#did I cast ramona in most of them? yes yes I did | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together! or Days of Summer

Hello all you happy scottaholics! Welcome back to those of you who’ve read the rest of this retrospective and welcome to those of you just joining us. This is the Scottrospective, my look at all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the game and the movie. It’s all the video game refrenes, slice of life story telling and boob punches you can handle!

It’s been three months since I left off with “The Infinite Sadness” , and while I intended to cover this one for Valentine’s Day, my schedule got away from me and with March being full up, this ended taking till April

I”m not too put off by it though as the hiatus between these two reviews is fitting for this one both in story and out. In story there’s a couple month time skip between books, while out.. this book got delayed a few times.

This is notable to me at least because this was the first volume of the series I bought when it came out. As i’ve brought up before I came into the series via the Free Comic Book Day Issue and the second and third volumes, picking one up later. I still have my original copies despite no longer really needing them thanks to having the color editions in general. Always will provided something dosne’t happen to them. So this was my first instalment that I got to read fresh and got to wait for and be hyped about and i’d saved enough money that I was able to pre-order it. So the experince of waiting and waiting for the book only to keep seeing it slide back is vivid in my mind as is the frustration I felt having the one thing I COULD NOT WAIT FOR, keep going further and further back.

So with this long wait and the fact I bought this one when it came out, as I would for the next two which didn’t get delayed thank god, this volume naturally means a lot for me. When I wrote Scott Pilgrim fanfiction, this volume’s status quo is what I based it on. It was the coolest to me and the one I loved to reread the most. It has the most contained story, the most character growth at the time, and the best art due to Bryan’s style having finally hit it’s stride. Not that the art for volumes 1-3 is bad mind you, but it’s very clear his style was changing and shaping into what it is now with each one and while it’d change a bit more, this volume is where the style and quality everyone thinks of when they think of this series and the kind you see on various art done from it comes from.

So as you can tell i’m excited for this one. Before we get started there WERE two shorter comics released between this one both for Free Comic Book day, the first of which, Free Scott Pilgrim, is the reason I got into the series and the second, the Wonderful World of Kim Pine .. was both delightful and sets up Kim moving in with Hollie for this volume. Originally I intended to cover these in this review.. but I realized they wouldn’t of helped the pacing and this review is going to be way longer than my standard as is.

So instead I came up with the compromise. I did review them.. but as bonus reviews on my patreon. For just one buck a month you can read them and help me reach my stretch goals which now include reviews of Lost at Sea, Seconds and SnotGirl, aka Bryan’s OTHER comics. You can find my patreon THROUGH THIS LINK HERE if your intrested in the exclusives or helping me reach my reviews. I also intend to do an exclusive of Monica Beetle, a short comic Bryan did starring Scott’s dad in the 70s at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that, as well as the three strips he did of Style, the comic that gave us the prototypes for Lisa and Kim.

I will talk about their connections and setups for this volume briefly: FSP sets up the next ex as a ninja, with Roxy having a bunch of posters come to live and pummel our boy, while Wonderful World has Hollie tell Kim she can move in with her. It’s not much, hence why i made these exclusives but they are good stories, so check them out. And with that JOIN ME UNDER THE CUT, as we enter Scott’s world once more as he grapples with the past, employment, and saying the L-Word... which might be Lesbians. I don’t know. Find out bellow!

So we open Two Months after Volume 3 with a beach birthday party! Complete with Kim in a swim suit!

But it’s for Julie who lobs a volley ball at Scott’s head when he and Ramona try to make out.

I also dont’ know if “Manfiesting out of all the world’s collectives sorrows” counts as a “birth” necessarily but whatever. I love a good beach story. It’s just a fun setitng for swimming, romance and battling a giant crab with the help of the bird what lives in your backpack.

So after the beach our heroes get dinner and Ramona sweetly calls Scott the nicest guy she’s ever dated. He responds with “That’s sad”. Blunt, but entirely accruate. Julie calls it pathetic and tries to counter Ramona RIGHTFULLY saying “who the hell asked you?” something that really should come after EVERYTHING Julie said with “Back off bitch i’ts my birthday”

So later that night Sex Bomb-Omb has a beach sing along, and I can’t help but notice Neil’s hairy legs.

I mean yes it does make since for a 19 year old to have leg hair, but of all the characters besides Stephen, the ONLY other character we’ve seen it with to give it to, why the character you specifically single out as “Young” it’s just a weird choice I never noticed before.

But anyways Julie has to whine about it because she’s Julie, she can’t stand other people being happy and complains the song...

One of my faviorite moments of the series. Knives puts a nicer spin on it, she’s here too and not over with Neil because, as we’ll find out later they broke up, but she just asks if Knives should be drinking. She shouldn’t but for fucks sake lady she was just trying to talk. I also do like that despite Julie trying to control Ramona’s love life, you know the thing the VILLIANS are doing, Ramona cannot stand her now.. and honestly probably never did.

But Julie, SOMEHOW turns out to be right for once as Kim and Knives have disappeared later that night, and Scott elects to go look for them. Also Ramona says she wants to marry kim while drunk after Julie asks if she does. The throuple is strong with these three... serioulsy that’s my one true pairing for all three now. I mean it ballances out their collective flaws, it’s cute and Ramona is just as into her boyfriends ex as she is her actual boyfriend even when she’s not hamered. Why the fuck not?

Scott instead finds the two making out. I will confess I shipped these two when I was younger.. but I don’t. Not because their gay or anything or because I found another ship for them but because the age gap is still just as wide as it was for Scott. The game did not get this memo and made them a couple which is... ehhhhhhhhh. I mean I wouldn’t mind either being bi, but it just brings up the same problems even if their both hammered. I also question why this scene exists. No really outside of one face punchingly dickish comment from Scott later, this never comes up again and it doesn’t effect Kim’s or Knives character any. Why have this? it’s clearly not fanservice, it’s just a thing that happened. And while Scott Pilgrim as a series does have some of those, as does life and that’s fine.. this is a bit too major, i.e. Kim and Knives, two of the main cast, making out, drunkenly or not, to just.. gloss over you know? I feel Kim would feel majorly guilty for this, as she has the most active moral compass of the main group, and Knives would be massively confused but it’s just.. forgotten because I dunno. In a story that’s otherwise pretty stellar this stands out as an utter waste of potential. I’m not saying have them hook up, gay or not it’s still not better than what Scott did, but have them at least talk about it and have both grow or something from it. Sheesh.

So we cut to.. another day. Maybe the next day I dunno but it’s August. Point is Scott and Wallace are grocery shopping and Wallace notes they can’t get fancy mayo as their barely in budget. I would’ve glossed over this scene... but @panur pointed out back around the Infinite Sadness review that this scene reveals something very intrestng: Scott.. is kind of a fincial burdern to Wallace. Before this while Scott mooched off him it wasn’t all that clear that Wallace was struggling.

But here we notice that outside of some Havarti, it’s just the simplest stuff imaginable: turkey, bread, boxed mac and cheese ramen noodles... it’s nto BAD stuff, I have all of that in my house and it’s good stuff... but it’s not the kind of thing that you need to carefully budget for. Now granted part of this probably is Wallace as he likely spends a LOT on drinks, condoms and two 2 liters of diet soda a day.. but while he really needs to adress his alcohol issues, the rest is fair. He should be allowed to have as much sex and diet coke as he wants it’s his money. Same with the havarti. He earned it if he wants some really delcious cheese with herbs, seriously Havarati is the best, then that’s his bidness. But the rest of the time he’s barely managing to get a basketfull of cheap food.. because he has to provide for Scott. It’s clearly something Scott dosen’t get and something I can relate to not getting. It took me a while to get how hard it is to budget for a full family, let alone two people on one income like Wallace has to. But Wallace is working on a nice job... but still a call center or something. He can’t pay for everything and the finccial stress is about to give as their landlord wants to meet with them. And as we’re about to learn things were even worse than we thought.

Our heroes head home where we get a truly iconic conversation when, over margeritas (again proving my point that while Scott certainly isn’t HELPIGN wallace’s finacials, it’s not all on him)

This will be imporant later.. both the Lesbians part and Scott’s struggle saying it. he tried earlier on the beach but couldn’t get it out and Ramona clearly didn’t want to hear it as she kapt sshhhhing him.. playfully of course but still.

So some time later it’s moving day! Kim is moving into Hollie and Josephs, and Scott, Stephen and Jason are helping. You might be wondeirng who the hell Jason is. He’s Kim’s boyfriend. I do not likes him. Not because he’s kim’s boyfriend, getting upset because a fictional character you fancy is dating is just patently stupid. I’ts like getting upset a celebrity crush is in a relationship: you had no chance anyway why. I wasn’t even bothered as a kid. I don’t really like him.. because he has no real personaliy and no real baring on the plot and I struggle to think why Bryan included him other than for a really annoying plot twist next time, which does not help my liking him knowing what’s coming.

But while our heroes help our heroine move in, and Scott is suprised Hollie is there despite Kim having told him a minute ago she was moving in with her, something I can relate to sadly, we get something vitally plot important; Stephen passes Joseph’s room.. and notices he has a small recording setup in his room. Stephen quickly begs him to record the band’s album and Joseph agrees if only because he finds Stephen hot. Eh i’ve seen better relationships start on less, fair enough. And yes I said relationship more on that in a bit.

So after a brief scene of Scott and Ramona having lunch where Scott fails to know her age and when Ramona says he could just ask.. hea sks and she dosen’t tell, not a bad scene character wise just not very plot important and probably should’ve bene swapped in order with the previous scene, we get to the next day. There’s a heat wave so Wallace orders Scott to go to the mall maybe find a job. He emphasises that.

Instead Scott just sorta bums around thirst but nto having any money.. until an old face shows up.

For those who forgot like Scott has, it’s Lisa Miller from the Volume 2 flashback, the girl who had a crush on Scott and was close friends with him and Kim. After a tackle hug and some panic Scott eventually remembers.... if in a curiously unique and self serving way

At the time this was just hilarous. Now it’s very clear foreshadowing for the big twist in Volume 6. The two catch up while Scott is very clearly attracted to her but very clearly dosen’t want to be, with Lisa wondering where kim is, finding about Ramona, etc, before offering Scott lunch as the two catch up and Scott is very conflicted about how he feels. It’s nice visual stuff as he’s blushing, something more clear in the color version and trying to desperatley sort things out. As for why Lisa’s here she’s moving to the states soon, but is staying with her sister for now.

So after an incdental scene with Wallace we catch up with Knives, who has broken up with Neil. And after some talk about Clash at the Demonhead, Tamra notes Knives apparently put a big x on her shrine of Scott... which baffles Knifves as she sure as hell didn’t do it and is still, sadly, obessed with Scott as ever. Granted Tamra isn’t at all helpful here claiming she did it even when she says she didn’t, is clearly confused and while yes we don’t know who else would care Tams, that just makes it all the more creepy. Stop gaslighting your bestie, she’s already got enoguh issues. She dosen’t need thinking she might have a split personality on top of the stalking, obession over a guy who has no intrest in loving her back, and attempted stabbings. Knives dosesn’t get a ton of focus in this one sadly. She kind of takes a back seat, and while sh’es not GONE from the volumle and someone close to her does impact it, she dosen’t really have any personal progression, negative or positive, like she does in every other volume, a shame since her personal jouney is one of the most intresting of the main cast.

Anyways that night Scott hangs out with Lisa, having not gotten around to telling Ramona she exists yet and plays a game of find the Kim Pine. She goes to Neil’ and Stephen’s place for practice, but finds no one there and Neil being a dick... get used to that it’s going to get about 80 times worse soon enough. Though we do get this classic panel i’ve gotten some use out of

He goes to Kim’s place, but she , Hollie and Satan’s Misterss have all left to Sneaky Dee’s, the local mexican place, for something to eat and Stephen is either high or doing.. something with Joseph.

Yeah i’m not hiding that Stephen turns out to be gay in the final volume or cheating on Bitch and a Half with Joseph. And even if I hate Julie with the power of a frozen sun, I still dont’ think cheating on her is kosher. He could’ve just broken up with her and while part of it was likely confusion, and he could also be bi and not decided which one he wanted to be with, it’s still a dick move.. and later makes him a hypocrite but that’s a rant for next volume.

So our heroes FINALLY find Kim, along with Hollie and Mouthface. And a nice thing I like is that Kim and Lisa are just.. increidbly close, happily catching up and making plans to hang before Lisa leaves, that despite Lisa having feelings for Scott the two ended up as close and She and Scott did and i’ts sweet to see. it’s also just.. rare to see Kim GENUINELY happy. I mean look at her

It’s not like she HASN’T smiled across the series but normally she’s just so miserable, likely because her best friends are a grumbly asshole who forces them to hang out with a raging typhoon of bitchiness, and an insenitive asshat who she never got closure with. This is the first decent human being whose not Ramona or Hollie, and that last one’s not going to last, in a while. It’s genuinely sweet to just see her.. enjoy the moment for once, honestly engaged with someone. Ramona shows up and finally meets Lisa, who apparently was on Degrassi.. I mean she says candaian show no one ever watched, and I watched that plenty but i’d like to think she was on there for a season or two. I liked Degrassi.. I honeslty miss it and think it could use some form of revivial and think porting it to netflix was a smart decision.. what wasn’t so smart was not having the other seasons leading into it on there. Need to watch more of it.

