#do samus and rosalina have a ship name?
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I 100% blame @kagrenacs entirely for this. This is your fault. You gave me Ideas.
Also, @tortilla-of-courage I promised I’d tag you in this. Here’s that crack fic I talked about where Mario is Malon’s step-father.
Behold, a crack fic.
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Link had been dating Malon officially for about three months when the letter came.
Link had arrived at the ranch about the same time as the postman left, having just got back home from another adventure trying to help clear out a temple that had been invaded by monsters that the regular soldiers were struggling with. He went so Sheik wouldn’t, as apparently Zelda was needed at the castle for something else.
Malon was waving goodbye at the postman as Link and Epona trotted up, the boy leaning to the side of the saddle to blink at his girlfriend.
Epona snorted and nudged Malon’s head to get her attention.
“Oh what, Epona!” Malon laughed, reaching up to stroke her hand along the mare’s face. “And that means,”
Link waved at her with a smile.
“Link!” Malon grinned, coming around Epona’s side to meet him. “You’re home!”
Link nodded as he leaned down to kiss her hello, feeling much better now that he was back at the ranch, even if he was still bruised and achy and very possibly bleeding. Malon almost made him feel the way the forest did, like he was home.
He swung over and dismounted the horse, smiling as Malon pulled him into a hug.
Malon then pushed him away and spun him around. Link was confused for about one second before,
“Are you bleeding?”
Link shrugged, not entirely sure himself.
Malon made a strangled noise and then she was dragging him inside. “Honestly, Link. What part of ‘be careful’ do you not understand? You know, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t show up here bleeding sometimes,”
Link just smiled at the back of her head, not affected by her berating in the least. She’d lectured him on this before, and would do so again in the future, and he knew she wasn’t as mad as she pretended to be. At this point her yelling was as much standard fare as her patching him up was.
Link hopped up to sit on the kitchen table, watching as Malon dropped the letter on the table next to him before digging out the first aid kit she kept stocked in the room.
In lieu of anything else to look at, Link glanced down at the letter next to him. There was a red seal on the back, not dissimilar to the ones Zelda used when writing letters, though instead of the Hylian crest this seal had the image of a mushroom on it. Flipping it over saw words in neat curling letters in an alphabet Link didn’t recognize. This wasn’t surprising, as up until a year or so ago he still struggled with written Hylian. He set the letter down when he heard a door open in a different part of the house.
“Malon!” Talon shouted through the house. “Did you know Epona was out front? I thought Link had taken her,” he stopped when he turned into the kitchen and saw his daughter standing up with a first aid kit and the mentioned adventurer on his table. Link waved. “Link! You’re back!”
Link nodded, smiling at Talon as Malon opened the first aid kit on the table and started sorting through the contents.
“Link just got back a minute ago,” Malon informed her father as she had Link pull off his tunic. “He’s bleeding still, so I’m going to patch him up before he fills us in on his latest adventure,” she paused, then picked up the letter that she’d received when Link arrived. “Oh, and we got a letter from mom,”
She handed over the letter to her dad, Link watching the paper with curiosity. Malon’s mother? She’d never mentioned her mother to him before, and he’d never pried. He assumed her mother was dead, since she wasn’t around and no one talked about her, but he was also pretty sure dead people didn’t send letters. Pretty sure, not totally sure. Considering what he’d already seen on his adventures, he wasn’t ruling it out as a possibility.
Talon grumbled as he opened it, Malon pulling Link’s attention to her as she went about patching him up as best she could. A few minutes passed, Link occasionally hissing as Malon applied a disinfectant, and then Malon declared him patched up, wandering over to look at the letter over her father’s shoulder.
“What does it say?” She asked, crowding him as Link shrugged back into his tunic.
“It’s an invitation,” Talon handed it to her to read herself. “Some kind of Star Carnival or something, happens every couple of years. She’s invited us to come,”
Link slowly raised his hand, then waved when he noticed no one was paying attention to him. Talon looked up, then nudged Malon to get her attention. Link waved his hands at the letter then at the two of them, then threw his hands up in confusion. True, he could have signed, but he only thought of that afterwards.
“Oh, right,” Malon bounced over to sit next to him to hold the letter where he could see it. He looked at it, then at her. Malon scoffed. “It’s an invitation from my mother to come to the Star Carnival in the Mushroom Kingdom,”
Link blinked, then sighed ‘Mushroom Kingdom’ back at her with his face twisted up in confusion.
Malon blinked at him, then snapped her fingers. “Oh right, I never told you about my mother, did I? She lives in a neighboring kingdom off to the west, and her and dad had a bit of a falling out a few years after I was born. Dad and Ingo moved to Hyrule, and mom remarried. I have a half sister over there now,”
Link nodded slowly, then waved at the letter again.
“Oh, mom will occasionally invite us back for festivals and stuff. It’s her way of keeping up with us, while respecting that dad moved away for a reason,” she paused, then her head snapped up and turned to him so quickly he had to lean back in order to not get hit. “You should come with us!”
Malon blinked at him, wide eyed and grinning. Link couldn’t possibly say no. He nodded.
Malon made a giddy sound and wrapped Link in a hug, then slid off the table to hand the letter to her father. She came back to grab his hands and pull him off the table too.
“Oh, you’ll love it, Link! The Star Carnival is great, there’s all sorts of games, and events, and everyone comes out for it,” Malon chatteled off, dragging Link with her so she could keep talking at him while she finished up her chores.
Link completely forgot he was supposed to tell Zelda about the temple.
About a week later Link found himself next to Malon in an oddly mushroom shaped carriage her mother sent to collect them for the carnival. Apparently this was normal for these trips, but the fact the carriage had nothing to pull it but still moved confused Link. According to Malon this was how most things worked, but he wasn’t convinced he liked that.
The trip was uneventful, except how Link kept jumping every time the carriage bumped. The little mushroom person (“He’s a Toad, they’re the race that makes up most of the Mushroom Kingdom’s people,” Malon told him) kept up a steady stream of talk, pointing out everything he saw. Link was very glad he’d managed to convince Malon to let him take one of his swords and the mirror shield with him, he felt much more comfortable armed.
His discomfort was overshadowed, however, when the site of the carnival came into view. A big red and white striped tent, with booths and stalls set up throughout the whole grounds. There were people streaming all through the area, humans, toads and some other things as well. Link found it incredible, and Malon had to pull him back into the carriage before he fell out the window.
Eventually, the carriage came to a stop at the entrance to the grounds and the three Hyruleans stepped out. There were a few long moments as Link looked around in awe, and confusion, at some of the things he was seeing. There were moving paintings positioned around the grounds showing some guy who was mostly hat and blaring his voice across the area. Malon called these moving paintings ‘video screens’, and that they were looking at something happening in a different part of the carnival. Link didn’t understand that, but they were moving along fast enough that he didn’t linger on it.
He was snapped out of looking at some star shaped pastries at a loud squeal, head snapping up and on alert. He relaxed when Malon laughed and waved in response.
“Malon!” A higher pitched voice called, belonging to a taller woman with bright blonde hair wearing a very big pink dress and long white gloves. She had a crown on her head. “You made it!”
“Of course I made it,” Malon laughed as she hugged the other woman. “Why would I miss this?”
Malon then switched to hugging and greeting another woman closer to her age, also wearing a crown but dressed in blue, her hair covering her right eye. A little chubby star creature floated next to her and waved.
Link blinked and watched the exchange, hovering off to the side.
“Oh!” Malon abruptly remembered him and turned to tug him up. “Link, I want you to meet my mother, Queen Peach, and my half sister Rosalina. Mom, Rosy, this is my boyfriend Link,”
Link managed to get himself out of his ‘Malon’s mom is queen???!?’ confusion loop long enough to bow, trying to be polite.
“Oh no, please don’t. No one has bowed to me in a very long time, and it’s weird to see now,” Queen Peach giggled lightly as Link straightened up, the tips of his ears turning red. “You didn’t mention you had a boyfriend,”
“Uh, surprise!” Malon waved her hands as she gave her mother and sister a sheepish grin. “I have a boyfriend! His name is Link,”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Rosalina extended her hand, and Link took it to shake.
