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vraiesmeufs · 5 years

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productivité et culpabilité

Récemment, je suis revenue faire un tour sur ce site : le dernier post date d’il y a 2 semaines et le dernier portrait date d’il y a 2 mois.

Tout d’un coup, en faisant ce constat, je suis prise de panique. Qu’est ce que j’ai foutu pendant ces 2 mois pour ne pas sortir un portrait tout en continuant à bosser de manière quotidienne sur ce projet. Plus que de la panique, j’ai été sujette à une culpabilité terrible. Je me sentais coupable de ne pas avoir tenu mes engagements, de ne pas avoir tenu le rythme que je promettais, sans pourtant que personne ne soit venu me voir pour me réclamer du contenu.

En fait, la personne envers qui je ressens le plus de culpabilité est moi même.

En méditant sur ma vie, je me rends compte que je passe toute la journée à tout remettre en question et à me rappeler que je ne suis pas assez bien. Le matin, je me dis que j’aurais du me lever plus tôt et sortir plus vite de chez moi. A l’école, je regrette de ne pas fournir plus d’efforts dans mes études. A la bibliothèque, je regrette de ne pas réussir cet exercice. En allant chercher les développements de mes photos, je regrette de ne pas avoir fait de meilleures photos. En relisant un article, je regrette qu’il ne soit pas mieux écrit. Et en allant me coucher le soir, je regrette de ne pas avoir fini tout ce qui était noté sur ma to do list.

Je me rends compte que la vie que je vis n’est qu’un long chemin de regret et de culpabilité.

Je profite donc d’un voyage loin de la capitale pour me remettre en question sur ma culpabilité constante : je n’ai jamais autant évolué que lors de ces deux dernières années mais par la même occasion, je n’ai jamais autant été aussi peu fière de moi au quotidien. Par exemple, j’ai passé aujourd’hui une excellente journée où je me suis promenée et où j’ai profité de ma famille mais en rentrant chez moi, je me sentais très mal parce que ma journée n’était pas productive.

Entreprendre, ça a l’air cool et facile, encore plus dans l’époque étrange dans laquelle on vit où c’est hype de bosser comme un taré. Sauf que entreprendre veut aussi dire ne pas avoir de patron : si demain, je décide de complètement arrêter de bosser sur ce projet, personne ne me demandera de compte ou me virera. C’est pourquoi la pression que je me mets est d’autant plus importante que mis à part moi, personne ne peut me la donner.

On vit dans une société où chaque minute de la vie doit être productive et où il faut constamment lutter contre ces fléaux que sont la procrastination et l’oisiveté. Cette société du hustle où on admire les gens qui travaillent 24/7 et qui ont de l’ambition ne rends pas les choses facile. Beaucoup de gens m’ont déjà complimenté sur le fait que j’étais une bosseuse. Est-ce vraiment un compliment ? Tout le monde court partout, boit des cafés comme si sa vie en dépendait et a un emploi du temps de ministre. “Productive” pour moi signifie avancer sur les cours ou sur mes projets (en particulier VraiesMeufs), mais est-ce la bonne définition ? Une journée oisive où je recharge les batteries et où je profite des personnes que l’on aime fait aussi partie du processus de productivité. Ce n’est pas derrière un ordi qu’on trouve l’inspiration et la motivation de faire ce que l’on veut.

Je m’engage donc à ce jour de ne plus culpabiliser pour ce que je fais. Je fais déjà mon maximum et c’est cool. Parfois, je fais 10 choses dans la même journée, parfois je n’en fais pas une seule. Mais je ne m’en voudrais plus : même les low moments permettent, en libérant du temps à ne rien faire, d’apporter de nouvelles idées, de meilleurs réflexions et donc de nourrir mon processus de création et de travail. D’autant plus que, je ne pense pas que vous me suivez en vous attendant à du contenu toutes les semaines avec une tolérance zéro. Je viendrais des fois à l’avance, des fois à l’heure et des fois en retard, sans aucune justification et à chaque fois plus solide qu’avant.

ENGLISH VERSION (translated by Sophie)

PRODUCTIVITY AND GUILT

Recently, I came back on this website: the last post was two weeks ago, and the last portrait was two months old. All of a sudden, realizing this, I was overcome by panic. What the hell was I doing for two months, not being able to come out with a single new portrait, while still working daily on this project? More than panic, I felt terribly guilty. I felt guilty of not being able to stick to my commitments, of not being able to keep up the pace I promised in the first place, even though no one ever came to me to demand content.

In fact, the person I blame the most is myself.

While contemplating my life, I realize I spend my days questioning anything and everything, and reminding myself I am not good enough. In the morning, I tell myself I should have woken up earlier so I could come out of the house quicker. At school, I regret not trying harder in the way I study. At the library, I regret not succeeding in an exercise. When going to get my photos printed, I regret not taking better photos. When re-reading one of my articles, I regret the fact that it wasn’t written better. When going to sleep at night, I regret not finishing everything that was on my to-do list.

I realize that the life I lead is merely a long road filled with regret and guilt.

So I take advantage of the time I spend traveling away from Paris to re-evaluate myself and the guilt I constantly feel: I’ve never evolved as much as I did in the last two years, but in the same time, I’ve never been less proud of myself on a daily basis. For example, today was an excellent day for me, I went out and had a good time with my family, but when I came home I felt extremely bad because it hasn’t been a productive day.