So the next day Ramona stumbles into Scott’s dreams and both are annoyed, with Ramona suggesting he get a job. This finally gets him to try. He asks about Wallace’s work but understandably, he dosen’t really want scott there and asks if he even knows. So Scott sets out to ask his other friends for jobs, while Knives shows up saying she’s “totally not stalking him” but someone is following HER, a mysterious spiky haired dude in a black leather jacket, shades and with a sword on his back. Whu-oh.

He tries Second Cup, with Julie annoyed that Stephen’s recording.. it’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed because she’s a bitch or because Stephen is both gneuinely annoying right now and clearly screwing around behind her back. My take?

But Scott realizes maybe getting a job at his Sister’s place of work who also works with his arch enemy might be stupid and backs out. He next tries Kim’s, but backs out of that too, admitting to kim it’d be stupid and Kim lists off all the reasons (His lack of resume, the fact them working together would be stresful and his ountain of late fees) why that’d be stupid, but in a jovial way. For once i’ts clear that while she’s still taking the piss out of them she isn’t mad at Scott.

In fact she genuinely helps him get a job, taking him to Stephen’s work since hers is dead right now anyway, a vegan place. While Scott naturally compares things to a job system as he’d start as dishwasher while Stephen taught him prep, Scott agrees to genuinely take this seriously and Stephen’s boss decides “eh why not” when he asks her to employ him. Scott is gainfully employed baby! God I miss that. Seriously i’m not pimping my patreon for shits and giggles.

But as he celebrates and Kim wishes she could punch his life in the face, they run into some trouble on the way home: Katana man who slices a motherfucking bus in half and chases them, with Scott reluctnat to fight because he has a sword and Scott does not, which is valid. He does escape though using subspace. He and Kim part awkardly and he returns home to Wallace throwing a party with two intresting charcters, a woman and a man of color, one of the few in the entire work, who are never seen again.

The next night is practice.. or rather recording, and we start to see Neil get edged out, with him unable to come due to exams and clearly not happy about it, and Stephen just kind of ignoring anything he cares about like the dickhead he is. It dosen’t get any better as “recording” ends up just being Scott, Ramona, and Ratfaced Knacker watching bored with Joseph and Stephen work. Eventaully Scott and Ramona decide to get out of there as things are getting tensed between thing one and thing bitch, and leave.. and take Julie with them for some reason.

So the three have dinner with Lisa, Kim, and Jason before The Mummies Curse thankfully leaves. Jason thought they were friends.

We also get this exchange.

I mean.. she is the better option. She his THE option. But before we can get the obvious answer of

Stephen comes in with Knives. He smuggled her in. This leads to problems when Scott returns from the bathroom to find Queen Bitch throwing a bitch fit about him having brought her and screechs at her when she dares to talk to him “How do you even know my name?” Well Ted Cruz, you see when someone is an actually thoughtful and likes other people, they keep track of things about them and don’t constnatly tear them down or assume their partneer is automatically bonking a 17 year old instead of you know, actually forming something of a friendship and not shutting her out sensing she needs this friend group. Some people are not vacous piles of vitriol who care about nothing but themself and seem to go off at the slightest thing.

Scott takes Ramona home but finds a drunken barely awake wallace so no sexy times. Not that he could anyway as the next day is the meeting with Peter their landlord.

Peter reveals they’ll have to clear out by the 27th as their lease was for one year and their paid up.. as in only the first and last month. The two part melacholy knowing this sucks and isn’t a great situation. Then it’s time for Scott to work work, angelica, work work, eliza and peggy. After grueling day, can relate, he runs into a wisp on teh wend and steels himself for a fight.. okay he bitches about it being too hot but it’s Scott. so it’s expected. He does get a hit in on his mysterious persuer.. and that’s when we meet Roxy.

Via boob punch, something Scott’s not proud of but in his defense, as Roxy keeps complaning about it, he was blindly struggling for a hit and din’t know the next Ex, or any of them, were female.. not that Ramona didn’t suggest it loudly enough by empahsising “exes” but scott’s a bit of a fuckwit. She mentions “everyone allways remmebers you”.. which is kind of ominus and tells me she tried to hook back up with ramona despite her having a boyfriend and she rejected her. Still on good terms though. But this confusing encounter ends with Roxy vowing she’ll get him next time gadget, next time.

So we get some assorted slice of life scenes with the band, lisa and what have you as Scott tries to get in touch with Ramona but she keeps avoiding him. THat’s not worrysome at all. And Lisa brings up high school while drunk and clearly hits on Scott. He sidesteps it with her drunkness.. but this clearly isn’t over or going to stop being a problem.

Speaking of problems Wallace makes Scott confront the truth: He either needs to find a new place to live or commit to staying, though Wallace is trying to nudge him toward asking Ramona to move into her place. Scott starts thinking it over, it being very hard especially since, as Stephen points out this was his very first place of his own.. but Stephen also points out these things are temoporary.. right before Scott ducks from katana guy.

At work Scott wonders who it could be, though it turns out Stephen’s met him before, as he’s brought his family in here. So he’s PROBABLY not one of the exes.. but it leaves the question why he wants to cut Scott in half like Dewey Cox’s brother. But it turns out he’s nto the only enemy Scott’s casually running into as Roxy is there too.. with Ramona.

The two talk, clearly about Scott and Lisa with Roxy trying to convince her he’s cheating and Ramona rightfully trusting Scott: while he IS attracted to her, he’s been fighting it every step of the way. Scott storms over to find out what’s going on and while Ramona is more distracted by his new job, she eventually realizes Roxy did attack him and he simply dscribed her poorly when he mentioned the incident over the phone. Scott is confused as he dosen’t get it. Is she with one of the exes what? After some hiinting from both parties, and Roxy rightfully mocking him for not getting the obvious... he finallyg ets it in the grandest way possible.

So Roxy gets ready to fight and Scott can’t because sword, and gets fired in the background as he hides in Ramona’s bag and Ramona prepares to step in. Roxy screams at her for trusting him and defending him when Ramona.. just dosen’t her boyfriend to be bisected by her ex. A fight insues and a damn cool one at that. I honestly wish the movie had taken more from this, but simply didn’t have time leading it to instead be more like the envy fight with a bit of the Winfried Hailey fight from Free Scott Pilgrim.

Roxy chases her and Ramona rightly points out Scott can’t run forever but takes him into Subspace.. where Roxy heads them off, having “taught you everything you know bitch” leading to a cool fight in the wintery version of subspace. Again why THIS wasn’t used instead I have no real idea. We also find out she’s a half ninja but she eventually leaves afer Ramona presses that button.. but Rammy is actually apologetic about it and Roxy’s “I hope you and your 24 children are happy together comment” is telling.

Upon this readthrough of the volume.. I realized Roxy is the most layered and intresting of the exes next to Gideon himself. None of them are out and out terrible, but most of them have pretty simple motives: to kill Scott, ???, profit. Or in Todd’s case to kill scott, bang around and be a dick. But Roxy.. genuinely wants Ramona back. She’s the ONLY one who does: Gideon kinda does, but only in the sense that he wants her for his collection. But Roxy geninely still loves her, admitting so during this fight. And it’s not like she has no chance: out of the 7 exes she’s the ONLY one who parted with Ramona on anything resembling good terms. While intrestingly we don’t find out WHY they broke up, Ramona didn’t cheat on her like she did everyone else she was with. The two have coffee and hang out and Ramona geninely dosen’t even consider until Roxy tries to attack Scott that she’d really try killing him and tries her best to talk her out of it. But what holds Roxy back is her anger: She’s so bitter about the fact Ramona is bi or pan, so dedicated to viewing Ramona’s very orintation as a betryal (though Ramona calling it a phase dosen’t help and the movie RIGHTLY has Roxie comment on it and fly into a rage over it), and so driven to make sure the woman she loves dosen’t get hurt again that it blinds her to the fact Ramona dosen’t love her the same way anymore, and that while Scott is objectively a dick, and a cheater, and a greasy buttcrack pooflap, he is not a terrible person. A meh one sure, but he’s got good to him. She’s so biophobic she simply can’t see he’s a harmless moron.. well harmless to Ramona even with the cheating. He’s killed two people at this point and will kill again. Also she apparently has issues with only being a half ninja but this is never adressed. Point is Roxy’s really grown on me and is now probably my faviorite ex.

Scott and Ramona talk it over on their way to Sneaky Dees and Scott finally asks to move in and gets a yes. His response is downright adorable.

So at Sneaky Dee’s Young Neil is just a bit absolutely irate with Scott.. which isn’t fair as them not playing things is entirely on the blocky face asshole. Yell at him.. which he does, pointing out that they haven’t played shows in forever, and that the lady who owns Sneaky Dees not only runs shows, in the upstairs space, but has been asking them to play. Kim is rightly curious about this and to both Stephen just keeps saying “We’re recording right now.” And some of you may of wondered why I hate him. Well while he’s not exctly stellar in the first half in the second Stephen becomes goddman insufferable, slowly destroying the band for his affair and not giving one iota of a shit what anyone else wants. He’s a selfish, egomanical cheating prick. And yes I get it their recording an album.. but doing live shows would give them extra practice, MONEY, even if likely not a lot and exposure for said album. I get professoinal bands stop touring for a bit to do an album but you are not a professional band, and said bands still often iron out the album on the road. God you suck.

But while Scott sidesteps this argument he walks into another where Ramona confronts him about lisa about liking her.. and he rightly says if there was anything, which there was not it’s in the past. And while yes he is a cheater, she does not know this yet. This plot honestly would’ve worked better if she learned about the knives thing sooner, but instead she just comes off as paranoid for listening to Roxy about something that isn’t happening. Yes Scott’s been shown to be attracted to her.. but he’s been ashamed of it, fighting it and in denial about it, and is clealry all in with Ramona. Being attracted to someone else on a phsyical level does NOT mean your relationship is doomed.

Things get worse as he goes home to ruminate.. and instead sees a man’s Penis. And Wallace..is at his second most unsymapthetic, not letting Scott get a shirt or a bus pass or something like a decent human being for no goddamn reason. Usually when Wallace is a dick to Scott, Scott’s earned it and badly needs a slap in the face. Here he’s just being a prick because.. the plot needs him to? I dunno it dosen’t work for me. It’s in character, I just don’t have to like it.

So with no other options.. Scott ends up at Lisa’s. And so we get the last temptation of Scott. Lisa admits, embarassed that she’s been wearing sexy dresses and what not specifically to attract him, with Scott also mentioning how things are rough, Lisa tries to fight it herself pointing out he’s with ramona.. and when Scott points out they didn’t do anything in the past Lisa points out they should’ve.. and maybe they should now.

We fade to black as Scott ends up in a dream and finds Roxy, who naturally has the same skill and tries to Freddy Kruger him before he wakes. He finds Lisa but they didn’t do anything: Scott pushed her away and babbled about how much he loved Ramona instead. As i’ve said.... his heart was never with LIsa... and even when he was so close to giving in he couldn’t. It’s a tangible sign of growth: He screwed around on Knives with Ramona, and given how bad things were getting with Ramona, it would be oh so easy to once again ditch a relationship the minute he found something else and oh so understandable. But... he dosen’t. He loves Ramona even if he hasn’t said it, he wants to make this work, and he’s changed. She’s changed him. He’s not quite a good man yet.. bu he’s getting to be good enough. Love turned him from a skeezy dumbass into a far more loveable dumbass. Ramona’s gotten him to stop dating a teenager (even if again he cheated), face his past with envy to finally move on and now get a job. He’s realized just hwo much she means to his life and world and so he goes to tell her.

Riggghtttt after going to get his job back and works a shift, with steven wanting to punch his life in the balls. Stephen shut the fuck up. Just because Scott is lucky and your stuck dating satan’s scrotum does not mean you get to punch his life int he balls. Kim does, because he’s put her through more shit but not you.

He goes to second cup to talk to Stacey.. only to end up at the wrong one where Knives also now has a job... and we finally get an answer to who the mystery katana guy is...

Yup turns out wielding giant weapons in vengance runs in the family. As for how he knows about Scott her aunt mentioned her boyfriend, everyone freaked out and obviously while her mom was mentioned as knowing in volume 1, they did not tell her dad whose brain turned into an engine of vengance and defaced the shrine. While part of it is apparnetly racisim for Scott being white the fact is he clearly saw Scott’s photograph. The guy is 5 years older. I get him being protective. Still dosen’t justify cutting off his head. His balls maybe but not his head.

And then Scott ran, once agian finding a subspace entracne.. and this time we see inside ramona’s head and well...

Yeah.. that’s.. kind of fucked, and Ramona isn’t happy scott saw that, though she backs down once Scott explains..a nd then gets upset over him staying at Lisa’s but before SCott can tell her he loves her it turns out Roxy stayed over. So yeah, Ramona might of cheated, she tells him to alk it off and he runs around in a psycadelic haze of emtoinal confusion. And meets.. someone new...

Scott snaps out of his funk and ignores his doppleganger heading back for Ramona... whose fighting Mr. Chau. Scott left the door to Ramona’s head open and he followed him through Subspace. Scott lures him into the house and away from her only to run into Roxy. This leads to both of his attackers fighting and her wondering if Gideons ent him “Why does no one ever belivie in me?!”

