#esp bc some assignments i know i have to take a zero on bc they require me to go places outside of class that i just. can't make it to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arpwrites · 4 years

Note

arpu, how can we connect to our intuition? i know some say "meditate" but my mind is not calm and my butt itches most of the time. i cant stay still

this is actually perfect timing because I’m feeling the same way so helping you is also going to help myself 🌞✊🏽divine timing fr ✨

okay the goal is to get your mind to stop double checking every thought you have. we’re wired to check the veracity of our thoughts and discard ‘nonsense’ that comes from ‘nowhere.’ the subconscious mind kills it before we’re even aware of it. it goes back to the renaissance/age of reason where the scientific method (that was developed largely by muslim/arab scholars btw!) was heralded and factuality became an important component of clear, rational, logical, good thinking. it’s what you’re taught in school now and what is prized in technological societies.

so, we need to let the brain know it’s okay (and encouraged!) to have thoughts where the source of origin is unimportant. fun story: I accidentally did this when I read Einstein didn’t remember anything that could be looked up. this integrated itself into my worldview very deeply very quickly and I found myself remembering only interesting things without remembering or caring what the source was. didn’t help when I couldn’t pull stats out of my ass while arguing with someone, but did wonders for my intuition.

we can do this through repetitive activities where conscious thinking becomes irrelevant and/or you assign importance to ‘nonsense’ thoughts. this is the core of meditation too if you think about it – its about focusing on a single thing and acknowledging thoughts but not involving yourself in them. these activities will calm your mind in a similar way to meditation and also help your restless ass lol

morning pages!! I personally do this and I love it, it’s helped me grow immensely, I highly recommend it. when you write down every single thing in your head and just empty it out without stopping to consider its worthiness, you are telling your brain every thought is equally important and more of the subconscious intuition comes through to the surface.

random associations!!!!! let your mind wander

play this game with your friend!

pacing! I do this a lot, there’s an origin story if you’re interested lol but the main idea is this: put on music you’ve never heard before and walk really fast and/or run till you can’t think bc you’re barely able to breathe. focus on the music and let your mind wander and go wherever the music takes it. soon thoughts that are completely unrelated will pop up and though they really are nonsense in the beginning, keep encouraging it and u can tell when they eventually have truth to them

dancing! focus on nothing but the music and go crazy. doesn’t matter what kind but fast paced usually works better. don’t think about how to dance, think about it as the music controlling your body! you stop thinking and in that space, u can listen to the under-thoughts that usually go unnoticed

tbh, any activity u enjoy that takes up a lot of your focus + peripheral wandering thoughts. gardening! cutting 1000 stickers by hand! copying a textbook so u study and develop your intuition at the same time! there’s a lot of ways to integrate it into your daily life once u know what it feels like. this is pseudo meditation too btw.

overthink!!!!!!!!!! I loved doing this as I drove to uni every day lol. i’m not saying to distract yourself while driving! safety is most important!! but after the 100th time I drove the same route, I became a pro at it and my lizard brain took over. it didn’t need my thinking brain to drive. so I thought and thought uncontrollably and my thoughts got more nonsensical and irrelevant and there was no connection and like I said before, they were ridiculous at first. just my fears coming through. but then they started having truth to them and I started getting information about the universe and our purpose etc. etc. I think I had the most breakthrough intuitions while I was in that daze. I could predict things really accurately, it was spooky. I recommend this but its a double edged sword bc overthinking doesn’t help have a happy, healthy life. use it as a stepping stone and don’t! drive!! while u do it. pace instead or pour it into a private tumblr.

also! give importance to these random associations/thoughts! document them or record them however you can. write them down, text it to yourself. this tells your brain they’re valuable and encourages their production

dream journal!! do it first thing as soon as u wake up. and within a week or so you can reliably remember a loooooot of what happens and it also helps lucid dreaming actually. since dreams are nonsense anyway, repeated action tells the brain to encourage these types of thoughts and voila! intuition developed in daily life!

you have to Want it! your intentions create another layer of under-wiring in your brain that grows stronger with use and influences the overall synaptic network esp. the parts that control which thoughts are important and not. so start being curious! let things like trying to make predictions and having super powers take up space in your brain! try and guess things before they happen or guess what random strangers are about to do or predict the score you’ll get on a test. the more you do it, the more u tell your brain this is an Important Activity and then it builds the required ‘code’ to make that function run better. you’ll be completely off in the beginning but then slowly your success rate will climb.

like anything in life, you’ll get a lot better with practice. even if what i’m saying sounds like nonsense rn, try it a few times and you’ll see what I mean. btw, you don’t have to stick to a single method!! switch them around, everything counts as +1. you aren’t starting from zero with every new technique.