To begin projects sounds cool and easy, even more in this strange era in which it is “hype” to work like crazy. But to begin a project by yourself also means not having a boss: if tomorrow I decide to quit this project, no one will hold me accountable nor fire me. That’s why the pressure I put on myself is even more important, because apart from me, no one will do it. We live in a society where every minute of your life has to be productive and where you must constantly fight against the scourge that are procrastination and idleness. This hustle society in which people who have ambition and work 24/7 are looked up to, does not make things any easier. Many people have complimented me before, for being a “hard worker”. Is that really a compliment? Everybody’s running around all the time, having drinks as if their life depends on it, with full schedules. To me, being “productive” means being on track with my studies or my projects (specifically VraiesMeufs), but is that the real definition? An uneventful day during which I rest and spend time with the people I love is also part of the process of productiveness. Sitting behind a laptop is not where you find inspiration and motivation to do what you want.

From now on, I commit to not blaming myself for my actions. I try my best and that’s cool. Sometimes I’ll do ten different things in a single day, and sometimes I won’t do one. But I won’t blame myself: even the low moments, freeing time to not do anything in particular, allow for new ideas. They allow for better reflections, and they feed my creative and work process. What is more, I don’t believe you follow me on this website expecting content every week with zero tolerance. Sometimes I’ll be early, sometimes I’ll be on time, and some other times I’ll be late, without justification and each time stronger than the last.

#realtalk

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wearethegladiators · 5 years

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WHERE ARE THEY NOW? RACHEL EDITION

fc: leighton meester

age: 27 (it’s been very confusing because she’s sometimes born in 1991, sometimes in 1993. I think we made her older so that she could legally inherit from the DCH so let’s make her 27 - or about to be. I see her as more of a end of the year/winter child tbh.)

job: head of dch bitch

(long post ahead buckle up kids)

Backstory-wise

Rachel’s back-story is a good 99% inspired by shitty téléfilms but I wouldn’t change most of it, she’s had it and that really defines who she is as a person. (I mean, she definitely did not have a split personality disorder wth? I watched too much Heroes for sure. She may be struggling with an Intermittent Explosive Personality Disorder though, like Liam in TW). The plane crash thingy may be a bit too much, but... I mean, Rachel IS the final girl. I’m used to playing survivor but l’essence même de Rachel c’est d’être une survivante. Ah si, aussi, her father is now called Louis Seymour and no longer Lewis Seyfried (wth did all our characters had such American names???? Lewis’s French, goddamn it). Oh and we’re gonna be talking disability as well.

I couldn’t find her comprehensive back-story so let’s just go with the flow. Aurélia and Louis definitely were not married, they probably did not even have a stable relationship (I mean how could you have a stable relationship with Aurélia). But I can see them dating for a while, Louis may have been touring in the U.S. to show his work and skills, anyway. I don’t think Aurelia ever told him about her pregnancy which DRAMATICALLY parallels Tyler and Rachel’s story (actually I pretty much think she did not tell anyone…). Or maybe she did, years later. Or when she left Rachel at an orphanage somewhere in Canada. So yeah Rachel was abandoned aged 1 J She mostly grew up in that structure, but she had behavioral/anger issues and she was bullied by other kids/did not stay for long with her foster families. So Rachel, a SURVIVOR, ultimately freaking ran away from that orphanage (probably around 10-ish years old) and pretty much… lived in the streets for a while, and walked a lot (boi she’s got so much in common with Lukas yo). She was ultimately found by a family which put an “ad” in the local newspapers and that’s how her maternal grandmother found her. For some reason the maternal grandmother decided not to keep her (she stayed max 1 year with her) and to send her back to her father in France (either in the South or in Normandy). Then they took the plane, let’s say they had no crash and Rachel found her dad and she lived at his place until she was 14 years old (when he was killed by Z) and she was very happy about it. That’s pretty much where she learnt how to ride because bah mdr she probably had never done so before, or only in colo or shit like that; she also learnt at least “French” French (she potentially knew Québecois). I don’t think she ever was a jockey though or that Z and GG shot her horse during a race MDRRR (remember it’s 2019 we have plotlines now). But her father was still killed by Z and euh well… she ended up once again with no parental figure and was supposed to be brought back to foster care/an orphanage, which was not very cool, so guess what? SHE RAN AWAY BITCH. I can see her hitchhiking and pretty much stealing stuff and maybe hanging out with weird people in some squats (but NEVER doing drugs that’s so not Rachel), and ultimately she ended up in Paris where she thought she could “disappear”, maybe find a job or something – anyway, opportunities. She probably had a fake ID that said she was 18 and maybe she was even able to buy a car (but just to sleep in it mdr) (or to drive illegally, I mean, yeah). And I guess one day she found the DCH and asked John and Elodie if she could work there for some money and they took her in and now she’s a star!!

Also there was an interesting aspect to Rachel when I first started playing her (a while, while ago): she had that big accident while riding a horse and was pretty much left disabled by it and did not ride for years until boom, DOOMER bitch. I don’t think she would have been able to survive the way she did with a disability but I kind of like this storyline so I guess maybe she had this “accident” with no big consequences but she was heavily traumatized by it (her horse may still have died in it but that would seriously echo Cassey’s story – I mean that happens but still). So she probably did not ride for a while after that, yeah.

Started from palefrenière ended up CEO BITCH

Professionally

Well I mean, Rachel’s pretty much at the top of her career… I think she’s pretty big now, people are starting to respect her in the business. It was quite hard being in charge at 18 because no one would take her seriously but she’s proven repeatedly that she’s to be counted with by now. There are probably people coming to the DCH just to learn about their methods. Maybe they are little girls looking up to her. She’s definitely holding Ted-Talk-like conferences btw. Maybe she had her own Ted Ex?

