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The Howling of Ghosts

Golden Bomber Fanfiction

Note: This one is for Jun’s birthday today! (^-^) I was a bit troubled by this one, since I wanted to write about Kyan Yutaka x Kiryuuin Shou mostly, but also wanted to give Jun some space for his bday. But then I remembered how scared Jun is of ghosts and stuff when I saw their monthly broadcast lately, where they had to walk through the dark alone and Kenji got up so casually to give Jun a scare - like it was the most obvious thing in the world that they had to prank him, haha. So, yes, this story is about Jun getting a birthday-scare :D

At the night of August 30th, the howling of ghosts resounded in the woods.

„I’m scared“, Shou said.

Kyan Yutaka did not believe him.

“Don’t act so whiny”, he scolded him and pointed the flashlight right at Shou’s face.

“Oi!”, Shou protested and tried to slap the light away while squinting his eyes. His face looked even funnier when he did.

“This was a stupid idea”, Shou added, still sounding whiny.

Yutaka lowered the flashlight, trailing the light down Shou’s bare arms, his back leaning against the tree behind him and his legs pulled up as if he tried to make himself as small as possible.

He looked lost and like he was freezing.

“You cold?”, Yutaka asked.

He thought of wrapping his arms around Shou tightly, of keeping him warm and safe and close to himself.

“Yeah.” Shou nodded and looked up at Yutaka expectedly.

“Well, then you should have taken a jacket, idiot!”, Yutaka said.

He pushed up the sleeves of his own t-shirt to move his arms around more freely.

Sure, he could have been kinder on Shou. In fact, Yutaka was quite the gentleman, if he wanted to be. With Shou, he didn’t want to be, though.

“I didn’t plan to spend all night out here. What’s taking them so long?”, Shou pouted.

Yutaka shrugged nonchalantly.

He disliked it when Shou’s voice got so high-pitched and loud. He was asking for attention too desperately.

“Jun probably didn’t want to walk into the woods in the middle of the night. You know him. He thinks we might prank him.”

“To be fair - we are going to prank him”, Shou pointed out. “Also, he is scared of other things than us I guess.”

“Like what?”

Yutaka furrowed his brow. Just like Jun and Shou, he had grown up in the city. The woods at night weren’t familiar territory for him either, and he had to admit he would have felt more comfortable in a shady back alley right now, but still the darkness had nothing to offer that scared him more than the way he felt his own heartbeat whenever Shou smiled.

“Ghosts”, Shou said. “Spirits, bugs.”

Yutaka snorted.

“In that order?”, he assured.

Shou pursed his lips and for a moment he looked nothing but annoyed – not scared, not lost, just disapproving.

Yutaka’s chest warmed up immediately. He loved those short seconds when Shou dropped his act and his strength shone through.

Shou was insecure about a lot of things. He was anxious about his physical appearance, about how to talk to people, about being honest with his feelings. And at some point of his life – before Yutaka had even met him – he had obviously decided to play out his anxiety in a cute, helpless way. Where he was clumsy, he acted as if he needed help with everything. Where he was uncomfortable in a dark forest, he acted scared to death and as if he needed protection. Yutaka noticed that it grew worse when they were alone together and he had noticed that Shou had acted that way around every person he had ever dated. He seemed convinced that the pity card was the only card he could play to become attractive to someone.

But cute and helpless was never the way Yutaka had viewed him. Shou was the kind of person who could achieve anything they had set their mind onto. At the dark of night, away from the city, Yutaka didn’t feel the need to protect Shou. If anything, it was Shou who would save him over and over again.

A sudden noise to his right stirred up the silence.

Shou let out an over-the-top squeal.

“Scary”, he mumbled, crossing the arms in front of his chest.

He was looking at Yutaka again as if he was expecting some sort of comfort from him.

“What … what is it?”, Yutaka teased, letting his hand holding the flashlight tremble.

The circle of light bounced across the rustling leaves of a bush nearby.