Link nodded and grinned, then signed back ‘it’s nice to meet you too’ at her when she dropped his hand. Both women blinked at him and for a second he thought he’d done something wrong. He slowly lowered his hands and blinked at them too. Maybe they didn’t speak Hylian sign? He’d never encountered someone who couldn’t understand him, but outside of Hyrule it wasn’t impossible.
“Oh,” Malon jumped in, waving at him. “Link is mute, so he uses sign to talk. I should have mentioned that,”
“Oh,” Queen Peach brightened up again. “Of course. Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Link. I hope you enjoy the carnival,” she signed as she spoke, and Link blinked at her, then matched her grin.
Link nodded happily, letting her know it wasn’t like anything he’d encountered before, but that he was enjoying things so far.
Queen Peach offered to show them around, which Malon accepted for them, and they went about walking through the grounds while the queen pointed out different attractions. Most of these involved events she called minigames, though a few featured other attractions. Apparently minigames were part of a big event called a Party, which was a competition people could compete in for prizes. Malon had very quietly dissuaded him from participating, as apparently she was worried a few of the minigames might mess with his trauma if he were to play them. Also, apparently Hylians weren’t as durable as the people of the Mushroom Kingdom.
“Oh!” Queen Peach bounced over to one of the video screens and grinned. “It looks like a Party is starting!”
Wandering up to join the toadstool queen, Link blinked up at the moving paintings on the screen, still confused as to how that worked. The man who was mostly hat introduced a group of four, a stout man in red with blue overalls with a very big mustache named Mario, a brunette woman in a yellow dress named Daisy, a stal-like creature that resembled the creatures Malon told him were koopahs who was introduced as Dry Bones, and a tall lanky man in purple who introduced himself as Waluigi. Queen Peach was grinning, and Malon was laughing a little at this.
Link tapped Malon’s shoulder and asked her who those people were.
“Oh, well Mario is mom’s husband, and Daisy is his brother’s wife. Dry Bones is a friend, I think, and Waluigi just shows up for events like this,” Malon explained to him, pointing as she did. “It can be hard to keep track of who’s friendly and who isn’t all the time, things change so often,”
“They don’t change often,” Queen Peach giggled. “The only time anything changes is when Bowser kidnaps me, then we’re briefly enemies, but we go back to being friends when Mario comes to rescue me,”
Link blinked at her, face scrunched up. She talked like this was normal. Apparently, this was quickly explained to him, it was. It was just the relationship those three had. Link wasn’t sure he’d ever understand that concept, but was willing to push it aside for the moment.
They stood and watched the Party, and Link was glad Malon had encouraged him not to try any of the minigames. She was right about a few of them not meshing well with his trauma. He’d actually had to turn away during one because of how much it reminded him of fighting Volvagia in the Fire Temple. It was pretty easy for Malon to work him down again, and he was ever so grateful for her and her patience with him, but they didn’t turn back until after the minigame was over.
Once the Party was over, Queen Peach eagerly dragged them over to something called a warp pad in order to greet her husband when he got there. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one.
Already waiting at the pad was a very large individual. He looked vaguely like a koopah, but was much bigger, and his shell was studded with spikes. Helpfully, Link’s mind supplied him with the theory that the koopah might be like the Zora, with the ruler being much bigger than the rest of their people, and so this might be their king.
He was right, he’d soon learn.
What had him stopping dead was the man next to him. Almost eight feet tall, bright red hair, black armor. The man was distinctly Gerudo, and looked identical to Ganondorf. Link reached out and grabbed Malon’s arm, pointing out the man to her and signing as fast as she could keep up. Malon had his shoulders in her hands, and was trying to talk to him slowly, the same way she did when working him down from a panic attack or a spike in anxiety. Maybe he was freaking out, he certainly didn’t feel calm. But Ganondorf shouldn’t be here, Zelda’s father had him executed. He shouldn’t be alive, let alone here.
“Is something wrong?” Queen Peach popped up in Link’s peripheral vision, but he was too busy trying not to panic to respond to her.
Thankfully, he had Malon.
“Kind of, Link’s had some, uh, adventures that have messed with his head a little. Bowser’s friend over there happens to look like a man named Ganondorf who tried to kill him more than once, with quite a bit of effort,” Malon rubbed Link’s arms as she spoke, glancing back at him every once in a while. “He’s a little freaked out to see someone who looks so similar, even if this can’t be Ganondorf, since Queen Zelda’s father, the late king, had him executed for trying to kill the royal family and steal Hyrule’s crown about ten or so years ago.”
“Oh, I hadn’t realized,” Queen Peach paused, glancing back at Bowser and maybe-Ganondorf, then back to the two of them. “If you’ll give me a moment,”
She ducked out, and in the meantime Link managed to wrangle his breathing under control. Eventually, he felt confident enough in himself to not immediately try to stab maybe-Ganondorf, but he did pull the mirror shield onto his arm. He felt better when he had it out.
Link specifically kept his shield between himself and maybe-Ganondorf as they approached, Malon keeping a hand on his arm. The conversation petered out as they made it up.
Maybe-Ganondorf clapped his hands together, which had Link pulling up the shield and tensing. The maybe-Ganondorf paused, then spread his hands.
“I understand that someone who looked like me tried to hurt you in the past?” The man, who even sounded like Ganondorf, asked. Link was then hit again with the fact that in this timeline Ganondorf never actually tried to kill him, and even when he had it was both his past and future for a while. He nodded, not willing to dwell on the details of his seven year sleep and subsequent return to childhood. The man grimaced. “I am truly sorry then. My name is Greg, I am a good, friend, of Bowser’s, and I can assure you I am not the same man who wanted to see you come to harm,”
Link narrowed his eyes, but did peek a little further over his shield.
There was a long, tense moment where Link just looked over Greg, trying to decide how he felt about him. After several heartbeats where Link found nothing but honesty, he nodded and lowered the shield some. He didn’t put it away however.
Greg grinned, nodding back.
“You can probably put the shield away now,” Queen Peach offered gently.
Link just tightened his grip on the reflective defense and pulled it closer to himself.
“I don’t think that’s happening,” Malon said gently, squeezing his arm some. “It’s just, well, I’m sure it just makes him feel a little better, what with the situation and all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never got better around male Gerudo,” she tried to laugh.
“What’s a Gerudo?” Greg asked.
Link dropped the shield to his side and made a face.
(---)
The rest of the day was spent being introduced to a few others of Queen Peach’s friends, and then later avoiding Greg as best he could, and even watching Malon play some of the minigames with her sister.
Link felt a little bad about avoiding Greg, but he looked so much like Ganondorf that he really didn’t trust himself not to hurt the man. Better to just avoid him.
They were invited to spend the night at Peach’s castle, after which they’d return to the carnival the next day.
Somehow, between meeting Mario and crashing for the night, the plumber convinced him to agree to a race.
Link didn’t know how to use any of the racing machines they had.
He spent a great deal of time, at length, bemoaning his impulsivity to Malon, who eventually got tired enough with him to track down her stepfather and get him to teach Link to use one of the machines. Mario, to his credit, was surprisingly understanding and more than helpful.
It didn’t take long to decide Link would do better on a bike than in a kart.
Link also needed to help repair a wall later.
These are related.
“Alright,” Mario rubbed his hands together as he coached Link through the basics. “This-a thing here? That’s-a the brakes. You pull on-a those to slow down. This-a piece you twist, and that makes-a you go! You see?”
Link nodded slowly, pulling on the lever for the brakes and twisting the handle.
“Okay, let’s-a do one lap around the track, and-a see how you do,” Mario nodded back waving at the track. “Let’s-a go!”
Link gave a sharp nod, taking a deep breath as he did. This would be his fifth try at this.
Malon gave him a pair of thumbs up from the sidelines, grinning at him. He was glad she was more confident in him than he was.
He slowly twisted the handle, the machine puttering to life (a phrase Link was distinctly uncomfortable with) and eased forward gently. After a few moments he was increasing speed around the oval track, getting more comfortable with using the bike. He avoided the jumps he could, but managed to not wipe out on the ones he couldn’t. Slowing to a stop in front of Malon and Mario, he felt distinctly proud of himself for not crashing.
