#drongo - idiot.

[i-am-become-a-name]

December 6.  Prompt: Proposition.

Tegan had started shaking beside him, jostling his elbow in a way most unlike the usual distance they kept from each other, and it was quite frustrating the interesting conversation the Doctor was attempting to have with one of the diplomats in the celebration they had stumbled into. It wasn’t cold, even for one of her impractical outfits, and for once, (he dreaded to think it for fear of the universe laughing at him) they didn’t seem to be in any active danger. The diplomat, rare for one of his breed, was fascinating, more interested in talking about what they had learned from the shared histories of the planets to move forward in earnest, rather than picking at and exaggerating the minor differences between their cultures. He turned his most foreboding look upon Tegan, who met his eyes and had to cover her mouth to conceal the grin that still peeked out from between her fingers. 

“What?” he hissed, annoyed already by the fact she had insisted on sticking around for the conversation, unlike Adric and Nyssa who had wandered off, in respective order, to the buffet table and to examine the art hanging about the hall. 

“Nothing wrong at all, Doc,” he made out from behind her fingers, and rare it was for her to not have a complaint of some kind, however trivial, but genuine amusement was creasing the corners of her eyes, and he did a brief pat down of his hair and coat, finding nothing amiss in his appearance. So where was this coming from? He frowned at her, and turned back to the diplomat who was watching them with an indulgent smile. 

“Now, what were you saying about the treaty of Lindor before my friend rudely interrupted you?” His emphasis on ‘my friend’ did not go unnoticed by Tegan, who struggled to stifle a snort behind her hands, but the diplomat was looking pleased. 

“Perhaps we could continue this conversation in my rooms, without the, ah, interruption.” He’d leant forward to put a hand on the Doctor’s arm, voice welcoming, but Tegan was positively quaking at his side now, and he opened his mouth to suggest perhaps she could find Nyssa to keep her company while he continued the conversation, but suddenly lost the ability to speak as a warm hand tucked itself into his, and a small frame leant itself against his free arm. He looked down in confusion at his companion, but her face was hidden by the frizz of curls tucked against his shoulder, so turned back as the diplomat took a step back, apologetically.

The diplomat looked disappointed, but suggested some titles where he could find further information on what they had been talking about in case he changed his mind and Tegan wobbled against his side. They parted with smiles, Tegan still tottering at his side as they walked away, and hidden by the crowd, pulled away from each other.

“Sorry for the ear-bashing he’s given you,” and the Doctor saw the diplomat mouth the words in puzzlement, but Tegan was bowling past any possible interruption, “but this galah has promised to muster the ankle-biters for tea.”

“Ah, quite,” the Doctor agreed, not understanding a single word beyond tea, but Tegan’s voice was assured, and the hand in his was clenching it quite speakingly, and he put his free hand over hers, patting it firmly, because he hoped to be able to use that hand in the future thank you. 

‘“May I ask what that was?” and Tegan was bent over, hands on her knees and positively cackling. He gently pulled her away from the crowd against the wall and let her calm down. 

“I, uhm, don’t think he was your type, Doc,” and- ah. She stood back up, still letting out the occasional snicker, but wiping the tears away from her gleeful eyes, her fingers coming away colourful with smudged makeup. “You’d still have missed it if he’d written it on a brick and thrown it through your window, wouldn’t you?”

“We were simply having an interesting conversation,” he protested, but that set her off again, pointing at him and giggling, and they were starting to draw attention. 

“Cripes, Doc, you can be a drongo.” And why were they all speaking a different language all of a sudden? She patted his arm, but her face was still twisted in mirth. “Haven’t had anyone be that obvious since a friend’s hen, right smooth-talker there.” 

She stepped away from him then, craning her head over the crowds to seek out Adric and Nyssa, and Australians. He would never understand them.

#this is thoroughly silly but it is 1:30 am and it was on my prompt list from last year so figure i should probably get around to it? #slowly catching up will hopefully be able to write two in the car tomorrow so I can be all caught up but fingers crossed since there'll be #3 y/o there too #fic #advent fic #five #tegan #slang wise - ear-bashing - chatting on and on and on. galah - fool. ankle biters - kids. tea - dinner #drongo - idiot. #ngl i am not australian i think nz slang differs a bit but really she should be calling him a good c- but that's a bit too rude for dw

[adreamthatsworthkeeping]

I've just learnt drongo is a type of bird as well as an insult.

#I guess it had to come from somewhere #can i say a drongo has a classic look on their face an idiot would have #drongo #birds

[junkratsjunkertown]

Omg I love your writing sm!!

*ahem*

If it's not too much trouble, could I get some Queen and junkrat (preferably poly but if you don't write poly, separate is fine) sfw dating headcanons with a super soft and sweet s/o?

Gn or male s/o pls :)

Anyway, take care of yourself and have a great day/night <3

Sure. I’d love to. Have a great day/night too. Sorry, this took so long. Junker Queen's real name is Odessa "Dez" Stone, Junkrat's real name is Jamison Fawkes, and Roadhog's real name is Mako Rutledge.

Attracted To Junkers

Junker Queen x Junkrat x Male Reader

All three of you call each other Drongo when one or two of you does something dumb or idiotic

You guys spend the night in either your room or Odessa's room since you all respect Mako's boundaries

Mako usually drops Jamison at one of your rooms when he needs a break from the loud Junker

Odessa likes to be the big spoon and Jamison likes to be the little spoon

You are quite alright being the one stuck in the middle when all of you wanna spoon while cuddling

Jamison will do a little firework show for every anniversary

Odessa is protective of you and Jamison

If anyone bullies or threatens you Jamison and Odessa will find them and torture them the Junker way

Meaning Odessa uses her knife and axe, while Jamison uses bombs and other explosives

Mako does love hanging out with all three of you

Especially since you are the quietest out in your relationship

You and Mako talk about random things especially Pachimari

You and Mako buy each other Pachimari-related things that remind you of your friend

You also buy Pachimari stuff for Dessa and Jamie

Movie night is a must

Whether it be a horror movie or a comedy

Just no Rom Com movies

You three have photos of the other two in your wallets

And photos of all three of you or of the other two and Mako hanging in each others rooms

#overwatch x reader #junkrat x reader #junker queen x reader #Junkrat x Junker queen x reader #Junkrat fluff #junker queen fluff #Junkrat x reader fluff #junker queen x reader fluff #Junkrat x male reader #junker queen x male reader

[chickensarentcheap]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

You are keeping the muse going, my friend!

“What does that mean? drongo?”

“Stupid.  An idiot.”

“A dumb ass?”

“Basically. That’s what we call them. In Australia. Drongos.”

“Does everyone in Australia talk like you do?”

“Maybe not exactly like it.  But we all have accents.  They sound a bit different; depending on what area you come from.”

“And are there tons of cool words there? That you say different than us?”

“Way too many to count.  Once you get settled, I’ll teach you all kinds of cool slang.”

“Will you teach me the swears too?”

****

@tragiclyhip @munstysmind @youflickedtooharddamnit @secretaryunpaid @mrsmungus @asirensrage @residentdormouse @ninjasawakenedmystar @thebejeweledwatercat @kmc1989 @karimac @theesirenteller @alisbackalleybbq

#Tyler and Esme series #Lost and Found

[mask-of-prime]

VG: Speed Run

It was early in the morning. A certain rhino paced as he thought up his speech. He took a deep breath as he contemplated returning to the Pridelands. He was onto the next part of his plan... "Hey." The rhino in question sighed in annoyance before turning to the voice. He saw that it had been Mrembo, the monotone, hairy lion. "Any idea when our next mission will be? Dying to get something to eat." "No missions today!" the rhino then grimaced, "And you know how uncomfortable it makes me when you talk about the types of things you eat! Now, please! I've got a very important speech to make to a few friends." "Oooh! Can we come?!" Jeuri suddenly piped. "NO! Absolutely not!" the rhino roared, "I-I mean... why don't you try Flat Ridge Rock, I thought I spotted some nice big lizards there..." "Lizards? Again?" Mrembo sighed in annoyance, "Better than nothing, I guess." Jeuri rushed to the cave he and his made a home in. "Hey, Kiume, no missions today!" "Good," the older lion glared from the shadows, "I don't want anybody to see me like this..."