This was the moment for Yutaka to show off in front of Shou a little. He knew that Shou wanted him to show off.

Usually, Yutaka liked to show off in situations like these himself and he had been guilty of doing it a couple of times before. “I’ll protect you”, “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything hurt you”. Shou’s whole act indicated that he wanted to hear those sentences and it would be so easy to just say them. After that, it would be easy to take hold of Shou’s hand and it would be easy to kiss him afterwards. They would follow a ritual established over long years.

“Oh, mighty spirits!”, Yutaka called out. “I beseech thou – take him first!”

He wasn’t going to follow some ritual, though.

Shou chuckled. His face wrinkled up and he lowered his arms. He looked more relaxed instantly.

“Well, thanks a lot”, he said.

Encouraged, Yutaka took a step towards the bush that had rustled only moments ago.

“I don’t think there is anything …”, he started, breaking off and letting himself fall to the ground without warning, dropping the flashlight.

In his music career, falling to the ground was one of the things Yutaka had brought to perfection.

He still hurt his left elbow.

He rolled around the dirty ground, staining his clothes completely. Then he robbed backwards towards the bush, pretending to be pulled into it.

“It got me, Shou, it got me!”, he shouted, grabbing for a stick on the ground and smashing it into the bush to defend himself against an invisible attack. Leaves were raining down on him.

Yutaka was aware that he was making a total fool out of himself. He probably looked ridiculous and not very convincing at that. But if only it made Shou smile, it was worth it.

Shou acted like a princess waiting to be saved by her knight in shining armour. But Yutaka knew better. Shou was a warrior king and Yutaka ready to apply as his court jester. He loved the sound of his laughter.

Yutaka slashed out with his stick once more, before struggling to his feet again.

Threateningly he shook his fist at the bush.

“No need to worry, I showed this bastard”, he told Shou.

“I feel so safe with you”, Shou stated dryly. “If a tree attacks, I know you can defend it.”

Yutaka chuckled.

Shou had spoken sarcastically. He wasn’t speaking for an audience now, he wasn’t trying to act cute, either. He was just mocking Yutaka without caring about how he came across.

Yutaka bend down and picked up the flashlight from where he had dropped it earlier.

“They should be here soon”, he observed. “We should switch off the light.”

Shou nodded and smacked his lips. It was just a small reaction that proved he wasn’t happy about the idea of entire darkness. But he did not protest and did not whine. He wasn’t causing a fuss, but Yutaka could tell he would have preferred to keep the light on nonetheless. It was just a small insecurity, not quite strength, but not a show for anyone to see either. It was so real and honest, that for a second, Yutaka wanted to bend down and kiss Shou right on the lips.

He was crazy about the real Shou. Unfortunately, Shou did his best to keep that version of himself locked away constantly.

“It’s okay”, Yutaka said vaguely, trying to soothe Shou now that he hadn’t turned to him for soothing.

He sat down on the ground as well, leaning his back against the tree next to Shou. Their arms were brushing against each other lightly. Shou’s skin felt cool. Yutaka wished he had taken a jacket to lend it to him. He had no constancy when it came to Shou. One moment he wanted to bring out his strong side and the next, he wanted to spoil him and allow him to be weak with him always. Sometimes, he wanted both at once.

“I’m going to turn off the light”, he announced, his thumb already lingering on the switch. But he couldn’t bring himself to push it.

If the light was gone, it would be just the darkness; the darkness and Shou. It would be the two of them and in the dark Yutaka would sense his body so close next to himself and he would feel his own heartbeat too fast and too loud and his mouth would feel dry. No ghost haunting those woods could be scarier than this.

“It’s okay.” This time, it was Shou who said it. He didn’t sound teasing and he didn’t sound scared. He sounded like the person Yutaka trusted more than anything.

He reached out and placed his hand over Yutaka’s holding the flashlight.