Malon jumped up from where she was sitting, clapping happily as she bounced over to hug him.
“You didn’t crash that time!” She grinned. “You’re getting better!”
‘I am,’ Link grinned back, a group of bees set loose in his chest alongside the happiness.
“You’re-a doing so much better! Now, let’s-a maybe think about getting better with the jumps, hm?” Mario clapped as he approached.
Link nodded, signing his response slowly. Mario knew Mushroom Kingdom Sign, but not Hylian Sign, and the two had some differences. This meant communication was slow going, which was partly why Malon was there.
They spent a few more hours, and a lot more crashing, practicing the jumps. Apparently there were a lot of jumps in these races.
By the time they decided to take a break for lunch, Link was covered in bruises but could also reasonably be trusted to not crash every time he attempted a jump, which was much better than he was when they started.
“Oh my! What happened to you?” Peach gasped, looking over the group as they arrived to join the queen and the rest of the family for lunch.
‘Learned the jumps,’ Link signed at her, grinning maybe a bit wider than he needed to.
“The bruises were self-inflicted,” Malon told everyone, dragging Link over to sit between Talon and Rosalina with her. “He’s gotten very good at crashing. And at not crashing, but that skill’s taking longer,”
Rosalina started giggling. “Well, it seems we all have a type,”
Link looked at her in confusion while he let Malon set up plates for them.
“What do you mean?” Peach asked.
Rosalina pointed at her mother. “You married dad, who is prone to extreme spots. And turns sports that aren’t extreme sports into extreme sports. I have never seen someone make golf a full contact sport other than him,” she turned her finger to Malon. “Malon has brought home a boy who is firstly more than willing to participate in said extreme sports, and, Mal you said he works for your Queen, right?”
Malon nodded. “He’s technically part of the royal guard, but really he’s just sent out to go deal with monsters when Her Majesty can’t do it herself. He comes back bleeding a lot,” she sent him a halfhearted glare. He smiled innocently in response.
“Right,” Rosalina nodded. “He’s prone to come back bleeding. And the last time I saw Sammy, she was also bleeding and bruised because she got in a fight with a robot that nearly kicked her, erm, butt,” she cleared her throat and paused until she got a nod from her mother, then continued. “Right, so, my point is we have a type, and it’s the same one,”
“And that type is?” Malon asked.
“People who are prone to getting hurt,”
Link felt mildly like he should be offended by that, but Malon was just nodding along so he decided to drop it. It wasn’t like he could argue, after all.
“Oh, is your girlfriend coming?” Malon asked, handing Link a plate but focusing on her sister.
Link didn’t know what some of the things on his plate were, and lightly poked at one of the mushrooms. This is why he decided to let Malon grab food for him.
“She should be, she told me she’d try at least,” Rosalina nodded. “But, well, you know how busy she can be sometimes. Her job doesn’t allow her a lot of free time,”
Malon nodded. “I get that. It can be hard dating someone who spends so much time away getting in fights,”
She gave Link a side eye and he paused halfway into a bite. Was she mad at him? Or was this one of those joking jab things? He couldn’t quite tell the difference yet. She didn’t seem like she was mad at him. Maybe she was trying to relate to her sister? Wait, what did her sister’s girlfriend do that he’d be a comparison?
He figured he’d ask.
Apparently Sammy was a mercenary (“She fights things for money,” Malon told him. “Kind of like you do, but you work for the Queen and she works for herself,”), and that meant she spent a lot of time away and then coming back injured. Like Link did.
“You’d probably get along with her really well,” Malon offered, subtly adding more of the thing he’d already cleared off his plate to his portion. “You can bond over killing things and getting hurt and worrying your girlfriends about the fact that you’re out killing things and getting hurt all alone,”
Link frowned at her and narrowed his eyes. The worst part was that he couldn’t even argue, she was right. He did spend a lot of time killing things and getting hurt and worrying her, and he did do most of it alone.
That thought sort of made his chest ache. He wouldn’t be alone if he still had Navi, but he hadn’t been able to find her yet. He didn’t want to sour the atmosphere though, so he pushed that thought to the side and shoved Malon’s shoulder in retaliation.
Malon shoved him back, laughing, and Link didn’t bother fighting the grin on his face. It was moments like this that made the trauma and the longing easier to deal with.
They spent some more time practicing the jumps for the race Link had gotten himself roped into and introducing him to the ‘power ups’, and then wandered around the festival grounds until dinner, where they retired to the castle. Link found out quickly that the power ups were made with people way more durable than him in mind. A conversation started about finding an item or something that might help protect him a bit.
Malon had pulled out a health potion she insisted Link drink to heal up the bruises he’d acquired when they heard the, whirring? Link didn’t know what to make of that sound, but he did know he should figure it out.
Which is how Link ended up carefully crossing the entryway of the castle, eyes on the front door, Malon frustrated and following behind him.
Rosalina came barrelling down a stairwell just as Link got to the door, startling him.
“Don’t mind Link,” Malon rolled her eyes. “He’s just never heard the sound of a ship landing before,”
Ship?
“So that was her ship I saw!” Rosalina pushed past Link, who made a strangled noise as she did, and ran out the door.
Link followed, hand on his sword, just in case, and froze.
Someone was standing on the bridge to the castle, wearing dark orange armor and standing easily as tall as a gerudo, maybe taller. Link couldn’t make out much more from that, since the armor covered them head to toe, and their helmet covered their entire head and face. It also looked shinier than any armor he’d ever seen before.
This person caught Rosalina when she threw herself at them, lifting her up and spinning them both around. A sort of mechanical laugh came from the armored person.
Link turned to Malon.
“That’s Samus, Rosy’s girlfriend,” Malon explained. “Come on, let’s go say hi!”
Malon headed down the bridge to where Samus had set Rosalina down. Link stayed where he was, the Luma that followed Rosalina around coming up to float next to him. Luma yawned, and Link offered it a small smile. They must have been getting ready for bed when Samus arrived.
“Link!” He turned at Malon’s shout, seeing her wave at him. “Come meet Samus!”
Samus had pulled off her helmet, revealing tied back blonde hair and pale skin. So, not gerudo, just tall.
He offered Luma a sympathetic shrug and wandered over.
“Link, this is Samus,” Malon waved between them as Link came up. “Samus, this is my boyfriend, Link. He’s mute, so he speaks using sign, but he can hear you just fine,”
“Hello, Link,” Samus offered him a smile, signing in very choppy Hylian Sign as she spoke, and then offered her hand to shake. “It’s nice to meet you,”
Link signed slowly as he replied, figuring Samus might appreciate it, and then accepted her handshake.
They didn’t stay standing there for long since it was already getting quite dark. Link offered to help Samus move in some of her things, since she was apparently staying for a few weeks between jobs, which is how he found himself pulling on his golden gauntlets to pick up a very heavy suitcase to carry inside. Samus had the other very heavy case, and Malon and Rosalina helped carry in the rest of it.
Once Samus was settled Malon resumed her crusade to get Link to drink the rest of the health potion.
(---)
The next time Link ran into Samus was right before his race. They hadn’t found something to help with the power ups yet, though he did receive a racing suit to wear in case he crashed.
He stopped mid-sign as something heavy dropped round his neck.
He turned to look down at the item, some kind of medallion on a chain. There was some kind of bird on it, and some kind of writing he couldn’t read, though he didn’t expect to be able to. It didn’t feel magical, but it did sort of, hum in his hands.
He turned around to blink up at the person who dropped in on him. Which turned out to be Samus.
She wasn’t wearing the armor, instead wearing just a skin-tight blue outfit that showed off her abs and the muscles in her arms. She had a lot of muscle. Link started doubting his conclusion that she wasn’t somehow part gerudo.
“I heard you were worried about being durable enough to compete,” Samus explained when Link made a confused motion at the medallion. “That should help,”
‘How?’ Link asked.
“It’s an old bit of tech I picked up but haven’t needed in a long while,” Samus explained.
Link spent a moment finger spelling out that word and trying to remember where he heard it before.
