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#cop abbacchio
fuckmachine42069 · 7 months
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stupid so so stupid golden wind doodles, featuring most importantly trish meat dress !!!!!!
details under the cut :33
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the stupidest bruabba i think i’ve ever drawn
like idk what it is about the lin manuel miranda pose that screams bruno to me
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mfdragon · 2 months
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My friend @ciipher-arts has a JoJo rot and I have a One Piece rot, so we got to talking and I made this crossover au thingie ✨
It’s just two Italian men talking about their problems, while the kids are playing in the background 👌🏻
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costulata · 3 months
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I absolutely hate but love this thing I made
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Photo
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Mall cop Abbacchio
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xochy · 1 year
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I saw someone point out that the question is actually asking about passione yknow the whole organization as opposed to just Bruno’s team only. And I’m still gonna act like that’s the case but imagine. Imagine.
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pipartuuli · 1 year
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what if the first thing I posted in 2023 was completely self-indulgent?? hmmm
anyway, present day drug task force Abba or something idk, he's about to bust Diavolo lol
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mrlowell · 7 months
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The morning after.
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lady-wallace · 7 months
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Whumptober Day 9 - "Wrong Place, Right Time" (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)
Today's whumptober prompt is the first part of a 2-parter (the 2nd part will be up on the 18th) This is set pre-series and explores the idea that Bucciarati and Abbacchio met when Abbacchio was still with the police. 
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Prompts Used: Polaroid, Mistaken Identity Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5 Character: Abbacchio
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Read on Ao3
Read on FF.net
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Bucciarati wiped the blood from his knuckles as he left the groaning man on the floor of the office where the Soldati he had come with surrounded him. If this man did not learn his lesson about dealing behind Polpo's back in the capo's own territory, then the next time, there would be more than a beating coming his way.
New gangs had been popping up in the area, boldly going up against Passione since Polpo had been put in prison and the Capo had commanded Bruno and a team of hand-picked Soldati to search them out and send a warning. The Capo did not tolerate anyone encroaching on his territory, especially now when he couldn't make an example himself.
Thus, that's where Bruno Bucciarati came in; too young to be as feared as he was. Swiftly becoming Polpo's most trusted confidant, seeing that his direct orders came to fruition.
"Come. Our job here is done for the night," Bruno called to the other men as he left the office and made his way through the club.
When he got outside, he frowned when he realized the rest of the men who had come with him were no longer at their post outside the club.
"Now where the hell could they all have gone?" he muttered under his breath.
One of the Soldati suddenly came around the corner. "Bucciarati! We found a straggler, one of the men from the picture!"
Bucciarati made his way with the man to the alley behind the club where he could hear the sounds of a struggle and muffled shouting.
He frowned, hurrying over to where the rest of the Soldati were currently surrounding a figure, two shoving him roughly against the wall of the club, holding him there as the others began to beat him viciously.
"What's this?" Bruno demanded.
The man tried to struggle away from the Soldati but one of the men grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face down against his knee before he drove a vicious kick into the man's stomach, making him collapse with a gag.
One of the men left the group to come over to Bruno. "We found him skulking around. He matches the picture of one of the bastards we're after, right?"
Brow furrowing as the sounds of the beating, continued. Bruno dug into his pocket to pull out the polaroid he'd been given—the only real evidence they had of their rivals. Three men standing in front of a warehouse in a drug deal—two dark-haired men and one with silver hair.
Bruno glanced over at the figure his men were still doing their best to beat into the ground before looking back at the photo. "Hold on, does he have a scar on his face?"
The man seemed to be unconscious by this point, body jerking limply now with every blow.
"Enough!" Bruno snapped, shoving the Soldati aside to crouch beside the unconscious figure. He cringed as he saw how much blood was on the man's face, smearing in the dark makeup he'd been wearing, but there was very obviously not a scar from the corner of his eye to his jawline.
Bruno clicked his tongue in annoyance. "You idiots! This isn't even the right man."
"Then why the hell was he hanging around here at night?"
Something caught Bruno's eye, glinting in the light of a nearby streetlamp and he reached for the wallet that must have fallen out of the man's pocket during the beating. As he turned it over, his blood went cold, seeing the golden badge and credentials that denoted that this man wasn't even just some innocent bystander, but was, in fact, a cop.
"You damned idiots!" Bruno snarled at his men as he stood up, holding up the wallet. "He's a cop. You just beat up a cop!"
"This punk?" one of the men nudged the unconscious man incredulously.
Bruno grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him backward. "Apparently, yes!"
"So what?" one of the Soldati shrugged. "We'll just leave him here. It's too dark for him to have seen any of us clearly."
"Brilliant plan," Bruno muttered sarcastically. "No, I'll do the damage control because you all obviously cannot be trusted to do anything." He snarled at them and they inched away. "Polpo will be hearing about this hack job. Someone bring the car around."
They left, one man spitting in annoyance. Bruno marked who it was and glanced back at the unconscious man—the unconscious cop—at his feet. He glanced back at the officer's credentials, seeing the ID card that identified him as a Leone Abbacchio. The fresh-faced young man on the picture made Bruno realize that this Officer Abbacchio may not be much older than he was. Though he was certainly a little worse-for-wear right now thanks to Bruno's incorrigible goons.
He huffed an annoyed breath, pocketing the badge and looked up as the Soldati pulled up with the car. He went to retrieve the keys and dismissed the rest of the men.
"Go home. We'll let our warning sink in and proceed from there."
By the time Bruno got back to the injured man he was stirring slightly, letting out a soft groan. Bruno wasted no time in reaching down and heaving him up. The man was quite a bit taller than he was, but Bruno still managed to maneuver him up and into the passenger seat of the car.
At least until the man started to struggle.
"G-geddoff," he croaked, trying to pull away from Bruno's grip.
"Don't fight," Bruno commanded. "We're just going to take a drive."
He dumped the man in the seat and went through the rest of his pockets to make sure he didn't have any weapons. It seemed like Officer Abbacchio was indeed off duty though because he only had his wallet and credentials on him. The man tried to fight him off, but he was weak and disoriented, likely suffering a concussion. He slumped instead against the dashboard with a tired groan, and Bruno gingerly pushed him back and closed the door before getting into the driver's seat.