____ Later that morning... The cacophony of several impatient, angered, and hyped calls made by various ungulates and birds rang across Mizimu Grove. There, they awaited the return of a certain pachyderm they placed all of their trust in, especially as of late. The crowed turned to the sound of stomping. It had been their glorious leader, Ngurumo, surrounded by an intimidating, austere crash of elite rhinos guarding him. The crowd cheered in delight. The cheering, however, gradually ceased as Ngurumo gracefully held up a hoof, preparing his rallying speech. "My fellow prey... It seems every day I hear more and more about the violent nature of our oppressive leaders after my undeserved banishment! I understand that some of you, my dear, faithful bretheren, have been caught in some of these fights these barbaric creatures keep starting amongst themselves?" "YEAH!" a few notable supporters shouted. "Ngurumo? Sir? How are you receiving this news?" asked an inquisitive Oryx doe. "I'm glad you asked." the rhino smiled. "While I stood in the outskirts of the Pridelands, where I had been mercilessly ejected to by the very perpetrators of these attacks, I was only able to hear of the goings-on of the Pridelands from my trusted, loyal tickbird, Uongo!" The bird in question smirked cunningly as he flew into the scene, as if on cue. "Now Uongo, what was it you heard these lions say about us poor herbivores?" The tickbird, who possessed a drongo-like ability to mimic voices to an uncanny level, formed shapes with his mouth to recreate voices of a few lions: "Kupatana?! -- nobody cares about that holiday!" the bird cherrypicked in Vitani's voice. "We could've had them now, then it'd be over with!" he said in Shabaha's voice, completely out of context. "Just beat 'em black and blue like the usual deal." he then said in Vitani's voice once more, and once again devoid of the true context. The ruminants gasped, as did Ngurumo. "Such violence!" he said, "The King orders bloodthirsty huntresses -- not even from here -- to form his new Guard. Not only was it such a foolish thing to get rid of his old Guard -- one that had a hippo, by the way --, but he allowed his own enemies to keep us in check, and now they want to eat us all! Siding with anything so long as they're predators, and specifically lions at that!" The crowd of herd animals yelled in disgust. "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't hire my own killers. What an idiot, that Simba is!" he cleared his throat, "But anywho, I hear a few brave animals, here, fought back at the Lion Guard, is that right?" Karani screamed loud for Ngurumo to hear, and the vicious hippo that hogged the watering hole -- who was currently concussed -- bellowed proudly. "Yes, heh." Ngurumo's chuckling face became a sympathetic frown, "I, too, am saddened by the senseless attacks made on some of you by these monsters for leaders. Especially around Kupatana! A day of supposed unity! These lions have morphed the very meaning of Kupatana. To them, it's their one day of the year where they gaslight us back into trusting them, in 'the spirit of the holiday'! Bah! I say we take inspiration from the bird and hippo, and fight back! I say we take back the true meaning of Kupatana -- what it meant to all of us since before these predators came about! The real origin of the holiday..." The animals listened intently. They supposed they didn't know the old meaning of the day due to being younger generations raised under the rule of carnivores. They trusted in Ngurumo, who seemed to have knowledge of the past. "In the Spirit of Kupatana, I shall hereby declare all the herds as one! Together, with my lead, we shall overthrow this so-called 'King of the Jungle.' For your loyalty, I promise tickbirds for everyone!" The united herd screamed joyously as the tickbirds made their way to them. A few members of the crowd -- especially Kutoba, the scrappy, short-tempered Oryx -- enthusiastically rooted for the war that would rage on the coming holiday. As the tickbirds became aqcuainted with their new partners, Ngurumo chuckled to himself, speaking in a low voice that most couldn't hear: "Such easy animals to please. Anything works on them -- OW!! Not so hard, Uongo..." The yellow-billed oxpecker glared slightly as he continued burrowing his beak into the rhino's hide. ____ Afternoon... "Oh, man... it's too quiet!" Shabaha lamented, "Where's the excitement? I'm LOSING it!" "Why are you wishing for something bad to happen?" Tazama squinted. Vitani ignored her Guard as she looked and listened still. Today's patrol, so far, had been rather uneventful. No herbivores screeching derogatory remarks, no rogues hunting and marking things that didn't belong to them, all was quiet for now. Peaceful as it was, for once, the Guard was still on-edge anyhow. Though it was only natural for the former members of Zira's pride to never trust a day going too well, silence was strange at a time like this. Vitani had identified this phantom sensation as something called an 'anxiety attack', courtesy of Kiara's education on healthy ways to deal with trauma. She, and all the members of the Lion Guard suffered these, especially after this recent series of intense, violent events. She'd pondered if maybe her anxiety was unwarranted today. Still feeling like she couldn't be too sure, she proposed an idea: "Kasi, why don't you make your usual rounds and scan the area? I'm still too achey to go too far." "You wanna bet I can cover more land within the same time as last time?" "I guess we have a little time for fun." Vitani smirked, "You got until sunset." "I'll be back before the sun touches the top of Mekundu Cliffs!" Kasi was off, "Time me!" The Guard smiled warmly and confidently as they watched the Fastest dash. After moments of silence and staring, Shabaha plopped down in the grass. "Soo... now what?" ____ Though Kasi was on a timed mission, she quickly took in her surroundings as she brushed by them. She had many parts of the Pridelands memorized, showing the remarkable amount of work and traveling the Lion Guard has done for about a year, now. Feeling adventurous, and ambitious, she let her paws take her to parts unknown. Before she knew it, she'd been far on a border if the Pridelands she hadn't seen before. Feeling the grass vanish and be replaced by dry, cracked land was a sign she'd essentially left the kingdom. She was exhilarated as she felt downhill gravity make her sprinting go even faster. A huge cloud of dust gathered beneath her paws, making her feel powerful. Bordering this dry wasteland was a forest that Kasi didn't know what territory it belonged to, be it the last bit of the Pridelands, or the beginning of the Backlands. Something caught her attention, she almost could've sworn a pair of eyes and a pointed face poked from the bushes of the forest. She came to a screeching halt. "Good, I was beginning to think you were never gonna slow down." "Kelele..." "In the flesh." grinned the wolf, "Pleasure seeing you again --" Kasi turned the other way. Growling, Kelele quickly stopped her. "Don't run." the wolf relaxed her pose, "I'm not your enemy..." Kasi backed away slowly. She saw that Kelele's tail had been singed slightly from Vitani's first ever use of the Fire Roar. "You have to believe me..." Kelele urged. "I dunno, I mean you literally kidnapped a puppy because you thought he had powers..." "And it's because of that, I cannot return to the Pridelands. I've got something I've been wanting to tell the Roar-wielder for a long time." "Alright. You can tell me, and I'll see if I want to deliver it to her." "Fair enough..." the wolf grinned again as she bowed her head, "While I have come to challenge the Roar, I don't plan to exterminate it. That's not what this is about. I wish to learn more about it, and bring that information back North, where I come from. There aren't very many of us left. I want to make my small pack proud by making history that will live on in paintings and legend." Kasi listened intently. She still had her doubts, given the fact that Kelele's story sounded a tad self-centered, and it didn't at all explain why she threatened Sauti's life over it. But, then... what would the real story be if she turned out to be lying about it all? The slender lioness continued to hear Kelele out, allowing her mind to open more. If it was all a lie, she could just warn Vitani. If it wasn't, maybe it was life-saving information for all parties. ____ Over a course of hours, Kasi settled beside Kelele. Their initial rocky start blossomed into similar things they bonded over, such as a shared competitiveness and snarky, dry humor. Though, speaking of competitiveness... The Fastest's eyes suddenly caught the change in color of the sky, she glanced back to see an orange sun about to set. It looked like it was much further below the top of Mekundu Cliffs, she feared. Maybe there was still just a bit of time left. "Oh, no... I really gotta go..." "That's too bad." Kelele perked up, "Hey!" "Yeah?" "If you don't tell Vitani the things I wanted to share with her, I understand." Kasi nodded. She was unsure if Kelele's self-awareness was out of modesty, or possibly manipulation. "Fastest way back is through the woods. Less steep this way. Safe travels." The slender lioness took the wolf's word for it, eventually finding her word to be true. She wondered, if Kelele was being genuine about the way back, were her intentions genuine, too? ____ Kasi watched as the sky fell into twilight. She cringed. She knew it was long past the time she'd promised everyone. Her sprint turned into a gradually-slowing scamper as she panted heavily. She saw the Guard all bonding. Shabaha was telling outrageous hypotheticals, resulting in some of the liveliest banter they've had in years. The leader of the Guard stood up as she saw Kasi on her way. "You're way late, Kasi!" Vitani balked, "Very uncharacteristic of you. What kept you, you make new friends along the way?" Kasi's panting slowed. A piercing question that happened to be. "Maybe..." She was still unsure of her judgment in Kelele. But she could save it for now, either way... ____ ((Author's Note: This is one of those episodes where I just started drawing and THEN worked a story around it. Kasi's a hard character to really figure out so I blanked out pretty bad on her story for a good while. After all these years of trying to figure her out, I finally reached a rather meta final idea: She's supposed to be an enigma. She's blunt and comes off mysterious, but is passionate and experimental, trying all sort of crafts and adventures. Her adventurous, risk-taking side is explored here as she daringly explores niche parts of the Pridelands. I also really projected my struggle of constantly not being on time, especially times I promise/estimate to people. Fun Fact: I actually worked Kelele into this story because I'd originally planned an episode where she would find Vitani alone and try to learn more about her, but then I started getting that idea to explore the other Guard members, so I revived most of the concept and made Kasi the one who ends up stuck with Kelele. Another Fun Fact: Ngurumo's campaign scene (which would totally be a musical number) was originally set to take place in the original concept of Moral Eyes, which was originally gonna fully revolve around Kupatana since Tazama and Jeuri's bond symbolized unity and peace. Kupatana will be even more significant later Yet another Fun Fact: It's believed that tickbirds and herd animals actually do not have a mutual relationship in which the birds feed on parasites off the backs of the mammals, but rather that the tickbird is a parasite, itself, as it feeds on more than just ticks; it apparently deliberately cuts the skin of the mammals they're eating off of in order to suck their blood. We'll see how well that relationship between Ngurumo and Uongo/the herbivores and other tickbirds goes lol Lastly, to make things relevant to Pride Month despite it not being too obvious in the story, my headcanon for Kasi is that she's Panromantic/Asexual. She may or may not find a love, but that doesn't take away her attraction to others. People with romantic attraction but no actual romance going on: Y'all valid [insert "Well, of course I know him, he's me" meme here]))