“It’s like magic, but not magic,” Rosalina appeared to lean behind Samus, who towered over her even when she was standing straight. “Sammy you need to remember they don’t even have video screens in Hyrule, you’re going to confuse him,”
“Oh,” Samus blinked, looking between them. “Uh, sorry,”
Link waved her off and assured her it was fine, and then asked for more clarification on the item she just gave him.
“I figured it would solve your durability issue,” Samus explained. “For the race,”
Link nodded, turning it over in his hands for a minute. He tucked it under the suit, the metal oddly warm despite having only just put it on, and thanked Samus for the help.
She promised to be cheering him on, which was met by a huff and light shove from Rosalina, who was also racing.
The medallion did help. It didn’t quite put him on par with the native residents of the Mushroom Kingdom, but it did keep him from getting seriously hurt by some of the more extreme power ups.
Seriously, some of them were just insane.
He didn’t win, but he did come about middle of the pack, which he was quite proud of.
Samus let him keep the medallion, since he could probably get more use out of it than she would, and then Rosalina dragged them all out to get some star pastries to celebrate the fact she won.
Samus ended up far more confident in her Hylian Sign by the end of the day, mostly due to her and Link being dragged about the faire by their girlfriends as they competed in a few minigames. Samus had asked for some help practicing when she noticed Link was a bit uncomfortable with some of the minigames.
Link decided he liked Samus.
He especially liked it when their girlfriends got back and Rosalina had fake-whispered to Malon “Oh no, they’re teaming up!” and all four of them started laughing.
They stayed for a week, the length of the carnival, but they did have to get back to Hyrule. It didn’t help that Sheik had likely tried dealing with everything himself, and as such the kingdom had to deal with the Queen slipping out to fight things.
Once they’d said goodbye, with promises to write between Malon and her family, they climbed back into the little carriage thing they’d arrived in and Link turned to Malon immediately.
‘You’ll bring me with you next time too, right?’
Malon laughed, and agreed to bring him with the next time they were invited.
Neither of them had fully expected Link to get a letter a few weeks after they got home, but sure enough, it was his name written in the alphabet used by the Mushroom Kingdom.
It was decided that they should probably teach him how to read that alphabet after that.
The small package he received from Rosalina a few years later with her and Malon’s grandmother’s engagement ring after he’d proposed with a little note that the ring he’d found was way too flashy was probably to be expected. Even he and Malon had agreed on that the day before. They did switch out the rings, and though the old Queen’s ring was still a bit fancy for a farm girl, it wasn’t going to accidentally blind someone.
He figured he’d pass off Queen Peach’s offer to plan their wedding to Zelda, who had also already decided she wanted to plan it.
Let people who actually knew what they were doing plan it, he’d focus on making sure he was mostly uninjured come the day of. He’d just help with the invitation list.
This, he learned later, was a very smart call.
#legend of zelda#ocarina of time#mario#link#malon#princess peach#rosalina#samus#yes from metroid#do samus and rosalina have a ship name?#idk but they're space lesbians#how do i even tag this???#oh uh#anxiety attack#link has one of those#he's fine! just traumatized#oh and greg!#greg#greg-who-is-not-ganondorf is my favorite crack character ever#i love him#mario party#mario kart#i don't know how else to tag this so#here you go!
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Reference List for amiibo Fighter Names (Set 4)
37) Pichu : Zap Nezumi - Those who have been with my channel for awhile might remember a cute and charming Mega Man style game called Nezumiman. I love that game so much and would love to see a sequel. Squeakuel?... Anyway. Most of the bosses were dubbed (Element) Nezumi, depending on their power. So Pichu gets to fill in as Zap Nezumi! Up top we have all the various stage bosses, and Pichu is dressed in all the fashion items Nezumiman gets for beating them. He’s got Perfect Fashion! Which according to Nezumiman, also involves having Dr. Gyoniku’s butt in the background.
38) Pikachu : Agent 25 - Actually a self reference, this one. Agent 25 is a “character” that has appeared in some of my silly bits I’ve done for past videos. Theoretically his real name is Conduit, my Lv. 100 Pikachu, but he serves as an agent for me, going by the codename Agent 25 (his Pokédex number), protecting me from annoying talent agents trying to zap me with a dragon prod for taking time off. We went with a full-on James Bond style for this one. A minor detail, the display of PokéBalls in the nameplate having five empty circles before it is supposed to reference the display showing how many Pokémon a trainer has in a battle, thus, he’s the only one here.
39) Pit : Icarusicus - What can I say, I grew up with Captain N as a kid. Back then, as a gamer, you took whatever media you could get. Captain N was cheesy as heck, and got a lot of source details WAY wrong, but it was still fun in its own weird way. In that cartoon, Pit was instead simply named Kid Icarus, and had a habit of inserting “-icus” at the end of everything he said. So here the more modern Pit is faced with a blast from the past, his cartoony old weapons and contact from Kevin and Princess Lana. Neo added more details, like some Mega Man sprites recolored and restyled to look like characters in Captain N. Including a Simon Belmont sprite given his look from the cartoon, blue bomber jacket and blond hair and all. The building shown is the Palace of Power, Princess Lana’s base of operations.
40) Pokémon Trainer : RedVersion - Again a self contained reference to Pokémon. The trainer he’s based on is Red as he appears in Fire Red and Leaf Green. Thus, RedVersion, in reference to the original Red Version of Pokémon. Neo and I both had the idea to try to pose the Pokemon and Red himself like how they’re posed in the original game sprites. Neo also went an extra step, using minimalist colors to mimic how the sprites looked on a Game Boy Color or Super Game Boy. While I do like the idea, I might ask to stick with full color just to mimic the amiibo itself if we do indeed redo these. The overall look of the card was designed to look somewhat like the original Pokédex.
41) Robin : ShipREKT - Again, Fire Emblem is not exactly my area of expertise. But this silly idea came to mind, knowing Robin’s game has a lot of “pairing people up to increase bonds” mechanics. Sooooo Shipping : The Game. So I just had the silly idea of drawing him in super charming anime style. Of all things, I think I was largely influenced by a scene from the Unova episodes of Pokémon where a male Minccino was using Charm. I suppose this is a good time to mention that, in cases where only one figure was released for a character, I go with that style for them, so for instance, there’s only a male Robin card, only a female Wii Fit Trainer card, no wireframe Little Mac, no Koopalings, etc.
42) ROB : Spin Cycle - I mean, ROB’s all about spinning his gyros, that’s really all there is to this one. The colored swirl in the background was supposed to mimic the red and blue colors of the gates from Gyromite that he’d help you move. However, it also kinda looks like the colors of those infamous Tide pods. Which... I mean, spin cycle IS a laundry term, so yay accidental references?...
43) Rosalina : Cosmic Mama - I love Katamari! Seriously given that was a Namco game, I would have loved it if some Katamari music got in on the Pac-Man stage. Ah well. This was one of those where I just couldn’t resist the reference and sneaking the Half Inch Prince into the picture. Neo further personalized some of the Lumas, as well as adding the famous “I feel it! I feel the cosmos!” quote.
44) Samus : Chozen One - A self contained Metroid reference, and a silly pun. Samus is the “Chosen One” in the sense that a lot of Chozo prophecies as seen in the Prime series seem to center around her actions. So just a combination of Chosen and Chozo. I had worried that Samus would be hard to draw in Visio Home, but it turned out to be really good for drawing the defined lines of her suit.
45) Sheik : HARP HERO - While I’ve never actually played any of the Guitar Hero games, the fact that Sheik generally just follows you around to teach you new songs via her harp made this idea stick with me. A shame she doesn’t use her harp for anything in Smash... Seriously feels weird that she doesn’t. Anyway, I had the track display the notation for Bolero of Fire. For some reason, the scene of her teaching you this one just stuck with me as a kid as one of the most iconic scenes with her. This was also drawn before we started putting character icons in the nameplates. In his version, Neo added the Sheikah eye symbol to the nameplate.
46) Shulk : RA1NFALL - This is a reference to Project Rainfall, a community effort to coax publishers into localizing a few select games in the US. If memory serves, Xenoblade Chronicles was the first and perhaps most prominent game to have been part of this effort, hence my putting a 1 in the name. I didn’t really have a good solid way of drawing rain in Visio Home, so Neo added that on his end. Really this one probably saw the most changes between versions, as I really had very limited info on Xenoblade. My frame as such is.... really clunky looking. Neo was able to make something far better looking on his version. The symbol on Shulk’s Monado here means “rain,” so, uh.... umbrella utility!