She soon realize no i’ts just unrelated and calls Scotto ut on hiding behind not having a sword and behind her being a woman, caling it a flimsy excuse. I mean she’s tring to kil lhim. It’s okay to hit an enemy combatant. Scott realizes he has to stop running... and get real with ramona leading to a truly epic, romantic and heartfelt speech and given how far he’s come and just how heartfelt it is it’s a real sign of how deep he feels. Sure we’ve seen genuine chemstiry between the two.. but htis moment is a shit.. from a simple relationship.. into true love.

I may of only had a few but Relationships are not easy, They take work, they take time, they take patience and theyt ake love.. but if your willing to work with someone, look past some flaws and help them with the rest.. then it’s worth it. And Scott has finally realized it and for the first time in a while is running TOWARDS something difficult, actually working on this relationship and talking with his partner instead of running finding someone else or wallowing. He’s truly grown up. While he still has miles to go.. he’s taken about 50 steps forward with this. And as such given the kind of unvierse we’re in, as Ramona is genuinely touched by it he levels up a glowing sword with a heart shaped hilt coming out of his chest.. and realizing what’s happening he pulls it out....

So Scott faces off with roxy and in an awesomly short battle, their sords clash.. and he bisects her.

Scott then honestly talks down Mr Chau who leaves after a nod, and Ramona tells Scott she loves him two. The two make out and all is well.

One make out fades into another, as we cut to Scott moving in with Kim and Blockhead’s help. Well kinda they only had one box but they owed him one. He and wallace comiserate over the end of their time as roomies. They’ll always be friend but it’s truly the end of an era. Also Wallace gets off another bit of dickery as he’’s very glad it all worked out for scott...

Now there’s the Wallace I know and love. Dickish but just the right loveable kind of douchebag with that swagger.

Back at Knives house she’s apparenlty into somebody though who I have no idea, Mr Chau give sher his blessing and she.. apparenlty doesen’t know chinese. I dunno. As I said her subplot this go round was her weakest overall.

And so we end with the whole gang gathered to see Lisa off. It’s a REALLY nice shot, and one of the only times Wallace is seen with the Sex Bomb omb side of the group. Oh sure he goes to their shows and what not, but generally their never in the same vincinity so while there’s no interaction I still find this neat. Seriously the whole main cast is there, it’s a really lovely shot

Also Jason and Hollie.. who are getting awfully chummy. Whu Oh. And of course Craphole and Mouth Face are as likeable as ever.

So we jsut get a genuinely nice sene. Except Stephen and Julie reconciling. Fuck that. Please move on. And as everyone fondly wishes Lisa adeu and wish she stuck arond the res tof the series we end on Scott and Ramona snuggling, Scott asking her her birthday and finding out she’s 24, and they both will be come september. Scott wishes this moment could last.

They probperly snuggle as the volume ends on a high.

Final Thoughts:

Yeah.. Gets it Together is, on rexamination, DEFINTELY my faviorite of the 6. Besides personal value i’ts hte best contained story, contaning lots of character development, great character moments, jokes, and EASILY the best art so far, with goregouness and creativty abounding.

There is a problem here or there: Stephen and Julie’s subplot feels underbaked, and not just because I hates them, and there are several scenes that don’t further plot or character stuff. Ther’es also stuff that could’ve been expanded on.. but given this is still a pretty meaty graphic novel, it’s understandable why it wasn’t.. though it is why I’d love a streaming series since while the movie is excellent, a full series could expand on stuff from the books more Brian simply didn’t have time for. Knives also didn’t get a lot to do.

But their drowned out by tons of great decisions: Lisa was a wonderful additoin to the cast and I genuinely wish she’d stuck around, adding in some energy, blending well with the Sex Bomb Omb crowd, and having great dynamics with everyone and her arc with Scott is heartbreaking,knowing she can’t have him but wanting him anyway having never gottne proper closure on the man she’s always wanted. She’s a heartbreaking character and its nice to see her end in a decent place and on good terms with Scott, having let him go for both thier sakes.

And while Lisa is a highlight everyone is on their a game here for the most part apart from knives, girl hitler, and captain dumbass: Scott grows signfigantly but is funny as hell, Wallace has an intresting arc trying to nudge Scott out without being overt about it, scared to really confront him, Kim is in a happy and serene place for once and it shows. The villians are also intresting: While Mr Chau is a tad underbaked, he’s sitll a cool imposing presence. I do think he shoudl’ve had more to do with the plot.. but is still just so freaking cool it papers over that and him just.. disappearing after this like poor Lisa.

Roxy is far more intresting, having clearly more going on than we see and while I wish we’d got her backstory, she’s easily the most engaging of the exes, being the only one to actively compete with Scott (All her and ramona end up doing is making out a little it turned out), and have bigger stakes than just “The glasses wearing douche asked me to beat up my exes boyfriend and I was like alright.

All in all Gets it Together is really magical, the series high point, and just damn fun and it was a pleasure to go through

Next Month on Scott Pilgrim: It all falls down as we take a look into what once was my least faviorite Album, vs the unvierse. Two perfect assholes try and murder scott with Robutts, his relationship and band crumble and things get sad so very very sad.

Next on this blog: More LIlo and Stitch! The Proud Family come to Kauai and get into a fight with our heroes. Also wizard kelly... who if nothing else is now far more tolerable now i’ve had to spend another volume with the wicked bitch of the west. Touche universe touche. See you at the next rainbow.

#scott pilgrim #ramona flowers #wallace wells #roxanne richter #knives chau #stephen stills #julie power #mr chau #stacey pilgrim #neil nordgraf #young neil #comics #oni press #scotrospective #lisa miller #kim pine #jospeh

63 notes · View notes

wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

Text

Psycho Analysis: The League of Evil Exes

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of the greatest cult classics of the 2010s for a wide variety of reasons: it had great performances, it got a video game adaptation that didn’t suck, it had an awesome soundtrack, and best of all, it apparently ruined an entire generation of women! What couldn’t this movie do (besides make a profit at the box office)? Of course, more than anything, this movie delivered on the promise of its premise by having Scott Pilgrim fight against the seven evil exes of his manic pixie dream girl Ramona Flowers.

That’s right: There’s not one, not two, not three, but seven villains to talk about in this movie!

Thankfully, this massive amount of villains makes it a lot easier to talk about them, because each of them basically gets only a single scene with which to establish their characterization and deliver a fun, exciting battle. Still, it’s pretty interesting to look at them, especially since not all exes are created equal. As a note, I’m obviously not doing a “Best Scene” for these guys because... they basically have one scene each. It would be redundant.

Motivation/Goals: The League of Evil Exes has a very simple goal: to control the future of Ramona’s love life. As Lucas says during his battle with Scott: “The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?” This is especially funny because Lucas is probably the least evil of the lot. While this is an incredibly simple motivation, it fits with the tone of the movie; this is a sort of a Bowser-esque motivation, one that perfectly fits a movie that is so steeped in video game culture.

Performance: Lets go one by one here:

Satya Bhabha is the first of the evil exes, Matthew Patel, and he really eases you into what to expect for the rest of the evil exes, though here “eases you into” means “grabs you by the balls and swings you over the head like a chimpanzee.” Despite his meager screentime, he makes the most of it, delivering a Bollywood-esque musical number complete with fireballs and demon hipster chicks and generally just hamming it up. This right here is just a warmup, though, because things get crazier from here – just like in a video game, really.

Lucas Lee, the second evil ex, is a big-shot movie star regarded as a pretty good actor by all who see him. Unfortunately, they got some unknown weirdo named Chris Evans to play him, but casting this obscure indie actor certainly paid off, because Lucas Lee’s smug, over-confident portrayal combined with his affable nature make him one of the most enjoyable characters in the movie. He really comes off as a cool, cocky guy who just happens to be going up against our hero as opposed to being an actual antagonizing force.

Todd Ingram is the other best evil ex, and much like Lee it’s mostly because he’s a pretty nice guy. However, the key difference is while Lee was cocky and affable, Ingram is just kind of a ditz. Played by one-time Superman Brandon Routh, he opts to go for the more subuded route, a cold ham as opposed to a large ham, and he definitely makes it work; I did call him the OTHER best evil ex, after all.

Then we come to Roxy Richter, played by Katara herself, Mae Whitman. She’s a very angry, tomboyish lesbian who gets in a lot of great lines and shows off a very jaded, irritated personality in her limited screentime. She’s definitely a lot of fun, though apparently she has a lot of elements of Envy Adams due to being combined with an early idea to make her Ramona’s evil ex in the movie.

The Katayanagi Twins. Ken and Kyle, are… nothing. Because Keita and Shota Saitou (Kyle and Ken, respectively) did not speak English, the twins have no lines and don’t really get to establish much of a presence before dying. It’s a bit unfortunate, because it becomes really easy to forget these two are here as a result.

Gideon Gordon Graves is a smarmy, smug, condescending jackass. You have met a man like him before, and you have wanted to punch his face in. Jason Schwartzman really amps up the sleaze when playing this creepy, controlling bastard, making him a fitting final boss.

Final Fate: Each and every one of them is defeated by the end of their scenes, bursting into progressively larger amounts of coins, with Patel being pretty meager in terms of value and Gideon literally making it rain when he’s defeated. It does kind of feel weird that the twins are worth more than a beloved actor like Lucas Lee, or that Roxy is worth more than both Lee and a musician like Ingram, but frankly this isn’t really a movie where you should be overthinking stuff to begin with.

Best Quote: I don’t think I can really say Patel or Gideon have amazing, quotable lines to the extent as some of the others, but I’d be pretty remiss to not mention Todd’s legendary “...Chicken isn’t vegan…?” and Roxy’s equally legendary “Well honey… I’m a little bi-FURIOUS!” here. Lucas Lee has a lot of good lines but he’s quite frankly too consistent for me to pick one; Chris Evans really just went all-out for this one.

Final Thoughts & Score: Once again, let’s go one by one:

Matthew Patel

Matthew is the definition of a warmup boss, at least by the standards of this film. He brings a lot of insanity to the table all at once, what with his demons and Bollywood musical number and sick dance moves, but the fact he’s probably not the most insane and baffling character in the film really tells you something. He definitely makes the most of his screentime, and while his fight is relatively short, it’s a lot of fun. This man deserves an S-L-ICK 8/10.

Lucas Lee

Lucas Lee is probably the second best evil ex in the movie. He’s just so cocky, arrogant, and hilarious, and he still manages to come off as a bit polite. Its like if Captain America and Ransom Drysdale had a baby, Lucas Lee would be it. The fact he’s played by a pre-superstardom Chris Evans really is the icing on the cake here though, because his battle is fun and ends with Scott defeating him by playing into his arrogance. Ah! But he didn’t get his autograph… Oh well. Lucas Lee is an easy 10/10.

Todd Ingram

As much as I love Lee, I have to say that Todd easily has the most impressive fight in the entire film, in large part due to his awesome psychic powers he gains from being a vegan. I gave one of his legendary quotes up there, but frankly, the entire battle is awesome and quotable, the fact that at least half the battle is a rock-off is great, and the fact Scott tricks him in the most stupidly amazing to defeat him and put him at the mercy of the Vegan Police is just amazing. There’s also just the sheer novelty of how, with the power in hindsight, we got to see Superman (Routh) dating Captain Marvel (Brie Larson portrayed Envy, Scott’s ex and Todd’s girlfriend and bandmate). Todd is just a perfect, lovable idiot villain, and deserves nothing less than a 10/10.

Roxy Richter

Roxy actually gets to show up twice in the film, getting a brief scene with Scott a while before her identity is revealed. While her screentime doesn’t really amount to much, it really is incredible how much characterization they managed to pack into her limited screentime, her dialogue really selling how she is easily the most bitter and angry off all the exes. She seems genuinely hurt at some points that Ramona left her and considers her just a phase, though this of course doesn’t stop her from trying to ruin her life. In a weird way, I’d almost call her the most complex of the exes, and Mae Whitman does a great job at selling her. I will say though, despite her fight scene being filled with some of the best dialogue in the film (which is saying a lot, mind you), the overall fight is a little lackluster, and Ramona getting in makes it reek of “designated girl fight.” Still, there’s nothing so egregious about her that I’d give her anything less than a 9/10.

The Katayanagi Twins

These two, quite simply, suck. They get absolutely no characterization, they get no dialogue due to the actors not speaking English, they get no personality. They are, quite simply, just there, and they are just there because Scott needs to fight a fifth and sixth ex. There’s really not much to say here except that their fight scene is admittedly pretty cool and it’s fun to imagine how the hell their relationship with Ramona worked. Did they date her one after the other? Were they in a weird poly relationship? Did they both just spitroast her on the weekends? For those two things I’ll save them from the very bottom of the barrel and give them a 2/10.

Gideon Gordon Graves

Gideon is a smug, evil, controlling creep for sure, and he is the final evil ex Scott must face. But the thing is, he kind of doesn’t feel any more wieighty than any of the others? Gideon is for all intents and purposes the final boss, and while he does get a little buildup, it all comes in the final acts of the film. It certainly doesn’t make him a bad villain – he actually manages to temporarily kill Scott, and puts up more of a fight than any of the others – but considering how awesome Todd, Lucas, Roxy, and Matthew were in style and personality, Gideon kind of comes off as underwhelming. Yes, he is definitely the most evil of the exes, but he just doesn’t really have the “WOW” factor the others do. He’s an 8/10 for sure.