Once in the car, he realized he didn't know what he was going to do. What exactly did damage control look like in this instance? The most logical thing would be to drop him off at a hospital or the police station, but he could hardly allow his face to be seen at the station, and the hospital staff would undoubtedly identify him to the police if he dropped the man off there.
Bruno swore under his breath as he glanced over at the unconscious police officer currently bleeding into the upholstery. His last idea was perhaps even more stupid than the others, but it was the only option where he could make sure he controlled the situation entirely.
After all, he did say he was doing damage control.
XXX
Fugo was not amused when Bruno called him down to the car to help him drag an unconscious cop up to their apartment.
"Why the hell did you bring him here? You think he won't say anything?"
"He's not even awake at the moment and I can always blindfold him on the way out."
Fugo grunted, shaking his head as they got their guest into the apartment and deposited him onto the couch.
"I'll get the first aid kit," Fugo said in resignation.
Bruno took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves. Now in the light, Officer Abbacchio looked a hell of a lot worse, bloody nose, split lip, one eye nearly swollen shut. Bruno tsked under his breath, annoyance at his trigger-happy co-workers resurfacing. Of course they couldn't be bothered to check for clearly identifying marks, and now he had an unconscious cop on his couch in his apartment. And maybe Fugo had a point.
Fugo returned and put their hefty medical box down next to the couch.
"Help me?" Bruno asked as he started to try and tug Officer Abbacchio's coat off.
Fugo huffed and helped Bruno prop him up to remove the item, revealing a blood-stained black t-shirt which Bruno then peeled up, revealing a mess of bruises and potentially cracked ribs.
"Stupid bastards," he muttered.
Fugo clicked his tongue. "He should be in a hospital, Bucciarati."
"I can't risk being seen taking him there."
"You couldn't have left him where he was and called in an anonymous tip to the station?"
Bruno pressed his lips together. "He's here now. It doesn't matter."
"You do realize he'll see your face. Mine too, for that matter."
"With one eye and a concussion? I doubt he'll remember specifics," Bruno replied confidently and got up to find a towel which he wet to start cleaning up the blood.
Worst case scenario, the man would try to figure out who he was and Bruno would evade him—hopefully. Best case, Officer Abbacchio might be grateful and leave Bruno be. And if that were the case, then it wouldn't necessarily be bad to have a cop in his pocket, especially one that owed him.
XXX
Abbacchio swam up through the darkness to a clash of red pain assaulting him. He had the distinct recollection that he was in danger, that he needed to fight. His fists clenched at his sides as he shifted.
Something dug into his ribs and he gasped, prying his eyes open and striking blindly at whatever it was.
"Easy!" a voice called from close by. "You're not being assaulted anymore. I'm just trying to assess the damage."
Abbacchio groaned and blinked, trying to focus on anything, vision blurry. "The hell…?" he croaked, trying to get up.
"I would suggest lying down, you have at least two cracked ribs and possibly a concussion."
Before Abbacchio could process that news, a light was shoved directly into his face and he winced, pulling away with a curse.
"Actually, definitely a concussion," the voice continued with a sigh.
"Who are you?" Abbacchio grunted, uneasy. He tried to look around again, expecting maybe a clinic, but from what he could tell, it appeared he was lying on someone's couch. "Where are we?"
"You can call me Bruno, and you are currently in my apartment. I apologize for my friends—they were a little too overzealous and didn't pay attention to the details."
Whatever that was supposed to mean. Abbacchio cringed. The man in question, Bruno, began to come into focus. A blur of white and black and blue took shape into a very young man in a white suit with a sharply cut black bob.
"Your friends?"
"Yes, officer. I promise they will be punished for their lapse in judgement."
Wait…officer? Did he know…?
Abbacchio felt around himself for his coat, but he was no longer wearing it, which meant that his badge was also no longer on him and this man had it.
"Where are my things?" he demanded.
"Just over there."
Abbacchio pushed himself up, ignoring the surge of dizziness and the pounding in his head. "I'm leaving. And you're coming to the station with me to explain about your friends."
"I wouldn't—"
He tried to stand and instantly felt pain clash through his skull, causing him to wobble and his knees to give out. He collapsed but Bruno caught him with a surprising amount of strength, pushing him back down onto the couch.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Officer Abbacchio," Bruno said firmly. "You are free to leave at any time, however I would highly suggest you stay put until you can at least walk."
Abbacchio shook, both in fury and anxiety. "You're a mafioso," he spat. "Aren't you?"
"Yes. And you're a cop," Bruno replied simply. "And yet I took it upon myself to bring you back to my home and tend to your injuries."
"What do you want?" Abbacchio demanded.
Bruno sat down on the coffee table in front of him. "Nothing. You can explain the events of the night however you want. I would never ask you to lie, officer."
Abbacchio narrowed his eyes at him, head still pounding too much to think about this right now. He supposed that if this mafioso wanted him dead he could have just left his men to finish him off in the alley. And, while it infuriated him, he realized he was completely at this man's mercy in his current condition and didn't have much choice but to trust him.
The door to the apartment opened and Abbacchio looked up, ready for another attack, but it was just an even younger teen with blond hair, carrying a bag with him.
"Who's that?" Abbacchio demanded.
Bruno glanced over his shoulder. "My brother," he said instantly.
Funny. They didn't look anything alike.
"He's awake?" the blond asked warily.
"Yes, and the good news is he seems coherent," Bruno replied, smiling briefly at Abbacchio. "Can I get you anything? I can offer some pain pills and water."
"You think I'm taking pills from a gangster?" Abbacchio snarled.
Bruno's face suddenly darkened with a serious air. "I don't deal in drugs. Don't lump me in with the other filth."
His conviction and obvious disgust surprised Abbacchio, but he was distracted by the blond coming over and setting a bottle of pills and a glass of water on the coffee table.
"It's a good idea to take them," the blond said matter-of-factly. "Though it's funny hearing him give medical advice."
Bruno frowned, but counted out two pills and handed those and the water to Abbacchio.
He stared at the items for a long moment before he took them and swallowed the pills down.
"Now, I'd let you stay the night, but if you'd rather go home, I can drive you."
Abbacchio certainly didn't want to spend the night on a mafioso's couch, so he nodded slowly. "I'm not staying here."
"Very well then," Bruno said, getting up and nodding to the blond. "He might need a hand up."
The blond huffed but came over and helped Bruno pull Abbacchio to his feet. He was still unsteady, head swimming, but he breathed through the dizziness for a couple seconds—which made his ribs hurt—then allowed Bruno to lead him slowly toward the door.