She made the DCH much bigger, they probably have more horses now and they DO have an administrative/business/executive team, YEAH. She also definitely worked on the “social”/”horses heal” aspect, probably extending the procedure Tyler benefited from, maybe opening up séances once or twice a week for people in rehab or neuroatypical people, because that’s the crap she does – Rachel cares, yo.

She went back to class! Remember Rachel never got the Bac because she was fired from high-school mdr? She went back and got it, probably around 2013-2014, Sarah Manning style. And then she did a BTS in accounting to take care of the financial aspect of the DCH (because Jake’s great, and everyone’s great in the new team, but everything Rachel does is obviously greater). I think she even got a Bachelor degree in Management by now! MY GIRLLLL

She stopped her career as a jockey as soon as she found out she was pregnant. Doomer had another jockey for some races but stopped winning mdr so he’s now retired. None of them are running anymore, it was a once-in-a-lifetime thingy. <3

Rachel’s popular but she doesn’t get to play it all funny like Jade and Lucie do. She’s the business women. She has to negotiate and go hard. So she’s definitely not as liked as the jockeys are, and she’s definitely not as famous as they are but she SO strives to be, she’s definitely doing ads for yoghurts and shit yup. She does not get to travel as much as they do either, but… She likes it. Being in charge. And she’s good at it. She’s a workaholic, a girl boss, a fashion icon.

Tries to care on her time to teach stuff but she’s soooo busy. Mais c’est elle qui supervise toutes les formations et tous les programmes et personne a rien à dire hihihi

Personally

Well, she had a baby… I don’t think 1) this came as a big surprise (she definitely was not on the pill and I don’t know but I can’t picture Tyler and Rachel as extremely careful people smh) and 2) she even questioned keeping it. Like she was already pretty much the mother of Chelsea (who was a baby!!) and Mike, but having a baby of her own is like a totally different thing. Rachel is a survivor first and foremost but she’s also… such a mother??? So nurturing and stuff. Like she never really had a parental figure (or never for more than 3 motherfucking years) and yet I think she was super good at taking care of the Howkins children?? She also had experience as a “single parent”, and she felt she NEEDED that baby to recover (especially if Tyler was presumably dead). So yeah, of course she kept it. She probably learnt about it WEEKS before telling the team btw, just to act surprised and be like “omg, maybe this a bit too late……..” mdr I love her

Honestly even if Tyler isn’t dead I don’t think she would have told him. And see that’s the big difference between Rachel and Cass: she doesn’t run after people. If they leave, they leave. If they drown, they drown. It’s all about survival and she’s not letting anyone take her down, not even her first love. So no, she wouldn’t tell him. And she wouldn’t ask him anything ofc. So yeah mdr, ambiance when he comes back after 2 years hahahaha

Also I think she’s raising a very good, very woke kid. Which is surprising because Rachel is very tolerant but you know, she’s also very closeted, she’s very traditional in some ways, definitely the less likely to vote on the left side… It’d be interesting btw if the kid (who has a cute name like Timothy/Timothée/Titouan) ends up “different” in some way, I don’t know, neuroatypical, autistic, or just gay?? I mean I don’t know but that would be interesting for her character

Also mdr poor kid must be a bit confused about his parents. Josh was there pretty much all the time to help take care of him for the first 2-3 years of his life and maybe he even moved in at some point, for some time. If Tyler never came back the kid would legit have thought that Josh was his dad hahaha

And I mean Rachel’s a sentimental bitch, she’s into long relationships and she’s very committed and… if Tyler comes back there will always be an attraction and an attachment and they’re definitely still hooking up once in a while… which must be very weird for the kid… because Rachel is sometimes also hooking up with Josh… I mean… (Josh/Rach are pretty endgame I’m sorry but they’re… it’s complicated) (gosh Josh is the Rachel’s Jake mdrrrr)

I think btw Rachel has been in a long-term relationship (like at least a good year) with some guy outside of the DCH and they broke up because…… she cheated on him with Josh, or Ty, or both, maybe for some time mdr. WHAT A MESS I SWEAR my girl just dreamt of being married having kids and living in a little nice farm but I guess dysfunctional people just work… dysfunctional…

Oh I think she REALLY likes Lukas btw. They’re even more similar than Dan/Rachel and that’s a good way of actually appreciating Daniel… without actually appreciating Daniel. Wouldn’t be surprised if they had hooked up too (nothing is okay dans ces écuries), but yeah, probs a good friend, plus she misses one since Jake left (the fact that he helped with the administrative shite?? probably made them even closer tbh, what a good guy)

She really cares about Daniel too, tbh. She definitely can see some pieces of herself in him and… well she doesn’t like that, but still. Actually I think if he was the one to run away she may have run after him… to kick his ass, BUT STILL. Maybe she’s the one taking him to the meetings when Cassey can’t?? :’) I also like to think their relationship has matured – but in a Dan/Rach way. They can tolerate each other but yeah, every freaking meal they yell at each other at some point, but talk in a very normal/casual way two minutes right after. Everyone’s shook but that’s ok for them. They’re kids basically. I like them.