In the end, Yutaka wasn’t sure whom of them had turned the switch. But suddenly it was dark around them. It was the kind of dark you didn’t get in the city. Even if he looked directly at him, Yutaka could not make out Shou’s profile.

He could still sense Shou’s hand on his own, though.

For the first time tonight, Kyan Yutaka felt scared.

***

“I mean, I do appreciate that you guys treated me to this trip”, Jun said.

He did not appreciate it at all.

For his birthday present, he could have imagined something better than spending his only free days in between public appearances at some godforsaken hotel with his bandmembers.

“I do love spending time with you guys on my birthday”, Jun continued.

He would have preferred to be home right now. With his family.

“But do we really have to …”, he gestured towards the trees in front of them.

Jun wasn’t a friend of nature. At least, not nature in the dark.

“Come on, Jun”, Kenji said. “We have a special surprise for you, but we have to walk up there.”

Jun could imagine all too well what that surprise would look like.

They would make him walk through the forest at night with nothing by his side but Kenji and a flashlight. And then they would prank him by giving him a scare. And although Jun saw it coming, he would scream and maybe even cry, because there always was the chance that this time – just this time – it wasn’t Shou and Yutaka jumping out from behind a tree.

Jun hadn’t chosen to be superstitious and he hadn’t chosen to be scared so easily. But that did not stop his bandmembers from taking advantage of it.

They would probably record it on video as well and then they would share his silly screams all over the internet, having a good laugh at it.

Jun wished he was as indifferent to the dark as Kenji or that at least his screams were just a little fake like those of Shou and Yutaka. Knowing he at least had done it on purpose to please the audience would restore some of his dignity. But Jun was far too scared to fake either bravery or fear. All he could do was try his best to hold back the tears.

“Can’t you give me the surprise down here?”, Jun asked and gestured over to the brightly lit windows of the hotel behind them.

They were still so close that they didn’t really need the flashlight yet, but Jun was already feeling uncomfortable.

Human beings weren’t supposed to roam the forest at this time of night. At this hour, it belonged to otherworldly beings. Jun had thought everyone knew about that. Just his bandmembers didn’t seem to care.

“No, we can’t”, Kenji chimed happily.

He was walking so confidently his steps were almost bouncing. Jun wished he would slow down. He wasn’t in a hurry to get away from the hotel any further.

He wondered why he was following Kenji to begin with. He knew that it was going to be a prank – and none that would end nicely for him.

But deep down, Jun still believed in Golden Bomber. He believed that no matter how cruel his bandmembers treated him from time to time, that really, they valued his contribution and that some day they would express how much they appreciated Jun. Maybe that day was today. Maybe they had changed and instead of playing a mean joke on him, they just wanted to express their love and admiration.

Chances weren’t high, admittedly, but Jun felt like he ought to give them the opportunity to prove themselves at least. He had given them plenty of opportunities already.

Leaves rustled under his shoes as they walked on. Every noise they created made Jun want to flinch.

“Kenji?”, he asked.

The light from the hotel had vanished completely by now. The path before them was illuminated by the flashlight, but Kenji was just a silhouette in the dark.

“Don’t worry, Jun”, Kenji said casually.

Jun wondered how Kenji managed to stay so calm in such a sinister environment. Maybe it came from growing up on the countryside. Maybe Kenji was just fearless.

Something like the far-away echo of a human voice rang out suddenly.

This time, Jun did flinch. He whimpered.

“Someone is screaming”, he said.

“I didn’t hear anything”, Kenji said.

Jun assumed he was lying. Or his own nervous senses were already playing tricks on him.

“Maybe someone got attacked”, he pointed out.

Kenji snorted.

“By what? A tree? A bush? Those are the only things out here.”

The sound came back, Jun was sure of it.

He had to control himself violently to not cling to Kenji’s back. If there were ghosts in this forest, even Kenji wouldn’t be able to protect him.

“Oh fuck”, Kenji said all of a sudden.

Alarmed Jun turned around.

“What?”, he asked.

