#do i not stink

[marlynnofmany]

A friend of mine had this idea, and I’d love to see it in an urban fantasy: magic is real and it stays secret because it looks like bad CGI. The fakest thing ever.

People who witness magic in person can always have their minds clouded, as they have been for most of human history, but all this newfangled technology has to be handled a different way. A video camera records exactly what it sees.

So, what it sees is … something that looks laughably fake. For any time period. The various secret magicians of the world make a point to keep their spells up to date with the current mundane trends — some of them even have running contests for who can make the most fake-looking spell.

I imagine they have a great time doing it. I sure would.

#writing prompts #magic #urban fantasy #secret magic #magic in the mundane world #somebody write this #it would be amazing #possibly a challenge to describe #but put a good narrating character in there and you should be set #‘it looked like somebody scribbled with MSPaint across the room’ #‘then the dude was suddenly on the floor’ #‘with stink lines or something coming off him?’ #‘then there was this new scribble that looked like a toothy face’ #‘and that’s when I bolted down the alley’ #‘if I’m gonna lose touch with reality I’ll do it from the safety of my own home’ #‘hiding behind the door. with a baseball bat.’

[turtleblogatlast]

Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water

Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #bless their hearts but they’re nasty #it’s funny because like #each and every one of them has moments #where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy #and then the next they have STANDARDS #can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa #even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀 #thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏 #they’re all gross teenage boys!!! #even Donnie he is NO exception here #bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros #bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it #but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss #pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross #100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon #because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy #THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES #the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀 #I love them tho they are endearing anyhow #April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr #honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all #just by virtue of being a chef #Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like #a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work #Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross #Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison) #Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk #all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now

[starlightvld]

Up in Smoke

(Also on AO3)

The first time Ghost rips the cigarette from Soap's mouth, drops it on the ground, and stomps on it as he passes by, Soap is too stunned to say anything for a full ten seconds. They've only been working together consistently for a couple of missions, and even as his superior officer, the audacity of the action floors him.

By the time his brain restarts, Ghost is long gone.

--

The second time Ghost steals Soap's cigarette, he bursts out in a string of Scottish curses and tackles Ghost from behind before the wanker can drop it on the ground. An impromptu sparring match ensues, fists and curses flying. 

Afterward, he doesn't feel much like a cigarette anymore — not with the split lip, anyway. Besides, the buzzing under his skin that usually drives him to smoke is just... gone.

Price catches wind of the incident, of course, and calls them into his office a few hours later. By that time Soap has calmed down enough to be... maybe not okay with it, but at least able to see the humor. 

"What's this about you muppets scuffling by the smoking area?"

"Just a little sparring to blow off steam," Soap says.

"Ghost?"

"Nothin' to worry about, Captain."

"No? I've got one soldier who looks like he just got back from a bar fight, and the other..." He squints at Ghost. "He get a hit in on you, too?"

"Yeah," Ghost replies in that deadpan tone of his. "Coupla black eyes."

It's a joke. 

Ghost is telling a joke. And it's objectively not funny. It's not. But Soap bursts into hysterical laughter all the same. 

The corners of Ghost's blacked-out eyes crinkle. 

Price rubs his temples before dropping his hand on his desk. Soap presses his lips together to contain his laughter.

"Sparring happens in the gym. I'm sure you know the place. It's where we have things like mats and gloves. I catch you two bare-knuckle fighting again, and you will regret it."

And it's enough to sober Soap up. He avoids Ghost as he ducks away to catch dinner.

--

The third time... well, no. He supposes that's really the fourth time. 

Because the actual third time, Soap had come back from a shit mission where everything went wrong. Intel was faulty, exfil was delayed, and people under his command died. It didn't happen as often in SAS as it had in the regulars — the soldiers here were well-trained and hard to kill — but that made it all the worse. 

When Ghost tried to pluck the cigarette from his mouth, Soap growled. 

"Back the fuck up, Lt. Or Price is gonna be disappointed in both of us."

Ghost paused, and their eyes met. Slowly, Ghost lowered his hand. 

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Fuck no."

"Thank God."

Soap didn't have it in him to even huff a laugh. He took a long drag and blew the smoke away from Ghost as a peace offering.