I don’t think she’s so close to Bella anymore… Like I said Rach is really not the type to cling onto relationships, if people live far away she’s not gonna make efforts. She doesn’t have time anyway. Still likes her a lot, still would be freaking happy if she came visiting

Jake and Rach are very good friends; Jade and Lucie are like her two big sisters who have literally seen her grow up from her 15 year-old self to her 27-year-old GOSH I’M EMO. One of them definitely is the godmother of her son, maybe both. Jake’s the godfather. Omg family meetings must be so chaotic

I think she really likes Emeline, too, she was kind of a vent de fraîcheur and she appreciates her for that

ADAM. THIS GODDAMN ASSHOLE. Well Adam’s blood. And he’s the only family she’s got (left). So it’s ride or die bitch. I mean Rachel always had a very grayish moral code… so it’s not a big surprise she stuck with her brother whatever shit he did. Definitely kicked his ass every step of the way but… she stayed. Always. Which is surprising for Rachel, but Adam is actual family and I think she really cares about that cause god she never had a family. They’re still in touch. I can see them going in holidays two weeks a year and doing absolute bullshit that could get them in serious trouble. Yeah. She really cares. (I mean, she’s the one he called when he crashed a freaking police car so i hope he cares, too.)

SHE SAW AURELIA. FINALLY. I mean it obviously did not go well, she probably tried to strangle her at some point or something like that but… she did it. Probably when she was pregnant for drama purposes. And they’ve seen each other for a few times, ever since. Maybe Aurélia has even come to the DCH. But Rachel absolutely refuses that she builds a bond with her son. There’s a lot of drama, and Aurélia’s often on the road, but… they’re trying to make things right with their problematic personalities. I honestly think Rachel picked a lot on Aurelia’s side.

Btw, Rachel’s really a family girl and I think she stalked the fuck out of her family whenever she could. So she probably knew that Aurelia had a son and that’s probably how she found out that Adam was her brother. And Aurelia… she definitely freaking stalked her daughter, too.

Hm, what else… I hope Fuadegh is still alright I loved that horse!!!! I hope he has a baby and that baby’s Rachel’s baby. Did that make sense

Yeah the DCH definitely has sort of “farm aisle” where the public does not go. It’s basically la garderie for all the kids mdr

I like to believe the Howkins kids turned out well. I mean maybe Mike had to process more trauma than Chelsea who really was a baby when things were bad. Maybe it’s resurfacing and he’s being a bit difficult at the time. I can see him very close to Josh. We stan Josh, all the kids do.

OH YEAH BIG THING. You know how Rachel has loads of anger issues and stuff… Well she calmed down somehow, but because she had no choice. She got into a very heavy dispute with some other director/jockey/breeder/whatever, a pretty influential one. And she started threatening him – Rachel style. Le mec a ensuite porté plainte et ça a déclenché une perquisition au Domaine où la police a effectivement découvert que Rachel, that bitch, possédait plusieurs armes de manière totalement illégale hihihi. Elle a été condamnée, petit scandale, une assistante sociale est venue plusieurs fois au Domaine, on a menacé de mettre le DCH sous tutelle et tout c’était la cata. Donc elle s’est un peu calmée. Je pense aussi que Mike/son fils aurait pu avoir des problèmes d’agressivité à l’école, qu’elle se serait dit que ça pouvait venir d’elle, et que du coup elle ESSAYAIT, vraiment, d’être un peu une bombe humaine. (Puis il y a sûrement pas mal de plaintes contre elle, ne serait-ce que venant de Kevin, pour aggravated assault, donc elle a VRAIMENT intérêt à se calmer).

Random

She dyed her hair blond at some point. Everyone was like “Rachel no”, she was like “Rachel yes”, she did it, it did not turn so bad.

She still lives in her teenage bedroom!!! Elle a sûrement fait des putains de travaux sur la façade pour étendre un peu le truc pour quand elle devait dormir avec son bébé mais elle a jamais voulu de cette punaise de chambre. Tbh Jade’s probably the one living in the Howkins’ master bedroom hahahaha

I can see her dating an old business man for some time, probably did not last for too long tho. Can you imagine Lukas and his sugar mommy/daddy and Rachel with her old businessman?? (except she’s rich she doesn’t need a sugar daddy yo)

She’s got a bunch of tattoos. Quotes and very common ones

She’s definitely the one that looked the less traumatized because her whole life has been shit and this wasn’t honestly wasn’t so big of a difference… But I like to believe she’s been to therapy, has seen a psychologist, or maybe is in a full psychanalyse… Maybe she was forced to because of the investigation but it doesn’t matter, I want her to speak and to heal, she deserves that

She makes me think a lot about Malia Tate in how they’re both assumed to be “street-smart”, not exceptionally smart kids, savages actually, but they somehow manage to never fall behind in classes in spite of a very chaotic scolarité. My girl IS smart, she’s just very bad at showing it

#rachel

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capjuby · 6 years

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An Alluded to Letter from DTM for Matthew Olzmann || David Tomas Martinez

and Vievee Francis concerning love, redemption, and the TV show Empire might not be the most august of openings, but like hypocrisy in this great falling hegemony, it’s all I got.

Besides, what’s history but a conversation we’re born into without context,

and what is society but three friends who keep dipping to the DM’s from a group text. Oh, America, where its most valid

ID states, I am Erica, in glittery pink hearts, the hologram hinting at the fact that this card holder has a dogmatic Top Forty devotion, only eats organic granola, and raises strays humanely.

It’s easy to be angry when the constitution starts for some, We the People, and begins for others, Well see, you people. Some can’t start a sentence without To be fair.

This is where, if I were a white poet, I’d be ironic, especially if I had, in the Stevens’ vernacular, a mind of winter, which is a generous manner of saying said poet’s emotionally snowed in.