It was a longer trip than Abbacchio would like to admit down to the bottom of the apartment building, but Bruno was surprisingly patient. He wondered how the two had even gotten him up there in the first place but dismissed that to spare his aching head.
He was relieved to finally sit in the car when they reached the parking lot and Bruno handed him his coat and wallet.
He looked through the wallet and credentials to make sure nothing had been stolen as Bruno started the car.
"So where are we going?" he asked.
Abbacchio blinked, looking around. He was pretty sure he knew where they were and put that to mind but he wasn't about to let this mafioso know he was that aware at the moment.
"Uh, you can drop me off on Fifth."
"And how far do you have to walk from there?" Bruno asked.
"None of your damn business."
Bruno shrugged. "Fair enough." He pulled the car away from the curb and started driving in the direction Abbacchio had indicated.
"Why did you take me back to your place?" he finally asked.
Bruno looked over at him. "Because my men made a mistake and I couldn't in good conscious leave you there lying in some alley all night. There's plenty of bastards around there who would be more than happy to take out their frustrations on an injured cop. You would have done the same had our roles been reversed, I'm sure?"
Abbacchio grunted. "My job is to see justice done," he muttered.
"Then that already makes you better than most of your co-workers, Officer Abbacchio," Bruno said easily, not seeming offended by it. And, frankly, neither was Abbacchio. It was the truth, after all, he couldn't deny that.
Bruno pulled up to the street indicated and Abbacchio glanced down to where his apartment was. He figured he could make it there. The pain medicine was kicking in quite nicely.
"Thanks—but listen," he said, spearing Bruno with a look. "This doesn't mean I owe you a favor. It would be best if neither of us saw each other again."
"Of course." Bruno smiled in a way that was a little too knowing for Abbacchio. He opened the door and was about to get out before Bruno continued, "But, I do have something you might be interested in."
Abbacchio glanced back, ready to refuse, expecting a bribe of some kind, but Bruno only had a polaroid in his hand.
"What is it?" Abbacchio asked, curious despite his better judgement.
"If these men were to go to jail it would make life easier for both of us," Bruno explained. "And if you're interested, breaking a case like this might move you up in the world, officer."
"You're basically asking me to do a hit for you?" Abbacchio demanded.
"Not at all," Bruno replied sincerely. "Me passing you this information is no different than tips you'd get from one of your informants—that's what you can say if anyone asks. Or, you can explain that this picture fell out of one of the men's pockets as they were beating you." He smirked and Abbacchio stared at him incredulously. "Either way, it would, in the end, be doing both of us a favor."
Abbacchio continued staring at the picture for a long moment before he sighed and took it.
"I'll look into it," he said. "But I'm only doing this because it's my job."
"Of course," Bruno replied. "Take care, Officer Abbacchio."
Abbacchio pulled himself out of the car and shuffled slowly down the street to his apartment. He glanced at the photo one last time and shook his head, shoving it into his pocket.
For some reason, he didn't think he had seen the last of this Bruno fellow and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a very bad one.
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goatpaste · 1 year
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I genuinely love Bruabba so so much it keeps me going so to see you, someone whomst I deeply respect and admire the taste of, saying you don't like Bruabba... is there a particular reason??? I'm just. they're the Passione parents...
I hate abbacchio lol
I see them and my brain goes here:
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abbacchiosbelt · 2 years
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It surprises me people still mock Abbacchio when he seems to be the most sophisticated of the gang. Man likes Monteverdi and his favourite film is Sling Blade? He seems quite an intellectual to me.
honestly i think some people just like taking the piss out (ha) of their faves! i personally do. i love to look at my faves and call them pathetic little wet tissues. little creatures.
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butcharyastark · 10 months
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no but i do not fucking understand abbacchio defenders who try to combat accusations of him being immoral on the basis of being an ex-cop bc "but he was a CORRUPT ex-cop!"
LIKE THAT'S WORSE. YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THAT'S WORSE RIGHT?
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strawberymilku · 4 months
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Playing Dangerous
featuring: Police!Leone Abbacchio x Fem!Reader
genres: nsfw!, crimes, mention of: thugs, arson, mafia, car sex, oral sex, blowjob, dirtytalk, one night stand, fingering, doggy style, praises, police theme, corrupt, minor gunplay
a/n: i was rewatching jojo, and ive been wanting to write a police smut with lana del rey lyrics as prompt, and my bf wnted to collab so i just had to write it. not proofread yet. might do part 2 for it. word: 4k, a bit long but it was worth it.
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The woman was speeding for sure, but Abbacchio could doubt if she was the witness or the culprit for committing arson, Abbacchio heard the sound of the motorcycle approaching, and he turned to face the direction in which it was coming. It was heading straight in his direction-? He wasn't sure if the person on the bike was who he suspected it to be, but he raised his revolver as the bike came closer..it certainly looked suspicious...
"Why you?!" she yelled, cursing, he was brave enough that he did not care if he died to get her, pulling him on the side of the motorbike, with a swift dash, saving his life as he was at the back of her motorbike. It was the work of the Stand for sure, but sadly the man couldn’t see Stands like that yet but just felt someone lift him on her motorbike. That certainly caught him off guard. Was she just riding directly into him? The situation was unclear...Was she trying to run him over? To escape-? He was surprised at how quickly she acted. He could have been killed if it hadn't been for her, which meant..she couldn't be the arsonist, but she still looked suspicious..and yet she saved his life... Yet her actions are justified yet "Kill me later, what is wrong with you, you would be run across in my wheels," she had a gangly Italian accent, still on the motorbike with huge speed. "Am I getting a ticket for speeding too?" she said sarcastically. He looked at her back where a group of thugs were still chasing over her. Leone had a stunned look on his face. She was certainly lively, and rather..crude. He certainly wasn't expecting that attitude from a potential arsonist, but for some odd reason he didn't feel threatened by her- in fact, he was rather intrigued- she hadn't even noticed his police uniform. After a few moments of stunned silence, he finally replied
"Ah...I'm a police officer. But I can't just let anyone ride at such high speeds..why are you speeding away from people?" "They are after me, whaddya think," she went into different roads taking a lot of turns as the gang lost track of her, after minutes of having the stranger at the back, they stopped in a random alleyway, with a big sigh, she realized it was the cop, not that she’s afraid of him anyways. "It's my job to keep the streets safe and look out for suspicious behaviour- like someone on a motorcycle riding at dangerously high speeds in a residential area."
