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not-poignant · 3 months

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New Palmarosa chapter was *chefs kiss*! I adore all interaction between your Raphael and Astarion! I’m hoping the glimpse of True Submission we see will involve some more BDSM and kink elements 🤭

Hi hi anon!

I'm also hoping that the glimpse of true submission we see will involve more BDSM and kink elements!

That being said, Raphael's not like a professional dominant or anything. He's just a torturer who likes sadism in his kink/sex life in this story. That being said, I'm sure he has a ton of tools at his disposal that he can use if he wants to.

He's been introducing Astarion to his sexual proclivities very, very slowly. He very much wants Astarion hooked into that second contract, which has no actual end-date (it's entirely possible Astarion will complete the ritual, get access to the sun, and still not ever be able to leave if he can't submit - and then one has to ask oneself: would he be okay with that? Because he might actually be okay with that. We'll find out!)

Once Astarion is in the second contract, there's no more walking away. That's it, his body and flesh belongs to Raphael until Raphael gets true submission (and the ritual is completed). At that point, Raphael can torture him mercilessly every day if he wanted to, and never help Astarion ever again re: submission. He'd own Astarion until our vampire got hold of that contract and tore it apart.

Astarion knows that, which is why he's demanding to see true submission in action.

I sadly think Astarion will see it and still not understand and still think it's easy to do. (And for the folks who asked, no it's not subspace. You can force a sub into subspace pretty easily if you have the time and tools without any sign of 'true submission' - hell you can do it to a complete stranger). I think the best place to get an idea of true submission is to look at what Raphael actually wanted from Hope. He went about trying to get it from her in the wrong way, which shows he doesn't exactly have a skillset here for what he's truly looking for, but there's at least one point where he says exactly what he wants from her and we - the reader - know just how impossible that is based on Raphael's own actions.

And once you look at Raphael's wish through the lens of turning Astarion into his new Hope, or needing someone new to obsess over, I think it becomes at least a little clearer what Raphael's aiming for.

(Tbh I thought this was so on the nose - but Raphael needs a new Hope, his last one didn't survive the battle. He wanted one thing from her ultimately, and never received it. And he planned on keeping her until he got it. To me, Astarion being the new stand-in for Hope, and Raphael being clearer about what he wants from the outset...? Like...oof. Astarion hasn't exactly realised that's what's happening to him yet, but it is).

#asks and answers #palmarosa #thespectaclesofthor #bg3 raphael #bg3 astarion #the fact of the matter is that like #raphael has no experience with getting true submission from anyone #he can show astarion his idea of it #but he's aware - more than anyone - he might not be capable of getting it from someone #but that doesn't mean he doesn't covet it #he is a devil after all is he not?#and he's probably in his most human form #i think he really believes that if he can get it at any point in his life #it's now and it's specifically with astarion #but he's fully willing to just *keep* astarion if it doesn't work out #after all astarion might complete the ritual and still never see the sun again #if he doesn't work out true submission #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

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silverwhittlingknife · 1 year

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Has Tim ever put Dick on a pedestal?

100% yes! This is basically Tim's backstory IMO. Prior to meeting Dick in Lonely Place of Dying, Tim's a kid who's got a distant, idealized, made-for-TV vision of Dick and Bruce - mostly Dick - and he sets out on a quest based entirely around that misperception.

Aaaand then he immediately crashes headfirst into reality, because the Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne he remembers from his childhood memories and daydreams are like this:

But it turns out that the actual real-life human people are a bit more, uh, cranky than Tim's glossy vision - things are tense and neither of them are super-happy to meet Tim:

And Tim has to rethink a bunch of his mistaken deductions as it slowly dawns on him that - far from being a plucky team - Dick and Bruce are actually not getting along at all:

And so Tim has to realize his whole plan of "Dick has to be Robin again!!! That will fix everything!!! :)))))" was actually wrong, and based on a misunderstanding of Bruce and Dick's relationship. And having realized he was wrong, he immediately sets about trying to figure out what he’s failed to understand in the most intrusive way possible—by asking lots of nosy questions!

Actually-meeting-Dick is basically the end of Tim’s super-idealized vision of Dick. It's not a vision that can survive contact with an actual human being who's snapping at you. And kid!Tim is (I love him but) extremely pushy and annoying, and Dick's a prickly young adult who is not above getting annoyed, which means Dick snaps at him pretty regularly.

But Tim does continue to admire him.

So for their various interactions after Lonely Place of Dying, IMO "does Tim have Dick on a pedestal" is kind of a judgment call based on your assessment of Dick's relative strengths/virtues. What's unambiguous: Tim has a consistently higher opinion of Dick than Dick does of Dick, and they argue about it a lot.