these should be enough for you to get a head start! if none of them work, let me know a bit about yourself and I can probably come up with more methods custom made for you~

also, this old post I wrote about meditation might help 🌞

good luck!!!!! hope you have as much fun as I did discovering your spiritual side 🌝💖

edit – special anon message for you: For meditation anon: There's a common misconception that meditation requires you to "quiet your mind" and disallow it to wonder, but really, it's more about getting into a flow state where you allow your thoughts to come and go with ease. It's mindfulness more than anything imo, acknowledging the thoughts but bringing yourself to a point where you aren't questioning/over-analyzing and thus reacting emotionally to them (like you ordinarily would throughout the day). It's okay to get distracted by your external environment or physical sensations, because you definitely WILL as a beginner, and still at times even if you're more advanced. It all comes down to practice, and the point is to train your mind, so any time you lose focus - Don't let it discourage you. Let it be a teacher of sorts. Refocus and try again. As you progress, you'll be less likely to get out of focus. Sitting isn't for everyone, definitely try things Arp mentioned, like walking!

11 notes · View notes

lez-exclude-men · 4 years

Note

im in high school right now and i just... hate it. so much. ive been on 3 different antidepressants, the schoolwork is just too much, i really just despise high school. all the drama and everything, i just hate it. my parents esp my dad just tell me im too negative and emotional and need to change my mindset as if i like being sad all the time... does life get better after hs? and how do i make it go by quicker?

Apologies for the delay, I wanted to make sure I was in the right head space to answer this as best I can.

Spend your energy on classes you enjoy, not classes that you're told to take for college. You are living right now, and while planning for the future is important, overloading yourself for the uncertain future is bad for your mental health. A low (but passing) grade in a class you dont care about and are told you should care about isn't a big deal, I promise.

Figure out where the drama is primarily coming from. Decrease your social interactions with them, effective immediately. If they're your friend and you care about them, you can still maintain that relationship without being privy to their drama, it just takes some balance and practice. Are you feeding into the drama in any way? Reevaluate your actions and see what you can do differently in the future.

Find a hobby you love and that CREATES something. Seriously I can not stress how helpful this is with mental health, especially depression. Ideally this is something you can take with you to school, or at least look forward to doing once you get home. Make it part of your daily, or at least weekly, routine. When things get rough and you need a break from the negativity, throw yourself into the hobby. For me, it ended up being crocheting. I can whip up a hat in a couple hours. And when depression would tell me I was awful and worthless, I would make an imperfect hat and go, see??? It's not perfect, but I MADE something that does a thing. Even better if I could give it to a friend and it would make them smile-- bc they were holding an achievement of mine, complete with all its flaws, and loving it. And that external, unsolicited and pure joy and validation was easy to turn into something I could wave in depressions face.

As for making hs go faster, free up some time. This is advice that isn't really approved of by teachers and parents, but it honestly helps a lot. Is there a class that you're good in without trying too hard, that gives you a lot of homework? Ideally this is a class that you make an A in but wouldn't mind a B, or make a B but wouldn't mind a C. Now, look at the homework category in your grades. How much of your class grade does it make up? 5% (no joke I had a class like that)? Congrats! As long as you pay attention and study, you can get by with never turning in another assignment. Quit doing homework. 10%? Do assignments here and there, but again, just keep up with the class material so you do well on tests and skipping homework isnt a big deal. 20-50%? Do the math, and see how many zeros you can have before it has a major impact on your grade. Congrats! When you're having a particularly rough week, purposefully get a zero on the homework for this class. Just keep an eye on your grades. 60%+? Be careful. Be very careful. But you can still miss an assignment on occasion. Or, as the better approach is, on the lengthy assignments, do the bits that are easiest, and half ass the hard parts. Congrats!!!! By doing this you have freed up some extra time to work on your hobby, or sleep. Which brings me to my next point...

Prioritize sleep. There's a balance to be had, of course, but if you've already hung out with your friends a few times this week, say no the next time they ask and go home and take a nap. If you have an off period, find a comfy chair or corner somewhere, and set a timer on your phone for 20-30 minutes. Cat nap that bitch. THEN do whatever you normally do in your off period. Try to get at least NINE hours of sleep each night. Don't be one of those kids that "competes" by saying "omg I only got 4 hours". While this may give you some temporary social status as everyone ooos and awwws over your seemingly superhuman self, it's not worth it. Trust me. I was one of those kids and we were all dead inside. Get some sleep. It makes everything so much easier to deal with. That said, dont beat yourself up if you dont get enough sleep one night. You're already going to have a rough day, dont make it worse on yourself.

Your dad doesn't understand mental illness. Depression isn't an outlook you choose, but an uphill struggle to try and enjoy some small part of your life. It's rough, it sucks, but it IS possible to manage. Discard all negative blogs you might have or follow rn. Be careful in how much you listen to depressing music. It has a time and place, and that is not when you're feeling at your worst or your best, but when you're just feeling a little shitty and need the outlet to get through the day. Keep a journal. Be as dramatic as you'd like in that girl, no one is gonna see her. Just make sure to end each journal entry with two things about today that lifted your mood, and one thing (no matter how small) that you can look forward to tomorrow.

