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pillage-and-lute · 3 years

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Eskel is a Fanboy (Part 2, Electric Boogaloo)

This is a second part of this. Which in turn was inspired by this.

Please note, this is less funny and a little deeper than the first part, despite the title. Discussions of FEELINGS, hardcore, but also the trials. Brief mention of hypothermia.

Read it here on Ao3

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Geralt arrived late that year. Vesemir had been pacing the corridors, a worry line between his brows, for the last week. The snows were getting worse and worse and innocent snowflakes joined other completely harmless snowflakes until a very un-harmless amount of snow had piled on the track and the passes.

Lambert, alongside Aiden (another reason for the creases on Vesemir’s brow) lounged in the great hall, completely unconcerned.

“He’s stayed later and later every year,” Lambert said, lazily. “He keeps lingering with that bard of his. Why should this year be any different?” His eyes were half closed as Aiden played idly with his hair.

“If he doesn’t get here in the next two days he’ll be too late,” Vesemir snapped.

“I recognize I’m the outsider, here,” Aiden said. “But I don’t always winter with my troupe, and Lambert occasionally spends winters away...”

Eskel shook his head. The constant bickering was impacting his reading and he’d long ago marked his place in his book and set it aside. “Not Geralt,” he said with certainty. “He always winters at home.”

Aiden levelled a chilly, yellow gaze. “You love him.”

“He’s my brother in arms.”

“He’s special to you.”

Eskel wanted to growl and snap, but Aiden wasn’t saying it in a malicious way. There was no threat or accusation in his words. If there had been it would have been pure hypocrisy, what with the way Lambert currently lay in his lap. Eskel had spent a week pretending not to see the pairs’ furtive kisses.

“He is special to me,” Eskel said at last. “I found him, after his second trial, was given special allowance to be away from training to help him. Whatever happened, with the mutagens, he was deaf and blind for nearly two weeks. And had as much strength as a kitten.”

Vesemir’s pacing gained a sharper edge. “I wish I’d killed the mage that called for that second trial.” He said. Lambert and Eskel made eye contact, they were familiar with the self loathing in Vesemir’s voice. Lambert was angry at the world and his whole situation, but they had all forgiven Vesemir years ago. There was no choice but to mend bridges with a pack so small. Still, they rarely talked about it.

“You killed the mage that called for his third,” Eskel said, quietly.

Aiden’s head jerked up. He’d been a witcher, albeit a different school. He knew the trials, he knew the pain, but three trials... “They tried...?”

Eskel nodded his confirmation. “Geralt survived, and the mages who ran the trials wanted to see how many he could take.”

“So I split his throat on my knife,” Vesemir said. There was no satisfaction in his tone, but just an empty statement of action.

“I didn’t know it was you that killed the mage,” Lambert said. “I just knew one had been killed for the suggestion. I heard they made the witcher drink hemlock as punishment.” There was a warmer light of respect in Lambert’s eyes than usually shone there.

“They did,” Vesemir said. “It didn’t kill me.”

That was it for conversation that night, but Eskel went to bed thinking about Aiden’s words.

He’s special to you.

Geralt was special to him. There was an understanding, something gentle and kind between them. Geralt and Eskel lived their separate lives and had lovers and adventures. But for three months of the year they had each other.

Eskel had sometimes wondered if there was something wrong with him. He never gave his heart to anyone. Sex meant nothing and love didn’t happen, and he could only love Geralt for three months at a time.

Except that wasn’t true at all, because of course Eskel loved Geralt all the time. It was only a softer kind of love than he read about in poetry. He didn’t need fiery passion and desperate declarations of love. He had a steady love for Geralt, as sure as the beating of his heart. It was as good a love story as any, but now Geralt had his bard and a tiny, hidden part of Eskel whispered “If Only.”

