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#dei says stuff
your-pal-dei · 4 months
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man I love tumblr bc I will be scrolling and minding my own business and then someone mentions a book and that's how I get book recs
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About:
Hi I'm Evan, my pronouns are he/they and I am genderfluid and bi, I'm an intp, i have AuDHD and I make art sometimes which I usually post on my art blog, I am a slytherin and child of Apollo, I mainly kin Regulus but also Remus and James a bit
Art blog:
@evans-art-madness
url previously:
evanislurking
main fandoms:
marauders, percy jackson, spiderman, the goldfinch, the secret history, total drama, stranger things, SIX, hamilton, heathers, whatever I've watched/read recently or am hyperfixating on
tags:
#evan and dei shenanegins - me and dei say stupid shit
#evan says stuff - my shitposts
#evans music - music recs and me simping for songs
#evans rants - self explanatory
current playlist:
reading list:
the secret history by Donna Tartt (currently reading)
the candance of part time poets (paused reading)
crimson rivers by bizarrestars (currently reading)
DNI:
basic, homophobes, transphobes, sexist, racist, etc. just don't be a dick, also if you know me irl and I've not specifically given you my tumblr
pfp is my art, please do not repost without credit (this goes for any of my art I post)
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anyway all that to say. the real theme of “Miss Scarlet and the Duke” is definitely that men and women working together in concert with one another are truly the most unstoppable force and they should strive to do so to achieve truly the best outcomes in all areas of society and the world. so respect one another and your differences and see them instead as a valuable asset that can supplement your own skill set, instead of a competitor to be bested or disproven
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erudipitous · 7 months
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I'm trying so hard not to obsess over every social interaction I had last weekend
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psychedeliclulu · 43 minutes
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I thought I would stay within 45,000 words...but no, I just passed it 👀
Asfgddgjjfyeyjdukjff I'm excited...! I'm at the end, for real!
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(for today I have to stop here and finish some work)
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mx-paint · 1 year
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#god.#i think a big part of disc elys is the fact that everything being from harrys pov affects how you perceive things#like this is specifically about his and doras relationship#theyve been done for over half a decade (probably longer)#and the big part about the story is he classfies dora as a religious figure#and the Implications for that#like. you can literally see delores dei as a *war criminal*#and even playing as a person that *wants* to let go#gets you placed in positions that say no. you cant. youre not ready for this to end.#like. its clear that while i dont think the relationship was toxic it was unhealthy#like to me theres an implication that she cheated with someone else and had a baby with them#or that she had a kid with them after she left#and it gives that much more weight to the 'unborn daughters' comment#like. god what a game.#to me you can take these interactions with them in a lot of ways#is it all true? are they memories taken out of context? are they just his distorted brain making up stuff?#are these meant to have clear answers?#and the fact the only conversation we actually have straight with her is on the phone#and its clear that this has happened before#is she just putting up with this? or does she feel like she *has* to for some reason?#and jean saying that She was the one that got him to move from being a gym teacher to the rcm#ans the fact she grew up middle class while harry decidedly didnt#and a big part of the relationship issues seem to be more money and home related than just the relationship itself#(in fact she even implies that the reason she terminated her pregnancy with him was bc he was poor)
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duck-duck-newton · 1 year
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marvelfanfics1 · 1 month
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Hi! Could you do a Rafe x Little!Reader where it is the readers first time being little around Rafe and the reader is very shy and emotional and it’s just all cute and fluffy please?
I totally get it if you can’t!
Btw, I absolutely loved your Moody Princess one shot, thank you so much for writing it!
Baby's Safe Space
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Pairing: daddy!rafe x pogue!little!reader
Warnings: age regression, small mentions of past abuse, soft!rafe, fluff
A/n: Thank you lovely! I hope I made the request justice and that you like how it came out 🫣🫶🏻
⭒𖥸⭒
It took Rafe some time to understand the aspects of regressing but after you explained it to him he started to do more research on his own, and maybe buying some stuff online he thought you would like, to show his support.
You told Rafe that regressing is just how you cope with past trauma you endured during your childhood.
He understood how important it is for your little self to feel safe and protected, knowing it's not for everyone to see and felt honored that you finally got the courage to talk about it with him. That you feel safe enough in his presence to show your most vulnerable side.
Growing up at the cut with abusive parents took quite a tool on you and as you found out about the term age regression it was clear to you it's what you needed to cope or what you deserved to have.
Rafe was beyond anxious that he somehow mess things up by saying or doing the wrong thing that it results in you being little by yourself again.