“I forgot my phone. I’m not sure I will find the right spot without it”, Kenji said, percussing the pockets of his pants demonstratively. “I will have to get it.”

“Great, we can go back”, Jun said, trying not to sound too relieved. Having to go all the way back was bad enough already.

“No, no, I will get it myself”, Kenji said. “You just wait here.”

Jun let out a nervous laughter, just to cover up how close he was to crying.

“No way”, he protested.

“You can just continue to walk up the path”, Kenji offered. “I’ll catch up to you.”

“No!”, Jun said and walked after Kenji, who now took a few steps backwards.

“I’ll be back in no time”, Kenji said, but Jun reached out to take hold of his arm.

“Don’t you dare to leave me here!”, he shouted.

Kenji took back another step, avoiding Jun’s grasp. He also switched off the flashlight.

All of a sudden, it was dark around them. In the city, it never got this dark, Jun thought. In this kind of darkness, you lost orientation immediately.

He stumbled forwards, his arms held out in front of him to eventually catch Kenji, but all he met with was empty space.

“Kenji?”, he called out. “Kenji?!”

For a moment he listened.

They had created so much noise while walking up here, but now there wasn’t even the sound of Kenji’s footsteps. He could trot as lightly as a cat, if he wanted to.

Hot pressure started to burn behind Jun’s eyelids, but he swallowed hard to fight it back.

He felt lonely and vulnerable. Whatever lured in these woods, Jun was defenceless against it now. Kenji hadn’t even left him the flashlight. It was scary and it was cruel. Once more, Jun’s bandmembers had let him down.

As quietly as possible – to not stir anything or anyone tonight – Jun sat down on the ground. He wasn’t going to walk around here alone. He would just wait for Kenji to come back. Or for the sun to come up. Whatever happened first.

Slowly, his eyes started to adjust to the darkness. He still couldn’t make out anything, but the night seemed to tone down to a normal black with different shades and shadows in it.

Jun took in another deep breath. He was beginning to calm down.

That was when the ghosts started their howling.

***

“It’s so dark”, Shou muttered, pulling back his hand from Yutaka’s. He had already held on to it for far too long.

Fact was that he didn’t want to let go. Holding on to Yutaka felt soothing and like he was safe with him; even in the dark of night.

“It’s the middle of the night. We’re in the woods. Darkness really comes unexpected here”, Yutaka said dryly.

His voice sounded louder in the dark. Maybe because Shou was listening more closely, or maybe because Yutaka tried to cover up some insecurities of his own.

“Oh, shut up”, Shou said, shoving his shoulder against Yutaka next to himself. He liked the feeling of their arms brushing against each other. Yutaka’s skin was always warm.

“Mmh”, Shou gave a low hum. The sound of his own voice calmed him down. If he concentrated on the humming, he couldn’t listen to worrisome sounds from the woods.

He thought of something to say, but everything he usually had to offer in such a situation would bounce off Yutaka for sure.

If Shou told him he was scared, Yutaka would scold him to man up. If he asked for protection, Yutaka would hand him a stick to protect himself.

Of course, Shou did not feel like he needed protection.

But he thought it would feel nice, if Yutaka tried. He could wrap his arm around Shou and whisper soothing words into his ear. It wouldn’t matter what he said, it would be about the gesture and the intimacy.

Shou had always liked Yutaka best of all the members. He had liked him best of pretty much all the people in the world. He was handsome and charming and funny and Shou had dropped quite a few hints over the course of time.

But no matter how obvious he made it for Yutaka to act upon it, he hadn’t reacted to it at all.

“I’m worried we’re taking it too far”, Shou said quietly. “It’s really scary out here.”

He reached out again, putting his hand onto Yutaka’s lower arm. It was meant to look like a joke; as if he just wanted to emphasize his words by clinging to him. Really, he just wanted to touch Yutaka’s arm.