If only he and Geralt could lounge like Aiden and Lambert, to pet each others’ hair and share small kisses in the corners. If only Eskel really had Geralt for those three months. He had no doubt that the feelings were mutual, but something in their lives had been built apart, and it would take something powerful to shape them anew.

The next evening brought a blizzard. And Geralt.

It took both Aiden and Lambert to shut the door behind Geralt with the way the wind blew in around him. It curled and flickered shards of ice through the air that melted in the heat of the hall, dampening Geralt’s old, black cloak. Which he was holding around himself like a cocoon. Vesemir took Geralts cloak for him, which revealed what he’d been holding.

Huddled against Geralt, nose red and face pale, was a young man in a blue cloak.

Geralt bundled him in front of the fire without a word, pulling away the damp cloak and hanging it to dry. Vesemir brought blankets as Geralt pried the instrument case from the man’s hands.

A lute case.

Eskel’s pulse picked up. This was obviously the bard. This was Jaskier, Oxenfurt’s most prodigious poet. He’d studied with Rumi and Alighieri and Li Bai. In just a few years he’d reformed witchers’ reputations. They’d all been treated better these past few years. More money, less tar and feathers. Eskel went to sit beside Jaskier to beg him for stories but Geralt met his gaze, smiled softly, and shook his head.

Eskel restrained himself. Jaskier was clearly staving off shock from the cold, as well as hypothermia. Instead of doing what he really wanted to do (lay himself prone at Jaskier’s feet and worship his skill with words) he put on a kettle for tea.

Aiden and Lambert make eye contact with each other, nod to Geralt, and leave. Vesemir also makes a tactful retreat. This time was just for Eskel and Geralt. And the bard shivering on a pile of cushions next to the fire.

“He had a hard time on the Killer,” Geralt said, quietly.

“It’s called the Killer for a reason.”

“He begged me to come, I told him it would be too dangerous,” Geralt whispered. “He followed me and I couldn’t make him leave, that’s why I was late.”

“Vesemir’s been worried,” Eskel said, staring at the fire. He sat on the cushions, beside the bard, without taking his eyes from the coals. Geralt sat on the other side of Jaskier, rubbing carefully over the bard’s chilly hands, pulling off the woolen mittens and gently warming each knuckle.

“I had to go slower for him,” Geralt said. Between the two of them, the bard seemed mostly asleep. His eyelashes flickered on his cheeks, struggling to stay open.

“You can sleep,” Eskel whispered. “You’ll wake up, you’re cold but not in danger.” He took the other chilly hand. “Just sleep.”

Blue eyes slipped closed and Eskel took the kettle off the fire so it didn’t whistle.

“He was so desperate to be here, he wanted to see the Keep,” Geralt said. “And I wanted him to come. To meet you.”

“I did make you promise I’d get to meet him,” Eskel said, sitting back down and resting a hand on Geralt’s shoulder. “I think I’ve read everything he’s ever written.”

“That’s not why I wanted him to meet you,” Geralt said.

Eskel’s breath caught. They were talking about it, sort of. “I know,” he said.

The bard curled up a little, like a nautilus shell. Geralt lay down on the cushions behind him and Eskel made himself comfortable. Sleep and warmth and the smell of the pine fire lulled him slowly to sleep. Just as he was drifting off, Jaskier reached out in his sleep and placed one hand, less chilly than it was, on Eskel’s arm. It stayed there until the morning.

“So True Love’s Waste wasn’t inspired by a person?” Eskel asked over breakfast, mouth full of porridge.

Jaskier shook his head, gulping down hot tea. “No, I was out on a bender with some friends and we saw this washerwoman’s cat trying to catch a soap bubble, right?”

Eskel nodded, entranced.

“It was so totally focused on catching this soap bubble, it’s eyes were all wide and determined, like all it wanted was the bubble, but when it caught the bubble...”

“It popped,” Eskel laughed. “And you wrote a poem that has been deemed the best love poem of the last hundred years about it.”

Jaskier chuckled. “Art is more trite and derivative than people think.”