#The Lion King #The Lion Guard #Vitani's Guard #Kasi #Vitani #Shabaha #Imara #Tazama #My Art

[wellthebardsdead]

I think the junkerqueen would ultimately side with Overwatch if push came to shove. Ultimately because of talons involvement with null sector. I can definitely see doomfist trying to recruit her for her strength and resilience especially after taking power from the very person who’d caused her 13 years of hardship, but she’d most likely take one look at his idea of a perfect world and laugh in his face, would most likely call him a lot worse than just a drongo (that’s an extremely old Australian word for idiot and it’s pretty much fallen out of use so I fully cackled when she said it in the cinematic).

In junkertown the strong survive and the weak can too, anybody can so long as they don’t cause trouble (looking at you jamie) the queen is honestly a lot more merciful than I was expecting and I can see her not wanting to turn the whole world into a wasteland or fighting pit. She suffered through that for 13 years and I doubt she’d wish that on anybody except the dickhead who fucked over her family.

She’d most likely begrudgingly work along side overwatch’s Omnics but I can see her being charmed over to seeing theyre the good guys too. If zenyatta can’t do it then im certain bastions love of gardening would wow her showing her life she can’t find in the wastes or orisa just being orisa lol. She’s definitely more interested in keeping junkertown safe and keeping the fighting to the underground ring than joining either side but if she had to pick, im certain she’d pick wrecking ball asking for help over doomfist any day ~Bambi

#overwatch #overwatch shitposts #junkerqueen

[blubushie]

Can we get a direct translation of that last ask?

Yeah, no worries mate!

"Look, mate, if you're keen me and this drongo are heading down to the bottle-o this arvo to grab a slab of piss. I just chucked a sickie so we'll do that and chuck it in the esky, defo neck a few snags, shelve a few pingers, punch a few darts, then should be no wukkas. We'll be going off like a blue-arsed blowfly. Should be a rip snorter of an arvo. Righto, who's keen?"

Mate = "friend" but we use it for strangers too.

Keen = "agreeable to"/"up for"/"ready for."

Drongo = a fool or idiot, originating from Drongo, a racehorse in the 1920s that was as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike. The horse itself was named after the spangled drongo.

Bottle-o = a liquor shop. A place to buy booze.

Arvo = afternoon.

Slab = a case of beer.

Piss = booze, specifically beer. "Slab of piss" is a mite redundant here since you can just say "slab" without the "piss" part as slab already means beer.

Chuck = toss.

Esky = a drink cooler. Originates from "eskimo," because it keeps your drinks cool (like an igloo or something, despite the fact that igloos trap heat in. Reverse igloo.)

Defo = definitely.

Neck = eat.

Snags = sausages. This is not just a slang term but a replacement term. You'll almost always hear "snags" over "sausage" here.

Shelve = take.

Pingers = slang term for MDMA/ecstasy tablets.

Punch = smoke.

Darts = cigarette. A hand-rolled cigarette is called a durry.

No wukkas = "no worries"/"no issue." Originates from "no wukkin' furies," a politer way of saying "no fuckin' worries."

Going off like a blue-arsed blowfly = to have a good time.

Rip snorter = something very good, usually in referral to some kind of event.

Righto = another way of saying "right." Nowadays it's not used in agreement but instead to preface a sentence ("Righto, where were we? Oh, that's right.") The older generation and people in the Outback still use it in agreement.

Hope that helps clears some things up!

#bluposting #true blu

[beck-derringer]

Derringer Reunion

Date: Sunday, May 7th (Morning)

Location: Sunrise Diner

Notes: Beck surprises Bonnie and Jude, but Jude one-ups her with a surprise of his own.

If Beck had guessed correctly, Jude should have already woken up and made his way to the diner. She hadn’t told her brother or her mom that the crew had been on the way to Kraysha - because surprises were much more fun. Her sunglasses on, she walked into the diner. Sure enough, as she predicted, the interior had been significantly cat-ified. The waitstaff were wearing cat ears of all colors - thankfully no tails included - and there were all sorts of cat decorations strung along the tables and walls. Still, it felt like the Sunrise Diner. Just aggressively more cat.

She looked immediately towards the booth that was dubbed “the Derringer booth”, because it was the booth Beck and Jude always sat at. And sure enough, there was Jude. Still the same, albeit now with thicker facial hair. She took off her glasses and walked his way.