He felt bad knowing you probably were only little when he would have busy work days or a business trip.
It was a little into the afternoon and you just got out of the bathroom after doing your skincare and Rafe instantly noticed the pastel colored jammies that had little bunnies printed all over them.
He smiled at you softly, internally excited as hell to finally see that side of you and even curious as to how different your behavior is now in this state.
He noticed at the way you fiddled with the hem of your shirt that you're probably even more nervous than him right now, which is totally understandable.
It was already a hard challenge for you to even tell him about it.
Putting his phone aside he waved you over to him.
"Come here, baby. Promise I won't bite ya." He smirked and to see you smile a little was already a triumph to him.
Shyly you shuffled over to the bed, climbing your way up to snuggle into Rafe's side and grasping his shirt in one of your hands.
He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head when suddenly he remembered what he had hidden under the bed. "Ah- wait a second..."
He reached beside under the bed to pull out a white box with a rather big red ribbon on top of it. You sat up straight when he placed it between you both. "I- uh...thought you might like it and if not that's totally fine."
You haven't even opened it yet but Rafe certainly knew you cherish absolutely anything he gifted you.
He was just afraid he would go too far with what he bought you but the sparkle in your eyes already eased his nerves a little.
You slowly took of the lid and gasped. There was a lamb stuffie, color books with crayons, and some obviously custom made pacis in your favorite colors you had been dreaming of getting for yourself for a while now.
You instantly teared up, scaring Rafe beyond belief. "Hey, hey...what's wrong kid?" He asked reaching out to cup your face in his large palms, his thumb swiping away the tears that slipped before asking. "Was it too much at once?"
You quickly shook your head which was a little hard with him holding your face. You placed your hands over his, smiling at him. "Dey are happy tears."
"Really? You don't have to say that just to-" you silenced him by leaning forward to peck his lips.
"fank you, Rafey..." You whispered and he pressed his forehead against yours.
"Not for that, baby. I'd do anything to make you happy."
After your sweet moment you only pulled out the stuffie and a paci, placing the box on the ground beside the bed and snuggled back into Rafe's side. You popped in your paci and had the lamb held snugly under your chin while he turned on the TV and looked through Netflix for a movie that suited your headspace, yet he had some difficulty.
"Can you tell me how old you're feeling right now?" He asked and you held up three fingers. After a moment of looking through the kids section he stopped when you squealed quietly and pointed your finger at the screen at seeing your favorite cartoon making Rafe chuckle slightly. "Alright, guess it's gonna be this one."
He put the cartoon on play, an arm wrapping around you to keep you close and kissing your head.
You sighed contently, mumbling sleepily from behind your paci. "Lub you Rafey..."
"I love you more, baby."
                                       ⭒𖥸⭒
Taglist
for everything:
@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @aagn360 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @fluffyblanketgecko @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse @kissforvoid
Crossed out are the ones I somehow can't tag!
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your-pal-dei · 17 days
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new apple product just dropped: IHurt
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went out in the sun yesterday and it made me register just how pale I am compared to the other people that were out
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geeneelee · 11 months
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Innocence=Politic=Skill
So we all know that Empathy looks like Dolores Dei, right? And Dolores Dei is the founder of Moralism, and Empathy is the skill that represents moralism.
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Simple.
But it goes beyond that! If we do a little digging, we can see that this pattern applies to the Perikarnassian, Communism, and Rhertoric as well!
The Greatest Innocence says of the Perikarnassian:
He's depicted as a young man with molten gold pouring out of his mouth -- all he spoke was gold.
(Side note: the Perikarnassian’s gender is not known, Franconegro just assumed they were a man).
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Rhetoric is also depicted as having... stuff coming out of his mouth, but I didn’t make the connection until the Skills were doing some name-calling.
Volition -  It was me. I made you sound weak and I shouldn't have. But *this* guy, Goldmouth, he's way in over his head. Be careful with his so-called advice.
So just like the Perikarnassian, Rhetoric has a mouth of gold. And is the Perikarnassian associated with communism? Yes!
Steban, the Student Communist -  "The theorists Puncher and Wattmann -- not infra-materialists, but theorists nonetheless -- say that communism is a secular version of Perikarnassian theology, that it replaces faith in the divine with faith in humanity's future..." 
If we take this pattern to its conclusion, then the fascist Innocence, Franconegro, should look like Endurance, and the ultraliberal Innocence (if one existed?) would look like Savoir Faire.
I don’t know what this implies about the setting, or Harry, or the narrative, but I think it’s neat. All quotes taken from Fayde!