I had way too many thoughts about this, so below the cut:

Comics where Dick and Tim have conversations along the lines of Dick: "I suck and I'm failing at everything." Tim: "That's not true!! Actually you're great and you're succeeding at the thing you think you're failing at!!"

So who's right - Dick or Tim?

Dick and Tim's high opinions/expectations of each other: the plusses and minuses

Comic examples

Here are a couple different variations on Tim thinking that Dick is great (often when Dick's less sure):

in Showcase, Tim thinks that Dick’s a way better teammate than Azrael, even as Dick’s thinking himself as a failure who let the Titans down;

in Prodigal, Dick tells Tim a story about confronting Two-Face which to Dick symbolizes a moment of great failure and which Tim insists was a no-win situation where Dick did the best he could;

also in Prodigal, Dick’s despairing over how badly he thinks their encounter with Killer Croc went and meanwhile Tim thinks it went fine (after all, Dick listened to him and called an ambulance instead of beating up Croc!), and Tim tells Dick to lighten up and Dick talks about how he’s a failure;

in Nightwing 6, Dick thinks he’s doing badly in Blüdhaven and he’s self-conscious about it and paranoid about what Tim might tell Bruce, and Tim insists that the fact that Dick’s being targeted means he’s succeeding and getting close instead of failing, and Dick retorts that this won’t be comforting if he winds up dead because getting close just isn’t good enough;

also in Nightwing 6, Tim thinks Dick was a better Robin than Tim is, and Dick thinks he wasn’t that great and that Tim’s better;

post-Last Laugh, Tim’s insistent that Dick's being too hard on himself about attacking the Joker whereas Dick's really haunted by the experience and confides that it feels like he's discovered a terrible dark side of himself;

way later in Nightwing 110, Tim’s seeking Dick out and Dick’s trying to avoid him because he thinks he’s a bad person who’d be bad for Tim;

in BW: Murderer, Tim doesn’t trust Bruce absolutely, but in Red Robin, he does trust Dick absolutely (or at least, more than Tim trusts himself);

etc. etc. etc.

Who's right: Dick or Tim?

So, is Tim being too easy on Dick and looking at him with rose-colored glasses, and Dick’s harsher view of himself is the correct one; or is Dick a perfectionist who’s being too hard on himself, and Tim’s the one who’s actually seeing Dick’s strengths more clearly?

I don’t think the comics really commit one way or another! These are moments of multiple-perspectives, where we notice that Tim has one attitude and Dick has another attitude and that tells us things about the characters, not moments that are meant to resolve to a simplistic “one person is Right and one person is Wrong.” I think often you could argue that they're both right? So, like, if you wanted to take the approach of, "Tim's idolizing him but he's not actually as great as Tim thinks," I don't think the comics precisely contradict that interpretation.

... THAT SAID, look, I am a Dick Grayson fan at heart, and I tend to lean toward “Dick’s being too hard on himself.”

Tim’s not oblivious to Dick’s flaws—he immediately figures out, for example, that Dick’s gonna attack the Joker, and rushes off to stop him; he just isn’t as judgmental about this moment as Dick is, and he doesn’t think it makes Dick an awful person forever. The point is (Tim says later, practical-minded) that it was made right, and Dick shouldn’t beat himself up about it. In Prodigal, Tim’s not unaware that their fight with Croc went badly; he’s just focused on how Dick’s morals and teamwork-centric attitude feel right to him in a way that Azrael’s didn’t, and look, Tim didn’t get shot even though he got shot at, and isn’t that the important thing? Tim gets caught in the same ambush that Dick does in Nightwing 6; he just takes the glass-half-full attitude toward it while Dick takes the glass-half-empty attitude. And so on.

Tim admires Dick, looks up to him, trusts him, interprets his flaws generously, and doesn’t think he’s a failure. And... this isn't quite in the comics, but it doesn't contradict them: I like to imagine Dick feeling like he's on a pedestal, and feeling kinda uncomfortable with Tim's admiration when he's forced to realize it exists, and feeling like he doesn't deserve it, and sometimes subconsciously braced for the other shoe to drop, convinced that Tim can't possibly really think this forever, that he's deluded somehow, and that eventually Tim will realize who Dick really is and get disillusioned and leave.

