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surpriserose · 5 months

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there was a post going around a little while ago that had a link to like 100 classic books by authors of color and i picked out a few that were interesting to me to read so im doing that inbetween manga and hate reading coho so thumbs up emoji

the one i was able to get the easiest was kobo abe's the woman of the dunes and its about a dude who gets told to go into the sand pit with this lady against his will and tries to escape and well..... this is a 60s book which means yeah its good! its really thoughtful and the prose is really good (obviously translation isn't and shouldnt be one to one but it's still what abe wrote like janljkdnvd) but its also really misognyist! with the occasional gross racist or ableist comment too like christ......

like every time i was like okay im here with you im in the sand im feeling the sand im scared of the sand and im with you we're getting into philosophy im engaging with your metaphors theyre really good and complex loving the themes of stability and instability and work and purpose and then the main dude would sexually assault the titular woman and its like okay!!!!!!!! i get where we stand here buddy!!!!! oh now we're going off about sex and philosophy okay i can list 1000 other people i would rather listen to on this subject before you but i cant stop you!!!

#rape mention #like its a good book i really liked it when it wasnt misogynist!!! like youre adding nothing and youre actively weakening your themes and #shit like this woman is also trapped here!!!!! can we have a discussion about what it means for her to be trapped here with you!!!!#shes literally trapped in domesticity too!!!! and this dude is like oh well i mean ill send her a check for cooking for me and bathing me #on top of all the other work shes expected to do hauling sand WITH YOU can we talk about that that's way more interesting!!!!#of course she's more resigned then you she's literally acting like your fucking wifeeeee and you just keep drugging and raping her about it #the misogyny was bad in the beginning but some passages made me think okay....we're gonna eventually engage with this woman's situation in #an interesting way but uh no not really and it just ramped up towards the end which is why this sounds angrier then i thought it would

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rimouskis · 7 months

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also I'm just too old to go to festivals anymore. I witnessed lolla once (1 time) [a single time] and I was like: actually I'm good thanks

#I've had really good festival experiences but lolla as like. a 22 year old was eye opening HA #you don't think you're old but also the second you're surrounded by high schoolers you're like: oh jesus I don't belong here. help #also idk the experience genuinely was tainted by being near the barricade and just watching the security&safety staff scan the crowd #and use their flashlights to find people who had collapsed from dehydration/exhaustion/drug use/drunkenness #and then they'd just haul them over the barricade. and as the day wore on; night fell; the headliner went on&it was just a DELUGE of bodies #it was insane. just person after person getting hauled over the barricade to be taken to the medical tent #and all I could think about was how that person had probably been here all day to see this band and then didn't even make it #either because they didn't have enough water or took the wrong amount of whatever substance #and I was like. damn! that is really just too bad!#also standing in the sun all day: no #festival goers are built stronger than I

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weltinator · 10 months

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playing fallout new vegas for the first time and starting to get the idea that heavily armed legion death squads coming after you every couple in-game days isn’t a normal part of gameplay. was i not supposed to kill vulpes inculta the second he turned his back on me?

#fallout new vegas #fnv #my posts #the first time it happened was so funny. i had quicksaved right before being mobbed by giant radscorpions #and the legion assassins show up like a minute later #so i got stuck in a timeloop of repeating this brutal fight with different permutations of weapons tactics and combat drug use #unfortunately pitting the radscorpions and legion against each other didn't turn out to be a viable option #winning permutation ended up being all my explosives into the radscorpions #then a brutal gunfight with the legion using all my stimpaks then rippering the one surviving melee assassin #very satisfying conclusion honestly #oh and then finishing off the crippled radscorpions that survived the explosives #but yeah these fucking guys keep coming back every other time i fast travel #their gear's worth good money but it weighs so much!#half of my gameplay is killing these guys and then hauling their stuff to a merchant

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ionlycareabouthhn · 11 months

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Tone Vendor Records in St. Augustine treated us so well yesterday. Here's our latest record haul. Buying a record player has been one of the best decisions I've made in the last year.