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happeehippie · 3 months
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instagram j.b.
summary: follow joe and his fiance evie as they go through his football career.
*face claim is Yasmin Quintana*
series masterlist.
breezyevie
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liked by joeyb_9, millyg, bengals, and 367,972 others
breezyevie: pics i sent my mom this week
view all 9,736 comments…
user: im sorry what did we do to deserve this?
> breezyevie: i want to post more life stuff!
eviesmomma: i love you two!
> breezyevie: we love you mama!
user: not the love note 😢
> breezyevie: jb is the best.
user: someone needs to take away your ig. i’m sick of seeing ur bf.
> breezyevie: fiancé
joeyb_9: you look pretty everyday.. fyi.
> breezyevie: you are the loml.
user: my dream
millyg: you make me sick.
> breezyevie: envy is a disease. 🤪
user: i’m blocking you.
breezyevie
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liked by millyg, joeyb_9, eviesmomma, and 736,820 others
breezyevie: GameDey! me and mills are ready for the divisional round
view all 10,837 comments…
user: i’ll be there tailgating atleast
user: seriously how much orange do you own
> breezyevie: i don’t think i can answer.
user: let’s get it! WHO DEY
joeyb_9: make sure you bring your helmet.
> breezyevie: i’ll be ready to save the day if needed.
user: yaaaaasss my fav!
millyg: i just want to make it clear that i am an eagles/chargers fan and i don’t own cincy merch.
> breezyevie: i tried to get her to wear some of mine. she says she’s no bandwagon.
joeyb_9
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liked by breezyevie, lahjay10_, joemainmixon, and 492,936 others
joeyb_9: King in the North
view all 50,736 comments…
user: i know a gangster when i see one
user: you’re a pos.
bengals: 👑
user: the hardest post of all time
breezyevie: king of my heart. 💗
> user: the tswift reference 😭
> user: i knew i could count my queen to be a swiftie
> breezyevie: all of the best people are.. except joe. 🫠
user: joe is so fine tbh
user: joe cool.
lahjay10_: my boy 💪🏽💪🏽
breezyevie
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liked by bengals, joeyb_9, millyb, and 927,062 others
breezyevie: there is nothing i love more than watching my joey do the damn thing. #whodey
view all 6,397 comments…
user: i love him
> breezyevie: he’s just the best
user: him not posting pics of you is a red flag
> breezyevie: i’m not sure why this bothers y’all so much.
millyg: i’m obsessed with you
> breezyevie: nooo. i love you.
user: queen of the afc
> breezyevie: stop it right now!
user: be honest did you pick joes game day fit?
> breezyevie: 👀
user: how does it feel to be dating the best qb in the history of the nfl?
> breezyevie: my joey. 🧡
joeyb_9: always supporting me 🤍
user: you’re like obsessed with him.
> breezyevie: i am.
joeyb_9
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liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 1,639,388 others
joeyb_9: “Cartier glasses I won’t even peek at you”
view all 27,672 comments…
bengals: Icon
user: if you’re ever feeling down with ur busted gf let me know
> millyg: let’s respect my girl. they’ve been together for almost six years, he don’t care about you.
> user: they are engaged now, get a life.
user: jacket goes HARD
lahjay10_: you bad ass!
user: work it joe
breezyevie: best dressed qb in the league?
> joeyb_9: with a little help. 👀
user: this guy has no clue 🤣
user: i was unaware of the swag
millyg: drip
breezyevies ig stories
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AITA for making my mom’s boyfriend feel bad on purpose?
disclaimer: my parents have an open marriage
so i (20m, northern cheyenne) don’t have a problem with the modern celebration of thanksgiving.
really. i don’t.
the whole “pilgrims and indians” schtick is gross, but i find that generally, outside of elementary schools, nobody thinks about that part very much. people mostly just want to see their families and eat weird food. and i fucks w that.
the problem comes in with my mom’s boyfriend.
my mom (52f) is white, but she’s been married to my dad (53m) who is also northern cheyenne for 26 years. she’s the DEI coordinator for our county’s public school system and she’s one of my favorite most trusted shire people ever. so i never really have to censor myself around her. i can make jokes and complain and vent and etc etc etc. she’ll always listen.
her BOYFRIEND though.
i really do like my mom’s boyfriend (41m). he’s super cool, recommends good books, teaches me about plumbing, all sorts of other Manly Step Dad Shit (/hj).
but he is decidedly extremely caucasian. like so white.
he’s not /racist/ but he’s that in-between that a lot of white people are where they’re never mean, but you gotta watch what you say around them bc they bruise like a two week old apple.
there have been a few instances where i have in fact bruised his sensitive white man apple skin.
