#dont worry about being perfect

[pocketramblr]

do not think about evenly distributed chapter length, evenly distributed chapter length is the little death that brings about total writer's block, uneven length in chapters can't hurt you, do not think about evenly distri

#me looking a the wordcounts of different sections of this wip: what is going on here #this is going to be. a monster to write. but we persist. #well. or we stop and completely focus on the valentines wip so it can actually be posted in six weeks but i dont know if i have that kind o #dedication. might end up being a perfect valentines day 2025 isntead ya know #hmmmm ANYWAY what was i worrying about #oh yeah even chapters #ha ha ha. no. they're not going to be even and i accept that now so we can move on in writing it.

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

okay posting this now because i feel like the surprise song combo was so intentional and i hope we get to hear more about it on ttpd !! the getaway car/august/other side of the door mashup got my gears turning and now i can’t get them to stop.

the common thread between those three songs is the third party — i wanted leave him i needed a reason, you weren’t mine to lose, was she worth this? — and i know that basically ever since the breakup people have wondered if joe cheated, and this seemed like it could have confirmed it. while i definitely see the evidence for that, it hasn’t quite seemed like the right fit to me, and after this surprise song combo i finally figured out why. i don’t think that the third party she was singing about in melbourne was an actual person, but the idea of a person.

a huge theme on midnights is what led her to being who she is now. she is both the anti-hero and bejeweled, a mastermind and the unreliable narrator in dead reader… there are so many different versions of herself. clearly she was contemplating these different versions and the implications of being each of them.

a huge theme in gothic literature are characters that are not present in the setting, but the idea of them and what they would do is so strong that they end up influencing the story anyways. this happens in rebecca, the novel that inspired tolerate it, where the main character is haunted by living in the glorious shadow that rebecca cast, an impossible standard to live up to, despite the fact that rebecca died and actually, crucially, wasn’t as great as everyone made her out to be. but it doesn’t matter that she wasn’t that great or that she’s never actually there to be truly compared to because it’s the IDEA of rebecca that’s so powerful. it’s the GHOST that haunts the narrative.

and i wonder if that was part of what drove taylor and joe apart? not an actual ~other woman~ but the idea of who taylor could have been instead. all of the other versions of herself she contemplated on midnights. the third party she seemed to be singing about. even on other albums, before this, she’s contemplated what version of herself could be loved — “i’ve been the archer, i’ve been the prey, who could ever leave me darling but who could stay?” i wonder if there was an idea of taylor (a taylor that isn’t “too big to hang out”) that was so palpable, so real, that it ended up taking up the space of another person and haunting their narrative anyways? because, like the main character in rebecca, how could she live up to the idea of a perfect life?

basically: how can you say that you love someone you can’t tell has died? did you love the real me or the version of me in your head that perfectly fit into your world?

#it’s like in wuthering heights after catherine dies and heathcliff begs to be haunted by her #like. they could have been together when she was alive. but the ghost of her is far more powerful than the real woman ever was. #because it’s the IDEA of love and happiness and a perfect life. and that idea can’t be touched! #and a real human person can’t live up to that!! that’s what happens to the main character in rebecca and to heathcliff! #like yeah it would be great if we had no problems and had the exact same interests and wants and didnt have to compromise on anything #but a real human being will never be like that. and we know taylor swift is midnight rain #she does not want it comfortable. she wants to roll up her sleeves and attack the hard things #but how can you attack or dissect or truly understand the idealized version of you living in someone’s head? #when that version of you doesn’t want what you want or have the same fragile human feelings you do? #much to think about. both rebecca and wurhering heights were books i GREATLY enjoyed. #i could be reading into nothing here but dont worry. thats never stopped me before! #taylor swift #ttpd #eras tour #random thoughts with grace

[bmpmp3]

when people complain about getting like, a 98% grade on something because it was "so close to perfect" its like. i understand what you're saying on a technical level. but that is a line of thought so far away from my experiences and ways of thinking that i do feel like im from another planet. 100% isnt even a real number to me