And I tend to think of Dick having this problem a bit with everyone in his life who thinks highly of him, but especially with Tim, because he doesn't feel like Tim's ever needed him or that he's done anything worth Tim's admiration. I feel like Dick - despite some insecurities - does know his own worth as a team leader, and he knows he was a good partner to Bruce, and he understands when he's helping people who are clearly floundering, like Damian and Rose. But all he's ever done for Tim is...hang out, and be nice. And he doesn't think Tim ever needed fixing or saving, and he vastly underestimates both the value of his own friendship in general and how much it's meant to Tim in particular. Not all the time, because later in their relationship when they've known each other for years I do think Dick does feel a bit more secure in that friendship and entitled to make demands based on it (and vice versa, for Tim). But I do imagine Dick periodically feeling like Tim lets him off the hook too easily, and thinks more highly of him than he should, and alternating between being grateful for it and uncomfortable with it.

But I would argue that Dick does deserve Tim’s admiration!

Look, Dick's not a perfect person - no one is. He does screw up sometimes, and sometimes he's petty or jealous, and sometimes his temper gets the better of him. But he is pretty great! He's brave and thoughtful and kind and generous and caring. He takes his own grief and his own suffering and devotes himself to helping other people. And Tim sees that. Tim watches an orphaned kid crying on stage, and has nightmares about it - and later recognizes the hero in him. Tim stops Dick from beating the Joker to death, and he holds Dick back from strangling Hugo Strange, and he talks Dick down from two separate panic attacks, and he listens to Dick monologue about his various perceived failures, and he gets yelled at a lot when Dick's annoyed with him, and his takeaway from all of that is that he believes in Dick, and trusts Dick, and thinks he's a hero.

You could see that as Tim having him on a pedestal and refusing to acknowledge the ugly reality. But I tend to see it as Tim understanding that Dick's flaws and occasional missteps don't define who he is - the fact that Dick's human doesn't make him any less of a hero. Tim can see the hero that Dick can't always see in himself.

Dick and Tim have really high opinions of each other... for better or worse

Tim's not alone in having a high opinion of Dick - Dick thinks Tim's pretty great, too! Dick repeatedly compares himself to Tim and finds himself wanting, whether he's thinking that Tim's a better partner for Bruce, or having a fear toxin nightmare where Tim's a rival who's beating him out of a job, or deciding that Tim would never have let Blockbuster die (and that he'll be better off if Dick avoids him), or musing that Tim would be a better Batman. Dick calls Tim his equal and closest ally in Red Robin; Tim thinks Dick is "the best" in his origin story and basically never changes his mind.

I think nowadays we're sometimes pretty highly-attuned to the way that high expectations can be bad or oppressive, and... I have mixed feelings about this? On the one hand, it isn't untrue! Dick and Tim's mutual high opinions of each other, and correspondingly high expectations, are not an unmixed blessing! They 100% cause problems! Dick and Tim think highly of each other, and expect a lot from each other, and sometimes they're pushy or abrupt or demanding when they could stand to be more sensitive. And the iffy side of high expectations is something I find interesting, and I do think it's solidly canon-based - you see aspects of this in several of their comic conflicts - LPoD, Graduation Day, BftC, RR, etc.

But at the same time, it's complicated! I don't think you can fully untangle the higher expectations from "they rely on each other and have a lot of faith in each other." Love and trust are different things, and Dick and Tim care a whole lot about being trusted, not just about being loved.

I also think it's important that their belief in each other is often a gift rather than an inevitability: Dick and Tim choose to see each other in positive ways. Something they both do is after they have a conflict, they'll apply on a retrospective very positive gloss to whatever just happened. So e.g. Dick starts Resurrection mad at Tim, and ends it by declaring, "I let you make the choice... because I knew you'd make the right one." Tim spends most of Red Robin 1-12 mad at Dick, and ends it by declaring that he knew Dick would catch him because Dick's always there for him. And in both cases, we-the-readers are aware that they knew no such thing! But to me, that doesn't make these declarations meaningless - it makes them more meaningful. Their faith in each other is sometimes genuinely felt, and sometimes it's something they stubbornly brute-force into existence because they want to give that gift to each other.

And I mean... Tim did make the right choice. Dick was there when it really counted. Just because it isn't the whole truth doesn't mean it's not a truth.

Now, does this positivity also put some pressure on them? Absolutely! They're both people who are very upset by failure, so they tend to reassure each other by insisting that there was no failure, could never be failure, failure is impossible, even when they know perfectly well that's not true. They praise each other's skills as a love language, when what they mean is I love you no matter what. They talk about other people's needs but don't always acknowledge each other's. And it'd probably be healthier if they said instead, "Even if you'd made the wrong choice, it'd be okay, because it's okay to make the wrong choice sometimes," or "Even if you're not always there for me, that's okay, because no one can be there for someone else all the time."

And they do not say that, because Dick and Tim are relatively well-adjusted by Batfamily standards but that is a very low bar, and at the end of the day they're still deeply messed-up perfectionists who deal with their emotional problems by punching crime in the face.