It’s still socially unacceptable in my community to admit predispositions toward depression. In part because we think sadness is bougie. I sure as pig believed that I was too broke to be depressed. Machismo culture means, Matthew, that we never needed any other emotion than

power, anything but anger was middling, that I never had the courage to be anything but mean, to say, hey friend, I see your achievement. Hey friend, I see your achievement. Hyperbole shades in

what we are afraid to say. In my experience, when someone’s really feeling you, they’ll ask, You got some black in you,

don’t lie. Beautiful black women, ask me again what I am, touch my hair once more, tell me it must be the Indians in me. Tell me otra vez, while holding my ears, while I look up at you, no tienes labios pero tus besos

son como azúcar. Beautiful black women,

we’ve built so many types of pyramids. I can love you, and dis

like the rhetoric. If you say you don’t smell beach-y, oceanic, a wave breaking obsequiously, then you don’t. Skin

can’t be the night, too filled with a lonely white consciousness.

We up in church yet, Vievee? The dog and pony show of white tears makes some of us pretty pet-able. And here is where if I were a white poet I’d say black women are saving the world.

Some of the poorest poets swear by their Kraft. A politics. Perfection, beauty were never white aesthetics. Despite this, pimps put white girls out during the day, black girls at night.

Rachel Dolezal went on the nightly news and televised us with falsehoods, darkened us all, but she probably understood Louis Simpson best, who said every aesthetic statement is a defense of one’s own,

so when I say I love you, what I mean is I love what I am, but especially, maybe more so, what I’ve never been.

Une allusion à une lettre de DTM pour Matthew Olzmann

et pour Vievee Francis concernant l’amour, la rédemption et la série Empire pourrait ne pas être la plus auguste des ouvertures mais, de même que l’hypocrisie dans cette grande hégémonie en chute, c’est tout que j’ai.

En plus, qu’est-ce que l’histoire si ce n’est une conversation, nous y sommes nés sans contexte,

et qu’est-ce qu’est la société si ce n’est trois amis qui persistent à plonger en MP à partir d’un texto groupé. Oh, Amérique, là où sa plus valide

identité se déclare, je suis Erica, tout de cœurs roses et brillants, l’hologramme buggant sur le fait que le titulaire de cette carte a une dévotion dogmatique pour le Top 40, et ne mange que des granola bio, et s’élève dérive humainement.

C’est facile d’être en colère quand la constitution commence pour certains par, Nous, Peuple et pour les autres par, Bien vu, les gens. Certains ne peuvent pas commencer une phrase sans Pour être honnête.

C’est là où, si j’étais un poète blanc, je serais ironique spécialement si j’avais, dans la langue de Stevens, a mind of winter, généreuse façon de dire, disait le poète, qu’ émotionnellement il neige au-dedans.

Ca reste socialement inacceptable dans ma communauté d’admettre des prédispositions à la dépression. En partie parce que nous pensons que la tristesse est bobo. Moi, avec mon caractère de cochon, je croyais que j’étais trop de traviole pour être dépressif. La culture machiste suppose, Matthew, que nous n’avons jamais besoin d’autre émotion que

le pouvoir, rien sauf la colère, qui était moyenne, que je n’ai jamais eu le courage d’être rien d’autre que méchant, pour dire, hé mon pote, quel exploit. Hé mon pote, quel exploit. L’hyperbole fait de l’ombre à

ce que nous avons peur de dire. De mon expérience, quand quelqu’un t’estime vraiment, il demandera, Tu as du noir en toi,

ne mens pas. Femmes noires magnifiques, demandez-moi encore ce que je suis, touchez mes cheveux une fois encore, dites-moi qu’il doit y avoir de l’Indien en moi. Dites-moi otra vez, en tirant mes oreilles, alors que je lève les yeux vers vous, no tienes labios peros tus besos

so como azúcar. Femmes noires magnifiques, nous avons construit tant de types de pyramides. Je peux vous aimer et dis

comme la rhétorique. Si tu dis que tu ne sens pas la grève-arde, l’océan, une vague se cassant obséquieusement, alors tu ne les sens pas. La peau

ne peut pas être la nuit, trop remplie d’une solitaire conscience blanche.

En forme pour l’église, maintenant, Vievee ? Le spectacle des larmes blanches du chien et du poney rend certains d’entre nous pas mal dom-estique. Et ici c’est où si j’étais un poète blanc je dirais que les femmes noires sont en train de sauver le monde.

Certains des poètes les plus pauvres jurent par leur Kraft. Des politiques. La perfection, la beauté n’ont jamais été blanches esthétiquement. Malgré ça, les maquereaux sortent les filles blanches le jour, les filles noires la nuit.

Rachel Dolezal a été invité à un journal du soir et nous a dépeint à la télé par des mensonges, nous a tous noirci, mais elle a probablement compris le meilleur de Louis Simpson, qui a dit que chaque affirmation esthétique est une défense de son soi propre,

donc quand je te dis Je t’aime, ce que je veux dire c’est que J’aime ce que je suis, mais surtout, peut-être même plus, ce que je n’ai jamais été.

http://davidtomasmartinez.com

“This poem is the result of conversations between Vievee, Matthew, and myself, concerning how to maintain integrity and veracity within a world where rhetoric, performance, and untruth seem unfettered. How does one dog-paddle the self within a system? When the predominant set of ideals don't reflect who you are, how do you sustain love for yourself?” —David Tomas Martinez