1) i was listening to a podcast with my mom about people indigenous to Hawai’i protecting Mauna Kea. we were listening to it out loud in our living room, and her boyfriend came in and listened for a few minutes before asking me to turn it off because it was “depressing”. fair enough. i figured he was having a rough day and i turned it off. (side note, it was All My Relations, “For the Love of the Mauna”.)
2) we were driving somewhere and trading off command of the AUX. i put on a song by Nahko and Medicine for the People, specifically their parody of “My Country Tis of Thee”. he again said he didn’t like it, it was depressing, and could I please turn it off. i did.
3) this is where i’m the asshole. we’re planning for thanksgiving, and i mentioned wanting to do a anticolonial thanksgiving. we’d watch some stuff about the wampanoag tribe (first contact tribe at plymouth rock), i’d make frybread and fried squash blossoms (along w my mom who would make the thanksgiving basics) we’d have a grand old time. her boyfriend asks why we can’t just enjoy thanksgiving without making it too political.
i’m like. that’s not political? it’s cultural?
and he says that to him it feels self flagellating and it would make him feel bad.
and i said honestly? the idea of thanksgiving’s history makes Me feel bad. and not to complain dude, but as an american indian, it’s always about you, and never, ever about me. so truly, i don’t care if you feel bad. we’re not doing a fucking colonized thanksgiving in this house. so if you’re just here for that sham bullshit, go and stay gone.
my mom says she agrees with me that an attempt at a decolonized thanksgiving is a good idea and a good compromise for our mixed family, but that i was way too harsh on her boyfriend and should’ve tried explaining in a kinder way first, since he’s really not educated on this stuff. i see where she’s coming from; i worry i might’ve scared him off of ever learning about cultural decolonization. ik it’s not my responsibility to make him care, but that doesn’t change the fact that plenty of white people are subconsciously looking for a reason not to care about natives, and by being a dick i might’ve just handed him that reason. so not only was i an asshole to him, but an asshole to my community at large by disservicing our reputation.
idk. i think i ruined thanksgiving :/
What are these acronyms?
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intheshadowsbehindyou · 7 months
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The Mercs react to Y/N telling them they have PTSD:
WARNING: FUCKING LONG.
Scout:
- He nods along slowly as you explain this. He might be incredibly childish and confrontational towards everyone but he’s not short of knowledge he learned in college, and personal experience. He seems to understand.
- Scout looks beyond terrified as you describe what happened to you. He doesn’t understand why something so terrible would happen to somebody with so much value.
- He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s had childhood trauma himself. He goes “My brothers weren’t nice when we were little..” He then refuses to elaborate. This was his attempt to empathize with you.
- He sits there on the side of your bed with his head in his hands. Bouncing his knee restlessly. You could’ve swore you heard a sniffle.
- He’s trying to make his emotional state unnoticeable. But it’s clear to you that he cares. The attempts to hold back his tears say it all.
- If you ask for physical comfort he won’t hesitate twice. His petite body surprisingly feels muscular. He’ll lock his arms around you in a huge hug and won’t let go. He rocks you like a small baby.
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Soldier:
- Freezes up. Like straight up goes stiff. You swear he’s cosplaying as a statue. He’s facing away from you with his hands behind his back as you explain your trauma. You can’t see his expression.
- You think he might not understand and you give up on trying to explain. But then he turns around and goes “No, private. I understand how you feel.”
- Wait what??? Not to be rude or anything but soldier isn’t exactly the brightest when it comes to certain stuff. He’s mostly focused on complete chaos of war and the mayhem he so blissfully causes to his targets. With little room for stuff like psychology. But he sounds surprisingly stoic and understanding.
- As it turns out, whilst he didn’t serve in the US army directly nor has PTSD from the war, his nazi killing spree gave him some pretty horrible insight on what tragedy can do to people. Seeing the look on your face.. It’s the same exact look that young children had when he freed them from camps. (Via blowing the camps up of course.)
- He sounds surprisingly mellow as he comforts you with hugs and reassuring back rubs. Unlike his usual loud and vibrant way of speaking. This is vulnerability you didn’t even know soldier was capable of.
- He has a deadpan look once you finally catch a glimpse of his face underneath that helmet of his. Almost distant and exhausted. He experienced empathy burnout instantaneously.
- “I’m sorry. I know.” Is all he can think of saying. Repeatedly.