But look, they're trying. And isn't that the important thing? <3

#dick 'imposter syndrome' grayson and tim 'dick grayson stan' drake #dick grayson #tim drake #dick & tim #ask tag #i rambled for a really long time anon <3 #it's complicated because i feel like mmmm the ''pedestal'' thing is obv true in some ways #but i think it also sometimes gets used in this kinda flanderized way #where it gets extrapolated into claims like ''older!tim is shocked to learn dick experiences normal human emotions' or w/e #and obv fandom is transformative and a rich tapestry etc but for me personally #part of what i LOVE about tim's introduction is that dick is in the middle of one of his very angsty eras #so tim's burst into his life being all ''hiiiiii!!! you're the best :)))))'' when dick is at peak ''i am gloomy and depressed''#that said tim's high opinion of dick is very canon and very compelling to me <3 #tim does think dick is the greatest thing ever!#but it's more like being a stan of his rather than being a distant stranger who doesn't know him at all #it's not that tim's unaware that dick gets angry/sad/etc or that dick and tim never have fights (they do!)#it's more that unless they're actively in the middle of a fight tim admires/loves dick a lot and is determined to think well of him #so he considers all of dick's strengths What's Important About Him and all of his flaws Basically A Rounding Error If You Think About It #and he doubles-down on this when someone's questioning it (including Dick)#there is definite motivated reasoning at play in Tim's view of Dick but imo it's not quite the same as a pedestal sdfdsfds #i'm not sure there's anything that Dick could do that Tim couldn't find a way to justify in his head how it was okay /#not really Dick / not really his fault / etc. - like if Dick went on a murder spree #Tim would be there making the big This Isn't You! I Know You Won't Kill Me Because I Believe In You! speech #and like. if he was wrong then he'd be dead sdfdsf but the thing is he'd have secret doubts and be wary AND STILL #find himself ultimately making that speech / taking the risk - and ditto for Dick toward Tim #it's not that they never get mad / distrust each other and it's not impossible they'd stay bitter and suspicious for a while #but in the END they both really really WANT to trust each other

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lilaccatholic · 7 months

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how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?

#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk #i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting #it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer.#i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love.#im not the type you launch a thousand ships for.#so what's left?#who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture.#i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for.#im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now.#except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving.#i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around.#how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too.#its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like #ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out.#ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing #the trail? how do i become myself happy and free?#because i WANT to be more #i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy #but i dont know how to get there #and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me #all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself #i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do #anyway.#anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol #im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good.#please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM #lilac rambles

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whiskeyswifty · 9 months

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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags #but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes #and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but #all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time #these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine #but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like #the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now #and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event #there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz #they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares #like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant #there are no photos of her there and no paps outside #like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true #she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city #EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser #people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME #famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity #idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF #is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life #so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their #frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together #as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person #idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 10 months

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Opinions on Dream? :^

SO many feelings about him omgg rant under cut please forgive me

okay so i don't really talk or draw him much cause honestly,,,most of the times i just think he's a bit....boring? or more accurately plain? not in a mean way either but just in a 'fades into the background' type of way like don't get me wrong!! he's a really nice friend to his peers, his feelings about his powers and aura making his relationships harder to navigate and trust along with his whole conflict with nightmare and morality about what's good and bad IS very cool!! and i love it whenever they write him to be complex and not on this black and white mentality or when he's just straight up following along his friends with no free will or with a dubious purpose without ever addressing his issues or feelings! it's just unsatisfying to me :')

or when they're making him the 'naive' and oblivious, (sometimes childish?) character being marked as the obstacle and villain along with the other star sanses from the fic's pov, always talking about doing good things while fighting his brother and not hearing him out about the balance, (and for weak reasons most of the time. like it's been so long and you STILL haven't sat down with him when he's, generally, basically begged you to just have a talk? guys please :'( ) or when they go for the victim sad dream always missing the old nightmare, where corrupted nightmare is the incarnation of evil, with no sympathy or emotion except anger and sadistic glee, killing and hurting everyone and dream's just trying to protect the multiverse and dream's always been in the right. such extremes!!!

