can be and should be #but im not going to turn into the better version of myself that YOUUUU think i should be. #especially since yall dont even give me an alternative. you tell me not to do things and im left to just sit perfectly still #god forbid i move a muscle. thats the better version of me to you. motionless and mute. #and if thats what you believe i hope you shove a jar up your ass and it pops inside you. #im going to be my loud ass bat self and theres nothing you can do about it unless you wanna try to actually fucking kill me. #step up or shut up.