#dont actually do this

[massacredkitty]

please write a pervyneighbour!ellie fic I’m begging u PLEASEEEE need her so bad

ellie williams x fem!reader .. sfw ? ౨ৎ

this is more like... pervycrazyobsessiveneighbour!ellie headcanons

did you really... leave your window open...?

either ellie had suddenly lucked out, or you couldnt sleep due to the hot weather... maybe both. didnt matter, she continued to pry open your window further.

she knew it was wrong— illegal. but how could she resist you? her sweet, kind new neighbour who always left your blinds open and only smiled when you caught her gawking from her own house.

her feet land on your bedroom floor with a thump, she feared it would wake you, but you dont move an inch. you should be thankful its not some random creep sneaking into your window in the middle of the night, just ellie.

she just wanted to make sure you were safe.

your room was still stuffy with heat despite the cool breeze of the night. but it still brushes over your body, causing your nipples to harden under the thin cloth of your tank top

you've caught her staring before, but you were certain it was harmless. maybe she couldnt hold eye contact... she's harmless.

ellie stalks closer to your bed. youre so peaceful and unaware that it worries her... anyone could break in and harm you, it breaks her heart to think about

she's supposed to protect you, thats why you moved next door right? for her to protect and take care of.

she stands tall at the side of your bed, watching you stir in your sleep and unconsciously kick the covers partially off your body.

she can see the shine of sweat over your body, her poor girl.

she wished to help you; maybe she would gift you a fan tomorrow. maybe you wouldnt even notice the camera implanted on it.

she crouches beside you as you turn on your side, snuggling your face into the pillow. she craves the feeling of your skin against her hands, squeezing everywhere she wants to and planting kisses and love bites all over.

she knows you want that too, she can feel it. why else would you move next door? youre just playing hard to get.

she lifts her hand carefully, letting the tips of her fingers just graze over the side of your face and down your neck. her breathing picks up, the slightest touch making her chest feel light and fluttery. "my girl..."

her fingers start to play with the hem of your shirt, using it as an excuse to touch your cleavage. you were perfect. she didnt deserve you, didnt deserve your love and devotion.

but oh how she needed it.

you were her life now, she lives and breathes you— and you remain clueless.

she leans forward, softly kissing the tip of your nose. "i love you."

#MASSACREDKITTY .ᐟ #🐾 rqs ྀི #pervyneighbour!ellie #dont actually do this #ellie williams #ellie williams x y/n #ellie tlou smut #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams headcanons #ellie the last of us smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie the last of us #abby anderson smut #ellie smut #the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams drabble #ellie williams x you

[saltyfryz]

Hazbin Hotel drinking game my friends came up with- Every time you notice eyes in the background, take a shot :)

#salty ramblings #/j #dont actually do this #you will die #hazbin hotel

[mitigatedchaos]

2024: p-rnbots start listing their pronouns and mental health issues in bio to better fit into the tumblr ecosystem

#dont actually do this #the blue website

[natalieironside]

Change your legal name to a different deadname just to throw 'em off the trail

#dont actually do this #it will destroy your credit score

[cheesit-notes]

hear me out….. pervy!task force BUT reader knows shes fine af. like. she KNOWS they want her and ENJOYS being a tease. dark femininity all the way!!

hii anon!! holy fuck u dont understand how fun this idea is to imagine. thanks for the request, your requested fic is here.

i didnt post the fic to the ask request because something about the words in the request being what i see as title is just skdjksdhkajdas in a bad way, idk if that makes sense sorry

#cheesy answers #pervy task force 141 #teehee i love some perv men and a flirty recipent to their perverted actions #dont actually do this #we love consent and communication in this household

[heirofnepeta]

Dont know how to tell your crush you love them?

Decapitate yourself and send your head to them so that they can revive you with a smooch, obviously.

#homestuck #reading hs rn and #of course dirk teleports his head thru a teleporter to send to jake so jake will smooch him #thats the logical way to do things #ofc #dirk strider #decapitation dirk #thats his new nickname #my new nickname for him anyways #NOTICE: #DONT ACTUALLY DO THIS #THIS IS A SHITPOST #shitpost

[zerosuitsammie]

Trans feminine cocktail idea.

Handful of estradiol tabs + gin + tonic water = EstraGin and Tonic

#dont actually do this

[iteratedextras]

Concept: The far right borrowing the concept of calling things that aren't racist, "racist," as SJ did in 2014-2022, but as a term of praise.

Extension: People upset that those things aren't actually racist.

#quick post #dont actually do this #this is a joke

[greasedupclown]

im gonna put on a shirt VWith a heart cutout and VWrite "be mine" in the space.

and the first to stab me VWins I guess.

that's how VWalentines day VWorks right?

#dont actually do this #lol #;ic

[hazzzyrider]

i advise everyone to lie a little bit more to inconsequential people. someone asked me what qualifications i had to say ai art and the current machine learning sites were nothing more than fancy search engines. i called myself a 'hard data research and analytics technician' and in an instant, every link and article i showed was read as believable.

#dont actually do this #not gonna tag beyond because i just KNOW people will take this out of context lol #source: trust me. #last thing i want is to exert any further effort beyond lying to convince someone who consistently listens to fraud investment scammers

[mousegirlheart]

the half smashed disposable vapes you find discarded on the sidewalk are free, you know. you can just take them. you're allowed to use them. puff puff baby 🌬☁️

#dont actually do this #or do #im a mouse not a cop

[bashfoal]

you should get that Sonic tattoo you've been thinking about

#voices #dont actually do this

[rslashrats]

Go outside and pick up a pigeon. You'll need him in the coming days.

i want a pet pigeon maybei will do that lalala

#ask #anon #dont actually do this

[mitigatedchaos]

Concept: Guy plotting to prevent "help I think depiction is endorsement" discourse by imposing an IQ requirement band to be allowed to see some movies.

#dont actually do this

[gayemogeek]

How to Burn Almost Anything You Try To Cook

Despite what some people might think it is actually very easy to burn the food you’re making just follow these three simple steps to be banned from the kitchen for the next several years

Step one: get out your pot or pan and put what you’re trying to ‘cook’ into said pot or pan and put it on the stove.

Step two: turn on the burner the higher the heat the more successful you will be.

Step three: walk away and don’t come back until you smell that essential burning smell that indicates your success or you hear people shouting that something is on fire or burning.

WARNING: DO NOT TRY IF YOU ARE HOME ALONE YOU STILL HAVE TO LIVE THERE

#Cooking #kitchen humor #Bad life hacks #dont actually do this

[thahxa]

we need more WMD manufacturing groups that are also polycules

#mutuals do this #dont actually do this #shitpost #bad post