LIKE!! i hope i'm not the only one that thinks a 500+ year old should have had enough time to idk. learn things? about people and manipulation and deceit? after knowing what the villagers did to night? about the bad things in the world and how there's a lot of grey areas in life and that he maybe reflected on his past enough to process and ask himself if there should to be a convo to settle his differences with nightmare (and you can make nightmare the stubborn one too! or have them BOTH be petty and imperfect and have some things wrong and some right at the same time like why do i always see the good guy vs bad guy cliché with these two when they're the perfect example of why positivity doesn't have meaning without the negativity!! as long as there's a satisfying evolution or growth that doesn't leave me empty i'm good yknow?)

plus i believe dream really isn't as dumb as people view him. i do get some of you saying he probably can't read or write since that's actually a pretty interesting idea to explore! but in general please let him have emotions other than pure sunshiny happiness or endless sadness like he's gotta have more depth than that! let him make mistakes, have flaws that don't just make him the bad guy that's always in the wrong by default, and be angry or suspicious or jealous or bitter or battling his mental health problems/depression or malicious or smart or witty or mischievous and silly or sarcastic or ANYTHING dude i just want him to be put into different scenarios where he can be serious or lighthearted like it doesn't even have to be long or perfect but make him feel real.

it could definitely be that i don't read or see much art about dream or really look for it hard enough but also i just. i feel bad for even saying this fr and i wanna be honest about why i don't enjoy most stories about him cause he always gets the worst treatment along with ink!!! especially ink omg the poor guy has it the worst i think like wow do they mess him up :'(

always one dimensional in non shippy fics, or too plain or easily replaceable by other, more entertaining people in the significant other's life in most of his ships like man. i have read fics out there that made me genuinely FEEL and root for him and love his character so much it restored all hope for me!!! but i can only name one on top of my head and the others? it's been so long i don't even remember their names i just legit feel terrible cause i love him still and i can't find many headcanons that fit my interpretation of him yknow?

not to say people who write him very happy, mislead or sad are ruining him like that's silly- if i see something i don't like i just. move on bro i wouldn't force people to feel or think the same way i do about him cause anyone can have whatever headcanons they want!!! just talking about what i personally look for in him and why i can't exactly find it since most of the stuff out there just isn't my cup of tea :')

hopefully i didn't set anyone off with this rambling opinionated essay i just pulled hhh xD i know i know he's a popular character and i know a lot of people like dream so *sobs* please please recommend me artists and fics about him that you think is good it's been so looong since i've read or seen anything new that makes me attached to this little guy aughg<33333

#ask #rambling #delete later?#probably xD i just wanna love him SO much but sometimes he's just *sigh*...forgettable #i tried to explain myself but also it's like 4 am and i skimmed through the proofreading so don't take this too seriously HHH #like really even when i do read good fics about him he's not on the forefront of my mind and it's painful to me :'(#i used to see him as my third fav but now? ever since i've read and seen characters who get heavier more in depth plots?#i can't say it with as much confidence :') and dream lovers out there i am not bashing your choice or even your headcanons #to each their own but i really wanna hear someone be passionate about him in my feed or askbox like TELL me about him #i've seen ink rants out there that are FIRE like so true!!! but where's the dream defense team???#maybe it's just me tho :') btw i still like cream but not the same way as before if i'm being real #it feels the same...all of it and it makes me wanna bite something ARGHGG #i know i know i ship some stuff that's basic too hhh but dream and cross are always written the same and dream is too innocent #and nightmare is too weird in some of these fics like if MY brother ever tried to literally attack my hypothetical partner????#i wouldn't give him the :'((( sad face and weakly tell him to 'please stop...you're hurting him'' like NO girl they're TWINS #they're the same age i would tell him to BACK off and not insert himself in my love life after years of ignoring and fighting LIKE #especially since most of the time cross is actually good to dream and all- so he doesn't have a good reason to disrupt his bro's dates #UGH i just have so many opinions but basically i would love him a lot lot more than i do now if they also let him be more flexible #and shake things up like with shattered and stuff! gimme alternate versions of him even if it's too ooc like we do for all the other sanses #jaa i am SO sorry you had to read all that dude thank you so much for passing by :'D

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x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x · 1 year

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if you're deconstructing your ideas of binary gender and binary sex— you also have to deconstruct your ideas of binary sexuality and romantic attraction, too, fyi

#'are you saying homosexuals don't really exist??!?!!?!' no. please use your brain.#im saying it literally doesn't matter if a lesbian dates someone who YOU perceive as a man.#because the people in that relationship know more than you.#and human experience does not exist in a binary.#you have to accept that sometimes other people will experience life differently than you do #this also goes for gays and bis and pans and aces and aros.#the only people who get to define their experiences are them.#so no I don't really care if a gay man says his true love is a woman and he means it.#i still consider him gay. because he knows himself and his partner better than i know how to perceive them both #and how someone else identifies is none of my business.#that woman may be only part woman. or only perceived as a woman. or only sometimes a woman. or always both woman and man.#there's so many ways to be human. you have to learn to take other queers at face value and not question them #when you question if someone is 'REALLY gay' or 'REALLY trans' or 'REALLY bi'; you're thinking with the mindset of an oppressor #you do not need to gatekeep queerness. queerness is not a limited resource. queer people are not your enemies.#learn to empathize and embrace experiences unlike yours. be a better ally to the people in your own community instead of immediately -#- searching for ways to cast them out. be better. stop thinking like our oppressors. queer people do not need to rationalize ourselves for -#- anyone. they don't owe you an explanation. you cannot take their 'gay card' away.