David Tomas Martinez's work has been published or is forth coming in Poetry Magazine, Plough Shares, Tin House, Boston Review, Los Angeles Review of Books, Oxford American, Pleiades, Prairie Schooner, Forklift; Ohio, Poetry International, LitHub, Gulf Coast, Drunken Boat, Hypoallergic, Lumina Journal, The Journal, Crab Orchard Review, Academy of American Poet's Poem-A-Day, Poetry Foundation's PoetryNow, Poetry Daily, Verse Daily, Spork Press, Split This Rock, RHINO, Ampersand Review, Caldera Review, Verse Junkies, California Journal of Poetics, Toe Good, and others. DTM has been featured or written about in Poets & Writers, Publishers Weekly, NPR's All Things Considered, NBC Latino, Buzzfeed, Houstonia Magazine, Houston Art & Culture, Houston Chronicle, San Antonio Express News, Bull City Press, Border Voices, and many others. Martinez has an MFA from San Diego State University, is the former reviews and interviews editor for Gulf Coast: A Journal of Literature and Fine Arts, and has been a Breadloaf and CantoMundo Fellow. His debut collection of poetry, Hustle, was released in 2014 by Sarabande Books, which won the New England Book Festival's prize in poetry, the Devil's Kitchen Reading Award, and honorable mention in the Antonio Cisneros Del Moral prize. He is the 2015 winner of the Verlaine Poetry Prize from Inprint. Martinez's forthcoming selection of poetry, Post Traumatic Hood Disorder, will be published in 2018, also by Sarabande Books. He is a Pushcart Prize winner, NEA recipient, lives in Brooklyn, and teaches creative writing at Columbia University.

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https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poet/david-tomas-martinez

#an alluded to letter from dtm for matthew olzmann #david tomas martinez #traduction #translation #american poetry #poésie américaine #poésie contemporaine #contemporary poetry #french translation #poem-a-day

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pangeanews · 6 years

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Camila Evia: l’Ofelia della grafica che fa risorgere i grandi poeti

In epoca Preraffaellita, sarebbe una di quelle Beatrici, una di quelle donne medioevali aureolate di immortalità dipinte da Dante Gabriel Rossetti o da John Everett Millais. In era trobadorica, invece, probabilmente, sarebbe la destinataria di sfilze di sonetti, che celebrano l’amore assoluto perché irraggiunto. Invece – bellezze della post-postmodernità – Camila Evia, volto da Ofelia rosolata nella lirica, trent’anni, nata nell’estrema Argentina, a San Martín de los Andes, terra ruvida e poetica, di laghi transitivamente opposti a quelli dei ‘lake poets’, Coleridge e Wordsworth, agisce al contrario. È lei, la fanciulla, a dare nuova vita ai poeti più o meno defunti, a farli risorgere. Attraverso la più sottile – e la più sputtanata, in era di post-postmodernità – delle arti. La grafica. ‘Cuore’ artistico di Buenos Aires Poetry, l’autorevole rivista argentina diretta da Juan Arabia (che abbiamo intervistato qui), Camila Evia (un’ampia selezione dei suoi lavori la trovate qui) attraverso un lavoro audace e micidiale, ‘veste’ l’opera di scrittori e poeti, da Michel Houellebecq ad Arthur Rimbaud, da Edgar Allan Poe a Borges ai contemporanei, con una predilezione per la sovreccitazione tipografica di un Marinetti e di un Kirchner.

Pubblichiamo una selezione di lavori grafici realizzati da Camila Evia

Particolarmente intenso il lavoro con Ezra Pound, se non altro perché il poeta americano, spesso ignobilmente bistrattato, ci ha mostrato il genio ‘ideogrammatico’ dei versi, per cui ogni lettera, ogni parola, anzi tutto è ‘immagine’, è segno, poi è anche suono, significato. Detto altrimenti, il lavoro di Camila, Ofelia spregiudicata – dentro l’opera di ogni scrittore di getta con surplus di entusiasmo – dell’arte grafica, già nota oltre il ring di Buenos Aires, negli States, ad esempio, è roba unica, da tradurre in questo lato di mondo, dove i poeti si fa fatica a leggerli, figuriamoci a rivestirli di amorevolezza estetica. Intanto, l’abbiamo intervistata.

Come è nata l’idea di fare arte attraverso la grafica, deviando da un pregiudizio consolidato?

“Per lavorare nell’ambito del design editoriale è necessario essere disposti a proporre una lettura e un’esperienza particolari, oltre a dare una identità solida all’estetica dell’intero progetto. Di arte attraverso la ‘grafica’, in effetti, si parla poco, perché quasi tutti considerano il design come uno strumento al servizio del mercato e della pubblicità”.

Il modo in cui lei traduce poesia e letteratura in opera grafica è intrigante. Come lavora? Quali sono i poeti che ama di più? Che libri legge?

“Cerco di generare punti di tensione tra i contrasti (tra dimensioni, forme, colori o solidità degli elementi); la tipografia di solito è la vera protagonista, per la sua immensa potenza e la presenza nel linguaggio. Quando si tratta la poesia è impossibile non dare uno spazio importante ai caratteri tipografici: al di là del significato delle parole altri significati si manifestano attraverso il font utilizzato, il colore, lo spessore… voglio dire che molte cose parlano simultaneamente oltre al testo in sé… è un gioco di equilibri. Quanto alle letture, ho letto moltissima poesia, che è parte del mio lavoro, di solito mi entusiasmo molto leggendo gli autori su cui lavoro: Artur Rimbaud, Dan Fante, Luis Omar Cáceres, Dylan Thomas, i Beat… Lavorare su Ezra Pund, ad esempio, nel numero speciale di Buenos Aires Poetry è stato eccezionale perché c’era davvero molto materiale che fungeva da ispirazione e che era utile a risignificare la nostra visione di quell’autore e di quegli artisti che a lui si sono legati. Penso al lavoro realizzato da Wyndham Lewis all’inizio del XX secolo attraverso la rivista BLAST: per me è stato utilissimo. Quanto ai romanzi: J.D. Salinger, John Fante, Manuel Puig, Enoch A. Bennet, John Kennedy Toole, André Gide, Simone de Beauvoir, per citarne alcuni…”.

