#edit: she’s now CRYING by the front door we’ve created a monster

[rocketonthemoon]

We went on a little stroll today around the yard. Baby’s first big adventure

#The Baby of the Castle #we’ve been harness training and we STILL are working on being comfy with the leash #but me and roommate are OFFICIALLY The Dude’s Who Walk Their Cat #cats #animals #edit: she’s now CRYING by the front door we’ve created a monster

[dropssofjupitter]

Red as the Dawn

Pairing: Dramione

Summary: It has been 3 weeks since Hermione Granger died in a freak accident at Malfoy Manor. Consumed by his own grief, Draco blames himself for his beloved’s death, and gives in to the destruction devouring his mind.

Word Count: 3.7 k

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, mentions of blood, arson

Masterlist

A/N: This is my entry for the Dramione Death Fest on A03 because I am, first and foremost, an angst writer. This fic has not been beta read. Any mistakes or inconsistencies are my fault and mine alone. - I accidentally deleted this fic when trying to edit it, so this is fun

Draco was in tatters.

He was erratic; slashing portraits, throwing plates, burning the hedges that bordered the walkway in front of the mansion. The house-elves avoided him, his own mother, for once, didn’t know how to calm him down.

He spent his days wandering through the mansion, destroying whatever the house-elves had fixed the night before. He went from room to room, upending tables, tearing curtains, ripping apart books.

Each day he reigned over his realm of self-destruction, and each day he paused before one door. He would walk up to it, determination draining from him with every step. Some days he would simply stare at it, and then move on, leaving it untouched. But other days he would let his hand rest on the doorknob, his forehead pressing against the cool wood, and let his memories take him away.

“Honestly Draco, I don’t understand why we can’t just put my study with yours. It’d be much simpler.”

“Because, Granger. Your workspace is absolutely filthy, and I don’t want that mess bleeding onto my side.”

Hermione scoffed, indignant. “It is not filthy.”

Draco stared at her, his hand resting on the doorknob to the room that would henceforth be known as Hermione’s study. “Ignorance is not a good look on you Granger,” he stated simply, opening the door and slipping through before Hermione could throw one of the numerous books overflowing in her arms at him.

She shuffled in after him, a retort that was poised and ready on her lips dying as soon as she saw the room. “Merlin’s beard,” she breathed out, turning in a wide circle.

A mahogany desk sat against one of the walls, a large ornate office chair seated behind it. On the desk sat a nameplate, perched towards the edge and accompanied by fabulously extravagant bookends. Parallel to the desk was an entire wall fitted with four wondrously large bookcases, two of which had already been filled with research books, journals, and memoirs that had previously been in the Malfoy library. Illuminating the entire room was a wall filled top to bottom with windows. Enchanted ivy climbed them from the outside, and multiple house plants hung and floated around the windows. Assorted chairs, benches, and even a couch decorated the remainder of the study, all enchanted to immediately conform to the users body.

Draco would never admit it to her, but he had taken weeks out of his schedule to personally design the study. He had haggled with construction workers over the prices of installation, and had even acquired his mothers help in absolving some of the blood curses placed upon the books that now filled the room.

“Do you like it?” he asked cautiously, hands clasped tightly behind his back in order to hide the nervous twisting of his fingers. His eyes bounced between her eyes, to her hands, to the books about to fall from her arms, and then back to the look of awe on her face. He would do anything in his power to make sure that she always looked as wonderfully happy as she did right now.

“Do I like it? Draco, its stunning!” She replied, a soft, incredulous laugh slipping from her lips.

He nodded his head, looking around the room. “It’s alright.”

She looked back at him, a bright smile lighting up her eyes. “Thank you, truly.”

His heart skipped a beat. His hands stopped twisting. A smile snuck its way onto his face despite his better judgement. “You’re welcome.”

“Draco, darling?” Narcissa called, her hand placed delicately on the staircase railing. “Are you alright?”

Draco’s head snapped up, his eyes narrowing and his lips turning into a snarl at the realization that he was interrupted once more. His hand left the door, and he turned sharply on his heel, walking swiftly past his mother in a swirl of black cloaks. “Perfectly adequate,” he replied with a sneer, returning with vigor to his previous path of destruction.