Things do get better after high school, but that doesn't mean you should just wallow and wait and pray for this to go by as quick as possible. You have a life, right now, that is waiting to be lived. It's time for some spring cleaning, and then off on whatever adventure the day brings!

You've got this, I believe in you!!! And if you want more advice or clarification or just want to vent, feel free to come into my ask box again or stop by my dms. I'm no therapist, but I've been where you are, and I can try to help in all the ways o know how.💖

#lezpost #ask #answered #depression #anon

5 notes · View notes

livingbutamireally · 4 years

Text

AY2019/2020 Y1S1 Module Review

AY2019/2020 year 1 semester 1 review

Started school around august after orientation camp in july, and had to study after doing nothing for months after a levels and finally had the taste of the rigour of this major.. semester 1 went by too quickly..

Modules taken this semester:

CS1010S

MA1101R

MA1521

BT1101

GER1000

CS1010S Programming Methodology (Python)

Prof: Ben Leong

Exam Dates: 2 Oct (Midterm) / 16 Nov (Practical Exam) / 27 Nov (Finals)

Weightage:

Coursemology – 25% (25%)

Participation – 5% (5%)

Midterm test – 15% (-)

Practical exam – 15% (20%)

Final assessment – 40% (50%)

(those in brackets are for those taking alternative final)

S in CS1010S is for science students, most students are either science students (DSA/ Life Science plenty) or BZA students.

Overall this module easily had the highest workload compared to other modules, having to rush missions every week, complete tutorials (this is pretty standard duh) and lecture trainings before deadlines for bonus points on a gamified platform. One could sit at their table wracking their brains for the whole day and still not be able to come up with a feasible code, or have their codes stuck with some bugs and not knowing how to continue. Really, without the help from fellow friends this module would be hard to get through. Luckily my TA was kind (and patient!) enough to explain such that my brain could get it. Ended up having to IP this module sadly… This module really requires your wholehearted devotion and really tests your patience i must say, especially for people who are not too intellectually inclined (aka me)..

They introduced a new scheme this semester aka Alternative Final, meaning you get to retake your midterm and finals by tabao-ing it into the next sem except you do your finals during the recess week instead of the finals, kinda like a half-retaking a module? Your grades for finals are IP-ed (in progress) rather than letter grades and the finals and midterms will be accounted for in the following half a semester albeit under different weightage components.

They said its a introductory module, but …………..

This year’s practical exam was particularly hard i think i had friends (even the zai ones) getting single digit marks… banked full in on the Method of Life question (Q5) of finals which is a giveaway question asking you how you can apply the concepts to other parts of your life and your main take-aways from taking this module (filled up the whole page and got full marks for it 4m) without this question i would have failed the paper..

Now i have to work hard the next sem… its kinda sad for us BZA students because CS1010S is a prerequisite for those wanting to take BT2101 and CS2030/2040 modules in the following semester (y1s2). Future students (esp BZA) please take the advice to consider this when deciding whether to IP…. because guess who didnt and regretted not thinking deeper…..

Ah one more thing to take note is the weightage is quite different for those IP/ alternative final people, theres higher weightage for the papers :_D

Ben Leong is a pretty good lecturer, hes solid in delivering concepts except my brain may be a little too slow for him.. Theres also lecture videos online that you can refer to and thousands of papers (with solutions!!) waiting for you to do.. something uncommon for many modules i heard? also, you get to see your final (scanned) paper through a website, in ben leong’s words “how cool is that?” he also uploads the mark scheme for your reference which is pretty cool imo. He’s a very interesting lecturer.

MA1521 Calculus for Computing

Prof: Leung Pui Fai

Exams: No midterms, just an online quiz (4 questions, most get full marks for), and the finals

Weightage: cant really rmb the weightage but i think its 40-60? i think tutorial attendance isnt graded..

They said this was just a repeat of H2 maths with more stuffs well boy i must say this wasnt as easy as they said.. okay maybe for me, ive always struggled with maths for a really long time. Surprisingly got a B for H2 Maths, i got a B3 for O levels really the blemish in my results. Got a B- for this module. Many people will say this is an easy module, you can trust them a little different in my shoes i guess. I didnt turn up for lectures for the half part of the semester since he talks a bit too slowly so i just watch the webcast sped up. But being a procrastinator i’m really behind on webcasts by the time the exams came.. i think i spent too much time on CS1010S and its still not enough.. if you dont have the discipline to watch them religiously at home, i would suggest you go for the lecture even though he may talk abit slowly but it forces you to not miss out on them. I dont really had the time (is it i wonder?) to do the tutorials either so i was also behind on them.. most of the time i just sat for tutorials and took the answers down to only work on them many weeks later (much regrets) so i didnt really understood what was going on as the TA went through. please dont be like me… the recess week was for sure not enough to revise/ learn all the content for all your mods for both midterms/finals so please dont be lazy like me…. this is the suffering i brought upon myself TT

Overall i think. it is not that hard a mod if you do your work consistently.. things got a little confusing towards the end i heard they dropped a whole chapter this semester glad they did.