Eskel reached out and touched Jaskier’s wrist, looking into those heavily-lashed eyes. “Your work could never be called trite, or derivative.”

Behind Jaskier, Eskel saw something flash in Geralt’s eyes, and he stood from the table, clearing his plate, but then Jaskier was telling a story about Rumi, his former professor, and Eskel’s attention was diverted.

The next week passed in peace, for the most part. Repairs to the keep were ongoing, but halted when the snow was heavy. Vesemir kept them training and the library, neglected by all but Eskel, kept Jaskier busy. At mealtimes and in the evenings Eskel and Jaskier chatted about art and music and life on the Path. But Geralt was subdued, something tired and sad gleaming in his golden eyes. He wouldn’t talk about it, and he fled when Eskel tried.

It hurt, that Geralt suddenly wouldn’t talk to him, but Eskel knew the white wolf better than anyone, so he cornered him in the training yard one afternoon and pinned him down.

“Talk. To. Me,” he panted, grinding Geralt’s shoulders into the flagstones.

“Nothing to say,” Geralt grunted.

“Bullshit.”

“Nothing!”

“You keep hiding! It’s not nothing!”

Geralt kicked his feet up, flipping them both over and freeing himself. He stood over Eskel who was still laying on the ground. “You can have him,” he said, beginning to walk away.

Eskel snagged his ankle, bringing his idiot wolf down to the ground without remorse. “You’re stupid.”

“I’m not, he adores you. You have so much in common, it makes sense.”

Eskel remembered the conversation of the year before. Please don’t take my bard.

“I’m not taking your lover boy from you,” he snapped.

“He’s not my lover boy.”

“He would be if you would only ask him.”

“He deserves better.”

“He wants you.”

“He wants you,” Geralt howled. “He looks at you like you got out a ladder and personally nailed the moon to the sky. Every time you talk he hangs on your words.”

“He looks at you the same way,” Eskel said, quietly. “And I...” He paused. This was so close to the thing they never talked about.

“You don’t look at me that way,” Geralt whispered.

“But I feel it all the same.”

The admission rang in the empty training yard, despite it being barely a whisper.

“I want you to have him, to be with him, because the two of you are made for eachother. It was obvious to me before you’d even met. I just wish,” Geralt stopped, his voice growing tight.

“What do you wish?”

“I just hate that it hurts so much. I love you both, I do, so so much, and all I want is you two happy, and you’ll be happy together, but I just wish it didn’t cut me out.”

Eskel rolled over and bumped his forehead to Geralt’s. There were tear tracks in the dirt there. “It doesn’t have to. That’s a silly rule and you made it up for yourself. I love you both and he loves us both, so you can have us both.”

Geralt sat up, bringing Eskel with him, then pulled him into a kiss that burned. It was a simple press of their lips together but Eskel felt like he’d been struck by lightning.

“Oh,” came a quiet voice from the nearby doorway. Jaskier was standing there, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. “I’ll just--”

“Stay,” Eskel said, chuckling. He pulled Jaskier down to sit on the flagstones with them. “I think Geralt has something he wants to tell you.”

Geralt looked nervous. He swallowed a couple times, eyes darting over Jaskier’s face. “I...” He said. “Um, what Eskel means is that... um, I”

“Oh you great big oaf,” Eskel said. “Jaskier, he loves you, he’s absolutely mad about you. He just can’t say it because he loves me too and it’s taken him the better part of a century to tell me.”

Jaskier beamed, his blush growing. “And you?” he said.

“I’m not sure I love you yet,” Eskel said. “But I think I will.”

“I think I will too,” Jaskier said, then he leaned in and brushed a soft kiss to Eskel’s lips, off center, so it brushed his scar and part of his cheek too. Then he kissed Geralt the same way.

“Aiden’s going to be so pissed that he lost the bet,” Jaskier said, as if he hadn’t just rocked both witchers’ worlds with a mere kiss. “He bet Lambert you wouldn’t figure it out until next week.”