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Demoman:
- He’s pissed. Not at you, but at the people who directly or indirectly caused this. You can see righteous anger flaring in his remaining eye as you explain all this baggage to him. He taps his finger on the table impatiently.
- “Bloody hell, this world has nothing but injustice after injustice. And den’ dey wonder why it’s so fucked up. oh, I don’t know lad! Maybe it’s because people like you are stupid as shit!” He goes on a rant about the people involved. He spews drunken threat after threat, waving his bottle around as he talks about all the different ways he could play jump rope with their intestines.
- He immediately drags you into a bear hug. You can hear the venom dripping off his words as he swears that nobody will ever hurt you that way again — Not on his watch. You can hear him breathing heavily against his vest. His breath sounds like a growl. He’s had explosive rage before at the enemy team (pun intended) but this seemed to be his worst yet.
- He puts his entire weight on you, and shields you with his large bulky body. It was like having a giant great dane lay across you protectively. Ready to snap at anything that came near.
- God forbid somebody actually attempts to talk to you today after this revelation. He’ll be watching them closely to ensure your mental state is at ease. The last thing you need right now is another stressor. He becomes increasingly overprotective for the first few weeks.
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Engineer:
- Similar to soldier you can’t seem to understand the expression under his goggles at first. It’s rather unreadable. He sits across from you in his workshop with his hands supporting his head in relaxed position. But as you go into more detail his body language becomes more and more tense. He stops relaxing and instead sits up in the chair and crosses his arms to self soothe.
- He pinches the roof of his nose. His head down in thought. At this rate he can’t even make eye contact with you. He’s distressed about something.
- The gears are turning in his head. “Pardner, are you tellin’ me you had all this shit on your back, and you never even thought of telling me?”
- You profusely apologize, mistaking his behavior for anger. But he’s far from angry. “Hush now, hush.” He wipes your tears away with his gloved metallic hand. You could feel the hardness of the mechanism underneath.
- He sits there with you for an extremely long time. Wrapping you in a blanket that his mom knitted him, and lovingly rubbing your tummy, sides, and back. He seems to know the surface layer concepts of comforting someone with severe trauma. He let you know he’s there, and he’s not going anywhere. That it was in the past and it will remain there.
- You are loved. He really wants you to know your value. He’s hooked on letting you know, in fact. How much you didn’t deserve such terrible things.
- He whispers kind and loving things in your ear. My god, it sounds like velvet to your eardrums. If ears could cum then yours would. His southern drawl is enticing you to relax.
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Heavy:
- Uh oh..
- Yeah, no. quite possibly more pissed than Demoman. You can tell because he’s dead silent and staring out into space with the most malicious intentions in mind. Usually an angry heavy is a loud one, but you were kinda nervous seeing the boiling kettle of a man.
- But unlike Demoman he doesn’t voice his intentions. Let’s just say whatever they are; I recommend you keep him far away from the people involved. Because they’ll likely end up the most gruesome crime scene imaginable. He doesn’t take kindly to stuff like this.
- Due to being a very family oriented person he immediately introduces you to his sisters and mother over the payphone. Because that was usually the thing that made him feel safe. His sisters immediately take a liking to you, and you can hear girlish giggling over the phone. They think you’re cute. No wonder Heavy felt so safe around them.
- “You will become like Heavy’s family. Da?” He asks. Offering you a place amongst them. He knows stuff like this calls for community. He knows it heals people. “And heavy will protect you.”
- You randomly find gifts of food on your bed stand if you have a particularly bad PTSD day. Especially honey cake. His mother always made him that whenever he was upset. They always have little notes attached to them. Small poems about self love.
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Pyro:
- Responds in a very “WHAT THE FUCK??!!” type matter. They’re disgusted and shocked. They immediately hug you without second thought and squeeze you. (A little too tightly.)
- Out of all the mercs, Pyro has to be the most outwardly emotional. They can’t stop bawling about how terrible they feel. They’re crying so much over the thought that that a delicate anomaly of nature had their heart stomped on repeatedly and destroyed.
- Their love language in this situation is nothing but physical affection and kisses. They are so worked up at this revelation that not a single word of encouragement can come out of them. They know they can’t take back what had happened to you. All they want to do is just that.
- Over the next few days, Pyro’s mourning for your mental health quickly manifests less as sadness and more as hyper caregiving. They protect you more fiercely on the battlefield and Spycheck on the regular. They seem more committed to their job and less dissociated than usual. They don’t seem very up to jokes right now.
