#dick: i've only had danny for half a day but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone then myself

[phantom-0-writer]

the case of the serial killer

3476 words (that was not suppose to happen lol - please send help)

ao3

Dick sat in front of his desk, eyes glazing over the same two lines for the nth time. He let out a tired sigh, and massaged his temples as he leaned back in his chair. 

The Bludhaven Police Department had been investigating the recent serial killings for the past month and a half, with Dick heading the case. Not that it was anything too out of left feild for Dick, he handled plenty of cases like this during his long run as Robin and even in his more recent years as Nightwing. Finding the clues, and piecing together the perfect picture came second nature to him at this point. 

The issue Dick was dealing with right now in fact had nothing to do with the case, instead it was something -or someone else. That someone, Danny No-Last-Name-For-You-Officer. 

The first time Dick had run into him he was doing his rounds when he caught some kids getting into a fight. Naturally he stopped in and the kids that had been trying to start a fight ran away at the sight of his uniform and car. Danny had been a little roughed up by then, but mostly unharmed. 

“Are you okay, kid?” Dick asked, kneeling to meet the kid eye-to-eye. 

Danny had looked at him with a defiance he wasn’t used to seeing in someone that wasn’t a cape, “I didn’t do anything.” He said instead of responding, pulling himself up to his feet. 

“Okay,” Dick nodded calmly, not wanting to frighten the kid. He stood up slowly, with his hands in view, “Are you hurt? I could patch you up, real quick, make sure nothing gets infected.” Danny wore ratty clothes, they had been nice once upon a time, but their time had long passed. 

Danny eyed him suspiciously, “No, I’m fine.” He said more calmly now. Roughly around the age of 15 to 17. Older than Damian, but younger than Tim.

Taking his chance, “You got a name kid?” 

“Danny.” 

“No last name?” Dick asked with a knowing smirk, letting himself appear more playful. 

“Not for you.” Danny gave him a mischievous smirk. Dick could tell the kid could clean up nice, but circumstances seemed unfortunate. 

Dick laughed at his response, to let him know that he wasn’t in any hot water. Danny watched him, waiting for his next move. “You hungry, Danny?” Dick asked casually, trying not to stare at the way the hoodie he was wearing sagged on his shoulders. 

“I’m a growing boy, I’m always hungry.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. Dick laughed again, more genuine this time. 

“Alright, my treat. Let’s go.” Dick said, gesturing as he led the boy to his car. 

“What?” He asked, surprised, Dick turned around to look at him when he didn’t follow. “Why?”

“You’re a growing boy.” Dick echoed. Danny snorted, but followed after him nonetheless. Dick put on the GPS on his phone, even though he knew the way as Danny sat in the passenger seat. 

They spent the next hour together, falling into a steady rhythm of conversation and joking. After their first meeting, Danny and Dick ran into each other more. The grocery store, playground, library, school, so on. For the first 2 weeks it had been coincidental, but slowly Dick found himself looking forward to their random meetings, happy to see that the kid was doing alright. 

That had been until the first murder had happened. 

It had been raining, colder than the weather usually was around this time of year, the streets mostly empty. Dick had been doing his usual rounds on patrol, wondering how Danny was doing like he always did. 

The world has a strange way of giving you what you want. 

As Dick turned around the corner, he slammed his brakes hard at the figure who had been standing in the middle of the road. Dick got out of his car, leaving it on the side of the road when the person didn’t move. As he got closer dread filled Dick’s gutt as he made out the figure to be a cold, drenched Danny clenching his chest. 

“Danny!” Dick called, rushing over to the boy. As Dick got closer he noticed the boy looked pale and his lips were turning blue. 

“Dick.” Danny said hollowly, his voice barely audible over the loud rain. Danny turned to look at him with a shaken and horrified expression. 

Dick held his shoulder firmly, leading him to the car and out of the rain. Danny allowed it without protest, which only caused Dick to worry more. “What happened?” He asked once the boy had huddled himself under the blanket Dick kept in his car (he had gotten it after the second time he met Danny during patrol, the boy always seemed cold). 

Danny turned to him, “He’s dead.” He answered morbidly.

“Who?” Dick asked concerned, he didn’t think the boy had a father or brother present, at least not one that he had mentioned. 

“I dunno. Just some guy.” No one he knew then. 