The suspicious behaviour mentioned included the arson incident at the local gas station that happened not a day ago. Although he didn't outright believe her, he decided to look into her claim. For now, he'd only ask questions to get a grip on the situation.
"May I ask what you were doing around that area where the suspected arson took place?"
"Arson? You think I'd commit arson-" Her lighter got pulled from her pocket, he was daring enough to get that from her leather jacket. "No, please, I'm a smoker," she pulled out her cigarettes to counter his proof. The policeman took a second to think. It would be highly unusual for someone to commit a criminal offense like arson just to cover up smoking. At the same time, he had no evidence proving her guilty yet. He decided to ask another more personal question.*  
"Why were they on your tail to begin with? Do you know why these gang members were after you?" That was a sensitive topic for a mafia’s daughter, no way she could leak her identity out like that. "Yes I do, I have my own reasons, which place was getting burned again?" she tilted her head, as she was demanded to show her license, but she looked reluctant to show it.
 There was still the issue of the gang members after her that he had to inquire about.
"The Shell station at the corner of Via Maddaloni and Via Caracciolo."
"I was at a Hilton Hotel I swear, you can get the evidence," she raised her arms, showing everything from her pocket. Everything seemed suspicious to Abbacchio, no way he could get information out of her mouth like that, so the best way was to flip her body quickly, putting her hands at his back as he slapped the metal handcuffs on her wrists, locking it. He was unsure why he did that but he believed this was the best way. She sighed, "My dad will be killing me if he finds out I’m going to be late,” it was too much for just speeding up in a motorbike.
He couldn’t help but raise a small smirk. Her hands being cuffed behind her back gave him a fair idea of what he could do to her.
"I suppose you aren't very much of a good girl?"
*"Everybody knows that I'm a good girl, officer,"* she replied still with her hands on her back as she was forced to walk back to where his car was. He let out a small laugh. It was rather amusing how easily she was acting so calm over being handcuffed and detained. Even if this incident would end up being a dead end for the arson case, he was still curious. She was just detained for being a suspect, just yet. Things are getting exciting.
"And exactly what is your name, miss?" 
“Y/N,” she grunted still feeling her wrist already from the handcuffs. “Well then Y/N, too bad, you will be a warrant for, ‘reckless driving, running through stop signs, driving at dangerously high speeds, running through red lights- and for suspicion of arson. You have the right to remain silent,” he said in a stern tone, he couldn’t help but smile at her rolling her eyes. *"No, I wouldn't do a thing like that, that's for sure,"* she tried to pout her lips to use a charm on him, thinking he would let her go this time.
Abbacchio's smirk grew wider, as he tried not to laugh at her attempt at seduction.
"I don't think a pout will suffice for an excuse in court."
Her attitude was amusing he thought. Usually, people would be acting aggressively, but she seemed to have accepted the situation quite easily.
"Ah yeah, my dad told me not to talk to the police, because I can demand rights for a lawyer," she tried to rethink again, trying to stay silent as they slowly walked back to his car. She had the attitude of a spoiled teenager, but he couldn't help but be amused. Usually, people would be threatening legal action, not talking about their parents, but she was a different case.
"Your father told you not to talk to the police..? Is he one of those who would try to bribe officers to avoid arrest?"
"Oh really, does he?" she grinned, still using her legs to take sweet sweet time back to the car, it was taking so long than usual just to stall time as much as she could. She was certainly being flirty for someone who had just been arrested.
"If you're expecting me to be charmed you certainly have a poor way of showing it."
Though she certainly was charming..but he'd rather stay professional at the moment. He’s a committed policeman after all. "Am I going to jail for this?" her shoulders slouched at him trying to repeat what she committed as if he were his mom. “Like, *the house is already on fire right, I swear I’m not a liar,*” she added to him to second guess his decisions.
Abbacchio gave her a skeptical look. She definitely wasn't being completely honest. But what she said about the house being on fire definitely seemed more believable than her being the arsonist. It seemed like these gang members came after her for something else. He decided to ask just to confirm his suspicions.
“I’m not asking about the arson crime, I’m asking how are you related to those thugs, it’s very dangerous you know,” he tried to squeeze more questions to get more information out of her.
The girl didn’t reply, it was indeed a chilly night, her lips were quivering from the cold, even if she had the leather jacket on her. “Are you cold?” he asked with concern in his eyes, his hands on her handcuffs, yet pulling her close to him, trying to walk back where he came from.
*“Well, I'm a little shaken, but I'm fine, thanks for asking.”* she smiled at him to look up at him with her eye smile.
"Did you owe them money? Did you have their illegal drugs? What's your ties to these gang members?" "Tell me do you always work so late?" she didn't answer his question, as she had the right not to though. She was very charming, but also very stubborn- he almost found it admirable. Maybe he should've taken her up on her earlier offer of charm. She seemed very confident in her ability to seduce him. It could be the right moment to give in to temptation.
"It's my job to watch the late night shift, what does my work schedule have to do with your involvement with gangs?"
*"Do you really have to put those tight handcuffs on?"* she tried to pull it out but it was not to avail. Still, she didn’t give up yet to flirt with him. Abbacchio gave her a small laugh at the girl, this was the moment for which he was hoping. That is, she was very much starting to flirt with him- so now was the perfect time to reciprocate. 
"Are you sure you're not trying to get me to take the cuffs off?"   
It might just be wishful thinking, but it certainly looked like she was trying to flirt. He was hoping for it anyway, and now she had given him the right opportunity by attempting to pull her cuffs off... But he must stay professional right?
*"Let's get in the back of your cop car, officer?"* she asked a question, still finding ways to flirt with him last minute possible. Finally, they arrived at the car that had printed ‘Polizia’ on it. “Playtime is over, get in the car,” he tried to stay in a demanding tone. The ‘officer’ word did get the man inhaled deeply, oh the things he could do with her right now, as he placed her in the backseat of the car, respectfully, restraining himself from touching her. He’s a good policeman, he couldn’t be doing that. *"You can ask me anything you want, anything, like anything,"* she smiled as he slowly fell for her trap, he decided to sit in the backseat, for a while, closing the car door behind him, and locking it, giving her a dirty smirk. Abbacchio chuckled and shook his head at her flirtatious comments, yet he also realized just how tempting the situation was.