#youre not allowed to bully me for liking dad rock #i will not be embarrassed #i have diverse tastes #records #record haul #record store #vinyl #the war on drugs #steely dan #dire straits

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jorth · 1 year

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got a canker sore & then binged takis two days un a row & now its so bad im googling oral cancer now as if i didnt cause this myself

#i did a drug store haul for it #wish me luck

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talesgolden · 10 months

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On the Way to Rock Bottom

There was a bit of a trick when it came to getting into the building’s laundry room, and Maddy had more or less perfected her preferred method. With her laundry basket pinned between her hip and the face of the door, her hands were free so that she could fit her key into the lock and, once it was open, push one hand against the corner that tended to stick while she turned the knob with her other hand. The really tricky part was catching her basket when the door unstuck and swung open. She managed! with the quick reflexes of the prepared and only a mild swear.

And then she, immediately after clearing the door as it shut itself behind her, yelped and stumbled into a drier.

“Oh fuck- Andrew,” she addressed the figure slouched like a cadaver in the far corner, “you scared me.”

He sniffled. Stirred. After a long second of silence, he flopped his gaze up to look at her. His face remained blank for another stretch. He blinked, and then light entered his eyes.

“Ari…zona.” His mouth twitched into a fond smirk. “Y’ fixed the door.”

Maddy’s heart clenched. She set her basket on top of a washing machine and made her way to the corner he was slouched in. She crouched down by his feet.

“Fixed it?”

Andrew hummed, affirmative.

“Closed behind me, got stuck.”

Maddy bit down the thought to remind him that it was locked as a default state of being. Locked and so old school that you needed a key to open it from either side. It seemed safe to assume he either didn’t have his key or had forgotten he needed it to get out. (How, she wondered on a secondary train of thought that extinguished as soon as it flared, had he gotten in?) Regardless…

“How long have you been down here?”

Andrew blinked again. His fond greeting faded into a look that Maddy couldn’t place. He shrugged.

“Okay, um. Hold on a second.”

Maddy reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her phone. She had just pressed send on a text to Viv when Andrew sat up. Both of his hands, abnormally warm, closed around her forearm. Maddy found herself face to face with an Andrew far removed from the one who had first greeted her. His brow was crumpled and beaded with sweat. His breathing pitched into an odd rhythm, making his leaned-forward position seem like he was doubled over in pain. For a long time he just held on to her like that, looking at her then over her shoulder like there was someone there (there was not: she checked twice even though she knew there was not) then shaking himself and looking at her again. Wanting for speech, each shift of his attention was slow and exaggerated, like a film that had been slowed down. Maddy took the opportunity to respond to Viv a few more times.

“It makes sense,” he told her through his teeth, startling Maddy, “it makes sense because it doesn’t make sense… he won’t see me. You don’t even do anything. The door closes and nobody believes you, you say it so many times and nobody ever does. Yeah, it makes sense.”

Maddy shook her head, breathing through the sick feeling that had slushed into every corner of her skin. Her thoughts made a leap, but she wanted it to be wrong.

“What,” she asked, “what makes sense?”

Andrew’s mouth snapped shut, his teeth clicking together, and kept pressing so that the corners of his jaw flared out. Without either of them looking down, Andrew turned Maddy’s arm so that her wrist faced upward. The sick feeling pooled, sour, behind her teeth.

“I’ll tell you a secret” Andrew whispered, conspiratorial, and he was someone new again, crumpled brow replaced with wide-eyed mania. It was only by his gesture, a shake of her arm and the brush of his fingertips across the scar buried under her sleeve, that Maddy knew he hadn’t changed subjects. “I’m a coward.” She inhaled sharply. He laughed, humorless. “And stupid. It’ll never make sense. He’ll never see me … no reason. The sky goes up and I’m just…a coward.”