“Danny, buddy. Can you explain what you saw.” Dick tried again. 

Danny took a shaky breath, “I was just heading home, y’know, from the library. And I heard a scream, so I went to go check it out. And it was a guy just laying there in a pool of blood.” Danny looked down at his own hands, his fingers stained in red. 

“Can you tell me where?” 

“Around the corner, across from Susan’s.” Danny said quietly. He must have been really shaken up seeing it, it wasn’t exactly normal to see a bloodied body during your regularly scheduled activities. 

Dick could go there later as Nightwing to investigate, but right now he had bigger things to deal with. “Alright, put your seatbelt on.” Dick said, putting the car in drive. Danny, not fully there, quietly did as Dick asked. At the next redlight, Dick called the Chief and let her know about the potential murder case and that he would be calling off for the night. He’d probably have to bring Danny in for his testimony, but that was later. 

As the light turned green Dick looked over at his passenger again to find Danny already fast asleep, heater blaring in his face. Dick smiled softly at the sight as he drove them to his apartment. 

After Dick parked his car he hesitated for a moment before deciding to wake Danny up so he could shower and maybe eat something. He could borrow some of Tim’s clothes. 

“Hm.” Danny blinked barely at Dick, “We're are we?” He asked looking around at the parking garage. 

“My place. C’mon lets get you cleaned up.”  Dick unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. 

Danny blinked at him in surprise, “What? Why are we at your place?” 

“Well considering I don’t know where you live, I had to take you somewhere.” Dick shrugged casually, letting the kid think Dick didn’t know he was homeless was better than him thinking Dick was pitying him. Danny would not appreciate pity. 

Danny didn’t retort, a true sign of how weary he was.

Dick made a quick dinner. You can’t go wrong with pasta and air fried chicken. While the food finished cooking Dick busied himself in random mundane activities, not wantong Danny to find him looking over a case when he got out of the shower. Dick pulled out an old cookbook he’d gotten for his highschool graduation, a gag gift from Wally, when something between the pages fell out. 

Picking it up Dick saw an old photo, one of him standing between his parents proudly after one of their performances. Sometimes Dick would feel a deep sadness when he looked at pictures of his parents and realized he had forgotten their faces, their mannerisms and their laughs. But this time, when Dick looked at the picture and saw his dad smiling at the camera next to his mom, he remembered Danny. It was strange how Danny had the same cowlick as his mom, same nose arch as his dad, a jawline that looked like his almost, before his larger muscle definition came into play. At the time that line of thought had been disturbed by Danny walking back into the living room and stubbing his tie on the foot of Dick’s sofa. 

After that Dick had made sure they had each other’s numbers. He called Danny anytime the weather was bad, or it was cold, or there was too much food at his house or whatever random reason he could come up with. 

After about a week of Dick calling Danny over, Danny came over on his own one night. 

Dick was dressed in his Nightwing suit about to head out for the night when he heard the front door rattling. Realizing someone was trying to break into his apartment and knowing that it wasn’t his siblings (they would’ve used the window) Dick quickly threw his domino under his blanket and threw on the first pair of sweats he could find, just in time for the door to open. Slipping a small pocket knife into his hands, Dick positioned himself to get a good view of the living room where the trespasser still was. 

Getting ready to get the jump on the trespasser Dick happened to get a good look at and noticed the familiar mop of black hair, and overfilled school bag by the door. Coming into view, letting his hands relax by his side, “Danny?” he breathed confused and relieved. 

“‘Sup.” He nodded casually before noticing Dick’s appearance. “Your pants are backwards.” He commented candidly. Dick could feel himself flush in embarrassment, but that seemed to send the wrong impression on Danny, The younger boy leaned in to whisper to him, “You got a special friend over?” He raised an intrigued brow at Dick. 

“What?” Dick spluttered “No.” 

“Sad.” Danny shook his head in disappointment, making his way to the dining table and plopped his stuff on a chair and pulled out a few well-used notebooks. “The library closed early today, so I thought why not break into the local cop's place. I got a paper due tomorrow.” He explained half serious, half joking. “You don’t have to worry about me if you were about to head out somewhere.” How had he known? 

“Uh, yeah I was just going-” Think, Dick. “-Get groceries.” Dick internally winced at the suspicious brow Danny gave him. 

“At 10:30 PM?” 