MA1101R Linear Algebra I

Prof: Wang Fei

Weightage:

Finals (28 Nov, 2h)— 60%.

Mid-term test (4 Oct, 2h)— 20%.

3 homework assignments (4% per assignment) — 12%.

An in-class Lab (MATLAB) quiz — 8%.

This was one of my most hardest period in my life and i say this on PERIODT. As if maths wasnt tough enough, this will really declare a survival of the fittest among your remaining brain cells. Friends told me maths came into their dreams… pls extinguish my soul. You must be thinking i am crazy for wanting to take 2 math mods in a sem right? ?

Yeahh no one really does that but it was my idea because i didnt want to do maths together with all the core core mods (BT and CS) next sem so i decided ah i should just get maths over and done with ( hAH real joke bc i couldnt clear CS1010S and i cant take 2k level mods for BT and CS and unlocked clown outfit because theres one more ST2334 core mod that involves probability and stats so much for thinking i will be over and done with for dealing with maths– someone tell me why did i choose this major again?)

Somehow along the way i realised the bell curve for this was surprisingly high i think those who chose this mod intend to delve even deeper in mathematics, mayhaps i joined the wrong major. The R in MA1101R actually stands for rigorous i didnt realise until my friend read the fine prints in the SOC Course Curriculum for BZA or sumn. Pure hell. There are 3 homework assignments (graded mind you) and most of the students get around 50++/60 i think i was the one of the rare few who flunked quite badly and always eyeballed by my TA (who is a prof for some 3k or 4k level maths, not for this mod though). I approached him for consults and for help and he was nice enough to sit me down and explain slowly. He’s pretty good at explaining slowly although he’s pretty fast in class (and most of the semester i had close to ZERO idea what was going on in class for pretty much most of the mods). Shockingly managed to pull out a C from my butt. The intellect of the students are no joke.. Homework assignments are every 3 weeks starting week 6 i think (so week 6, 9, 12) and i think are there to make sure you catch up with the work.

Oh lectures-wise, i sat for ½ of his classes, i really absorb almost nothing.. the rest of the lecture hall seem to get it though or so it seems. so i stopped attending my own lectures to watch the webcast for Prof Victor Tan too. His webcasts/lectures are really popular and it really owe it to his teaching, apparently he taught Wang Fei before and of course had over ten more years of experience. WF’s lecture turn-outs are comparatively less compared to VT. And on panopto (webcast platform) i think it was almost always 360++ views for VT as compared to a 80++/ was it 30++ for WF if i recall correctly. VT slides are also more concise and simple to understand where as WF’s ones are similar to the textbook. You are also required to purchase a textbook for this module costs around $20 from the co-op store in science and i urge you to purchase it asap when the profs announce they are made available bc they run oos quite fast.. the tutorial questions are from the textbook and the textbook is very simple and straightforward and put together by some of the lecturers/profs in school.

BT1101 Introduction to Business Analytics

Prof: Dr Sharon Tan, Desmond Ong

Weightage:

1. Online Quiz & Datacamp Assignments — 7%

Tutorial 1-4 — 8%

Tutorial 5 onwards — 15%

In-class Assessment (Written) — 10%

Practical Assessment — 20%

Final Assessment — 40%

In class assessment is held 2ish weeks after your midterms week so its kinda like your midterms?

Mm i would say this module is the most ?? its hard to put in words but if you read up the confessions page (NUSwhispers) regularly you would see many complaints that the mod is structured not as neatly as CS1010S its quite here and there everywhere and personal opinion, sometimes i dont know what i am supposed to learn but i guess its like that? The profs seem to value not wanting to spoonfeed and us learning on our own and stuff like that. I heard the mod was much harder in previous years and they simplified it a lot compared to in the past (which i really thank god) but its still a bit ?? They split it into two halves, first half of the sem is taught by Dr ST (Descriptive Analytics) and the next half by DO (Prescriptive and Predictive Analytics).

There are online videos to be watched every week even though you get lectures once every 2 weeks when Dr ST teaches and tutorials to be submitted to your TAs that are graded only after about 6/7 weeks. They leave comments (½ sentences someitmes shorter) and your marks received and thats about all so you dont really know where you went wrong since they are not marked paper and pen way. The tutorials are coding exercises for questions using the R language. They also used Datacamp to drill some of the basics of R for a headstart. Her workshop style lectures are a lot of on the spot learning how to code and stuff which i lag behind a bit because she goes a bit fast in order to cover everything. We learn new content via the online videos that we have to watch every week and theres quizzes for them too weekly iirc.