To his surprise, Ghost didn't leave. He spun around and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. They stood there together, utterly silent, as Soap let the heat and sting in his lungs soothe the beast inside that wanted to rip the world apart.

When he was done, though, he was surprised to find he didn't want another. Usually after shit missions, he'd stand there and smoke half a pack before his hands would stop shaking.

He finally met Ghost's eyes. The man quirked a barely visible brow.

"S'pose we should take it to the mats this time?"

Ghost pushed off the building and started walking. Soap followed like a lost child looking for a way home. 

--

The fourth time is in Chicago. His hands are shaking not from losing soldiers but from almost losing his own life. The cigarette trembles in his grip as he stands outside the bar, the biting wind turning his fingers and probably his lips blue. He lifts it to his mouth, inhaling deep—

And then it's gone.

The whine that bubbles up from his gut and bursts from his throat is nothing short of humiliating. But God. God. He needs it.

"Not now. Please, Ghost."

"Why?"

Ghost hasn't thrown the cigarette down. Yet. He cocks his head to the side and gives Soap a long look. Soap can only tremble from the cold and a need that goes deeper than a simple hit of nicotine.

"I just... I need it."

The cigarette drops to the ground, but Soap doesn't have time to lament the loss before that same hand is curling around Soap's neck and pulling him into a fucking massive chest. The other arm comes around Soap's shoulders and...

Ghost just stands there, holding him. And Soap can't help melting into the warmth and solidity of the man who saved his life just hours ago. He dares to curl in deeper. To raise his hands and clutch at Ghost's jacket. To let a few, silent tears escape his tight control.

Finally, his muscles relax. Ghost must feel it, because he turns and leads Soap back toward the bar.

"Why do ye even care?" Soap mumbles from his spot tucked into Ghost's side.

"Because those things'll kill ya."

Soap supposes the "I like you alive" is implied at this point.

--

Soap loses count after Chicago. He gets stretches of days when Ghost is on a solo op or out with one of the other operators when he can smoke in peace. So he does.

At first.

He's been hooked since he was a rebellious teen trying to make his mark on the world. He's tried to quit multiple times, but it never seems to stick. The first bad mission or adrenaline-filled near miss and he's back at whatever smoking spot he can find, puffing away.

He finds himself trying to cut back, though, even when Ghost is away.

Any time Ghost is on base, all bets are off. In addition to darting by and making a grab for it or sneaking up behind him and flicking it out of his hands, Ghost has gotten more creative. Sometimes Soap will pull out a cigarette only to find he's "lost" his lighter. Sometimes the cigarettes themselves go missing — he clutches his chest and mourns all that wasted money whenever a whole pack disappears. 

He supposes it's all just going up in smoke anyway, though.

He should be angry. But in truth, it's almost a relief to hand over the reins to Ghost. To let the man help him by annoying the shit out of him until he wants to give up on it entirely.

Which is definitely the point. Ghost has made that perfectly clear.

So, whenever he gets the urge to calm his racing thoughts or overactive mind with a cigarette, he finds Ghost and annoys him instead. They talk, or spar, or simply sit in silence together, doing their own thing. Ghost doesn't often touch him — their moment in Chicago is still the closest Soap's ever gotten to the elusive Ghost — but he also doesn't push Soap away when he slumps into Ghost's side after a hard day or leans over his back when he's sitting at the table in the 141's common area on base.

The urge doesn't go away, of course. And sometimes, when things get really bad, Ghost will just sit or stand with him like he did the third time. Still, he finds himself smoking less and hanging out with Ghost more.

--

The last time Ghost steals a cigarette from Soap, he simply stands beside Soap and holds out his hand. Soap immediately knows something has gone terribly wrong. Still, he's too invested in the game now to not hand the cigarette over.

He nearly keels over when Ghost pulls up his mask and takes a long, hard drag. Soap watches in fascination as his cheeks hollow, his neck muscles strain, his lips curve around the paper. It's erotic in a way he really shouldn't be thinking about in regards to his emotionally unavailable superior officer, but the knowledge hasn't stopped him yet. Since that day in Chicago — probably before if he's honest — he's only ever wanted to be closer.

Ghost coughs a little and hands the cigarette back.