“Yes.” All that Bat training, and for what? 

Danny blinked, “Cool.” he said dismissively, turning back to his homework. 

Not looking a gift horse in the mouth Dick left his apartment stuffing his weapons into an old travel bag he had on hand and changing in the empty elevator. 

When he got home from his patrol (earlier than he normally would’ve) remembering to buy the aforementioned groceries for some semblance of a cover story he found Danny fast asleep over scattered papers on the dining table. Putting away the perishables, Dick picked Danny up (who snuggled into his chest at the contact - yes, Dick was definitely completely okay after that) and laid him on the spare bed he kept on hand for his siblings. 

The next few times Danny snuck into his house (Dick had offered him a key, but Danny had refused) things had gone similarly if not slightly more smoothly until the completely predictable and unavoidable happened. 

Dick was halfway through his usual route as Nightwing, stopping a few muggings, and investigating the serial killer case some more. There were almost 9 different murders at this point with seemingly no similarities between the victims, other than the method of death. After going through the most recent crime scene Dick’s heard his phone go off. It surprised him slightly since he usually keeps it on silent, but he was alone so no harm no foul. 

It was a message from Danny, it was probably a meme or funny video he had found. Dick could use a pick me up after another crime scene bust so he opened it. The message was not what he had been expecting. 

Danno: sos?  Danno: im at ur place

Fearing the worst, Dick dialed his number. Danny hung up before the first ring, which did nothing for his nerves. Rushing in the direction of his apartment, not even bothering to do anything about the costume he was wearing, the worst scenarios rushed through Dick’s mind. 

When his apartment was in view the first thing Dick noticed was the open window that he most certainly had not left open. Quietly slipping onto the fire escape Dick peered through to see the scene. The only light that was still on was the living room light, likely where Danny was, but Dick easily noticed the hulking figure in the kitchen. He was easily too tall, and too muscular to be Danny. The figure moved slightly and the shape of a gun could be seen in his hands. 

Not wasting any time, Dick expertly slipped through the open window and tackled the figure to the floor, arm held at his back and escrima stick at his assailant's neck. 

“What the fuck-” The figure said startled at Dick’s unexpected attack, 

Now with a better view Dick was able to see the familiar red helmet and leather jacket the assailant wore, “Jason?” Dick asked, surprised. 

“I thought we were past this. Y’know let bygones be bygones, or whatever.” Jason joked easily, wiggling his way out Dick’s slacking grip. 

The situation finally unfolded in front of Dick. Danny had been in his apartment and Jason as Red Hood had also come to his apartment. Danny thought someone had broken in, and Jason also thought someone had broken in. Was Jason about to shoot Danny? Where was Danny? 

Quickly getting up, and ignoring Jason’s earlier remark he walked through the kitchen and into the living room, “Danny?” He called, not wanting to scare the kid. 

Jason gave him a confused look, but came to an understanding on his own when the familiar teenager peeped out from behind the couch holding a knife in his hands. His expression only became more shocked after he saw Dick, and it took Dick a second too long to remember that he was still wearing his Nightwing costume. 

“Aw shit.” 

Danny blinked at him, regaining his composure and pointing the knife at Jason, “Friend of yours?” 

After all the explanations had been explained they all sat around the couch, a stack of empty pizza boxes between them. 

“You saw me with a gun and you decided you could take me with a knife?” Jason scoffed at Danny, helmet left forgotten under the table. 

“I could take you without the knife.” Danny rolled his eyes, taking the last slice of pizza. 

“Big talk.” Jason puffed out his chest in some strange show of alpha male behavior. 

“Are you askin’ for a fight?” Danny challenged. 

Fearing the direction the conversation was taking Dick stepped in “Alright, you’re both pretty. Let’s break it up.” 

That had just been last week. 

Two days ago Dick had gotten a call from Danny. Danny usually didn’t call, preferring to text, but would usually answer when Dick called, 

“Hey, Dickface.” Danny greeted snottily. Dick noticed he was out of breath. 

“Hey, Danny. What’s up?” 

“You got the night shift today?” Night Shift was what Danny had taken to calling his vigilant duties. There was a lot of movement on Danny’s end of the phone, but Danny was always moving around so Dick hadn’t thought it was weird. 