“You knew,” Eskel said, touching the tips of his fingers to where his face was still tingling from the kiss.

“They way Geralt talks about you, well...” Jaskier said, smiling at Geralt. “And then the way you talk about him,” he smiled at Eskel. “And the way you both look at me, I knew. I just wasn’t sure you knew.” His smile shifted into something bashful and a little insecure. It was an odd look on his normally confident face. “And it seemed too much to assume you both would really want me, I’m not all,” he gestured at his shoulders and arms, obviously comparing their builds.

Eskel couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. “We don’t care about that,” he said, carding his hand through Jaskier’s hair and revelling in the way the bard leaned into his touch. “I’ve seen Geralt with a face full of pimples, and I mean full, and that was back when he was calling himself Geralt Roger Eric du Haute-Bellegarde. It isn’t about looks.” He trailed his eyes across Jaskier. “And even if it was we wouldn’t find you wanting.”

“He’s right,” Geralt said, pressing a little kiss right behind Jaskier’s ear. “We find nothing about you wanting.”

“You both are going to leave me wanting if you’re not careful,” Jaskier whined, borderline laciviously. He leaned back against Geralt and pulled Eskel closer, kissing Eskel’s cheek chastely in spite of his words. When he turned to kiss Geralt’s cheek too Eskel nuzzled closer, feeling Geralt’s arms pull him into the pair of them.

“You have to promise to write me into your poetry, after all this,” he said.

Jaskier laughed, head tilting back and eyes crinkling at the corners. “As if I haven’t already,” he whispered.

Three months later the great bard Jaskier debuted his latest poetry anthology. Silver and Steel was praised by academics across the continent, although the line about being eaten alive was highly debated. Jaskier’s sudden penchant for high collars might have answered the questions, but he wasn’t about to give away the secret.

#jaskel #geralt x jaskier x eskel #this is stupid but happy #less funny than the first bit #but more cute #the witcher #jaskier is a famous bard #eskel is his fanboy #geralt loves them both very much

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wren-of-the-woods · 2 years

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Hi! I was wondering if you could make a part two for Kaer Morons fic recs, you don't have to and fell free to ignore this if your busy with other things or just don't wanna do it. Loved the last fic recs for them so much so thank you for that post! I'm happy to just have yoy see this and see my thanks for it :)

Ahh, hello!! I'm so happy you liked my last reclist! I've actually thought about doing a part two of this because I encountered several excellent ones since making that last post, so I spent the morning trawling through my bookmarks and here we go!

A few of these might also be on my other reclists, but they're good and they fit the criteria so I'm mentioning them again! By coincidence, all fics on this list were written before season 2 and thus don't take that canon into account. As always, y'all are more than welcome to chime in with your own recs. I'm always looking for more fics to read!

Without further ado...

Fic Recs: Jaskier and the Kaer Morons (Part 2!)

There Are Other Gifts than Silver by @elder-flower (Rated T, 18k, Geraskier)

Behold the wonderful work of my absolutely amazingly brilliant secret Santa!! Geralt invites Jaskier home to Kaer Morhen for the first time and it’s the sweetest thing ever.

The Path Not Taken by sopses (Rated M, 40k, endgame Geraskier with minor Jaskier/Lambert)

This one was recommended to me in the notes of my last reclist, and it’s really good! After the dragon hunt, Jaskier saves the life of an injured Eskel. It all just sort of escalates from there.

Two wolves, a cat and a bard walk into a tavern by Beginte (Rated T, 6k, Geraskier and Lambden)

Jaskier and Geralt bump into Lambert and Aiden on the way to Kaer Morhen. Awkward meet-the-boyfriend ensues. This one never fails to make me grin — I’ve read it at least twice!