Shou liked to hold on to someone. He viewed himself as the kind of person who would be scared and who needed protection. Because he was tired of trying so hard for everything. He wanted to be spoiled, he wanted to be held tightly by someone as handsome as Yutaka and feel like allowing the other one to be strong was enough to make himself loveable.

“He’ll be fine”, Yutaka said.

As usually, he spoke quite coldly. Shou pulled back his hand again.

“How will we even know Jun is close?”, he asked, letting annoyance drip into his voice now.

He was annoyed that he was always the one reaching out to Yutaka; that he was always the one making offers and that it was leading him nowhere.

Sometimes, he just wanted to pick a fight with Yutaka, because he got angry at him for not wanting to be Shou’s saviour.

“We’ll know when we hear him sobbing”, Yutaka stated.

He spoke matter-of-factly and it was his seriousness that made Shou laugh in spite of himself. Yutaka was an idiot. An idiot who always said the wrong things and who always said the right things nonetheless.

Shou had always thought he would be happy once someone held him unconditionally, that he would be happy if someone allowed him to be weak. But he had been held like that before and he had had partners who had allowed him to be weak as well. It had felt nice. But he wasn’t sure if he had actually been happy.

Whenever Yutaka made him laugh, however, Shou’s chest felt bubbly and hot and he wished he could stop time to always feel this light.

It made him feel angry at Yutaka, because those emotions didn’t match with the person as whom Shou liked to view himself. It also made him feel overjoyed, though. It was confusing.

He let out a high-pitched sigh that turned into a groan towards the end.

Something hit the top of his head.

“What are you doing?!”, Yutaka scolded. He sounded slightly amused, though.

“I’m practicing scary noises”, Shou replied with his best ghost voice.

“If you ever get tired of doing music, I’m sure they’ll hire you at a chamber of horrors”, Yutaka said.

“I got the voice?”, Shou asked back in his normal tone.

“You got the face, too”, Yutaka said.

“Oi!”, Shou shouted and shoved against Yutaka’s shoulder again.

He reached out into the dark. His eyes had adjusted to the night and very vaguely, he could make out the shape of Yutaka’s body. He tried to take hold of his hands, but didn’t find them immediately.

“Give me the flashlight!”, he inquired.

“You’re still scared of the dark?”, Yutaka teased, moving against him, probably to get the flashlight out of Shou’s reach.

Shou’s hands were brushing over Yutaka’s thighs and up his chest, still groping for the flashlight.

“No, I just want to punch you with it!”, Shou replied and Yutaka started laughing.

Only when Yutaka’s body started shaking against his, did Shou realize how close he had gotten to him unintentionally.

If he was honest, making Yutaka laugh caused the warm, bubbly feeling in his chest, too. He felt like wanting to stop time again.

“Hey”, Yutaka suddenly said quietly.

His voice was very close. His body felt so warm, Shou couldn’t pull back. For a moment, he didn’t care about the darkness and about the cold and about the wood and the spirits and the ghosts and the bugs and Jun and Kenji and really anything at all. He only cared about Yutaka’s voice so close to him and his hand suddenly on Shou’s neck and his own heartbeat. Then he leaned in and forgot about those things as well, because Yutaka’s lips were soft and warm like everything about him. They curled up against Shou’s mouth as if he was smiling into the kiss and Shou felt the unreasonable need to giggle.

This was what it felt like, he realized. Being happy.

He pulled back a little, his hands clinging onto the fabric of Yutaka’s shirt without Shou being able to recall when he had grabbed it.

In the far distance something like a shout resounded.

It sounded suspiciously like a human voice – calling out Kenji’s name.

“Did you hear that?”, Shou whispered half-heartedly.

He could imagine a lot of things more fun than going out to look for Jun right now. All of them started with kissing Yutaka again, but most didn’t stop there.

“Just faintly”, Yutaka mumbled back, pulling Shou in again. “Must be the howling of ghosts.”

***

Kenji hadn’t walked back all the way to the hotel.