Well, I guess that’s it, that’s every villain in the mo-

Wait?

What’s this?!

Psycho Analysis: Nega Scott

…

youtube

#Psycho Analysis #Scott Pilgrim #Scott Pilgrim vs. the World #The League of Evil Exes #Matthew Patel #Lucas Lee #Todd Ingram #Roxy Richter #Katayanagi Twins #Gideon Gordon Graves #Chris Evans #Mae Whitman #Brandon Routh #jason schwartzman

52 notes · View notes

mrsreinhart · 5 years

Text

The Women of “Hustlers” on Making “A Female ‘Goodfellas’”

Constance Wu, Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart discuss playing exotic dancers and getting rid of the “chick flick” label

Lorene Scafaria’s Hustlers fictionalizes the true story of a group of exotic dancers who lured wealthy Wall Street men into unknowingly spending hundreds of thousands of dollars at their strip club. The film, based on journalist Jessica Pressler’s 2015 investigative New York magazine piece, “The Hustlers at Scores,” stars Constance Wu as Destiny, a new dancer struggling to pay rent for the apartment where she cares for her grandmother—until she meets Ramona, played by Jennifer Lopez. Ramona is a single mom and the most successful dancer at the club—but this changes with the market crash of 2008. When the recession hits, Ramona enlists fellow down-and-out dancers Destiny, Mercedes (Keke Palmer) and Annabelle (Lili Reinhart) to help her swindle men into spending big on a night out, with the men forgetting most of the previous night’s transactions come morning because their drinks were laced with ketamine and MDMA. The film’s cast is rounded out by Cardi B, Lizzo and Julia Stiles, who plays a reporter modeled after Pressler.

While some opening weekend attendees might be in it for the salaciousness that a “stripper movie” promises (it certainly does deliver on that front), the heart of Hustlers isn’t so different from any other gang film. The women at the center of the film are bound together by the need for something greater than what they had to begin with, and the wish to make their dreams for themselves and their families a reality by any means necessary. WSJ. spoke with Wu, Palmer and Reinhart at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills to talk about working on their own version of Goodfellas, and what men really want from movies.

Hollywood depictions of sex workers don’t generally give women much agency. Was it important to you that Hustlers empowered them?

Keke Palmer: I liked that it was balanced because it either goes one of two ways. Either it’s like super, super sad, sad, sad or overly glamorized. When I read this, I felt like it was a balance of both. You had those moments where you thought it might be glamorous and you had those moments like, “Damn, this sh*t is tough.” And so whenever I’m looking at a character or a movie—no matter what the job, no matter who these people are—I want to see balance. This movie gave me that.

Constance Wu: Usually we see one archetype of a woman who is a sex worker or a stripper. And yes, we have racial diversity, but we had diversity in so many other ways—the way you look, the backgrounds of these women and also the different ways that they decided to pursue this job, to make their ends meet.

Lili Reinhart: We all came from such different backgrounds and we all ended up in the same job. So it’s not just this archetype —“Oh, trashy girl from a broken home ends up being a stripper.” That’s such a stereotype. That’s not the case. Women are supporting their children, or supporting themselves or their families, or their families kicked them out. I think strippers will hopefully enjoy our film.

CW: I hope so. Because we tried to humanize them as people. Other movies don’t—they try to portray them as objects or people to move the plot along for the story. We treated all of our characters like humans who have a similar job. That’s only one part of you, your job.

How did the all-female ensemble cast change the vibe on set?

CW: I think it was really freeing. Because it’s different if there’s only one spot for a woman. And then you think, “Oh no—what if I get kicked off?” But when it’s all women, I didn’t have to try to be sexy for guys. I didn’t have to try to pretend like, “Oh I’m one of the guys, I’m cool.” I just got to be myself. And [Jennifer Lopez] set the tone for that pretty well, too, because she’s just so cool.

LR: I’m so happy that this is a movie about women told by a woman, because nothing disturbs me more than a woman’s story told by a man, because it’s through the filter of a man. And so the fact that this was a women’s story told, written and seen through the lens of a woman was powerful.

KP: One of the first things that [Constance] said was, “It’s like a female Goodfellas,” and I’m like “damn right!” Lorene was really serious with the DP on getting those specific shots, those specific angles that you only see men have. It was just like, “Man, girl, thank you for those details. Not only does the script have heart and soul, but visually you’re going for this, you’re giving us a cinematic look. You’re making these women look cool!” That was all specific to show us in powerful positions.

LR: Not even sexy, but powerful. It’s not a slow-motion strut starting from the heels going up, showing the body. It’s the women themselves.

KP: It’s how they would usually do the Wall Street guys. It’s power.

CW: Like sometimes people say “Oh, it’s a woman’s film,” they’ll think that it’s less-than. But I think Lorene did a really good job of choosing a crew who treated the film with the respect of something they were really passionate about, not as like—

KP: “Girl movie.”

CW: Yeah, I mean there’s that term that people like to say: “Chick flick.” And I’m like, “Oh, does that mean every other movie in the world is a d*ck flick?” But that’s just a word used—chick flick—to demean a movie that is about women, and then d*ck flicks are just “flicks.”

LR: Just movies in general.

How is a story where you’re playing out, essentially, a love story with another woman different from one with a man?

KP: It hurt my feelings more when all that stuff went down with Constance’s character and Jennifer’s character.

LR: It’s more devastating.

KP: Way more devastating. I feel like people aren’t going to be pleasantly surprised to see the depth and dynamic of these characters and [that] this story is not just something eye-catching for you like, “Stripping! Fun!” It’s like, “Oh wow, these characters, I care about them. I care about this story.”

CW: It almost hurts more than a romantic thing because it almost feels more pure of a love, because there’s not the transaction of sex. The feeling of being forgiven—it’s a good feeling because it’s accepting that we all mess up, and that we’re still people who are worthy of love. And Jen—I couldn’t have done any of this without [her]. That was really just a two-way street; just the fact that she was so open and caring.

Was there anything challenging for you to do in the film?

KP: I think every girl secretly in their mind is ready to get on stage and see if they’ve got what it takes. I think most people would expect [dancing] to be the most challenging. But I think even the shyest person, if they had the opportunity to play a role like this or be in a situation like this—it’s like “Hell, if I’m going to do it somewhere, I might as well do it in a huge film.” I think those parts were exciting. It could be seen as challenging, but what I was excited about was to sit in this sexy place that I’ve never really sat in before. I don’t really think of myself as a sexy type of chick. And so it was cool to play with what that would look like for the camera.

LR: I feel like deep inside, every woman feels the need to get on a pole at least once. I think you grow up and you’re like “Oh, that’s what sexy is.” And you just want to try it. And truly, [to Constance] I’m sure you took probably more pole dancing lessons than I did, but it was just fun. And you’re like, “Damn, I look good!”

CW: I was just thinking when you said like every woman wants to get on the pole—at first I was like, “No, I don’t think so.” But then I was like thinking about it, and why that might be true. And if you think about it, these women are owning their sexuality, which is something we are shamed for, starting at puberty, we’re supposed to make ourselves—you either have to be the Madonna or the whore, and you can’t win either way. You’re not sexy enough; you’re too sexy. And I think when you’re on a stage and you’re dancing and you’re just owning your sexiness in the way that you want to do it, I think that is a thing that inside probably every woman—person—wants to do.

Do you think anyone who goes to see the film solely for the “stripper movie!” factor will be disappointed?

KP: Look, Jennifer gave you the show that you’re looking for right in the beginning. She gives you what we never thought we’d see. She gave us the most spectacular performance that I have ever seen a stripper do. I’ve gone to a lot of strip clubs.

CW: Me too. And I’m going to say something real cheesy right now, but I do believe it’s true: People might say they’re looking for t*ts, but I think they’re looking for heart. And they’re just saying tits because it’s a less vulnerable thing to need, to say. It’s cooler and more macho to objectify women. But at the end of the day, all humans want—

LR: They relate to stories about love.

CW: —is connection.

KP: Without a doubt. Every guy that I’ve watched The Notebook with has loved it.

#lili reinhart #keke palmer #constance wu #hustlers #hustlers movie #wall streeet journal

179 notes · View notes

gellavonhamster · 5 years

Text

six inch heels

teen and up audiences (?) || Bertrand Baudelaire/Beatrice Baudelaire/Lemony Snicket || pre-canon, inappropriate use of the secretary disguise

ao3 link || originally posted in Russian

When he enters the room, the ball is already in full swing: the band is playing jazz, the dancing couples are sweeping past him, and some of the guests have already lost or taken off their masks and are dancing without them. Some ladies, as Bertrand manages to notice, have also kicked off their shoes. Perfect: so it won’t matter if he takes off his shoes too at some point. The fact that almost all women’s outfits included in the traditional disguise kit come complete with stiletto shoes is blatant injustice: naturally, the rasps and lock picks hidden in the heels could come in handy, but it is difficult to walk in such shoes for want of habit, not to mention dance in them.

Some guests, especially those that are older, look askance at him. No wonder: it is the unwritten rule that attending a masked ball in a standard VFD disguise, not bothering to come up with a new and original one, is considered bad form. Many of these people must have had to squeeze into the very same tube skirt, button up the very same tight blouse, and masquerade as a secretary at one institution or another to spy on the customers or sneakily make copies of the secret documents signed by the employer. Some of them, on the other hand, look at him without disapproval – if anything, they seem interested. Recognition could be read on the faces of two or three of them, which is suspicious, because Bertrand doesn’t recognize them himself. He notices Ramona’s mother, the Duchess of Winnipeg, who glances over him absentmindedly without interrupting her conversation with some elderly bearded man and does not recognize him, and Captain Widdershins, who does not recognize him either and ogles his legs unabashedly. Beatrice is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Lemony.

“I beg your pardon, signorina,” somebody says playfully right by his ear, and somebody’s hand wraps around his waist quickly. “Am I wrong to assume you’re bored?”

“Just taking a look around, really. Hello, Monty,” Bertrand gives his friend the once-over, from the bottom of his toga to the flowers in his hair and the horns on his head. “Is that papier-mâché?”

“What, the horns? Ah, yes. Didn’t have enough time to grow my own, you know. Have you been here long?”

“I’ve just arrived. Unforeseen circumstances,” Bertrand decides not to go into details. It is not him who these circumstances concern first and foremost, but Kit, and it is not up to him to decide who to inform and who not to inform about them. “See, there wasn’t even enough time for me to prepare the right costume.”

“Now, you surely shouldn’t worry about that. You look…” Monty pulls away demonstratively to take a better look at his outfit. “Jaw-dropping.”

“Still, you recognized me at once,” Bertrand reminds him. In truth, he doesn’t really care what other guests would think about his costume, but arguing with Monty, especially jokingly, is always fun. “And the point of the masked ball is not to know who’s hiding behind the mask.”

“My friend, dare I remind you that we used to share an apartment for… how many years? Five, six? In any case, you can’t fool me. Oh, and here comes Beatrice.”

The first thing Bertrand notices is the bat – a stuffed one, crowning the coiffure. Then Beatrice emerges from the crowd next to them, lifting up her long skirt a little. Then she, all black velvet and silver glitter and gleams of light in her hair, shifts her gaze from Monty to him, her eyes fly open in amazement, and her lips even part a little.

It is hard to throw Beatrice Baudelaire for a loop, and it’s even harder to fluster her, but she is blushing now – a rare sight, a rare and astonishing one indeed.

And a very, very attractive one, but that goes without saying.

“Look whom I’ve found, principessa,” Monty says, satisfied. “You were looking for your gentleman all over the mansion while you should have been looking for a fair lady.”

Beatrice nods, still looking at Bertrand, spellbound.

“Monty,” she finally says. “You’re a treasure. Bertrand, what is this?”

“The secretary disguise from the disguise kit, obviously. You must have the same.”

“I know it’s the secretary disguise,” she comes closer and looks up at him. The stilettos add some five inches to her height – it’s only that Bertrand is also wearing heels tonight. “What I’m asking is,” she continues, sounding exuberant and tormented at the same time, “what is this pornography? How did they let you in here? Did they think you’re here to jump out of a cake? Monty, has R mentioned by any chance if anyone will be jumping out of a cake tonight?”

“Guess I’ll go and ask,” Monty winks at her and disappears among the dancers.

Beatrice grabs Bertrand by the hand and draws him aside.

“Let me have another look at you,” she says with zest.

“Just don’t push me, I’m in heels.”

“Oh trust me, I can see that you’re in heels. Is that my lipstick? Did you take my lipstick?”

“Well, sorry for that,” Bertrand knows she isn’t really mad at all so he doesn’t even try to put on a serious face. “Didn’t have any time to buy my own.”

Beatrice narrows her eyes.

“Any other things of mine that you’ve borrowed, you pervert?”

“Nothing.”

“But you have to admit you’re wearing ladies’ underthings.”

“I’m not.”

“Are you trying to tell me you managed to pull this skirt over men’s underpants?”

