#dad stories

[futurebird]

When murders go unrecognized.

In the 60s my dad joined the national guard. He wanted to get a degree in chemistry and not end up working in the steel mill like his dad. Both of these things worked out for him. He ended up working for the EPA (which he and all his work buddies called "air pollution" for some reason, talk about bad branding)

Anyway it's the 60s and this handsome fellow is on a base for some basic training.

They got evenings on weekends off and could go into town.

On one of these hot summer weekends it's nearly the end of the camp. All of the young men were basically sick of training and things got a little wild in town with some of the young men drinking too much. My dad was in a bunk house near the gate. All of the black members of the guard were housed together. They got back just in time, being late for curfew was a big deal.

But once back in the house they noticed one young man was missing.

Let's call the missing man J.

So, my dad and his new friends in the guard are watching the gate waiting for J. to get back from town. Two hours late J. comes stumbling up the gravel drive to the little gate house. This gate house was staffed by two white guys, not much older than the new members.

They stop J. who is visibly wobbling and clearly not sober.

What everyone expected to happen was J. would get yelled at, and he might have to run laps or something the next morning. Really, curfew was a big deal, so it might be even worse than that.

But, now my dad and the other young men watched as an argument broke out. One of the white guards grabbed J. by the shirt. J. waved him off and tried to walk away. And then suddenly there was a gun shot.

J. had been shot dead!

In the house, the mood went from mild amusement at J. getting in trouble to silence. No one could hear what was being said but after some time a more senior member of the guard appeared. Medics removed J. body.

Training continued the next day as if nothing had happened.

The event was recorded as "insubordination" and "self - defense." The double insulation of the 60s and the military meant that the young man who murdered J faced no consequences. This whole incident was simply swallowed by time. But, my dad told me the story several times. Especially when stressing why you should be careful around cops, or guards or anyone with a gun and the swagger of authority.

Though, the more I think about it the more I want to go back and find out more. Maybe at least get some statements from the other witnesses. My dad claims it's impossible to do anything because, when in the military you aren't covered by the same legal protections as a citizen.

There isn't going to be any big movie or book about J. He's just another young man who disappeared.

I wonder if he had anyone to send his photo in uniform to?

#racism #stories #murder #history #US history #national guard #dad stories

[luulapants]

An Update from Anti-Gender Dad

Tumblr fame has really gone to his head. He has taken up gender studies - not the formal academic discipline, which he has no knowledge of, but his own personal study of The Genders, in his ongoing mission to make it so that knowing someone’s gender is as personal and unnecessary as knowing their shoe size. Without further ado, an email I received from him today:

Hi daughter,

I have been diving deeply, the last several days, into the subject of gender identifiers in the English language, with an eye towards whether particular identifiers could be or even should be eliminated. It's not just the pronouns, after all. I ended up studying a comprehensive list of  nouns in the English language which end in -ess (but only as a gender identifier, eliminating all the -ness words, and the oddballs like access). I came up with what I think are some interesting observations.

There are, of course, no more actresses. Everyone is now an actor. Heiresses are gradually losing favor in the probate law business. Adultresses, on the other hand, are still quite popular, especially among Red Letter A manufacturing concerns.

There are and always have been seamstresses, but I have never encountered a seamster. I have known many a teamster, and yet never a teamstress. A governess and a governor are two entirely different things.

I suspect there will always be the princess and the duchess, given the male-preferring royal primogeniture setup from whence they arise. Sorry, your ladyship, not everyone can be a duke or a baron. Though I have no problem eliminating the whole lot (yet another chapter in my quest to make the world a better place by taking it over and then handing off absolute rule to my daughter).

The hostess could easily become the host and the sorceress the sorcerer with no problem, but get this: the mistress would suddenly become...the master! Ooooh!

More to follow. Feel free to unsubscribe.

Dad

#yes he actually wrote 'hi daughter' that is how he writes emails to me #we are abolishing the monarchy because they do not fit into our post-gender society #dad stories #he gave permission for me to post this only after he edited it more carefully #he really cares what you folks think

[friend-crow]

My dad just signed off an email with, "More than this I cannot say. Indeed, I’ve said too much."

My mom, my brother and I all thought he was a secret agent at some point in his career, but now I know that he's just a dork.

#dad stories

[kipowolfton]

my dad:

*bursts into my room * "WAS THAT YOU?"

"...what?"