The Witchers’ Bard by operacricket (Rated T, 5k, Geraskier)

While taking care of a group of slavers, Lambert, Eskel, and Vesemir discover a bard in need of rescue. Excellent bard whump and hurt/comfort with a happy ending. Make sure to check the tags!

The Non-Denominational Winter Party by @jackironsidesfic (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Housemates Geralt and Jaskier are hosting their yearly Non-Denominational Winter Party, but somewhere along the way their friends seem to have got the wrong idea. ‘You … know that Jaskier and I are just friends, right?’ A fluffy and hilarious modern AU!

Tumblr Greatest Hits by ohnoesidontknow (Rated M, 9k total, Geraskier and Jaskier/Vesemir)

A group of seven wonderful ficlets collected into one work. Including but not limited to: Eskel and Lambert thinking Jaskier is imaginary, Jaskier knighting Geralt, and Vesemir stealing Geralt’s bard in about five seconds.

Eskel is a Fanboy by @pillage-and-lute (Rated T, 3k, Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel)

In which Jaskier is a famous bard, Eskel is his biggest fan, and Geralt loves them both very much.

Stories on a Page (series) by @jaskiersvalley (Two works - Rated T, 1k, and 2, Geraskier)

An adorable series in which Jaskier discovers the witchers can’t read and decides to teach them. The first work is Geralt, and the second is everyone else.

My Name is Hidden On Your Tongue by anarchycox (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Jaskier’s family is cursed — every male-born child cannot be named, and anyone who tries to refer to them by the names they are given will have an allergic reaction. Only a soulmate speaking your true name aloud will break the curse. Jaskier is determined to break the curse, and what better way to do that than traveling with a witcher?

I Was Pledged to You, To You I Pledge Myself by anarchycox (Rated T, 9k, Geraskier)

When Jaskier is four, his daring escape from a family dinner and subsequent rescue by a witcher results in him becoming betrothed to someone called Geralt of Rivia. The plan is for them to marry when he’s twenty. Scenes from Jaskier's life of meeting every witcher but his betrothed, until one day in a shitty tavern, he finally meets Geralt.

the shape of a pear by @julek (Rated T, 2k, Geraskier with minor Jaskier/Lambert)

Geralt doesn't call Jaskier pet names, so Lambert starts doing it for him. Hilarious!

Sing Me a Song by Arvari (Rated T, 2k, Geraskier and Lambden)

Aiden isn’t dead, but Lambert doesn’t know that. To remedy this, Aiden seeks out Jaskier (who is away from Geralt after the Mountain) to sing a song and let Lambert know he’s alive. Technically, Aiden isn’t a Kaer Moron, but this is just too hilarious not to mention!

Jaskier and Mountains Just Don't Mix by C4t1l1n4 (Rated G, 4k, Geraskier)

Despite the other Witchers' positive reaction to Geralt's bard, Vesemir is reluctant to have a human stay with them at Kaer Morhen so Jaskier attempts to leave and ends up almost freezing to death on the side of the mountain. Excellent hurt/comfort with a happy ending!

Return to Cidaris by pinksugartales (Rated M, 34k, Jaskier/Valdo Marx transitioning into Geraskier)

A modern AU. Valdo returns to his hometown for the first time in years, inadvertently reconnecting with his first love. Jaskier follows his fiancé a week later and finds himself the obstacle to their Christmas love story. At least the man he meets in the little town’s bakery is there to offer him support. Wonderfully depicted relationships. The Kaer Morons aren’t the focus, but their presence is absolutely wonderful!

Bonus:

Hibernating with Ghosts by Fayet (Rated M, 183k, Geraskier)

Another one from the notes of my previous reclist! I haven’t read this one, but have been assured that it’s very good. Jaskier goes to Kaer Morhen and there is both fluff and angst.

Part one can be found here! I also have lists of Geraskier feel-better fics and soft Geralt fics.