47) Sonic : SpeedRacer - A reference to the anime of the same name. Sonic here is posed like Speed after he jumps out of the Mach Five during the Speed Racer title sequence. Meanwhile Sonic’s car here is the one he drives in Sonic All Stars Racing Transformed, as well as being on the game’s Starlight Carnival track. Neo gave me the idea to have a Coconuts peeking out of the trunk of the car to mimic Chim-Chim, the monkey mascot of the Speed Racer team that had a habit of stowing away in Speed’s trunk while he was racing.
48) King Dedede : ThreeDeDe - A joke on 3D imagery, such as that found on the Nintendo 3DS. The first Kirby game for the 3DS, Triple Deluxe, even had a mode where you played as King Dedede on his own adventure, so hey, him celebrating this moment of glory does not seem out of character for him.
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Corrupted Memories Pt. 5
-Back at the Mansion-
Terry, steps through the door: Hey everyone! What's up!? My name's Terry Bogard! Are you all ok? (Looks around)... ... ...Hey where is...Anyone? I thought the whole point was "Everyone is Here"
Sans: Hey there bud. How are ya?
Terry: ... ... ...A talking skeleton?
Sans: Yep. The names Sans nice ta meet ya. (Holds out his hand)
Terry: I'm Terry! (Shakes Sans' hand only to be electrocuted) ... ... ...
Sans: Now that was "Shocking" wasn't it? (Reveals a Joy buzzer on his hand)
Terry: Ok skeleton man I've only known you for a few minutes... ... ...
Sans: ... ...
Terry: And you are now my best friend.
Sans: Nice.
Samus: Hey there are you guys new here?
Terry: Yep.
Samus: If you wanna know where the others are well. They're all in space visiting Popstar.
Terry: What's that then? And why haven't you gone? Aren't you the chick with the gunship?
Samus: Yes I am and I'm not going because it's a dangerous place filled with the most powerful beings in existence. That enough?
Sans leaves the room for a second.
Terry: ... ... ...Wait you fight Jesus?
Samus: Well I don't, but Kirby does... ... ...Kinda. THEY'RE NOT EVEN JESUS!
Terry: WAIT SO THEY'RE STRONGER THAN JESUS!?
Samus: NO!
Simon, on the phone: We talkin about Jesus?
Samus: (Hangs up) Ok. All you need to know is that it isn't safe out there in Popstar which is why me & Link are staying here.
Terry: ...A bit boring tho yeah? Aren't you supposed to take risks as a hero?
Samus: Yeah but-
Sans, suddenly crashed through the mansion walls with Samus' gunship.
Sans, to Terry: Get in loser we're going to space!
Samus: HOW THE HECK'D YOU FIND THAT!?
Terry: ALRIGHT! (Jumps in through the ship window)
Samus: Gaaaah! Fine! You go then! It'll be your funeral.
________
-Back in Space-
Meta Knight: Prepare for landing everyone Popstar is here.
Meta Knight landed the Halberd in it's Hangar.
Meta Knight: Ok everyone once we get outside stay sharp the citizens here can range from cute & harmless to completely devastating. Usually, Kirby is here to keep them in check but... ... ...Yeah despite that, be aware of everything. In the meantime I will sort out the Kirby dilemma. (Flys away) Oh and also...Please don't die.
Rosalina: That's reassuring.
They stepped outside.
Donkey Kong: This place doesn't seem to bad.
Diddy Kong: You were probably just exaggerating Meta Knight.
They said as a Bugzy relentlessly suplexed an innocent Waddle Dee.
Donkey Kong: See they're wrestling.
Sheik: Whatever you say.
King Dedede: ALRIGHT! Settle down! Allow me to introduce you. To Dreamland!!!
Kazooie played the Jurassic Park theme with her kazoo.
King Dedede: Thanks Kazooie here's your bird seed as promised.
Kazooie: Pleasure doing buisness with ya.
King Dedede: Now listen up chumps! You are all being given the oppurtunity to stay in my Castle as a little thanks for coming.
Bandana Dee: You have each been segregated in terms of gender. So girls share rooms with other girls & boys with other boys.
Mewtwo Raises hand.
Bandana Dee: You can pick whatever side you want.
Mewtwo lowers hand.
Joker: We'll be staying in an actual Palace. Huh. Well. Life will change.
Ryuji: Yeah emphasis on the change.
King Dedede: Just make sure you keep away from monsters they will kill you.
Chara: Sounds like my kinda party :)
Joker: No. You aren't partying today.
Chara: WHY ARE YOU SUCH A MOM REN!?
Rosalina: Joker & Sheik? Can I talk with you guys?
Sheik: What's up Rosa?
Rosalina: Can I ask a favour of you guys?
Joker: Sure thing what is it?
Rosalina: Can you help me find out about what happened to Dedede!?
Sheik: Huh? You mean with like. The memory wipe?
Rosalina: Yes. I've tried several things. I reset the timelines several times but not once has anything happened. You guys are great at stealth and adventuring you guys could help me out.
Donkey Kong: What're we talkin about?
Rosalina: Depends if I tell you will you help out?
Donkey Kong: Sure why not.
Rosalina: So here's the deal. (Shows them a photo) This mask has caused Dedede to go pretty much a memoriless husk centuries ago.
Joker: Centuries!? How old are you guys?
Rosalina: You'd be super surprised Ren.
Chara: What's all this talk about the penguin?
Donkey Kong: Who?
Chara: ...Dedede.
Donkey Kong: Dedede's a penguin!?
Chara: ... ...I give up on life.
Joker: Heheh. How about we talk about this later?
Rosalina: Yes let's before DK loses more braincells.
Donkey Kong: How long has he been a penguin?
Sheik: (whispers) Since the beginning.
((Megalovania Intensifies))
Cut to Terry and Sans headbanging to Megalovania in Samus' gunship.
Terry: Listen and hear a song the birds are singing!
Sans: Sit down a while and watch the flowers bloomin'!
Terry & Sans: This! Is! Your! Fault right!
Sans: Standing in the corridor!
Terry: Who thought we'd be here like this together!?
Sans: On a gorgeous day like this I ask what is it that you want!?
Terry: I belie-... ...Wait a second? Is that that Kirby guy outside?
Sans: I don't know. Never met the dude in person.
Terry: He's said to be the strongest hero in video game history.
Sans: So we're both agreeing that Kirby is the giant floating eyeball talking with a large warlock man?
Terry: Yup.
Sans: Cool.
-Further through space-
Ganondorf, holding Kirby: Kirby villains! I've come to bargain!
A deafening silence ensues as the shadows of many powerful figures looms overhead.
To Be Continued>>
#incorrect quotes#smash bros#terry bogard#fatal fury#sans#chara#undertale#king dedede#meta knight#bandana dee#kirby#samus#metroid#banjo kazooie#simon belmont#castlevania#ryuji#joker#persona 5#rosalina#super mario bros#sheik#ganondorf#legend of zelda#donkey kong#diddy kong#donkey kong country#incorrect smash bros#submission#incorrectsmashbrosquotes
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Question, what do the mods ship?
My OTPs are Rosalina/Samus and Richter/Lucina. They’re the only ships I bother to find content for aside from curiosity. The bias this blog has towards these ships is at least partially my own doing. The latter is mostly my own doing, actually.
I’m also a fan of the dynamic Daisy and Luigi canonically have and ship them, but I don’t ship them that much in a Smash context.
Oh, and of course, the Ice Climbers. I mention this to remain consistent.
I generally agree with Mod Ness shippingwise, so if they say they ship something, I agree but I don’t feel strongly enough about it to hone in on it.
I also have a couple of major notps, namely Nes///cas and Chro///bin. I actually put slashes in them not because I think they’re “bad” ships, but just so the mention that I really don’t like them doesn’t pop up in their search.
- Mod Lucina
–
Yep, I agree with pretty much everything Mod Lucina said down to the OTPs and NOTPs, except that I ship Luigi/Daisy hard in a Smash context as well.