"making the mrmrmrmrmrmrmr sound like tryna get a cat to-"

"no."

"........I heard voices!...........................IM SANE.☝️😬" *slams door and runs away *

#dad stories #he is very drunk

[drberfarious]

My dad in his late 20s, barely awake after a long day of work at GE Capital and walking into the Chinese restaurant near his office, too tired to cook dinner.

My dad in his late 20s, a Chinese immigrant chasing the American Dream, seeing double as he looks at the menu. Suddenly, the words "egg drop soup" and "wonton soup" blend together, and he has an idea. He asks for egg drop wonton soup with green scallions, and he becomes famous at the restaurant for coming up with the dish.

My dad in his late 50s, barely standing after a long day of caring for my sick mom and walking into the Chinese restaurant he used to frequent.

The owner, seeing the same weary boy from 30 or so years ago, smiles as he askes for his famous concoction.

The owner, seeing the same weary boy from 30 or so years ago, hands him a 2-liter bottle of Coca-Cola, remembering his childish obsession with the drink that was the one constant between China and America.

My dad in his late 50s, bragging about his egg drop wonton soup as we eat it and brandishing his Coca-Cola bottle like a trophy, and the owner's right ear turns red, and he wonders who's talking about him.

#took a few creative liberties here #the whole “regular at a chinese restaurant near a ge capital office” thing is true #the whole egg drop wonton soup with green scallions thing is true #the 2-liter coke bottle is true #my dad also used to drink a lot of coke because he knew the brand from china #he's still skinny somehow #and I inherited his inhuman metabolism #dad stories #stories #anecdote #writing #my writing #immigrant stories

[guidingthulite]

today i was watching some surreal video iceberg, but it was sort of late and the guy's voice was really soothing, so i fell asleep while watching it. my dad, bless his soul, removed my headphones and closed my laptop so i could sleep more comfortably. i wake up vaguely remembering that, and i fetch my laptop to keep watching. this is what i find onscreen

the fact that my dad saw this monstrosity motion, chose not only to not question why the hell would i fall asleep to it, but did not ask me what i was watching afterwards makes me appreciate my dad more, but also worry that my hubris has gone too far

#dad stories #lmao #??? #i have been falling asleep to icebergs so often as of late #like they're talking about the horrors of the universe and i'm like ah this is it #why can't i fall asleep to more normal things. like asmr #i will not stop my hubris do not worry. i will make sure that my dad is not involved but the rest of you will not be safe

[aradiamegido]

my dad used to tell me about the one time he went out to a steakhouse with an Indian client/business partner? unclear on their relationship

but anyway the guy orders a steak and dad goes "aren't cows sacred for you?" to which the other guy replies, "Indian cows are sacred, not American cows. [turns back to the waiter] medium rare, please"

#dad stories #what a guy. i miss him

[peachfreak1750]

I love my dad more than anything but sometimes we find it hard to talk to each other. My dad is quiet and funny and I am loud with no sense of humor. We struggle to find a common ground, until recently. I love learning and wanted to learn poker when I expressed this to him he got excited and taught me how to play poker and now we are talking about it constantly. I am so happy that we have something to talk about and bond over! I love my dad so much! And also I love playing poker I am learning so much and I want to know if anyone has tricks or tips for me, right now I am playing against my dad and an Ai so nothing too difficult.

#cute story #dad stories #poker #i love my parents #learning how to play cards

[getoffmylavvn]

“Got vanilla in my diffuser and now every time I drop they smell like baked goods”.

-My dad

#dad stories

[movedunused-account]

my dad once mistook Neil Cicierega for Bo Burnham because of my lockscreen

#dad stories #oops i guess #neil cicierega #bo burhnam

[primrosebitch]

My dad is such an interesting person, like he has had such a wide variety of jobs (i'm not gonna mention them to avoid doxxing myself) but i have no clue how he managed that because he went to college then law school and then did lawyering for over 20 years so WHERE DO ALL THE OTHER JOBS FIT IN, like i know one of them was concurrent with the lawyering and one was while he was in college but the others would be very hard if not impossible to do at the same time

And then this man used to take regular all nighters playing a goddamn video without realizing that he was taking regular all nighters, he has since stopped after i pointed it out to him, but like still wtf (one time he stayed up for like 3 or 4 days straight, i don't know how he didn't pass out)

I have no doubt that if he cooked his own food he would eat like a slightly healthier college student, why am i so confident in this you ask. Because when he was making his own food he would take a raw chicken breast, microwave it till fully cooked and then eat it, he did not add anything, he ate plain microwaved chicken for lunch, he did not see anything wrong with this. To add insult to injury he is a great chef, like he's really good at making great food, but he chooses to eat like this.