“‘Scuse me, cobber, I’d like to speak to the owner of this establishment,” she spoke, leaning against the table and grinning. “And maybe her galah [idiot] of a son, too.”

Jude looked up from his laptop, and immediately his eyes widened. “Becca? Holy shit!” He immediately got up and gave her a tight hug. He even picked her up for a quick second, ecstatic that his twin returned.

Beck hugged back and laughed. “Alright ya drongo, put me down. Jeez.” She lightly hit his shoulder until he decided to put her down and let her go. “Crikey, your beard got thick.” She reached up and started pulling at the hair on his face. “I couldn’t have guessed you had the hair follicles to pull this off.”

“The beard helps hide the wrinkles. You should probably think about growing one yourself,” Jude quipped. This prompted Beck to give him a harder smack on the arm.

“Oh fuck off! Prick.” She looked around the diner. “Where’s Mum?”

“She’s doing important diner owner things in her fancy office.” It was not in fact a fancy office, as this was still just a diner. “C’mon, let’s go.”

They both walked to the back of the diner to Bonnie’s office. The door was closed. Jude gave it a couple of knocks.

“I’m busy, who is it?” Bonnie called from behind the door.

Jude crossed his arms with an amused grin, and leaned against the side of the door frame. “Mum, there’s a huge mess that just happened in the kitchen.” Beck covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “Yoojeen slipped on a banana peel and got pancake batter all over fryer.”

“Again?!” Bonnie screamed in disbelief. Fast stomping could be heard approaching the door. “I swear if Yoojeen wasn’t the fastest cook we had, boy I would -” The door slid open, but Bonnie paused when she saw both the twins standing in the doorway.

Beck gave her mom a wave. “Hi Mum!”

Once Bonnie processed what was happening here, her face lit up. “Rebecca? Oh my God!” She immediately brought Beck into a tight hug. “I can’t believe it! You didn’t tell us you were coming! And - Jude!” She let go of Beck and gave Jude a light smack on the arm. “That isn’t funny! You’re thirty seven! Stop trying to stress out your mother for fun!”

Jude laughed. “I was just trying to surprise you!”

-----------------------

The three of them sat at the Derringer booth, where Beck was helping herself to a full stack of pancakes drowning in syrup.

“Oh, Becca, it sounds like you had so much fun on Earth,” Bonnie commented with her hands folded together. “Never got to go to Sydney, much less any of those other places. I’m so glad you get to see things like that.”

Beck nodded. “Yeah, it seems like Earth is different every time I go there. It’s not like here. Kraysha always seems to stay the same.”

Jude’s eyebrows raised and he made a face. “Well, damn, you make that sound like such a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing. You think I’d be happy if these pancakes were different every single time I came here?” She took a big bite of pancake.

Jude and Bonnie both looked off behind her. Beck didn’t notice how a smile grew on both their faces.

“Well, actually there is something different this time around,” Jude began.

Beck looked up at him in confusion, mouth still full of pancake. Jude got up from his seat, and seemingly out of nowhere a gorgeous purple-haired Erkuss woman with pale golden eyes appeared. Holding what looked like a newborn. Also with pale golden eyes. And thick, dark brown hair. Jude placed a head on the newborn’s tiny head and looked at Beck.

“Becca, meet your niece. Cleo.”

Beck spit pancake bits onto her plate. “What the fuck?!”

-----------------------

Beck was a little pissed, not because Jude was a dad now, but because he waited until the baby slid out the damn womb before telling her. She sat in the booth, arms crossed, now sitting next to Bonnie while Jude and his baby mama - apparently named Molly, after Molly Ringwald. Bonnie was holding little Cleo and hadn’t stopped smiling once since Molly and the baby arrived.

“I found out the moment Molly took a pregnancy test,” Jude was in the middle of explaining. “You know usually I’m really careful but I guess that night I was just so drunk that I -”

“Forgot to wrap it up,” Molly interjected. Jude nodded.

“- forgot to wrap it up, that’s right!” He laughed. “I remember the wrapper ripping off and then the rest was a blur.”

Beck raised an eyebrow.

“And you didn’t feel the need to tell me during any of the times we spoke on the comms?”

Jude gave a small shrug. “I wanted it to be a surprise when you got back.”

Now both of Beck’s eyebrows were raised. “Oh, well you succeeded, Jude! I am indeed surprised!”

Her eyes went to the baby in her mother’s arms. Newborn babies generally had the same face so it was hard to tell which parent Cleo looked like. But she definitely had the thick Derringer hair and what looked like a very small version of Jude’s nose. She was so tiny.

Her gaze returned to Jude and Molly. “So... what’s the situation here?” She waved her hand between them. “Are you together?” If Jude was both a father and practicing monogamy she was sure that would be her last straw.

Molly laughed. “Oh, stars no!” She glanced at Jude and then shook her head. “No, your brother couldn’t keep that in his pants even if he tried.”

Jude laughed and gave a shrug. “This is true!”

“And I’m a big practicer of monogamy. We’re strictly co-parenting,” Molly explained. “I see how Jude is with his students and I thought he would be able to manage this.”

Beck blinked. “You... also work at his school?”

Jude answered. “Yeah, Molly joined the faculty this year. We got real munted at a before-the-school-year faculty bash and the rest is history. She teaches art theory.”

An artist, huh. At least Jude had good taste in baby mamas.

“I also had a procedure done immediately after I received the news,” Jude told Beck. “You know, so next time I forget to wrap it up, it won’t result in such a big surprise. Totally reversible, in case I ever want to give Cleo siblings someday.”

“Which you shouuuuuld,” Bonnie remarked.

Jude rolled his eyes and looked over at Bonnie. “Mum, one thing at a time, yeah?”

Bonnie shrugged innocently before directed her attention back to her precious grandbaby.

This was a lot to process. How did so much change from the last time she was here?

Jude seemed to catch on to Beck’s thinking. Twin telepathy. His head tilted to one side.

“Becca? So what do you think?”

Beck looked at him. Then at Molly. Then at her mom and Cleo. Then back at Jude.

“What do I think? I’m pissed, first of all, that you kept this from me for this long.” She saw the expression in Jude change, prepared to take whatever fire was about to come his way. “Second of all... I never expected that hearing you becoming a dad would make me so happy.”

Now there was shock on his face. He hadn’t expected to hear that part. Beck looked at the tiny infant in Bonnie’s arms.

“She’s so beautiful, Jude,” Beck continued. “I can’t believe you created her.” She looked at Molly. “You sure he’s the dad?”

Jude and Molly both laughed.

“Oh I’m sure. I was going through a real dry spell before that night,” Molly said maybe a bit too candidly, but Beck had quickly gathered she was the very honest type.

“You want to hold her, Becca?” Jude asked.

Beck looked at the baby. She wasn’t exactly a seasoned baby-holder. But she also wasn’t a coward, so, she nodded.

Bonnie carefully handed the baby over to her, and Beck looked down at her. She couldn’t believe she was an aunt. Again, because this didn’t take away the fact that Jack and Jenn would always be her niece and nephew no matter what her deal with Julia was. She gave Cleo a small tap on the nose.

“Hi Cleo,” she spoke quietly with a soft smile. “I’m your Aunty Becca. I’m so happy to meet you.”

Cleo looked up curiously at this new face she hadn’t seen before. She cooed curiously, before a tiny hand grabbed Beck’s finger.

Beck immediately knew that she would love this little bean for the rest of her life.

#self para

[circusclownsam]

GOVERNOR YOU IDIOT

Why’d you kill those guys, could’ve used the family and the camp as a way to redeem yourself!

Fucking drongo.

AND NOW HERSHEL IS GONE, YOU FUCKING WANKER.