A proposito di Buenos Aires Poetry: di quella rivista lei è il cuore ‘artistico’. Come è cominciata la sua partecipazione a BAP?

“Tutto è iniziato con la rivista stampata. Con Juan Arabia abbiamo deciso di selezionare e di pubblicare i testi che sono stati preliminarmente editi on line. In questo modo, ho dovuto dare una forte identità ai testi stampati, in modo che riflettano allo stesso modo la potenza e la forza ermetica della poesia”.

Che vita culturale si respira a Buenos Aires: si lavora bene? Lei è felice di abitare a Buenos Aires? Come si vive a Buenos Aires?

“Qui è molto difficile e costoso riuscire compiere i propri progetti in modo tranquillo. Questo in un primo momento è uno svantaggio, ma in altri casi è una fortuna, perché si finisce per lavorare con una insospettabile qualità: la capacità di mutare il negativo in un valore estetico”.

Quali sono i suoi artisti preferiti, perché?

“El Lissitzky, Henri Matisse, Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, sono i miei artisti prediletti; ma ammiro anche i grandi maestri del design italiano, come Filippo Tommaso Marinetti o Albe Steiner e molti altri. Li amo perché in qualche modo posso proiettarmi nella loro opera e prendere e restituirne alcuni tratti nel mio lavoro”.

How did the idea of doing art through the graphics come about? What is your training? Trabajar con el diseño editorial requiere de la voluntad de proporcionar una lectura y experiencia particular además de otorgar una identidad sólida a la estética de todo el proyecto. El arte a través de “lo gráfico” es algo de lo que se habla poco, creo que esto se debe a que casi todo el mundo considera al diseño como una herramienta que está al servicio del mercado y la publicidad. Then. The world in which you translate poetry and literature into a graphic work is fascinating. How do you work? Which are the poets you love the most? What books do you read? Busco generar puntos de tensión a través de los contrastes (entre tamaños, formas, colores o solidez de los elementos), la tipografía suele ser protagonista por su inmenso poder y presencia en el lenguaje. Al tratarse de poesía es casi inevitable no darle un lugar importante a los caracteres tipográficos: más allá del significado de las palabras operan otros sentidos que se manifiestan mediante el tipo de letra utilizada, su color o su espesor… es decir muchas cosas hablan en simultáneo a demás del texto en si… es un juego de equilibrios. Leo muchísima poesía ya que forma parte de mi trabajo, por lo general me entusiasmo mucho con el autor con el que me toca trabajar: Arthur Rimbaud, Dan Fante, Luis Omar Cáceres, Dylan Thomas Los Beat… Trabajar con Ezra Pound, por ejemplo, en el Nº Especial de Buenos Aires Poetry fue genial por que había mucho material que sirvió de inspiración y referencia para resignificar nuestra mirada acerca de ese autor y de todos los autores que pueden vincularse con él. Fue de gran ayuda todo el trabajo realizado por Wyndham Lewis a principios del siglo XX con BLAST! Novelas: J.D Sallinger, John Fante, Manuel Puig, Enoch A. Bennet, John Kennedy Tool, André Gidé, Simone de Beauvoir, por nombrar algunos…

In the Buenos Aires Poetry project you are the ‘artistic’ heart. How does your participation in BAP happen? Esto empezó gracias a la revista impresa. Con Juan Arabia tuvimos la voluntad de seleccionar e imprimir las cosas que se publicaban de manera online entonces hubo que otorgarle una fuerte identidad a los objetos impresos de manera tal que refleje el poder y a la vez hermetismo de la poesía. What cultural air you breathe in Buenos Aires: do you work well? Are you happy to stay in Buenos Aires? How do you live there?

Aquí es muy difícil y costoso conseguir insumos para poder llevar a cabo la producción de una manera cómoda. Esto que en primera instancia funciona como una desventaja, en algunos casos resulta afortunado porque se terminan realizando trabajos con una particularidad insospechada: la habilidad para transformar lo adverso y otorgarle valor estético. What is your favorite artist? Why? What is your dream, what would you like to work with? El Lissitzky , Henri Matisse, Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, además admiro a los grandes maestros del diseño italiano como Filippo Tommaso Marinetti o Albe Steiner, entre muchísimo otros. Cero que me gustan por que de alguna manera puedo proyectarme en sus trabajos y así tomar y devolver algunos rasgos en el mío.

BÍO:

Camila Evia, San Martin de los Andes 1987. Egresada de la Facultad de Arquitectura, Diseño y Urbanismo de la Universidad de Buenos Aires, es directora artística de la editorial y revista Buenos Aires Poetry. Se ha desempeñado en el diseño editorial, a demás de la edición y la traducción. Sus trabajos fueron exhibidos en varios medios de Argentina, Estados Unidos y América Latina.

L'articolo Camila Evia: l’Ofelia della grafica che fa risorgere i grandi poeti proviene da Pangea.

from pangea.news http://ift.tt/2CR7bDK

#Cultura generale #main #Argentina #Borges #Buenos Aires #Buenos Aires Poetry #Cultura #Dylan Thomas

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amargueriteflower · 7 years

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Un menu 2 Krika à emporter s’il vous plaît !

C’est la première phrase que j’entends en mettant le pied au Tweat de Las Palmas. La première chose qui me vient à l’esprit c’est : ce client et moi avons eu la même idée apparemment !