#i kinda understand when its something like a multiple choice test or something where there is an objective answer #it might feel like u got so close but just missed one #again still a bit alien to me because my scholarly performance is mysterious and anything over 70 is great to me #but i mean ive had a 98 before once in a math test. i did get exactly 1 bit of 1 question wrong #but i didnt really care that it was one off from perfect i was too busy being happy because that was the highest mark id ever received #and the previous math test i had taken got a 53% . grade 11 was a wild time for me in math class GHJKSHFKds #anyway i kinda see where ur coming from with stuff with right or wrong answers like that #but i sometimes get friends in class complain that they got a 95 or something on an art assignment #because they think they got docked 5 points for one or two little things #but i dunno. thats not really how fine arts departments in university tend to grade things #you dont start at 100 and get docked marks for things you got wrong. i dont think ive ever seen a 100% on something like that #tbh the numbers are a little arbitrary i find. i do prefer to try to get em higher because that helps with grants and stuff #but the numbers dont mean all that much in fine arts or in art history (my two majors) a 75 and a 95 can function the same depending on lik #weighting and context and feedback and whatever. i dunno its a wild world out there #it might just be the perspective of someone who did really goodbad in school. (GoodBad (tm) its when ur good but also kinda bad at school!) #compared to someone who got a lot of perfects in mandatory schooling. i sympathise i really do that kind of pressure sounds insane #but while i sympathize i cant really empathize as much unfortunately with this specifically orz its a world very far outside my purview! #100%s arent real to me so they never cross my mind to be worried about LOL

[hakiarleon]

yknow what im choosing to believe that mitsuhide green hair louen gets the exact same comments on his hair as miss red haired shirayuki its just not plot relevant so we never see it <3

#like. SUCH a hilarious design choice when ur protag being the only person having red hair is literally the driving force for the plot #lets give this guy green hair. yea dont even worry about it thats perfect #red memoirs #ok yea gonna maintag this one. hello #akagami no shirayukihime #mitsuhide louen

[yansurnummu]

having a "holy shit I did that" moment about the new tile in our kitchen

#yans stuff #im not butch but i believe in their beliefs etc #i only had to do 1 tiny revision around the outlet bc it was a couple mm too high for the box to go back in #but yeah hey it feels pretty good to make things and have things in ur house that u touched in some way #and having my own place and not having to live in Landlord Beige anymore #also dont worry about it not being straight. the house was built in the 1920s its bc the WALL is not straight #but also she doesnt need to be perfect shes beautiful the way she is <3

[orbmanson7]

(I love how I keep seeing theories about the narrator in the new storybook audio being 'evil' and terrifying, meanwhile I know damn well holly just has the absolutely BEST witch cackle ever and takes every opportunity to use it)

#welcome home #i love seeing these Oh No The Narrator is someone from playfellow and is the real villain Concepts #like guys no they just chose the perfect person to narrate a spooky lil tale bc she has the absolute best evil laugh ever #no worries #theres probably some implications with the narrator but i dont think theyre about them being evil #its probably more to do with the narrator communicating with the characters #thats all #orbs thought bubbles

[daughterofsarenrae]

if i put my noise cancelling headphones in i cant hear robin getting into things he's not supposed to be getting into, so really it's like he's not even doing that. he is being so good and playing in the least destructive way possible <3 what an angel <3 he's never done anything wrong in his life <3

#dont worry it's not like. gonna hurt him. it's just annoying as hell for me <3 #FINALLY managed to block off the kitchen so he can't get in there to go under the stove. big win 4 me #baby: robin #making angus look like a perfect baby in comparison. angus was NEVER this desperate to go under the stove #he def went there but only a couple times. i never had to ban him from the kitchen bc of it #man. i do wish angus and robin's paths had intersected while angus still had play energy #he is soooo crotchety about robin so i just keep them separated but damn. they wouldve been so fun to have out together #stressful as HELL it wouldve been a NIGHTMARE #but they wouldve had fun <3 #robin just tries to play* with kiera #*play means jump out from under the couch and harass her #and then act offended when she tries to play back #bestie u started this. im not saving u #kiera has gotten SOOOOO much better at being chill with ferret shenanigans <3 #character growth fr #god i am SO CHATTY rn someone attack me with weapons #bel speaks

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[floralovebot]

on one hand i'm glad the aquafam aren't as popular as the batfam for a multitude of reasons. on the other hand if i can't read 50 new metas a day about garth i might choke

#OUGHHHHH #need a 20 page essay on garth and letifos STAT #they shouldve been endgame... #im so serious about that #listen i love dolphin dont get me wrong but i really do think him being with letifos wouldve made more sense #im prepared to defend this but no ones gonna ask alhdglj #dont worry guys the video essay in my head is perfect rn

[finniestoncrane]

Imagine s/o with daddy oz, walking under a doorway with a mistletoe and just stopping him and peppering kisses all over his face but turns out that's just a holly berry and not a mistletoe because s/o doesn't know the difference

(This may or may not have just happened to me today)

ok i can and i will and tbh i would because i didn't really think of them as being different but now that you mention it one is red and one is white and they have very different leaves (god, rose if you see this i am so sorry my knowledge of plants is dreadful but that's why i have you)

but do you think for a minute that oz would correct you? that he'd be anything other than stupefied? completely melting, absolute mush in your hands as you hold his cheeks and stick a whole bunch of kisses all over him?

you think he's not going to grab your face and smoosh it between his big hands and look deep into your eyes because my god you're a lil bit of an idiot but you're his idiot? urgh 💜🐧

#look i just think he'd be especially sweet to a little bimbo or someone who was just floatin about not paying much attention to shit #you dont have any common sense or awareness of your surroundings??? #good that's perfect #let him do all your worrying and noticing for you #finnie writes #anon #friends being friends

[libelelle]

I hope you all find me incredibly cringe. Its embarrassing but i wouldnt have it any other way

#see its important you find me a little cringe cause that means i dont have worry about ruining my image of perfection for you 💛 #IN SLASH J WAY. IM BEING SILLY #talk tag

[shivasdarknight]

...no like seriously, how do we know that glaze and w/e that new one is are even safe? yeah it's clear it seems to work, but you still have to upload your work to get it glazed. which means it could be being stored to build a reference database.

how do we know it's safe because everything im seeing is just basically "trust me, its safe"? like does anyone remember the site that you could play with lighting on your pieces? that was gathering images for a dataset. and we just have to do the same thing with glaze and hope it's not compromised?

#original #im not saying stop using it. im just leery of something that says it works right when everyone's freaking out about it #''hey we know you're worried about your art being uploaded to a site and having it scraped #which is why you can upload your art to our site so that people can't skim it :)'' #that just sounds to me like the perfect opportunity to have someone create an Exclusive dataset on the art being glazed #i dont trust it. there's something weird about it just asking us to trust it.

[khaotunq]

can I sue you for emotional damage for all the beautiful and gorgeous and just soulwrecking GIFs you dropped into your friends ask box? yes? thank you.

non, i'm gonna level with u. right now i would let you do literally anything you want to me.

that was not meant to sound as dirty as it does reading it back but. I guess.

ok so listen i'm fighting back tears on public transport because I so rarely get asks/anons and i have had an unbelievably bad day today so gimme a sec here

what I mean to say is yes.

(hey google how can I turn litigation into an elaborate and also maybe borderline aggressive marriage proposal)

#so it is decreed #ask post #anonymous #for rainy days #because i want to come back and cry about this for years to come #it's all very a lot #i'm so [gestures vaguely] about this ask #thank u non #i wish for u to have the most perfect and fulfilling existence #tbh for someone who doesnt fuck w the idea of marriage in any regard i sure do threaten it a lot #its no less sincere tho #if anything i think it goes to my credit #i dont want to be married i dont particularly even wish to cohabitate #so me offering to marry people is sort of me being like i would do it #i would do it for u #jesus christ jay go get ready to leave and stop adding tags to an already posted thing #i just worry that i didnt express my sudden and violent desire to protect this non for the rest of my life

[nomaishuttle]

now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .

#in my heart i want a wawa so badly it hurts but alsoooo i worry quite a bit bc like. i work full time... so el wawa would be at home alone a #lot and one thing about the beautiful adorable majestic chihuahua is they have to pee every 3-4 hours. so i would have to have some way to #let them out OR keep them outside while im at work but another thing is 1. apartments dont generally have backyards #2. chihuahuas get cold very easily .... i could do some ssort of doggy daycare but i fear that would be expensive .... and i hate pee pads #and would prefer not 2 use them so i dont rly have much optionn 😭 but i want a chihuahua so badly. #but ALSO. a kitty cat.... i love cats i think theyre really quite sweetsies and also i think they could handle living in an apartment bette #esp since famously cats use the bathroom indoors. u may know. #so... i could potentially get a kitty..... but also i dont want to get one until im absolutely positive i could take good care of it and i #feel like i could esp now that ive got a system that works so well 4 motivating me to do my daily tasks yk. and also i think if i had my ow #apartment id feel a lot safer just like. being up and around the apartment so thatd be good... but also pets r expensive. but also the apt #i just applied to is rly quite cheap (like 1050 a month) its income restricted but i qualify by like a lot LMAO... n this would be perfect #bc 1050 is likee. not even a full paycheck i could pay rent with 1 paycheck and still have like 150 left over and then my other paycheck fo #the month is fully mine... so i could save up lots #+ wsg is included in the rent whichhh is insane. adn the apartment is cute and Trust . alarm bells were going off a bit bc i was like maybe #this is too good to be true we all remember the 800$ scam incident. but its a verified listing and i checked the propertymanagers and theyr #legit... its even got a washer and dryer IN UNIT and also a fitness center which is good bc i wanna try n start doing more cardio... #IT EVEN HAS A FIREPLACE i dont particularly need a fireplace but its cool 2 have one i could make smores right in my very own living room #AND ITS NOT A STUDIO its a 1 br... #grahhh i rly rly rly want ittt ik i prolly wont get it but :[

[allylikethecat]

Hi :) what time do you think the a&e update will be posted?

I am still at work (RIP) and will then be going straight to see my lovely baby Pop - I wanted to get it up this morning before I left for work but life had other plans 😩 it will be up tonight - but unfortunately not for a few more hours, probably around 9 or 10 EST. I'm so sorry! I'm hoping to be better next week and actually get it up before I have to leave for work! Real life is just very inconsiderate to my fanfiction posting schedule smh. Hopefully the update will have been worth the wait! I look forward to hearing what everyone thinks!

❤️Ally

#ask ally #allylikethecat #anon ask #rid me of the blues #a&e fic #the a&e fic #infection verse fic #infection fic verse #infection verse #the infection verse fic #the infection fic verse #the infection verse #im sorry for being so bad at getting it out in a timely manner on Tuesdays #somehow every tuesday manages to be my business work day and i leave early in the morning and then dont get home until late #and im not not going to go ride pop #he's my baby and my best boy and my number one priority #but because daylight is now a thing i have to worry about #i have to go directly after work #because he is as perfect as they come #but riding in the dark is not very fun lol #this chapter is a tad shorter than some of the previous ones #but im happy with it #or as happy as i can be with my insecurity and lack of beta reading lol #i cant believe this thing is almost done #makes me sad

[mkscatgirl]

Got 103% on my first assignment of the semester 😎

#me last night: maybe i suck at everything and ill never be able to have a satisfying level of knowledge in any course cause maybe im stupi #stupider than i think and maybe im not physically capable of putting in the work to do well and maybe im stuck being mediocre or bad #at everything i do ever #me today: i literally got a perfect grade im so cool and smart 😎 😌 #i mean the assignment was veryyyyy easy but i was expecting like 90% for some technicality in presentation #but instead i got full marks and a bonus mark for my presentation being so good :) #im taking this as a sign from the universe to NOT give up #also in talking with my bf last night i was talking about how his belief in me began to feel like a negative pressure but then i was remind #reminded about how it orginally gave me motivation (permission) to believe in myself again and try harder which like brought me back to that #that feeling rather than what my mind had twisted it to which was just what if im stuck with sucking and i actually wont be able to achieve #this potential that me AND my bf who i respect and look up to academically both believe is there #which when combined with the fact that i generally worry that i suck at things felt like ASSSSSSSSSSSS #but now im like no. i will do my best. and if that sucks then it sucks. but chances are. i dont actually suck.