"Anything, hmm?"
He thought for a bit. His mind started to wonder as he looked down at her. She was very appealing.
"What would you do, if I decided to uncuff you- right now?" "I don't know, officer," she looked at his lips then back to him. "You do like purple lipstick, don't you, what is it? Givenchy brand?" she joked, in between, giving a mysterious appeal to the policeman wanting to give in to his desires.
"Good guess. Though I may need more than just your beauty alone to convince me."
"Like what, officer?" she leaned closer towards his neck, it was rather a risqué attempt, she was down to play with fire too, from the looks in his eyes. Leone bit his lip slightly but he still tried to hold back, he wanted to stay professional and focused. But his heart couldn't help but race as she got close. He wondered how this would end...if there was a way he could fall for the trap.
The smell of her perfume hit his nose making it that much harder to focus. He was very tempted. She seemed to have been waiting for him to reply for a minute now. *"Do you have a girl? I don't see a ring on your finger?"* she'd be the one asking questions here instead, how the tables have turned, touching his chest on his police uniform, with her fingertips. This made him raise an eyebrow, the question she had just asked was a little unexpected. Though given he was staring directly at her lips he couldn't deny that he was rather tempted to take it as a sign. But he decided to answer nonetheless.
"I don't have a girlfriend..not at the moment anyway." "*Well that's interesting, have you thought of dating a* **mafia's daughter?**" she replied, dropping the biggest hint of all time, until he realized, no wonder why the gang was after her. He should let her go right? The thought of having her as a girlfriend was still tempting..her attractiveness, her flirtatious attitude, it was too much to ignore.
"Are you offering?" "Maybe I am, offering you a taste?" she leaned closer towards him slowly. It was obvious, that she a tease, still not kissing him, just yet, but their faces were just inches apart. Abbacchio held his breath. Her words were tempting, her attitude was tempting..and her lips were certainly tempting- all she had to do was just close the space between them and they'd be locked in a passionate kiss...
He felt like he might die if he didn't go through with their kiss. He wanted to play her game and play it perfectly. Her words had been tempting since she said them and he could only answer with one answer. 
Abbacchio took in a deep breath and nodded his head. **The flames are getting higher, and so is his desire. It's kind of exciting, don't you think?
"Am I playing a dangerous game, officer?" she teased, still not kissing him, just yet, she wanted to see how far this would go.
The policeman was gritting his teeth in anticipation. It was a dangerous game she was playing, and he knew he shouldn't play it. She was involved with the mafia after all. But the temptation was too much to pass up. He had to do it. The smell of her perfume still lingered, making it much more inviting.
"It's a very dangerous game." 
Abbacchio finally caved in. He knew he couldn't control himself anymore. He closed the distance and pulled her towards him, giving in their passionate kiss. She crashed on her lips softly, melting right down on this gothic policeman, without shame, he was worth a one-night stand, but she didn't really care, their kisses became hotter and hotter each second, he gripped her body, forcing her onto his thighs, looking up at her. Their kiss has started to deepen. His lips brushed against hers as he pulled her even closer. This girl..she was too irresistible. Her flirting and teasing, even the danger of her being involved with the mafia. He just wanted more. She touched his badge and looked up at him. "Abbacchio was it?" she kissed him once more, not enough of his kisses, at this point the purple lipstick has been worn off at this point, some even staining her lips.
"That is my name, yes." "So officer~" the way she said was so enticing, 
"What am I supposed to do now?" she felt his hands roaming all across her body, as if he owned her right here, no tonight, he could do whatever he wanted for tonight. 
"Will I be forgiven for this, officer?" she was like a crime he must commit just for tonight, a sin he wouldn't regret doing, for sure.
"I guess I'll have to figure out how to punish you for this..for now though, I'm sure you don't mind my hands on your body, hmm?"
His smile was quite teasing too and even though he was trying to appear professional, it was clear he was enjoying this quite a lot. He leaned back in and began kissing her again. He gave her a look that told her he was enjoying this as his hands stayed firmly on her hips. “Let’s make this exciting for the both of us,” he pulled out his revolver from his waistband, pointing at her head. He must tried it out at least, he needed to have the upper hand as well. "Officer, I will do anything to repent," her words were dripping as if it was made of honey, she wasn’t even fazed the gun barrel was pointed at her head, biting her lips. Things have gotten out of hand. "You will, will you?" he grinned of mischievous how he liked her under his power.
"How about you tell me what you'd do to repent- and I'll think about it and see if it's enough of a punishment for you." "First, I'd unbuckled that belt of yours and..." her eyes trailed downwards at the seat at the bulge forming in his navy blue pants and up to his golden purple eyes, that would be enough for his imagination to do the rest of the work. “Okay then, get to work, don’t just be an all talk,” he pressed the revolver harder on her skin, geez this man was full of sass, which made her actually take off his pants, obeying his orders, just as he wanted her to. "Oh, please don't shoot me yet, Mr Polizia, I will be good," she unravelled his hard cock from his underwear, palming it between her small hands trying to please him, her handcuffs were still on.
"So you'll be a better girl if I don't shoot you?"
He looked down at her with a teasing and tempting look, she was really quite the girl. This was the most teasing, dangerous girl he had ever come across on the job. “You know your small hands aren’t in good use, use your mouth,” he demanded, pointing the gun directly at her and even though he wasn't gonna shoot, she could clearly see the barrel against her. He looked at her with a teasing grin. She looked so pretty under him, and all the power he had on her. She nodded at his orders, bending down, licking his wet tip for a while, which made him have a satisfying moan, his impulse made him push his right hand on her head, pushing her mouth closely for the blowjob. His breath was shaky already as he felt every part of her mouth on his dick, he felt as if he was on cloud nine, it was all worth it. Worth it from a tiring shift, she was trying to suck him good, she looked like she was an expert at this, feeling his tip pushed against her throat, she was trying to be his only little good girl, a good girl just for Mr Policeman right here. Oh, how he’d wish he could possibly want her every night. Her mouth was starting to tire her, as all her saliva was all around his base, “Abbacchio, sir, are you satisfied yet?” she looked up at him for his mercy, for his approval, for his attention, with those orbs. “Not yet, I wanted to cum on your face,” he pointed the gun at her, demanding to resume her lips to work again. Her head bobbed again and again, trying to please him as much as she could, deepthroating him, her tongue twirling on his length. She liked how much vocal he was, praising her, for her good use of the mouth.