- Pyro knows trauma is no joke. They know that full well. They become more responsible and ask their colleagues to leave you alone if you feel too stressed. They’re capable of detecting a potential flashback and immediately take you into their quarters to relax from triggers. The expression on your face says it all. You can’t hide anything from Pyro.
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Sniper:
- Shit. god dammit. Fuck.
- He’s laying in his camper van’s bed with his face staring at the ceiling. The entire time he has a look of complete dismay plastered across his face.
- Sniper isn’t exactly the most vocal Merc, but to your surprise he has a lot of things to say about this. Primarily how confused he was that someone like you could be handed such misfortune in life. At least in Sniper’s case he felt like he deserved it.
- His first initial reaction is to get your mind off it. Acknowledging your problems, he pulls out a camera from a box underneath his bed and retrieves a slide viewer. Slipping photos into it and showing you the pictures of Australian wildlife he took before entering the gravel wars. Attempting to ground you back into modern day by reminding you these animals are indeed still around.
- “Ya know, there’s animals everywhere. Isn’t it crazy to think that while we’re in here, a bloody tiger is goring a boar and whatnot? And the boar is absolutely shitting itself? Sometimes it’s hard to imagine we were part of that world once. That we’re still animals. Just really intelligent. It’s easy to mistake ourselves as unlovable gods when our nutty piss mongrel asses can’t even remember a time where we weren’t atop the food chain. We set unrealistic expectations for ourself.” He says, giving an example that everybody is worth while. (This is the same guy who kills anybody by the way.)
- “Just.. What i’m saying is that it’ll take a while for you to heal. I’m here to help with that, mate.” He mutters. He seems pretty against being emotional but it’s not like he has much of a choice in this situation. He deeply cares about you. You’re nice to him.
- There is content silence after a while. After looking through the photos by himself one last time he sighs and plops the device back into the box. You were laid neatly on him, cuddling tightly. He put one hand on your back and rubbed it. His other hand dangling off to the side.
- “S’aight mate.” He says, having no clue how to process the fact you somehow ended up atop him.
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Medic:
- He takes intrigue to your situation. He stops dissecting the specimen he was eagerly studying the anatomy of, and has two fingers on the screw of his glasses. Giving you a raised eyebrow. His curiosity is evident and you can practically hear him thinking. Moving his lips as he tried to internally go over the symptoms of PTSD listed in his brain.
- He’s not surprised that you have PTSD. At all. Somehow he suspected something was wrong the moment you joined the team. No mentally healthy person acts like you do. But that’s okay. His overanalyzing of your mannerisms and behavior seemed to have paid off.
- “Ah yes, post traumatic stress disorder is actually very common with people from your situation. It is treatable.” He says, going for the route of reassuring you this won’t be forever. Dr. Ludwig refuses to show his true emotions to you. Trying to adopt a professional demeanor. He’s losing his mind on the inside and devastated. You catch a glimpse of his smile faltering once or twice.
- For some reason as you’re talking he’s moved away from his project and began writing down notes. Something akin to what a therapist would do. You can see he’s jotting down some of your experiences and symptoms to himself.
- “What medication do you take?” “Oh. Mhm.”
- He puts the temple of his glasses between his teeth and takes his gloves off. Heading towards his pill cabinet above the sink and setting down a bottle in front of you. The label is in german and it somehow looks.. Homemade. This is a terrible idea but this is Medic we’re talking about here. A man who is capable of fixing every problem inside a human body with just a simple snap of his fingers. Maybe if you’re lucky this won’t kill you.
- The medication doesn’t kill you, luckily. It’s very similar to prozac. It’s really a flip of the coin whether or not this aids you, but in the meantime you catch him pacing around his office reading self help books and books from psychologists. He seems eager to understand you. He SWEARS he doesn’t care. He’s just — uhm — doing this by habit because he’s paid to! Yeah! Wow, he really doesn’t want you to know he cares.
- While you’re asleep in bed he periodically begins cracking your door open and taking a peak at you, to make sure you haven’t awoke from a nightmare, or are lagging behind your sleep schedule. the shine of moonlight reflecting off his glasses makes him look rather horrifying. Sometimes if he thinks you’re fully asleep he’ll sit on the bed next to your unmoving body for a while and crosses his arms, looking at the floor. Like an incredibly anxious parent would keep their baby company when sickly.
————————————————————————
Spy:
- Stands silently in the shadows of the base, you can barely see his slim figure. But you can tell he’s listening intently. Unlike the others, you’re the only one he can truly tolerate. There’s a slightly depressed expression on his face as he takes drags of his cigarette. Looking down at the ground.