Maddy released the breath she’d held in and instead took hold of Andrew’s arm. Her reply held only the greatest affection as she told him to:

“Shut the fuck up.”

Andrew, whose gaze had wandered, returned his eyes to Maddy’s face. He laughed again. He laughed and laughed and uncrumpled, falling backward like a triggered mouse trap. Whap! the back of his head connected with the concrete wall. He didn’t seem to notice. No amount of ‘hey’s and ‘Andrew’s would convince him to sit up again. His humor, his desperation, his shining eyes: all were gone. He was staring, eyes half lidded and glazed, at the long fluorescent bulbs that lit the laundry room. Maddy felt spiritually connected to Viv’s last text.

Well, fuck.

With the effort of the stubbornly determined, Maddy hauled Andrew into a seated position and then, with some awkward shuffling, tucked herself behind his back, keeping him propped that way. She didn’t know… well, as much as she suspected a few other people in the building would, but she did know that laying on your back was a bad thing, even if she couldn’t remember why. Andrew leaned his head back, draping it on Maddy’s shoulder. Maddy suppressed the urge to try and coax more words out of him, afraid of what path it might lead him down, and simply wrapped her arm around as much of his shoulders as she could manage.

That’s how they were sitting when Viv pushed the laundry room door open. Maddy’s relief mingled with gut deep discomfort. Viv was clearly and understandably upset, so Maddy did her best to explain what she knew about Andrew’s condition. With Viv’s help, Maddy managed, finally, to get him into a properly upright position. And then, as soon as it seemed reasonable, Maddy excused herself and stepped out.

She made it to the small hallway between the stairs and the elevator and managed, even, not to throw up. She took a deep, shuddering breath. Then another.

Coward. What a word to use, coward. She knew the thought- too scared to do it, too afraid to try. What if it worked. What if it didn’t— Maddy shook out her hands and fought for another shuddering breath.

Five things. There had to be five things to see, what were they? She scanned the hall: bare concrete, one. Silver elevator doors, two. Water stain on the ceiling, three. Viv’s key still in the door, four. The scratched and dented polish on the handrail of the stairs. There, five.

Now touch four things. The ground under her feet, permanent, the wall against her back, sturdy. Two. She combed her fingers through the loose waves of her hair, three. Three… she crossed her arms. Her jacket sleeves, four.

Okay. Good.

Three sounds. Viv’s voice in the laundry room, muffled. The quiet whir of the elevator going- she glanced at the panel- up. Shoes on the stairs, down. Easy.

Two- it always smelled like laundry down here, detergent and softener and drier sheets. What else? She couldn’t find anything, but she had her One: her chapstick tasted of oranges. She had been chewing on her lip. That was fine. She didn’t feel like she was going to throw up anymore.

Someone touched Maddy’s arm, summoning her out of the middle distance. (When her eyes recentered, she was looking at the panel next to the elevator still, though couldn’t have said what she had actually been focused on.) She found Cameron’s worried face waiting for her.

“Hey, you okay?”

Cameron. Of course, he was there to help Viv help Drew. Maddy presented a feeble smile and nodded.

“I’m fine. You should go help Viv, I don’t think he’s being very cooperative in there.”

Cameron swayed in place. He wanted to be in more than one place at a time. He eyed Maddy’s crossed arms.

“Whatever he said,” Cameron started, apologetic, “he didn’t mean it.”

Maddy pressed her lips flat and turned her head.

“Yes he did.”

Cameron gave the next humorless laugh of the night, a short exhale. He touched, fleeting, the side of Maddy’s face.

“Yeah. He did. I’m sorry.”

Maddy shook her head.

“It’s really fine. Just..” she bit her lip and felt her brow furrow, though she had been trying not to let it. “Just keep an eye on him, okay?”

Cameron nodded, solemn, and went into the room.