“I didn’t.”

Beatrice’s eyebrows shoot up, and despite the music being loud, Bertrand can swear he just heard her gasp.

“Just don’t yell about it for the whole mansion to hear,” he says quickly.

Beatrice takes a step back.

“I need Lemony,” she says resolutely. “I’m not going to bear this burden alone. Let him suffer too. Lemony! Hey, Lemony!”

Snicket appears as if by magic – you’d think he’s enchanted, destined to follow Beatrice eternally whenever and wherever she’d call for him. He casts a glance at Bertrand from under his wide-brimmed cavalier hat – and freezes, understanding who’s in front of him. In contrast to Beatrice Baudelaire, under certain circumstances Lemony Snicket blushes easily and quite often; Bertrand has already had the pleasure to witness it more than once, and every time he thinks he’d never be tired of watching it happen.

“Mister Snicket,” Beatrice drawls out, her voice sugary sweet, “Let me introduce you to our associate Miss Markson.”

Lemony stares at him silently, and then suddenly holds out his hand.

“Pleased to meet you,” he says chokingly, and brings Bertrand’s hand to his lips.

Perhaps blushing is contagious, because now Bertrand feels that his own cheeks are burning.

Beatrice waits until Lemony is done kissing Bertrand’s hand – the kiss lasts a little longer than prescribed by etiquette – and wraps her arm around Lemony’s shoulder, pulls him close, and whispers something into his ear. Bertrand can’t hear it but he can imagine what she’s saying, and the amalgam of embarrassment and desire he sees is Snicket’s eyes looks good on him.

“Bertrand,” Lemony says, in the same choked voice, “Is my sister here?”

“Yes.”

“I take it that your trip went well?”

“For the most part.”

“I have to find her later. Right. Later,” Lemony fumbles with the top button of his shirt as if he wants to undo it but doesn’t dare to, or as if he simply doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Something pops loudly nearby, and the three of them give a start at once and turn around, but it’s just the waiter opening a bottle of champagne.

“I think we should show Miss Markson the winter garden of the Duchess of Winnipeg,” Beatrice proposes with a dazzling smile. “It is splendid, and likely to be less crowded than it is in here. It is even possible there’s nobody there at all.”

“A great idea,” Lemony agrees. “If Miss Markson is up for it, of course.”

Whether “Miss Markson” is up for it, Bertrand muses, is obviously the wrong question. The right question would have been the following: “Would the Duchess of Winnipeg mind if her daughter’s friends used her winter garden for their own purposes, which are not wicked but not innocent either?” Still, the opportunity to ask her does not present itself, and even if they had such an opportunity, none of them, understandably, would use it.

“I’d love to take a look at the winter garden,” he says.

Lemony Snicket leaves the ballroom arm in arm with two ladies.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #bertrand baudelaire #beatrice baudelaire #lemony snicket #uncle monty #lemonberry ice #gella talks snicketverse #my fic #snicketverse #remember how they mentioned on the show that bertrand had worn the secretary disguise? yeah #this is 100% silly. no deep ideas whatsoever sorry for that

12 notes · View notes

chicagoindiecritics · 4 years

Text

New from A Reel of One’s Own by Andrea Thompson: Top Films Of 2019

By Andrea Thompson

I state that my list wasn’t too late, 2020 came too early. So here are my top 25 movies of 2019.

25. Avengers: Endgame

Walt Disney Studios

Fan service doesn’t have to be a bad thing. While “Avengers: Endgame” mostly gave fans what they wanted, it was also a fond farewell to an MCU that had been building for over a decade, one that would be greatly altered by the movie’s end. Making good use of its three hour runtime, “Endgame” takes it time wandering through its own universe in a way that’s both heartfelt and entertaining before getting the gang together in an absolutely jaw-dropping, action-packed climax that had the most jaded moviegoers cheering.

24. Knives Out

Lionsgate

Rian Johnson may have had a complicated year, but “Knives Out” has him on top of his game. Johnson has built a career around toying with audience expectations in the most enjoyable way possible, and he does so yet again in “Knives Out,” giving us a whodunit that seems to reveal who in fact dun it pretty early, only to provide even more layers to peel back. After wealthy patriarch Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) dies in an apparent suicide, gentleman detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is hired to investigate, only to discover some very combative family dynamics, with caregiver and audience surrogate Marta (Ana de Armas) caught in the middle. Anchored by an all-star cast that also includes Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, LaKeith Stanfield, Toni Collette, and Chris Evans, Johnson keeps the mystery and the fun coming from start to finish.

23. Monos

IMDB

Just when you think the eight isolated teenage soldiers in “Monos” are treating the unnamed war they’re fighting in like a neverending slumber party, tragedy strikes, and they become very aware of what the consequences of failure are, and the life or death stakes they’re involved in. As they descend from their remote base in the mountains to the jungles below, their bond is torn and transformed into something far darker, as the beauty of their natural surroundings likewise becomes less of a contrast and more of a complement to humanity’s brutality. Moisés Arias is a standout as the group’s charismatic leader, who likewise leads his charges (and peers) into their own increasingly insular culture, as the bonds of adolescence enable them to surrender more and more of their humanity.

22. Toy Story 4

Walt Disney Studios

“Toy Story 4” certainly had no business being good. It was another sequel in a franchise that seemed to wrap everything up neatly in the last film, not only giving Woody (Tom Hanks) and his pals a happy ending, but reassurance that life would go on after their beloved Andy grew up and grew beyond them. So what else was left to stir any kind of conflict interesting enough to prevent one of the most creative and commercially successful film series ever made from devolving into one of the most cynical cash grabs of all time? Thankfully, quite a bit, and it mostly amounts to a case of white male anxiety. Woody had always been sure of his purpose, but when he runs into Bo Peep (Annie Potts), he’s inspired to rethink his life, as his former love has transformed from the demure, delicate toy who stayed behind on adventures to a capable leader who’s embraced life without a child, assists other discarded toys, and plans to see more of the world. It all amounts to a progressive message, that of being who you are right now. Life may change, and your place in it can become frighteningly precarious, but you should never be defined by your past, whether it was scarred by tragedy, or was the source of your happiest moments. Throughout it all, friendships, family, and love can last. To infinity and beyond.

21. Hustlers

STX Films

“Hustlers” is one of those films that could’ve just been a puritanical cautionary tale about the dangers of girls gone wild. Good thing writer-director Lorene Scafaria saves her anger for the patriarchy rather than the strippers who come up with a plan to turn the tables on their Wall Street clients after the recession hits. Even smarter, Scafaria anchors her story in the friendship between Ramona (Jennifer Lopez in a career-best performance), the originator of the scheme, and Destiny (Constance Wu). Before 2008, they and their co-workers are able to earn more than a good living, but after the financial crisis, their profession becomes less than viable. So they decide to drug wealthy Wall Street men and get them to spend ridiculous amounts of money, which they would then keep for themselves. By giving women who are normally sexualized furniture center stage, Scafaria allows us to share their delight in scamming the scammers, then their fear as their world inevitably unravels, resulting in an insightful, female-centric crime story that mostly unfolds sans judgment.

20. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

A24

Gentrification has been given the movie treatment before, but “The Last Black Man in San Francisco” doesn’t just show the scope of its horrors, it makes you feel them. In this world, it’s perfectly feasible for a little girl to happily skip down the street while men in hazard suits are cleaning up the water, as long as she resides in a neighborhood the rest of San Francisco is determined to leave behind in its mad rush for profit. Jimmie Fails (co-writer Jimmie Fails, who plays a fictionalized version of himself) has one thing to cling to though: a beautiful house in the heart of the city, which was built by his grandfather after he returned home from WWII, and is now occupied by an older white couple. When the couple departs, Jimmie and his friend Mont (Jonathan Majors) decide to move in as squatters in a desperate attempt to reclaim it. A tribute to a city that provokes love and despair in equal measure, “The Last Black Man” is a devastating indictment of an America that claims to reward hard work, yet often condemns those who are born with the most odds to overcome.

19. Ready Or Not

In-laws can be tough, but the clan in “Ready or Not” could probably teach the Lannisters a thing or two. Having grown up in foster care, Grace (Samara Weaving) is eager to bond with her new family, so she happily participates in their tradition of choosing a random game to play on her wedding night. But when she draws the card “Hide and Seek,” she discovers that her new relatives believe that if they are unable to find her and kill her before the night is over, they will lose their vast family fortune. In addition to making the honeymoon awkward, Grace must fight to stay alive in an environment where everyone now regards her as disposable, an acceptable sacrifice to keep the money flowing in. As wickedly funny as it is violently entertaining, “Ready or Not” is a surprisingly heartfelt tribute to humanism and the benefits of being an outsider…especially when insiders have murder on their minds.

18. 1917

IMDB

Sam Mendes has a reputation for intensity, but his harrowing war drama “1917” brings more suspense and terror than most horror movies. During WWI, two young British soldiers are given a seemingly impossible mission of going behind enemy lines to deliver a message. If they make it through, they’ll not only prevent a disastrous attack, but save quite a few lives, including the brother of one of the soldiers. Shot to give the effect of one continuous take, Mendes turns what might have been a gimmick and uses it to capture the horrors of war, and the humanity that often emerges in spite of it, all in a technically masterful work that showcases a filmmaker at the height of his storytelling abilities.

17. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Sony Pictures

Given that 2018 saw the release of the critically and commercially successful documentary “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?,” did 2019 really need another film about Fred Rogers? Hold that thought, because “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” makes an enthusiastic case for yes. It’s probably no coincidence that the posters for both films also mention kindness, since Fred Rogers not only advocated it, he seemed to embody it, and not only to the children who were the target audience of his wildly successful show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” Even if Tom Hanks doesn’t have much of a resemblance to Mr. Rogers, he nevertheless seems to channel him and the values he tirelessly championed to an uncanny degree, enough to make journalist Lloyd Vogel’s (Matthew Rhys) journey from cynic to believer feel fresh rather than tired. Director Marielle Heller also brings the same clear-eyed compassion that made “The Diary of a Teenage Girl” and “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” so heartfelt to this story of a budding friendship between two very different men.

16. Her Smell

Elisabeth Moss has long since proven she’s a force of nature, more recently on the Hulu series “The Handmaid’s Tale.” So what more does she have to prove with the film “Her Smell?” Quite a lot it turns out. If “The Handmaid’s Tale” is a showcase for Moss’s powers of restrained passion, then “Her Smell” allows her to tear up the screen like a tornado, destroying all the mere mortals unfortunate enough to become swept into her path as the self-destructive punk rocker Becky Something. As Becky’s mood shifts with the rapidity of a deranged pinball, she can’t seem to latch on to anything resembling stability, despite the efforts of her bandmates, collaborators, and ex-husband to steer her towards a healthier direction. Or just anywhere other than the rock bottom she seems determined to hit with full force. If Becky’s downward spiral is difficult to watch, it’s even harder to look away, as Moss infuses her with a charismatic talent that makes the inescapable tragedy feel Shakespearean in scope.

15. Varda By Agnes

If the documentary “Varda By Agnès” is difficult to define, it’s because the late great filmmaker Agnès Varda herself defies anything resembling easy categorization. Like her other films, the premise of “Varda By Agnès” is deceptively simple, yet soon reveals layers of complexity which unfold throughout, as Varda looks back on her life and career while articulating her style of filmmaking. However, the doc is far more than a retrospective, and far less predictable, at one moment reminiscent of a casual chat with an old friend, the next an imaginative journey wherein a great artist instructs devoted cinephiles and neophytes alike on how she not only viewed, but interpreted the world. It’s a fitting end to a decades-long career and life, both of which 90-year-old Varda defined on her own terms to the end.

14. The Farewell

IMDB

A movie with a character who happens to be a terminally ill grandmother is a tough sell for a comedy. But the matriarch who receives a fatal cancer diagnosis isn’t just a side character in “The Farewell,” she’s the central plot point. After struggling New Yorker Billi’s (Awkwafina) beloved Nai Nai (Shuzhen Zhao) is diagnosed, her family opt to keep her illness a secret and decide to throw a fake wedding to provide an excuse for them all to gather in China and celebrate Nai Nai one last time. And it’s…pretty funny, with not just the expected dark humor, but a wide spectrum of hilarity abounding alongside the touching moments of grief. Based in part on writer-director Lulu Wang’s own experiences, “The Farewell” is apt to make you laugh and cry not just in equal measure, but simultaneously.

13. Little Woods

IMDB

You can never have too much of Tessa Thompson, and “Little Woods” allows her to fully immerse herself into a role and world where a single wrong step could tear through a life with the force of a tornado. And she downright mesmerizes as Ollie, who finds herself in tight circumstances with a mere eight days left on her probation and the hope of a new life. Or rather, her somewhat estranged sister Deb (Lily James) does after their mother dies, and Deb and her son find themselves on the verge of homelessness and destitution. To help her family, Ollie decides to reenter the world of prescription drug smuggling, a dangerous but profitable business in their bleak rural North Dakota town. Remarkably, this is director Nia DaCosta’s feature debut, and the fact that she gives us a brilliantly realized modern Western with a feminist twist, where a drug run to Canada also doubles as an attempt to receive a safe and low-cost abortion, is hopefully indicative of much more to come. Thankfully, there are already hopeful signs of just that.