“Yup. Whatcha’ up to?” Dick asked curiously, cleaning up his mess from dinner, leaving Danny’s portion in the fridge for later. The fridge was more stocked than it had been since Dick had moved in, he had purposely bought food that Danny would like, and the boy had finally begun filling out his skeleton. 

“Oh y’know, cardio. Getting those steps in.” He let out a winded chuckle, “When you get the chance, check out the warehouse on 12th street later tonight. The one with the cracked pavement outside.” 

“You got a lead?” Dick asked surprised, “From where?” He was suspicious, just curious. 

“A friend of mine told me. Thought you should know.” There was a thud in the background, like something hit metal. 

“You okay?” Dick asked concerned. 

“Yeah, it was a cat.” He said easily, Danny let out a hiss of annoyance, “Gotta go, Later.” He hung up before Dick could say anything else. 

Dick let out a tired sigh. The kid had grown on him like fungus. Though not entirely unappreciated, Dick was not ready to hear his siblings' inevitable comments on how he took after Bruce. Didn’t help that Danny happened to fit the profile. 

The warehouse had given them a few clues, but they still weren’t any closer to finding the serial killer. 

Danny hadn’t come by the apartment after that phone call. Or responded to any of Dick’s texts. 

This morning when he was getting dressed he got a call from the precinct. It was still 30 minutes before his shift. 

“Grayson, this is Officer Gomez, the Chief wants you in as earliest as you can get here,” Officer Gomez spoke urgently. 

“I can be there in 15.” He reported, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys. 

“Alright.” Gomez hung up. 

As soon as he got in the doors the Chief was waiting for him by the entrance. “Took your sweet time, huh Grayson.” she chided. 

“Dunno what you mean, Chief. I’m 15 minutes early.” He gave her a charming smile, and the Chief rolled her eyes. 

“There’s been a development in your case.” The Chief started as they walked together, Dick nodded at her in acknowledgement. But the Chief hesitated, before speaking again. That was unlike her. “There was another murder victim found, in the east district. Our night crew got an alert.” 

Most of the victims had been in the west district, based on the location south may have been a more appropriate transition. It could be a coincidence or it meant the killer had a personal vendetta against these people, or maybe just the victim from the east district. It felt like all the pieces Dick had managed to put together were falling apart again. 

“Our latest victim was a male, caucasian potential of mixed descent, age estimated around 15 to 17,” that was younger than the other had been, “black hair, blue eyes, roughly 5’ 5”.” The chief turned to look at him now, “goes to Westwood High School, prefers juice to soft drinks, always feels cold to touch,” 

Dick looked at Chief in confusion, these were incredibly specific descriptions, and they sounded awfully familiar. 

She continued, “He lets his hot chocolate get cold before he drinks it,” Danny had done that once when Dick had brought him in for his testimony. “And he plucks the marshmallows out of it with a fork, and called it a snowman.” 

No.

“You keep extra snacks for him in the glove box of your car even though it’s against protocol,” 

No,

Dick hands were clammy when he pulled out his phone from his pocket. Personal use of devices was strictly against the rules. Chief said nothing. Dick found Danny’s contact easily in his recents tab. He held it up to his ear waiting for the kid on the other side to answer with his usual “What can I do ya’ for officer.” or some iteration of the classic “Hey, Dickface.” 

It went to voicemail. 

Danny always answered his phone, and when he didn’t he would text Dick a reason within the next five minutes. So he waited. 

It had been 10 minutes already. Why wasn’t he responding? 

Dick called him again. Voicemail. 

Nononono. Not again. 

How was it that Dick was always too slow. 

Too slow to save his parents. 

Too slow to get to Jason in time. 

And now too slow to solve this case.  

Dick Grayson was a failure in every way that mattered. 

He looked at the familiar body ready to be put into an ice chamber for further examination in the morgue. 

“Go home for the day, Grayson.” 

Go home and do what? 

Danny’s notes were still sprawled over the coffee table. He said he had a test next week. Danny’s food was still in the fridge. His bed was still a mess, and his clothes were on the floor. 

“Give me the case files. I’ll look over them again.” He didn’t recognize his voice when he spoke, he wasn’t even sure it was his. Chief didn’t argue, handing over the files. 

The day had gone by and Dick was still stuck in front of his double monitor desk, pictures and words blurring together in nonsensical smudges on the screen. 

“Grayson.” Chief called him. Dick looked up, catching a glimpse of the dark night sky from the glass doors. How long had he been here? 