Maddy waited outside. She watched as Cameron and Viv guided Andrew down the narrow hall and loaded him into the elevator. And then there was just her. Or, if certain people were to be believed, just her and the ghost that inhabited the laundry room. If not, then it really was just her and a plastic basket of worn clothes. She loaded the machine and wondered what she might have told Andrew if she wasn’t the coward he thought he was.

#⍟║writing / madelyn.#✯║writing / andrew.#drug use tw #suicide mention tw #self harm tw #mass of interwoven ocs go brrr #this is. oldish by a couple years but i like it and so i have hauled it out of the abyss and posted it and that's just how that one goes

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the-busy-ghost · 2 years

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Worst thing about being more of a history person is that when I finally do get the drive to sit down and Write, nine times out of ten I can’t follow up on that drive because you can’t just sit down and write history and I don’t just have a pile of research sitting around waiting to be written up

#And it takes me ages to research stuff #Even when I was at my most productive in early 2020 I still wasn't getting regular writing practise #And I do tend to retain information better by using output methods (writing or explaining to other people etc)#So I'm not even retaining a lot of the information I gained through research until I get to the writing point #Which means that if I don't get the research finished quickly for whatver reason (one source being unavailable for a while for example)#A lot of it just falls out of my brain again #So no benefit either way- no written essay accomplished but also no new info gained for my brain to store #It is also not a very portable form of writing #I'm in between houses at the moment and hauling around twenty books for whatever project I'm currently working on #plus a laptop with access to all my primary sources #Is not really a recipe for regular and effective working #Maybe it would be easier if I was one of those people who read one dubious source then make a tik tok or youtube video about it #But that is not great practise #I did used to write stuff from memory a lot when I was younger but I wouldn't do that now #While working from memory is fine for conversational education (i.e. as a guide at a historic property or being interviewed)#Written media lasts a lot longer so I have a vested interest in fact-checking before I write it down #And then it's like a drug #One source leads to another and you're never entirely satisfied with the end result but you used as much information as you could find #To be fair I still get it wrong a lot of the time even when I DO do lots of research but at least I know I've tried my best #Maybe I should go back to short posts occasionally with basic memorised info #But I'm not sure how helpful that would be to people since they can get that on wikipedia #And it wouldn't be great writing practise either #Plus it doesn't really encourage people to research further on their own if you can't provide a good source they can go to next #If I wrote about the interesting stuff from memory I would want to provide sources to back it up and make sure I described it correctly #And like the only stuff I would be willing to put out there without sources is the boring stuff people already know #Ach well #First world problems #Writing

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vampirian · 1 month

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bought a fresh loaf of my favourite bread life can be so good

#hauled my ass to the grocery store drug store and bakery #rewarded myself with the bread #i deserve it

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froody · 4 months

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The Italian restaurant in my mom’s hometown WAS definitely a mob front. The owner briefly served in the Italian military, immigrated to America in his twenties back in the early 70s, mysteriously had enough money to open a chain of Italian restaurants and was convicted for trafficking cocaine across the Virginia/West Virginia area and spent 15 years in prison.

My mom had worked as a waitress at the place while she was a teenager and throughout her 20s and she realized that when she was sent to the restaurant’s sister location in West Virginia in a mysteriously packed car by her mysteriously nice boss, it probably wasn’t pizza ingredients she was hauling. It was the 80s. She was a tiny, very naive, conventionally attractive church girl with no criminal record so she was the perfect unwitting drug mule.

The thing was, this restaurant and the man who operated it were locally loved. Beyond large scale organized cocaine trafficking, food was his other passion. Everyone waited anxiously for him to get out of prison and when he did this guy started a crusade against the corrupt local sheriff’s office. He started doing anti-police brutality advocacy work WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Donating to local families who had been victims and participating in local drives and awareness campaigns.