- “…Pour l’amour de dieu.” (For fuck’s sake.)
- He says nothing afterwards. He lets you vent however long you like. Let out your emotions, even cry. Which you eventually end up doing. He doesn’t complain and paces a little. His eyes still at the floor. Finally after a while of hesitation he raises his arms and offers an embrace. If you choose to hug him, he will do so in what can only be described as an incredibly grandpa-like matter. Back patting, rocking, and mumbles of sweet petnames in french.
- He baby talks you. Take that as you will. He sees you as incredibly adorable individual and because of this new problem he discovered you have, he feels a sense of responsibility that he must aid it in any way he can. Especially considering this man had caused unholy amounts of trauma to people in the past.
- He asks you what you need. Where you need it, and when. How can he make this recovery process easier for you? He even politely offers to kill the people involved. Elegantly going “I assure you, if it is repent for their sins you want, I can arrange that.” Wow thanks Spy.
- Depending on the trauma, he may react more strongly to daddy issues. Prepare to hear a series of new made up slurs specifically created for your father, by yours truly! If any parents are involved in general he’s going to become sickened and repulsed. Jewel-clutching type repulsed. He bares his teeth and shrinks away. nervously fixing his tie. “Ack.. And people think I have a horrible moral compass? Not even I would do something as distasteful as that.” He hisses.
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artsyhamster · 1 year
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Decided to start drawing tarot cards (Major Arcana) with Disco Elysium characters. I have almost all of them mapped out, but let’s see if I will finish them. Will link them together if I actually do end up drawing more.
Anyway, explanations for choices underneath the cut, because I feel the need to explain myself and I actually spent a lot of time on distributing the roles hahah
(1) THE FOOL / THE MAGICIAN / THE HIGH PRIESTESS | (2) THE EMPRESS / THE EMPEROR / THE HIEROPHANT | (3) THE LOVERS / THE CHARIOT / STRENGTH | (4) THE HERMIT / WHEEL OF FORTUNE / JUSTICE | (5) THE HANGED MAND / DEATH / TEMPERANCE | (6) THE DEVIL / THE TOWER / THE STAR | (7) THE MOON / THE SUN / JUDGMENT / THE WORLD
I am going to cite this homepage first, to showcase the whole journey, because this one helped me a loooot with figuring stuff out. Will also quote a lot from there. Anyway!
THE FOOL - The major arcana represents the stages of the Fool’s journey, and since Harry is both the protagonist and a fool, this choice was a no brainer. I specifically chose his Tequila Sunset moment, because at the beginning of his journey, the fool is still oblivious to everything that is about to happen, and Tequila Sunset has Al Guhl and drugs to thank for this obliviousness.
[In the Fool’s Story, the cards appear in chronological order as he meets them, but since Disco obviously follows its own story, I can’t follow that chronological order, but I’m hoping the characters make sense anyway. :D]
THE MAGICIAN - “The Magician is the force that allows us to impact the world through a concentration of individual will and power.“ I had a hard time picking another character for this role, because to me this felt like forces coming from within the protag himself. So i chose SHIVERS and INLAND EMPIRE as representatives of Harry’s skills instead.
THE HIGH PRIESTESS - “The High Priestess is the negative side. She is the mysterious unconscious.” I guess it goes without saying, that Dolores Dei has a negative impact on Harry’s subconscious. Like THE MAGICIAN, I also see her as part of Harry, because she... is not really a person. More like a fabrication, or echoes of memories, which might even be distorted memories.
Not to go off on a tangential rant, but I love the concept of Dora, because we don’t really know her. :D All we know is what Harry remembers in his subconscious, and this might just be Harry projecting his insecurities onto this literal goddess, who echoes his insecurities back at him. 
I also wonder if Harry always had the skills or if they just appeared one day, as his mind shattered.
Anyway, see you at the next rambling.
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u3pxx · 3 months
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hey sun! sorry to bother you, but I'm currently doing a commission for a guy who wants a portrait made in the disco elusium style and I've never drawn in that style before ^^;
any tips, especially how to color?
not a bother at all! and while i'm not an expert on the disco elysium art style since i don't think i've done enough studies on it to say that i'm confident on saying what to do, i'll try my best to list out the things i've noticed while mimicking the art style. i'll split this into two parts, the composition of a portrait and the rendering and technical stuff behind it
i'll keep it under read more bc some of these portraits i'll be talking about are spoilers! whoops!