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mostlyanything19 · 16 days

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WHEW that back half of the episode was JUICY, HUH??

#critical role #c3 #p #cr3x95 #both the sweet and shenanigan-y part and then the ABSOLUTE PEAK DRAMA HOO BOY #everything's so fucked up and by everything i mean mostly laudna #sometimes it gets on the back burner but like. this has been coming up with more and more force as the story goes on #is the question of..how will this ever. ever. end for her. how? she's so entwined with delilah. she doesn't seem to have the inner strength #to rip herself away from that influence; that presence that has killed her; made her; shaped her; accompanied her for decades #that's been a whisper in her ear and into her deepest thoughts for longer than imogen - the other biggest influence on her - has been alive #and even if laudna /could/ find the mental fortitude to attempt to rid herself of something that's this integral to her very existence #i don't know how she could? and now i mean physically; she's alive only through delilah; she's tethered to this essence; how could she ever #be her very own person again; how would that /look like/?#we thought we saw it after her resurrection but in the end that's not truly what it was. delilah was still in there #and if she ever truly left-could laudna live?how? a continued endless undeath? some true form of return to life? it seems terribly unlikely #and after episodes like this... it all seems so helpless #a little like what imogen was trying to express. 'i love you. i will always love you. i just don't know what to do with it.'#because it feels like you cannot ever truly move laudna out of the position she is in #but that position is becoming more and more precarious #now i've gotten into the thoughts re:laudna but THAT ENTIRE COMFLICT WAS AMAZING AND I'M HERE FOR IT

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cakemoney · 2 months

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i don't want to put my uninformed foot in my mouth or get involved with the Discourse but i've been seeing the two extremes of reactions to the korean low birth rates issue (on tumblr and twitter both) and i'm just kind of like. look. i feel like "low birth rates (in many countries but especially japan and korea as part of this conversation) are more broadly the result of capitalism/a culture of overwhelming overwork that makes social relationships and having families incredibly inaccessible to young people" and "low birth rates are very much a part of the current conversation about misogyny and social expectations for women in korea especially in the context of reproduction as 'unpaid labor' for women" are statements that can both be true

#laughs awkwardly #gender #especially considering the ways patriarchal expectations and capitalism very much intersect in terms of quality of life for women #ex. women being expected to have kids / raise kids / do all the housework and cooking in a relationship #while ALSO existing in a society where women (even married women) have to work demanding jobs to deal with the high cost of living #AND women are systemically discriminated against in terms of pay / job availability / work environment and harassment #all of these things add up. these conversations are not opposing points of view. you know?#and also like. not super comfortable with how TERFs are discussed in terms of non-white cultures #TERFism / radfems as a MOVEMENT (and a cult) is very much rooted in white supremacy / ideals of womanhood #again. multiple things can be true at the same time. yes i do see (from my perspective involved in taiwanese social media)#some east asian feminists engage in transphobia in ways that approach radfem rhetoric ('women are victims of men' 'men are predators'#type generalized sentiments which you can imagine gains a lot of traction among women traumatized by patriarchy)#but movement-wise i don't think it's fair (or just in good faith) to generalize radical feminists from non-white countries #to straight up TERFs. which again. rooted in white supremacy. keep feeling like i have to remind people it doesn't make sense #for asians to be white supremacists and that not all oppression on earth stems directly from white people. you weirdos #'what are you talking about' in east asia the type of feminist statements called 'radical' are stuff like.#women shouldn't have to wear make up every time they go outside. women shouldn't be expected to do all housework.#should men pay for women on dates. debates that i think in the states we kind of take for granted as stuff settled years ago #even if some feminists might be transphobic it's not necessarily Transphobia As Core Tenets Of The Movement. does anyone get the difference #basically what i'm saying is. wow these tags got long. maybe let's not apply uniform standards of 'correct language and values'#to non-white people and attack them when as all movements they are fluid and influenced by the people living in it #TERF-style transphobia is not the predestined course for them. maybe it's more productive to have open discussions about transphobia #to work towards inclusivity and solidarity in these movements than to prescribe White Internet Morality to them #and declare that they're evil when they are still very much having conversations that need to be had. thanks i think that's all #essentially. i find that 'how dare a non-american movement not have morally pristine vocabulary priorities and membership #as determined by white leftists' to be in itself kinda a racist attitude

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cypheragent · 21 days

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can I be honest I think it's kind of crazy how much lestans go on and on about lestat's trauma because I honestly think louis, claudia AND armand all had it worse. sorry.