"Fuck. Just as disgusting as I remember."

"Ye used to smoke, then?"

"Before I joined up, yeah. Hated it, though."

"The smell? Or—"

"Everything. The taste, the smell, the heat..." Ghost trails off, his hand rubbing over his bicep in a strangely specific way. He shakes his head and looks back at Soap. "Not your problem, Johnny. Forget about it."

Soap's hand is darting out, fingers curling into Ghost's jacket, before he's properly thought through the action. Ghost pauses before turning back. They stare in silence for a moment until—

Soap stubs out the half-burned cigarette and drops the butt in the trash. He licks his lips. Glances up at Ghost. The mask is still sitting on his nose, and Soap stares at his lips for longer than he should before pulling the pack out of his pocket and throwing it in the trash, too.

"Cannae have ye thinking I stink, can I?"

"Too late."

But Ghost's throat bobs with a hard swallow. Soap wets his lips, takes a step closer, and uncurls his fingers to slide his hand up Ghost's chest until his fingertips are resting on Ghost's shirt collar.

"I dinnae think it is."

Ghost turns and walks away. Soap closes his eyes and drops his hand, internally cursing his impulsive behavior. The scuffing of boots walking away from him is like nails on a chalk board.

Until they stop, and a gruff voice calls out, "You comin'?"

A slow smile slides across Soap's mouth. "No' yet."

A huff — exasperation? laughter? a bit of both? — before, "Better get movin' then."

And Soap has never been more glad to follow an order.

#john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #ghost x soap #soap x ghost #Call of Duty #COD MW reboot #getting together #idiots in love #based on that tiny snippet of dialogue from MWIII #I wrote this whole thing in a couple of hours #I did not edit it #If you see a typo please gently let me know #if you think it stinks please DO NOT let me know #I will eventually post to AO3 but I don't have time to truly edit it any time soon so this is it for now #I promise I'm still working on BB&SH #my writing #OG Starlight

[danmeichael]

my favorite thing to think about with bingyuan is bingge having a fetishistic obsession with shen yuan's imperfection.

bingge's wives and every person he's held more than one conversation with are perfect. they're sickeningly pretty, dizzyingly pretty, the sort of pretty celebrities need an hour in a makeup chair and 100k in surgery to achieve.

but shen yuan is so... different. his teeth are adorably crooked, he sneezes in a way that's really only endearing to bingge, he snores and drools on binghe's chest in his sleep. he sweats, it tastes salty on his tongue and makes shen yuan smell acrid and disgusting after it cools on his skin, lingers on binghe's hands after touching him, and binghe is obsessed. every bit of shen yuan that makes him human is what makes binghe rabidly horny.

#guy who has only ever had sex with fantasy women discovers body hair and boystink and immediately gets several fetishes about it. #svsss #bingyuan #guy who insists he doesn't have a scent kink: i just think bingge would jack himself raw while huffing sy's stink off his own hand #im right and it doesn't have anything to do with my own personal proclivities. #(proclivities i do not have.)

[tapeworrmart]

Summer fun!

#If I don't do one obnoxiously coloured thing ever couple of months I go mad #I love the idea of dude dressing like that in the desert lmao. Man's must STINK #But also cuz imagine this looming dark figure in a bright sunny environment. Good shit #Anyway yeah more of this guy... #Postal #Postal 2 #Postal dude #The postal dude #Postal game #fan art #art #sketch #character art

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Gabriel trying to entertain an iPad baby as his confidence rapidly declines - A Compilation

Not going to transcribe these as its just songs being "sung" if you can call it that.

Anyway.

Chug Jug With You Audio Source

Happy Birthday Audio Source

Under the Sea Audio Source

Chug Jug (again) Audio Source

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #*he pronounces the name wrong cause it was directed @ someone in chat named gabriel #alternative title was 'karaoke with gabriel' but i think its really funny that its just like. kids songs?? these are all months apart too?? #i left the laugh in just cause the timing of chat redeeming 'oh brother this guy stinks' was perfect #uh the weird bg sounds during the birthday part. it was a vineboom..... i tried my best to get rid of it lol #aka the 'when tf am i ever going to have need for these clips. whatever ill just upload em all at once' compilation #that is like. half of the clips i have. im like. when do i even post this. what do i call this #if i had the time to make dumb pics like i did that one time it'd be a lot easier to just force context onto the clips lol

[podcastfaggot]

She makes me feel extremely normal ways.

