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chubbyheroesworthyheroes · 3 years

Note

How about Silas (Fates) and Raphael (3H)? In Silas' supports with Kaze, Kaze is secretly giving him more food as thanks for saving him (like refilling Silas' soup bowl when Silas isn't looking). I thought this could continue unnoticed until Silas can't fit into his armor. For Raph, I figure he's the type of person whose solution to everything is MOAR GAINZ. So what if Balthus bests him in practice combat, so Raph ups his caloric intake but ends up putting on a layer of chonk (and a big gut)?

editing? dont know em--

After their conversation, Silas believed he had gotten through to Kaze about how he didn’t need to pay him back for helping him against that Faceless -- especially since the other man had similarly ended up saving the Nohrian knight not too long after. As far as Silas was aware, they were even and just helping each other out as comrades.

But, on Kaze’s end, wanting to repay the knight for his deeds was just one part of why he was sneakily adding on to the other’s meals. Yes, he was grateful for the rescue, and he took repaying that debt very seriously, but that had been paid back in full by now. No, there was something else that kept Kaze by the silver haired knight’s side, but it wasn’t quite something he knew how to explain, so he let everyone else simply assume that they’d bonded and become good friends.

Which wasn’t wrong, per se, Kaze did actually enjoy Silas’ company. He just...also greatly enjoyed watching the other man eat to the point of being perhaps a little too full.

In Hoshido, especially if one was in the military, such indulgement wasn’t something tolerated. A soldier must be primed for a fight at all times, so while meals were always nourishing and flavorful, there wasn’t often such excess given to those in their station. From what he knew of Nohr, food was not as bountiful as it was in Hoshido, though it was safe to assume that the higher class was given access to the best regardless. Perhaps that was what drove some part of the ninja to give Silas more. Was it not good to give more to those who had been lacking in the same boons as your country’s riches?

But, even that didn’t ring ultimately truthful. At least, not entirely. It, of course, made him feel good to make sure his companions were all taken care of, but there was something else that lurked behind those good intentions. Some morbid interest in watching -- either from close by or afar, both were simple enough to accomplish with his skills in stealth -- another eat and eat, unaware of how much they were stuffing into themselves until something in their brain finally clicked and told them to stop, only it was too late already and they had to stay where they were, bloated and groaning.

It made Kaze flustered and just a little pent up merely thinking about it.

So, he kept up his activities in secret, adding on extras to Silas’ meals and observing -- both going unnoticed..

---

It had been some weeks now since Kaze’s focus on Silas had started. As someone trained to be both extremely observant and incredibly stealthy at the same time, it was a little baffling to see that the knight...had not noticed anything different about his meals. Kaze knew exactly how much he had been adding -- never too much at once, so as to not raise any unnecessary suspicion, slowly giving more and more when it seemed like the other had unknowingly grown accustomed to the portions -- and he was always cautious not to overdo it, but it was still a bit of a surprise that the Nohrian was still so unawares. It wasn’t a bad thing -- certainly not for Kaze -- and it spoke to Silas’ trust and camaraderie with everyone else in Corrin’s army. If it were anything serious, Kaze would be concerned for the knight’s willingness to so easily trust, but it was endearing all the same, and made curiosity gnaw at the back of his mind at how far he could go and still get away with this unnoticed.

Silas’ obliviousness towards what and how much went into his mouth also seemed to extend towards himself. While diligent in his training and duties, he wasn’t very preoccupied with how he looked. He cared where it mattered, of course; he didn’t want to reflect poorly on his dear friend, Corrin, and always looked presentable. But he seemed to have no qualms about himself.

So, where Kaze noticed the way his riding trousers now clung to the curves of his fuller ass, or how his fine shirts pressed cozily against the slight roll of chub that had appeared at his lower belly, Silas seemed perfectly happy not registering that anything was different. And that knowledge only made the heat inside Kaze grow, knowing that this was something of a perfect storm for him. If he weren’t so naturally mild mannered and quiet, Kaze would almost say the thought of what this could turn into made him giddy.

But, it was still early on in this little game, and there was still every chance that it would end when Silas took note of the changes.

---

“Whew, I must be coming down with something, because I just can’t seem to cool off!” Kaze overheard Silas one day, his attention immediately drawn away from his current task.

It was easy enough to fake taking inventory of their supplies to eavesdrop on the knight’s conversation.

“We do have warm summers here in Hoshido, perhaps you are simply not yet used to them, my friend,” came Ryoma’s sure and steady voice, his tone amused.

Kaze darted his gaze over to the two, who must have been finishing up some early morning sparring before the heat of the day got too bad. Prince Ryoma was, indeed, in good spirits; his expression mirthful as he exchanged some more words with Silas. Where there was some color to the prince’s face from the exertion of mock battle, it was clear he was fairing far better than his partner. Silas had at some point forgone his shirt due to the heat, giving Kaze a fantastic chance to get a good look at the effects his additions were having on the other man. The silver haired knight had never been particularly outstanding when it came to muscle mass, but he was at least a little above your average.

But now, where there had just been a small roll of flesh at his middle, there was a rather proper belly blossoming. That little bit of softness had risen like dough into a chubby midsection, still firm from his activities but clearly showing that he’d been getting well-fed lately. Where his belly curved out at the navel, it had the cutest bounce when he moved. It wasn’t anywhere near large enough to knock into his thighs yet, but it did create a nice rolling slab of chub that pinched in at his sides if he moved a certain way. But, Kaze was sure that when the man sat, that soft curve of his lower belly likely had started to brush the plushness of his thighs. His upper body was still fairly defined, though his pecs were rounding out nicely and there were some softer edges coming in on his upper arms and his face.

Well-fed.

That description sent a wave of heat down the back of the ninja’s neck, his unnoticed gaze burning hot as he took in every curve and rounded edge. Silas’ pale skin was flushed a delightful pink, both from the sun and the physical activity of getting in some training. Kaze wondered, vaguely, if he were to grab hold of that soft, pink belly, how would it feel? If he were to caress it gently, would the other even notice? Would he finally see, if he were to squeeze?

No, that would risk ruining the game when it was just picking up.

---

Kaze decided to add another layer to their little game, even if Silas was unaware that they were playing one. It had proven far too easy to keep adding food to the other man’s meals, so on top of constantly making those meals bigger, Kaze began coming up with excuses for giving Silas food in between the usual meal times.

It was easy enough to convince the other man to eat something after training sessions. After such physical strain, it was best to replenish the body with some food, was it not? Silas never seemed to notice that Kaze himself didn’t adhere to this supposed fact, or that the portions of food he was being given were far larger than needed to replace whatever his body had burned through while training. It was a little more difficult to get him to eat when he was out on patrols, as he stated that he wanted to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice if he needed to, but if he were on late night patrols, Kaze could more easily coax him into taking a small break to eat -- especially if he agreed to keep an eye out while the knight dug into his food.

More and more, any free time Silas had seemed to be taken up by food. He was a frequent face at the mess hall, and even when he wasn’t there at meal times, he always conveniently seemed to have food on hand -- and constantly stuffed in his chubby face.

And it was all because of Kaze. He was there, every step of the way, watching and providing and biding his time. As deliciously excruciating as the wait had been, Kaze was ready to claim his prize.

“Hey, Kaze…,” Silas hesitantly broached, his round cheeks flushed red -- from embarrassment, or from huffing and puffing his way through the camp, Kaze could only guess at. “I have a little bit of a problem. Well...Little is probably not the right word--”

Kaze inclined his head, to denote that he was still listening to the knight ramble on, but he would privately admit, he was more focused on accounting for all the new weight that had settled in so well on the Nohrian’s frame.

For the most part, Silas was very well rounded; it gave him a pleasant, overall plush sort of look. His face was cherubic, with round, red cheeks and a softened jawline that dipped into a double chin that looked all too natural on his kind face. It hadn’t taken too long after Kaze had ramped up his feedings for Silas’ upper body to sort of catch up to the rest of him; his upper arms still clung to a slight firmness, but that also might have simply been from how tightly they were squeezed into the sleeves of the shirt he was currently wearing, his now rather hefty looking moobs similarly looking quite confined in his struggling shirt. He hadn’t even bothered -- or couldn’t, a thought that delighted Kaze -- done up the laces at the front, which left some of that pale, fat titfflesh free to jostle for an escape attempt that was truly only hampered by whatever integrity was left of this formerly well-fitting piece of clothing.

Of course, as his eyes traveled lower, it was clear to see that the shirt was...much less of a shirt, and more of a crop top that was just adequate enough to contain his moobs. Because, really, gloriously, Silas’ gut could no longer be contained by something so trivial. His upper belly was round and almost taught -- likely from the large breakfast he’d spent a good two hours shoveling into his hoggish mouth -- becoming a perfect resting shelf for his squishy breasts. While his lower belly, separated from the upper by a swelling roll of fat, hung lower and softer on his expanded frame. It quite easily draped over the other man’s crotch, even while standing, and almost every heavy breath or lumbering movement made it wobble just so. Stretch mark covered love handles fought for room at his sides, perched precariously atop widened hips that had the most luscious curves to them thanks to plentiful food and all of the horse riding that had given him such a nice form to begin with.

His thighs were nothing short of powerfully built, even with the thick layer of lard that now encased them. And, my...his ass really was something to behold; a beautiful bubble butt, straining the ass of his trousers so dearly, Kaze felt like he could almost hear the seams splitting as they stood there.

“--So, do you...do you think you could help?”

The ninja blinked, coming out of his hungered staring to just catch the tail end of whatever Silas had been talking about.

“Yes, of course. I will do my best to aid you, my friend,” he responded swiftly, not even realizing what he was agreeing to until the other man dragged him over to the neatly organized set of his armor.

Oh. Oh, well now, this was better than he could have hoped, really. Silas had recruited him to do what he’d been desiring for months now.

“I’d do it myself, of course, but...uh, I’ve been having some recent trouble reaching around to some of the straps and buckles,” Silas chuckled nervously, his already flushed face seeming to go a deeper red at this admission.

Ah, so he’d finally noticed just how large his eating habits had made him? Fascinating that it had taken so long, but denial could be a powerful thing.

“It’s not a problem,” Kaze assured in a smooth tone of voice, waiting for Silas to start attempting to put on his armor. The breastplate and backplate came together via leather straps at the shoulders and sides, tightened and held in place by rather standard looking buckles. As Silas held the plate armor in place, Kaze tried to secure the straps. And, truly, he did try -- where was the fun if he didn’t get to see what an absolute mess the other man had made of himself with his lack of control, aided by his own pampering and spoiling with food and treats aplenty? He tugged on the straps as hard as he could, smiling softly to himself at the little noises Silas’ tried to stifle at the jostling and how the knuckles of his fingers couldn’t escape grazing or sinking into the warm flesh of the knight’s sides. If he pulled both sides tight enough, he could get the straps to touch, but nowhere near close enough to actually secure them with the buckle.

Kaze couldn’t resist pinching at the silver haired man’s love handles, apologizing and excusing it off as the metal from the buckle catching him by accident.

“It’s no use, is it…?” Silas sighed, cheeks puffing out just a little more from the simple act.

Kaze gave him a sympathetic look as he helped him remove the much outgrown piece of armor, his hand coming to pat the other on the back. “We can always get you refitted. It might have a slightly different style, but our blacksmiths are quite skilled; I’m sure they could replicate it to your tastes, if you so wish.”

The Nohrian seemed about to say something else, but Kaze chose now to make his kill, as it were. His tone and demeanor not shifting from gentle and comradely, he very brazenly brought a gloved hand to the other’s stomach, his thumb hooking easily into Silas’ navel as he grabbed a handful of chub and gave him an exploratory squeeze. It was just as soft as he’d imagined, but there was a firm layer to it too, if he dug his fingers in hard enough, that he found to be quite pleasant. A nice balance.

Humming softly to himself, Kaze continued his tactile exploration while urging them both forward in the direction of the mess hall. “I would greatly desire to see how long it would take you to outgrow a larger set of armor…”

If Silas could keep from giving in to Kaze’s offerings of food long enough to even have another set made before he ate his way out of it, that is.

Silas, sputtering and doing his best to keep up with the revelation, didn’t object to the idea nor did he fight against where Kaze was leading him.

#male weight gain #male wg #chubby!silas #kaze/silas #it was fun to kinda tap into that voyeuristic/secret feeding stuff #especially since kaze is such a bland good guy sort of character #i could totally see him having this habit of watching people #but hey i hope this is decent!#fates & the more recent games really arent in my wheelhouse #but i know fates better than 3h so i did the silas prompt over the raphael one

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duhragonball · 3 years

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Yamcha if you're still doing the character meme?

I am still doing these, and I’m enjoying it, so keep ‘em coming. Before I start, let me promote the original post, in case anyone else wants to start their own thing. I’d link to the OP, but I guess they deleted this from their blog, probably because their notifications went nuts.

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Let’s be honest, Yamcha doesn’t get a lot of big “hero moments” in Dragon Ball. Or Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT, or Dragon Ball Su-- Look, you get the idea. In most arcs, he’s the first one to get benched. In tournaments, he always loses in the first round. He spent the King Piccolo Saga recovering from a broken leg. Against the Saiyans, he was the first one to die. Against the Androids, he was nearly killed and had to sit out the rest of that arc. In the Buu Sagas he was retired. In a number of major storylines, he just isn’t there, because no one called him.

But he remains a fixture in the franchise anyway, because he’s always showing up for more. Let’s take the Buu Saga as an example. It didn’t surprise me to find out he had retired, mainly from a dramatic standpoint. There’s a lot of new characters in the Buu arc, and it made sense for some of the older characters to step aside and make room for them. But he’s still there, because he wants to see Goku one last time, and he wants to hang out with his friends and watch some of them kick the crap out of each other. It was kind of sad to see him stay behind while the others rushed off to follow the Supreme Kai, but he’s retired, after all. Also, they didn’t stop to fill him in on what was happening. I suspect he might have tagged along if they asked.

As it was, he still ended up getting involved, and he was with the Dragon Team right up until Super Buu cornered them on the Lookout. And the next time we see him, he’s on the Grand Kai Planet with Krillin, and King Kai seriously considers sending them in to take on Buu in case Goku and Vegeta can’t get the job done.

And that’s a big deal, because it even comes up in the anime. King Kai tells them that he arranged for them to keep their bodies as a precaution, but he’s totally in favor of letting them remain on the Grand Kai Planet with all of the other honored warriors, like Goku. So you start with this desert bandit, a highwayman without a highway, probably because he’s afraid of all the women that use the interstate. But he gradually overcomes his fears and insecurities, never completely, but just enough to put one foot in front of the other and become a better man. And finally he ends up receiving a place among the great heroes of old.

So why doesn’t that get more attention? You could make a whole epic story out of that, except it’s not Yamcha’s story. He’s a supporting character. So the franchise itself tends to play it down. Even Yamcha doesn’t really take it all that seriously. I don’t know if that’s modesty or cluelessness or Big Himbo Energy or what, but that’s why it’s so easy for everyone to write him off as a loser or a failure. They’re overlooking the bigger picture.

youtube

The best way to illustrate this is with this TFS short that serves as an epilogue to their DBZ Abridged series. Yamcha goes back to playing baseball for the Taitans, only to get fired, because he’s so talented that he’s literally broken the game, and no one buys tickets anymore. But he gets a gigantic severance package, and he still goes down in history as the greatest ballplayer in history. What always gets to me is that they have to explain to him that this is actually a win. As his coach puts it, “you do nothing but win.”

Like Yamcha himself, we often see him from the lens of these insane Dragon Ball adventures, where you have to have glowy hair and a hot cyborg wife to be considered a success. But to the rest of the world, he’s a jacked up millionaire with fantastic hair, and he’s a real sweetheart. Who couldn’t like this dude?

Why I don’t: As you may have noticed, I tend to only use this section to talk about why I disliked the characters initially. I have to think back to 1999 when I was still having trouble keeping track of who’s who. In particular, I found Yamcha’s presence frustrating because he looked and dressed almost exactly like Goku, but not quite, which seemed bizarre. Later, I picked up on the context, and it didn’t bother me as much.

Yamcha does have a bit of an overconfident streak in some situations, which might look like unfounded arrogance, but I think it’s really just his carefree nature and enthusiastic can-do spirit. He was confident about their chances against the Saiyans, but I don’t think that was him being cocky. He just knew they had all trained hard and he was stronger than he’d ever been. But that’s easy for people to jump on as a reason to hate the guy.

Future Trunks claimed that he fooled around while he was involved with Bulma, but come on. Does anyone really buy that? Besides, at best, that would only apply to Future Yamcha, the one who died in the other timeline. Once Trunks changed the past, all bets were off.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m gonna get a little nuts here and go with TFS’s playthrough of Legacy of Goku I, where they decided to level up Yamcha and have him solo Broly.

youtube

Basically, in an RPG game like this, Wolf Fang Fist can do monster damage, so they maxed out Yamcha’s stats to wreck the game’s hidden superboss. You have to skip to 1:40:00 or so to see the successful attempt, but I loved this video. This is where I learned to respect the utterance of “Roga... fufuken!” Broly probably would have respected it, too, except he died from all those hits he took.

Favorite season/movie: You know, that fight with Tien was a classic. Not sure it’s in my top ten, but it’s on a lot of people’s lists, and I absolutely get that.

Dumb as it may sound, I enjoyed seeing Yamcha in the hospital, wrestling with his own despair as he recuperated from his broken leg. And when he shows up at the end to congratulate Tien and accepts Tien’s apology, well, like I said, Yamcha has this great character arc, but it’s easy to overlook with everything else that goes on.

Favorite line: I forget which game it was in, maybe Budokai 3, but one of his pre-fight taunts is “Watch this, Puar! I’m gonna win!”, which always makes me think of Puar sitting just off-camera, watching the action from a little lawn chair.

Favorite outfit:

I may take some heat for this, but I like the Androids/Cell Saga version of Yamcha, with the short, spiky hair. This dude’s long, luxurious rockstar ‘do is a national treasure, sure, but I dig this look more.

Also, I consider Yamcha to be the only guy from the Turtle School who pulls off the slippers and no-blue-undershirt look. It looks off when I see it on Krillin and Goku, but with Yamcha it just feels right.

OTP: This guy gets shipped with a lot of people, probably because he’s one of the major characters without an established love interest. Folks still carry a torch for Bulma, some people ship him with Tien, Frieza hit on him in FighterZ, and I’m still trying to make sense of that. He flirts with your character in the Xenoverse games. Years ago, I considered doing something with that, but I’ve fleshed out my OC enough to where I don’t think that fits.

At the end of the day, I can only see Yamcha getting together with @cozymochi ‘s OC, Marzi.

Brotp: Tien, Krillin, Goku. Hell, I always figured Yamcha was one of the few people Vegeta could get along with to some extent.

I mean, Tien couldn’t stand to be one the same planet as Vegeta, but Yamcha keeps coming over to have hot dogs at Bulma’s place, long after the Namekians have left.

Head Canon: He’s Luffa’s type, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t see any room in my fic for a whirlwind courtship. The stars just don’t align.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not really behind this notion that they should give the humans more stuff to do in future series. When it comes to supporting characters, sometimes they get phased out, and there’s no point in phasing them back in unless there’s a compelling story idea for them.

I think it’s dumb how they teased Yamcha in the Tournament of Power prelude, only to leave him out of the tournament itself. On the other hand, they put Tien on the team and barely used him, which tells me that even if they’d put Yamcha on the team, it wouldn’t have amounted to anything.

I get it, people love these characters and want to see them used more, but I’d rather have one strong Yamcha story than a hundred non-starters. And at this point, I think the only thing anyone can do is rely on fan-created content. Be the change you want to see in the world.

A wish: Crap, it’s after ten pm. I dunno, I wish Marzi was canon.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I feel like the character’s already been through worse than I could come up with for him.

5 words to best describe them: Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah. That’s six, but who cares?

My nickname for them: Yeah, I don’t have one.

#ask duhragonball #dragon ball #yamcha #yamucha #Anonymous

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chemicalmagecraft · 4 years

Text

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 20

We were gathered back in the arena field. Midnight explained to us how the next part of the sports festival would go. For the teams who won the cavalry battle, there was the combat tournament. The rules were simple. In each fight, we had to either incapacitate our opponents or remove them from the arena. And before the tournament, there would be other games that everyone could participate in. Even the tournament combatants could attend them, but Midnight-sensei suggested we not do that, because we should conserve our stamina. That really wasn't an issue for me, but I decided not to participate in those battles because it could be unfair to the others. Before we drew lots to see our placement, Ojiro raised his hand. "I'd like to withdraw from the tournament!" he declared.

"Oh?" Midnight said. "What brought this on? You do realize you're probably going to miss out on a chance to be scouted, right?"

He grimaced. "I don't even remember the cavalry battle. I don't want to move on to the tournament if I didn't even really do anything."

"Whoa, that's so manly!" Kirishima yelled.

The other member of Team Shinsou, Nirengeki from class 1-B, raised his hand. "I'd also like to withdraw, for the same reason..."

Midnight grinned. "I like your spirit! Alright, you two are out of the tournament! Now we need to get some students to replace them!"

After that, it was agreed that Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu and Shiozaki Ibara from 1-B would take their places. We all drew the lots, deciding who we'd fight and in what order. It was just my luck that I was in the first match against Shinsou. And then I'd probably have to face off against Todoroki after winning that...

"Midoriya, right?" someone asked me from behind. I turned to see Shinsou.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Ojiro's tail wrapped around my face before I could. "Don't say anything," he cautioned me. Shinsou snorted.

I removed Ojiro's tail from my face. "Because of his Quirk, right?" I asked. Shinsou stiffened. "If I had to guess, it's a mental Quirk. Some sort of mind control, tied to... people responding to something you say?"

He sighed. "Yeah, that's about right..."

"It sounds amazing for hero work. Too bad the entrance exam was robots, huh?"

Shinsou stared at me incredulously. "You... don't think my Quirk is villainous?"

I shrugged. "Quirks aren't really villainous. Well, if you have a sentient Quirk like Tokoyami's Dark Shadow that actively wants to be a villain then you could make that argument, but Quirks are normally controlled by the user. They're tools." I pointed at him. "If you use your Quirk for hero work then you have a hero's Quirk, and if you use your Quirk for villainy, then you have a villain's Quirk. Still, your Quirk would let you deescalate hostage situations and other villain attacks without having to fight, and even if you have to fight then there's always the possibility of a villain slipping up in the middle of battle. To be honest, I'd place a mind-controlling Quirk like yours pretty high on the list of Quirks I'd like if I didn't have mine."

Shinsou's face softened. "You know, Midoriya, you're the first person I've met who didn't call my Quirk villainous."

"You should probably sue your Quirk counselor for malpractice, then."

He chuckled, then turned around. "You're a good man, Midoriya. I won't bother you again."

"Wait." He stopped. "I think it's only fair if you know a few things about me. First, there's a pretty good chance, depending on how our Quirks work, that your Quirk won't affect me right or might even just fail to work on me."

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"My Quirk, The Gamer, works somewhat along the lines of RPG logic, meaning that among other things I have passive skills that grant me various affects," I explained. "One of them is Gamer's Mind, which came with my Quirk. It says that I have immunity to psychological status effects."

"I... see."

"I mean, I'll try not to get hit by your Quirk anyway because that's very unspecific, but I just thought you should know. I also have two other passives I think you should know about, Physical Endurance and Damage Reduction."

"So let me guess, physical attacks are useless on you."

"Not useless, but they do so little that to you it might as well be. Magical attacks aren't included in Physical Endurance, so comparatively speaking that's my weakness."

He sighed. "I guess I know what I'll be doing during the break."

I Observed him. "You have affinity for the sonic element, by the way. I'm guessing it's either because of your voice-based Quirk, or if any of your relatives have a more traditional sound Quirk, or maybe both?"

"So I have sound magic?" he asked. I nodded. "Good to know. Thanks, Midoriya."

"Was that really a good idea?" Ojiro asked after he walked away.

"Even with what I told him, he's probably not going to beat me, considering our stats and abilities," I said. "And if he displays more than just dependence on a powerful supporting Quirk, then he's more likely to get in the hero program."

"I guess..."

xoxoxo

"Seriously, are you two fucking dating yet?" Kacchan asked Tsu and Uraraka now that we were in the stands watching the pre-tournament game.

"What makes you think that?" Tsu asked, blushing slightly.

Kacchan raised an eyebrow. "Fucking seriously?"

Uraraka hid her blush behind Tsu's hair. It was easy to do, between Tsu having a lot of hair and the fact that Tsu was literally sitting on Uraraka's lap and snuggling up against her. "In my defense, I like body heat because I'm a frog," Tsu muttered.

Kacchan shrugged. "Sure, why not?" He then turned his attention back to me. He knocked on his seat in the passcode, so I invited him to my party.

acridThermogenesis: hey dont be mad

acridThermogenesis: but i may or may not have eavespropped on your conversation with half and half

acridThermogenesis: *eavesdropped

acridThermogenesis: what the actual fuck is my name deku

I sighed. I really should have noticed him. Actually, one of my elementals should have told me he was there.

conjuringGamer: Don't eavesprop on other people's private conversations, Kacchan!

conjuringGamer: This is your punishment!

acridThermogenesis: oh fuck you and your stupid references

conjuringGamer: How, exactly, do you get what this is a reference to anyway?

acridThermogenesis: fuck

acridThermogenesis: you

acridThermogenesis: and why the fuck did you never tell me that you were related to the ex number two hero

conjuringGamer: WDTAU

acridThermogenesis: the fuck

conjuringGamer: We Don't Talk About Undertow

acridThermogenesis:

acridThermogenesis: fair enough

acridThermogenesis: and in my defense

acridThermogenesis: half and half has been glaring at you for gucking ever

acridThermogenesis: 8fucking

acridThermogenesis: **fucking

acridThermogenesis: fuck why cant i type today

conjuringGamer: You do realize you used to be worse to me, right?

conjuringGamer: And I can certainly handle myself against Todoroki in a fight, if that's what you were worried about.

conjuringGamer: Or I could've just ran with Illusion Barrier.

acridThermogenesis: shit i dont know man

acridThermogenesis: stop busting my nub or whatever the fuck trolls say

acridThermogenesis: im sorry

acridThermogenesis: fuck it ill say it without the stupid accent so you know im serious

acridThermogenesis: I'm sorry, Deku.

conjuringGamer: Don't worry, I forgive you.

conjuringGamer: I was just messing with you.

acridThermogenesis: WELL DUCK YOU THEN

acridThermogenesis: fuck

acridThermogenesis *FUCK

I chuckled a bit. Annoying Kacchan was fun sometimes.

Uraraka Ochako: Um.

Hatsume Mei: Well this is awkward

Tokoyami Fumikage: I Think You 4cawt To 4emove Us 4om 4 Pa4ty, Mid4iya.

"Duck," Kacchan muttered.

"What?" Tsu asked. Uraraka snickered, then spat out a long strand of green hair.

xoxoxo

I walked down the corridor to the stadium. It was time for the first match. I took a deep breath, then felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see All Might in his emaciated form. "Good luck, young Midoriya."

I nodded. "Thank you, All Might." I turned back to the opening and walked into the stadium.

"AND ON ONE SIDE," Mic-sensei shouted over the roar of the crowd, "WE HAVE THE KING OF MAGIC, MIDORIYA IZUKU!" I walked up to the stage and saw Shinsou emerge from the other side of the stadium. "AND ON THE OTHER, WE HAVE THE ONLY STUDENT FROM GEN ED TO MAKE IT TO THE THIRD ROUND! MASTER OF THE MIND, SHINSOOOOU HITOSHI!" I looked at Shinsou's level.

Give 'Em Hell, Kid

LV 19

Shinsou Hitoshi

"No hard feelings, right Midoriya?" he asked me. I shook my head, careful not to talk. To be honest I was looking forward to seeing what he'd thought of for me.

"WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, LET'S START!"

Shinsou smirked. The roar of the crowd died away, replaced by a ringing in my ears. He started to walk forward, and I heard the sound of his footsteps over the ringing. It was very loud, almost like the sound was reverberating all around me. Before I could react, I felt like all my sense of balance was lost, and I had an extreme feeling of nausea. I clutched my stomach, trying my best not to topple over. "Neat, huh?" he asked me, his voice amplified like the sound of his footsteps. I grimaced. My head was swimming. "I got the idea from my mother's Quirk. She can disturb people's inner ears with the sound of her voice, making them disoriented. I figured I could mimic that with sound magic. Judging from your reaction, I did pretty well."

I braced myself on an air platform and gathered my thoughts. It looked like he was taking his time moving because he had to concentrate on the spell, but it seemed like he was starting to get more comfortable, so that might change soon. Tactician told me that the effect the spell had on me manifested in the status effect Dizzy. I used Healing Hands on my head, causing the nausea and balance loss to fade. The ringing stayed, though. It felt more like it was the medium for Dizzy than a part of it. "Sonia," I thought.

"No use, Izuku," she replied. "Can't work with magic sound."

"Yeah, I figured it wouldn't be that easy." I kept up the Healing Hands with my left hand, though I knew that that meant I couldn't use it for any magic aside from the healing spell.

"It looks like you figured out a way around that. I wonder if you can keep it up while fighting me, though." He raised his hand and snapped his fingers at me. I Flash Stepped out of the way of the resulting shockwave thanks to the improved reaction time my high DEX gave me, but crashed into the ground when I was struck with Dizzy again in midair. I groaned. Flash Stepping shouldn't have caused Healing Hands to fail... "Looks like your healing spell can't keep up with it when you go that fast."

"That's probably it," I muttered as I started to get up. I noticed my mistake when the ringing in my ears stopped. For a second I felt very faint, like I was about to pass out. I almost fell back down. The feeling passed after a second, with a popup saying that the status effect Brainwashed had failed to affect me because of Gamer's Mind. "Ah."

Shinsou smirked. "So you are immune to my Quirk, but it still stuns you for a second." The ringing returned, and with it Dizzy. I noticed that my Healing Hands had slipped when Shinsou tried to use his Quirk on me. I put them back up, keeping both hands up this time.

"Limit Break!" I shouted, the glow of my Healing Hands getting brighter. "Healing Fists!" I jumped at Shinsou.

"Wait, what?" Shinsou said, then just barely managed to duck out of the way of my punch. The effort broke the spell, making my hearing return to normal. "Right, that's it." He took a deep breath and screamed at me with sonic magic. The shockwave hit me dead-on, blowing me back a bit even though I'd braced myself. I retaliated with a blast of wind strong enough to blow him to the edge of the arena. With a small gesture, I had Dune shift the ground under him, dumping him out of bounds. "Dammit."

"THE MATCH IS OVER!" Mic-sensei shouted. "Man, what was up with Midoriya? Did he eat a bad omelette or something?"

"If I had to guess, Shinsou did something," Aizawa-sensei said. "He either found a new use for his Quirk or made some sort of disorienting spell."

"If it was magic, wouldn't there have been some sorta glow?"

"Not all magic glows, Mic. You know this. You've literally used non-glowing magic."

I walked over to Shinsou. "Sorry about that," I said as I offered him my hand.

He took it and pulled himself up. "I'll consider it payback for the ear assault. Speaking of which, how're your ears? Would probably suck if I deafened you."

I gave him a thumbs-up. "I'm good, thanks to my Healing Hands. Though you might want to test it again with me or Shuzenji-sensei around, if you're really worried about that."

He nodded. "Probably a good idea."

xoxoxo

After making sure that Shinsou wasn't hurt from when I knocked him down, I went back to the section of the stands where class 1-A was supposed to sit. Ojiro was waiting for me by the door. "Midoriya!" he shouted. "Are you okay?"

I grinned. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Deku!" Kacchan shouted from his seat. "The fuck was that?"

"Shinsou can use sonic magic now," I told him, then sat down next to him. "What you saw was him wreaking havoc on my inner ears."

"Damn." He chuckled. "So that was probably more difficult than your next fight's gonna be."

"What do you mean be that?"

Kacchan snorted. "We both know that between your ungodly physical defense and your elemental magic, the only person in the tournament who can match you in a straight fight is me, maybe also Uraraka but I'm gonna fucking destroy her. Half'n'half-"

"His name is Todoroki," I reminded him.

Kacchan rolled his eyes. "Todoroki might come close if he actually applies himself, but all he's really done is throw ice around. I'm guessing from what we already know about magic and Quirks that while Half'n'half's Quirk has ice magic acting to freeze shit, the ice itself isn't magical, meaning you can use an elemental on it easy. And even if not, can he really fucking put up with your bullshit as well as I can?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right..."

"And even though Tape Dispenser-"

"Sero."

"-might have a chance of winning against Half'n'half, can he even do a fucking thing to you?"

I thought about that for a moment. "It's probably arrogant of me to say that there's no way for him to beat me, but it isn't really likely, is it?"

"No fucking chance of that happening. Now shut up, the match is about to start."

Todoroki and Sero walked into the arena. As soon as the match started, Sero shot tape at Todoroki, wrapping him up. It looked like he was about to throw him, but...

Todoroki, without even moving, created the biggest wall of ice I'd ever seen with his Quirk, obstructing my view of the arena. It was so big that it cast a shadow over half the stadium, and Mifuyu told me the ice actually extended far above the top of the stadium. I scowled, my breath fogging up from how close the ice was to my face. "Kacchan," I ordered.

"Right." He summoned Pyra, and they started warming up the suddenly very cold area with light streams of fire. "You might wanna keep the water from drippin' on anyone, Tsu," Kacchan suggested.

Tsu just shivered and sluggishly buried her head in Uraraka's chest. "K-kero..." Uraraka wrapped her arms around her gently.

"Fuck. Right, you're a frog..." Kacchan sighed, then sent a few more flame strings around Tsu. "Deku, can you leave your water elemental here?"

I nodded, summoned Rayne, then slapped the metal railing meant to prevent us from falling onto the field. A microsecond's worth of Lightning Embodiment later, and I was on the other side of the railing and far enough to the left that I didn't crash face-first into ice. I stormed up to the arena, but looked toward Midnight before actually getting up on it. She was iced over...

"G-g-go r-right ahead, M-M-Midoriya," she shivered. I nodded and summoned Mifuyu and Blaise, who started helping Midnight, then stomped over to Todoroki.

"That was excessive, even for you!" I shouted, then shoved him away from Sero, who he was trying to melt out of the ice. With a gesture, I ejected him from the ice, grabbed him, then started warming him up. I checked up his sleeves and pant legs with probably a little more force than was actually necessary to make sure he didn't have any frostbite, then turned back to Todoroki when Blaise took over warming Sero up. "You do realize that your ice can kill, right?" He looked remorseful. Good.

"I was going to thaw him..."

I sighed. "I don't just mean Sero."

He tilted his head. "What?"

I stared at him incredulously for a moment before waving my hand in the general direction of the giant iceberg in the middle of the stadium.

"I'm aware that I used a bit too much force, but I made sure to stop the ice before it reached the audience."

"And if you didn't?" I demanded. "If you overdid it so much as a bit more, then people would have died. Hell, if anyone in the audience has a Quirk that makes them more susceptible to the cold, then they could be going into shock as we speak! I've got an elemental keeping an eye on Tsu, and Kacchan's keeping everyone warm, but that's still an issue!"

Todoroki blinked. "Oh."

"Why did you do that?"

"I was annoyed from talking to my father, and I took it out on Sero. I apologize."

I clenched my fist. "Limit Break: Sublimation," I intoned. My arm buzzed with One for All, and steam rose from it. Without even looking away from Todoroki, I swung my arm back, shattering the iceberg into powder with a combination of ice magic and sheer force. The powder was quickly vaporized by the vapor magic I'd also put into my punch. "I sympathize with you Todoroki, I really do. But if this is the way you're going to act then I'm going to beat you." With that said, I turned around and walked through the mist I'd created to get back to my seat. With DEX only a little out of human bounds, I vaulted up the wall to the stands, nimbly pivoting on the railing and landing back in the chair I was sitting in before.

"Damn, Deku," Kacchan whistled.

"How's Tsu?" I asked Uraraka.

Uraraka stroked Tsu's hair gently. "Tsu-chan fell asleep. Should I wake her?"

I shook my head. "It's probably best to let her sleep, at least for now." I turned back to Kacchan and Observed him. "Do you need me to restore your MP?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Normally I wouldn't take you up on that, but I've seen Uraraka training and I'm pretty sure that if she was one hundred percent and I wasn't then I would fucking lose."

Uraraka beamed. "Wow, Kacchan! That was basically a compliment! And it wasn't backhanded or anything."

Kacchan rolled his eyes, though he had a small grin on his face. "Fuck you, Round Face."

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #The Gamer Hero Deku #Gamer Hero Deku #GHD CH20

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thetravelerwrites · 6 years

Text

Daughters (A Stranger Things Drabble)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: Stranger Things Words: 1855

One of my few non-terato related stories, about a year and a half old. This is a stand alone fic about Hopper showing Eleven the birth certificate from Dr. Owens and explaining what it means. Hopper opens up about his lost daughter, Sara. Feedback is appreciated.

Eleven sat on the couch covered in a thick blanket, watching a particularly old western that made very little sense to her, when she heard the special knock on the door.

Without taking her eyes off of the T.V., she reached out mentally and snapped open the four slide locks and the deadbolt with little effort. She heard Hopper enter the cabin, tap his boots against the door frame, and shut the door, though she didn’t turn to look at him. He had gone on his off-day without telling her why, and that, in her experience, was never a good thing. She was a little apprehensive to learn what exactly he’d been up to while he was away.

He stepped around the couch to turn the T.V. off and then sat down beside her, laying two envelopes on the coffee table. One was slim and white, and the second was big, brown, and overflowing.

“What’s that?” Eleven asked, nodding her head at them.

He didn’t answer right away. He sat hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his mustache with his right hand, looking down at the brown envelope.

“I went to see Dr. Owens today,” Hopper mumbled from behind his hand.

Eleven’s heart rate accelerated in alarm.

“Bad man,” Eleven said in a nervous whisper.

“Nah, he ain’t all bad,” Hopper said. “He had something for me. Well, it’s for both of us, actually.” He reached for the white envelope and handed it to her. She took it gingerly.

Opening it, she pulled out a blue paper with writing she didn’t understand. “‘Cert…certificate of birth?’ What does that mean?”

“It’s a paper the parents get when a baby is born. Then when that baby gets old enough, they keep it. It’s proof.”

“Proof of what?”

“Life. Existence.” Hopper turned to her. “It shows who your parents are, where you came from.“ He pointed. “It’s also got a social security number.”

“What’s that for?”

“In American, you have to have a social security number to do just about anything. Go to school, get a job, etc. That number is your whole life.”

She frowned at the digits on the page, then the ones on her arm. “Another number.”

“Yeah,” Hopper laughed. “We all got ‘em, kid. I guess most of us are lucky that it’s not our name, too.” He jerked his chin at the paper. “Keep reading.”

“‘This certifies that in the state of Indiana, Jane Hop…’” She looked up at him. “Hopper?”

He nodded solemnly.

“‘Was born in Hawkins, child of Teresa Ives, Mother, and James Hopper… Father.” She looked back at him and lowered the paper, though still clutched it in her fingers. “I don’t understand. What does this mean?”

“Means it’s official,” Hopper said. “We’re family. You’re kinda stuck with me now. Sorry ‘bout that.”

She shook her head, but didn’t say anything. She was feeling a lot of things she hadn’t experienced before and couldn’t properly name, and was having difficulty sorting through them. She stared hard at the paper for a few minutes. Hopper watched her quietly; he seemed to be giving her space to process all this and room to react. Perhaps preparing for a storm, if she wasn’t happy about the arrangement.

After a few minutes, she folded the paper again and gave it back, which he placed on the table next to the large brown envelope.

“What is that?” She asked.

Again, he didn’t answer immediately, and when he did, it was with a very heavy sigh.

“Well... since we’re family now, I figured I should introduce you two.”

He reached into the brown envelope and pulling out everything that was inside it. There were drawings, old elementary work sheets, coloring pages, but most of it was pictures. Sifting through, he extracted a photograph of a small, blonde-haired, blue-eyed child, wearing a frilly blue dress, smiling widely. Her curly hair was pulled up into two pigtails with aqua blue bands.

“Is that Sara?” Eleven asked tentatively.

Hopper nodded. “This was her first grade class photo. Just a month or two before everything went to shit.” He found another photo, in this one, Hopper was sitting with Sara and a blonde haired, blue-eyed woman who strongly resembled Sara. Hopper was clean-shaven in the picture, and they were all smiling.

Eleven pointed to the woman.

“That’s Diane,” Hopper said. “We were married. Then Sara died. Then we weren’t married anymore.”

“Why?”

“My fault mostly,” Hopper said, staring at the picture. “She wanted to move on, try and get her life back, but I couldn’t let go. I started drinkin’, lost my job because I stopped showing up, all kinds of things that she quite understandably didn’t want to deal with. I wouldn’t have wanted to deal with me, either.”

“Where is she?”

“Philadelphia. She got remarried a few years ago, had herself a new little baby boy. She’s doing good. She’s happy.”

He reached into the pile of papers and drew out another certificate, like the one Hopper got from Owens, but from a different state. The name on the top line was “Sara.”

“She’d be your sister,” He said, staring at the type font as though he couldn’t see anything else. “She’d have loved a sister.”

The emotions that had been swirling in Eleven’s body had settled, and of the remaining ones, the most prominent was sorrow. “What was she like?”

Hopper’s chin shook, and she thought he might not be able to talk about it, but he said, “She was so smart. Smarter than me. Got it from her mom, I guess. She’s so interested in science and space and all that stuff.” He plucked at the aqua blue bracelet around his wrist. A tear fell from his eye and disappeared into his beard.

“She was gonna grow up to be a paleontologist and also an astronaut doctor. Not an astronaut that was also a doctor, a doctor that only treated astronauts.“ He smiled. “She was gonna have thirty kids, but she wasn’t gonna get married cause boys were gross. She was going to do so many things.” More tears fell, and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. “She never got the chance to do anything.”

Emotions can be infectious, especially when the person exhibiting them was so stoic and self-contained ordinarily. Eleven could feel tears on her own cheeks as Hopper spoke.

“Her birthday was April 17th,” He said. “She would have been seven if she had made it that long. She nearly made it.” The tears were falling freely now. He didn’t even attempt to wipe them away. Eleven wondered if he had ever said these things to anyone. She knew vaguely that most people in town didn’t even know he had had a daughter.

“A few months after, I came home and Diane was packing up Sara’s room. Just pulling down everything and stuffing it into boxes. I asked what she was doing… and she said she was donating it. That she couldn’t stand looking at it all every day. And I got so… angry. It was like she was just throwing her away and I couldn’t believe she could do that. I over-did it a little; I yelled a lot, started throwing things. That’s when she kicked me out for the last time. That,” He pointed to the pile. “Was all I managed to save. That’s all that’s left of Sara.

“Well,” He said, “That and this.” He pulled the bracelet off of his wrist and toyed with it a little. ”She used to wear these stretchy blue hair bands, like, every day. She had all kinds of different bows and hair things she could’ve worn, but she always wanted these.

“One day, while she was on chemo, she pulled them out so she could take a bath, and all her hair came with them. After that, she couldn’t wear them anymore. I was going to throw them away, but she made them into a little bracelet and had me wear it. She said she wanted to save them for when her hair grew back.”

His face crumpled. Holding the little blue bracelet in both hands, he pressed it against his forehead and wept.

Eleven pulled herself up to her knees and hugged Hopper around the shoulders, crying into his neck. They stayed that way for some time.

When Eleven drew back, inexplicably, the blue bracelet was now circling her wrist. She looked at Hopper questioningly as she reached to pull it off.

He stopped her. “No, you should have it,” He said. “She’d want you to have it. I want you to have it, too. We’re family now.”

She smiled and her lip quivered. She nodded and looked at the bracelet. A tenuous connection to a sister she’d never meet. She looked at the two certificated on the table.

“Sara was your daughter,” Eleven said slowly, carefully. “Does this mean that I am, too?”

“Yeah,” He said, regaining composure. “That’s exactly what that paper means. You’re my daughter. I’m your dad. Officially.”

“Just officially?” Eleven said.

Hopper shook his head. “No, not just officially. If you want, it could be for real.”

“For real,” Eleven repeated. “Not like Papa.”

“No, not like Papa,” Hopper said seriously. “I know he wanted you to call him that, but was there ever a time when he called you his daughter? Treated you like a dad is supposed to?”

Eleven shook her head emphatically.

“No, because he doesn’t even know what it means. I doubt he’s ever really loved anything. Certainly not you.” Hopper looked down at the two certificates. “I loved Sara. And I love you, too, kid.”

Eleven had never once in her entire life heard those words. The swirl of emotions was back, but this time, the most out-standing one was joy. Incapable of speech, all she could do was smile and cry.

Hopper reached out an arm and Eleven hugged him around the middle, resting her head on his chest. He squeezed her tight with both arms and planted a peck on the top of her head. After some time had passed, they let go of each other, but she took his hand and held it. They both needed the comfort of touch right then.

Eleven dared to picked up a drawing and asked Hopper what it meant. He told her it was supposed to be a dog-velociraptor, laughing. It went on like this for several hours: Eleven would choose something from the pile, and Hopper would explain what it was; tell little, loving stories about Sara’s brief life, and then he would put it back into the envelope.

When they had gone through the entirety of the pictures and papers, all that was left were the two certificates sitting side by side on the table. The only thing they had in common was the line, “James Hopper: Father.” He folded them and put them both in the brown envelope and sealed it. This wasn’t just old memories anymore. It was proof, just like Hopper had said. The love of a man for his daughters.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Stranger things #Stranger things 2 #eleven #jane ives #jane hopper #jim hopper #chief hopper #chief jim hopper

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doggonneit · 7 years

Text

The Last Red Scribble | Part 1/2

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing/Characters: Kuroo/Tsukishima

Rating: T for Teen

Warnings: Single Parent AU

A.N. This is a part of the KuroTsuki Gift Exchange 2017, written for @moonislander on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!

Italics is Tsukishima. Bold is Kuroo.

[Read on AO3]

Monday PM

(2:33) I’m about to slam my head into the wall. (2:33) Tobio got into another fight. (2:34) He’s fucking five, how does he keep picking fights.

(2:35) what a champ

(2:35) What the fuck, Akiteru. (2:35) You’re not supposed to say that.

(2:36) wrong number bud but legit (2:36) tobios got a future in cage fighting (2:36) whos tobio

(2:38) Oh, sorry. Wrong number.

(2:40) well dont leave me hanging (2:40) i need to know who to put my money on in the future

(2:41) Don’t make this weirder than it already is.

(2:41) :)))))

(2:42) Tobio’s my son.

(2:43) are you an old man (2:43) is that why you started texting me (2:44) STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER

(2:45) What the fuck, no. (2:46) I messed up my brother’s new number. (2:46) Evidently.

(2:46) eviDENTly (2:47) arent you all smart and proper (2:47) thats how i like em

(2:49) Are you seriously flirting with me over text? (2:49) You don’t know stranger danger at all. (2:50) I don’t have time for this.

(2:53) :((((( (2:55) come back

(2:56) I have to deal with my son.

(2:56) what an adulty adult (2:57) tell tobio hes a fucken champ

Tuesday AM

(7:22) sooo (7:22) i know your brothers name and your sons name (7:22) but not your name

(7:25) …

(7:25) hint hint

(7:26) Have you seen the latest stranger danger campaign? (7:26) It’s got your face all over it.

(7:27) you think youre being funny but my mates crack jokes about my ugly mug making children cry (7:28) would tobio cry if he ever saw me

(7:30) He doesn’t even know what you look like.

(7:31) *image attached*

(7:34) I really don’t have time for this. I’m getting Tobio ready for school.

(7:35) if life were a party youd be the clown that sucks all the fun away (7:35) XP

(7:36) Why are you making that face?

(7:36) you hurt my feelings so im sticking my tongue out at you

(7:38) No-one uses that emoji for hurt feelings.

(7:39) i just did (7:39) XP (7:39) oh look i just did it again (7:39) XP (7:39) and again look at me go

(7:42) All right, all right, I’ll ask. (7:44) Tobio says you look like you killed a cat.

(7:44) how does someone even look like that (7:44) your son needs glasses (7:45) what do you think then (7:45) smouldering eyes wicked grin (7:45) admit it im pretty

(7:46) Yeah, pretty atrocious. (7:46) What’s with that hair?

(7:47) HI THIS IS KUROOS BEST FREIDN FOERVER BOKUTO PLS DONT METNION HIS BEHDEAD IT MAKES HM SELF CONSCOIUS

(7:47) Aww. Is Kuroo sulking now?

(7:47) sajfkdsjp (7:47) asdffhajlkkasdfghijkl

(7:48) I feel like I should be concerned. (7:50) I am actually concerned.

(7:51) how do i get rid of a body

(7:51) What.

(7:51) how do i (7:51) get rid of (7:51) a body

(7:51) Cook him and serve him to the police who knock on your door asking for his whereabouts.

(7:52) babe thats brilliant (7:52) youre a committed accomplice now

(7:52) On a scale of 1-10, how often do you hit on nameless and faceless strangers over the phone?

(7:52) 1 (7:53) its only ever been you (7:53) *heart emoji*

(7:53) I’m flattered.

(7:53) we have a dilemma (7:54) you know my name and my face (7:54) ive lost the advantage (7:54) who are you o mysterious phone man

(7:54) You really want to know?

(7:55) yes!!

(7:55) Well (7:55) My name is (7:55) *middle finger emoji*

(7:56) i am (7:56) fucking betrayed (7:56) my own accomplice

(7:57) :)))))

Wednesday PM

(4:17) *image attached* (4:17) fight gloves for tobio when he grows up lololol

(4:20) Don’t even joke about that.

(4:21) did he get into another fight (4:21) whatd he do steal another kids party pie

(4:22) He ruined someone’s sandcastle.

(4:22) that punk

(4:22) He also threw the bucket at their head and made them cry.

(4:23) holy shit (4:23) i know you cant see but im pissing myself laughing

(4:23) That’s the second time this month. (4:24) Is he going for a new record? How concerned should I be? (4:24) I should ask my brother for advice.

(4:24) okay but in all seriousness (4:25) dont kids usually act out because theyre upset about things

(4:26) Yep.

(4:26) you sound like you know whats going on

(4:27) Yep.

(4:27) is the thing not an easy fix

(4:28) Tobio can’t exactly move back into his old neighbourhood and old school.

(4:28) ohhh (4:28) i get that totally been there (4:29) though that happened to me in middle school so i handled it differently

(4:30) You mean you didn’t stomp on sandcastles and throw buckets at people’s heads? (4:30) Shocking.

(4:31) real mature of me ayy (4:31) but its chill tobio just needs time to adjust

(4:32) He’s been living with me for four months already.

(4:33) hes trying to survive a new environment (4:33) go easy on him

(4:35) All good and well until he accidentally kills one of his classmates.

(4:35) what could he possibly do (4:35) nah dont answer that

(4:36) You’re not inspiring much confidence right now.

(4:37) okay hows this (4:38) the most dangerous thing in a school is a pencil (4:38) if he stabs it through someones eye (4:38) what are the chances of a five year old having that good of an aim

(4:39) We could be surprised.

(4:40) lets give tobio the benefit of the doubt (4:40) have i brought your fears to rest or nah

(4:50) You’re interesting to talk to, I’ll give you that.

(4:50) is that why youve kept talking to me despite the anonymous and rather suspicious nature of our relationship

(4:50) Sure.

(4:51) *heart eyes emoji*

Thursday PM

(6:44) ive been thinking

(6:46) Make sure you give yourself a break every ten minutes. We wouldn’t want to strain your mental capabilities.

(6:47) hush child i got something to say (6:47) about tobio sort of

(6:48) I’m listening.

(6:49) so yesterdays conversation made me go all introspective (6:49) and if all tobios doing is throwing things (6:50) the lil guy will go far in life (6:50) i mean when i was five i was eating sand

(6:51) Congratulations, you just tripped over the lowest bar society set for its most basic standards.

(6:51) savage i love it (6:52) bokuto just called me a masochist (6:52) he doesnt even know what that means i bet he learned it from akaashi

(6:54) … (6:55) Who’s Akaashi?

(6:55) the most beautiful man to grace the earth and bokutos boyfriend (6:55) im not even kidding his face was sculpted by gods (6:56) *image attached*

(6:57) Wow.

(6:57) exactly (6:57) no one knows how bokuto snagged him (6:58) my moneys on witchcraft

(6:59) Have a little more faith in your Best Freidn Foerver.

(6:59) hes my best bro but he does NOT have that much game

(6:59) You misspelled Best Freidn Foerver.

(7:00) all right he types like an electrocuted toddler (7:00) hes there for me during the good bad and ugly (7:00) and i support him 100% (7:01) but theres no logical explanation for how he got akaashi

(7:01) Maybe he has charm.

(7:02) gasp (7:02) babe (7:02) did you just imply i dont have any charm

(7:03) I didn’t say anything of the sort but it’s an apt description.

(7:03) you really are a savage (7:04) totally my type just saying

(7:05) For all you know I’m a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly.

(7:05) im a personality kinda guy anyway (7:05) so what do you look like

(7:07) Shh.

(7:07) ?

(7:07) Can you hear that?

(7:07) ??

(7:08) Stranger danger.

(7:08) DUDE COME ON (7:08) or are you actually a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly (7:08) because no judgement if you are

(7:10) *image attached*

(7:11) holy shit (7:11) HOLYS HIT (7:11) AJGSFAJKALHHJKKKLLLL

(7:13) Uh. (7:14) Hello? (7:15) Are you there? (7:18) I’m actually kind of worried now.

(7:20) Hi, this is Akaashi. Kuroo’s fine; he’s muttering to himself on the floor. (7:21) Something about being sculpted by gods and touched by angels?

(7:22) What the fuck.

(7:22) Nice selfie :)

Friday PM

(9:28) arms (9:28) abs (9:28) legs (9:28) sore

(9:31) Do I really want to know? (9:31) No, I don’t.

(9:32) :( (9:32) i experienced life death and hell all in the same day

(9:33) Now I can’t not know.

(9:33) i had vball training for a match next week and it was torture (9:33) and when we thought it was done no (9:34) we had practice matches with alumni and it was torture round two (9:34) then i had coaching which i usually love (9:34) but the kids kept spiking balls at me (9:35) 10 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS BODY 50 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS HEAD 100 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS NOSE

(9:36) You play volleyball?

(9:37) thats all you took from that

(9:37) I used to play volleyball in high school.

(9:37) wait are you serious (9:37) what position??

(9:38) Middle blocker.

(9:38) me too!! (9:38) what are the chances of us both playing vball and being middle blockers (9:39) this is destiny i feel it

(9:40) That was another lifetime ago lol.

(9:40) once a vball player always a vball player (9:40) how tall are you

(9:41) 195cm, why?

(9:43) 195 and yOU DONT PLAY VBALL (9:43) this is a crime (9:44) tell me tobio plays vball

(9:45) I... don’t think he’s ever tried it?

(9:46) the outrage (9:46) how could you (9:47) i just felt my heart crack (9:47) oohhh the pain

(9:47) Poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?

(9:47) i (9:47) ijakl

(9:48) ?? (9:50) Did you disappear on me again. (9:50) This seems to be a growing trend.

(9:51) Hi, this is Akaashi again. Kuroo is currently incapacifjskkl (9:51) WAHT DID U DO TO MY BSET FREIND FOREBER WHYS HE ALL RED N CHOKN ON HIS WORSD

(9:52) Oh. (9:52) Scroll up.

(9:52) OHO (9:53) OHOHO

Saturday AM

(11:10) my mates wont stop laughing at me (11:10) i live in a house of dicks (11:11) cant even escape them theyre on my team (11:11) i blame you

(11:15) Sucks to be you lol.

(11:15) are you taking pleasure in my pain

(11:15) It sounds wrong when you put it that way.

(11:15) ;) (11:16) i’m still upset though (11:16) make me feel better?

(11:17) You seem to think I possess the ability to feel pity. (11:17) I don’t.

(11:18) you know what you do possess (11:18) the ability to feel annoyance (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) is it annoying yet (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) !

(11:19) ALL RIGHT, STOP.

(11:19) victory

(11:20) What do you want.

(11:17) whats your name

(11:17) Are you serious.

(11:17) i wanna know

(11:18) You reek of desperation.

(11:18) not gonna change my mind

(11:19) …

(11:19) wanna do the whole !!! thing again

(11:21) Fine. (11:21) You’ll ask politely.

(11:21) dom huh (11:21) im into that (11:22) will you pretty please with a cherry on top tell me what your name is

(11:22) N (11:22) O (11:22) *heart emoji*

(11:24) i cant believe (11:24) how could you (11:24) youre so mean

(11:24) :)))))

(11:25) shouldve expected it (11:25) do you always play with peoples hearts like this

(11:25) I enjoy jerking you around. You make some pretty good entertainment.

(11:26) glad to be of service :’)

(11:26) I suppose I could throw you a bone.

(11:26) im not falling for it this time

(11:26) Tsukishima.

(11:27) …

(11:27) My name is Tsukishima.

(11:27) it is (11:27) up down left right with you

(11:27) Disappointed?

(11:28) NEVER WITH YOU (11:28) TSUKKIIII

(11:28) No. (11:28) Do not.

(11:28) i love your name its beautiful like you

(11:29) I revoke your right to say my name ever again.

(11:29) TSUKKIIII (11:29) *heart eyes emoji*

(11:32) I have never regretted anything more in my life.

Sunday PM

(3:24) You said you have a volleyball match next week, right?

(3:28) is this a dream (3:28) are you actually texting me first

(3:29) Miracles abound today.

(3:29) yeah i have a match next week why

(3:29) I mentioned it to Tobio and he got really excited. (3:30) He made me explain everything. I spent hours talking about rules and moves.

(3:30) i knew that kid had the vball genes in him

(3:30) I even dug up some old practice tapes from high school. (3:31) He’s obsessed with setting.

(3:31) hed get along with my setter (3:31) that arrogant ass (3:31) i love him though

(3:32) *image attached*

(3:33) what… is that

(3:33) Tobio’s lack of artistic talent.

(3:33) i hope you didnt tell him that

(3:34) He said it was you blocking and scoring the winning point.

(3:35) he drew a picture of me?

(3:35) He captured your likeness down to the last red scribble.

(3:35) omg… omg...

(3:37) It’s not that big of a deal.

(3:37) youre not ruining this for me (3:37) this is the best day of my life

(3:37) Remember when we talked about low standards?

(3:37) your son loves me

(3:38) He drew a picture of you.

(3:38) and how many other people has he drawn???

(3:38) …

(3:38) thought so (3:39) tell my biggest fan i said hello and thank you (3:39) its the prettiest picture ive ever gotten

(3:39) Don’t get nudes much, huh.

(3:40) wow (3:40) WOWW (3:40) that went beyond savage (3:40) that was straight up murder

(3:41) You like it.

(3:41) yeah im really wondering about that masochistic streak

(3:41) About that.

(3:42) ??

(3:42) I was thinking (3:42) If you were interested (3:42) I could help you explore that.

(3:44) i just dropped my fuckign phone (3:44) are you fucking with me right now

(3:45) Yes.

(3:46) i fucking hate you

(3:46) No, you don’t.

(3:46) no i don’t

(3:46) Why do you keep falling for these things.

(3:47) actually im falling for you

(3:47) Seriously.

(3:47) hope (3:47) its all i got buddy (3:49) is this going to be like last time when you said no but then changed your mind

(3:50) No.

(3:50) dammit

Monday PM

(7:18) happy one week anniversary babe (7:18) do i get a gift (7:18) eyebrow wiggle

(7:21) Did you just type -eyebrow wiggle- at me

(7:22) *video attached*

(7:23) I did not ask for a video of you wiggling your eyebrows.

(7:23) its my gift to you

(7:23) I’m so… grateful.

(7:24) cmon gift gift gift

(7:24) I don’t know, I don’t have anything. (7:24) Actually (7:25) *image attached*

(7:25) omg is that tobio (7:25) hes so fucken cute wtf (7:26) look at those hamster cheeks (7:26) whats he eating

(7:26) Blueberry cupcake. (7:26) It’s his reward for behaving in school.

(7:27) aww no fights today?

(7:28) His teacher said he engaged positively with other students. He was trying to play volleyball with them.

(7:28) omg thats adorable (7:28) i see where he gets it from (7:28) are you teaching him how to play

(7:30) I taught him how to receive but I’m rusty. (7:30) I should look into classes for him. (7:30) Do they even have classes for kids that young?

(7:31) the rec centre where i coach does (7:31) idk about other places though

(7:31) Whereabouts is your rec centre?

(7:32) shh

(7:32) You’re not doing the stranger danger thing on me.

(7:32) do you hear that

(7:32) Can you hear my sigh travelling across the wind.

(7:33) STRANGER DANGER

(7:33) Are you done.

(7:33) my centres in tokyo lol

(7:34) It wouldn’t happen to be the Tokyo Sports and Recreation Centre?

(7:34) how did you know that (7:34) oh my god this is real (7:34) STRANGER DANGER

(7:36) It’s a twenty minute walk from my place.

(7:36) i know i just joked about stranger danger but should you really be telling me that

(7:37) Take it as proof that I don’t think you’re a predatory serial killer.

(7:37) thats the nicest thing youve ever said to me (7:38) *heart emoji* (7:38) well if youre interested the kiddy classes are wed 5pm and sat 10am (7:38) you can go to one or both

(7:40) Hmm.

(7:40) times no good?

(7:42) My brother has Tobio on both those days. (7:42) I’ll have to talk to him about this.

(7:43) ahh dont wanna encroach on uncle nephew bonding time

(7:43) I don’t think Akiteru will mind-- he used to play volleyball too.

(7:43) how did you ever think tobio wouldnt be a vball player (7:44) its clearly in his genes

(7:44) Wishful thinking. I never really liked volleyball.

(7:45) what no (7:45) why

(7:46) It was just a school club. I only did it because it was something to do.

(7:47) you come into my house

(7:48) Lol.

(7:48) well hey its paying off now (7:48) i bet tobio looks at you like youre a god

(7:49) Yeah. (7:49) It’s the first time he’s really looked at me. (7:50) So thanks. (7:50) :)

#kurotsuki #kurotsukiexchange #Kuroo Tetsurou #tsukishima kei #haikyuu!!

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bubblywimp-blog · 7 years

Text

22 July-An Idea of What’s going on in my life

Okay! so i’ve decided to write until i get a response from you guys..or until i get bored.

okay so, it’s been a month since school started..me and Iomhara have been coping well..adjusting to the lamos in our class..well..we arent really adjusting, when the school started me and she used to practise maths sums and study….mostly because of the classes we both had..my teacher gives us a hell of a homework and the math’s one makes really hard tests..my parents take tution tests seriously so i need to study..study hard!

Flashback

Ugh! i am early again!..now i have to wait for some time until someone i know shows up..

A guy entered the door..his name is shaan..a weirdo..his gang was once playing truth or dare and i heard my name being called over..i looked in his direction and saw him pointing at me saying “this is Lara..there the one whose doodling.” and his other friend looking at me..hell that was awkward cause i caught them looking and talking about me and since they were playing truth or dare the were probably talking something like-She’s cute,i’ve a crush on her, given a chance i would go out with her..blah blah blah. not saying that i am THE CHICK but i know they were talking about this stuff cause they were embarrassed when the saw me looking, me being the generous human i am just looked their way for a minute or two and then started doddling again.

so after that incident it was awkward with them..

now its fine..i’ll come to them later

the thing now is he is the second person that enters this god damn classroom after me..its irritating because we just sit there in a really awkward silence.

I was feeling a bit nauseous so i decided to open the windows thats when i noticed the the blue team’s(this team has a real name that is a more reasonable one but can’t disclose it) senior football selections were taking place today..and fuck! thats where he was..shining like literally shining..man he was the first one i put my eyes on like aww..he is just so cute well not cute he is hot af!..we’ll name him footballer. there was also this dashing new head boy he is a goody two shoes..tani had a crush on him in 8th grade for only 6 months that is..he is incredibly cute! like the dream boyfriend..the good one the one who is sweeter than the whole honeydukes together(Harry Potter reference!)..and humble,genreous,gentle, he is every good adjective in the dictionary.but not my type.now guess what?..this guy we’ll call him Lost Teddy Bear(LTB for short - cause he sure looks like one-but in a cuter way),so LTB thought i had a crush on him cause i used to lookout for tani and he well sometimes..okay! i’ll be honest..many times caught me saying ‘he’s there’,’look he’s coming this way’ and all this shit!

and then he started noticing and ignoring our group..i was doing the same.eventually tani got over him,i told you she is never the commitment type..kine of me but more bold i will get bored if :

i find someone new

something bad happens like he tells me to stop,he has a hardcore crush on someone,etc

or he starts looking ugly

i stop seeing him

gradually i loose interest.

btw that Nilay guy did the pineapple cut..if thats what its called..he looks so weird and i dont like it so interest meter a bit low..

now this teddy bear was also trialing..how many things can you even do eh?..like you are the head boy,so automatically you would be good in academics,you play football,you are the guy most girls would want to date..i can tell that..girls are always trying to flirt with him. the next thing that would happen is i would see him dancing and singing in two voices..like literally are you a super being or something??..plus he has read almost each and every famous book series

The Hunger Games,Maze Runner,Harry Potter,Percy Jackson,and what not

i know this much about him cause well 1.he is famous and 2.his best friend is in my class or was in my class he and GQ were really good friends and this guy had a crush on me,hell! he even waited for me..he waited for 3 years proposed 3 times like boy! i dont like you romantically! sorry but i have frien zoned you! and there is no bloddy thing in this bloddy world that can undo the effect! this guiy you know was really good..sweet and totally into me but no! me being the most stupidest human bring on the planet i friend zoned him!..the thing with me is -i dont like people who like me i want people that have no interest in me,most of the time it is like that.I had literally friend zone each and every datable guy in my class..so back to teddy bear and this teddy is in 12th grade now

so they were trialling..alot of people were there..

now back to my pretty footballer!!..my first reaction when i saw him was fuck

i mean how can someone be that hot!!

and why the hell am i writing in italics..better turn it off...its getting creepy..okay so yeah done..

i was drooling over my babe(technically he is not mine,doesnt even know i exist..) when Arya entered she is a fine gal. nice one to have a chat and talk about boys..well she is like did you see? so many guys are trialling!..and most of them are sooooo hooooot!!!

and i am like i cant see them i am lost in his beauty

“which one?” asked Arya

“the one with the red shirt” i said

“the one that blocked the ball right now?”

“yeah that one”

“he looks hot”

“do you know there is this guy in the green house..i saw him during one of those shitty house meetings..and he is just so cute!!!..and guess what! he is national level boxer and a state level football keeper!!..his personality is so awesome!..we’ll call him boxer” said Arya

“uh-huh nice one!..which grade is he in?” i asked

“11th grade i’ll take you to see him during recess” replied Arya

“righto!”

“hey do you wanna see this footballer guy face to face..they may be coming upstairs for changing!” proposed Arya

“of Course!”

so then we were waiting in the corridor which was filled with students..seniors,juniors,9th graders on the left corridor,11th graders etc on the right one..and then he entered..i swear he’s got abs...and he is so tall so cute..so awesome!..of course he did not notice me,of course he did not bother to turn and say sorry when his sweatfull body..if being more specific then- his shoulder brushed against mine..of course still he does not know that his smile makes my day..of course he does not know that he is the reason me and Iomhara eat our lunch as fast as we can..ofcourse he wont come out when he is finished with his lunch..of course he wont bother..

i told my friends about this tani and aki said that i was being a low standard bitch who would fall for anyone fair and tall...but this is so not true,pratham is fair and fairly tall...i hate him.i hate him because he is a playboy.If Footballer is a playboy then i won’t be that crazy about him.

And well Iomhara was not that excited about him(this was when she had not seen him)..the same was with aura..the thing is if my friends,whenever i tell them about a guy and they don’t know him that is they have no idea of his appearance, they automatically lose interest. Plus Iomhara had a glimpse of him once and he appeared to her as FAT! like literally he has freakin’ hottie abs for heavens sake!..but then she came around and is like he is okay-okay..aura had the same opinion. but no! he is awesome i dunno what happens when i see him but the way he talks the way he smile the way he walks even though my friends say he is a bit lanky,i dont care!!..its been a month since i have been into him..! and now that i think of it,i shouldn’t waste time on people who don’t even know i exist..but then again he could know i exist,if i talk to him..but he does not even come out during lunch breaks..

anyway this aki has a crush just like mine..but this one he is a bit different..lets call him Yan, so when i first saw him i was like “girl you deserve better”

and then aki is like i dunno i just feel something when i see him.

like literally! he is skinny, is not even that handsome!..he is even taken!!..i dont think so footballer is in a relationship.

Yan’s a 11th grader,his class is next to mine. so once he was passing by and is asked him his name,very innocently he said “Yan.”

i gotta admit that was kinda cute but still! he is a prefect!!!..anyway after a few days when i saw him again i had the urge to go and say hi so i did he even greeted back though it was with hesitation and Iomhara is like what did you just do,and i am like i wanted to say hi. A few days passed with hi’s and bye’s.Iomahara started doing it too but with a ‘bhaiya’ it means brother. she does this because she wants to make it clear that she is in no way interested in him,as for me i like to keep ‘em confused!..so this hesitation began to slip away and after that he was like ‘yeah i know these girls..so better be good and say hi’

Yesterday was the schools first academic council meeting those are the meeting in which you can complain loads about teachers and the school but no one does that cause the blame would come on you and well i was chosen along with a super smart guy of my class..he looks a bit like jerry from tom and jerry. we arrived a bit early and there was a bit of time left(or we can say our principal arrived a bit late-that bastard! always arrives late and i could not take a last round in the corridor to see my babe-not really my babe he is..)

when i arrived i saw that Yan was also there..our periodic test had just gotten over and we were as usual roaming the corridor when i saw Yan,Iomhara said hi to him and he returned it back but when i did,i dunno if it was the hustle bustle in the background or something but he did not notice me.. i felt kinda bad tbh..anyway during this council meeting i was hoping that footballer would represent his class but no! rather a guy who had his face shape showed up! no literally! first of all i am with all the people who just want to complain and then i need to put on my collar button see that my hair look neat and sit up straight because i am sitting in front of the principal,the vice principal,the coordinator and all the head teachers and then this footballer does not show up! anyway i told you before that Teddy Bear is the head boy so automatically he was in the meeting jotting down points next to the pretty head girl and he is so cute! a cutie literally that was the only entertainment for me! though i think he noticed me and then was like ‘this stalker girl! how can she be in this council! i dont think so she is that good in her studies all she does is crack jokes with that girl group of hers’

and i can tell he and Yan both were dead surprised to see me there. well when my class teacher Eela told me that she had given my name for that i was too,cause i dont come sincere and studious on the first glance..atleast i dont think so i do..

anyway after all those stupid little complaints from people, a guy from 12th grade (the same year as teddy bear) came up he is the academic prefect and gave an awesome speech! like seriously dude you rock!..he was giving us tips on how to study for competitive exams.you know this guy he came 7th out of 5000 people! that too in a really tough exam! and he was keep saying that seniors should be more approachable,juniors should try to seek help from them and all i really liked this point-not with the academic meaning(know what i mean,if you don’t i make it simple for you-footballer is my senior!!!,,so i was thinking about him!) anyway the speech was so awesome! ..man so so so flattered i was!..

anyway his speech ended and then we were allowed to disperse,when i was going towards the exit and looking here and there i caught Yan’s eye and guess what? he smiled,i did not even say hi or make the first move! he genuinely smiled!!! god! if i am able to make friends with him maybe i can set things up for aki!!

and right now i am really irritated on teddy bear like seriously dude! just stop noticing me! i know you do! i feel the awkwardness!

after the meeting when we were dispersing,Iomhara and me were going down the stairs and i saw Teddy Bear talking with the head girl,they are always talking to each other..don’t tell anyone but i kinda ship them

and i can swear in front of the ministry of magic that i saw his eyes flick towards me and then back to he girl!..its bloddy awkward you know!

so thats pretty much and also the gorrila guy sid on which aura had a crush on..aura got over him! like i am so happy!!

and after sometime that animal got in a relationship with a girl named Ifa. this sid guy is always irritated,irritated by anything..he can even be irritated if you breathe! i wont be surprised if he is irritated by his own breathing..its kind of funny to see him like that!..me and Iomhara like to irritate him! especially me !

So guys-actually i was planning to write on how my day went but i was practically writing this whole day,not this post but setting up the account and all and i am pretty slow at things so yeah!..anyway this is pretty much about whats going on in my life right now..i will tell you about my summer vacations in a different posts,but for the time being lets keep it this much!

LaraAngel

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samanthasroberts · 5 years

Text

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Confessions Of A Mid-20’s Drama Queen

Welcome back to another week where I sit through my own personal hell, aka , and try not to put myself into an alcohol-induced coma. And shoutout to all the keyboard warriors who love to type shit in the commentsyall take this show way too seriously.

We start with Mona and Emily discussing Charlotte, who apparently stood Mona up the night of the murder. What kind of loser gets stood up by another chick at a shitty diner?

Emily is like and Monas like, uh no? I feel like thats pretty much the only answer you can give at that point. Emily figures that Mona changed her mind in the trial so that Charlotte would be out of jail and Mona could get to her, which is like real far-fetched.

Mona is like and OKAY thats a line straight out of .

Chris Hanson: Did you know that this was a 13 year old girl? Mona: I, uh, just came to talk to her.

Monas like *what would you do if your son was at home, cryin all alone on the bedroom floor.* and Ems like Monas like, well even if I wanted to kill her, she fucking stood me up so yeah. Of course, this whole conversation is overheard by A.

Aria is like,lets tell the police it wasnt me at the diner! Arias really seen some shit lately. She got burnt and questioned by the police. All Hannas had done to her is getting shitty room service food with a cryptic note. Spencer is like,

Lucas is back. Goddammit. Anyways, he overhears Hanna talking to weird ass Jordan on the phone, and is like Hannas like, Where are you gonna seat him Han? No one wants to sit next to the virginal weird kid from high school. You cant just mix the band geeks with the Plastics, thats not how this works.

Besides, there is this scenario:

Priest: Speak now or forever hold your pe- Lucas: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hanna is like, . Wear those ties Lucas, you look like a second place winner at a science fair. He tells Hanna that hes thinking of buying some factory and giving Rosewood a second chance. LOL rookie mistake.

Ali and Snaggletooth are being sexually aggressive in some shit bed and breakfast somewhere in bumfuck nowhere, East Coast. The Ali from Season 3 would have been honeymooning in fucking Paris rn. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Speaking of falling, Ali trips on her skanky heel and takes a tumble down the stairs, effectively knocking herself out. OKAY, did I not set that up just perfectly?

Alis in the hospital with a concussion, and Snaggle is like, you need to stay in the hospital. Shes like and its like, because thats how injuries work dumbass. The manager of the shit hotel is like and its like duh you know that shit is tampered with.

Ali: I was really happy before I fell, maybe this is my karma Snaggle: Thats not how the Universe works

ARE YOU SURE? Because pretty sure its an established fact that what goes up, must come down. Also, Ali its not karma, you just clearly dont know how to put one foot in front of the other and walk like a normal fucking human.

Snaggle is like, its an accident and he would know all about those, since his face looks like it was a victim of a tragic lawn mower accident. Ali decides to text her friends a selfie of her in the hospital, because concussion photoshoots, so hot right now.

All the Liars are like . They have 3 days to give up the murderer, because A is a psycho. All the girls are shit talking Mona and Hanna comes to her defense, because Hanna is like, such a good friend.

Aria and Ezra are getting ready to go to a dinner with their boss and Ezras talking about how he doesnt like the book ending or some shit. Arias like and that shit is about to go from an Ernest Hemingway to a really quick with Ezras freaky self.

Hanna goes to visit Ali in the hospital and Ali tells her she is going back to Rosewood when she can gtfo of this hospital. Ali has flowers all over the room, because apparently people like her, wtf?, and Ali says that they are all from Snaggle.

Of course, Hanna is looking at all the flowers and sees a very creepy card that has pictures of a staircase, and all of them on it. Either Snaggle is one fucked up dude, or A is just like, really a dick. Honestly, probs both. Obvi, Hanna steals the card.

Emily facetimes Spencer a video of Mona and Sara Harveys body guard dude chatting it up. Weve all seen , Im expecting some bodyguard three-way action ASAP. Also, how did Emily even remember that body guard? I watch this show every fucking week and make it a point to write down every flaw they have, and even I didnt remember this. Wow, I need to get it together.

Also, them talking looks like any relationship I have ever had: Mona talking shit and the dude sitting there looking awkward. Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard when he leaves.

Back to Snaggle and Hans. Hanna is like, And Snaggle is like, Im sure you said the same thing about that B and B, you human chipmunk. Hes like and its like cough, cough, lesbianssssss.

Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard and act like idiots on crack and pretend to hit the bodyguards car. Hes like uhhhh no its fine, and Spencer somehow manages to get information on the papers he is holding. I have seen better body guarding by the fucking preteens in Project X. Seriously who is this dude?

Spencer learns that the documents our shit security guard has are blueprints to Radley, because of fucking course. Do they just hand out blueprints willy nilly in this town? God I hate myself every time I watch this stupid fucking show.

Aria is reading Ezras newest chapter and it flashes back to a conversation with Ezra and Nicole. Ezra is begging Nicole to come with him, but shes like

Anyways, Ezra goes to his typical EZRA MAD, EZRA SMASH mode and basically yells at her and leaves fucking pissed off. And yeah, thats the last time he saw his girlfriend. One girlfriend you took advantage of when she was a teenager, the other you let get kidnapped by terrorists. Let that soak in.

Hes like , and Arias like,

Emily follows the bodyguard to a fucking ice cream truck? Wtf? And hes just casually sitting there, licking a Drumstick, when Sara Harvey drives up and gets something from him. Wait a second, she cant text and grip shit because of her hands, but she can drive? The streets of Rosewood are not safe. Maybe she was the girl who tried to run over Emily at the diner. She wasnt really trying to run her over, she was just making a very sloppy three point turn.

Hanna shows Caleb the staircase card. Caleb is like why did you come to me? And Hanna is like They decide to call As bluff, because that plan has worked every time before.

Spencer is on the phone with Emily, when she is greeted by her boyfriend and his ex. What a time to be alive. They act super weird, and then Hanna makes up some bullshit story about how she killed Charlotte. She starts crying to Spencer and Spencer is like YOOOOO THIS IS HEAVY SHIT.

Then Hannas like PSYCH and tells Caleb Well thats the stupidest shit Ive ever heard. Caleb is like and its like NO WTF HANNA DOESNT KNOW JACK SHIT. LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. NOTHING. SHE KNOWS NOTHING. Why doesnt anyone understand this?

Aria and Ezra are at dinner with the editor and shes like, l Arias like and Ezra is like NAH I GOT U FAM, Ill have it to you by next week. Ezras that dick in every college class who votes against the deadline extension. There is a special place in hell for you.

Hanna and Caleb are pleading their case to Emily and Emilys like And for once, I agree with her. Spencer backs up Caleb and Hanna and is like, *under her breath* . This sounds like every parental argument.

Emily/Dad: We cant support our daughter moving in with her boyfriend Spencer/Mom: We need to support her, because if we dont shell work against us. And I want grandbabies!

Hanna is like and grabs Calebs hand very lovingly. Spencers like and its all v awkward. Spencer does what I would 100% do in this situationmake snarky jealous comments and guzzle a shit ton of red wine. I am Spencer, we are all Spencer (without the bangs, obviously.)

Emily also suggests they visit Ye Old Lizard King Toby and let him know about this whole shindig. Again, this idea never works out.

The editor lady tells her that Liam isnt on the team anymore and Aria is like, uhhhh okay. So I guess that relationship is pretty much dead. Good talk.

Spencer flashes back to a night with Caleb in Europe, talking about art and his foster homes or some shit. Yawn. For once, Spencer actually looks good in a nice dress. You did okay PLL wardrobe, dont get too excited over your one time you didnt fail.

Its a pretty pointless flashback, except it shows major sexual tension between Spencer and Caleb in Europe, which is like right after they both broke up with their significant others. See, I told you it was pointless?

Caleb goes to drop Hanna off at Lucas place and he asks Caleb on a very awkward man date. Below are the actual quotes:

Lucas: Do you lunch? Caleb: Uh, yeah I lunch. Lucas: Lets lunch!

A whole portion of dialogue that could have been summed up to we should get lunch sometime. Fuck yourself, Freeform.

Lucas shows Hanna the factory he wants to build and is like Shes like If she even THINKS her shit is going to be better than Clothes Over Bros, shes straight trippin. Lucas is like Bitches love companies.

Okay my high school friends will barely buy me a beer, let alone give me a fucking factory.

Ali has a dream of some kind and sees her mom, dressed in a fugly green top and with some bushy ass hair. I know they have leave-in conditioner in heaven, you lazy bitch. She tells Ali that Snaggle will take care of her and that she loves her, yadda yadda. For a loving mother, she also looks like she lowkey wants to strangle the shit out of Ali.

Mona and Sara meet up, the two sketchiest bitches on the block. Sara looks like Miley Cyrus if she ate herself and took makeup inspiration from a raccoon. Seriously there is like 6 pounds of eyeliner on this bitch.

Mona is like and Sara is like Sara is like, . Oh stfu Sara. You look like a balloon shaped like Nick Carter and your only friend is a dude who eats ice cream on a street corner like a fucking poverty stricken 6-year-old.

Ezra and Aria are having tea like a bunch of pussies and Aria drops the A bomb on him. She goes from 0 to 100 real quick and is like I HAVE TO END THIS.

Back to Ali and Snaggle. Lucky us. Ali tells Snaggle to go to his conference in Chicago and that when he gets back theyll resume their daily programing of boning each other (what a fucking gross mental picture.)

Caleb and Hanna present their shit idea to the group, who all agreeits a shit idea. Caleb is like . Hes getting awfully close to Hanna and Spencer looks like she is about to cut a bitch.

Caleb: This isnt a cheer-ocracy Spencer: Youre being a real cheer-tator, Caleb!

The plan starts by Hanna sending a message to A saying leave my friends alone and then a Carly Rae Jepsen-esqe version of Call Me comes on, while the binary code of her text shows up on the screen. A gets the text of that dumbass admitting to murder. Its about to go down.

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/12/17/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/

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adambstingus · 5 years