“Yeah?” He responded dryly. 

“Head home.” 

Dick wasn’t sure when he had gotten to the front of his apartment, only realizing he had when the keys jiggled loudly missing the keyhole on the door. 

When he got inside he found Jason sitting casually on the couch, reading a book. “Oh Honey, you’re home.” He joked. 

Dick couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. 

Danny’s papers flew from the wind of the open window. Dick closed it. When he didn’t pick up the papers, Jason bent down to do it. “Anyways, where’s the kid? Didn’t you want me to help him with his homework or someshit. I need to beat it into his head that I’m better at him.” Jason said the last part loudly, letting it echo through the house in case Danny was hiding in its crevices. 

Dick turned to him, Jason looked back at him for a long moment before the mischievous look slipped from his eyes. “Dick, where’s the kid?” 

There was a deafening silence in the apartment. 

“He’s dead.” The table under Jason’s hands let out a loud crunch, as his face darkened. 

Before Jason could breathe an air of the threat of murder that was definitely ready to roll from his tongue, there was a quiet clatter in the kitchen. 

“Who’s dead?” Danny asked, appearing in the living room with a large bowl of cereal he was shoveling into his mouth.

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table of contents

#this was originally suppose to be a biosibling danny and dick but by the time i got to the reveal it felt kinda forced so i dropped it #but its still kinda in there if u like the idea #timeline who? #dick grayson #nightwing #danny fenton #danny and dick #jason is also kinda there #major character death except its danny #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #danny got flashbacks to his parents basement activities when he saw that dead body #but dick thinks hes having normal civilian reaction to seeing dead body #jason and danny wanna duke it out #dick is being responsible #this is exactly the kinda bs i feel like jason would say #argue w the wall #dick got bruce's adoption tendencies #dick: i've only had danny for half a day but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone then myself #danny was just trying to help dick out w his case and what better way then to get the murder to murder u then pull an uni reverse #danny's in the living room lol #get it bc he's dead #bruce: says smt #danny snikering: over my dead body #dick: thats not funny danny #danny: its kinda funny #jason makes those exact jokes: i think its funny #danny instantly: nvm its not funny #steph and cass puppy dog eyes: can we keep 'im pretty please #kind of angst

[im-not-remotely-traught]

NIGHTWING BINGO (3)

Here's my updated BINGO card for episode 24 + some thoughts

I loved seeing the story behind the family team photo that's popped up a few times this season (and yes I'm counting that as a Wally flashback). I structured Dick's, Raquel's, and Kaldur's BINGO cards around flashbacks, hoping for something similar to Artemis's arc, but that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. Oh well. I'm still holding out for that Infinity Island check though

Danny was an absolute highlight in this episode for me. Almost instantly it was very much was the "I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone here and then myself" meme from Brooklyn 99. Yes, I know something did, in fact, happen to him. I'm still holding out hope that he's okay, I mean we don't exactly know what fractilze means, right? Right?

Other than that, this episode wasn't really it for me. I feel like some things are getting confusing. How much does Superboy actually remeber? How can the team mentally communicate with one another? Didn't Forager just go to Oa and now Forager is back to Earth? Why did Lor go to Oa in the first place? tbh I was so confused during that whole scene. Isn't that Tomar guy dead? Didn't Lor kill him? Does Kilawog not recognize Lor? Then there was the line establishing that Tomar Re was Tomar Tu's father and I was less confused.

Anyways, I didn't love this episode, but it got things done. I guess.

#young justice #young justice spoilers #yj spoilers #young justice BINGO

[mxtcha-tea]

Truly Greg

��desc; haikyuu as Danny Gonzalez quotes (out of context)

✎pairing[s]; haikyuu x reader (platonic? romantic? who knows)

✎genre; crack

✎languange[s]; english

✎chef note; self explanatory (also using text type dividers cause this is gonna be so much)

✎warning; cursing, mentions of death, pulling out your organs (one time only), beating up someone, degrading and bad sex jokes(?)

Yamagata:"WHERE ARE THE GIRLS"

»»---------------------►

Atsumu:"What's up guys, I've finally escaped from the serial killer! My life's in serious jeopardy right now so make sure you smash that like button guys!"