#geralt #jaskier #the witcher #geraskier #lambden #eskel #lambert #aiden #vesemir #fic recs #reclist #kaer morons #wren talks #asks #hope you like it!#let me know if there're any problems with the links

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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 3 years

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I hope you feel better soon and have some relaxing days!

For smooth promots what about hand or (signet) ring kisses (or both) with Geraskier

probably not exactly what you were looking for but oops

tw: mildly horny, MCR lyrics that mention suicide

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Jaskier stomped and screamed along with the rest of the crowd; everyone could see the inky silhouettes taking position on the stage. After a few moments of shuffling movement the sound of a singular, low guitar reverberated through the shitty, podunk concert venue. It was joined by a second rhythm guitar, then a bass, and then drums.

All five members of the band shouted out: “Hail! Hail!”

The lights went up and Jaskier nearly dropped dead.

Geralt “The White Wolf” deRivia was standing in the middle of the stage looking absolutely downright sinful. Jaskier was thirsty enough to begin with and this definitely was not helping his situation. The white-haired rocker was wearing a ripped white t-shirt, painted-on black skinny jeans, and elaborately buckled black leather boots. Jaskier wanted the singer to stomp on him. Honest to gods.

Geralt wrapped the mic cord around his forearm, his gorgeously muscular forearm, and took two long strides to the front of the stage. Jaskier felt his knees wobbling and straightened his legs to keep from toppling over in sheer joy.

“We kill the girls to get paid

And put the whole damn room

On the edge of a blade.

“You'll get far, stay clean,

And if the world stops believing, well I'll keep believing

That the world could make a change

And put the suicide dolls as the last ones to mate;

“So come hard, stay clean,

And sing a song for the damned, now.”

Geralt paced back and forth as he sang, his long, silvery ponytail reflecting the lights of the stage display behind him. Jaskier thought he looked like some kind of fallen angel. He certainly sounded like one, his voice low and emotive even as his face betrayed so very little. The young brunette’s heart fluttered in his chest when the White Wolf’s eyes briefly met his own.

“Hail! Hail!”

Geralt punctuated each shout by pumping his fist in the air, his scowl more beautiful than it was scary. Jaskier felt himself blushing for no reason at all; it wasn’t like Geralt had actually noticed him.

“Cause the king is gone,

And if you don't stop believing, we'll keep believing.

You put the record on

And live the life that you're making,

Shots that you're taking...

“So grab the cash and run,

And let the suits watch each other kill one another.

It doesn't matter if the words don't mean a thing;

You gotta kiss that ring.”

The White Wolf moved to the far side of the stage and leaned his back against the guitarist’s, miming an instrument to play as Lambert shook his head and laughed. Eskel, the bassist, threw his entire body back and forth as he wailed on the strings.

“Well, alright.”

Geralt returned to the center stage and lowered his voice, making it sound almost breathy as he completed the second verse.

“Move like the wolves, and keep the faith;

There ain't a dry eye left in the back of the place.

Is it hard to stay clean?

And if you all keep believing, I'll keep believing

“That the world drives the saints

And puts a shotgun shell in the hills it makes.

So come hard, stay clean;

Because they don't give a damn, now.”

Aiden, the rhythm guitarist, thrust his pelvis with every repetition of the word hail and Jaskier noticed the way Lambert’s eyes seemed to lock onto him at every opportunity. Was Geralt equally interested in another of his band members? He seemed pretty close to Eskel but Jaskier wasn’t sure that it was romantic. Not that the singer’s relationship status even mattered. Jaskier was just a fanboy anyway, an emo kid with too much money and free time; there was no reason for him to be daydreaming about Geralt as some kind of romantic partner.

“Hail! Hail!

'Cause the king is gone,

And if you don't stop believing, we'll keep believing.

You got your leather on,

And live the life that you're making,

Shots that you're taking…

“So grab the cash and run,

And let the suits watch each other kill one another.

It doesn't matter if the words don't mean a thing;

You gotta kiss that ring.”