Narcissa sighed, her eyes looking forlornly towards the study. In the background she heard a crash echoing out from the living area. She flinched, hand inches away from the handle, and moved on.

~~~

Draco paced the halls of the manor like a caged animal. He walked, up and down, left and right, until he had patrolled the entirety of the manor over 20 times. Then he moved outside.

His feet slowed, ever so slightly. His breathing evened. And the feeling of an unknown pressure against his chest lifted, just a little. Here, he was free from the endless onslaught of memories. Here, he could relax and relent under the night sky.

His feet led him to the maze that decorated a small portion of the yard, his hands outstretched and brushing against the hedges as he passed them. He inhaled, deep and pure, and let his body carry him to the center of the maze.

There was a small stone bench in the middle, weathered from years of sitting stationary upon the ground. A pond bubbled nearby, magical fish of every variety content to swim in its waters.

Draco sat down on the bench, the tension leaving his body as he tilted his head up to look at the stars that littered the heavens. He closed his eyes, a soft smile perched treacherously on his lips. And then his heart twinged with a memory, and his peace was ruined.

“Draco keep up! You’re going to miss it!” Hermione called out, already yards in front of Draco as she ran frantically through the maze.

“Really Granger, is it that important?” Draco called back, feeling a laugh bubbling to the surface as he watched Hermione get swatted by an overgrown hedge.

“Oh just come on you twat!” She replied, a laugh slipping from her lips as well.

Draco turned the final corner, a goofy grin chiseled onto his face as he took in the scene before him.

Hermione had a muggle telescope set up to the side on the bench, already pointed at the sky and calibrated correctly. Astrology books lay strewn haphazardly around the mini safe haven, and a blanket was laid across the grass no more than a few feet away. She stood behind the telescope, bent at the knees as she peered through it.

She glanced up, her smile returning as she saw Draco. She waved him over to the telescope, excitement seeming to exude from her very being. “Well come on!”

Clasping his hands behind his back, Draco sauntered over, walking as slow as humanly possible.

Hermione, seeing this, waved her arms in exasperation and ran behind him, placing her hands on his back in an attempt to push him forwards. “You absolute prat!”

A deep, low chuckle escaped Malfoy’s mouth as he turned his head to look at her. “Why Granger, whatever do you mean? I’m walking as fast as I can!” He placed one of his hands on his chest and looked at her, appalled. “Are you claiming me to be a dishonest man?” he asked, incredulous.

“Well, I’m certainly not calling you an honest one!” she retorted, still hopelessly attempting to push Draco closer to the telescope.

He laughed again, relenting and continuing willingly towards the contraption. He hummed, contemplating his actions before bending down and peering through the eyeglass. “I don’t see what the excitement is about, honestly. It’s just the sky. We’ve seen it hundreds of times in - oh.” Draco’s thought was cut short as the stars began to rain down, trails of wispy ethereal light painting the inky blackness of the sky in their wonder. He moved away from the telescope, his head instead tilting up to look at the sky without the object’s assistance.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Hermione breathed out, her eyes trained on the sky as well.

Draco looked over at her, his heart beating erratically against his chest as a soft smile creeped onto his face. He watched as the heavens fell in her eyes, as her beauty built cities in his mind and tore down any deities previously known to man. He watched, helplessly, hopelessly, as he fell for her. Mind, body, and soul. “Yeah,” he breathed out, hands itching to intertwine themselves with hers as he watched her face light up. “It is.”

Draco opened his eyes, once again staring up at the stars that littered the heavens. He felt a now familiar ache return to his chest as tears began to blur his vision.

“You always were able to see the beauty in everything,” he whispered to himself, eyes wandering down to the corner of the stone bench. His hands ghosted over the initials carved there only weeks before. H.G. Hermione Granger. “Even in a monster.”

He felt a stray tear begin to slide down his cheek, and he quickly wiped it away, standing abruptly and walking towards the exit of the maze. Before he left, however, he turned. Gazing upon the place that had been so painful for him to exist in. Without a second thought, he lifted his wand, eyes staring at the cursed stone bench as he set the haven on fire.

He saw his mother run out of the mansion moments later, collapsing to her knees as she saw the destruction that her son had wrought, saw his true nature. He walked past her, pausing just behind her, and turned his head. She looked back at him, tears in her eyes along with an emotion that caused Draco to grit his teeth in anger. Pity.

He didn’t want, nor did he need his mother’s pity. He turned sharply, walking back into the darkened mansion and slamming the door behind him. Let her watch the wretched garden burn. Let her inhale the ash with every cry, and scream for the house elves as she desperately tried to put out the flames that he had created. He was done receiving her pity. And he was done avoiding his own.

With his anger rising and his emotions high, Draco stalked up to the study that he had avoided for so long. A concentration of magic that Draco hadn’t even known existed within him burst towards the door in his high emotional state and knocked it off its hinges. Without a second thought, Draco stepped into the room.

His mind went blank. His eyes took in the room, a thin layer of dust covering the objects. He saw photographs of him and Hermione decorating the walls, pictures of her parents, the plants that she had meticulously cultivated for so long in order to test their in a new sleeping drought. His eyes roamed over the bookcases, overflowing with double and sometimes triple stacked books, scraps of parchment sticking up from where she had found something of note in her research. Quills were set about in no particular order in the room, essentially guaranteeing that she would be able to have one handy at all times, just in case.

Draco inhaled, and his face crumpled. It still smelled like her.

The intoxicating scent of honeysuckle and cedar that he had come to know so well was stuck in the room, circulating over and over with nowhere to go. It filled his senses, overwhelming his mind and making everything else . . .muddled. He tried to take a step backwards, but his legs were weak. He stumbled.

His eyes slid over to her desk, and his breath caught in his throat.

A letter was perched on the edge of it, caught in between the two bookends that he had gifted her long ago. His name was written on the front in her messy handwriting. Hesitantly, he reached out towards it, his fingers smoothing back the folds in the envelope as he stared at it. Had this letter been here for him this whole time?

He flipped it over and was face to face with the glaringly red seal on the envelope. He dropped it.

Draco looked down at her body, convulsing on the floor. Red bloomed on her stomach, spiraling and twisting in intricate patterns as it soaked through her clothes. He had said many times that Hermione looked ravishing in red, but not this kind of red. This red was hot, and dark, and sticky. This red drained the color from her face every time it grew more vibrant.

He rushed over to her, falling to his knees and sitting in the puddle of her blood that had harrowed him so. His mind was racing, or was it numb? He couldn’t tell. He pulled out his wand and hoarsely spoke a healing spell. “Vulnera Senentur.” Nothing happened. Frantic, Draco tried it again, his voice stronger now. “Vulnera Senentur!” Nothing.

Hermione weakly opened her eyes, moving her lips in an attempt to speak.

“Shh,” Draco hushed her. “Save your strength Granger. You’ll be at St. Mungo's in no time.” His thumb caressed her cheek as he turned his head towards the door, calling for his house elf. “Winky! Winky I need you!”

Desperation filled his being. He couldn’t apparate her, or he would run the risk of splinching her. None of his healing spells or diagnostic checks were working. He didn’t know what to do.

Hermione raised her hand, wincing as she placed it on one of his arms. Her mouth moved again, and a hoarse whisper of his name escaped.

He looked back over at her, leaning his head down and touching his forehead to hers. “It’s okay Hermione, it’s going to be okay. Can you tell me what hurt you?” He shifted his weight, slowly and cautiously dragging her body into his lap. One of his hands ran over the cut in her stomach, and he grimaced.

“Draco. .” she whispered again, her hand moving steadily up his arm until she was able to cup his face. Her lips curved up in a small smile and she dragged her thumb over his cheek.

He leaned into her touch, looking down at her with hot, angry tears in his eyes. “Don’t you dare say it Granger. Don’t you dare say goodbye.”

“We both. .” she inhaled sharply, and it sounded wet and coarse. The cough that followed caused a small splatter of blood to find purchase on his shirt. “We both know that I’m not getting out of this alive.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he replied, his voice wavering as his own hand reached up to wipe the blood off of her chin. He cleared his throat, hands shaking as he gingerly held her face. “You’ve gotten out of worse scrapes than this. Bloody hell, you had Potter and Weasley for friends, the amount of pure chaos that follows those two should have gotten to you long ago.”

She laughed, her face growing paler by the second. “I’ve always been curious,” another deep, shuddering breath, “you know? I mean, this is the one question that I’ve never been able to answer.” She paused, and it almost looked as though she was staring past Draco and up at the ceiling. Her eyes were unfocused, her hand fell slightly on his face.

He brought his other hand up to hers and held it against his cheek, knowing what she wanted, and knowing what she deserved. She deserved an answer that would make her happy, that would make her peaceful. She deserved an answer that held just as many mysteries as the question, and one that was just as fantastical as the world she had been brought into.

“I. .” his voice caught, and he cleared his throat again, tears falling from his eyes. “I always liked to think that we never actually die. That our magic just gets passed on to some new witch or wizard. Someone like us.”

Her eyes focused back on his face, and her smile seemed content now. “I’d like that,” she said. Her voice was weak. Her breathing was shallow. Her hands and face were growing cold to his touch. “Maybe,” another wet cough shook her body. “Maybe our magic can find each other again. Like soulmates.” Her smile was shaky, and her eyes were beginning to shine with tears.

“Draco,” Hermione said, her thumb weakly running over his bottom lip. “Thank you for showing me what it’s like to be loved.”

And then she was gone.

Her body went limp. Her hand fell from his face. Her eyes, once filled with an undeniable brightness and eagerness to learn and solve and question, were dull and void.

“Hermione?” Draco called out, his voice breaking. His hands were shaking. He was frantically running them over her face, her hands, trying to elicit some sort of response from her.

“No... no no no no.” Tears were streaming down his face as he picked up the wand that he had discarded earlier on the floor. He dropped it twice before he was able to properly hold it, and even then, his hands were shaking too much to perform the wand work required for the diagnostic spell.

Frustrated, he threw it across the room and gathered her body in his arms. He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers, willing for her to open her eyes and lecture him over the proper way to stir a wolfsbane potion, or to hit him and call him insufferable. To do anything.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please I . . I can’t . . I don’t know what to do without you.”

Draco hadn’t realized it then, but he knew it now.

When Hermione had died, he’d died with her.

He looked down at the letter on the floor beneath his feet, and stooped down to pick it up. He flipped it over in his hands, looking once more at the bright red seal. The image of Hermione, on the ground, covered in her own blood came back to him, and he closed his eyes, gripping the letter in his hands like a lifeline.

Even if it hurt him. Even if it somehow caused him more pain than he was already feeling, he had to know what she had written to him.

Carefully, he opened the letter and unfolded the parchment, his eyes watering as he scanned the page.

My heart,

I had hoped that you would never receive this letter, and never have to feel the pain that you are going through right now, but alas, it seems inevitable.