»»---------------------►

Terushima:"Don't worry," *smirk* "We're the good guys ehehe—"

»»---------------------►

Daichi:"If we don't see anything in that basement, you better get your ass back in that house and you're gonna stop complaining, alright?!"

»»---------------------►

Hoshiumi:"FUCK THAT ALLIGATOR"

»»---------------------►

Tsukishima:"You fucking bitch. You think anyone could ever love you? YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE BEFORE ANYONE LOVES YOU! NO ONE, WOULD EVER LOVE YOU. UGLY BABY, UGLY BABY!" *menacingly points at a child*

»»---------------------►

Ennoshita:"Basically, if you're not normal, you're gonna fucking suck at everything. You're not going to be able to do, all the other things people could do. Basically, what's gonna happen is that you're gonna lose at everything all the time and we're making this movie, to children, to introduce you to that harsh reality, right away"

»»---------------------►

Suga:"I have always dreamed about water, living in it, tasting it, BREATHING IT, LOVING IT, LOVING THE WATER—"

»»---------------------►

Konoha:"Holy shit, this room's small as hell. Hey, try not to be an anti social little bitch the whole time, alright?"

»»---------------------►

[y/n]:"Excuse me, can I go to the bathroom?"

The whole Shiratorizawa:*GASPS*

Yamagata:"WHAT THE FUCK—" *looking around in fear*

Semi:"The bathroom..?"

Kawanishi:"I haven't seen anyone gone to the bathroom in 15 years..."

Tendou:"Why would anyone go to the bathroom??"

Reon:"This doesn't make any sense!"

Goshiki:"Guys, my bones are getting squishy" *flailing his arms around*

»»---------------------►

Bokuto:"Akaashi, you forgot to pay the electricity bill again!" *trying to turn on the lights but missing everytime*

»»---------------------►

Kenma:"END THE SCENE, END IT NOW!"

»»---------------------►

Kiyoko:"Suga, she's trying to teach them on how to be ladies. Do not tell them about butts, ladies are not suppose to know about butts"

»»---------------------►

Mattsun:"Now, this is your side of the room. I've leave it completely untouched, I didn't go over your closet and smell your clothes and rub my bare butt all over your bed. So you don't have to worry about any of that"

»»---------------------►

Tendou:"Sex mode activated!" *spins with flashing lights around* "It's fucking time!"

»»---------------------►

Sakusa(?):"No girls, no parties and no fun. You're not allowed to date anyone while I make this app, [y/n]. You're mine, [y/n]"

»»---------------------►

Yamamoto:"THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, KENMA! DON'T YOU GET IT?!" *runs towards Kenma and passive aggressively hold his shoulders* "THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, THEY'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I EVER SEEN! AND THEY DOES LAUNDRY, KENMA. THAT'S THE ONLY THING I KNOW ABOUT THEM, KENMA!"

»»---------------------►

Suna:"Okay, I'm gonna say the 'c' word, everybody ready? Commitment!"

Atsumu:"AGHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Osamu:"NO—

»»---------------------►

Asahi:"I hope this is a 'smooth' ride, ehehe..I just genuinely hope, that it is a smooth ride. And I don't know anything, that will lead me to believe, that it won't be"

»»---------------------►

Yaku:"[y/n]?? On an app?? Meeting people?? Nuh uh"

»»---------------------►

Bokuto:*standing while smiling at the camera*

Bokuto, a few minutes later:*started looking dripping af with a backward cap and sunglasses, cake getting bigger while still smiling at the camera*

Bokuto, in another few minutes later:*Is now a wizard with a big cake while still smiling at the camera*

»»---------------------►

Fukunaga:"Oh, look at this! Look at this lady getting shot right in front of me, that's kinda fun"

»»---------------------►

Oikawa:"Alright gang, let's punch this bitch" *started punching a bitch with rhythm* "And one! And two!"

Seijoh 3rd year and [y/n]:*doing the same* "And one! And two!"

»»---------------------►

Ushijima:"Bounce and have fun, I don't care. Yeah you found a trampoline, who gives a shit? Just bounce and have fun. You don't have to tell me everytime you found a bounce here"

»»---------------------►

Futakuchi:"Oh yeah daddy" *snickers* "Oh yeah daddy, chase me down the streets!"

»»---------------------►

Kuroo:"Come come everybody just come, JUST COME! Don't ask any questions, let's together bath"

»»---------------------►

Akagi:"Kechaw!"