#twd the governor #twd roleplay #twd #tw the governor #the walking dead rp #the walking dead #the walking dead roleplay #circusclownsam talks

[onewomancitadel]

Do you think Cinder is capable of respecting Jaune?

No, my blog is a joke, and I was only shipping Knightfall for teh lulz. The angle this question is coming from sounds like the end of the fandom I personally think is full of idiots, but let me take you seriously, or otherwise assume you're asking this question specifically to address that end of the fandom populated by drongos.

Obviously yes, that's inherent to the dynamic of being humbled in a way she never expected.

If anything her talking down to him during the V5 Haven sequence is precisely because she recognises herself in him. I'm not defending what she says to him but I am saying there's more going on there than meets the eye. She's offended that he thinks he can possibly kill her (and he's going for the self-sacrifice move anyway, so she's sort of wrong) and in a way I think that offense is... true? He's not meant to kill her, this belief isn't exactly wrong, it's wrong insofar as it's insulting to him, I suppose - but that's not where the true strength lies, and that playfulness of them each being wrong and right in their own way during this interaction is what I live for.

I think it's not agreed upon whether she doesn't remember him or is just fucking with him but I prefer her genuinely not remembering him and then choosing to fuck with him specifically. That there is a genuine moment of wait who are you? which might on some level take her aback is more to my tastes, but at any rate she's never going to forget him now.

I also enjoy her not quite remembering from the metaphorical reincarnation angle and foiling Ozlem's reunion but that's just me lol.

They have a whole argument whilst he's on his back, and the vulnerability there - and her underestimating him - is exactly key to him discovering his Semblance. That there's a power in opening yourself up. Who ultimately prevails? Cinder at the bottom of the Vault or Jaune having saved his friend? Clearly there's not something adding up here. Someone is being vindicated (it's not about fighting what you hate but saving what you love) and someone isn't (might is right, who ironically helps the former come to his conclusion).

There is also the uncomfortable reality that because of her impression of him and him trying to kill himself last time the thing he does to Penny is the last thing she would expect. He's taken her aback twice now. To be quite frank I think Cinder would respect him on this front which might be secondary to anger and him keeping the power from her; you can see what's informing my fanfic, and frankly my fanfic is more interesting for me to write.

That on some level she respects him or might respect him for that is a little bit fucked up. It's not respect that he would want. But that sense of wrongness is hot and I hope that if the Jaune/Cinder-Penny issue ever eventuates in canon that's the direction they go in, because if she respects him for something that broke him in half - that he committed to this terrible, terrible, terrible thing - that would so fuck him up and it would be totally delicious and it would make them fight, and of course Cinder would be confused as to why he's offended. He did a magnificently terrible thing. It was beautiful. That opens up the door to her thinking about him in a different way, but on the other hand it also forces her to see him struggle over it, which might make her reflect on herself.

The reality is that if Cinder ultimately respects him, though, for being a brute or a mindless killer is that that's not the Knightfall romance I want. That's not the type of romance endorsed by the narrative. So if you're talking about Cinder respecting Jaune as an equal - and seriously her equal in no other way possible - you're talking about her ultimately respecting him because of his mercy and compassion and his willingness to do absolutely anything at the expense of himself, something that transcends a mercy-kill. You're not really talking about her respecting him as someone who would threaten her. You're talking about respect on an emotional level of finally, finally starting to figure out what's really valuable.

It's that tension of love and power and destiny in her story. It's not going to be Cinder falling in love or respecting a brute. It's someone powerful in a way she never anticipated. Forcing her to confront herself, too. Respect for him is respect for herself which she has none of and that's exactly why she takes such offense at him during the Haven confrontation because she was nothing and feels she is nothing without Salem.

So I think her respect and love for him is intertwined with her own personal journey, and discovering that there is something that is powerful because you give yourself up to it is very very exciting to me. That he's taken her aback and surprised her already makes me want more of it. I want to see her humbled and I want her to look at what she's already got.

Also, I've tip-toed around this - but Jaune's power here is not the simple bruteforce of a Huntsman. It's not about him not being good enough. It's the irony of him cheating into Beacon and being the one to learn the true lesson outside the school that turns the tide... it's not whatever performance he puts on to entice Weiss because he thinks they should just be together... it's not him being left at the bottom of Beacon Tower and - honestly - we know why Pyrrha left him there because she thought he wasn't good enough to fight Cinder, it would get him killed and it would kill Pyrrha, too. How do you think that made him feel? I'm not blaming Pyrrha for anything there, she's a wonderfully tragic character for a reason, but I think Jaune needs more narrative vindication lol. I think that there is something very painful and ripe there that the person to see him truly as he is - very powerful and genuine and wonderful - is, well, Cinder.

There's an irony there I find interesting, there's a certain flavour of - don't you think he hates leaving people behind? Don't you think he ever wonders if anybody would ever pick him first? There's a deep character desire that I wonder if they're ever going to address, and I just wonder how they'd set someone up to recognise that...

That he wishes someone would pick him first... that someone who seems like they could never ever come back is Cinder herself... that perhaps one of the most powerful gestures she could make is choosing a higher good that so happens to be going with him... the answer here is obvious. There is no higher way to address his character desires or hers. Respect for him is tied to her own moral transformation and the themes at large. You won't understand the dynamic if you think Jaune's just a murdering brute who's been denied by the narrative, though, and yes, whilst he's bigsexy fighting Grimm it's not the same thing involving Cinder, and frankly if she respected him solely for being physically strong enough to kill someone you wouldn't have the same romance at all. It would be sad. True strength isn't there.

The strength prized by the narrative is your empathy and belief tested to its absolute limits and that it holds. It's the endurance and trying and caring, and honestly I can't think of a better character who embodies that. Mercy-killing Penny at her behest would've broken anyone else; even Ruby denied her it. Not Jaune. That's why I think he's such a fascinating character and pairs perfectly with Cinder if her redemption arc - that I feel is the thematic lynchpin and set-up for the major narrative resolution - makes itself known.

#seraphina's asks #user: anonymouse #knightfall

[wildpix]

A Kleptoparasite, not a Drongo in the Australian slang sense of the word where Drongo means “idiot”. This Fork-tailed Drongo is smart and devious. It often acts as a sentry for other animals and birds, warning them of approaching danger. However, it has refined this “service” into a devious act of fraud, sounding a false alarm as soon as it notices the other animal, or bird, has caught a food item, causing them to flee, leaving the food item behind for the Fork-tailed Drongo to scoop and steal.

This has been observed frequently and it is estimated that 25% of its calories are obtained this way. This deception is even taken to a further, more sophisticated level where it has learnt to mimic the alarm call of other birds and animals, such as the Meerkat.

An entertaining short BBC Earth video of this can be seen at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEYCjJqr21A.

But there is much more to the Fork-tailed Drongo than being a kleptoparasite, they aggressively defend their territories and their nest against much larger species, including birds of prey.

They are very vocal at dawn and dusk, and mostly “perch hunt”. They are almost exclusively carnivorous, eating small insects including butterflies, grasshoppers, scorpions, caterpillars etc.

Photo by @reandutoit

#reandutoit #reandutoitphotography #naturephotography #nature #birdphotography #birdsofinstagram #bird #southernafrica # kleptoparasite #mimic #drongo #forktaileddrongo #wilderness #africa #krugerpark #wildlife #savanna #safari #kruger #krugernationalpark #motherearth #natgeoyourshot #natgeo #canon @natgeoyourshot @natgeo

[munstysmind]

G'day! 😈

What if Seb was on a date that ends badly because he spends the entire date talking about Maddie without even realising it?