The next half by DO had no online videos (great!! and no quizzes!!) but weekly lectures and graded tutorials are due every 2 weeks(!!). There are still weekly tutorials but its only graded for every 2nd one, wow this saved me a lot of time phew. I didnt get to do the tutorials for those that are not graded but read through the questions so that i get a gist of whats going on, and somehow i really dont have the time to do it? CS1010S really absorbed a large chunk of my time cries. Finals was a oK it was not that bad i think. There are 20 MCQs and then about 4 structured questions? Closed-book with 1 A4 sheet cheatsheet.

Oh and the bad part about the tutorials are the tutors wont provide you with the model answers/codes so you’re really just on your own. You either get it or nah. :_D

GER1000 Quantitative Reasoning

Weightage:

1. Tutorial — 10%

2. 10 Weekly Quizzes — 20%

3. Project —35% (Presentation 10%, Final Report 25%)

4. Finals (28 MCQs, 2h) — 35%

No lectures so no profs, just weekly online videos and quizzes.

Tutorials are every odd/even weeks depending on the slot you chose.

Groups are arranged by the TAs beforehand.

This was pre-allocated for us so (grits teeth). Honestly a waste of time. One of the mods i neglected till the end to focus on other mods (which was worth it). The workload was manageable, of course (if not how to neglect). Every 2 week you meet together wiht your groupmates to discuss tutorial questions (each group will discuss 1 qn) and every tutorial class ended about 30min earlier. Nearing the end theres a group project report and slides to be done. Report is in the form of QnA so you just answer the questions and slides/ presentation is going through an article of a topic you chose (theres about 10) and you analyse the QR part of it what is good what can be better, etc. Theres also a bit of the stats part with probability and stuff but its a OK. Bell curve steep for finals (40 MCQ, 2h) but most finished in 1h and left the hall, i was one of the few who stayed till the end even though i was just staring at the paper into the depths of my soul for reasons unknown) It’s a lot about experiments not really the scientific/ calculations part of it but understanding about coming up with experiments, the pros and cons of carrying things out a certain way in loose terms something like the art of crafting experiments? makes you think a bit deeper how and what people think and not so dry i guess.

Epilogue

i guess thats a wrap–new semester starts soon :( i think this might be the first module/semester review tumblr blog but i hope this can be of help to anyone, to anyone at all. the owner of many of similar review blogs get really stellar results which i may be too out of league from so i hope this brings comforts to those who are doing not so well and encourage them because im not any different we exist, and we’ll survive.

CARPE DIEM 2020 LETS GEDDIT

#y1s1

0 notes

kiribakus · 7 years

Note

Hi. Teen here that is confused. Idk what I identify as (gender and sexuality) and it gives me anxiety. I have a bunch of supportive people around me (I "came out" to a couple of people that I hate My feminine name and they were like "what do you want us to call you now?" and they called me by my last name, which I wanted!!) Im just wondering if you have any advice??

hmmm. this is pretty tricky, given i’ve always known what my gender is, i just lacked a name for it.

as far as gender goes, i would try and identify what it is about your gender/body that makes you uncomfortable. i’m going to guess you’re dfab, given your feminine name, so maybe try to see what’s giving you the most anxiety. boobs? not having a dick? ofc, dysphoria isn’t a necessary requirement, and it doesn’t have to be a visceral as feeling sick when you see your naked body. i for one am fine with my vagina and i just look around my boobs when naked.

also consider your presentation. how do you feel in dresses and skirts? are you more comfortable with short or long hair? baggy or tight-fitting clothes? make-up and shaving? again, this isn’t a final indicator. my roommate presents androgynous but feels that gives her mastery of her feminine gender. i’m solidly nb, love dresses, cut my hair short, and don’t shave or wear make-up. just bc you present masc doesn’t mean you’re a dude, but if being femme disgusts you, that’s a possible indicator of trans-ness.

in the end, it’s what you feel. i changed my name but still am attached to my deadname. i present as eccentric cis female, but i’ve always known in my heart that i have ZERO attachment to gender. always feel free to try out new pronouns/ways of presenting yourself, esp if you have supportive people, but remember the real fight is inside. and also, presentation =/= gender. fem boys and masc girls and femme nb ppl are all whatever gender they determine for themselves. you might just be a masc girl. or maybe you’re a demigirl! i will say that most trans people i know kind of Knew once they got the terminology and have been showing signs their whole life. then there are some who try it out and realize they never felt attachment to their assigned gender in the first place. you have plenty of time to grow. for reference, i only came to realize my gender when i turned 18, and my sexuality around 13.

as for sexuality, this one’s quite the wild ride! with your gender confusion, i wouldn’t worry about a label just yet. just determine how you feel on the scale of male/female/other attraction-wise, which i know is tough. if you can experiment by dating, don’t be afraid to try women or nb people, BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL THEM YOU’RE QUESTIONING. it’s dick move not to. most allosexual people match up with romantic/sexual attraction, but ace people are a grab bag.

for determining allosexual/asexual......i don’t know what to say. if you’re sex-repulsed, ever, congrats! you’re probably ace. if you do enjoy sex or the thought of sex though, it’s tougher. again, you can probably just identify how you feel comfortable if you’re sex-positive. i went bi, pan, gray-ace, demi, then back to ace so like, change as often as you want. one caution: if you suspect you might be ace bc you’re sex-repulsed/sex-neutral......take care testing this out. there’s only one partner i’ve had who i don’t regret having sex with and even now i’ve told her it’s off limits for the time being. you can really fuck yourself up if you engage in sex and you’re sex-repulsed.

i hope some.....any.....of this helped ^^” again, for me, my gender i always knew and my sexuality still flops like a fish so i’m only so much help. the best advice i can give you is a) gender is internal and only partially about presentation and b) both gender and sexuality are liquid--they’re tangible, but constantly changing shape!