12. Dolemite is my Name

IMDB

Just when you think Eddie Murphy might be teetering on the edge of irrelevance, he reminds you why he’s a pop culture phenomenon by tearing up the screen as Blaxploitation legend Rudy Ray Moore, who became famous in the 70s for his portrayal of alter ego Dolemite in his film and stand-up career. Even if we’re aware of how this is going to end, with Moore investing – and risking – everything he’s built to make a film based on his Dolemite character, Murphy is astounding, radiating joy as he brings his larger-than-life energy and charisma to Moore, who was similarly magnetic. And it’s not just Moore, but the people he’s gathered around him who succeed as well, many of whom were just as underused by the mainstream entertainment industry. As they all revel in building and profiting off a film made on their own terms, it’s the kind of tender, inspirational tribute that earns every bit of its charm and intensity.

11. Queen & Slim

Universal Pictures

“Queen & Slim” kicks off with its title characters on a date that is only remarkable for its lack of spark, but things get heated in the worst way after a police offer pulls them over for a minor issue, and things escalate, with Queen (Jodie Turner-Smith) getting shot and Slim (Daniel Kaluuya) shooting the officer in self defense. The two then go on the run together, with their bond and their relationship blossoming as they drive south through a lush vision of Black Americana. That they both come off as deeply human while remaining symbolic of the tragic human cost of racism seems due in large part to the near symbiotic creative melding of director Melina Matsoukas, who also directed Beyonce’s “Lemonade,” and writer Lena Waithe, the creator of the series “The Chi” and who also wrote the acclaimed “Master of None” episode “Thanksgiving.” Their story is tragic, but it is also full of beauty and humor as Queen and Slim dare to hope for something better, even as they know the odds against such a thing are overwhelmingly stacked against them.

10. Fast Color

Lionsgate

It’s said that not all heroes wear capes, and certainly none of the women with superhuman abilities do in “Fast Color.” This criminally underseen gem has many of the beats, but almost none of the familiar tropes of typical superhero fare. Gugu Mbatha-Raw plays a woman named Ruth, a fugitive on the run from authorities attempting to harness her abilities, and most critically, from herself, since those abilities have become a destructive force she’s unable to control. In this bleak dystopian future which is rapidly running low on resources, the key to Ruth’s future may just lie in the home she fled years ago, where her estranged mother (Lorraine Toussaint) and daughter (Saniyya Sidney) embody a past she tried to escape, and a more hopeful future they may be able to bring to fruition.

9. The Souvenir

IMDB

Joanna Hogg’s semi-autographical film “The Souvenir” is like a deceptively calm pond which conceals a raging torrent just beneath the surface. Honor Swinton Byrne, the woman responsible for the storm that’s eventually unleashed, may still be constantly referred to as Tilda Swinton’s daughter, but this film suggests that won’t be the case for long. Her performance as Julie, a young film student in the 80s whose dreams are nearly derailed by her involvement with an older man who is also a heroin addict, is the kind of on-screen arrival that the term breakout role was made for. With part two arriving next year, it’s hard to imagine how Hogg or Byrne will match the kind of urgency they brought to this film, but this creative pairing – which feels like a match made in cinematic heaven – could feasibly pull it off.

8. One Child Nation

One Child Nation

Director Nanfu Wang grew up in a time when China’s infamous one-child policy was at its height, with every facet of society extolling the virtues of having a smaller family��and the consequences of disobedience. After Wang had a son, she decided to investigate the policy she’d never given much thought to and its impact. When she uncovered was a complex and horrific hidden history of forced abortions, child abandonment, and infants who were literally torn from their arms of their families and given to American couples for adoption, who were tragically unaware that they were abetting kidnapping. Wang fearlessly confronts her own complicity and that of her family and community as she delves into the past, and how China is attempting to erase it from its future.

7. Uncut Gems

A24

If we’re our own worst enemies, then Adam Sandler’s New York City jeweler Howard Ratner will never have a worse one. A gambling addict who’s always in search of that next big score, his need for his drug of choice has wreaked havoc on his personal and professional life. He’s managed to get his hands on the titular gem that may finally change his luck…if he can somehow hold off on his on self-sabotaging impulses. Anchored by not only a career-best performance by Sandler, but a breakout one by Julia Fox as Howard’s mistress, the Safdie brothers immerse us into Howard’s world, then his mindset as he unravels, all the while clinging to the belief in that one big break that could still change everything.

6. Bedlam

Sundance Institute

In exploring the history of mental illness in America, director Kenneth Paul Rosenberg explores his own family, and how they reacted to his sister’s mental health struggles, then expands his scope into the personal and political ramifications of how we decide to treat a hidden social crisis of our time, one that is steadily worsening. As he travels to jails, Ers, and homeless camps, Rosenberg grounds his documentary with subjects who permit him a staggering amount of access to the highs and lows of their journeys to stability, and more often, how ill-equipped the system is to assist them. It will leave you emotionally gutted, but also with a much-needed greater understanding of a large population who are in desperate need of both compassion and assistance.

5. Luce

IMDB

No one escapes unscathed in “Luce,” including us, as director Julius Onah slowly but surely tightens his grip on our collective throats, forcing us to realize how even the most privileged among us are caught up in a system that ultimately demeans us all, with little doubt as to just who bears the brunt of the consequences. The titular Luce (Kelvin Harrison Jr.) first seems to have it all and more. Adopted as a child from war-torn African county by suburban white couple Amy (Naomi Watts) and Peter (Tim Roth), Luce is a star athlete, a top student, and popular with students and teachers alike. It’s only when his teacher Harriet (Octavia Spencer) alerts his parents to a potentially disturbing essay by Luce that the cracks in the facade start to show, and Amy realizes just how little she may know the son she’s loved and raised, and perhaps also tokenized. Harrison’s masterful performance is equal parts chilling and heartbreaking as a young man who may be capable of great and terrible things. Just what will Luce become? The film has no answer.

4. Little Women

Sony Pictures

Greta Gerwig didn’t just write and direct Louisa May Alcott’s beloved 1868 novel, she brought it to life, with each of the four March sisters getting their due. Yes, even Amy. One of the most brilliant decisions Gerwig makes is to bring the book to the big screen in a nonlinear fashion, juxtaposing scenes from the sisters’ idyllic childhood with their darker adulthood. While the Civil War rages, depriving them of their father, the March family becomes a matriarchal worldutopia, wherein Meg (Emma Watson), Jo (Saoirse Ronan), Beth (Eliza Scanlen), and Amy (Florence Pugh) are free to explore their hopes and ambitions, guided by their beloved Marmee (Laura Dern), and befriended by their wealthy neighbor Laurie (Timothée Chalamet). As each sister struggles to find her way, Gerwig takes care to ensure that their lives not only feel familiar, but relevant as each wrestles with how to balance their dreams with the narrow expectations imposed on them.

3. Atlantics

IMDB

Mati Diop made history in more ways than one with her feature debut “Atlantics.” She was the first black woman to have a film in the main competition at Cannes, where “Atlantics” won the Grand Prix. The film more than lives up to the hype, with a touching love story that is also part supernatural fable and devastating indictment of modern exploitation and rampant poverty. Ada (Mama Bineta Sane) lives in a Senegalese suburb, and is promised to a wealthy man. But she is in love with Souleiman (Traore), a construction worker on a futuristic tower which is due to open soon. Souleiman and his co-workers haven’t been paid for their labor in months, so they decide to take their chances and depart by sea in search of something better. As Ada waits for news of him as she prepares to marry, she gradually learns that the spirits of Souleiman and the other young men are possessing the bodies of the living and demanding justice. As Ada slowly comes to accept the truth and take control of her own life and body (she’s forced to take a virginity test), Diop infuses her story with a beauty that never belies its sense of urgency for compassion in a world that can often seem short on it.

2. Parasite

IMDB

The word parasite conjures up images of a creature which takes from a victimized host without a thought of giving or the consequences thereof, but as Bong Joon-ho’s latest slice of brilliance unfolds, it’s unclear just whom is feeding on whom. But in the vicious capitalistic times we’ve arrived in, perhaps everyone is feeding on everyone, whether they know it or not. In the story of the impoverished Kim family, who manage to scam their way into various positions of employment with the wealthy Park family, Bong Joon-ho serves up a scathing indictment of the inequality which twists haves and have-nots alike. As one jaw-dropping development after another threatens to deprive the Kims of their newfound prosperity, both families suffer the horrific consequences. And even if you are able to free yourself from the dark obsession inherent in wanting a good life which remains tantalizingly out of reach, the vicious cycle, one borne out of a need that will never be quenched, continues.

1. Portrait of a Lady on Fire

IMDB

If Céline Sciamma had just wrote and directed a romance between two women who find the kind of love that leaves the screen burning from their mutual passion, “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” would still have been one of the best films of the year. But Sciamma does so much more, making the case for an entire history that has mostly been unacknowledged by the art world. Not just of the female artists who managed to create in spite of the obstacles, but the lives of women in general, who are often not considered worthwhile subjects. (Times have sure changed, huh?) “Portrait” may take place in 18th century France, but its insights into the dynamics between artist and muse, how art is created, and how those who are silenced manage to find a voice, feels very much needed in our present moment.

from A Reel Of One’s Own https://ift.tt/2RcXbMK via IFTTT

from WordPress https://ift.tt/35SBg2A via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress #CIFCC #film critics #movies #film #Chicago

1 note · View note

suckitsurveys · 7 years

Text

Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? Yes, we have 4, though one is technically a “cube” storage organizer.

If you answered yes to the above, are your books ordered in a special way? The one bookshelf next to Mark’s desk has books that are arranged by height. It also has games and art supplies. The two that are on either side of the TV house my DVDs. One side is shows in alphabetical order, the other side is movies in alphabetical order. Both bookcases also have my panda collection on them, and pictures on the tops. The storage cube organizer has a buncha stuff in it.

Have you ever owned action figures? Yeah.

Why did you last smile? A coworker said something funny.

Do you have a close relationship with your immediate family? My dad.

If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Buy food.

If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? Nah.

Do you crack your knuckles, neck or toes constantly? Yes to all of those.

Are you constantly catching colds or other sicknesses? Not constantly, no.

Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Of course.

Have you ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show? I used to belong to a shadow cast in Chicago. That’s where people act it out while the movie is playing, and you yell and throw things at certain parts of the movie.

Where do you do most of your shopping? Target.

Are you afraid of mice? No.

What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? Shirts or nick-knacks.

Do you vacation often? Nah.

Are you comfortable wearing your pajamas in public places? Sure.

What’s your favorite candy bar? Butterfingers or Kit Kats.

Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? I have two copies of To Kill a Mocking Bird, and two copies of Bossypants by Tina Fey.

If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Rent.

If you could put any person or character’s face on money, whose would it be? Eleven’s.

The place that you’d most like to be right now is where? The Wilderness Indoor Waterpark Resort.

Do large crowds make you anxious? Yeah.

Do you own a helmet of any sorts? No.

Will you willingly sing in front of other people besides your family? No.

What’s in the box? Uh.

Does your family generally decorate for most holidays? Yeah.

Would you take the chance to be Nancy Drew or The Hardy Boys for a day? Sure.

Do you eat soup when you’re sick? Yes.

Is there a specific mug or coffee cup that you have to use all of the time? No.

Have you ever watched Doctor Who? Nope.

If so, what do you think is the scariest creature yet? -

Do you prefer to do your shopping online or in person? Online.

If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? The Ramona Quimby books.

Do you read tour guide type books before you visit places? No.

Would you please belt out a few song lyrics here? IF I COULD TURN BACK TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME. IF I COULD FIND A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

How do you get rid of your hiccups? Gulp water fast and hard.

Is there one saying that you’ve adopted from someone/somewhere else? Oh, I’m sure.

Can you lie effectively and smoothly? I don’t need to do that.

Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? Yes.

Why is your favorite teacher your favorite? I don’t have one anymore.

Who can never fail to make you laugh? Mark.

Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? No.

How many pets have you had in your lifetime? Two birdies, two kitties, two mice, a fish, and a hamster that have all passed, a kitty I had to give up shortly after I brought him home, and a doggo and kitten that are still living. So...11.

Were you ever afraid of monsters under your bed? I never really had an “under the bed” as a kid. I had trundle beds or beds with drawers underneath until I was well into my teens.

Would you kindly recommend your favorite movie to me? The Royal Tenenbaums.

#surveys

1 note · View note

glowstickhaloboy · 7 years

Text

have u ever wanted to read a yuri on ice au for characters u’ve never met

In his quiet room, the pounding of Peter’s heart was like a drum. His breathing was heavy, uneven. He felt like crying, but his body didn’t seem to want to go through with it. In his chest were a jumble of emotions that he was well accustomed to but, even after years and years of them boasting their claim on him, unable to sort through.

He’d competed in the Grand Prix Final last year, but now he was nervous for a domestic block championship? He was pathetic. He didn’t deserve to win tomorrow. He had no idea why Colin was even here.

Colin Dehills. In Peter’s house. Coaching Peter.

Peter could never live up to Colin’s standards, that much was a guarantee. Sooner or later, it would be one failure too many, and Colin would realize what a waste of time this all was. Right now, he was enchanted with the idea of surprising the audience by leaving without really leaving, but that too would wear off soon. Peter didn’t know which he was doing more--dreading it or anticipating it.