»»---------------------►

Kyoutani:"Hey can I rip up your stomach and pull out your kidney?"

»»---------------------►

Aran:"Ah, I'm a busy businessman, gonna drink some water" *taking a sip*

Atsumu:*with his shirt half up* "I can suck your dick"

Aran:*chokes on water*

»»---------------------►

Inuoka:"Wait, that's not papa. Who the fuck is that? DID THEY GET RID OF PAPA?? DID THEY GET A DIVORCE OR SOMETHING?? YOU'RE NOT PAPA, WHERE'S PAPA???"

»»---------------------►

Semi:"Listen to this song, vibe it. Really, really dig on it, chew it, munch munch crunch it, throw it up, groove with it"

»»---------------------►

Noya:"[y/n]'s cooking me dinner? And now they're sitting??" *Laughs*

»»---------------------►

Lev:"Think you ain't beautiful? Stop that! Stop it right now! You think you're not beautiful?" *pauses while thinking* "Stop that!"

»»---------------------►

Koganegawa:"I will pay, 20 thousand yen, for whoever can find me [y/n]—"

»»---------------------►

Aone:"You beautiful, you strong, you healthy, you, good grades, handsome"

»»---------------------►

Makki:"Oh no! Oh, dammit! This really ruins my whole day! My friend breaking his neck and shit. Oh no..."

»»---------------------►

Kageyama:"GIVE ME THAT, FUCKING ICE CREAM"

»»---------------------►

Akaashi:"I was a perfectly frozen statue! Nothing could hurt me, I was basically in a coma! But then you kids had to come and touch me, and now I can't go two seconds without falling out of a wall and shattering into pieces. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be an egg? No, you've never been an egg in your life! Next time I shatter, can you just let me die? Don't get the horses and the men, don't get the rabbit or the mouse, just let me die, please"

»»---------------------►

Hinata:"Mmn, men's tea" *sipping tea with his pants on fire* "This is what I wanted"

»»---------------------►

Takehito:"Oh hey man, huh"

Kamasaki:*menacingly jogging towards him*

Takehito:"Hey dude! Good to see you" *waving his hand*

Kamasaki:*Keeps jogging*

Takehito:*smile slowly turns into a frown* "Oh no..."

Kamasaki:*grinning scarily at him while STILL jogging*

Takehito:"Oh, no, no, GOD NO, NO!"

Kamasaki:*pushes him and started punching him*

Takehito:"WHY???"

Kamasaki:*kept on punching* "You're my best, friend!"

»»---------------------►

Hirugami:"Hey dude, you really need to turn your life around. You're making everybody sad, watching you. You can stop that"

»»---------------------►

Kindaichi:"I'm gone, I'm GONE, I'M GONE"

»»---------------------►

Yamaguchi:"Alright, let's try onnnnn" *put the mirror in front of a figurine* "this guy" *holds it up*

[y/n]:*pops up in the scene*

*eerie music starts*

Yamaguchi:*smile flatters*

[y/n]:*looks at yamaguchi and stopped smiling* "You can see me..."

Yamaguchi:"...what?"

[y/n]:"You...you can see me" *points at themself*

Yamaguchi:*shaking slightly* "Who are you...?"

[y/n]:"Finally...."

Yamaguchi:"Huh..."

[y/n]:"FINALLY, I'M A REAL PERSON!—"

Yamaguchi:*puts the mirror down as the figurine turns back to normal* *sighs* *looks back at the camera* "It didn't work"

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu crack #haikyuu fluff #? #maybe #will add more tags later cause my dumbass accidently post this #smh it's okay since I've already finished it anyway

[oceanselevenism]

I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

#oceans 11 #oceans eleven #danny ocean #rusty ryan #danny x rusty #oceans 8 #oceans eight

[imacrowcawcaw]

These Dreams (Sanny) 2/3

Part 1:

Guys this is pure (gay) smut ok So be warned

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"So... who was it? Do I know them?"

Of fucking course Sam knew 'them', they both knew that. He could drag it out a little more, though, get something out of this experience.

"Yeah, you do. I couldn't look at them for a few days after. Or, like, every time I did I just thought about it and I couldn't stop. I was so horny and so scared that week, it was hell. I wanted so bad to just go up and kiss them, but I couldn't."