He had just trotted down the path for a while, before turning back again.

According to the plan, Jun had stumbled farther along the path until he eventually ran into Shou and Yutaka, who would give him a mighty scare – which they recorded on their mobile phones of course.

Once Jun had calmed down, Kenji would sneak up onto the group and repeat.

He had to admit, though, that the plan wasn’t quite bulletproof.

It had been difficult enough to leave Jun behind earlier. He had proven to be clingy. It was possible he hadn’t followed the path at all. Maybe he had tried to return to the hotel on his own. Maybe the ghosts had gotten him. Maybe he had been lost in the forest. Maybe, they would have to go look for Jun’s dead body in the morning.

And even if this part of the plan had worked out, there was still the possibility that Shou and Yutaka had missed their entry. Leaving the two of them alone together in the dark hadn’t been the brightest idea, had they asked Kenji. They tended to get distracted by each other easily, to put it nicely. Sometimes, it was torture to watch them prowling around each other with neither of them finally making a move. Kenji’s worst fear was, that once they decided to make a move – it would be bad timing.

Quietly, he walked up the path again, careful not to create any unnecessary noise. He had to keep the flashlight switched off as well, if he didn’t want Jun to notice him. Kenji didn’t mind much, though. He wasn’t afraid of the dark and his natural balance kept him from tripping on the uneven ground.

He was about to reach the point where he had left Jun behind. For a moment, Kenji paused.

If he listened really closely, he could hear soft rustling and small inhales now and then.

Kenji stomped down hard to create some noise.

“Kenji?”, Jun’s voice came out of the dark. He sounded like he was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Kenji inhaled deeply, too. Jun hadn’t moved a bit.

“Yes, it’s me”, he confirmed and switched the flashlight on.

Jun was sitting on the ground, a mess of ripped leaves on his lap. Obviously, he had torn them up to keep his hands busy.

“Sorry to make you wait”, Kenji said and sat down next to Jun.

He was keeping the light away from his face as to not blind him, but he could see how the corners of his mouth were wrinkled up and his lips were trembling as always when Jun tried to fight back tears.

Kenji felt sorry they had put him through this - and wouldn’t even get a funny video in return.

“Idiot”, Jun said and boxed against Kenji’s chest.

Kenji did not protest. He deserved it.

“Actually, Shou and Yutaka were supposed to give you a scare”, Kenji said.

“I figured.” Jun folded his hands on his lap, right on top of the crumpled leaves. Kenji knew how much he hated to get his clothes dirty. The sight was even more touching therefore.

“Maybe they didn’t find you”, Kenji offered.

“Oh, I did get a scare alright”, Jun said, speaking hastily and excited now, so his lisping shone through more violently.

Kenji looked at him questioningly. With the flashlight pointing away from his face, Jun could probably not see it, but Kenji banked on the fact that he would continue talking anyway.

“There, can you hear that?”, Jun asked, raising his index finger to signal for Kenji to listen attentively.

At first, Kenji thought that Jun, who was so easily frightened, had been imagining things.

But then he heard it too.

It sounded almost like human voices, but faint and strange. It wasn’t someone talking, but something more animalic; guttural sounds that could only be born in this kind of haunted nights.

“It’s the ghosts howling”, Jun said seriously.

Kenji stayed silent to listen some more.

His first thought had been ghosts, too, but he wasn’t quite sure if howling was really the right term. It rather sounded like moaning and sighing.

“Or something even scarier”, Jun added meaningful.

Kenji glanced at him.

Jun looked as if he didn’t want to spend more thoughts on the second option. He also looked exhausted and distraught.

Kenji decided that Jun had been through enough for tonight.

“You are right”, he said soothingly. “I’m sure it’s the howling of ghosts.”

#Golden Bomber #utahiroba jun #Kiryuuin Shou #Kyan Yutaka #Darvish Kenji #kirikyan #fanfiction #fanfic #Happy bday jun #and happy bday t-san of course

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