I suppose that I should explain what this is, though I would wager that you have already guessed. Upon my death, however likely or unlikely, I had arranged for a letter to be sent to you. I updated the letter weekly, of course, to keep things recent and up to date. However, lately, I have been writing a letter to you every day.

It’s not necessary, in fact it’s far from that. It’s . . well I suppose it’s simply because I don’t entirely know how to fit everything into one letter. If you wish to read them, they should be stashed in the top left drawer of my desk.

On to the main purpose of this letter. To put it simply, I love you.

I’m not exactly sure when it happened if I’m being honest. Whether my affections began when we were forced to work together for a project in the Ministry, or when you had somehow memorized my caffeine schedule so thoroughly that it no longer surprised me when you brought me my morning coffee. But it happened.

I imagine that this is of no shock to you, considering that we are currently engaged, but I also know that you don’t hear the words enough. And I know that you doubt, every day, whether or not I will finally ‘come to my senses’ as you have put it before, and leave you for something or someone else.

If it wasn’t already evident, let me put it more clearly. I am yours, Draco Malfoy. Body and soul. I have been and always will be. I love you more than you will ever know, and more than I would ever care to admit.

And if I know you well enough, which I do, I know that you are blaming yourself for whatever has happened to me. Please, for your mother’s sake, mine, and your own, don’t. Know that I could never, ever, blame you for anything that has happened to me.

You are the one mystery in my life that I will never get bored of, the one puzzle piece that finally completes me, the one constant that I never want to change.

I can guarantee you. In my last few moments, all I will think about is you and the happiness that you have brought me. I will relive our first kiss, and your proposal. I will relive the day that I moved into the Manor, and that tea that I had with your mother where she showed me your baby photos.

And if I am so lucky, you will be there with me. And I will get to see you one last time. I will get to memorize every feature of your face, and your temperamental eyes. I’ll be able to run my hands over that scar on your bottom lip, and tell you how much you mean to me.

But most of all, I want you to learn how to be happy again. I want you to smile when you remember me, and correct my work when you go through my research. I want to be remembered as I am.

All my love, and so much more,

Hermione

Draco smiled weakly as he finished the letter, his legs finally giving out as he collapsed onto the floor.

He heard footsteps behind him, and moments later his mother’s arms wrapped around his shoulders. “It’s like she never left . .” she murmured, tears falling down her cheeks.

He looked up at the study once more, taking in the piles upon piles of research and notes and musings that covered the room. There, in that moment, in that place, he swore he could hear Hermione laugh at something snarky that he had said, and feel her hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t think she ever will.”

.

.

Add yourself to my taglist!

#Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco x hermione #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy angst #Hermione Granger #dramione #Harry Potter #dramione death fest #jupe writes

[redspiderling]

MCU Breakdown: That b-roll called Endgame

It's here. The film to end all films.

I’d like to point out for the sake of your sanity, that the amount of incompetence is so ridiculous, there’s nothing to be learned from this. I don’t have any pieces of film that I can build on, or offer fixes for. 

The mistakes are on such rudimentary concepts. It’’s like trying to find wisdom or offer a solution to an equation that insists that 1+1=12. No it doesn’t. It equals 2, and the Russos just suck at directing.

Starting with the obvious dig we are all aware of (sorry, I couldn’t help myself), apparently the Burtons have been living in dog years, because this kid aged 7 years from 2015 to 2018.

Also, they're like, 5m away from the target? Not exactly Hawk-eye, Hawkeye.

How about this one, doesn’t Bruce look like he shrank 4 sizes? The distance between Cap and that doorway can't be THAT big for Bruce to be that tiny.

How fucking lazy do you have to be, that FX studios edit green screens and place your actors in a conference room? Why couldn't they shoot this in the traditional way? And no, it's not the holograms, that shit can easily go ON TOP of the footage, no need to use green/blue screen, they are just lazy bastards with too much money, and can just green screen everything for no reason. 

And I know I'm not crazy, because in the next shot you can see him standing in practically the same spot but WOW, he's normal sized and appearing next to Rhodey now! If he was so far back he was tiny in the previous shot, he should have been significantly smaller in this one as well.

So sloppy.

Next on this travesty of a film, lets take a look at Natasha

Listen. I know we've been talking about changing the light to fit the mood, create an emotional atmosphere etc, but you can't do that in the same scene, ok? Natasha doesn't literally slightly shine up from a different angle (in the previous shot, the dominant light came from the left, now it’s from the right) when Cap walks through the door.

Also, if it was just the sandwich. And the... glass. And the water in the glass. And the book and the. Screen. Basically all the items on the table. If all the items on the table were the only things you guys moved, between Natasha closing her eyes and then opening them again when Cap spoke up, I wouldn't have mentioned it. But you ZOOMED IN, and turned your camera A BIT to the right, and now there's an entire bookcase behind her that wasn't there before. The fuck man. Someone needs to look into whatever it is that's haunting Headquarters.

This probably goes without mention but between the Avengers' meeting 5 years ago, the scene in the spaceship when they take off, and now Natasha at her desk 5 years later, the light has practically remained the same. The characters have been transformed, emotionally. They've grown for 5 YEARS. They've been through enormous emotional changes in these few scenes and yet they had to literally go to a different planet, to get a noticeable change in the light and the colours. No, Natasha's hair and regained eyebrows don't count as colour changes. That's Scarlett going bananas with the few things she had some control over.

Also, I know the following isn’t related to the visuals but who am I kidding, I’m going to point it out:

So, apparently, Steve went there to see a friend. Same friend who is crying in front of him, because Clint is on a murder spree. So Steve, fresh back from his support group goes to see Natasha, who is emotionally distressed, and Natasha offers him her food. 

Give her back her sandwich, you monster! 

By the way, you don't get to say "not us" Steve. You only go there to do your laundry, eat Natasha's sandwiches, and tell her that the work she does, to keep the survivors safe, "doesn't need to be done".

So your depressed friend Natasha is crying Steve, because keeping the world safe is hard work. She offers you her food, and in return you say that what she does is probably not worth her time.

Is anyone. Literally anyone, proofreading this script? Are the directors consciously directing?

Russos: Ok Chris you're being casual and positive. Say you would offer her to cook, be supportive, but that you actually can't because you can't cook. So you’re not actually being supportive, you just say you potentially could have been. Now Scarlett, push YOUR food to him because, well that's what a crying Natasha will do and Chris, don't pressure her to eat or anything just, tell her maybe she should give up trying to save the world.

... WHAT IS THIS SCENE?

Moving on before I get an aneurysm

5 years have come and gone, but the lighting in this room remains exactly the same. 

They shot these scenes on the same day and didn't bother changing the lighting at.all. Seriously. On a 120+ million dollar budget. And they couldn't change the lighting on these two completely different scenes that were set 5 whole years appart, and just happened to take place in the same space?! 

Actually, fuck the lights, They Didn’t Even Move The Camera.

Lazy ass bastards.

Lets look at our friendly neighbourhood Australians

Room A on day 1 before the murder

Room A on day 1 after the murder

Bright, shiny, it's a beautiful day outside vs Night time, high contrasts, storming outside. Also, camera angles. Top one is casual close up, two people chatting. Next one is closer to the floor, taken from the level of the murdered woman. For fucking dramatic effect.

There's more, check this out. The Avengers about to go and kill Thanos

And the Avengers having lunch

So, just to make things clear, basically Scarlett did the job for the Russos and regrew her eyebrows and changed her hair so that we could tell the difference between "about to go to war" and "having lunch". 

Steve's shirt is even the same colour as it was 5 years ago. 

I’m glossing over the fact that we see food and Hulks head and in the background barely visible from the horrible lighting we kinda see Natasha and Steve’s faces. Just the faces though, for the expression you should fix the brightness through your video players guys.

Aaaah. Much better. It took me about 30 seconds to fix that frame. With a magic, secret software called Adobe Premiere. Just don’t tell Marvel it can be done, ok?

You know what else looks exactly the same? Happy, fullfilled, family man Tony, and depressed and isolated "5 Avengers for the price of 1" Natasha

Be honest with yourselves. There's a bunch of us on this website who could have done a better job shooting this film.

There’s a bunch of us on this website who could have done a better job shooting a film that made close to 3 billion dollars in the theatres.

I just fixed the brightness on the frame of a film that cost 120+ million dollars. 

Life is a lie.

#MCU Breakdown #can't believe I wasted my evening for this #endless endgame bashing #the only tag that matters #Natasha Romanoff Deserves Better #she fucking does #can't believe she offered Steve her sandwich #Endgame Steve is an asshole

[thelarryficrecplace]

Larry Fics Masterpost - Christmas Edition 2019

Merry Christmas people!! It’s this time of the year again! Following my previous masterpost, I’ve decided to make an updated one!

Here’s some more of my absolutely favourite Christmas fics:

Home for the Holly Days by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: Or, Louis’s participating in the Secret Santa exchange between all the Hogwarts professors stuck at school over the winter holidays, and the Sorting Hat may fancy itself a bit of a matchmaker.

Word count: 2,421

Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?

The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.

Word count: 2,853

You Should Be Here With Me by dimpled_halo:

Summary: Louis is finishing the last touches of his outfit when the doorbell chimes downstairs. He freezes midway through buttoning his shirt. Again, if he’d known what was going to happen today he’d have brought a better outfit, but it’s whatever. He holds his breath, hearing as the door is opened and some murmurs Louis can’t quite make out. He doesn’t miss the deep rumble of Harry’s voice. Louis may not be able to understand what is being said from up here, but that deep voice is unmistakable. It sends shivers through his body.

Louis is home for the holidays and doesn't expect his mum to invite his ex and his family over for Christmas. All the feelings he's had bottled up since breaking up with Harry before going to uni come back in full force.

Word count: 3,000

Snowdrops and Mice Pops by OhHarold:

Summary: The boys are stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas incapable of taking the Hogwarts Express back to London. A botched together friends Christmas would have to do.

Word count: 3,300

Make The Yuletide Gay by hollytabatha:

Summary: Louis has a disdain for Christmas songs and ugly Christmas sweaters, but maybe spending a night with Harry will change that for good.

Word count: 3,411

One Week, Eight Hours by daggerinrose:

Summary: or: a production assistant with no experience in front of a camera interviews a rockstar with old shoes and a distasteful attitude.

Word count: 3,560

Unto You by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: Louis is a lamplighter celebrating the saturnalia season in his own way.Harry is heavily pregnant and new in the city.The holiday of Christmas is yet to be created.

Word count: 3,671

pull your-elf together by EmmyLouWho:

Summary: Or: Santa's Winter Wonderland is a great place to fall in love.

Word count: 3,947

Santa's Lap by larryatendoftheday:

Summary: A Christmas story about unexpected gifts, featuring Harry as a mall Santa and Louis as a great big brother.

Word count: 4,227

Is that a candy cane in your pocket? by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie):

Summary: Louis accuses Harry of shoplifting. Harry was definitely not shoplifting.

They work it out.

Word count: 4,868

i'll be yours for christmas by rina_a:

Summary: My family invited you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry.

Word count: 4,874

since we've no place to go (let it snow) by midnights:

Summary: ft. harry flaunting his cooking skills, crying at classic christmas movies, and a dog named george bailey.

Word count: 4,759

Set Your Heart A-Whirl by QuickedWeen:

Summary: Harry comes home for his family's big Christmas party and learns something surprising about his past.

Word count: 4,975

In this light (I fell for you) by Larryfissure:

Summary: Christmas AU where Harry is going to perform his very first concert and Louis is his mute (and very supportive) boyfriend. Also lots of kittens, bad puns and boyfriends being cute.

Word count: 5,334

Sympathy For The Devil by taggiecb:

Summary: Or the one with Santa Harry and Satan Louis and a series of misspelled letters to Santa.

Word count: 5,412

I'll Wait Up For You, Dear by dimpled_halo:

Summary: After not being able to afford to go home for the holidays, Louis is resigned to spend Christmas alone. When he stumbles upon his neighbor, Harry, he realizes he might not be so lonely after all.

Word count: 5,753

I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm by haloeverlasting:

Summary: Or, Louis' heat is out, Harry's a terrible upstairs neighbor, and an empty Christmas tree is the perfect excuse to fall in love.

Word count: 7,477

You're Never Alone with a Moon this Bright by HelloAmHere:

Summary: Louis was a monster. But sometimes, even monsters get a Christmas.

Word count: 7,619

Rated R by cherrystreet:

Summary: Louis gifts Harry with a surprise sex tape, and it accidentally makes its way into Harry's family Christmas party. Ridiculousness ensues.

Word count: 7,635

A Story For the Ages by FallingLikeThis:

Summary:  He should have known it was coming. After seven months of pretending to have a boyfriend in order to keep his mum from meddling in his love life again, he should have realized he’d have to actually introduce her to someone eventually.

Word count: 7,706

Moon Wrapped in Gold Paper by larrymylove:

Summary: The first time Louis meets Harry, several things go very wrong.

Word count: 7,932

A Christmas Wish by Snowy38:

Summary: "So when are you going to tell him?"

Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.

"Next question," he mused.

Lottie rolled her eyes.

"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."

"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.

She shrugged.

"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."

That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.

"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.

"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"

Louis sighed.

"Fear mostly."

Word count: 8,780

Meet Me Underneath The Mistletoe by 4ureyesonly28:

Summary: Louis flies out to Chicago for business just before Christmas... His flight home is cancelled because of a snow storm and he ends up going to his colleague Niall's Christmas party where he meets the most gorgeous man he's ever seen. And if they end up under the mistletoe within less than an hour then that's nobody's business but theirs.

Word count: 8,831

There's really nothing better (than a beautiful boy in an ugly Christmas sweater) by we_are_the_same:

Summary: In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Louis takes on a few more shifts at his part time job to be able to buy Christmas presents for his family and friends. In comes Harry, who might be everything Louis had never asked for. Featuring ugly Christmas Sweaters, too many Christmas songs, and not enough snow.

Word count: 9,087

you've set my soul to dreaming by we_are_the_same:

Summary: Or: Thirty year old Harry Styles goes to bed single on Christmas Eve, only to wake up on Christmas morning with a husband in his bed and a son down the hall.

Word count: 9,279

Make The Yuletide Gay by flowercrownfemme:

Summary: A Christmas In Connecticut AU in which Louis is a mommy blogger, Harry is a pop star, and nobody's really what they seem. Featuring a lot of lying, tons of domesticity, some badly faked heterosexuality, and a few Christmas kisses.

Word count: 9,769

sidewalk angels echo hallelujah by nooelgallagher:

Summary: When Louis' dog goes missing 7 days before Christmas, he doesn't have much hope for a Christmas reunion. But miracles come in all shapes and sizes, and Harry just might take the form of his.

Word count: 9,978

Brighten My Northern Sky by twoshipstiedup:

Summary: Harry, Louis, a phone number and fate

Word count: 10,030

make my wish come true by flicker_album:

Summary: Or the one where Louis starts decorating for Christmas in November and Harry indulges him.

Word count: 10,137

The Clock Strikes Christmas by jacaranda_bloom:

Summary: OR the one where Louis needs someone to love, Harry needs a miracle, and sometimes, wishes really do come true.

Word count: 10,498

Candy Cane Eyes by larryent:

Summary: It’s the Christmas season in New York City. There are far too many mistletoes hanging in Harry's apartment building and there is a pair of mischievous candy cane blue eyes who is responsible.

Word count: 10,703

and marshmallows by BriaMaria:

Summary: The one where Harry has a personal attachment to Louis' house, and Louis can't stop picturing the beautiful stranger dancing in his kitchen.

Word count: 10,729

Take Your Time by Layne Faire (HisDarlin):

Summary: When Harry finds himself in the middle of a messy break-up with no place to live, Louis offers a spare room in his flat. Unbeknownst to Harry, Louis has been infatuated for years. Over the objections of their friends, who know the truth, Harry accepts. Can Louis survive Harry moving into his home…and closer to his heart? Will Harry see what's right in front of him?

Word count: 11,556

Maybe I'm Crazy To Suppose by twoshipstiedup:

Summary: A breakup before Christmas sends Harry back to a place he'd been avoiding for years.

One night with a stranger makes him want to stay.

Word count: 12,665

If the Fates Allow by afirethatcannotdie:

Summary: Louis yells at a stranger in a shop and a few days later, needs his help. Desperately. Then he discovers he’s kind of in love with him.

Word count: 13,039

The Christmas Lift by homosociallyyours:

Summary: Louis lies about having a boyfriend to avoid being set up on a blind date by an overzealous co-worker, but now he's in desperate need of a fake boyfriend for his office holiday party. He’s complaining about it on the phone to Liam when Harry, his unknown but hot neighbor, overhears him in the lift and offers to help.

It doesn't take long for Louis to realize he wishes things weren't quite so fake, but he's afraid it'll take a Christmas miracle to make anything happen.

Word count: 13,150

Christmas, Baby by nikogda:

Summary: Or, The one where the exact thing that Harry thinks is derailing his life plan might be exactly what he needs.

Word count: 13,191

Wrap me up in your Love by wickedarcher_08:

Summary: Or the one where Louis is pregnant and keeps getting interrupted in the most obscure ways every time he tries to tell Harry.

Word count: 13,223

to the light by fondleeds:

Summary: AU. Harry is a mermaid lost at sea and Louis is a boy determined to make his first Christmas a memorable one.

Word count: 13,304

Moments Stay When People Leave... by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry gets lost in the memories of the best relationship he'd ever had, and then threw away, breaking two hearts. He makes a decision just before Christmas, and can only hope Louis feels the same...

Word count: 13,855

All I Want Is You (This Christmas) by Dont_Stop_Larry:

Summary: Harry broke up with Louis early in 2014. Louis is trying to figure out life without Harry. Being stuck together on a Christmas vacation might just mend everything.

Word count: 14,019

Come What May by sincewewereeighteen:

Summary: The one in which Harry and Louis have been separated for almost a year, but their kids ask Santa to bring them together again.

Word count: 14,049

Made From Love by lovelarry10:

Summary: It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.

Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.

Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...

Word count: 14,690

This Winter's Day by QuickedWeen :

Summary: Louis is Harry's stablemaster, and when he falls ill and his mother turns to Harry to help her try and find someone he can settle down with, it's only natural that Harry suggests himself.

Word count: 14,871

The Lights Will Guide You Home by Dont_Stop_Larry:

Summary: The one where two oblivious men haven’t quite figured it out yet - but it may be too late for them.

Word count: 16,916

Christmas at the Holly Lodge by lululawrence:

Summary: Or the one where Louis is the owner of the Holly Lodge, Harry is an investment advisor, and maybe Christmas miracles really do exist.

Word count: 17,387

Make You Feel My Love by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife):

Summary: Harry decides the best way to go about telling his best friend that he's in love with him is to catch him under a conveniently placed mistletoe but that's not what happens.

Word count: 17,442

My Only Wish by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife):

Summary: Or an Secret Santa AU where Louis doesn’t know how it works and keeps giving Harry gifts and being not so obvious about his flirting.

Word count: 17,918

An Aurora Grove Christmas by dandelionfairies:

Summary: Harry gets lost on his way to St. Louis. The roads are horrid because of the snow and he ends up spinning into a ditch. Lucky for him, he finds a cabin nearby, as well as a cute blue-eyed man who immediately helps him. Unfortunately, his car is stuck for the night, but at least he has a place to stay with Louis. With the snow continuing to fall and another storm front coming through, will he ever make it out of Aurora Grove? Does he even want to?

Word count: 17,930

Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) by 2tiedships2:

Summary: Or the one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

Word count: 18,474

Part 2 here

This Winter Dream by hopeneverdies:

Summary: Louis Tomlinson is on his way home from New York City to spend Christmas with his family, but his trip is temporarily halted when his car breaks down in a small town upstate. A lonely barista, named Harry, offers him a place to stay for the night. It doesn't take long before Louis wants to offer something to Harry in return.

Word count: 19,065

Reindeer Games by Throwthemflowers:

Summary: Louis is a disgruntled elf and Harry is one of Santa’s reindeer. Featuring classic miscommunication, heaps of unrequited pining, gratuitous smut (with a bit of, shall we say, horseplay), a pinch of NYC holiday magic, and a sickening amount of Christmas Spirit.

Word count: 19,639

Six Weeks by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: When Harry takes the afternoon shift at the cafe, he meets a boy who drinks a lot of tea and never remembers his umbrella.

Word count: 20,023

All I Want For Christmas (Is Lou) by wickedarcher_08:

Summary: Or the one where Harry and Louis are each others Secret Santa

Word count: 20,550

So Put Your Hands In (The Holes of My Sweater) by Kat_rawr:

Summary: Harry and Louis go on a lot of not-dates.

Word count: 21,355

Better Not Pout, I'm Telling You Why by runaway_train:

Summary: The one where Harry still believes in Santa Claus and Louis doesn't want to be the one to burst his bubble.

Word count: 24,545

Lovin' you is a gift by messofgorgeouschaos:

Summary: With his 28th birthday approaching, Louis was looking forward to celebrating in New York City with an all-expenses paid trip. He just didn't expect to spend it with an escort when he suddenly finds himself single a few days before it. A Pretty Woman AU.

Word count: 25,462

Waited All Year To Be Near by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry’s preparing for the holidays at home with his four children while Louis is deployed. All he wants is his husband home for Christmas. But Louis’ half a world away...

Word count: 27,399

Let It Snow by crescentmoonshine:

Summary: Four years, four disastrous Christmas parties, four disastrous attempts to get it right.

Word count: 27,858

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups:

Summary: Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.

Word count: 31,880

From the Start by Anonymous:

Summary: Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

Word count: 32,185

Frosted Kisses by bromanceorromance:

Summary: Harry and Niall run a bakery called Sweet Cheeks. Louis is in line to become the next Santa Claus, but his best friend, Zayn, is the only one that knows. Louis wants Harry as soon as he sees him, but he's not ready to interrupt Harry's life with the "I'm the next Santa" news until it's almost too late.