I’d like to make an updated version of my old ship meme using this template, but mine will have way too many lines and take forever to make, so I plan on doing it some other time. :3
Until then, here’s a non-comprehensive, unordered list of notable ships:
Zelda/LucinaShulk/Lucina (Mod Lucina and I agree that she is very shippable)Roy/CorrinBayonetta/PeachBayonetta/PalutenaLink/CloudLittle Mac/RyuWolf/FoxWolf/IsabelleKing K. Rool/King DededeSimon/Luigi
Any combination of Captain Falcon/Samus/Snake (including the OT3) are ships I really enjoy (and a prime example of my ships conflicting with my HCs)
I don’t have a consistent Smash OTP for Ness these days (my overall OTP is Ness/Paula and I dabble in Ness/Jeff and AU!Ness/Porky) but lately Ness/Orange or Blue Inkling is cute.
I often OTP canon ships where possible, but I’m a multishipper at heart.
- Mod Ness
#everybody is here#mod lucina#mod ness#chihiro-and-byakuya#ssb#super smash bros ultimate#super smash bros#ssbu#shipping
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Smash Characters and people who main them
So, I was thinking about who mains certain Smash characters. Aaaand I got these ideas.
Mario: Probably Mickey Mouse. Or Emmet from the Lego Movie franchise idk
DK: Surely not King Kong because he has big hands and would break a Joy-Con just by touching it, not even a GameCube controller is safe. 100% Winston from Overwatch is the candidate, even better if he takes the blue DK skin lol
Link: Sora. This one is easy as hell.
Samus: Tony Stark is the first option that comes to mind.
Dark Samus: And since Rhodes can’t use Samus, might as well use the OTHER Samus lol
Yoshi: It is canonically stated in Deltarune that Asriel Dreemurr mains him and loves him to death.
Fox: I’m not sure how a red pirate fox animatronic holds a Joy-Con or two but probably Foxy from FNAF is the perfect main here.
Pikachu: It’s either Agumon or Jibanyan, too easy. Also put Jibanyan in Smash Sakurai pls
Luigi: Probably Donald Duck to parallel Mickey, the only difference between the two would be that Donald has a short temper while Luigi is a cowardly lion (and the plumber-sailor thing)
Ness: *MEGALOVANIA AND GAME THEORY INTRO INTENSIFIES* Ok jokes aside I think John Egbert and/or Sans are good candidates as Smash main.
Captain Falcon: Raphael, the red turtle from the Teena- wait why am I explaining an obvious character. His bros collectively main another character.
Jigglypuff: D.Va, full stop. She is a bunny person but may also love a Jigglypuff (now I want a drawing of Hana hugging the Puff help me)
Peach: Sooo, let’s see...Mickey has Mario... Donald has Luigi... I think you know where I’m going with this one.
Daisy: OH GOD I JUST REALIZED THAT DAISY DUCK MAINS PRINCESS DAISY, IT’S A “HI I’M-DAISY-CEPTION!”
Bowser: Is there any drawing of Bowser cosplaying as Peg-Leg Pete and viceversa? I’d die for that, it would be hella funny, especially with Mario and Mick dying from laughter in the distance.
Ice Climbers: Hmmm...twins...you can use them to make icy puns...I KNOW! IT’S GEORGE AND FRED
Sheik: Literally any of the ninjas from Lego Ninjago, bonus points for Lloyd.
Zelda: I have literally no damn ide-oh wait. I can use literally any blonde Disney princess lol
Dr. Mario: Undecided between Sorcerer Apprentice!Mickey and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
Pichu: Shogunyan makes the most sense to me. I don’t know a lot about any other Digimon so I’m sorry if I don’t have Digimon ideas for Pichu.
Falco: I don’t know why but the thought of Chica maining Falco makes me laugh. Not that I ship Fox and Falco, of course, but seeing my FNAF OTP using two best pals looks funny enough to me
Any Fire Emblem character that is not Robin or Corrin: I literally have no damn idea.
Young Link: The first one that came to mind was Kenny from South Park and I don’t know, don’t even ask me
Ganondorf: I can just see Gamora giving Thanos a copy of Smash for the Switch and him curbstomping people as Ganondorf
Mewtwo: I still think that Beerus is an AU version of Mewtwo. If Beerus wasn’t a lazy dickhead maybe he would have been similar to Mewtwo.
Mr. Game & Watch: Bendy. Just, Bendy. And not even moster Bendy, just, regular Bendy.
Meta Knight: I wonder how much does Bruce Wayne play Smash when he is not being Batman. Although it’s probably possible that his favourite is Brawl.
Pit: I can just see Tony Stark losing at Smash against Pit and saying: “Fuck you, Barton.” AHAHAHAHAH
Dark Pit: This is for Hawkeye post-Decimation. Sorry if u lost ur family pal. Really sorry. I wanna kick Thanos in the groin for this.
Zero Suit Samus: Of course Natasha Romanoff mains Zero Suit Samus. Fanservice girl for fanservice girl.
Wario: I know Roadhog isn’t greedy and doesn’t care a lot about money except for his fee from Junkrat but he looks like the perfect Wario main in my opinion.
Snake: A spy for a spy. The name is Snake. Solid Snake. *mashup of James Bond theme and Encounter plays in the distance*
Pokèmon Trainer: Literally Ash Ketchum is the only possible choice here.
Diddy Kong: Uuuuh, the Apes from Ape Escape. Yup.
Lucas: Ok listen up, it’s Darwin Watterson. A squishy adorable fish boi for an adorable psychic blondie kid. It’s the perfect matchup! Almost...(Thank god Ninten is not yet in Smash)
Sonic: Me. What, can’t I reclaim one of my mains? The fella here introduced me to gaming with Sonic Rivals on the PSP. Thank god I didn’t buy a PS3 or ‘06.
Dedede: King Candy from Wreck-It Ralph. At least before he reveals himself as the fucker known as Turbo.
Olimar: Keroro from Sgt. Frog. Don’t ask.
Lucario: Sasuke? Idk
R.O.B.: Shared between C-3P0, R2-D2 and BB-8. Easy.
Wolf: Idk Boris the Wolf? I really dunno I suck at this.
Toon Link: Happy from Fairy Tail. JUST LOOK AT HOW MUCH OF A CAT TOON LINK DOES LOOK LIKE
Villager: Chara from Undertale. I don’t need to explain this.
Mega Man: Give me any blue Power Ranger.
Wii Fit Trainer: Hard one. I have no idea help
Rosalina and Luma: IT’S TINKERBELL
Little Mac: *Rocky theme intensifies* ROCKYYYYYYYYYYY BALBOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA
Greninja: Naruto full stop
Palutena: Cosmos from FF Dissidia.
Mii Fighters: The Xbox avatars. I think this one was pretty obvious.
Pac-Man: Donnie, Mikey and Leo all collectively main Pac. Best part they stop literally any attempt from Raph to spam Falcon Punches lol.
Robin: *Hedwig’s Theme intensifies*
Shulk:...Kirito?
Bowser Jr.: My other main, the one I use the most. For you, I shall summon the perfect main! *Lancer pops out from nowhere*
Duck Hunt: It’s Pluto. You know, Mickey’s dog? Jeez, why doesn’t Disney focus a little more on Pluto?
Ryu: KAME....HAME...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Ken: *insert Vegeta reference here*
Cloud: FINAL FANTASY TIME, COME ON AND GRAB YOUR FRIENDS, WE’LL GO TO VERY DISTANT LAANDS, WITH JAKE THE DOG AND FINN THE CLUD STRIFE MAIN- ok enough I think you understood the reference.
Corrin: Danaerys Tyrgaryen. Did...did I write that right? I really dunno
Bayonetta: *Insert Dante quote here*
Inkling: de Blob. You...you don’t know de Blob? You should go check that game, it’s fire.
Ridley: Smaug. I know, I’m out of ideas.
Simon: Van Helsing, of course.
Richter: ...I HATE WHEN i AM OUT OF IDEAS
King K. Rool: Does Godzilla count? Or is he a King Kong issue? Ok no wait, any member from the Croc tribe of Legends of Chima is fine
Isabelle: Lucy Heartphilia, easy.