(art by @lonelyslutavatar, creator of The Alice Ever. sorry)

#i just know she stinks good it was revealed to me in a dream #alice dyer #the magnus protocol #tmagp #do not archive

[tteokdoroki]

a few days ago i can’t rmr where - i saw a post abt how fanfic pussy was unrealistic bc of how tastes/scents were described and that it ‘stinks’ bad…but id also like to point out that some people are really into scents and musks so it probably does taste or smell good to them and no one is really in the wrong

#i literally saw a tweet about some dude rubbing his girl’s sweat on his dick like #he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t find her scent arousing #and so it probably smells good to him #and the brain alters how perceive things so it probably smells somewhat sweet to him #and also if you ACTUALLY stink badly then u need to be checked out #im going tmi #but i just feel like there’s no need to bash what ppl write lol #n personal if u describe me as stinky im clicking out #LOL #✧ ₊˚💭੭ — aali just posted

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

"She's gettin' a lot, isn't she? For her birthday." "Yeah, you are. We've really made the effort."

#they're so stinking CUTE #ridiculous 😭😭😭😭 #alex just smiling and nodding and letting miles do most of the talking #miles constantly looking at alex #'our birthday' #i love these tiny little smitten beans so much it's actually impossible #🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #milex #tlsp #the last shadow puppets #alex turner #miles kane #jo whiley #baby puppets #baby alex #baby miles #my gifs #leaning into each other

[thesherrinfordfacility]

(multi-part rb post)

thought of the morning: crowley has done quite a few objectively good/right things and presumably has not been noticed and subsequently gone unpunished by hell for it... so what is different in the resurrectionist minisode?

because aziraphale calls attention to it? sort of like this?:

i think my day is going to be spent looking back over each time crowley has shouted aziraphale down whenever he calls him nice or kind or w/e, because this? suddenly feels more significant than just being uncomfortable with being associated with 'good'...

#idk where im going with this (well no i do but its not anywhere intelligent or well-founded) #but theory or no theory #something stinks #good omens #like yeah there's a lot that happens off screen #but i do wonder how much shit aziraphale has accidentally snitched on and crowley's had to suffer for it

[bruciemilf]

"Comic books are the authentic form of canon and you should stay faithful to them," okay but like you realize that's limiting!! You realize that official content is put in front of you to be analyzed and criticized and adapted in your individual form of enjoyment, otherwise its just fucking boring, right? You realize it's extremely rare for official content to be enjoyable when it's written by someone who doesn't understand a character because they like them, but because they have to appeal to popular trends and what sells best, right? You realize you don't possess some superior leverage over others just because you stick to that only, right? Right?

#i love a very good majority of comic book fans but some of you are simply repulsive to be around. your vibe stinks if #you fail to comprehend that you don't own the fandom space you participate in. #this is about #dc comics #bruce wayne #sorry if this comes across as slander its bc it is #text post #meta #do i think comics are inherently wrong? no. theres actually plenty of comics i read and gave a try to. #i do however have a big fucking problem with ppl who don't understand how frustrating it is to see a character you love be butchered #countless times and get shit for choosing to turn away from the medium that keeps butchering them #YOU'RE HERE TO HAVE FUN! FANDOM IS NOT A COURTROOM!

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

All things considered though, I do think Fabian having to babysit his baby sibling only to be the first to find out that said baby is a Wild Magic Sorcerer (thanks to Bill's chaotic infernal blessing) and have to deal with their back to back surges would be funny.

Just imagine Fabian carrying his baby sib (who currently has a blue feather beard) on his hip as he assures his mother that he has everything under control only for his sib to turn into a potted plant mid sentence. Only to turn back and then promptly disappear into the Astral Plane for a minute.

#While i do think Fabian’s fears about a baby sibling are 1000% valid and he should get to make a stink out of it #i also think that beef should be with his mom and alone and that he should bond with his little sib #fabian seacaster #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #hallariel seacaster #unnamed lomenelda-faeth child

[starryluminary]

Ridonculous Race but Noah is friends with Owen part 8: Where would I be without you?