Made men usually do local charity work but the balls on this guy to take up sword and spear against shitty corrupt ineffectual law enforcement. Incredible. One thing about Appalachians is that we hate the cops and we love social agitators. This guy lived a long eventful life and died recently of natural causes and the overwhelming outpouring of love for him on Facebook was incredible, a uniting force that the town had not seen in decades, everybody was sharing their favorite stories about him and I’m sure local law enforcement was fuming.

#the history of the mafia in Appalachia is really interesting #how Italian organized crime thrived from the 60s to the 90s in Appalachia and still exists there today #swooped right in after the coal boom

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alpha-mag-media · 5 months

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Major drugs haul as Gardai seize nearly €1m worth of cannabis after two searches in joint operation as two arrests made | In Trend Today

Major drugs haul as Gardai seize nearly €1m worth of cannabis after two searches in joint operation as two arrests made Read Full Text or Full Article on MAG NEWS

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#Celebrities #Major drugs haul as Gardai seize nearly €1m worth of cannabis after two searches in joint operation as two arrests made #Money #Motors #Politics #ShowBiz #Sport #Tech #Trends #UK #US #World

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ur-mag · 6 months

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Gardai smash major drug smuggling op by mob run by Mr Big as huge €3.9m cannabis haul seized | In Trend Today

Gardai smash major drug smuggling op by mob run by Mr Big as huge €3.9m cannabis haul seized Read Full Text or Full Article on MAG NEWS

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#Celebrities #Gardai smash major drug smuggling op by mob run by Mr Big as huge €3.9m cannabis haul seized #Money #Motors #Politics #ShowBiz #Sport #Tech #UK #US #World

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delcat177 · 8 months

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Mugs of Goodwill

I was getting pajamas at Goodwill and as happens, I ended up wandering down the tat aisles. I don't buy a lot of physical possessions these days, but I love cycling mugs, so let's see what they have! Oh boy!

1) Blue Heron

Honestly, I didn't realize until I got home that this heron mug, despite being marked dishwasher/microwave safe (and vegan??), has an odd...crumple to the design, which is flaking off. They go for a buck, so if it starts going downhill, I'll take it outside and use it as a seed starter. Reduce reuse recycle!

2) Frolicking Reindeer

This is obviously going away for a bit, but I'm looking forward to pulling it out of storage after Thanksgiving. Hot drinks from seasonal mugs is one of my favorite things!

3) Trick Shadow Mug

Do you ever buy something and regret it? More specifically, do you ever buy something, accidentally destroy it, and regret it? This is a copy of a mug I bought on sale and was surprised by--the shadow puppets turn into hands when you add hot water, which absolutely delighted me. Unfortunately, I got pretty lax about putting it in the dishwasher, and the OG is starting to fade out. I regretted that...until today! Into storage for the grandkids with you!

4) Discount Hamilton

Shit dude, it's the man with the singing about the old dudes! I am a Broadway nerd, and I gave a pass on the mug at $20 ($30?) on tour, so 99 cents is quite a bargain! That's ninety-nine Lincolns! Lol! Please lol I counted the pennies out individually and the teller didn't laugh once even though I told the joke 99 times!

This mug. This mug holds the elevator door for senior citizens so it can open it between flights and shove them down the shaft. This mug rolls homeless veterans for bus money and walks home. This mug stands outside of pain clinics putting cigarettes out on dogs. This mug holds no good will. This mug is in Hell's gift shop. This mug told Tiny Tim to git gud. This mug unsaved Christmas.

6) Comic Strip Crush Wig

Comic Strip Crush Wig

#Drugs cw #Trigger tw #God damn there is just no good in there #Thrifting #coffee mugs #Mugs #Addiction cw #I didn't want it out there so i bought it #I'm gonna be Big Pharma for Halloween I guess #I have been accused of drug seeking behavior for asking to get my scrips filled #Like #My dude #I live three blocks from a dispensary why the fuck would i cheat on my psych meds #Medical #christ on a cracker #Good haul though

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