Incineroar: Ok, listen up, before I get in this one, I DO NOT SHIP ISABELLE WITH INCINEROAR. That being said.....Natsu. I can just imagine him and Lucy playing Smash in such an intense way while Happy just plays calmly and beats both lol
Pirahna Plant: Actually the first one that came to mind and gave me the idea for this post. Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Cause, you know, teeth.
Joker: Robin Hood. I know Joker is not an archer user but the gentleman thief thing is there after all
Sorry for the long post, here is the word “potato”. See ya next time and if you have any ideas for missing characters I’d be glad to get them
#headcanon#smash mains#super smash bros#it 2017#robin hood#fairy tail#godzilla#legends of chima#van helsing#de blob#dmc#middle earth#got#adventure time#dragon ball#disney#deltarune#undertale#homestuck#lots of others#i don't have time sorry
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My Top 10 HOTTEST women in Gaming!
So, I thought I would take a step back today and do something completely different. Today I wanted to bring attention to some of gaming’s sexiest ladies. These are based totally on personal preference of what I see as hot: inside and outside. I learned a thing or two about myself making this list, and I’m sure that you might learn a few things about me as well.
10. Sabrina (Pokemon Blue)
Misty may be cute, but Sabrina has always been beautiful to me. Not only is she intelligent, skilled, and a little bit intimidating, but she also has a sense of humor and great taste in fashion as well!
9. Rainbow Mika (Street Fighter Alpha 3)
Speaking of fashion sense, you’ll find no qualms here about this lady’s attire. R. Mika is one well-built woman, and not afraid to show it. Underneath the mask, frills, and cute pigtails, though, is a dedicated, disciplined athlete that I wouldn’t want to mess with!
8. Rosalina (Super Mario Galaxy)
I have to admit, the first time I saw Rosalina I thought, “Oh geez. Here’s Nintendo trying to stay relevant with the kids with an emo Princess Peach.” But after playing the game, I saw her for who she is: one of the most (if not THE most) interesting and fleshed out characters in the Mario series. The gorgeous daughter of Peach and Luigi (you heard me ;) is a caring, protective mother to the Luma. She also knows how to dress cute for any sporting occasion. Butseriouslyhaveyouseenherinhersportsoutfitslikeherbodysuitforracingtennisdressorleotard *heavy breathing* And now, I kinda dig her style.
NOTE: Rosalina is the eldest gal to make the list, being a few hundred years old!
7. Twintelle (ARMS)
Mm. Sophisticated, stylish, striking hair (pun intended), all wrapped up in this one accomplished business woman. Of course, I can’t help but call attention to those PERFECT HIPS IN THOSE LEATHER PANTS! GAAAAAAAAAAAH! … Sorry. Moving on.
6. Miria (The Guardian Legend)
Digging deep in the archives of gaming history, how could I not mention the Guardian herself? In a time when Nintendo had to wait until the end of the game to reveal their sci-fi badass’s gender, Miria had no need to hide her femininity while blasting all foes in her way. Not only is this bikini-clad astro-warrior beautiful, but she can also transform into a space ship. It’s the best of both the She-Ra and Transformers worlds!
5. Princess Daphne (Dragon’s Lair)
*Sigh* So… Up to this point I’ve made it a point to point out the sexiness of each female’s personality, but I have to honestly admit… Princess Daphne has the personality of a rock and is the definition of the tired and offensive “damsel in distress” trope. That being said, I had to allow myself this one (very) guilty pleasure. The eyes, the smile, the exaggerated voice, the way she moves all drive me crazy. Damn you, Don Bluth, for creating such an infuriatingly drop-dead ditz!
NOTE: Daphne, to my knowledge, is the only married lady to make it on the list. Dirk, you lucky sunuvagun.
4. Sarah Bryant (Virtual Fighter 5)
Like a fine wine, Sarah Bryant has only gotten sexier with age. Though she’s a pretty sight to take in standing still, she’s a masterpiece in motion; her bicycle kick is one of the most beautifully devastating attacks you’ll ever see in a fighting game, and definitely one of the most satisfying to land. Not only a fearsome fighter, she’s a loving sister, and, at forty-five years of age (born July 4th, 1973) she’s one hot cougar. … Seriously, though, it’s like she’s aging in reverse.
3. Midna (The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess)
Is it her glistening eye and mischievous smile? Is it her sassy comebacks? Is it her perfect curves, or maybe her shocking red hair? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! She may have been cursed by Gannon into this form, but DAMN, if she don’t look all the sexier for it!
2. Risky Boots (Shantae: The Pirate’s Curse)
I know what some of you guys are thinking: “But, Bizz! Shantae is hotter than Risky!” Well… SHE’S SIXTEEN, YOU PERVERTS! (*ahem* excuse me) Not only is Risky Boots the cutest name on record, but she’s one tough cookie. She may have a bad girl past, but she’s not above changing her mind to do the right thing… Every once in a while. It doesn’t hurt that she has perfect skin and looks great in a bikini.
1. Samus (Metroid: Other M)
Samus Aran has always been a great role model of beauty, strength, and determination in the face of any obstacle. Personally, I like her short hair and federation uniform look. Throughout the franchise’s history she has shown a depth of character and range of emotion not commonly seen in video game women. Whatever suit or look she happens to be rocking, there’s no denying that she’s one classy lady.
There you have it: my top ten hottest pixelated screen queens. I learned a few things about myself (like, my apparent taste for older women), and was able to completely avoid being outed as a furry! :D *gives self high five*
-- Bizz
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either ignore this ask or answer all the questions you haven't gotten & want to answer
Under read more for length!
1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*
Generally the ones I previously stated. I guess I also don’t really get the Samus/Capt. Falcon/Snake triangle that came around in Brawl. As for FE, I mean, there are so many potential ships, I don’t know if I can really name any off the top of my head that I don’t get for one reason or another, aside from the ones I said already. Sothe/Micaiah is kinda in the same frame for me as Ike/Titania, though it isn’t quite as eh for me, but I still don’t get it in the sense that she meets him when he’s a child…
3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?
Possibly? I have such a bad memory for things, but if I have, it’s still a pretty rare occurrence. Even if I don’t like someone’s views, if I enjoy the way they write or the other things they post about, I’ll just steer clear of the hings I don’t particularly care for. If I see things that bother me right off the bat, I just never follow in the first place.
5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*
I wouldn’t say ruined, but the whole debacle between the Ike/Soren & Ike/Ranulf ships (or almost any ships involving Ike cause good lord people get bent out of shape sometimes) just really drive me up the wall. It makes it very hard to enjoy both on account of some of the shippers. Not all, but some for sure.
6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*
Yes! Believe it or not, I absolutely hated the Ike/Marth pairing that came about in Smash. But, I found the good content, and found an amazing partner to write with, and (clearly) my views have changed drastically.
8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*
Technically, yes, but not really over anything fandom related. Someone was just a little upset over who I choose to write with, I think.
9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?
Okay, for FE, I’m gonna say a playable character & an enemy character(s). I really, really, really don’t care for standard Corrin – I’ve seen quite a few blogs where I love the characterization they give, but general game Corrin I just find…very irritating and border cringe-y in some places (the entirety of Birthright). I feel they did a better job in Revelations (since, you know, that was the actual game…), but I still think they did a much better job with Robin.
As for villain characters…Pretty much all of the senators in RD. Literally, they’re all gross, and are the epitome of human kind at its worst. Which is their point, of course, but I still hate their guts.
As for Smash, I just…don’t really care for Sonic. I find him arrogant to a point of irritation, and I rarely enjoy serious fights against him.
10. Most disliked arc? Why?
Any time I have to use the Dawn Brigade, I love most of the characters, but dear lord, they infuriate me with how bad they are at times. I don’t know if it’s just bad luck with some, or I put more faith in them than I should, but I’m usually disappointed with the Brigade at some point in a play through.
11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?
I’m pretty sure she’s unpopular – MEG!! She’s not only a sweet bean, but she’s actually good of you train her up! Plus, come on, how can I not enjoy a larger female character who doesn’t get objectified in the game in some way for her size, and she’s not only a farmer girl, but capable of fighting!! LOVE MEG!!!