“My god, you weren’t lying when you said you will have your mouth in good use,” that was the best blowjob he received in his life so far, feeling every orgasm trying to rip from his heated skin. After minutes of torturing her throat, he finally gave in, painting on her face with his white liquids, with a satisfied smug face. “Uh, uh, uh, mi amore,” he had a menaced look over her with a tsk, “Who said I was done with you?” for a policeman like him, having stamina could be true. He bent her over, his gun still pointing at her. The time to show who is the monster here, not giving her a break.
“Look here, girl, *if you can't stand the heat. Then stay out of the fire,*” he groped all over breasts, throwing the gun away on the floor of the car. She happened to listen all to his command, like a good little girl, he pulled down her bottom clothing, his fingers trying to play her folds through her underwear, trying to tease her. “Oh, your cunt is wet here, *you might get what you desire*,” he put the underwear aside, rubbing on her clit, trying to gain some moans from her. Things are starting to get interesting. “I’m not putting on anything, yeah, just to warn you,” his cock tried to get between her wet folds, just like that. “I-uh, policia, please don’t you have a condom-” her mouth was shoved with the finger he got her pussy juices on. “Lick it up,” she couldn’t deny such requests from the hot officer, licking it, while he kept pounding her behind her back. Not enough, he needed to feel every wall of her just like that. “I’m going raw, so shut your pretty mouth like that,” He had an enormous speed, gripping her waist, her arms against the tinted glass, the car starting to fog up from the movements, “Listen here, little girl, and listen good,” he raised her body good, her boobs all over the window glass at this point, she screamed more as her G spot has been getting all this abuse from the sudden position.
“Please, please, have mercy on me, officer-” her words were cut as he pushed his fingers in her throat, attempting to shut her mouth. This man is indeed wild, the luckiest night for a girl like her. **”Even if you scream, or beg me to stop, or have mercy, I’m not stopping,”** he rutted inside her cunt as if it was meant to be shaped by his large cock.
“Not until I’m satisfied,” he hummed, using it as if she was a toy she was made just for him to fuck her. Her cries and moans filled the whole street, think to their luck no one was in the streets, a few maybe. Do you this man cares? No? **“Not like you can stop me anyways, hmm?”** he didn’t stop his thrusts, her pussy aching from all the movements, their moans were in unison. She was already tired at this point, getting the slaps on her buttocks, his hand making her chin move just to kiss him as he kept railing behind her back, his lusts and desires being fulfilled by this one girl. “If you keep doing like that, I might-” she panted for air, she needed for a moment there, “I might, cum~” her body squealed in pleasure, holding all her sanity.
It was prolonged sex for sure, he finally had to urge to orgasm, he pulled out in time, cumming all over her body, she really looked pretty as if he was the artist, painting more cum on the belly. “Know your place, just like that,” he looked coldly into her eyes, he didn’t have time for this right? The aftercare was little, he threw her tissues and a bottle of water he had in the car, putting on his clothes, he did let her go this time, unlocking her sore wrists, and going back to his driver seat. 
He did drove her back to her motorbike was at, even opening the door for her to get out, after minutes of silence, he kissed her forehead softly, like a gentleman would, before he finally let her go. But one thing for sure is that it was one of the best nights he’d ever had with a girl. A sucker for romance, *lovin’ a hurricane*
part 2?
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Mall Cop Abbacchio
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gerbymoo · 3 months
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I think theres obviously a more in depth reason as to why Abbacchio has such a beef with Giorno (that honestly I think never got resolved) aside from the whole, who tf is this noobie and why is he challenging our status quo.
One, Giorno represents a lot of things to a lot of the characters individually and I think without a doubt, this sense of justice and doing the right thing (by any means.) Abbacchio’s back story is based off of an immature sense of justice that becomes broken once he sees that the system never worked in black and white. This leads to his demise from working in law enforcement and having to resort to work for the actual mob, almost opposite extremes. Abbacchio has such a hard time walking the middle path, the gray areas of life where, I assume, he determined he can’t actually ever provide true justice because he is a mafia member, and the whole sulk along party starts.
Giorno is such a fucking dynamic character and he works as everyone’s catalyst for moving forward and seeing that it all doesn’t have to be this way, challenging the status quo which is seemingly impossible to Abbacchio. I can see him hate the fact that Giorno reminds him of his younger idealistic self but the fact that he actually DOES something about it.
That’s why i FUCKEN lose it when his cop friend does the whole, “You did good Abbacchio :)”
FFFFFFF-
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I was wondering how you think Abbacchio would react to a darling that’s in college and suffers from on and off depression? I love your work so much and this is my first request ever (crazy since I’ve been following you since 2020 or 2021 ((i can’t remember but you’re why I joined tumblr 😭))
I’m flattered you signed up to this cursed site to read my stuff. But it’s okay, we’re all mad here right? I even have crazy right in my username.
I rambled on this piece, just trying to think on him so uh don’t mind me.
Yandere! Leone Abbacchio w/ a darling who has on/off depression He’s always there for you, whether you know it or not. He’ll sigh in resignation as he pulls out a key and unlocks the door to your apartment. The slightly stale air tingles his nostrils immediately, it’s not like he could really berate you for anything you haven’t done. As the former cop has been in a sorrier state himself, something he won’t hesitate to admit. Abbacchio proceeds to close the door behind him and reaches over to crack a window some.
His eyes scan across the living room and kitchen, there were a few things scattered about disorganized. The sink had some dishes in them, yet to be washed with the pile steadily growing. He’d take care of those later, maybe even try to help you do it. Right now, however his selfish thoughts of seeing you overrode the thought of tidying up the place.
It wasn’t hard to hear footsteps outside of your room, that he knew well from the countless times he’s walked in here. He taught you to at least recognize his and Bucciarati’s footsteps, the others never really came to your place unexpectedly so there was no real need to mention theirs. Which is odd to put it lightly, but the twenty one year old couldn’t help but obsess over it. His stand wasn’t necessarily combat oriented, and of course he still had his training from his cop days instilled in his brain. It was just for safety, that was what he told himself with these precautions. The long haired male knew deep down it was sort of wrong but he kept with it anyway.