Sam looked him in the eye, spoke slowly. "I think you could. Should. No one in their right mind would reject you, just go for it."

This was the best invitation he was ever going to get, so Danny did just go for it. He landed a little more on Sam's cheek than he planned; he guessed Sam was anticipating it and moved, too.

They smiled and tried again, this time turning their heads until a little click went off in their brains, like a medicine bottle, telling them they were in a good spot. At this angle, Danny could feel a piece of Sam's hair free from it's bun tickling his forehead. Their noses were right next to each other, breathing in long, slow drags of air as they finally explored.

Sam kissed like he played, Danny found out. He was solid and steadily pushing for more, but not aggressive, strong and confident, carrying the body of their music on his rolling notes. It was warm, heady, they fit together like they always had, if they just looked to each other.

Danny let Sam lead, just enjoyed the comfort of finally, finally after all these years, kissing his best friend. He rubbed, back and forth, his lips against Sam's bottom one, feeling the tiny bit of scruff he was oh so proud of rub against his own chin.

The difference was what he had dreamed of. He could discern Sam's hands, large and bony, moving up his arms towards his shoulders. The facial hair, the Sammy smell, his delicate features and strong jaw were smudged right up against him.

Danny pressed their heads together at the temples, disconnecting their lips. He huffed out a ragged breath, lips brushing not pressing against Sam's.

"Mmm... always knew you were a good kisser."

Danny smiled, shy, pleased, ecstatic and the slight bit of apprehension gone fron his stomach now that he was settled in Sam's arms.

"Yeah, you too. Thought about it, for ages," he admitted, no longer playing the avoidance card. This was happening.

"Knew it..." Sam muttered into their kiss, already back for more now that Danny was right in front of him.

"You know everything, Sama...." Danny replied, half minded, dedicated to giving Sam anything he wanted to take.

Danny rolled onto his back when Sam rocked forward; pounced really, lunged at him with his mouth and his pelvis and his long legs wrapping around Danny, moving him where he wanted.

Sam settled himself over his best friend, reaping the benefits of his verbal interrogation. He ground downwards, squeezed his legs around Danny, kissed at his neck.

Shuddering above him and groaning sweeter than anything he'd ever heard, Danny let Sam work over him. He closed his, eyes, thrusting upwards into the intensely heated space between their hips, hands gripping Sam's butt cheeks to pull him down.

They writhed on the bed, diagonally with their feet hanging off the end and Danny's head in danger of banging into the side table if Sam made him shake enough, which he very well might. Danny was amazed at how good this felt, how much better than his dream this was.

Sam stuck his tongue in Danny's mouth, his hips grinding endlessly down as he drove them straight towards the cliff of orgasm.

"Tell me..." Sammy panted against his ear, blown eyes shining with lust and a fair sprinkling of love, "Who did you dream about, Danny?What did he do to you?"

"This! You! I've thought about you, Sammy, for so long. Came in my shorts from you riding me, grinding, holding me down just like this. Want to really feel it this time."

"You will," Sam said, nearly growled. He kept his hips low but raised his chest high, pushing down on Danny's shoulders.

"Gonna make you come, make all your dreams come true. Your mine!"

Danny keened, higher than he'd like to admit at the back of his throat. His toes clenched in air where their feet were hanging off the side if the bed, thighs shaking and hips helplessly churning upwards against Sam, never stopping.

Sam looked down at him, a crazed, gleeful smile on his face. He kept moving, working the cum out of Danny and spreading it around in his pants with his pumping hips. His hands pressed down harder, pushing Danny to the mattress, making him arch up to keep their bodies connected despite the oversensitivity making him quake.

Danny could tell Sam was nearly there, would tumble over the brink with any little addition to their equation but it was up to him to decide what. He went with putting on a show, knowing Sam had a tiny bit of a voyerestic streak. Or, at least, he'd always loved watching Danny.

Sam came to the sight of Danny's long lashes fluttering, his plush mouth sighing his name, large hands holding Sam to his semi erect dick. Arms pushing him up, Sam shuddered over Danny and then hung there, suspended only by bones locked in place. He hung his head, panting, hair falling sideways as the bun came loose and grinning bigger than ever.

Part 3

#greta van fleet #gvf #gvf fix #gvf slash #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #sam kiszka #danny wagner #sanny #smut #first time