#ry ref #sexuality stuff #gender stuff #anon

11 notes · View notes

lennoxfraser-blog · 7 years

Text

ooc week: day three

RAPID FIRE:

Tea or coffee? tbh lately it’s been coffee bc i’m getting old and need a kick in the ass to get through the day, so. coffee.

Stars or planets? planets.

Sun or moon? moon.

Black or white? black.

The zoo or the aquarium? the zoo!!!!!!!!!

Drama or comedy? kdrama :}

Thriller or adventure? adventure. i can’t watch scary movies bc even though i’m not scared at the time, it tends to stick in my brain and i get zero sleep bc of bad dreams.

Short walks to the fridge or long walks on the beach? short walks to the fridge. [anakin skywalker voice] i hate sand.

Indoors or outdoors? indoors. outdoor has too many variables.

Animals or plants? animals. i used to want to be a veterinarian!!

Time alone or time with others? time alone 100%%%%%

Introvert or extrovert? introvert.

Silence or music? i’m very fine with silence but i love singing badly to music too. i also need music if i’m writing or being creative, so i def couldn’t live without music.

Darkness or light? darkness.

Cats or dogs? i can never decide. i love my cat, and i prefer their independence.

Dancing or being the wallflower? wallflower. i don’t think my self-esteem would allow me to dance in public lol

Right or left? i’m right handed and always take right-optioned choices but i always make my characters lefties.

Werewolves or vampires? ;) honestly.......... vampires. (says me who made a whole rp about werewolves)

Dressing stylishly or dressing comfortably? comfortably omg i don’t change out of pyjamas all day if i don’t have to.

Sunrise or sunset? sunrise.

Lead or follow? leadership is something i can and will do if i don’t feel satisfied with someone else’s leadership, but i can follow just fine. this is why i admin a roleplay i crave control goodbye

Optimist or pessimist? pessimism is my default.

Staying up late or waking up early? literally both. catch four hours of sleep and do it all over again.

Speaking up or staying silent? i speak up in my head, plan what i would say, and then open my mouth and almost burst into tears lmao i can’t argue to save my life, but i feel like my ideas are good so i’d much rather speak up through text.

White lies or brutal honesty? tbh white lies.

Ask for permission before doing the stupid thing or ask for forgiveness after doing the stupid thing? permission tbh i need peer reviews, ratings, signed permission slips, the WORKS before i do anything ever. catch me texting my friends “do you think i should do this?” or “can we talk about what would happen if i did this” just bc i’d rather be logical and rational than jumping into something too quickly. quintessential ravenclaw trait.

LONG FORM:

Pet peeves: FEET. IN ALL FORMS. LITERALLY DO NOT SHOW ME YOUR FEET. also something that pisses me off is when i’m told information i already know.... like if someone repeats a story to me, i have zero patience.... or if they rehash information prior to adding new information, i will cut them off, fill it in with a brief explanation to show i understand, before letting them continue. idk why i think just hearing things for the second, third, fourth time always feels like wasting time? i can’t do it. people who cough and sneeze and don’t make an effort to cover their mouth/nose with something other than their damn hands. slow internet. NO INTERNET.

Bad habits: like above, a bad habit is cutting people who off who are rehashing a story or information. i don’t cut them off in general, only in that situation, but i could def work on that lol. chewing my nails. buying shit that i don’t need, especially books.

Favourite scents (your amortentia!): coconut, vanilla, the smell of clothes when they come out of the dryer.

Favourite animal: tbh either lions or owls. at a zoo, i’d ideally spend the whole day at the lion enclosure, watching them sleep.

Favourite colour: green!!!!

Favourite place to go (local or otherwise) (photos get bonus points): about five minutes from my house is the beach and a cliff that overlooks the beach. there’s a watch tower there, and beneath the hill is actually these tunnels that they used during WW2 bc they thought Japan was going to invade so they stored weapons and ammo there. anyway, sitting up on the hill and looking out across the water is my favourite place to go to think, and i usually always go there with my mum to talk. i’ll include some pictures at the end!!