#not saying lestat didn't have it bad BUT COMPARATIVELY???#u can say not to compare traumas but especially considering they aren't even real anyway i don't rlly give a fuck #like if we're being honest. I think all of them had it worse than lestat #lestat INFLICTS worse on louis he abused that man physically emotionally and sexually for over 30 years #and it defines louis's life #not just because of the trauma but because lestat MADE him #like even if lestat wasn't fucking abusive he would have had that grip on louis that's impossible to shed #AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CLAUDIA.#GOD TAKE ALL OF CLAUDIA'S SUFFERING AND GIVE IT TO LESTAT #lowkey even armand's reasoning for being such a fucked up little weirdo are more understandable than lestat's to me #NOT SAYING IT'S JUSTIFIED AND CRIMES AGAINST CLAUDIA CAN NEVER BE FORGIVEN #but it's more UNDERSTANDABLE to me after the shit armand was put through #as if lestat didn't try to kill claudia anyway...#tbh. loustaters less intellectual than myself will try to claim loumand break up because of what armand does to claudia #but is that really true?#after all louis stays with armand knowing...#unless he doesn't know in the show version. we'll see. but I suspect he does #and lestat tried to kill claudia so honestly what is the fucking difference #I mean ok. sure. fine. it's KIND OF different #but it's not as though lestat wouldn't have gone through with it if he could have #again less intellectual loustaters will disagree will say there was some kind of misunderstanding BUT I BELIEVE THAT MAN IS NASTY ENOUGH

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dmclemblems · 2 years

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“she’s not out for conquest”

hm. debatable.

#im trying to avoid this going into main tags and shit bc im trying to tag everything for my own blog #but i also do not know if tumblr still uses that first five tags go into the search tags thing #bit anyway so yeah also hubert agrees with me that she's out for conquest i mean he and she both say it themselves #it just so happens she also has massive power trips and wants to see them lying defeated before her before carrying on o.o #like okay look that's a bit fckn much. one: the only victory she'll accept despite how she tends to say #she'd let people surrender and stop fighting her and yadda yadda but here she proves that's not true #but also? idk the tone and wording is like... more aggressive than it even needs to be #she could just say she'd only accept a victory where she defeats all her enemies but nope. it's this instead #meanwhile in all other routes in both games they literally force you as byleth to be like i don't wanna fight her #or the main lord of the route is like i don't wanna fight her and they try to reason with her and let her get out with her life #then we have her here like nah we're gonna defeat them no questions asked. in all other routes they try to #find another way out that doesn't involve fighting except in SS where at that point the Church knows better #and they know she won't stop fighting them until someone loses but in that route they force you as Byleth #to say you don't want to kill her or ask if you can't walk the same path as her #to which Seteth very rightfully gets totally pissed off at Byleth for that bc wtf why would you say that after all this and be on our side #Three Hopes #Edelgard #DCE Comments

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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oh yeah addendum in also the other day seeing someone autistic talking in that context abt what they want from genuine relationships in that they said they don't want to be Admired Or Desired. that one time someone was like, you're one of the best people i know, like well neat compliment sure i'll take it lmao, but also, that's somewhat confusing and even disheartening when it's like, i have no way of knowing this; we don't really interact? or times i have to ""unilaterally"" assess that i don't feel Friends with someone b/c i don't feel like, for one thing, i can just up & message them even lol; the feeling that to whatever capacity there's a relationship, it's been continual "don't mess this up" masking / efforts to "do things Right" from me....whilest also times it's been like, oh someone's apparently choosing to be around me? enjoying interactions? while still kind of confused about it. and then it's like oh it was Romantic Interest apparently lol :( like even if i wasn't aromantic which i so am....where was the [there is anything to feel is genuine] like again we never even got to any part where i wasn't masking and [do things Right] and on edge and certainly not at whatever point i apparently had whatever appeal. much less "when cishet men are just sprinting straight at you" but that's all the more, like, [you as a Person are certainly irrelevant] but not like it doesn't still feel ultimately mostly irrelevant even if people have more discretion / a more considerate approach in general. also that again there would not be a Right way lmfao. it just sure could be a totally neutral expereince rather, please. how i've had too many situations having to try to fling myself out a window figuratively, even w/those theoretically more considerate approaches