Honestly, she would probably smack him up the back of the head and curse him out for being such an idiot because she knows right away what happened

“Nobody woman wants to hear all about the female best friend on a date you fucking knucklehead”

“Mads…”

“NO, you call her and you apologise… god you’re such a drongo”

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

if you have a question about aussie slang, for a fic or whatevs, please just ask i don't know all of it, but we do have some fun words and sayings that are day to day statements

esp. the more rural you go

not everyone has the full accent though, because you do get a lot of pressure at work to come across... professional or whatever.

the only one i've never been sure of being an Actual Phrase, or if it Became A Phrase after popularisation on a tv show, is "Stone the Flaming Crows" bc a dude from Neighbours used to say it frequently.

examples of day to day stuff i can think of right now

mad as a frog in a sock (angry about something, went off, off the shits)

mad as a cut snake (usually means 'they're nuts', but can also mean they exploded with anger, usually contextual)

she'll be right (it's fine - can be a flippant statement, can be reassurance, etc)

drongo / galah - (idiot, not very smart, wanker, etc)

dunny = toilet

thunderbox/outhouse / long-drop - usually outdoor toilet

dry as a nun's nasty / dry as a dead dingo's donger (I am thirsty, or It Is Hot AF/we need rain so bad)

chuck a u-ey (do a u-turn)

Oi! (Hey I want your attention/i was surprised, general exclamation, stop that, you are in a lot of fucking trouble mate - depends on the tone of voice and volume) like "OI!" says aunty ruth has just found her dentures in jello and she knows you did it, etc

Bugger off (go away, or sometimes a statement of disbelief)

Yeah nah /Nah yeah (can mean yes, no or maybe depending on what was said directly before the statement)

you cant pull the wool over my eyes - you can't lie to me like that / i can see you are not telling the truth

shut your gob / put a sock in it / put a cork in it - (shut up / shut the FUCK up / close your mouth or i will shut it for you) depends on tone

Ya wally (you idiot)

Roo = kangaroo

o = can be affixed to anything to shorten it at the servo - gone to the service station, arvo - afternoon, smoko - morning tea, bottlo - where the grog is

goon/goonsack - wine in a box

grog - alcohol

stubbie - beer, ususally

boardies - board shorts

rashie - swimming shirt,

slip, slop, slap - ancient proverb for avoiding sunburn. singing pelican.

thongs - footwear

sheila = female / woman, don't hear this a lot at the moment tbh except in certain contexts or from specific people

'Getting rowdy' = things are heating up, people are riled up, a fight is about to/has just broken out, etc.

DJ's like a mad cunt = one very specific meme about a bad PM we had like 10 years ago. i can't tell you how many PM's ago, it's been game of thrones here lmao

Beyond the black stump / Out whoop-whoop / references to timbuktu (quite a distance away)

strewth!/crickey!/bloody hell - (exclamation of surprise, expletive replacement, etc)

flat out like a lizard drinking (tired / drunk / exhausted / sleeping)

pull a harry holt - (I've heard a dozens variations of this one, it means Go Missing / Disappear, often used as a joke. PM Holt went swimming one day and disappeared)

have a stickybeak (to poke your nose in/investigate/look around)

chuck a wobbly/throw a tanty/chuck a tanty/throw a wobbly (throw a tantrum, i have legit never seen anyone successfully deescalate a situation by telling someone not to chuck a wobbly or throw a tanty, go figure lmao)

bogan - (very specific kind of low-income, generally white, people. sort of like rednecks, but with more stereotypical aussie features like a mullet, singlet tops, sunnies, stubbies, etc. tend to fall under the liberal party ideology - who are our republicans... )

ankle-biters / rugrats / little takkers / gremlins / nippers - (kids, usually the littler ones)

tiff - argument, small fight (had a tiff, had a row)

pav = pavlova

piss/whizz/take a piss = going to pee

vegemite - delicious

Kiwi = New Zealander

Banana benders - the disrespectful bs that apparently other states call anyone living in Queensland, the wankers

station - farming areas that have sheep or livestock usually, have farmhands etc.

dole bludger(s) - (anyone on Centrelink, whether they want to be or not, with no other employment. but like, a lot of people on centrelink have a job that does not cover enough and need additional financial supports to meet a minimum wage, or are students or apprentices, etc. there are people who go on centrelink on and off to avoid engaging in the jobseeking stuff, they are the real dole bludgers, but a lot of richer people tend to call anyone on 'welfare' bludgers)

don't you come the raw prawn with me - (do not lie to me / don't try that shit with me, mate / I wasn't born yesterday /etc)

dak/dack - to dack someone is to come up behind them and yank their pants down (or skirts). Often taking out your boxers, too.)

budgie smugglers - (speedoes, male swimwear)

togs/toggs or cozzie (swimwear, any kind. cozzie = costume)

mozzie - (mosquito)

better than a kick up the backside /better than a kick in the arse - (pretty self explanatory, one of those phrases parents use to get slightly hurt kids to start laughing and/or coworkers to commisserate about new work rules, etc)

I wouldn't piss on (name) if they were on fire - (self-explanatory, you hate them, or they're a useless tit or an insufferable person /a suckup etc, and you would gladly hand them a match)

one for the road = getting a drink for the road, usually. can also make a joke of it like, "one last piss for the road" = I'm going to the bathroom before I leave

here's your handbag, what's your hurry - probs not an aussie phrase but a common joke in my family

----------------

So like, there's some words and items from Australian Indigenous culture that often get used wrong in stereotypical characters, like saying 'gone walkabout', using 'cooee', making digeridoo jokes, and making some really uncomfy 'savages' statements can be very disrespectful. You might want to go looking into Australia's fucked up policies and historical (and only recent) situations before starting any arguments about this stuff... in many ways it mirrors the cruelty of american colonisers to native american peoples, etc.

Avoid some phrases. Your character gone to cool their head? He's gone off on to soak his head, or he's on his bike (gone away) but he'll be back... You can use 'Oi, dickhead!'

Please don't mock the names of towns or places, they are often the names from the traditional custodians and inhabitants.

-----------------

Random things:

We drive on the left side of the road, driver's side reversed.

More of our cars are automatic than manual. Utes aren't atypical, but bigger vehicles are out in rural areas because more than a few of the rural roads are poorly maintained or dirt, with potholes that yoyo your soul into your body.

If you have a character on a long drive on a non-highway, or rural road: +if you are on a one-lane road and someone is comingthe other way, you both move half-on, half-off; for big vehicles or trucks, you can choose to pull off completely and stop. Just for safety, esp. in rain, fog, mist or late at night. +at one-lane bridges, you have a give way sign on one side. if you want your characters to have a moment of 'pause to look at each other while driving' or 'a quiet moment of reflection', have them wait for another car or truck to pass from the other side. These can be a few metres long, to like, a really long bridge. +They may pass markers that say 'flood level marker' with numbers of 2, 3 or 5 metres. Could be useful to remark on if your fic needs a reason for them to have a crisis. +Bushfire warning signs (from Low to Catastrophic) are frequent +Animal Crossing signs are very frequent, and often have a wildlife rescue number on them +Water restriction signs are in most small towns, they range from levels 1 to 6. This can change what the characters are allowed to do with water in little towns, etc. +You may occasionally find a small servo and one or two houses. +pubs don't open/won't serve alcohol until after 10am. the joke has always been, 'beer on your cornflakes' but you will never be able to actually get that unless you preplanned the night before in your hotel room. +Around dawn and dusk, a lot of animals like hares, kangaroos, wallabies, sometimes echidnas and koalas and little numbat things, and snakes and bushmice will be close to the road. Sometimes dashing across. They do not react logically to cars approaching, and will leap out at random. Hares do this zigzag nonsense. If you need the character to hit the brakes frantically, or swerve, this is a good reason. If you are ever driving here and see an animal on the side of the road, flip lights to low beam, slow down and watch to see how they react. If you can. If there's a truck blaring down on you, you may not be able to.