Your door wasn’t even fully shut when he approached it. It only took a small push for the door to swing wide open. Then there you were sleeping on your bed, hair disheveled and you were still in your pajamas. What time was it now? Thirteen, no wait fourteen hundred… he inwardly cursed himself for glossing over the time. Either way it was rather late for waking up. Yet you were rather mesmerizing sleeping the way you were. He could just sit there on your bed and watch you lay there for eternity.
It took all his mental strength to not silently just stand there like a creep and say your name. It was a gentle and low grumble, but it was loud enough to stir you a little bit. He waits a minute before saying your name again, the white haired male wasn’t that brazen yet. Sure he could stalk you or play you back on Moody Blues without hesitation. Yet there was something gnawing at him to not touch you being unaware right now. Like that was a good place to supposedly draw the line at. He knows he’ll cross it eventually with how much his mind goes to you.
“A…A…Abba…cchio?” You mumbled incoherently, but Abbacchio’s heart stammered immediately knowing those syllables you slogged over were that of his name.
“I just came to check in on you” He told you, although totally unannounced you took his word for it.
He already knew the issues of depression you had, and the mountain of stress that your college classes were causing. He knew the smallest of details that you never told him. From listening outside your open window or using Moody Blues while you were gone. Your eyes looked exhausted from your mental strife, it made him melt inwardly. He was filth, but he reassured himself to keep you clean even if you didn’t know it.
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked as you clumsily sat yourself up.
“I don’t know…” You answered honestly “but I want to try”
He nodded solemnly asking what he could do for you, every little question thumped in his chest. The support you needed and a shadow that watched your every move. From home to classes, to shopping, or even sitting at home. Maybe you knew and despised him, he could be thrown out at anytime, disposed of like garbage. He disregarded that in his current situation, being near something he always wanted. He wasn’t ready to let you go, he’d never willingly do so but he’d help somehow even if it indulged his selfishness.
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silly-l1ttle-guy · 5 months
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drop every headcanon of the bucci gang NOW!
ON IT BOSS!!!
--- pookie bear bruno hcs first <3
BRUNO BUCCIARATI IS 100% GAY FOR LEONE ABBACCHIO
they just kinda live together
bruabba holds a special place in my heart
bruno's probably stressed out 24/7
VERY FEMININE GUY
hes got soft features yk?
probably spends like 3 hours doing his hair in the morning
ISTG HE PROBABLY SMELLS SO GOOD
I like to think that he legally adopted Fugo after fugso bugso joined that gang
SHUT UP IT MAKES ME HAPPY
poor guy overworks himself WAY too often
he also has the most gorgeous eyelashes you'll ever see
and they're natural, too
THIS MAN HAS EYEBAGS
he's tired af half the time, idk what you expected
he tries to help fugo control his anger (bc he's a loving mother) (giorno does it better tho)
i reckon bruno's pansexual tbh, he just seems like he wouldn't give a shit about his partner's gender
he likes going fishing
brought Abbacchio along one time
abba got seasick and threw up
he likes to accessorize his hair (hence the mitochondria hair clips)
sometimes he'll let the others accessorize his hair, too
trish makes it look really cute
abba makes it look stunning (bc it's his boyfriend)
narancia just puts random shit in his hair
Mista sings loudly (and badly) to be a little shit while he does Bruno's hair (it turns out surprisingly ok)
giorno deadass just puts a shit ton of stars in his hair
fugo gets mad and almost rips a chunk of Bruno's hair out
Bruno's guilty pleasure is midnight snacks
abbacchio caught him eating a whole ass tub of ice cream while watching il postino: the postman at like 2 in the morning
they watched it together and cuddled afterwards
hot goth
gay for bruno
he probably watches those make up youtube channels
if he didn't join passione he could be a make up artist
lets trish practice on him
HE SEES NARANCIA AS HIS SON AND YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE
he's full on protective of nara too
i like to give abbacchio sharper features when i draw him tbh
also a larger nose
and while we're at it, let's hook that bad boy (the nose)
he and bruno go on wine testing dates
he has very frequent and reoccurring nightmares
(its why he sleeps with bruno)
his parents cut contact when they found out he was a dirty cop :(
this man saw narancia on his first day in the gang and accepted his fate as a father LMAO
he's a gay man and you can't tell he's not. Never felt attraction towards women
he feels like time moves by too fast. Everything happens so quickly and he wishes he could go back and just relive certain parts of his life over and over again because he feels like everything happens so quickly now that he's older and it overwhelms him (this definitely isn't me projecting what're you talking about)
moody blues is sort of the representation of this
SENTIENT MOODY BLUES SUPREMACY BY THE WAY
Moody blues is curvy and i won't accept anything else
make moody look goddamn feminine
not too feminine obviously but like
moody looks like a woman compared to abbacchio
tells people he can't dance but he definitely can
just play the right music and give him enough wine and he'll be dancing like he's never danced before (only in private tho)
YOOUU CAN DANCE, YOOUU CAN JIIVVEEEEE~~
EVERYTIME I LISTEN TO HALF-DECADE HANGOVER BY WILL WOOD I JUST THINK OF ABBACCHIO
and maybe euthanasia by will wood too
not even kidding, abbacchio has the same body type as a greek god
also the strongest guy in the team
the guy that has a dream
GIORNO. WHERE DO I FUCKING START.
I love this weird ass fucking guy
gay for fugo. that's all I'm gonna say.
I KNOW HE ACTED FRUITY W/ MISTA BUT IT'S BC HE'S A LITTLE SHIT WHO LIKES TO FLIRT WITH HIS FRIENDS AS A JOKE
not abba or bruno tho (they're too old for his taste)
remember that one seen where he and mista are up against cioccolata (fuck him btw) and they do that gay ass pose?
prime example of giorno being a little shit
putting his hand down mista's pants was an accident by the way, he just said "fuck it" and went with it
he probably showed the gang the thing he could do with his ear
they had very mixed reactions
one day (before the gang) he woke up and saw his roots were blond and he just went like "sigh, guess I have to grow my hair out and become barbie
THIS MAN RIGHT HERE IS THE TWINK
also bc his dad is dio I like to think that he sunburns easily
he can also see really well and the dark
"It's so dark in here, I can't see shit!" "I can, there's a light switch over there."