COMPOSITION
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there's like, an unbelievable amount of variety when it comes to the portraits of disco elysium! personally, when i'm trying to mimic the art style, i try and look at the portraits in the game and see which of these characters are the most similar personality-wise to the character i'm trying to draw, and then i reference
1. PERSONALITY AND GROUNDEDNESS
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let's compare the portraits of these two characters, ok? we have sylvie and idiot doom spiral. right off the bat, TOTALLY DIFFERENT VIBES, and that's good because we can instantly tell what kind of people these characters are supposed to be! and that's something disco elysium is excellent at.
sylvie's portrait is very simple; a very limited palette is used and the rendering on her is rather exact even with the rough-esque rendering that disco elysium's art uses. idiot doom spiral's portrait, on the other hand, is a lot more chaotic. there's more disorder to his portrait with how the paint strokes in the background seem to mix in with his face, there's a disheveled quality to how he's rendered.
ask yourself, how grounded is this character you're drawing? on a scale of sylvie to idiot doom spiral, how normal does their portrait look?
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now, i'm not done with this klavier but i think it's pretty obvious that i heavily referenced smoker on the balcony's portrait because they have very similar vibes and role: pretty boy npc who your protagonist may or may not be a little infatuated with pftt (there's just something so different about them! i can't put my finger on it...)
2. WHAT DO THEY STAND FOR/THE ABSTRACT
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ok! besides personality, they also have a knack for just doing some gorgeous portraits that truly reflect just, the history of a character and their role in the story. now i'm not the best at analysis so these are just gonna be some very simple observations about kim and dolores dei's portraits pftt.
the big white circle behind kim's face, besides doing an excellent job of framing kim, is very reminiscent of a nimbus which we typically see in religious art. it makes kim look like a very important figure, someone you should listen to. it's also kind of like a nod to how kim is like the few people who's like, civil and even nice to harry after his whole mind-breaking bender.
for dolores dei, GODDD i can rave about this portrait forever, it's such a favorite of mine. first, the rendering of her skin, she's like an opal or a golden statue; it's otherworldly, which makes sense because that's what harry thinks of her. and then, the splotchier and messier rendering below her, it's like she's fading away, she's just a distant memory of the past.
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i'll use this very quick doodle of apollo in the de style to explain my point about symbols better. what is it that you want to emphasize about your character? are there any motifs you'd like to show?
i definitely wanted to portray apollo as determined and even heroic-looking in this portrait. leaning into his name, added that rim-lighting as if the sun was shining on him. emphasized his badge by giving it this exaggerated shine on it and lastly, made the background like the one he has when he perceives.
3. LOCATION
for backgrounds, i feel like you can go either three ways: abstract colors, political alignment, and location.
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(i'm not happy that i have to use gary as an example here but he's the most blatant example of the second type of background AKSKSKS orz)
ok! so harry's bg, pretty funky, pretty fun. gary's bg, he's a fascist, that's the fascist flag in de. moving along trant's bg looks like a very abstract version of the wall in the building he's seen gazing at, heck, the way he's head is turned to you looks like you just called out his name and he quickly turned around to look at you but he is still very much facing the building.
more examples of those three things! garte: colors. titus: that red block is present on all union members. dicemaker: facing the window in the darkness of her workshop.
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RENDERING
de has fairly very realistic looking faces, so brush up on your knowledge of the anatomy of a face or collect many faces/portraits that look the character you're trying to draw and reference the SHIT out of them!
1. BRUSHSTROKES
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you're gonna be needing some brushes that have a texture to them ok. you're gonna need to slap those bad boys in that digital canvas and go wild ok. you can still do lineart kind of not everything is like rendered RENDERED bc some portraits make heavy use of smoother-looking black strokes to indicate lineart. ok i love you
2. PALETTES
think back to personality and symbolism, what colors are strongly associated with your character, and how grounded are they. the more normal they are the more minimal colors are used but if there's something going on with them you can go so so so wild
and also, you can eyedrop tool the colors from any of the de portraits, makes life easier pftt
3. HOW TO RENDER? HELP?
i'll go ahead and put my drawing of butch!kim here bc i basically just did a study of kim's portrait pftt. the art style is very painterly so i'm so sorry to say that you're gonna have to paint 😔 i know... i'm so sorry...
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so block your colors! block your shadows and chip away on that thang, give it dimension! don't zoom in on your canvas in the earlier stages bc you'll end up fixating on one tiny part instead of the whole painting itself, and that's gonna make the duration of your drawing so much longer lol
ok i've been writing this for way too long and i can't think anything more to add so if there's anything else you want to know that i didn't mention here, feel free to ask me again. now good luck 🫡
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