Word count: 34,135

Latching Onto You by reminiscingintherain:

Summary: Or, the one where Louis wants to book Harry Styles to perform at his best friends' wedding.

Word count: 34,313

Find You Home by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie):

Summary: When Louis lies to his family and says he’ll bring his new boyfriend home for Christmas, his best friend and roommate Harry agrees to play the part. It’s that, or be left alone over the holidays.

What will happen? No one knows! Perhaps Santa will swoop in with a Christmas miracle.

Featuring lovesick idiots, kissing and cuddling, pies and Christmas clichés.

Word count: 35,388

Feels Like Christmas by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry Styles has always loved Christmas - it’s his favourite holiday, but there’s always been something missing.

Louis Tomlinson has been running from his pain, and is determined to ignore the holidays once more, choosing to spend them in solitude.

When they meet - entirely by chance - it could be just what they both need this Christmas...

Word count: 49,630

the impossible now by stylinsoncity:

Summary: A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

Word count: 64,839

#larry #larry au #larry fic #larry fic rec #larry fics #fic #fics #fic rec #fic recs #larry stylinson #larry fic recs #christmas fic #christmas fics #christmas au #christmas masterpost #christmas #merry christmas #larry christmas #larry masterpost #masterpost #holiday fics

[sleepyskunk]

Deconstructing the 2017 Movie Trailer Mashup

Why deconstructing a mashup? Because these videos are often perceived as a random mess of pretty images from movie trailers. While that’s absolutely true, there’s an opportunity to explore themes and also pay a few obscure tributes to elements that don’t belong in the video itself but that are generally widespread within pop culture. These montages have been going on for a few years now, and it’s hard to edit the footage in a way that won’t feel reminiscent of one of the many great retrospectives put out by other talented editors in years past. I have to say that trying to build a narrative with all that footage has now become more enticing to me than to highlight the moments that made the year in cinema within their proper context. Let’s get right into it, shall we?

Someone on Reddit commented: “starting off with GEOSTORM, that’s a bold move!” and it didn’t even cross my mind. The shot was exactly where I wanted to go right off the bat - a blend of childlike wonder and eerie caution reminiscent of earlier Tim Burton films. The track was composed for a television spot called “A Wonderful Day” from IT and it showcases major Danny Elfman influences. Thus, this was my small tribute to the Burton/Elfman collabs happening under snowfalls like EDWARD SCISSORHANDS or BATMAN RETURNS. I loved the contrast in dialogue from PERSONAL SHOPPER which was such an under-appreciated indie film this year. Every mashup has its horror section, but I am gently sneaking you in by the supernatural door this time around. It’s just innocent enough to deceive those who hate horror.

Childlike wonder flawlessly captured in one shot, from the lens of Matt Reeves. I can’t say I connect emotionally with his APES movies, but the quality control on every frame, CGI or otherwise, it pretty much above and beyond all industry standards. That facial expression is exactly what I needed, you can tell she’s not too sure whether she’s safe or not but without feeling properly scared either. This is like the part in the original POLTERGEIST where kitchen chairs are moving on their own and the family still thinks it’s kind of fun. Kind of.

KING ARTHUR is the best type of release when it comes to trailer mashups because 1) it had a fantasy undertone 2) it was tracking poorly and 3) it went way over budget. Big studios know months in advance if they have a major bomb on their hands, and they have two choices at that point: either stop spending a penny on it and dump it for a quick theatre run and VOD release (more common if the movie didn’t cost that much) or, like in this case, spend extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad. Those extra millions go towards CGI money shots like the one above, which is really meant to make the marketing more attractive and oh dear lord, did KING ARTHUR have some last minute money shots to offer or what? It was a joy to pick and choose from its nine trailers.

This is where I put my cards on the table, whimsy never happened and I am taking you all to creepytown. That shot from ANNABELLE: CREATION is one of the many that upstages the featured evil doll in that wonderful movie and the film’s cinematographer Maxime Alexandre reached out because he was happy so much of his work was featured. You never know in front of who your videos can end up and industry people are keen on celebrating the year in film, especially if their own works are included. This is just a top notch unsettling shot clearly inspired by THE SHINING (the girl’s dress and the way her arms look lifeless.) On a side note, I always manually add all sounds including that floor cracking. If anyone reading this is starting off editing mashups, I promise you one thing: using professional, isolated, studio-recorded sound effect packages such as BOOM library is much superior to the original trailer track (unless you get a clean sound within the trailer.)

Another random insight (if you’re interested in making your own movie mashups) is to try as much as possible to avoid that one marketing shot everyone recognizes. You can revisit a memorable moment but going straight to the most oversold shot of a film hurts you. While you’re eager to make everyone relive the most epic imagery of the year, some value gets lost when a studio bombarded the same shot over and over and you go for it. Two quick examples: Giant hologram JOI pointing at Ryan Gosling in BLADE RUNNER 2049. I wanted that moment, but the original side-scroller shot was so overused that I went with her from a closer angle (see video thumbnail). Another example is that uncomfortable sniffle from Daniel Kaluuya in GET OUT which I favored over the super overplayed mouth open crying paralyzed shot from every marketing piece. In both cases, I assume you know which shots I am referring to without having to show them. Trying the alternative makes us relive the moment without its obviousness. It gives that other shot they didn’t choose its moment to shine (and more often than not, it’s just as effective.)

Someone’s not getting much sleep. A CURE FOR WELLNESS is a gorgeous-looking film no matter what you think of its bizarre plot points. I spend much of the first segment flirting with the creative key points from IT. One I tried to play around with is the idea of Pennywise as a half-real/half-fiction monster, and how similar to Wes Craven’s A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET his realm of terror extends. A few winning concepts in both films: 1) He isn’t real but he can really hurt you so you have to stay on your guard at all times and 2) Only a select few have been cursed with having to deal with him, adding a psychological layer to an already spooky premise. Dane Dehaan looks like a kid from Derry, or Elm street if you prefer, whose mental focus seems affected by the fact that he saw something, and his friend saw him too. Meanwhile, I throw in a completely out of context quote from Vanessa Redgrave which ties in that mysterious “sickness” from Verbinski’s film.

A shot from PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN from a trailer edited by Kees van Dijkhuizen Jr. for Annapurna Pictures where he works as an in-house editor now. In 2015, I talked about Gen Ip’s storytelling approach and last year I praised Matt Shapiro’s famously epic crescendos, so this year, let’s talk about Kees a little bit because I find all their influences fascinating. My first observation is how far his much-adored Cinema series has taken him, and that one of the top production houses in the business (if not the top, sorry A24 and Fox Searchlight) hired him so he could bring his own distinct style onto their major features. The whole trailer mashup craze started off only a few years back and so many editors were recruited right off YouTube to turn their passion into a livelihood down in Los Angeles. I can think of at least six editors whose names you’d recognize and who are now living the dream, and I consider this to be really inspiring because none of them initially got into it thinking something like that was ever possible. (side note: I also moved to L.A. and was poached by a trailer house but prefer to keep things on the low-end until it’s been long enough. I wouldn’t want to jinx it.)

The second observation about Kees is how much influence he’s had on every mashup that gets uploaded on a daily basis every December (me included) - I will link his Cinema series below. Instead of pairing clips into a horror bit, an action bit, a laughing and dancing bit, a kissing and crying bit, Kees was always out to create new feelings and nothing ever seemed more important than proper flow. Many shots would pop-up that you would never expect thematically, images of moving objects like a breaking glass transitioned with a girl’s hair waving through the wind (also see the lie detector in the previous shot.) He would connect nature documentaries right along with major superhero blockbusters and the movements flowed so perfectly that nothing ever felt out of place, quite the contrary. He was the best shot curator we’ve ever seen, and the order in which he put them together was beyond logic and predictability. Imagine “One Perfect Shot” but with 275 perfect shots back-to-back. If you want a prime example of what I’m referring to (random objects and flow), check out 2:49 - 2:52 from his Cinema 2011 (links below). Kees set the bar so high that attempting an end-of-year mashup certainly felt foolish at times, but hoping to improve made the editing process all the more inspiring.

CINEMA 2008 | CINEMA 2009 | CINEMA 2010 | CINEMA 2011 | CINEMA 2012 

So apparently, they have the internet and flat-screen TV’s in RINGS but landline phones are still a thing. Quite frankly, I haven’t seen RINGS and I bet it’s aggressively ordinary, but how retro horror is that shot? Paired up with the voice of THE SNOWMAN saying “Mister Policeman” it’s a throwback to Nancy being terrorized by Freddy in the original Nightmare of Elm Street (minus the tongue.) I was also pleased with the aesthetic of HAPPY DEATH DAY, clearly the product of horror fans who grew up during the low-budget slasher craze of the early ‘80s. It’s got MY BLOODY VALENTINE written all over it (meanwhile their poster was paying homage to APRIL FOOL’S DAY.) Retro horror, in all its disturbing practical gore glory! Rick Baker, Tom Savini, how much we missed you in our modern times where only a few major productions have enough VFX money to escape the uncanny valley (and even then... *cough* JUSTICE LEAGUE.)

I always tend to edit right on tempo, which means switching shots at the exact moment the music beat tells you to. But over here, I thought this elevator drop from FLATLINERS looked so frenetic and out of control that I started it half a second before as if the beat couldn’t keep up! Like in cartoons when the car accelerates so fast that it takes off but their eyeballs are standing still for a little fraction. This whole mashup sequence is meant to be a little cartoony and tongue-in-cheek. To anyone who found this to be disturbing (and yes, I heard from a few viewers who said it was too much) I must admit that it wasn’t my intention. I won’t apologize for my work, people choose to watch if they want to or not. But if I really tried my best to scare the crap out of you, I can assure you THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE wouldn’t have made the cut.

Now channeling a CHILD’S PLAY vibe thanks to this retro television shot from the highly underrated BRIGSBY BEAR. A kids program works well as an element of fear because it’s supposed to be a safely protected zone of positivity and care, just like a doll or a clown for that matter. Once that turns on its head and begins to attack, you basically have nowhere else to hide. It also makes for great contrast, and Andy Muschietti must have had an absolute blast this year incorporating this component into his remake of IT. The bear costume was one of the many shots that wasn’t from a horror movie and yet I used to great effect in this section. I know there was a new CHILD’S PLAY movie this year but sadly, it didn’t hold a candle to the Hitchcockian original.