Favourite meme: honestly, i love the “tag yourself, i’m ____” meme. whether that’s when people make the photos and poorly spelt options, or even just when someone posts a photo/text post and drags the OP by saying “tag yourself, i’m the ___”

Do you have any creative or artistic abilities? so i write, and i’m hopefully alright at that. i used to do art, and i’m mediocre at drawing but i don’t do it to create, i usually draw to express story ideas or a character’s look/feel. i can crochet, idk if that’s necessarily creative or artistic. i can play the harmonica parts for “piano man” by billy joel!!!

Talk about something that made you happy today, yesterday, this week: a few things did!! i went to a bookstore and bought some books, so that made me feel materialistically happy. right after that i got sick at my friend’s house with a cold that came on within a few hours and that wasn’t great but it made me happy that i had a friend who would take care of me lol. also i’ve been very productive this week despite illness, so that made me happy upon reflection!!

Talk about an experience that made you feel proud or confident: tbh when i feel very bad about my confidence, i remember this one time when i was in high school (so i was 17) and we had mentor groups, which is when the ~smart kids~ are assigned to a teacher and mentored for the year. (the teacher basically just asks how you’re doing lol) ANYWAY we had a mentor day at a camp-like place, where there’s archery and games and shit. being a bigger girl in these kind of places = anxiety in the first place, and there was a zipline thing where you climb a telegraph pole (with no ropes? wtf?), strap into the zipline, and then they push you off and you fly down a rope for a few hundred metres. anyway, all my friends had gone, and time was running out, and i WANTED to do it, but my anxiety was like..... ur literally too big... also if you do, everyone will laugh.... and then i was just like ? fuck it???????? so i climbed the shit out of that terrifying pole, i strapped myself in, and i went down that zipline like Tris from Divergent and like. no one laughed? they were cheering? it was one of the most liberating moments of my life, just bc i realised that a lot of my fears are only in my head and not actually reality, and that if you want something, even if its small, you should go for it. i’m proud of myself for doing it.

Talk about something/someone that makes you feel relaxed: my bed makes me feel relaxed, but also probably talking to my mum - if i have a problem, i know that she’ll listen and help if she can.

Talk about something you’re yet to try for the first time but want to: everything i want to do is simply just so i can write about it better? lmao???? so i’d want to kiss someone so i could write about it more accurately, i’d want to get high so i could write about it better. i can’t drink bc of health reasons, but if i could, i’d like to get drunk to write about it better. mostly everything is just so i can be a better, more rounded writer.

Who are your role models and why: tbh idk if i have role models. i used to, but the older i get, the more i feel as though i rely less on looking up to people?? i really admire a lot of writers though, like Neil Gaiman and Leigh Bardugo and even J.K Rowling. also even though she’s a youtuber, i admire Zoe Sugg bc she just seems like a good person with a good heart? she’s been very open about mental illness and she’s written books and released a make up line and she’s... just normal? that’s a great role model, esp for younger people, so i’m glad she’s got a huge audience.

Talk about something you want to do this year: this year!!! this year is going to be organisation central, hopefully. i want to start/restart my book review blog where i write about books because that’s what makes me happy. i also have some RP goals, and they’ll hopefully be fulfilled very soon. i want to write more original fiction this year, and i want to read a lot more widely than i did last year.

#olooc #anxiety //#these always get so long i fear for the other days' questions

5 notes · View notes

denitr-ia · 7 years

Text

( update. )

||: aight about these changes that’ll be mostly effective immediate lets start with the important one, current classes Deni is taking. some have been dropped and replaced by new ones which means this hopefully opens new plot opportunities with at least few of you, and some will not be happening now ( wont be affecting anyone? here tbh as those muses have all dropped )-- I am open for past plots with the dropped courses though if ya wanna, js ;> or someone approaching him to ask why he dropped any particular one. SO

continued

Beginner’s magic

English

3D art

dropped

Smithing & armour maintenance *

Sociology

Swimming & diving **

new courses

Potions for beginners ( he’s definitely up to no good here... )

Archery

Drawing & Painting *

Modern Dance **

* smithing & armour maintenance he only ever picked cause it was something familiar in a new environment, comfort taken in already having knowledge of this one thing at least and being able to absorb more in as well-- which lead to him realizing it’s definitely not what he wants to actually do when trying to plan his future. this leads to him picking up drawing class bc that is also something that he’s already familiar with, to a lesser extent and kept as a hobby so far ( beside using it as another tool for visioning his smithing projects ) but he wants to try if there’s any spark there to go deeper into the arts.