+Emus are in more rural areas. Echidnas sometimes appear on fringes of towns though.

+Kookaburras are a lovely creature, I have rescued a few and they are nice... but their laugh is very grating when it goes off super early in the morning. They eat snakes (good) and baby birds (not so good).

+Lots of snakes round here. LOTS. Carpet Snakes are pretty common, red-belly black snakes, eastern brown (big danger!!!), whip snakes have declined in my region, keelback snakes, this one black and white banded one we found deceased, etc. Snakes can climb, snakes can SWIM. Putting something that stinks around a campsite MAY help, but not always.

+Never go swimming in a dam you don't own, and that hasn't been checked, and if no one knows where you are. How deep is it? What's on the bottom? How stirred is the water? etc.

+Kangaroos CAN drown you. They have perfected this attack, and will do it to humans, dogs and other pursuers alike. They can also eviscerate you with their hind paws or shatter your ribs with a kick. The 'boxing' they do is exceptionally violent. This seems to surprise people, but like, giraffes can kill each other by slamming their heads into each other, you think a 7 ft swole motherfucking cryptid can't do harm? They can be lovely tho, if they trust you. But DO NOT GO PETTING WILDLIFE.

+Dropbears, austrilanicus vericanthus bitus, are real. We do make jokes about them, but they are a Problem. The pee on yourself thing won't ward them off, that's more about working out which tourists are the most gullible (and if they run with it, the moistest) lmao. Akubras and other thicker-layered headwear,

+We have wild dogs and feral pigs. Do not fuck with the feral pigs, some are HUGE, and no... they're not just pigs who escaped farms, these are MASSIVE motherfuckers who will Get You if they See You. Rustling in the night outside the tent? Good Luck.

+Koalas should not be picked up directly. They have claws, and a lot of them have chamydia. I mean if a character saves one in a fic that's fine I guess, but like... someone's getting antibiotics after that lmao. They are bigger than you think, dumber than you think, and sometimes they have to be chased across a highway with a windscreen cover bc they're not very bright and keep failing to climb metal fences, lmaoooo

+Towns of about 20-30k will have more shops (some franchise, some local owned), servos, fast food places and usually at least two to three shopping centres. Usually small level entertainments like a cinema, or local groups. +Towns with 10-20k, may have one or two major shopping centres, servos (tracks and RVs catered to), possibly a maccas, and the majority of stores will be local-owned. May have a cinema, but not one that has the newest releases. Local council may have more festivals, or 'that one thing they're known for'. +0-10k towns have a small local store, prices usually a bit higher. A servo, often with capacity for trucks. Local festivals. Characters can cop a bit of side-eye in these places, esp. if they don't fit the traditional ideas or are loud/violently american. +Grey nomads are a thing. Old people with fancy caravans who drive So Slow, and move all around aus. Several refused to stop during covid and it was like, WHO DO YOU THNK WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP ALIVE BY STOPPING YOU MOVING THROUGH MULTIPLE TOWNS???

+Some rural areas have legit red dirt, its always super cool to look at. Some places have light brown to dark brown, some have more chalky colours or yellowish dirt. Depends.

+Reminder: Australia has very specific gun laws, if your character/s have weapons then they may need to be sneaky or store them specifically in the vehicle. Although if you're talking about like, mad max type rules, then who cares. But if you have them get into a gun fight in a town, the police will come, etc.

Dunno, just ask if you have a question... just trying to think of random things to paint a picture if you have a character over here for a roadtrip or mission or whatever.

[captaindaddykru]

☆for emily☆

today it’s @keiraknighted‘s birthday. i wanted to finish this before today, but everything is flaming garbage, so a preview will have to do. no, i will no be giving out more details. happy birthday to my musical soulmate, the kinkiest queen of them all, em. my ol’ cobber. my favorite drongo. quite the spunk you are. you’re a classic. and you live in the worst possible timezone imaginable. here’s some best friends, pining, sexy, below <10k hopefully. also, sorry for the ugly temporary moodboard???? i was getting desperate at this point and am no grapic designer. i just needed something to distract from what you’re about to read. cheers!

So, by the time their holiday break rolls around, Clarke isn’t only sexually frustrated, she’s also kind of desperate. Which only intensifies when a few days before they’re all flying back to their hometown, Wells casually lets it drop he’s now in a relationship with a girl from his old chess club and things are ‘heating up fast’, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. She’s just more aware than ever she’s running out of time. 

Clarke doesn’t even know why it’s such a big deal to her. Maybe it’s her competitive streak coming into play, or the fact she really just wants to get the whole awkward virginity thing over with, maybe it’s the dark inexplicable pang in the middle of her chest whenever she sees the constant rotation of girls on Bellamy’s Instagram and Snapchat. She figures it’s a healthy amount of jealousy, courtesy of their very codependent ways, sharing everything with each other since childhood. They’re all apart for the first time in a decade, going their own ways, perhaps even growing apart. 

She doesn’t think about why Wells’ honest to God girlfriend doesn’t bother her as much when in reality that should make her feel even worse. A girlfriend could screw with their dynamic, a bunch of one night stands rationally speaking won’t. It could be that she knows Wells too well to know there’s still a very big chance he won’t go through with it, that he’ll let the girl down easy before Christmas even rolls around. 

But. Then she finds herself thinking of his jacket covering her shivering body, drenched from the rain, her left arm throbbing with pain, his hand wrapped around hers as he told her it was all going to be okay. She thinks of that time he left Gina’s birthday party early to come pick her up at a friend’s house after almost having a panic attack, the nights he spent sleeping in her bed after her father died, how he never once complained about getting her coffee from the drive through that was more than his hard limit of three dollars, and that one throw-away moment at the end of summer. That goodbye hug that lasted just a little too long, his arms tight around her waist, the intense look mirrored in both of their eyes as they pulled apart, the way she was afraid to say anything in case her voice gave out, before she got into her mom’s car and watched him and Wells disappear in the rearview mirror. 

It’s hard to explain, even to herself. It’s why she never thinks about it for too long. 

Which all brings her to tonight. A new year’s party at the house of someone who went to the same high school as them, that has all the charms of a bad hang-over in the making — terrible beer, music that’s mostly EDM and completely shit-faced people plastered across every surface.

She hasn’t seen Wells since his father’s Christmas party. Clarke finally met Luna there in person. She’s beautiful, easily talked to her about the non-profit she’s interning at for half an hour and had nothing but love in her eyes whenever she looked at Wells. He’s with her at her parents’ ski cabin right now, and from the way Bellamy was clapping his shoulder before he left early in the morning, Clarke figures he’s probably losing his v-card to her there which means that she’ll be the only one out of the three of them not to complete the pact. There’s no way she’s finding someone before midnight that she’d both feel comfortable with taking hers, and is even willing to do so in the first place. 

To make matters worse, Bellamy has totally ditched her to play beer pong with Bree, which she isn’t even sure isn’t code for hooking up in the coat closet. He knows she hates parties, especially when she doesn’t know anyone else there, and that she’s horrific at first impressions. She’s forced to make small-talk with Murphy, the loser who still hangs around their high school parking lot and she used to share one Culinary Arts class with before he got suspended. 

All of it combined has put her in a sour mood. And a drinking mood, but since all there is fucking shitty beer that might as well be toilet water she can’t even get drunk, so that just makes her even more unreasonably upset at nothing in particular. Maybe at the fact she’s so high strung and obsessed with controlling every little detail, that she didn’t just get it over with back on campus with some frat boy she never had to see again after, or that Wells and Bellamy managed to make it happen without even trying. It’s probably because she’s trying way too hard, people can probably tell.