“At the end of the day, people are out for themselves.” That’s not true, and only people who are out for themselves could believe that. Because if you’re weighing low on the morality scale at some point in life, you still wanna go to bed thinking you’re a good person. So if you can’t justify what you did, the best logical next step is to convince yourself that human nature is to blame, that everyone else would have done the same as you. Ask people who were charged with insider trading on the stock market, they’ll always say “everybody was doing it.” I could refer to a certain World War to keep hammering that point but instead, I’d like to point out the interesting contrast between this and Part 3. I try to disprove that very statement by showing in the finale that everything we do that matters is for others, and others are the only thing that matters once everything else has come and gone.

The KING ARTHUR studio spending extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad money shot festival continues. EPIC! In fact, that shot is so gorgeous, you could place it anywhere in any mashup ever and it would probably work.

Having a bit of fun giving a more literal visual cue to IT’s “We all float down here” with Guillermo Del Toro’s hypnotically beautiful THE SHAPE OF WATER. However, it’s not the tudum tssshh, get it? movie connection that works here. It’s the underwater sound effect and the incredible sound mixing by trailer house Buddha Jones so that Georgie’s voice seems to come from the bottom of the ocean. This is likely the best sound work you’ll hear in the entire mashup, and I didn’t mix it, the editors behind that teaser trailer did. In fact, their work was so effective at scaring people that it earned twice the amount of views on YouTube than what Avengers: Infinity War received. A fact Kevin Feige will likely never admit.

That moment when you realize your manic pixie dream girl wears white socks! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I've used vulgarity in the past but not every year, depends whether it brings value. Some of you may remember “Game on, c***suckers” from KICK-ASS 2 in 2013 or “Nap time, motherf***ers” from COOTIES in 2015. Perhaps there’s another guilty pleasure at play here, however, which is that feeling of pure creative freedom. As mentioned earlier, not everyone digged the horror undertone of this year’s Part 1 and that’s okay because it went exactly where I wanted to go and no compromise was made. No client notes. No studio revisions. No censor beeper (which makes it worse because we seek to find out what the word was.) If you get into professional careers that are creative in nature, you’ll find that teamwork, compromise, and not taking anything personally are all essential components for success. But when the movie trailer mashup comes around, I report to no one. And that moment from THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING MISSOURI is one I wanted included as soon as the red band trailer came out.

This shot comes from a small movie you should seek out called MY NAME IS EMILY starring Evanna Lynch (aka Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movies.) The film was directed by Simon Fitzmaurice who was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease (ALS) a few years ago, the debilitating disease for which the viral ice-bucket challenge was based on. He wrote the screenplay for this movie while his body was entirely paralyzed, and the only way he could communicate with the cast and crew while shooting the film was through eye gaze technology. There was a documentary following his brave journey that played Sundance called IT’S NOT YET DARK. Check it out if you need some real work ethic motivation and want to feel truly inspired about overcoming challenges. Much better than THE DISASTER ARTIST which is a spoof about a millionaire with no talent who mistreated the people who worked on his film. Okay, it’s still very entertaining and James Franco is hilarious but I don’t get a ‘never give up’ vibe from it, more like ‘maybe this isn’t for you.’

With the second segment, I was going for a British Gangster film vibe, hence the music cue Main Offender by The Hives. No movie captured that feeling better than Ben Wheatley’s FREE FIRE this year. I find the criminals in British movies are equally as clever in their quips as they are dangerous and often have the appearance of fair, well-behaved citizens until they have a reason to go mad. Jon Hamm’s performance in BABY DRIVER was also a textbook definition of that archetype, because all the build-up scenes where he acts friendly and discusses music with the titular character only bring an element of surprise at the end of his arc (spoilers: he’s not that nice in the end) I am aware that BABY DRIVER takes place in America but it’s directed by a Brit so it counts!

If Kubrick only knew his famous jump cut from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY that connects a flying bone to a space shuttle would lead to this fifty years later. What a shit show jump cuts have become! But they’re fun, and let’s be honest here: 7 minutes of serious quotes about life would get a little heavy. The way you edit jump cuts is the same way to solve a puzzle with over a thousand pieces. Extract dozens of short action clips onto your timeline and try to make them fit with one another over and over until you’re entertained. I mean, the music stays the same in the background, all I am doing here is deciding which projectile this pair of underpants from CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS will become. The answer was a tranquilizer from the underground mall chase sequence in Bong Joon-ho’s excellent OKJA. Maybe we should try one really long domino of jump cuts one day. Should take forever to edit, but how much fun would it be?

Did you know that Academy Award winner Alicia Vikander was a professional ballet dancer before she started acting? Work ethic applies in everything you do. When you hear about successful actors, you often discover people who are world-class at delivering under pressure and dedicating themselves to their craft with an insane amount of work. Acting is hard and yet so many people think they can do it, which makes it even harder. At least ballet puts constraints right off the bat, you need flexibility and a specific body frame. Part 3 is about finding your passion AND putting in the work. Just finding your passion is hard! It’s not always the bottomless pit one could hope for, especially when it becomes a real job with hours upon hours of work. Many people don’t even know what their passion is, they know what they’re good at but don’t love it. “Without your passion, it’s very hard to find our place in the world.” I don’t think you need your income to come from your passion in order to find said place, but I wish everyone that many of the limited hours they have each day goes towards their passion, and not towards something that feels like a waste of time. Wanting to wake up has everything to do with what happens after your first cup of coffee. Put your time towards something meaningful to you, even if it’s only on evenings and week-ends and you’ll never make a penny from it. If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter. If you love to travel, just GO!

But what happens when your family conflicts with your passion? Would you leave them behind to pursue your dreams? We all remember the tragic scene from DEAD POETS SOCIETY where a young scholar gets forced by his father to become a doctor instead of his passion and commits suicide. And then we have this year’s COCO, Pixar’s big comeback, where music is prohibited in Miguel’s family but it’s all he dreams about. But that conundrum doesn’t even have to be confrontational in nature. What if you wanted to work in a low-paying field like online journalism because it’s what you love but your single parent (who always took care of you) became sick and needed you to take care of their treatment. What happens then? What comes first? I humbly try to answer that later in the segment, of course.

We always told you Daniel Radcliffe... you’re special. That’s why you have a scar on your forehead that looks like a bolt... Just kidding, poor guy. I look at Mark Hamill in THE LAST JEDI and keep thinking that if studios are still a private enterprise in 40 years, some new Harry Potter movie will come out in which an old bearded Radcliffe will be teaching at Hogwarts. (PS: he keeps making bold choices, so much so that I am willing to watch anything he’s in.)

A man’s reach... (or woman, btw) should exceed his/her grasp. Words from a poem by Robert Browning, suggesting that, to achieve anything worthwhile, a person should attempt even those things that may turn out to be impossible. The downside with attempting the impossible is two-fold, however. 1) You may spend your life trying and never succeed. 2) If you do get there after so much sacrifice and effort, the world will expect you to do it again, or to keep doing it at the same level or better. If you won a Gold medal at the last Olympics, what are the expectations for the upcoming Olympics? That’s where passions and dreams enter a darker road, one many people choose to avoid altogether. But whatever happens, it’s worth the risk as long as you have the one thing along the way that’s a hundred times more important. And that thing is...

...people who love each other! Look at this guy, he just figured it out!

Kate Mara in MEGAN LEAVEY really seems to be the one thinking out loud in this shot while we hear a quote from THEIR FINEST. I had a blast with the Freddy Krueger references earlier but this is my favorite part. Audiomachine make the best tracks to bring that crescendo to its proper peak. You can say this part of the mashup is more in my comfort zone. And the influences from Kees that I discussed earlier can be felt here. Some shots of objects and landscapes that aren’t thematically connected but keep a nice flow. I also handpicked the best cinematography of the year all at once here. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS was a damn pretty movie, then SHAPE OF WATER, then THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS, then OKJA. Every shot looks like a million bucks. Notice the use of paper, letters and ink. I want to see you again, a character from EVERYTHING EVERYTHING writes on a sheet.

Family comes first is nice, but along with family comes conflict and distance at times. Things we said that we regret. Times we let each other down, or weren’t there when we needed to. All the papers dropping from the bridge, all the shots that refer to letter writing, that’s where I was going with that. Not always obvious because it moves so damn fast which is why I do this deconstruction blog post every year!

The final big lift from Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! Also, the first frame I added onto my AVID timeline. This is how I organize my work basically. I pick the right songs, then I identify the exact moments in that song where a big moment should happen - if you use trailer music, it will be crystal clear what those are. And then I try money shots in each of these spots over and over until one really, really fits. Then, I ask myself how did we get here, how can I get to that point? And build around these big moments. The second shot I added into the mashup was the little girl in Part 1 under the bed who points to another version of herself sleeping in her bed and says “Shhh! That’s not me.” I put that in right when the music stopped, it became a big moment, and then I built around it in order to get there. Every editor works differently, but I am just sharing how I personally prefer to do it. Back in 2012, the first clip I added onto the timeline was “I have an army. We have a Hulk.” from THE AVENGERS which means I’ve been editing this way for five straight years.

Those letters of reaching out to people you care about. Apologies or wondering how they’re doing. Flying everywhere around Winston Churchill (that’s my dog’s name, he’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi!) I guess you should always be the one to reach out in difficult situations with important people. The mistake is to not reach out, or convince yourself that they were dragging you down and you’re better off without them. That’s rarely the case, and you’ll never get over them when you know that’s not the case. Maybe they will reply someday, maybe they never will. But you swallowed your ego and you decided to give it one more shot. That’s the bravest thing we can do in this life, and I hope you’ll see it that way if the time comes. Happy New Year! Achieve your passions, take care of the ones you love and make it a wonderful day! (Halle Berry: “Aaaarrh!")

- Sleepy Skunk

#2017movietrailermashup

[passionatefanfictionbka]

Chrianna Short: Truth or Truth

Rihanna sighed as she turned off her TV and closed the lid to her laptop. She leaned her head back against the back of the sofa and briefly closed her eyes. She felt a bit conflicted but not in a typical manner. He told a lot but he also kind of kept a lot secret, she wasn’t really sure if that was a good thing or not. Grabbing her phone, she dialed his number from memory and waited as it rang.