Geralt locked eyes with the younger man suddenly but firmly, his golden pupils working like magic to keep Jaskier in place. The singer winked once before headbanging a few more times. As he neared the end of the song he thrust his closed fist into the air and dropped to one knee:

“Fist up, head down,

Hail! Hail to the king!”

Hail to the King, indeed.

Jaskier knew he would need to see another concert after this. And another after that. There was no way to live without Geralt deRivia’s glorious voice, now.

#gratuitous use of mcr #geraskier ficlet #rockstar geralt #geralt way I guess #geraskier nonsense #they defs makeout tho #geraskier #prompt fill

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ao3feed-geralt-jaskier · 3 years

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by pillage_and_lute

Geralt has a bard who he may or may not appreciate as much as he should. Eskel wants to appreciate the bard. He wants to appreciate that bard so hard.

AKA Jaskier is a famous bard, Eskel is his biggest fan, and Geralt loves them both very much.

Words: 1015, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The Witcher (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Eskel (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion, Lambert (The Witcher), Aiden (The Witcher), Vesemir (The Witcher)

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Additional Tags: Winter at Kaer Morhen (The Witcher), jaskier is a famous poet, and Eskel is a HUGE fan, Geralt loves them both, Mentions of the trials, Fluffy, mostly - Freeform, Touch-Starved Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Touch-Starved Eskel (The Witcher)

#AO3 works tagged 'Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion'#ao3feed #fanfic #the witche

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pillage-and-lute · 3 years

Text

Eskel is a Fanboy

Inspired by this post.

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“What about you, pretty boy,” Lambert called across the hall. “Anything new this year.”

Eskel drank another sip of Lambert’s horrible vodka and looked at his brother. Geralt sat heavily on the bench in front of Kaer Morhen’s main fireplace.

“I got a bard,” he grunted.

Eskel, a lover of literature, perked up. “Exciting,” he said. “Must be nice.”

“Hmmm.”

Lambert snickered. “Geralt doesn’t like music, does he? Probably doesn’t even let the poor sod ride Roach.”

“He’s not allowed to touch Roach,” Geralt grumbled. Eskel and Lambert rolled their eyes.

“But you get a bard,” Eskel said. “You know, sings you songs, keeps you company...” light dawned on him. “Oh, Geralt, did your bard do Toss a Coin?”

Lambert groaned. “That damn song follows me everywhere, can’t get it out of my head, either.”

“It’s catchy,” Eskel said. “But I couldn’t find out the original author, so Geralt, tell us about your bard.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“Has to be to go about with you,” Lambert said.

“He’s lazy and vain and can’t keep his dick in his pants.”

Lambert grinned evilly. “Neither can Eskel, say, did you tell him about the succubus you fucked?”

“Not important,” Eskel said hurriedly. “Geralt, you get extra coin, music, a reputation boost, and companionship, what is your deal?”

“He’s annoying.”

“Is he a bad singer?”

Geralt shrugged. “Don’t think so, don’t care. Can’t get rid of him and he sort of...” Geralt moved his shoulders awkwardly. “Grows on you. Like a tumor.”

Eskel snorted. “Does this tumor have a name?”

“Jaskier.”

Eskel stilled. “The bard Jaskier?”

“...yes?”

“Oxenfurt’s best poet? Wrote his first poetry collection at 14 and it’s still considered unmatched by many academics? That Jaskier?”

“I guess.”

“You mean you don’t know!” Eskel leapt to his feet. “Geralt he’s a visionary! His latest epic nearly brought me to tears! I couldn’t stop reading it!”

Geralt shrugged. Eskel could have torn out his own hair.

“How on Melitele’s great green Earth did you get Jaskier the Bard to follow you! You don’t even like music! Have you read any of his poetry? At all?”

“He asks my opinion sometimes.”

Lambert snickered, he was enjoying this. “Bet that’s as useful as a knitted sword, eh Geralt?”