It had been an hour since Peter was supposed to be asleep, more than that since he had shut himself in his room and turned off all the lights. He needed to sleep if he wanted to perform well tomorrow, but it was precisely the anxiety at the thought of not falling asleep that was keeping him awake. He tried to shut his eyes and think of nothing, but his mind always routed him back to a failure on the rink, a news article proclaiming disappointment in him.

Eleventh last year. Colin had probably never come eleventh in his life. He was too graceful on the ice, too skilled. A paradigm. In most other matters, he was bumbling and foreign, but the second he put on skates, all eyes were on him. He’d made an audience of war heroes cry while performing at an In Memoriam service six months prior. Watching Colin was like leaving your body behind and being caught on the wind. It was so right. There was no match more perfect than Colin Dehills and figure skating. No one begrudged him his five consecutive Grand Prix wins. It was an honor to watch him win. Really, the only competition was to see who would get the other two spaces on the podium.

And now Peter was habitually watching him eat pork cutlets bowls in pajamas, taking joint baths with him in the hot springs, scolding him for finishing the cereal but putting back the empty box.

How did I get here? Really, how did I get here?

Peter tried twisting in bed, turning the pillow over, but it was no use. He was wide awake and still on the verge of tears with no release discernible on the horizon.

He reached over the side of the bed and retrieved his phone. Maybe he could numb his mind by playing a game until he fell asleep. For a while he sat there, swiping the screen, making little to no progress, only feeling worse. At last, he dropped his phone on the mattress and buried his stinging eyes into his pillow. Maybe he could just not show up tomorrow. If he vomited, Colin wouldn’t blame him for dropping out, surely.

Peter opened his eyes. His blank phone screen cast a light over the places where tape had ripped up his ceiling and wall. He hadn’t been very careful taking all those posters of Colin down. He had even ripped one of them. Now, they hid at the bottom of his locked desk drawer, underneath a photo album of baby pictures and several Dehills brand skating shirts.

…

...What was Colin doing here?

Really. Why had he come? Peter had nothing that screamed promise, no special skills. His quads were a laughingstock. He could count on the fingers of one hand how many times he’d had a flawless performance--and even then, he rarely placed first. Colin Dehills was the kind of skater to take risks, and Peter Saint was very much not.

His phone screen dulled slightly, a warning that it was about to auto-lock. Peter frowned and grabbed it before it could, but he didn’t care about saving his miserable game. He wanted to see how Ramona was doing. She was with her family, visiting relatives in Spain, several hours ahead of him. For the past few days, she had been posting pictures of the sunrise on Instagram. Maybe she would be awake already.

Peter checked, but his feed was dead. He didn’t follow very many people. There were only a few new posts. No Ramona.

…

...What sort of things had Colin been posting recently? Peter had been mostly staying offline in an attempt to avoid seeing his name alongside Colin’s in headlines.

The most recent photo Colin had posted was only 37 minutes ago. He was snuggled in bed, the picture captioned underneath with: turning in before the season officially starts. wish us luck!!! #beautysleep

Peter scrolled past it. He didn’t want to think about all of Colin’s faith in him, a tiny animal exposing its belly to the claws of a vicious beast. Colin’s perceptions of Peter were going to shatter like windows in a storm tomorrow. After that, Peter could say goodbye to his career.

There was no way he could live up to the programs Colin had choreographed for him. He’d already shown his true colors as an underachiever. People weren’t going to believe he could suddenly switch sides now, tap out his lackluster potential for actual talent. Or, if he did, they would accredit all of his success to Colin.

Stop it. That’s enough. Snap out of it.

Peter didn’t know how to stop. He scrolled back up and stared at the picture of Colin, smiling for the camera, giving a thumbs up. He stared at the picture, knowing what he wanted to do but not quite brave enough to commit.

Just do it already. You’ve had enough of being scared tonight.

As if a ghost took over his hand, Peter watched himself exit Instagram and find his messages. He selected his conversation with Colin and tapped out a simple message: Are you awake?

There. At least he had tried. And if Colin was asleep, then that was-

Ding!

Yes! Do you need something?

Of course. Of course Colin was still awake. Why wouldn’t he be? Now Peter had to lie in the bed he’d made. He shut his eyes and pulled up the same daring he used just before he went to perform a jump in competition.

Will you come in here? I can’t stop thinking.

Read 11:13pm.

Peter heard the squeak of Colin’s noisy door down the hall. He sat up in bed, pulled his blanket closer around him. His door opened, and Colin slid inside.

“Peter?” Colin’s voice was quieter than usual because of how late it was. Peter shut off his phone.

“Hi,” Peter said. Colin took this as permission to come inside and scooted the rest of the way in, shutting the door behind him and inviting himself to Peter’s bed. Peter pulled his legs up to make room for him.

Colin asked, “What’s up? Is everything okay? How are you feeling?”

Oddly enough, now that Colin was here, Peter’s mind finally decided to quiet down. It was no secret that he was attracted to Colin--his entire bedroom had been a shrine to the guy since he was a kid. And Colin always seemed excited beyond logic by the idea of sleeping in Peter’s room. Maybe tonight, the last night they would be together, it wasn’t such a bad idea. How many others could say they’d slept in the same bed as Colin Dehills?

“I’m… tired,” Peter admitted, his mouth filter all but dissolved from lack of sleep. Colin had gotten him up at half past five that morning to get to the rink for practice. “Will you stay in here tonight?”

Colin’s entire body stayed exactly the same, faultlessly, but somehow managed to also sharpen around the edges. His eyes were taken over by a manic glint. He brought his fist to his mouth. “Of course,” he whispered, apparently incredibly moved. Peter was too exhausted to question it. Now that his mind had shut up, fatigue was settling in nicely.

Peter scooted over in his tiny bed, trying to give Colin enough room to be comfortable. He had already accepted the fact that there was no way for this to work without them being pressed against each other in some capacity all night. Colin nearly dislocated his shoulder in his attempt to claim his spot in bed.

“What changed your mind?” he asked, unable to hide his excitement. “Do you want to talk?”

Peter shrugged languorously. His pillow was so soft. “In all honesty, it’s probably sleep deprivation,” he said, “but I couldn’t fall asleep before, and now it’s all I want to do, so that must mean we’re doing something right.”

Colin looked quietly ecstatic. So far he was lying parallel to the wall, wary of touching Peter without his permission. Noticing this, Peter said, “You can come closer, you know.”

It was like watching firework after firework light up in Colin’s face. He squirmed under the blankets and wiggled closer. “You know, I’ll have to put my arm around you, I think.”

Peter yawned. “That’s fine.”

His eyes were closed that time, so he didn’t see Colin’s reaction. He sunk farther into the mattress, though, as he felt Colin’s arm close around his middle. Peter’s bed had never been this kind of warm before.

“I don’t know why I get so freaked out,” Peter confessed, words drowning in fatigue. His voice was a little deeper than normal, but also quieter. It hit his ears harder in the dark. His head lolled toward Colin’s chest, seemingly of its own accord. That was okay. It seemed like a nice place to be. “Failure isn’t anything new to me. I rarely win anything. I think I just don’t want you to be wasting your time here.”

Peter rarely talked about himself, and Colin knew it. Getting an insight into Peter’s mind was the most vulnerable way Peter could present himself.

“I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time here,” Colin said, softly but emphatically. “I chose to coach you, Peter. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t want to, and especially not if I didn’t believe you had a really good chance at winning the Final.”

In the middle of the night, Peter could almost believe him.

Peter had no way of replying to that, so instead he said, “I’m sorry for how you’re going to see me tomorrow. And, I guess, how you’re seeing me now. I always get so nervous right before a competition.”

Colin snorted. “It is not a bother, Peter.”

Peter turned so that he was fully cuddled into Colin’s chest. He was falling asleep between every inhale and exhale. “The truth is, I worry that I’ll let you down. I know I will eventually. I’ll be sorry for it, when it happens.”

“Stop it,” Colin tutted. “If you talk that way, you’ll only lose your focus. Is this how you normally behave toward competitions? No wonder you’ve been holding yourself back. At least this is teaching me how to coach you better. You’re hardest on yourself, which means I need to be easier on you and guide you more smoothly. Of course, don’t think ‘going easy’ means I’m going to let you slack. Your quad flip is still appalling, frankly speaking, and during your free skate program you always get sloppy just before the second half. I’m going to be watching for that tomorrow, and if I see you looking tired-”

“I never thought I would have to worry about you watching,” Peter blurted. He could hear Colin’s sporadic heartbeat.

There was a second of confused silence. “I watched you during the Final last year,” Colin pointed out.

There was a second second of confused silence. Peter was dragged a little bit farther out of sleep. “You did?” he asked. “I thought you would have been off--I don’t know--somewhere else. With Antoinette or Roux.”

“I watched you,” Colin said firmly.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re going to watch me tomorrow.”

“Of course I am, Peter. I love to watch you skate. You’re beautiful on the ice.”

In the daylight, that would have made Peter blush and gawk at Colin. Here, it glanced off the shell of exhaustion slowly encompassing Peter. He wanted to take advantage of the moment and fall asleep, but he didn’t want to pass up one of the last real conversations he was likely to have with Colin. After tomorrow, Peter would be spurned from the ice skating world for good.

“Please watch,” Peter found himself saying. “I skate better when I want to impress you.”

Peter felt the room’s atmosphere shift. “Oh, really?” There was a grin audible in the purr of Colin’s voice. “In that case, I’ll be watching closely tomorrow. And I want you to seduce me with all the Eros you’ve got. Are we clear on that?”

Peter nodded. He was seconds away from passing out. He could feel himself floating away, picturing curves cut into the ice and the roar of a stadium filled to bursting. He didn’t want these days to end just yet. “I’ll skate my Eros just for you.”

And then he was out. He didn’t hear Colin say, “Try to keep your promise this time, Peter. I feel like a total idiot for chasing you out here just to be ignored by you all the time. And then we go and have conversations like this, and I totally second-guess myself on everything because of the things you say to me. Oh, you’re asleep. That’s just great. Of course. Well... Goodnight, I guess.”

#PeterAU #dont mind my blathering i am simply obsessed with everything #if u actually read this then kudos to u i guess

2 notes · View notes

newyorktheater · 5 years

Text

“Hercules,” a stage adaptation of the 1997 Disney cartoon, is the latest free, Labor Day weekend spectacle at the Delacorte in Central Park by the Public Theater’s Public Works, which for seven years now has marked the end of summer as surely as Back to School commercials and freshmen roaming around NYU with their hands in their pockets. As in the previous Public Works productions — The Tempest in 2013, The Winters Tale , The Odyssey in 2015, Twelfth Night in 2016 (with an encore in 2018), and As You Like It in 2017 — “Hercules” is like a party, featuring a handful of professional actors and hundreds of delighted performers from “community partners” in all five borough

Jelani Aladdin as Hercules and company

Rema Webb, Tamika Lawrence, Ramona Keller, Brianna Cabrera, and Tieisha Thomas

Hercules 3

Jelani Alladin

Isabelle Romero, Hasaan Bailey, Kelly Campbell, and Roger Bart

James Monroe Iglehart and Jelani Alladin (center) with 10 Hairy Legs (that’s the name of a male dance company!)

Tieisha Thomas, Rema Webb, Krysta Rodriguez, Tamika Lawrence, Ramona Keller, and Brianna Cabrera

Jelani Alladin and company

Members of the puppet corps

Krysta Rodriguez and Jelani Alladin

god Zeus (Michael Roberts) and the mortal Hera (Tar-Shay Margaret Williams) with the baby Hercules (a doll) and members of the godly entourage

Among the participants in the first five Public Works “pageants,” as the people at Public Works like to call them, were 516 “community ensemble members,” 141 choir singers, 26 hip hop dancers, 17 ASL/deaf performers, and one lion puppet. This year’s performers number more than 200, including a 14-member “puppet corps,” handling the giant puppets designed by James Ortiz; the members of Broadway Inspirational Voices; and the Passaic High School Marching Band. Unlike the previous pageants, there is little danger that purists will be offended by the liberties the creative team takes. After all, this is not a musical adaptation of Shakespeare or Homer, although Public Theater artistic director Oskar Eustis does all he can to mask the show’s origins in a relatively low-grossing Disney animation (“Hercules is one of the great characters of the classical tradition,” Eustis writes in a program note, “a hero whose name is as recognizable now as it was 2,500 years ago… Public Works is embarking for a second time on dramatizing a Greek myth….”)

Are there Disney purists? Can they really object to Andrea Hood’s Vegas-quality costumes, sparkling with sequins, or Dane Laffrey’s Times Square-quality set design, complete with towers armed with zippers (which is the official name for those ticker-like signs made out of countless light bulbs) Stacked up against other Disney stage adaptations, this one avoids some of the standard Disney drawbacks – rather than overpriced, it’s free; rather than overlong, it’s only 90 minutes – and keeps what’s best about Disney stage shows, above all, a terrific cast.