Chris ran his hands over his face before stretching them above his head in a yawn. He was tired but he still had a lot of work he had to get done. Just as he reached for his phone, it started ringing. He smiled at the name and picture that appeared on his screen before sliding over to answer the call. “Hey you.” “Hey Babe. What you up to?” “Nothing right now. Just finished going over the final editing of the doc. How about you?” “Umm nothing much.” Chris frowned at the sound of her voice, “Rih, you ok?” “Huh? I’m fine but I do kind of need to talk to you.” “Oh? Is it bad?” Rihanna chuckled, “no, it’s not bad. We just agreed that if we were ever feeling a way about something that we should discuss it so I wanna discuss something with you that’s all.” “Umm ok. You wanna talk on the phone, in person or what?” “It’d be better in person, if you not busy.” “I’m on my way.” “Ok. See you in a few.” Chris hung up, tucked his phone into his pocket then grabbed his hoodie and car keys before immediately leaving the house.

He knew something was up because Rihanna was waiting at the door for him, “Baby Girl? You ok?” She nodded her head and opened her arms to hug him. Chris kissed the side of her neck as he squeezed her tightly. Leaning back a bit, he realized her eyes were a little glassy like she had been crying. “Robyn, what is wrong with you? What happened? Did somebody hurt you?” “You’ll find out in a minute. Just relax.” She entwined their fingers together and started walking to the living room, “Did you want something to drink or anything?” “No. I want you to tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me.”

They sat down and Rihanna tucked her feet underneath her bottom as she turned to face Chris. He grabbed her hand and started rubbing circles on the back of it, “Baby Girl, what is going on? You know I don’t like seeing you cry.” “Just a simple question.” “What?” “Do you hate me?” “Do I what? Robyn, you’re talking crazy.” “Chris, just answer the question.” “No, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. Why would you ask me that?” “Do you think you should hate me?” “No. Why would you say that?” “So…I finally sat down and watched the documentary you sent me.” “Oh,” Chris said as he sank back in his seat on the sofa. “Don’t look like that. I loved it, thought it was amazing but you left a lot of stuff out.” “I talked about what I felt was important and what I felt people needed to know. I’m not understanding the hate you questions though.” “You know we went through a lot.” “We did.” “And a lot of bad decisions were made.” “That’s true.” “I’m not understanding why you don’t hate me like I know we hashed all this out years ago but watching that, you had every reason in the world to hate me and you didn’t.” “I fell in love with you for many reasons; reasons I don’t think anyone outside of us could truly understand. Reasons that drove why I handled the situation the way that I did. There was no way that I could look at you feeling the way I’ve always felt about you and think that there was any other way to handle situation other than the way I did. You’ve always meant a lot to me and done a lot for me and dealt with a lot with me-” “But you’ve done the same with me” “Yes, I did but let me finish, people have their opinions about the way we should love each other and what we should and shouldn’t do for each other but that’s never mattered to either of us. I chose to stand in the line of fire to protect you and I have no regrets about it and I’d do it again if I had to.”

Rihanna twisted up her lip and moved to wipe her face, “hearing you talk about your childhood like that, just made me feel horrible. Like I can’t believe you survived all of that to then end up where we ended up and shit going left. I just-God, that was difficult to watch.” “Robyn, didn’t we talk about all of this?” “Yea and a hell of a lot more than that, which brings me to the question, why’d you leave so much out?” “Because what I didn’t say is extremely sacred to me. Everything we went through following all that time to be able to sit down and talk shit out like adults, stop arguing and being petty isn’t for mass consumption. Look people are gonna feel how they want about our relationship, say she deserves better, he deserves better none of that shit matters because everything I’ve ever wanted has always been in you. My mind hasn’t changed since I was a teenager and I’m not looking for it to change anytime soon. I could tell as much truth as I want but unless they could stand in our shoes, they’ll never get the whole story and I’m fine with that. I’ve come to terms that people will have their problems whether it’s in defense of me or in defense of you, if all we’ve been through hasn’t changed anything for me than nothing else will and I don’t want it to.” “I didn’t deserve a lot of what you did for me.” “According to who?” “Chris, let’s not be facetious here. You went through a lot of shit publicly.” “I did.” “And you took it on the chin when you could’ve just as easily cleared everything up.” “That’s true.” “And you could’ve also let me take that public fall.” “I could’ve but I didn’t want you to. I didn’t feel there was a reason for you to. We had both been through enough and everyone around you may not have seen but you were broken and I wouldn’t have been able to watch that and not do something about it. So yea, I took the scrutiny and I was gonna have to because no matter what you said or did, I had already lost in the court of public opinion. No matter how many times you said I wasn’t a monster, that you didn’t hate me, that it was simply a mistake, admitted to your participation, everyone had made up their mind about me so fast there was nothing anyone could do to change it. The photo, the police report created their own momentum and took off from there.” “That was just-.” “I know but I also know you were wrapped up in your own anger and problems, there was really nothing you could do. You were angry at me and the situation. I was angry at myself and worried about you. As much as I wished that shit would’ve went back to normal, it wasn’t gonna happen and I’m not even sure it was ever normal. The shit we were doing was dysfunctional, chaotic and just flat out fucking crazy. As perfect as we were for each other, we were toxic as hell sometimes.” “I know.” “I think there was just as much wrong with our relationship as it was right and we held on because we knew our good days were gonna come around right after those bad ones; instead of addressing the bad days, we just dusted ourselves off and kept it moving as if nothing was wrong, which we both knew wasn’t true.” “I think it’s because it was cycle we were so familiar with, we thought it was normal.” “That’s true. Baby Girl, we were young with a lot of power, ego and money. That’s a dangerous combination.” “It is. You get so used to everybody loving you, you take it for granted and think its gonna be that way no matter what you do.” “Yea. Truth of the matter is we both went through our battles, I just had to take mine on publicly while you got to deal with yours privately. Shit happens.” “So what went on between 2011- 2013, was sacred to you?” “Absolutely. I got what I wanted from you, we both finally understood where we both went wrong and acknowledged to each other our faults and bad decisions. I wanted a chance to prove that we weren’t a mistake, that our past relationship wasn’t a dictation of where we could go in future, that I wasn’t that same teenager from before.” “And I wanted to fix you. I think we entered into that second chance for all the wrong reasons.” “Yea. We should’ve waited. There was still too much that needed to be dealt with.” “I wanna ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me.” “Ok.” “Did you ever think I never loved you?” Chris sighed and ran his hand down his face, “Well…I wouldn’t say never loved me more so didn’t love me as much as I loved you. I think there were certain aspects of us that you gave your all too but at the same time you held back from me whether it was from fear or an inability, I didn’t know. Like I felt like you would jump in front of a bullet for me but you’d hesitate before actually doing it.” “Whereas you would’ve jumped in front of a bullet for me without even thinking about it.” “Yea but I accepted that because I accepted you and everything that came with you.” “Looking from the outside in, we don’t seem that great of a relationship.” Chris laughed, “Baby Girl, there was so much of our relationship that we enjoyed, we didn’t give the problems as much consideration as we should have.” “Did you ever feel like I left you for dead?” “Yes but I was ok with that.” “Ok with it because it was me or because you felt used to it?” “Both.” “And why is that?” “For you, I’d do absolutely anything besides I’m used to trying to carry the world on my shoulders by myself. Rihanna leaned her head against the back of the sofa and Chris mimicked her movements as he grabbed her hand, “You know I owe you my life, right?” “I don’t think so.” “You went through a lot because of what we had.” “I know but that was my choice. At any time I could’ve completely walked away, I could’ve said what really happened and let things fall where they may. I could’ve easily dragged you down with me but what would that have accomplished? We were both wrong. We both fucked up. Yes protecting you took me through a whole lot of shit but speaking ill on your name would’ve been just as bad. Us both being wrong doesn’t absolve me of any wrongdoing, it doesn’t justify the choices I made nor does it change the situation. It is what it is. What you did for me overrides anything we did to each other. I forgave you. You forgave me and we’ve built up a relationship/ friendship/ whatever anyone wants to call it that is million times better than what we had. You’re happy. I’m happy. That’s all that matters to me.” “What made you send me a copy of it?” “Have I ever mentioned you in anything and never got your blessing beforehand? Some things affect more than just me, I wouldn’t feel right putting it out and not at least mentioning it to you.” “I appreciate that. I’m so proud of you. I’ve always wanted for you to express yourself especially once we cleared the air with each other, I didn’t want you to still be carrying the weight of that on your shoulders.” “I know. I’m at peace now so I figured the time was finally right. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?” “Nope.” “No more crying?” “No more crying, I promise.” “Good because you had me worried. Rihanna giggled as she moved to sit in his lap. Chris wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek, “I missed you.” “I missed you too. You hungry?” “You cooking?” “I guess I can.” “That’s why you’re my wife.” “So you only love me for my cooking?” “Among some other things.” Rihanna scoffed and got up, “just for that, I’m going to bed and you can order in.” Chris raised his brow, “what?” “I ain’t know you was deaf now.” Chris smirked mischievously as he pulled his hoodie over his head, “you got five seconds.” “For what?” “To run.” Rihanna screamed playfully as she ran in her bare feet towards her bedroom just as Chris got up off the couch.

#chrianna shorts

[rebuildingability]

The Culture of Shame - and How to Stop Absolutely Hating Yourself

The shower water is running, and I’m standing in front of my bathroom mirror. The water still runs as I’m silently judging myself while trying to stand up straighter. I’m looking at myself wondering if I’m the only one who gets stuck in his own thought bubble of questioning their self-worth based on the physical appearance of their body. No. Probably not. I’ve now somehow convinced myself that I’m the only person on earth that wants to look or feel differently. I’m holding my breath trying to straighten my back while I notice the dirty laundry on my bathroom floor.

 ---

 We live in a world of pervasive self-documentation and scoring. The epitome of my generation is the class warfare we’ve brought upon ourselves with the advent of Instagram likes and comments. It is only natural that this greenhouse of constant self-scoring leads to a culture of tailored shame. That is, we view a systemic process of capture, edit, post with such gravity and importance that it creates an entire culture of be better. I like to credit Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly and other incredible works, with a fantastic definition of shame. She defines shame as, “... the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” I want to talk about how shame, the human body, and the realization of purpose can come from living with a physical disability.

 I used to think that there was no point in trying to become physically well - stronger, faster, more stable. When you’re raised with doctors telling you that there’s little chance of ever walking normally, lifting anything heavy, or being able to live any sort of life that an “able” person might live, it would seem easier to just accept the cards dealt - and internalize your own needs and desires. Add to this the greenhouse of self-scoring, and you have yourself a nice cocktail of constant doubt and questioning. Shame is a dangerous road. It starts with the little ways we tell ourselves that we don’t really care what someone else thinks - that it doesn’t matter to us. But at the end of the day, it somehow does. Because that’s how shame works. No matter what, you’ll never be enough. And as I’m looking in the mirror trying to straighten my back and stand upright, I wonder if the 6-foot-tall athletic guy effortlessly picking up his perfect girlfriend while they’re on the beach ever doubts himself, too. I wonder if he, with fully working legs and a strong back, ever thinks that his girlfriend might want to be with someone else.