everyone was confused as hell bc it was pitch black in that room
this man is gay. he likes BOYS and BOYS ONLY
i like to think Giorno's a mischievous lil guy
he does something silly then giggles and runs away
it's to make up for the fact that he didn't have a proper childhood
ALSO CURLY HAIR GIORNO SUPREMACY
his hair is gorgeous and luxurious AND SO FUCKING CURLY
he uses about 20 hair products every day (21 if he's going on a date)
he can calm fugo down so easily too
"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU NARANCIA-" "Hi fugo!" "Oh, hey Giorno."
it's really scary (according to narancia and mista)
this man loves gardening
born to be a gardener, forced to be a gangstar
autistic (it runs in the family)
the stink
Mista is the type of guy who showers once or twice a week
he only washes his clothes when they get too dirty
I like to make this man a little wider honestly
GIVE THIS MAN SOME CHUB PLEASE
he's muscular, but he's gotta have a little meat on there too
I like to think that Mista outright REFUSES to shave
the only place that he can grow barely any hair is his face
never shaved his face. He doesn't have much facial hair and he'll be damned if he ever has to get rid of the little that he has
bffs with trish btw
they make fun of each other all the time
in a friendly way
he honestly looks the least gay out of everyone
probably bi with a heavy preference towards girls (he had a boyfriend one time tho)
STINKS SO BAD IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY
sometimes he shoves Narancia's face in his armpit for fun
I'm not even kidding Narancia probably threw up one time bc Mista stank so bad
older brother figure to EVERYONE
Giorno? that's his baby brother. Narancia? his favourite brother. Trish? his little sister. Fugo? that's his angry little brother.
I have so many mista headcanons it's unreal
his hair is so fucking curly istg
and it's black too
very short tho. also super greasy
his love language is physical touch, but not in the usual physical touch way
he won't really hug people or hold hands or just do something normal, oh no
my guy likes to pick people up and throw them over his shoulder
it's definitely not to show off how strong he is
definitely
everything about him is so crusty
he literally gets along with anyone tho
you can't tell me this guy DOESN'T smoke weed
not very often but like
once every month or two he'll get high to relax
he stopped after Giorno took over as boss (bc yk, drugs are a no no)
he probably thinks France isn't real tbh (but as a joke to annoy fugo)
I HAVE MORE MISTA HEADCANONS BUT I HAVE TO CUT IT SHORT BECAUSE I NEED TO MOVE ON TO THE OTHERS
angry strawb (lots of angst in this one)
fugo is deeply in love with Giorno (FUGIO FOR LIFE)
a little bit of angst warning btw
bc of his past, fugo HATES physical touch
if someone touches him he will flinch
very uncomfortable in crowded places
Mista's love language is physical touch, but he refrains himself from touching Fugo
it's really sweet
"HEY FUGO! Lemme give you a high-five! Wait, no, you don't like that. Have this cool rock I found instead!"
he's trying
Fugo really appreciates it
after phf, he let Mista be one of the two people who can touch him (the other person is Giorno)
Fugo just randomly hugged him one day and that was that
he was really distraught when he found out Narancia, Bruno and abba died
especially Bruno
like I said before, Bruno adopted him after he joined the gang, so he genuinely saw Bruno as a father figure
definitely called Bruno "dad" in private
He genuinely cried when he realized he missed Bruno's funeral
MOVING ON TO THE NON ANGSTY STUFF BC IM GONNA CRY
when he's a bad mood, he listens to music with Abbacchio (his dad's cool boyfriend who he looks up to)
will correct any and all spelling or grammar mistakes
nerd supreme
i like to headcanon that Fugo's albino
(MANGA FUGO FOR LIFE)
he's really sensitive to sunlight because of it
his vision isn't that good, too
it's not bad enough to the point where he can't read and all that, but it definitely bothers him
since it wasn't too serious, he got some glasses that corrected his vision
he only really wears them when he's reading now, but he used to wear them all the time when he was younger
GOD I HAVE A LOT OF FUGO HEADCANONS
sometimes he wakes up and there's just a bouquet of flowers at the foot of his bed (I WONDER WHO THAT WAS HMMMM)
Narancia's like a little brother towards him
he doesn't care that nara's a year older than him, that's his brother
genuinely will forget to eat if he isn't reminded (me projecting)
i have more but i'm gonna have to end it here
BABY BOY <3
I LOVE NARANCIA I HAVE A NARANCIA PLUSHIE (and a giorno one but that's less important)
he originally had really good eyesight, but after his eye got infected his eyesight just kinda went bad
his eyes expired
but seriously though (woah no way, silly little guy can be serious?), he's almost blind in the eye that got infected
doesn't wanna wear glasses bc "they'll ruin his reputation"
he's also really short compared to everyone else in the team
he's really insecure about it
can and will fight anyone who says something even remotely teases him for his height
low iron for sure (me too bud, me too)
Abbacchio just took on the role as his father and makes sure he eats all his food
"But it tastes badddd" "Eat it or I'll shove it down your throat. Also, it has good iron."
he ate it, but was very pouty about it the whole time
mista will point at things made of iron and say shit like "that's what you need" or "you should eat that to get your iron levels up"
skinny but he's really strong
my guy has a six pack but looks scrawny as hell
Mista's jealous of him lmao
"Why do YOU get a six pack?!" "because you're fat"
Mista then forced Narancia to smell his armpits (they were rank)
he does a lot of shit with Mista lmao
partners in crime
he got high with mista one time and never did it again
oddly flexible
he's probably dyslexic
the girlboss
live laugh love Trish
lesbian fr
she practices makeup on Abbacchio
another one that sees abba as a father figure
they point each other's nails and go shopping together
Mista's bff fr
they do karaoke together
yk that one tiktok sound that was that like "OH SHIT IT'S IN KOREAN" and then starts singing it perfectly anyway
that's her and Mista
Mista's the one that sings it lmao
i don't have that many headcanons for trish tbh
she likes to try out new hairstyles a lot
they're always short tho
she doesn't like growing out her hair
says it's too much of hassle
we love trish in the household
she has freckles (from doppio)
yk those weird ass dots diavolo has in his hair? she has those but they're less noticeable
talks shit about people with abbacchio
she likes ranting about stuff to giorno bc he's a good listener
big fan of scented candles
gave mista soap for his birthday
she has frequent headaches (something she got from doppio, bc i hc that he has frequent headaches)
ANYWAY THAT'S IT FOR NOW
do you wanna hear about my la squadra headcanons? Doppio and Diavolo??? PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY GOOD HEADCANONS JUST LET ME RANT-
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