Eskel threw his head back. “The greatest young poet in the last thirty years is asking your opinion on his work! Melitele wept, Geralt! You’ve got a diamond in your pocket and you’re treating it like coal!”

“His song is really catchy,” Lambert threw in. “And you know, I think I have heard of him, quite the looker, right?”

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. It sounded almost guilty.

“Oh!” Eskel said. “You think he’s pretty! That’s it isn’t it! You have a great artist at your beck and call and you’re keeping him around ‘cause he’s got a pretty face!”

“Not keeping him,” Geralt grunted, studying his vodka carefully. “Want ‘im gone.”

Lambert smirked cruelly. “That’s fine, just meet up with me, he can travel at my side. Be nice to have a traveling companion with a...talented tongue.”

Geralt growled.

“Let him come with me,” Eskel said, catching on. “I’d love some company, and I have questions. I hope he’s willing to sing me the love song he wrote last year.”

“Tell me Geralt, can you toss a coin and bounce it off that ass?”

“He and I could talk about literature, I hope he’d write me poetry.”

“He’s not going away with anyone!” Geralt yelled.

Lambert smirked at Eskel. “Whoops, looks like we struck a nerve.”

Eskel slurped some vodka obnoxiously. “You know, I think you’re right Lamb.”

“What’s wrong, Pretty Boy, afraid we’ll steal your bard?”

“It’d make so much more sense for him to travel with me,” Eskel said. “I mean, kindred spirits and all.”

“I’d let him ride with me on my horse,” Lambert said, slyly. “Bet it’d be nice to have a pretty bard with his arms around me.”

“You know, Lamb,” Eskel said. “I heard he’s as talented a lover as he is a poet.”

“Bet he’s got clever fingers, all that lute strumming...” Lambert mused, mirth shining in his eyes. Geralt looked like he’d swallowed a wyvern egg whole.

“I’d treat him better,” Eskel said. “I wouldn’t call him lazy, and I’d let him ride with me. We could stay in inns.”

Lambert cut in. “Only one bed of course. Famous poet like him, he deserves to be spoiled. I’d buy him all sorts of pretty things. Be nice to see him wearing a necklace I bought him.”

“You have a good eye,” Eskel said. “I’m sure he’d be dazzling. I’ve heard he’s generous too, and kind, although not so humble.”

Lambert snorted. “Why would he be humble? He’s the best.” Geralt looked maybe three seconds away from blowing his top.

“I bet he’s kind to his traveling partners,” Eskel said. “Probably helps set up camp and looks after them.”

“Clever fingers,” Lambert said, smirking. “Good for helping with wounds.”

Three...

“If he’s a bard I’m sure he has a good memory,” Eskel chimed in again. “Be helpful with potions.”

Two...

“Be more welcome in towns with him along too.”

One.

“ENOUGH!” Geralt howled. “I GET IT!”

“Get what, oh White Wolf?” Eskel said, innocently. He often got a reputation as the best behaved of the wolves, and it was true, but only because the bar was so low.

“I’ll treat him better,” Geralt muttered. “Just...please, Eskel, Lambert...don’t take my bard?”

Something a little soft and vulnerable shone in Geralt’s eyes.

“Awww, Wolfie,” Lambert cooed. “Don’t worry, I won’t take your bard and hurt your ickle feelings. Besides, I have a kitty all my own.”

Eskel rolled his eyes. “I dare you to call Aiden ‘kitty’ to his face. Anyway, Geralt, I won’t steal your bard either.”

Geralt let out a breath and looked about to say something but Eskel continued.

“On one condition.”

Geralt looked at him.

“Bring him to the keep? Please Geralt, you don’t understand I have so many questions. Do you think he’d sign my copy of his anthology?”

“Hmmm.”

#kaer morons #eskel #lambert #geralt #jaskier #the witcher #implied geraskier #fluffy #sort of #humor #eskel is a fanboy #he would make fanvids of Jaskier if he could #lambden mention

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