 Cerebral palsy makes itself known in little ways. Going to the gym used to feel like convincing myself that if I just lift one more rep, then CP will magically just melt off of me - and I’ll walk of the the free weight room with some existential realization that this has just been in my head for 23 years. It’s tripping up the stairs when I’m not focusing on where I’m placing my feet. It’s watching as other people dance at a party, and I’m wondering what people are thinking as I’m sitting on a couch. It’s trying to figure out the best time to tell a girl from Bumble that the thing she’s staring at is actually not contagious - that she won’t “catch” a limp if she touches me. I’m in the middle of the last rep promising myself that this is some brand of “self-care” - and that the next time I’m staring at my naked body in my bathroom mirror, I’ll be happier.

 This is what shame does. Shame convinces us that it is on us to become good enough. Body shame lies to us and says that, because of our body, we will not be loved until we change ____. I’m not writing this to tell you that I have a magical answer on how to become completely impervious to shame. I do believe, though, that I have a couple things to share along the lines of what Brene calls “shame resiliency” - the ability to combat shame as it rears its ugly head in our lives. If you’d like to call these “Steps to Not Hating Yourself” - go ahead.

 Be honest about where you’re at. Admitting brokenness was the first step in all of this. It was the first step to truly believing that I could write my story with a purpose - rather than a quasi-seductive, OdysseyOnline pity party written from the eyes of an upper middle-class white guy. I had to learn to admit that, yes, my body is in some ways very different from other men and women around me. Admitting to myself that I have limitations - things that I literally cannot do - cleared my vision so that I could see where I wanted to go. I think the saying is true (albeit paraphrased): “Limitations set you free.”

 Learn to actually enjoy the process in everything. In college I began to realize that sometimes, doctors are wrong. They tell you that you’ll never do a list of things that “able bodied” people can do - and you believe it because they went to school for seven years. I had mentioned before that my exposure to Pilates opened a door to strength and healing. It also showed me that a non-progressive disorder can be battled by tailoring exercises and a nutrition plan. Going to the gym regularly is like learning a new language. First it’s awkward and nonsensical, and your accent is terrible. But then, as you begin to widen your vocabulary and learn syntax, things start to make sense. Nothing good was made overnight, and that applies to you, too.

 Stop trying to hide your wants and needs. By admitting needs and desires, we can start to empower ourselves to become resilient to the monster of shame - resilient to the Instagram culture that tells us our bodies are supposed to look and behave a certain way. We are programmed to believe that admitting we need something is somehow a version of weakness - that revealing a need or want is automatically the result of lack of “grit”.  I struggle, like anyone else, in being honest with myself. But reminding myself that it’s human and okay to have desires helped me to see where I have lied to myself. And it was there, in both admitting brokenness and facing my needs directly, that I saw the lie of shame: you will never move from this very point. Ever.

 Shame is an ugly lie that masks itself in platitudes like “Well, if you were just better looking, or stronger, or smarter - you’d be able to ____.” The next time you are staring at yourself in the mirror - standing there naked wondering if you’re worthy, try reminding yourself that you won’t move an entire mountain in a single day - that your worthiness isn’t tied to a culture of self-scoring. Cerebral palsy, and all that it entails, is a confusing and frustrating maze - but it’s still teaching me a few things about strength. I still get angry. I still cry. I still have dreams, wants, needs, and desires just like anyone else in the gym or coffee shop. But these are a few things I’m starting to learn.

#Cerebral Palsy #CP #One Foot Forward #Nashville #tennessee #Chase Akers #Empowerment #Brene Brown #Daring Greatly #Self-Help

[swipestream]

Teaching Tabletop Role Playing Games

In 2011 I offered to DM a 4-hour session of DnD as part of a silent auction for NAMI. My friend Toni bid on it, totally not out of pity. On the successful note of raising a whopping $20, Toni told me she wanted to play with her wife and two friends except… none of them had ever played DnD or any other TTRPGs before. Without thinking it through, I said yes. Then when I started to plan the session, I stared at a blank page for what seemed like hours realizing I had no idea how to teach someone else how to role play.

It’s easy to overwhelm someone new in any hobby especially if it’s something you love and understand. Often we unintentionally miscommunicate for a very simple reason–the newbies don’t speak our language yet. Did you glaze past the terms “DM,” “DnD,” and “TTRPG” in the paragraph above? That’s probably because you know those abbreviations mean Dungeon Master, the one who plans and leads a tabletop role playing game specifically Dungeons and Dragons; Dungeons and Dragons, the flagship game of the role playing industry; and tabletop role playing game, the more generic term for the entire hobby. On the other hand, did you know what NAMI is? From context you know it’s a charity, but unless I spell out the full name as the National Alliance on Mental Illness you may not know what they focus on.

Before You Teach…

If you’re fluent in RPGs, there’s a step I recommend before planning a session for newbies. Play a game you’ve never played before. Preferably something radically different from what you normally play. If you’ve played from levels 1-20 in the same DnD 3.5 edition campaign for the past five years, try picking up something story-forward like Protocol or Fiasco. If you normally play the serious Dark Heresy, try the hilarious Crash Pandas. If you have local conventions, you can look for someone new there. If you don’t, ask your normal group to take a session off and try something different. Or, ask online or find a community like the Gauntlet where you can sign up for online games. If you have no idea what game to play, I recommend John Harper’s Lasers & Feelings or one of its hacks like Love & Justice by my copodner (co-host podcast partner) Senda Linaugh. Handily, you can listen to an adventure of Love & Justice on my podcast She’s A Super Geek BUT don’t just listen–you need to actually play something new. 

 Play a game you’ve never played before. Preferably something radically different from what you normally play.

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I get to play new games all the time because of She’s A Super Geek which does one-shots of different games focusing on women as GMs (that’s Game Master, similar to the term DM but considered more generic). When we started SASGeek almost 4 years ago, Senda and I were learning and running all the games. We’ve gotten to a place where a lot of creators, writers, or someone who has run the game a lot come onto the show to run those games for us. It’s amazing, and it means I’m constantly learning new games from the point of view of a player. It can be hard to break out of our fluent understanding of RPGs, so forcing yourself back into that newbie space can break you out of your fluency and give you some insight into what newbies at your own table might be experiencing.

But I didn’t have that experience back in 2011 when I sat down with Toni, her wife, and her two friends. I’m actually not sure of how good of a job I did teaching DnD to them. I remember that we told a good story, and they all had fun. The bard embarrassed herself in front of her crush. The rogue got to back stab their rival (emotionally and literally). The cleric  In the end, that’s what we want newbies to experience. We want them to understand why we spend time in this hobby, what draws us deeper into it, and why it’s worth continuing to learn. We don’t want to bog them down in rules, hard math, or (Cthulhu forbid) table lawyering. We want them to walk away with a hilarious story they want to tell others. So here are a few tips for you as the GM to ensure that happens.

GM Tips

Make the characters–there’s nothing worse than wanting to learn a role play game only to get bogged down in details you don’t understand with the promise of ‘it gets more fun later.’ Create character sheets before hand with gentle role play prompts. If your newbie runs with another idea, that’s ok; but try to give them somewhere to go since they haven’t had experience building a character’s personality. Feel free to use pre-made characters from your system if they’re available.

Plan a straightforward adventure–we all love red herrings, but we’re focusing on teaching the game. Make sure there’s an obvious thing they’re supposed to do. Don’t be afraid to use simple ideas like stealing a magical item from that castle, protecting a caravan as it travels to another city, or rescuing a kidnapped prince. Having a clear goal makes it easier to think of ideas about how to get there. Asking players to think of classic tropes from movies and tv shows can give them a reference point if they become a deer in headlights. A newbie may not know how their character would get into an exclusive club, but they may know what Buffy, Luke Skywalker, or Steven Universe would do.

Have an experienced player at the table–newbies will look to an experienced player to set the tone and show them what’s possible. Just don’t let the experienced player take over the spotlight. Have a talk with them before the game and make sure they’re ok playing with newbies and either holding back or pushing forward depending on how the newbies react.

Don’t overwhelm them with rules–don’t try to explain all the rules in the game up front. Assure the newbies you will teach them the rules as they come up in game. Let them choose their character’s name and go over the basics of reading the character sheet.

Don’t overwhelm them with jargon–don’t use acronyms if you can help it. Try to explain things when the newbies are confused. Ask them if they’re confused. Encourage them to call out when you’re using a term they don’t understand.

Create an inviting first scene–Give the players a reason to interact with each other. Are they all stuck in the same jail? Do they all know a retired adventurer who’s called them together for an unknown reason? This doesn’t have to be a traditional go-around-the-table-and-introduce-your-character-scene, but there’s nothing wrong with that!

Create a skill challenge or small combat as the second scene–It doesn’t have to be an all-out battle. It could be a patron asking the characters to prove that they can handle a task or a simple go kill that low-level monster over there. They’ve stretched role play legs in the first scene. Now they get to work those mechanics a little. If it gets overwhelming, cut it short and move on. You just want to give the new players a chance to get a feel for the mechanics so that they know what’s possible within the game. 

Make sure every character gets the spotlight–since you’ve made the characters, you know what they’re good at. Make sure everyone gets some spotlight time to do what they’re good at. If you’ve got a hacker, make sure there are computer locked doors in the way. If you’ve got a wizard, make sure there’s a book that only they can read. If possible you want the light to shine on each character for something both mechanical and role play-focused. 

Laissez les bons temps rouler*–It’s ok if your straightforward plot goes off the rails. If they’re not having fun, do something different. A bad guy kicks in the door. A distress cry is heard from the next street over. Someone’s sword leaps out of their hands and starts singing. Just keep the game moving and make sure people are having fun!

Giving someone a window into our hobby can be amazing. Don’t be afraid to ask new people to play. You can teach them. After all, we were all newbies at some point. Someone else helped us learn how to play, probably multiple someones else. Being that person for someone else allows us to pay our experience forward, and hopefully they will do the same when the time comes. 

What games have you found the easiest or most difficult to teach? What did someone teach you badly or goodly when you started gaming?

  *Let the good times roll

Teaching Tabletop Role Playing Games published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames