#dont sink to their level by sending hateful messages to them

[nullbutler]

I can't even begin to articulate how nice the past few days have been after going on medication

Like. okay. imagine you've got this worm in your head. maybe you already have one, but just, imagine yours acts the way mine did. you're constantly in a debate - its a fucking debate worm. every single action you take is leveled against judge jury and executioner. every punishment is the exact same: the punishment is the trial. however long the trial goes on, that's your punishment. but the jurys in for ages. weeks. months. recurring days spread over months. you think there's recess, there's no recess. the worm is the judge.

and, like, okay, you can distract yourself. you can laugh with friends, you can have a nice time. but every time you have too nice of a time, the gavel strikes and something invasive forces its way into your head. something that makes your heart sink. it's like a scab is open on your chest. you dont know if the anxiety is where your stomach is, or in your heart, or in your soul, or attached to the back of your ribcage. you just know that the longer you let it set, the more it'll glue into your bones, and the more it will become a fixture

the court loves the idea that you're a terrible human being. that you acted inappropriately to that friend of yours from a few years ago, that you creeped out your crush, that you're sending bad messages, or worse, that you're lying, betraying, scheming, awful person, awful friend.

the court also hates the people who are close to you. everyone is under the intense eye, however, only you can take the blame. if they're bad? leave them alone. If they'll hate you? leave before they can show it

So that whole mess. the most rancid dark disturbing things you can think about. there's no reprieve. and before you ask, yes, trying to 'write it out' did nothing. thinking it out did nothing. getting enough sleep, going on walks, meditation, distraction, yoga, other problems, NONE of that HELPED at ALL and god knows I TRIED

and you never think about the amount of resources and energy it must take to upkeep the court. tax payer dollars. hah. why else am I exhausted all of the time? what am I paying for? why can't I move? why is it so hard? i don't think about the worm, the leech, the parasite. it doesn't exist. that's my guardian angel, she means me no harm.

and then bam

gone.

no more of that shit.,

it's just OVER

I was so used to feeling such an overwhelming rush of anxiety...so much assault of violent, vile, cruel, untrue images. lawyers lobbying my execution. defendants and debates and anguish and frustrating and thinking God should not have said that should not have said that then. All of that, my autonomy stripped away, and its just. all gone. I'm in complete control of my mind again

it's slow, I feel numb, my appetite is no where to be seen, my headache is near constant, i'm giggly and impulsive when i talk to family

but GOD I'm alive

#personal #positivity #actually mentally ill

[its-sir-actually]

Been following Lando for quite some time so here’s my two cents on the whole situation. Yall are so quick to attack complete strangers on the internet. Check yourself and your friends first. As a 21 year old with a big group of friends, these kinds of conversations are something that happens all the time, and they come from both boys and girls. I’m not saying that it’s the most correct thing to do but the guy is not fucking Armie Hammer. You are spreading more hate and negative energy by making numerous posts about a bunch of immature guys talking about something that interests many 21 year olds- and thats sex and relationships. And don’t even try to tell me that you don’t talk to your friends about your experiences with those things. Lando is going to mature and come out of this phase eventually, it comes naturally for most people. Imagine someone following your every single step and being aware of everything that you do and say and then calling you out because of it. Humans are not painted black and white, most of us correct our behaviour on our own as time passes and sorry to break it to you but this is really not a big deal + the whole sex position thing is a lie and you have been attacking him unfairly because the “cowboy” nickname references the girl Lando is talking about because she has a cowboy emoji (🤠) in her instagram bio. So if you’re going to be so sensitive all the time, just write it in your diary and go on with your day. If you think the world should be a little kinder, start from yourself. I doubt that Lando is going to necessarily learn anything from this situation, mainly because he is already a good person and this is just ridiculously dragged on social media so the only thing he could possibly get from this situation is anxiety and a therapist visit- because you people are ruthless. Also, he will continue to talk to his friends about girls but next time he’ll just do it in private. So I guess your whole point is to idealise him so much that he can’t even be relaxed on his own streams and he will continue to portray this complete “good guy” image just to keep you satisfied.

"Yall are so quick to attack complete strangers on the internet" they say and then go on to attack me, a complete stranger, on the internet, maybe take your own advice?

Another bit of advice? Don't send me anon hate and then post the same thing word for word in the tag @vrckava

To address some of the things you've mentioned:

I have not "attacked" Lando, I wrote a post, on a social media site that Lando isn't even on, explaining my disgust at his and his friends behaviour. That post was entirely my opinions, nobody had to agree with me, numerous people did because they felt the same way. I am entitled to express my opinions on public media.

You talk a lot about how this topic of conversation is common and normal to have between friends and I agree, it is normal to have these conversations with your friends in private. Lando and Max F had these discussions on stream, I doubt that the girl (girls?) consented to have her sex life discussed in front of thousands of people.

Also you seem to skip past the thing that most people are disgusted by: the way they talk about the girl. This is open to interpretation and different people will have different opinions but many people, myself included, felt like the vocabulary they used was derogatory and objectifying.

Again the whole "cowboy" nickname thing is up to interpretation, some think it's based on a Instagram bio, some think it's based on a sex position, who's to say who's right. But the thing I would like to point out here is that a lot of people have been defending Lando's sex talks on stream because he nicknames the girls to protect their privacy, but if this "cowboy" girl is the Instagram bio girl then Lando didn't do a very good job of protecting her privacy, did he? Do you think she's ok with having people find her and know about her sex life, including how many "rounds" she's had with Lando and that Lando thinks she's boring but apparently still good enough for sex? Do you think she was ok with that broadcasting live to thousands of people and then having thousands more rewatch it?

Don't try that weird shaming thing by trying to gaslight me into thinking I could cause Lando anxiety and therapy visits. I didn't attack him and more important than that, I asked people not to cancel and be hateful towards him. If people did do that, that's on them, not me. It's fucked up to use someone else's mental health as a gaslighting tool.

"Also, he will continue to talk to his friends about girls but next time he'll just do it in private" that's the hope 🤞🏽 not only to avoid potential uncomfortable language but also to protect the girl. There's no chance of someone figuring out Lando's stream nicknames for girls if he's not nicknaming them on stream.

Lastly, I do not want Lando to be perfect and ideal. No human is perfect, perfection is overrated. I would like him to 1. Not talk about women in derogatory ways and 2. Be a bit more mindful on stream of his large following and his young impressionable fans.

#can you tell im getting sick of getting messages like this? #also just in case anyone even thinks about #dont send hate to the person i @'d #i mentioned them in this post entirely because i saw their post in the tag #dont sink to their level by sending hateful messages to them #f1 #lando norris #ask #kushee talks

[herecomesnaya]

Why do you write noncon stuff like it doesnt damage victims of rape and sexual assault. Even if you are one you shouldnt put that kind of shit out into the world and try to normalize rape so that people think its okay. Go get a life you fucking bastard freak, youre the type of person who made my rapist think it was okay to do that shit bc he saw it in a fanfic and thought it was sexy whats wrong with you go get some fucking therapy

I wouldn’t normally respond to this sort of thing, but this is actually the first sort of message like this I’ve gotten, so what the hell

I’m not sure how old you are (hopefully over 18, as my blog is clearly marketed for those people), but I want you to know sincerely that what you’re doing is very damaging. do you have any idea what you’re doing to people when you say things like that? the kind of damage you can do to real, actual victims when you say that they’re wrong and shameful for liking something fictional? I mean, it’s rotten to say it to ANYONE, but I cannot articulate the level of fucked up it is to say to someone, “even if you’ve been raped, you’re a terrible person and are the direct cause of more people being victimized like you.”

if you want to help real victims, don’t do it by targeting people who could actually be real victims (which is NONE of your, or anybody else’s, business). this is equivalent to going up to a victim of the Columbine massacre and telling them that, by writing fanfiction where people get shot, they’re directly at fault for the Parkland shooting.

yes, there is a very real conversation to be had about the place of these elements in fiction. but you know where you should direct that anger? the mainstream media. my fics get a couple hundred views, but the people making, say, Game of Thrones are reaching millions.

the thing is, what you’re doing here is going after someone who you KNOW gets a fixed set of messages, so you KNOW I’m going to read it. and you also probably know that I’m female. around 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes, a statistic I’m sure you know, which means you have a 1 in 5 chance, with every hateful message you send, of reaching a real victim. let it sink in just how many victims you’ve probably hurt by sending however many messages you’ve sent to people like me.

you have no chance of directly telling George R. R. Martin to pee his pants or whatever, so you tell people on tumblr. I get it. we’re more accessible than mainstream media creators. but we’re also not the ones who are influencing culture the way they are. you’re attacking the drops of blood on the ground instead of stitching up the wound.

you can make a real difference in people’s lives if you channel that anger and realize who’s really being hurt, and who’s hurting people. all of my fics are EXTENSIVELY tagged, so you CANNOT read one without willingly clicking on it. but switch on the tv right now and watch the blood and guts and casual rape culture fly! what hurts rape victims more: a fic existing that they never have to read, or going to a movie with NO warnings and coming out in tears after a surprise rape scene, or the characters discussing rape like it’s all the woman’s fault? I know which one I’d bank on.

#also I do go to therapy but go off I guess #I guess I was the one who went off #anyway all further responses to this situation will be far less serious #I've said my piece lol #ask #the shitscourse #tw rape #Anonymous

[several-very-small-eggs]

Rewatching veggietales 1 (Rack, Shack & Benny) + lots of overthinking

Was feeling nostalgic, so why not.

- K: i think this is the most we see of the kitchen in any of the episodes. There's a sink, cabinets, and a toaster over by the computer

- K: and larry has an oven mitt on his head, and has fallen into said sink. I'll never understand fashion

- i feel like mr nezzer is breaking a lot of labor laws, regarding starting work at 8 and getting lunch at 3, plus not being allowed any breaks. Laura also mentions that she sends all the money home to her family, which paints a fairly bleak picture of the universe in which this episode is set.

- George says that the factory produces 638 chocolate bunnies per day, but the opening song shows dozens being made and packaged within the first few minutes of the workday. Unless mr nezzer is artificially lowering supply, something is definitely fishy (or George is horrible at math)

- "shack, our parents aren't here now, we're on our own" i won't say anything more about the apocalyptic nature of this universe, but its rather odd for a (Christian) kids tv show.

- heartwarming song from shack about his mum, rather comforting. Now two full grown men are crying at it.

- "actually boss, i think the tomato is sitting" ah, the joys of not having limbs to show whether a character is standing or sitting.

-"we could use boys who know how to stand up here at nezzer chocolate" low standards for management here

- George saying "this time anyway" like he's trying to say u shouldn't always do what u think is right? In my good Christian neighborhood?

- talking about the bunny, something something worshiping false idols

- Benny sassing mr nezzer "im not familiar with that particular tune"

- im p sure i can see the foreshadowing here, but im not sure what the outcome of the three musketeers not worshipping the idol will be. Dont they get thrown into an incinerator?

- seeing a vegetable dancing is a strange experience.

- and now they've taken lsd. Flying Technicolor bunnies.

- now backup dancers that look like shacks mom

- he's low-key threatening that of they don't sing the song he's going to kill them. What the hell Phil?

- what would i do, George? Sing along to avoid being killed, even if i don't agree. You can do things you don't believe in if not doing it would be worse. Like retail jobs!

- we talk with George for five seconds and now it's morning. George the narrator is a god, but cannot count how many bunnies the factory makes in a day.

- oh god the amount of torque on that hinge to move the giant metal bunny up must be ungodly. Why didnt he just build it upright and skip the dramatics?

- wide shot of the workers, Laura, Shack, rack, and Benny are the only non pea workers. Wonder why, aside from animation restrictions.

- the announcers stage extends on spindly little rails. I'm getting the feeling physics isn't particularly important in this world /s

- i get the message, but this seems like a scenario where one should cut their losses and go along with it. Being this stubborn will not be good for you in entry level jobs.

- also, no one else is singing, just bowing. Cmon mr nezzer.

- and now, death of vegetable by carrot guards. And Laura is standing up for them

- SILLY SONG: the dance of the cucumber, translated by Bob, in which larry throws intense shade at bob. Bob tries to argue, but larry only speaks Spanish

- SS: is a poncho and sombrero actually accurate? I know it's stereotypical, but sometimes they're semi accurate, so I'm not sure

- SS: the fuck is with the dwarves confusing his mother for something else?? What is this joke i don't get in a kids show?

- SS: now bob can neither dance, nor sing. He's going to beat larry up now.

- they are going down the line to the incinerator now, and nezzer is being a manipulative twerp

- this is objectively terrifying, even as a teenager. Now they're flying through the air ducts to funky music. Tonal shift much

- the guard has fallen into the chocolate and ruined the batch. With all these interruptions, i can see how only 638 bunnies are made each day

- "Nobody bakes my buddies" a slogan against marijuana, and against incinerating striking workers.

- and now.... theres a Jesus? Everything is dark but the incinerator is shooting beams of white light, and nezzer looks shocked and mildly intimidated.

- yup Jesus came to save the day. Go oily Josh. Or was it George, who has godly powers? I didnt see him outside of the furnace. #illuminaticonfirmed 😲

- now he's changed his tune and is a good man bc three people didn't die. Character development, at least.

- nezzer is either reeeaaally faking it, or he's had a traumatizing moment, and wants to appease the three beings capable of surviving being dropped into a furnace and summoning Jesus.

- now shack is singing a new song. How do the pea workers know the song? Musical rules?

- also the French peas are pre-french makeover. Odd to hear them without the accent

- now, earthquakes ravage the desert, bc an entire factory building is dancing along to the song. Scientists are still baffled.

- K: and larry the oven mitt head is still stuck in the sink

- K: Bob hates the ending song for some reason, and had waterboarded larry to make him stop.

- K: MORALS TIME. Dont do anything you dont want to do. Don't go with the flow of the crowd.

- K: larry has a complex backstory. Family beach home, wanting to go see a circus. Don't see as much of that in later episodes.

- K: bob is catapulting larry out, at the price of being stuck himself. How selfless.

- K: the h*ck kinda name is Thessalonians?

- K: bob is not allowed to leave the sink. He is being shamed. The credits are rolling and he is still in there

Overall: 7/10 good intentions, moral doesn't always work in real life. Apocalyptic setting was new, as was the abusive boss.

(Why did i decide to do this?)

#veggietales #swearing #live commentary #i watched these all the time as a kid #feeling real nostalgic

[selivakyle]

miss congeniality stephcass au

so first of all not fbi bc we like to have some legitimacy and homeage to gotham thanks

so there absolutely is a plot to blow up someone in the miss america pageant which, for some reason is in gotham this year

steph is officially Off Duty because her and damian may have totally accidentally gone against bruce’s strict “do not go on patrol on this evening” and they did and so he’s grounded them

(((there absolutely was a screeching match between steph and bruce bcs hes not her dad and cant ground her and he is really just Tired Old Man so instead lets her look over some old computer files just to stop her from like, stealing the batmobile out of Spite)))

but the pageant

bruce decides he’s going to let cass look into it because she’s “the best suited for the job”

cass is really just happy to finally be allowed to take point on something

its not until jason points out to them that there’s no way in hell they’re ever gonna catch anyone if a bat turns up making accusations, not to mention the hysteria a bomb threat could start off

so cass thinks

and thinks

and thats how she ends up outside steph’s window at 2am one morning with her favourite waffles and steph is really 100% suspicious, totally, but also they smell good and cass is voluntarily like, sitting on her bed so she invites her in

and then laughs in her face when cass tells her about her plan to infiltrate the pageant

“cass those girls would drive you crazy, no way would you even make it to the semi’s”

so thats how steph finds herself in one of the fanciest shops she’s ever seen in a city over from gotham, with tim flaunting bruce’s credit card all over the place and buying her a make up palette that costs more than half her week’s wages and what the fuck

“oh? did i forget to mention you’d be the one in the pageant?” cass asks. steph has never hated her MORE and even considers taking this to bruce but also... it could be a chance at redemption and also making herself look good for cass so.

so she signs up. and she hates the songs and expects to hate all the girls but theyre actually really sweet, but steph totally grew up on the wrong side of gotham for this and it’s showing and despite all the faith cass has put in her she feels exposed and out of her depth and tim is STRESSING because “she has no talent”

which. ouch

but also steph is inventive and can do things other than messing up, thanks tim, so that’s why she’s carting out a table with crystal wine glasses on it and its so odd and the crowd are more shocked than impressed but it works

jason turns up about half way in and tells them, hey guys, there’s some stuff going On in the underworld and like. i think i’ve found your guy

also bruce doesn’t think we’re getting anywhere with this and the date for the bomb is getting closer

so bruce pulls cass off and tells her he needs all hands on deck to help with whatever jason tipped them off about (and jason is apologetic because he’s also extremely pissed that bruce has stuck his nose in his business again)

and steph knows this is her chance more than ever to get back into costume and break some noses but something tells her she’s right about this and if anything happened to these girls she could never forgive herself because this is what she became spoiler for in the first place

so bruce cuts her off and cass is just all over the place because she’s realised in all the craziness of this that she has a major crush on steph, but jason’s intel is usually always genuine and bruce is right in saying that they haven’t got any solid leads on the pageant bomb so she leaves

as in leaves steph too

but steph stays and continues and a gossip with the girls gives her a new lead, but no one is willing to listen so instead she calls tim and guilt trips him/calls on a favour he probably very likely owes her to come check it out because cass is currently awol and she doesnt really want to sink to begging bruce to listen to her for like the second time that month

so tim comes, flicks off a message to damian who tells dick who tells bruce who mentions it to jason who tells cass

who needs to get back to steph becase they were a team and also if anything happens to her she at least wants to tell her she likes her first

in the space of this the final pageant has started, steph’s glasses are ruined and “remember that other favour you totally owe me” “no” “ill tell you where damian is hiding your orthopaedic pillow” “fine. what”

steph totally kicks tim’s butt on stage, as cass and jason arrive because jason found out from one of his lower level drug busts that one of the guys on the pageant organisational team has some shady ties with the riddler who apparently broke out of arkham but no one thought to tell batman because he seemed busy. or something.

the problem is they still dont have a bomb location, steph is in the top 5 and currently trying to do her hair and get changed and -holy fuck the crown is missing tim its the crown you need to tell cass its the crown-

it is the crown. cass materialises her batgirl suit from somewhere and then red hood arrives in time to punch some bad guys and steph also gets to throw someone other than tim over her shoulder so she calls it a win

outside they get hounded by the press. everyone seems more interested that miss gotham is friendly enough with tim drake rather than the fact that she just saved the city??? hello???

cass is there later. the costume is gone and jason is giving tim shit that he told him steph was a better fighter than he gave her credit for.

steph is kinda looking at cass with this weird look on her face and cass is looking at steph with a weird look on her face, and steph starts teasing her like she did the other night in the pool, and then cass is cupping her face and just planting a kiss on her.

steph’s pretty sure she’s like, died or something

especially when bruce steps out of the car that’s pulled up behind them, ‘hm hmm’ing and motioning for the two of them and tim to get in the car so they can go home

jason’s disappeared somewhere himself, but steph reckons she’ll hear from him soon when she asks him to send the video to her too

steph gets herself grounded just short of one month later when, because of reasons she cant disclose (she was kissing cass on a rooftop instead of listening) she messes up bruce’s plan of action

she doesnt mind though; cass keeps her company on those nights anyways

#stephcass