He somewhat recently got really into pickle ball and i have no doubt that he would play into the a.m.'s if it wasn't for the fact that the lights at the courts turn off and that everyone else leaves then, and by really into pickle ball i mean really into pickle ball, like he bought a good scale to weigh his rackets, he bought special shoes, he got lots of other stuff that i don't know the name or function of.

He once went through a philosophy phase and got really into this one philosopher, i can't say much about this endeavor of his because i am personally very uninterested in the philosopher he liked but i can say that he knew lots about that guy and was talking about him for several months.

He reads scientific journals in his spare time, which isn't weird or anything but in combination with everything else just makes him even more baffling.

When i started drivers ed he told me about how he passed the written part of the driving test, what this man did was he didn't study he took the test, failed, looked over his answers and checked what he got right and wrong, did the test again, failed again, looked over his answers again, did the test a final time, and passed. You were only allowed to take the test 3 times, and my father basically used the first 2 tries to figure out all the answers so he didn't have to study or put in extra work, I did not follow in his footsteps to say the least.

He told this story from when he was in college, he had developed insomnia and so he went to the doctor to help and the doctor asked about if he drank caffeine like coffee or coke etc and turns out my dad had been drinking a diet coke every day in the afternoon and he didn't know that coke had caffeine in it.

Another story from college, he was at a party and was offered cocaine and he decided to taste it (for some reason?) and his entire mouth went numb from just a tiny taste and so he decided not to do the cocaine because of that, i do not understand this man (fun fact, cocaine is a local anesthetic and used to be used in medical procedures before better anesthetics were discovered, so the cocaine numbing his mouth was completely normal)

He's recently gotten into ai like chat gpt and has started to learn to code, this man has so many random skills and knowledge.

It took him 56 years to find out he has adhd, i got diagnosed years before him, i have no clue how he didn't find out sooner because he presents pretty typically (ex losing his keys and them being found in the kitchen sink, the varied interests that change semi frequently, losing track of time, losing stuff often, forgetting to do stuff like he puts stuff on the stove and then it burns because he forgot about it, etc etc), tbh i had assumed that he had adhd and it was like a known thing that just didn't come up in conversation before he came home one day saying that he just found out he had adhd.

There are probably more stories about my dad that i don't remember at this time, so i might post them if i remember them, but i hope my fathers antics entertained you, my dads great but he's also weird as hell lol

#my father #true stories #funny #dad stories #like this adhd can help explain this #but it's still insane #i can't get over how he didn't know he's was taking all nighters #how does one do that

[notherpuppet]

📻 🍎

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #radioapple #appleradio #my doods #dad x dad #dialogue based on a true story

[friend-crow]

My dad, who turned 75 yesterday, has been exploring conspiracy theories as a bit in his old age.

Not like established conspiracy theories -- just cryptic references that he drops into conversation from time to time.

"I wanted to see the mountain, but they won't let you."

"You mean it was cloudy?"

"Yes. And somebody put a hill in the way."

Or

"Mind how you go. And remember: they're out to get you," which is something he's taken to telling me every time I leave my parents' house.

#dad stories

[kipowolfton]

my dad just told me that when he was a kid and he would be finished with a model airplane or he would get a new one to build he would FUCKING MELT THE OLD ONE and he told me this because I showed him a bunch of little people and a dog I made from sculpting with scrap wax and he told me I should melt them like dude wtf

no matter he turned out the way he did 😭

#dad stories

[please-send-ufo]

My dad is friends with Henry Selick's sister, they went to high school together. He's in a group chat with her on his phone. I told him who Henry Selick was and he was like, oh that guy, yeah he was an alright guy. And carried on like he hadn't dropped a bomb on me.

(The Nightmare Before Christmas is my fav movie)

#nightmare before christmas #dad stories #he honestly had no idea he knew someone famous #he has a million stories and they're all just as bizarre

[thelesbododo]

Just remembering the time my dad told me that once when he was 19 the girl he was on a date with was stolen by a member of his favorite band in a golf cart

#She wasn't kidknapped #Lol #Dad stories