Kristoffer Diaz (the playwright best known for The Elaborate Entrance for Chad Deity, and as the former story editor for GLOW) has written a jokey book, some of the jokes mildly risqué, which is unlikely to tarnish nor much enhance the Disney brand. It keeps to the basic plot but adjusts its message for a New York theater audience in 2019.

Jelani Alladin (who portrayed Kristoff in “Frozen”) is a suitably eager and honest young Hercules, born from the god Zeus (Michael Roberts) and the mortal Hera (Tar-Shay Margaret Williams), and snatched as an infant by Pain and Panic, who intend to poison him, on the orders of the evil Hades (Roger Bart, who provided the singing voice for Hercules in the film, and here provides much of the comedy. He enters sneering “Public Theater. I hate parks!”) Pain and Panic (reliably goofy Nelson Chimilio and Jeff Hiller) are unreliable, so Hercules lives, although the poison makes him mortal, and he is found and adopted by a mortal couple. As a young adult, he finally meets his birth parents, but they say a mortal like him can’t go home to Olympus (“Mortals are weak. They are self serving and careless, and they die.”) — unless he becomes a hero. And so he sets out on a journey to prove he can become a hero (singing the Oscar-nominated song “Go The Distance.”) Along the way, he mets Phil, whom a friend describes as “the greatest ‘epic-journey-to-prove-yourself-to-the- gods’ guy in Greece” (portrayed by the always wonderful James Monroe Iglehart, the Tony-winning Genie in “Aladdin.”) Disillusioned, Phil has given that up to sell gyros “(Heroes die. Gyros (“Heroes die. Gyros get eaten.”) — but Hercules persuades him to become his trainer. Together, they search for people to save, villains to vanquish, challenges to overcome, .

Right away, Hercules gets to prove himself when he sees a damsel in distress, in “the grips of a giant, ugly, monster.”

“Hey,” the monster says. “Words hurt.”

But the damsel is Meg (the stellar Krysta Rodriguez), and she doesn’t need or want to be saved. She sings:

What would I do in a world without men I would do as I please Let me say that again I would do as I please Not yearning for my hero at last Forget about it fast

That song, “Forget About It,” is one of five new ones by the original Disney songwriters, composer Alan Menken and lyricist David Zippel, out of 21 musical numbers, most of them soul-tinted with the aid of a Greek chorus that’s a gospel chorus. (Six of the numbers are just different versions of the song “The Gospel Truth.”) The new songs help update the show, both in current references (“The Art of the Deal” makes its way into the lyrics of Hades’ new song, “A Cool Day in Hell”) and in current values. Meg isn’t the only one who doesn’t need a hero. When Hercules, with Phil in tow, marches into Thebes offering his services as a hero, the townspeople want to know: “Can you help me find affordable housing…create some jobs…balance income inequality….improve the integrity of our civil discourse?”

Hercules replies: “Did I mention I was strong?”

If the plot of “Hercules” is familiar, and its happy ending no surprise, there’s real uplift in the message delivered not just in the script but by the presence of the hundreds of diverse New Yorkers on stage — true strength comes from an entire community, and real heroics come from serving it.

Hercules Music by Alan Menken Lyrics by David Zippel Book by Kristoffer Diaz Choreography by Chase Brock Directed by Lear deBessonet Scenic design by Dane Laffrey, costume design by Andrea Hood, lighting design by Tyler Micoleau, sound design by Kai Harada, puppet design by James Ortiz, orchestrations by Danny Troob and Joseph Joubert, music supervisor, arranger and conductor Michael Kosarin Based on the Disney film written by Ron Clements, John Musker, Donald McEnery, Bob Shaw, and Irene Mecchi, and directed by Ron Clements and John Musker. Cast: 200+ New Yorkers including Jelani Alladin (Hercules), Roger Bart (Hades), Jeff Hiller(Panic), James Monroe Iglehart (Philoctetes), Ramona Keller (Thalia), Tamika Lawrence (Calliope), Krysta Rodriguez (Megara), Rema Webb (Terpsichore), cameo groups 10 Hairy Legs, Passaic High School Marching Band, and a special featured performance by Broadway Inspirational Voices.

The Public Works community partner organizations are Brownsville Recreation Center(Brooklyn),Center for Family Life in Sunset Park(Brooklyn),DreamYard(Bronx),The Fortune Society(Queens),andMilitary Resilience Foundation(all boroughs), along with alumni partnersCasita Maria Center forArts and Education(Bronx),Children’s Aid(all boroughs),andDomestic Workers United(allboroughs

Running time: 90 minutes with no intermission

Please note: there is no performances on Tuesday, September 3 but there is an (suddenly added) performance on Wednesday, September 4 at 8pm

Hercules is on stage at the Delacorte through September 8,2020

It’s a more complicated in-person lottery than @PublicTheaterNY‘s usual one for #ShakespeareinthePark, but, yes, even if you didn’t win the online lottery, you still have a shot at seeing #Hercules at Delacorte w/ stars @JelaniAlladin & @KRYSTAR0DRIGUEZhttps://t.co/Vpsb8fwOhy pic.twitter.com/VAR9F8kVyX

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) August 30, 2019

Hercules Review: Disney at the Delacorte, a Public Works Pageant “Hercules,” a stage adaptation of the 1997 Disney cartoon, is the latest free, Labor Day weekend spectacle at the Delacorte in Central Park by the Public Theater's Public Works, which for seven years now has marked the end of summer as surely as Back to School commercials and freshmen roaming around NYU with their hands in their pockets.

0 notes

druish--princess · 6 years

Text

I was tagged by @its-a-goode-day and I’ll tag @imagines-ahs @ahsporn and @thefandomlesbian

AHS asks

1.) What season is your favorite? Asylum

2.) Which season is your least favorite? I really didn’t like Freak Show, but at least I could sit through it, so I’d have to say Roanoke.

3.) Do you have a favorite episode overall? If yes, which is it? The Coat Hanger, Halloween or Dreadful Pranks Ensue (i think that’s what it’s called? it’s the one from Coven w the zombies)

4.) Who is your favorite character? Ooh that’s hard. Either possessed Sister Mary Eunice from Asylum or Nan from Coven.

5.) Who is your least favorite character? Dandy Mott. Every other villain at least got some backstory. He’s so fucking murdery and sadistic that it’s hard to watch sometimes.

6.) Who has been your favorite guest star so far? I thought Lady Gaga did a pretty good job in Hotel and Roanoke.

7.) If you could have anyone be a guest star, who would it be? John Mulaney. I don’t know why. Let me have this.

8.) If you could come up with the next season, what would it be? I want something with the various children that didn’t get enough screen time teaming up to wreak havoc -Michael or Addie from Murder House, that creepy little girl from Asylum, Lady Gaga’s baby in Hotel, Scarlett from Hotel, and Oz from Cult.

9.) If you could meet any of the cast members, who would it be? Sarah Paulson. I’d faint tho.

10.) What are you looking forward to with next season? Misty!!!! Possible canon Foxxay!! Queenie coming back!!! The Coven actually working together for once!!! Jessica freakin Lange!

Murder House:

1.) Which episode is your favorite? Halloween or the pilot.

2.) Which episode is your least favorite? The finale.

3.) Who is your favorite character? Mm…I’m gonna have to say Violet. She would’ve been such a good final girl if she didn’t die and all. Or Moira.

4.) Who is your least favorite character? Dr. Harmon got on every single one of my nerves. He’s also a terrible psychiatrist.

5.) If you could change anything about this season, what would it be? I wanted to see more of Nora Montgomery, I love her, and I really liked her interacting with Hayden. I also would’ve kept Violet alive.

Asylum:

1.) Which episode is your favorite? The Coat Hanger or The Name Game

2.) Which episode is your least favorite? Spilt Milk

3.) Who is your favorite character? possessed Sister Mary Eunice, but Lana deserves mention for being the most badass character in the whole show. Oh, and Mother Claudia!

4.) Who is your least favorite character? Dr. Arden. I mean, I wouldn’t get rid of the character, but I hate Nazis for personal reasons (obviously) and any scene where he talks about working in the concentration camps made me nauseous.

5.) If you could change anything about this season, what would it be? More scenes with Mary Eunice and Lana, and I would have had Grace, Kit, and Alma all be alive and happy together instead of dying again. Or even if that still happened, the aliens should have come and brought them back again. They deserve happiness!

Coven:

1.) Which episode is your favorite? The Sacred Taking, because Misty’s adorable and Myrtle’s return and Cordelia starting to stand up for herself and the whole episode was so aesthetically pleasing and so many good oneliners. But that scene in Head (you guys know the one) makes me cry every single damn time.

2.) Which episode is your least favorite? Either the finale because of the dumb love triangle sideplot and Misty’s death, or whichever episode Nan dies in.

3.) Who is your favorite character? fuck that’s so hard. Either Misty, Queenie, or Nan probably, but every time Marie Laveau is on screen my knees get weak.

4.) Who is your least favorite character? Hank.

5.) If you could change anything about this season, what would it be? Okay besides the obvious, that Misty should have survived, I wish we’d seen more of her interactions with the other witches while she lived in the house, cuz she just seems to show up in Head magically being super close to Cordelia, but like she thinks she’s friends with Zoe and she rooms with Nan, and we never see that at all. I wanted Madison and Kyle to have a friendship instead of just fucking, or even if they were gonna do that polyamorous thing then it was stupid to have Zoe and Madison fighting over a guy when they should have just ended the show as girlfriends. Also, I wish more of the girls supported Nan. Like when Madison’s always telling her she can’t be the Supreme, and she asks Zoe what she thinks, and Zoe just kind of looks away awkwardly, like bitch you were the one that was all “we’re a Coven we need to protect each other”. I would have kept Nan alive, or at the very least shown her hanging out with Luke in the afterlife or w/e.

Freakshow:

1.) Which episode is your favorite? I liked Orphans because I liked seeing Pepper’s relationship with Sister Mary Eunice evolving. Also, you know, Lily Rabe.

2.) Which episode is your least favorite? the one with the Tupperware party massacre

3.) Who is your favorite character? Pepper or Desiree.

4.) Who is your least favorite character? everyone else

5.) If you could change anything about this season, what would it be? I wish Eve (the strongwoman) would have been a more central character. There would not have been a bloodbath at the end. Ma Petite would definitely not have died. Desiree and Eve would have been girlfriends.

Hotel:

1.) Which episode is your favorite? Be Our Guest–honestly, this season probably has the record for most happy endings

2.) Which episode is your least favorite? The pilot has so many uncomfortable moments, (cough cough drillbit rape)

3.) Who is your favorite character? Sally McKenna or Liz Taylor.

4.) Who is your least favorite character? the addiction monster. But of the main cast, John Lowe. He seemed killer-y from the beginning but damn, what a dick.

5.) If you could change anything about this season, what would it be? I would’ve focused more on Scarlett and Lachlan tbh. I think it might’ve been interesting to see more from their POV. I liked the whole vampire-anti vaxxer analogy, but Alex Lowe locking a bunch of second graders in a room to be eaten by a starving vampire was really brutal to watch. Also Ramona Royale felt like such an unecessary character. And I’m annoyed they killed Queenie.

Roanoke:

1.) Which episode is your favorite? Chapter 1

2.) Which episode is your least favorite? everything after

3.) Who is your favorite character? Shelby, she’s the cutest. And Adina Porter’s character.

4.) Who is your least favorite character? Audrey, Matt, the producer guy, whoever thought Roanoke was a good series theme.

5.) If you could change anything about this season, what would it be? start by changing the theme and go from there.

Cult:

1.) Which episode is your favorite? Great Again

2.) Which episode is your least favorite? Valerie Solanas died for your sins

3.) Who is your favorite character? Winter!!

4.) Who is your least favorite character? Detective Samuels or Meadow.

5.) If you could change anything about this season, what would it be? More scenes with Oz, more scenes of Kai, Winter, and Vincent growing up maybe? And I felt like the excessive misogyny near the end was kind of unecessary. Like, the shift from telling Beverly Hope “equal partnerships” to having her make you a sandwich…I just didn’t follow the line of thinking there, Kai.

1 note · View note

popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling. And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain.

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98. Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98.

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act.

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on.

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days.

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy.

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate.

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can.

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww.

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that.

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads. Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention.

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it.

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut.

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30. So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise.

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that.

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad. Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs. And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly.

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from. So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love. Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that.

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE.

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this.

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that.

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own.

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all.

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No. Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy.

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe. And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial.

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot.

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought.

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches.

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story.

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised. Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off...

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk. Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque.

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating.

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times.

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that. So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse.

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call.

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie.

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect.

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening.

youtube

But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that.

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs.

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie.

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act.

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues. Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice.

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat. Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it. Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did.

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above. At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay...

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis. The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie.

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her. 1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake. 2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit. And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m so sick of talking about her.

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume. So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that.

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF. So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew, while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose.

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy.

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her. Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through. So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection.

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake.

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him. And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star. Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent. So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate.

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times. It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is. The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE. Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for.

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim...

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID Neil bring to the concert?

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass..

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents.

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven.

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag.

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated.

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve.

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome. Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams.

Heck of a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones, Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #ramona flowers #kim pine #stephen stiles #wallace wells #envy adams #lucas lee #oni press #Brian Lee O'malley #knives chau #neil nordgraf

36 notes · View notes