** long story short he used to live with these guys back in Seoul before coming to Vighulir of which two were dancers and one thing led to another Deni spent a lot of time hanging at their dance studio and eventually that and a sum of many things led to him accepting jobs as a stripper. He might argue it’s for semi-professional self improvement but reason lies somewhere in between that and why he took swimming & diving classes-- bc it seemed like easy fun and exercise and allowed him access to the pools. also it certainly was a plus to see classmates in.. less clothes. yep. he’s that guy.

anyhooo I still don’t see him joining any clubs -- esp with this line up, nothing against it but not his scene uwu *nudges yall* bringing to life a new one or two would be fun ey? ofc with admin’s approval. slips a notion about deni and @kimhyolyn-ia orchestrating a kink club somewhere there

that out of the way the rest of this is gonna be more of informative pointers what’s happened recently in his life and the people who affected that, or are doing so currently, and also a small list about.. well, things to maybe take into consideration with interactions and also a reminder to the rest beside all new and those old members who I maybe haven’t gotten to bother with this muse yet but you’d want me to ouo

lets talk a bit about his relations in IA verse and how your muse is more than welcome to take note of them as it’s not really any weird rp magic, this is most in the knowledge of the population of the school, who care to observe others at least.

he’s got a new roomie again everyone should go poke him yes @yamaken-ia

with @rxelizabeth‘s departure he has more time for other people, but she will still be very much part of his canon and their friendship is still a thing and she will be mentioned here and there in threads. you can deal with that however you like, sometimes it’s ofc easier to pretend the muse was never there but at the very least if your muse has been aware of either of them it would make all the sense to note a missing presence, as he went a good 6 months basically attached to hip with her and I refuse to erase what was a huge part of his time in the academy

while he has people he considers sort of friends he will mostly be seen with @ravan-ia now, someone he considers one of his closest friends and may or may not latch onto now that.. rest have left.

it’s no secret him and @kimhyolyn-ia are banging and they own zero subtlety in public bc who needs that lmao feel free to mention that if you want I assure neither of us or the muses care

his schedule wont change much, or the locations deni generally hangs out in but a short summary to make everything easier for yall in regards of plotting and where to catch him at what times ( this isn’t fixed by any means, but more to give direction of his typical week, excluding visits to certain other parts of the academy grounds or trips to Vighulir )

Beside taking forever and after to get ready in the mornings, from waking up to the end of the school day not a whole lot of deviation can be made, tho he might skip sometimes, rarely, it happens. class projects are always a fun thing to thread winkwink.

lunch however is spend at wherever he feels the need to go, and with whoever happens to be closest so he can bother them.

library is a place he does spent some amount of time, either right after school to deal with homework or for research, or the last few hours of the day which usually are spent less looking for books than people.

randomly goes to the academy roof

the common room/roof garden in Sol Solis dorm is a location he absolutely still goes to ( used to hang there with Eliza ) even by himself or dragging someone else along. or trying to be sneaky during free nights to smoke weed there. or get drunk. a favourite pastime >_>

Ignis dorm is another he frequently spends not only hours of a day but some nights in as well, thanks to Ren’s hospitality ( as in Deni just pretends it’s half his room now cause damn have you seen that shit so much nicer that what he was left with )

do I even need to mention Luna dorm for obvious reasons. It’s not the bar. Though he’s an occasional fan of it yes.

This said he honestly doesn’t spend much any time at all at his own room in Aqua dorm, beside other reasons he’s simply always elsewhere with someone, or if he does happen to be present he’s very rarely alone.

This leads to; Deni works at the casino in Pidvone Misto during weeknights, monday--thursday but not always every night. Which means he is usually unavailable from late evening to 3am ish at what time you may catch him returning to the dorm. usually sober but, it’s not too uncommon to witness the opposite either

free nights are a roll of a dice but if he’s not catching up on sleep like he probably really should be, or got nothing else going on best believe he’s out there clubbing and drinking all that hard earned money into oblivion

about 90% of weekends he spends in Seoul, working at one of two clubs he gets assigned between. That covers his nights. days however are generally free beside the side job he’s got. Namely dealing and doing drug runs. Coincidentally for the same people who own the nightclubs. That’s a thing yes. though someone’s stirring their spoon in this mess soon stay tuned ;>

probably forgot something but this covers the essentials already so.

extra special section!

with the arrival of another two-seventy ( at last do you hear me crying tears of joy ) @kangjun-ia I do need to mention this lil thing about Deni still keeping it a tightly guarded secret what he actually is. As it stands, no one who absolutely should know ( to his knowledge ) is aware of this and he’d prefer to keep it that way. With the exception of our late-dropped Seline & Hongbin. and other exceptions to this rule being if your muse is some type of necromancer/exorcist OR is an ancient fart and you think they would be able to tell, then ya go ahead and make it so! I’m fine with it as well if your muse has been in contact with another one of their kind in the past and would be able to pick on that particular aura.

now, development will happen of course and beside having my own plans for this entire matter I’m always down for exploring that side of him but it’s a slow burn and I’m totally fine with that tbh. if Jun is going about telling people it would make sense that your muse starts seeing/sensing the connection as, well, we do have plotted they will be acquainted so ouo put my muse in an uncomfortable spot I dare you.

K I’M DONE THANK YOU CONTINUE ON YOUR DAY-- OR COME PLOT WITH ME EITHER WAY HAVE A LOVELY DAY~ ♥

#rest under read more bc jfc i ramble #and it's less relevant information anyway but I'll love you down if you do read it ;u;#( ―psa. )#( ―ifm. )

1 note · View note