I am holding back on yelling for ten paragraphs about this moment in rr proper. Instead I will say that I made Emma outright say she can’t be with Noah cause I feel like adding the “not on the show” part does not warrant such a strong reaction. Also Owen tries so hard. He cares so much and tries so hard and it’s borderline therapeutic to draw Noah reciprocating the efforts (in his own silly ways)

It’s also been a full year since I’ve initially started this series! Happy Birthday, Noah is friends with Owen!

Transcript:

Image 1 Emma: I like you!! A lot! Emma: But…

Image 2 Emma: …I can’t be with you. I’m sorry.

Image 3 Owen: Oh boy.

Image 4 Don: Reality TV schmos- I mean “Pros”… Don: I’m afraid you’re last. It’s time to go…

Image 5 Don: …Is what I would have said if this were an elimination round, but it isn’t!

Image 6 Don, offscreen: Congratulations, guys! You’re still in the game!

Image 7 Owen: Noah…? You ok, buddy? Noah: I… Uhm…

Image 8 Noah: …Ow.

Image 9 Owen: Aww, Noah!! Owen: Don’t worry- it might hurt now, but things will get better! I promise!!

Image 10 Owen: Besides… There’s ton of other fish in the sea. Like this one! Owen, in cursive: I wuv you, Noah! Kissy kissy, mwah mwah mwah! Noah: Ew. No thank you.

Image 11 Noah: I think it likes you, though.

Image 12 Owen: Oh my— NOAH!! Owen: That’s a dead fish- why would you do this to me?! Noah: Ha ha ha

Image 13 Noah: Ha… Noah: …Thanks, Owen.

Image 14 Owen: Ha. Owen: Glad I could help!

#Tablets at 10% and its 15 minutes to midnight but I made it. On the day #Can you believe it’s taken me a year to finish my rr rewatch. Wild lmao #total drama #total drama ridonculous race #total drama presents: the ridonculous race #tdrr #total drama noah #td noah #total drama owen #td owen #total drama emma #td emma #emma race #total drama don #td don #noah is friends with owen #Starry makes art #just in case it looks like Don is giving Emma the stink eye I promise he’s not. that’s supposed to be his neutral expression #I do not disrespect emma

[be-an-echo]

from another mother...

the day when Tess and Maria got shitfaced

#tess and maria appreciation #they've tried to have a girls night like this for such a long time so when miller brothers screwed up (again) well this happened #sooo i believe that there's someone in jackson who make pizzas on a regular basis or like on the weekends #it wouldn't be a girls night without 20 years old magazine full of dumb and funny quizzes #according to one maria is a cornbread and tess is a brioche #these women can't hold their liquor tho #tess tried to teach maria how to smoke but failed maybe next time #ellie walked into a house at some point but quickly changed her mind when she saw that absolute chaos #boys were at tommy's thinking (and drinking) about their life choices and “what in the hell did they do wrong this time” #they found their wives in the morning passed out on the couch with house stinking of cigarettes and booze so they are even now i guess #i think there's a revenge coming soon #that hangover tho..... ugh #tess servopoulos #maria miller #tess tlou #tess lives #when i tell u i started this in january but managed to finish it now in-between some other work... i wouldn't be lying

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Do you think Alphonse and Seth catch random strays bc the older people in the town still talk shit time to time?

Like they're walking and they get called a slur in a convo between two old ass men and they just look at eachother like "Is he talking about you or me?...10 bucks if it's me."

#red rants #yuurivoice #yuurivoice alphonse #yuurivoice seth #byt yes they forsure carch random steays like damn wtf did i do??? #what i do stink stink??

[ghosted-jazz]

Someone give them a bath (and a way back home)

#empires smp #falsesymmetry #orionsound #theorionsound #Isekaii duo both cannonically stink and idk what to do with this information then to draw this #I'm so attached to this duo even though they've never interacted- the narrative guys I'm so invested it'll be so funny #If I had a nickle for everytime a british monarch died whilst I was drawing mcyt fanart I'll have two nickels. Which I feel like is a lot #my art