J’arrive à la caisse au moment où il s’installe pour attendre sa commande et demande la même chose (pourquoi répéter ?), mais sur place.

Un menu 2 Krika sur place ! lance la dame avant de me tendre ma facture et de me demander de m’installer.

Je choisis une place vers la baie vitrée (j’aime bien être près des baies vitrées) et j’attends maximum 7 min avant de voir mon plateau venir à moi. Entre temps, j’ai déjà entendu 5 autres commandes de 2 Krika à emporter. Apparemment, ce menu fait des émules !

Dans mon assiette je comptabilise en plus de ma boisson, des frites et du délicieux piment de Tweat, une cuisse de poulet et 5 petits morceaux en majorité des ailes. Les frites sont saupoudrées cette fois-ci de poivre et de sel et non de paprika (quelque chose me dit qu’ils lisent les remarques). Les morceaux de poulets eux ont été marinés dans un mélange de curry, de tomates, de paprika… (c’est ce que je peux dire). Le piment est un mélange de piment, de mayonnaise et d’autres ingrédients que je n’arrive pas à déterminer pour le moment.

Je me souviens du premier menu Tweat 2 Krika composé de pain à hamburger et d’un œuf, une vraie arnaque un malentendu. Une expérience qui m’a laissé un souvenir impérissable ! Le post d’une personne influente du Net a mis un terme à cette première version et a donné naissance à la deuxième version du menu 2 Krika.

A 2 Krika menu to take away please! This is the first sentence I hear by setting foot in the Las Palmas Tweat. The first thing that comes to mind is: this customer and I had the same idea apparently!

I arrive at the checkout when he settles to wait for his order and asks for the same thing (why repeat?), But on the spot.

A menu 2 Krika on the spot! Laughed the lady before handing me my bill and asking me to settle down. I choose a place towards the bay window (I like to be near the bay windows) and I wait maximum 7 min before seeing my tray come to me. In the meantime, I have already heard 5 other Krika orders to take away. Apparently, this menu does emulate!

In my plate I count in addition to my drink, fries and the delicious Tweat chili, a chicken thigh and 5 small pieces mostly wings. The fries are sprinkled this time with pepper and salt and not paprika (something tells me they read the remarks). The chicken pieces were marinated in a mixture of curry, tomatoes, paprika … (that’s what I can say). The pepper is a mixture of chilli, mayonnaise and other ingredients that I can not determine at the moment.

I remember the first menu Tweat 2 Krika consisting of hamburger bread and an egg, a real scam a misunderstanding. An experience that left me an unforgettable memory! The post of an influential person on the Net put an end to this first version and gave birth to the second version of the menu 2 Krika.

2 Krika de Tweat c’est comment ?

Le Menu : Les frites sont excellentes, le piment est l’un de mes coups de cœur, mais comme je le dis et je le redis aujourd’hui la quantité est infime ! Le poulet est en portion généreuse pour le prix, la marinade est excellente, la cuisson devrait par contre être légèrement plus poussée pour un léger craquant au lieu de cette sensation de juste cuit. La boisson est bien fraîche et il n’y a rien de tel qu’une boisson bien fraîche.

Note : 2,5/5

Le service : C’est un fast food et pourtant le plateau vient nous trouver à notre table (il y a des endroits où ce n’est pas le cas). La dame de la caisse est souriante et respectueuse. Celle qui apporte le plateau également. Le plateau contient l’essentiel pour se nourrir. Il y a la possibilité de demander un verre pour la boisson sinon il y a une paille pour la consommer (elle est en canette). On donne un seul kleenex, mais je suppose que si l’on en demande on en aura plus. Le mieux serait bien sûr d’en mettre sur les tables.

Note : 4/5

L’hygiène : Les tables, plateaux et couverts sont propres, les pailles également, les toilettes par contre sont moyennement propres, mais ils peuvent faire mieux. Les toilettes sont en commun avec la station, mais ce n’est pas une excuse.

Note : 2,5/5

Avis final

pour 2 Krika (2000 FCFA) on a droit à une boisson et un plat, le repas est suffisant pour apporter la satiété et est également bon. Est-ce que je commanderai encore un menu 2 Krika à Tweat ? Oui.

Note : 3/5 pour le Tweat de Las Palmas

The Menu: The fries are excellent, the pepper is one of my favorites, but as I say and I repeat it today the quantity is very small! The chicken is generously portioned for the price, the marinade is excellent, cooking should be slightly higher for a light cream instead of just cooked. The drink is very fresh and there is nothing like a fresh drink.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

The service: It is a fast food and yet the tray comes to us at our table (there are places where it is not the case). The lady in the box is smiling and respectful. The one that brings the tray also. The tray contains essentials for feeding. There is the possibility of asking for a drink for the drink otherwise there is a straw to consume it (it is in a can). We give a single kleenex, but I suppose if you ask for it, you’ll get more. The best thing would be to put them on the tables.

Note: 4/5

Hygiene: The tables, trays and cutlery are clean, the straws also, the toilet by cons are moderately clean, but they can do better. The toilets are in common with the resort, but this is not an excuse.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

Final Notice

For 2 Krika (2000 FCFA) you get a drink and a dish, the meal is enough to bring satiety and is also good. Will I still order a 2 Krika menu from Tweat? Yes.

Note: 3/5 for the Tweat de Las Palmas

# food #foodie #restaurant #ci #ci225 #team225 #love #follow 2 KRIKA de Tweat c'est comment ? Un menu 2 Krika à emporter s’il vous plaît ! C’est la première phrase que j’entends en mettant le pied au Tweat de Las Palmas.

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