It’s not fair that both of them beat her to it. Clarke wants to just be done with already, too. She wants to get it over with so she can get to the good, non first time stuff like them. She wants to be flirting with boys and girls at parties, or ask for someone’s number at a coffee shop without having to worry about having to explain it’s her first time doing any of it when they eventually invite her over to their room. She wants to be free and nonchalant and spontaneous, not constantly weighed down by the fact that she’s a virgin. It’s not like she’s asking for much. 

Half an hour to midnight, she pushes her way outside to the porch for some fresh air. It’s there where Bellamy finally bothers to leave Bree and her attention-seeking ways behind and come find her. 

“What’s up with you?” He asks, half a chuckle in his voice as he leans his forearms on the railing, mirroring her. 

Clarke grits her teeth together, then slowly exhales through her nose. She keeps her eyes on the tree swing in the distance, swaying softly because of the wind. “Nothing.”

He elbows her playfully, although his tone is serious. Of course he sees right through her. “Come on. Don’t give me that.”

She just grumbles something indecipherable, pushing back her hair from her face with one hand. She still doesn’t look at him, scared she might give anything more away. From inside, there’s the muffled beat of a hiphop song playing joined by the distanced tumult of college kids getting drunk and having fun. Except for the couple making out on the other end of the porch and one stoner sprawled over the grass smoking and staring at the sky, they’re alone. 

“I’m sorry about leaving you for Bree—” Bellamy starts, straightening back to his full height, and before she knows it, a flare of anger rises within her, burning white hot. She doesn’t recognize the feeling, but gets too lost in it to analyze it for very long.

Her head snaps to the side to glare at him, fingers tightening around the railing until her knuckles turn a pale white. “It’s not about Bree and her pathetic fuck-me eyes.”

“Okay,” he replies, sounding a bit too amused for her liking. He leans back, crossing his arms over his chest. It makes his biceps bulge in a way that’s completely unfair when she’s been perpetually turned on since Halloween, and it sends a surge of want pulsing from her core. “Then what’s it about, princess?”

Has his voice always been so deep? She hesitates, not sure she even wants to share this with him. He might be her best friend, but it’s embarrassing on a level she can’t even try and start to describe. “I’m annoyed, okay?” She bites, heated, which immediately makes her feel guilty. It’s not his fault nobody wants her. “I expected that I’d at least beat Wells to it. And since it’s all I can think about all the time now, I’m constantly horny.” A blush forms on her cheeks, down her neck and all over her collarbone, but she refuses to let that or the way his eyes widen slightly stop her. It’s only awkward if she lets it be. “I just feel so stupid. I mean, I had five months to get it over with like both of you, and here we are. What the hell is wrong with me?”

A tense silence wraps around them for a moment, Clarke’s heart pounding loudly in her chest as panic claws up her throat. She’s such a fucking idiot. She shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. She’s sure neither of them would’ve actually held it against her if she didn’t lose her virginity before new year’s, they’re better than that. She knows they are. Clarke is just so — frustrated.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and she finds herself entranced with the movement. “I didn’t know you were so upset about it,” he starts, tentatively. Her blue eyes snap up to meet his, a smirk breaking across his face. He’s teasing her, the asshole, when he says, “I mean, if you’re that desperate, I’ll do it.”

Her eyes narrow, finally pushing off the railing. A gust of wind greets her body, bristling her hair and making tiny goosebumps appear over her arms. She’s seconds away from angry tears, she can tell. “Don’t make it sound like it’s such a fucking chore.”

Bellamy just kind of stares at her dumbly, his whole body grown tense, making her even more furious. Did he lose his tongue all of a sudden? He’s never had a problem sharing his opinions on her, no matter how negative, before. “What?” She snaps, roughly brushing  a strand of hair behind her ear before tucking her hands back underneath her opposite armpits.  

“It wouldn’t be a chore, Clarke,” he corrects her, his eyes still slightly widened as if alarmed by the sound of himself speaking. He swallows visibly, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down in the low glow of the Christmas lights draped across the ceiling of the porch. Bellamy lifts one of his shoulders, casual, even if the movement is stiffer than it usually would be. “I just — I didn’t realize I was an option.”

Her heart trips over itself as silence stretches between them for a moment. She wants to ask him a million questions, but the best thing she can come up with is, “So you were serious?” Clarke raises her eyebrows, trying to figure out if he was just being nice, taking pity on her or if it was something much more dangerous than that. “You’ll do it?”

His jaw clenches briefly, his nostrils flaring. Another second, and he asks, rough, “Do you want me to do it?”

She considers it. This is Bellamy, her best friend. He can always make her laugh, and there’s no one else she feels as much at ease with, and he’s definitely attractive, even she has noticed as much. She likes his stubborn curls, his smile when someone catches him off guard, the sharp line of his jaw. And at the very least he would know what he’s doing. She trusts him. “Yes.”

Now that she’s aware it’s a possibility, she refuses to want anything else. It’d be kind of perfect, actually.

He clears his throat, blinking hard as he tears his eyes off her for a second, scrubbing his face with one of his hands. It’s very big, and Clarke finds herself wondering for the first time if it means the rest of him is big as well. Bellamy sniffs when his dark eyes land back on her. “Have you been drinking?”

“Just half a beer,” she answers, maybe a bit too eager, her hands dropping at her sides after smoothing down the bottom of her glittery top. She doesn’t want to give him enough time to talk himself out of it. “And I think someone diluted it with water so it barely counts.”

He nods, once, then nudges his head to the side. “Want to get out of here?”

Taking one more look around the porch, Clarke worries her bottom lip pensively, shooting him an apologetic look. “My parents are having friends over, so my house is definitely not an option.” 

Besides, she doesn’t want to risk them finding out and making it weird. Especially not if the consequence is going to be an open door policy whenever he or Wells are over. Nothing has to change after tonight.

“Thelonious is out,” he offers, then flinches when he seems to remember something else. “But Octavia might show up with her friends.”

Clarke nods, giving him another long searching look before she makes up her mind. It’ll be fine. This is Bellamy. She’s a pro at compartmentalizing and he’s sleeping with a different girl like every other night. It can just be sex. “Upstairs then?”

#keirakneighted #arysafics #emily's birthday #bellarke fic #preview #bellamy x clarke #bellarke #drabble #idk wtf im even tagging #to be continued hopefully this week

[sophisti-cunted]

WA Premier Mark McGowan has said that police patrols in regional and metro shopping centres will be stepped up, and that “people are acting like jerks, drongos and bloody idiots” at supermarkets.

The Guardian Australia, modelling how to sound like Crocodile Dundee in a crisis

#covid-19 #auspol #coronavirus

[blubushie]

hey blu is aussie slang really that confusing? it sounds normal to me but maybe i havent heard enough of it -leafanon

Righto, let me give you the dialogue that always confuses non-Aussies.

"Got a bingle out on Broady. Towies on site but as a result it's chockers in that direction." This translates to "Minor road accident out on Broadway, the tow trucks are on site but as a result traffic is backed up the arse in that direction."

Now, for dialogue from a video a mate sent me the other day and asked me to translate.

"Look, mate, if you're keen me and this drongo are heading down to the bottle-o this arvo to grab a slab of piss. I just chucked a sickie so we'll do that and chuck it in the esky, defo neck a few snags, shelve a few pingers, punch a few darts, then should be no wukkas. We'll be going off like a blue-arsed blowfly. Should be a rip snorter of an arvo. Righto, who's keen?"

All of that translates to: "Look man, if you're up for it me and this idiot are heading down to the liquor shop this afternoon to buy a case of beer. I just called in sick to work so we'll do that and throw it in the drink cooler, we'll eat some sausages, take a few MDMA/ecstasy tablets, smoke some cigarettes, and it should be no issue. We'll have some fun. Should be one hell of an afternoon. Now, who's up for it?"

#blu whos #true blu