or even when people will be talking about what makes someone Deserving outside of the most conservative(tm) approaches like. this person isn't someone who just waits for things to happen :) like well hell yeah for them lol, meanwhile, i sure kinda am. being aware that in any given way i may not impress anyone / may be negatively assessed; only turns into "there go my power levels increasing again. shrugmoji" when correspondingly it's like, and i don't have to care, or certainly then blame myself about it if like oh boy, society when you have to be "objectively" judged as Worthy by randos, whatever their perspectives lol....or when like, the concept of social support is like, get a romantic partner, primarily, an ounce of backup from friends, the Real backup being family, or friends "as good as" family....or the ongoing journey of realizing like; it was never Just gonna be managing to leave [abusive childhood/family house]. the ways that other experiences outside that were Consistent, really, when being around peers means an immediate sense of doing something wrong / not being as good as them; authority figure adults sometimes acting just like an abusive parent does; no ways to regularly exist flexibly and/or less supervised/monitored, e.g. couldn't walk from [home] to [anywhere]....catching on like, ah, outside of That Situation? i'm still not inherently more valued by randos, still not Not liable to be regarded/treated with disdain / expressions of authoritarianism....Aren't We All; for real. but truly like oh hey, i didn't even realize i was getting all this Political experience in that [when you have a one on one personal abuser and You're Responsible For How They Treat You and Their Own Power Is The Whole Thing and You'll Never "Earn" Better But It'll Always Be Your Fault You Haven't] and all those kinds of logics and realities it's like of course this resonates crystal clear with logics and realities re: [political enemies] lmao. ofc they can be as "hypocritical" as they want b/c [you can just say whatever while you do w/e you want and other people have to deal] is an expression of power. of course "for [xyz]'s own good; individually or as a group" is really about ensuring the power to control their existences as property by shrinking the space in which someone can enact autonomous choices: anything For Children is about (conservative) parents controlling children as things they own and can do whatever they want with; like making sure kids Can't be gay or sm shit, it Is about children, just keeping them from being able to exist outside the sphere of control of an isolated Family life. hell yeah when they do anyways / tragically it always turns out people are actually people despite your wanting to disbelieve this / always have the power to ignore it..........but then yknow, the truth is we out here, and ofc it's like [police protect Property; enforce these property/owner relations] but what's Normal yet obviously harmful is also so borne by regular ordinary """harmless""" interpersonal interactions / people who feel supposedly well-intended but that's more superficial than in essence....even merely the Exhaustion in knowing interactions as Just chitchat w/supposedly amicable parties is like, a scrutinizing test that can only go wrong and lead to antagonism / animosity that can easily accumulate &/or compound. much less existence In Public and shit going wrong out of nowhere, and potential stakes....being like Lol at, again, years back thinking like "a horror short should be like, the premise that you might just be at a grocery or some ordinary asf situation but at any given moment, doing Nothing extraordinary, some rando suddenly goes Deeply Hostile Mode for a second. where even then suddenly disengaging from that mode is not a relief in that the [this could happen at any time] is emphasized" like lmfao that's [being in an abusive situation], that's [being autistic], isn't it so Zany that there's so much overlap / resonance.

Not At All being Lol abt how much actual discrete examples of produced horror is just like "what if there was disabled people." this is its own line b/c of the characters per block limit. but also disdainful emphasis

anyways lol wuh oh in conclusion, antifascism....isn't it always

#celebrating the true meaning of that autism acceptance month...and every other thing #gather round the disability justice [holiday tradition] children; who are people to be supported & not property granted to parents....#just excising things lol been marinating on [more nonspeaking than i thought; even more nonverbal probably] & [more ''uh oh an autistic #person doesn't want friends? proves they bring it upon themselves'' than i thought] all based on All Life Experience #explaining like; more like Ultraromantic but in the way that [prefix Ultra] means Beyond rather than Superlative Of / Extremely X lol #ultraviolet light is not [as violet as you could get]....don't think it'd catch on. and: when it isn't not political lol #thinking of ''hell yes though for straightup Object/Concept names'' tendencies & like dramatic words for last names? v gay v trans #even [milo] was just a name i always knew i loved so that's been very simple & straightforward. but beyond that? how about Beyond that #thinking of ''what if a word that sounds cool and is a neat meaning'' like middle name kilopascal?? why not. but not set on that one lol #been testing out / placeholding Burrows for a last name cuz a milo burrows is mentioned in lotr. doesn't promptly answer letters lol.#me neither. but hmm B for Beyond. beyond what? it's flexible #testing it out in my mind. i'd be lastnameless fine as well but sometimes; it's convenient. specifying which milo in broader contexts #Public Universal Friend; Thou Sayest It shit #anyways Everything's Political let's get you some fruit #breathing's political as they say; for real. being in public. being in private. exchanges w/a rando. exchanges w/a nonrando.

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