12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?
I don’t think so??
13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?
Probably that I don’t think Ike is gay. Most people seem to take that as fact, when it’s just…not. I literally have nothing against people who like to see him as gay, but please stat it as your opinion and not canon fact.
14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?
That we seem to go out of our way to tear each other down at some point over X/Y/Z topics. Though, I don’t know if this is exactly an unpopular opinion.
15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?
Boy, I wish I could even answer this…
16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?
That a show existed….
17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…
I honestly don’t think I would change any story lines, really, but I wish we had gotten something Subspace similar in Smash 4. If this falls into the same category.
18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?
Nope! Not one bit! If you like a non-mainstream ship, you go on and like it!
20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?
Fff, good question? I have no clue, honestly, maybe Mist/Rolf???
21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?
Dude, if it floats your boat, go for it. Let those freaky ships sail.
22. Popular character you hate?
Rosalina. Like, not really based on character, as I don’t know much about her aside from Smash. But, lord, I really dislike going up against her in For Glory.
23. Unpopular character you love?
I have no idea if he’s unpopular or not, but Lowen has always been my go-to mounted unit every time I play FE7.
24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?
Um, I think? Like, if you’re talking about the games, yes, I would.
25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?
Yes, I would give a little more depth to Ike’s ending, to be honest. I like the open-endedness as far as how he’s been able to appear easily in other games, but...I would have liked something a little more, especially where him leaving the Mercenaries is involved.
26. Most shippable character?
FFf, I don’t know?? That’s sort of personal opinion...And, don’t we all generally sort of see our favorites or preferred characters as more shippable than others?
27. Least shippable character?
...Gharnef?
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The Smash Tier List We ACTUALLY Care About
The Waifu/Husbando Valentines Voted Tier List!
S Tier - Too good for this world; instantly would ship with self
A Tier - High quality Waifu/Husbando
B Tier - Not a primary choice, but solid potential
C Tier - Mediocre Waifu/Husbando, too many problems to be a truly viable choice.
D Tier - PLS NO, NOT THEM
Rank Bayonetta as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) She’s got that walk but prehensile hair is kinda gross. Does she wash it? Is it oily?
Rank Bowser as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) Best dad. Spikes could probably damage my toilet though.
Rank Bowser Jr. as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) Too young and immature. Has cool toys though.
Rank Captain Falcon as a Waifu/Husbando
S (11) I WANT SOME MOVES TO BE SHOWN TONIGHT
Charizard as a Waifu/Husbando
A- (8) Not actually a dragon
Rank Cloud as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) GENKAI WO KOERU he can break my limits tonight
Rank Corrin (Male) as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) It’s generic anime boy #29513.5
Rank Corrin (Female) as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) A girl dragon with a pretty face
Rank Dark Pit as a Waifu/Husbando
B- (5) Too emo
Rank Diddy Kong as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) Too young but clearly knows his way around nuts
Rank Donkey Kong as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) He’s the first of the DK crew
Rank Dr. Mario as a Waifu/Husbando
S (11) I like a man with a degree and an advocate for self-medication
Rank Duck Hunt as a Waifu/Husbando
A (9) He knows when to hold his fire
Rank Falco as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) He fell hard in smash 4.
Rank Fox (Melee) as a Waifu/Husbando
S (11) He would finish me with a TORIYAAH and MISHUN COMPREE
Rank Fox (Smash 4) as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) I like honesty but too much is a problem
Rank Ganondorf as a Waifu/Husbando
D (1) He’s too old/slow/evil
Rank Greninja as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) I like the tongue and the ninjaness
Rank The Ice Climbers as Waifus/Husbandos
A (9) Clearly into pleasure denial and grabby shit
Rank Ike as a Waifu/Husbando
B- (5) That’s a big sword
Rank Ivysaur as a Waifu/Husbando
A (9) Tentacles. But too young.
Rank Jigglypuff as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) I do not want to sleep with Puff. But her bair can get me off anywhere.
Rank King Dedede as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) I like a man in charge.
Rank Kirby as a Waifu/Husbando
A (9) He’s cute and clearly a good sucker.
Rank Link as a Waifu/Husbando
A (9) He’s so pretty in Smash 4. And he has explosives.
Rank Little Mac as a Waifu/Husbando
C- (2) He can’t recover and he wears a purple tracksuit.
Rank Lucario as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) He gets stronger with the more damage he takes.
Rank Lucas as a Waifu/Husbando
B- (5) That hairdo. Those hexagons. And he’s like 6. That’s kinda gross.
Rank Lucina as a Waifu/Husbando
S (11) Time-traveller princess is bae.
Rank Luigi as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) Slippery fucker has no confidence.
Rank Mario as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) Solid and hours of entertainment.
Rank Marth as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) Almost as pretty as Lucina.
Rank Megaman as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) I wonder if anything other than his name is mega?
Rank Meta Knight as a Waifu/Husbando
S (11) He can shuttle loop me all night long.
Rank The Miis as Waifus/Husbandos
A- (8) They exist? I know they’re not legal though.
Rank Mr. Game and Watch as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) Lucina already fills for my flat waifu.
Rank Ness as a Waifu/Husbando
C- (2) Too young.
Rank Olimar as a Waifu/Husbando
C+ (4) I like a guy in charge.
Rank Alph as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) I like a guy in charge and wearing blue.
Rank Pac-Man as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) He swallows a lot. I like that.
Rank Palutena as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) Have you seen her trailer? Also, I like a leader girl.
Rank Peach as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) Have you seen Armada?
Rank Pichu as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) I too like being hurt when I try to do anything.
Rank Pikachu as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) Too mainstream.
Rank Pit as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) I can’t wait to corrupt this angel.
Rank The Pokemon Trainer as a Waifu/Husbando
A (9) HE WANTS TO BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS.
Rank R.O.B. as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) I hope it’s good with other toys too.
Rank Robin (Male) as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) He’s so slow.
Rank Robin (Female) as a Waifu/Husbando
A- (8) She’s a lady in charge and she can wield dark magic on me tonight.
Rank Rosalina as a Waifu/Husbando
A- (8) She’s a lady in charge and I can be her Luma tonight.
Rank Roy as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) He’s our boy.
Rank Ryu as a Waifu/Husbando
A- (8) I hope this isn’t as difficult as executing a Shoryuken.
Rank Samus as a Waifu/Husbando
A (9) Explosives, armor, and able to grab me from far away. She can charge me all night long.
Rank Sheik as a Waifu/Husbando
A- (8) It’s a ninja with a chain. I like that. I don’t like its ability to vanish on the spot.
Rank Shulk as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) Is there a Monado to make him more handsome?
Rank Snake as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) Explosives and that ass. Also that voice.
Rank Sonic as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) He has bad games.
Rank Squirtle as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) Water play, but too small.
Rank Toon Link as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) Bombs, but too young. Also gets beaten up by pigs.
Rank Villager (Male) as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) Too evil. Can sympathize since he’s buried in crippling debt.
Rank Villager (Female) as a Waifu/Husbando
C- (2) Even eviler. Can sympathize since she’s buried in crippling debt.
Rank Wario as a Waifu/Husbando
D (1) Too smelly and I don’t like his games.
Rank Wii Fit Trainer (Female) as a Waifu/Husbando
B+ (7) She can give me a workout tonight. Still, I don’t like yoga.
Rank Wii Fit Trainer (Male) as a Waifu/Husbando
B- (5) Not muscular enough.
Rank Wolf as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) My playtime with Wolf won’t end that soon.
Rank Yoshi as a Waifu/Husbando
B (6) Long tongue is a turn-on, weird digestive system is not.
Rank Young Link as a Waifu/Husbando
C (3) Too young. Still drinks milk.
Rank Zelda as a Waifu/Husbando
A (9) A lady in charge who dabs.
Rank Zero Suit Samus as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) I like the whip and heels. She can hunt for my bounty.
Rank Random as a Waifu/Husbando
D (1) I don’t like surprises.
Rank The Sandbag as a Waifu/Husbando
A+ (10) I like a man that enjoys punishment. Also, I like practicing with him in solo.
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