#cocaine bear what are you

[wowifinallywatched]

Wow I finally watched Cocaine Bear

This movie changed my life.

Not for any philosophical or environmental reasons just because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS MOVIE

#cocaine bear what are you #you poor bear you deserved much better hunny #BUT YOU STILL A BADASS MAMA BEAR AND WE STAN #Jesse is a baby and I will protect him forever I love him #Eddie was highkey really hot #WE LOVE SEEING GENERATIONAL TRAUMA BEING RECOGNISED AND BROKEN BABES #“Is the dog on cocaine?” LOOSING IT- #wow I finally watched #cocaine bear #movies #real thoughts #someones brain really took the original story and completely fucked with it in their own little brain and i'm kind of here for it #but don't tell my mum #wait I watched this with my mum and bonus dad #if you heard confused laughter for an hour and a half straight that was us

[anime-scarves]

Ok. So. Cocaine Bear was actually hilarious. I hadn't seen any of the promotional material and just knew that I needed to see a movie about the time a bear ate a bunch of cocaine. By all accounts this was actually a good thing because apparently the trailers and ads really hype it up as this amazing movie that's gonna be better than everything. And it's just not. And that's ok.

What it is, is a hilarious comedy slasher where the slasher is a bear zonked out of its mind on cocaine. A lot of the comedy was genuinely funny and they knew exactly what they wanted the movie to be. It's not going to win awards, but it's going to make you laugh a lot and have a good time.

#text #cocaine bear #that's not a tag i was ever expecting to write #also irl this did happen #well the bear eating cocaine #but its heart basically just exploded after a few minutes #which does not make a great film #anyways go see it if you want a comedic slasher #which is a bit of an odd combo #but the absurdity of the situation really works #supporting cast was fantastic too #just the right amount of camp #but also some kinda heartfelt moments that are both a little sweet but also hilarious with how they contrast with what is happening

[okayigetitifuckedup]

Manifesting every Asshole Movie Critic in the world to have reoccurring nightmares of this Gromit with human eyes until they recant their reviews about good movies they only didn't like because they're grumpy from the lead poisoning.

#I'm doing this for all of us #Lisa Frankenstein #Cocaine bear #renfield #manifesting #they just don't like fun #why are you reviewing movies if you just want to see the same bullshit film over and over? #why can't we make something new? #and what is your BEEF with horror? #such fucking assholes

[klanced]

allura & pidge: two tickets to cocaine bear

lance & hunk: two tickets to oppenheimer

shiro & keith: two tickets to barbie

#voltron #as you can guess I drafted this when cocaine bear was still in theaters. god I want to see this movie so bad #you: why isn’t lance going to Barbie— #me: he’s going to Barbie afterwards. he’s doing like a matinee thing with oppenheimer in the morning & then he and hunk will watch Barbie #coran has tickets for all the movies btw I think he would live in a movie theater on weekends #shitpost #allura #pidge #lance #hunk #shiro #keith #allura obviously also watches Barbie I just think she would prioritize cocaine bear and beau is afraid first #imagine they're all going to the movies at the same time. this is about who prioritizes what #also before you ask obviously they all say atsv. but this is set in july

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Ngl, I’m finding it fucking hilarious that out of any movie to beat a MCU movie, Cocaine Bear was the movie to do so. 

#anti mcu #probably cause unlike ant man 3 cocaine bear seems to be not taking itself that seriously #and therefore is able to handle comedy #like you saw the title you know what your getting into when seeing the movie #but mcu is still using its 'comedy' in ant man 3 and its messy plot handling is showing with reactions outside of hardcore fans

[howlingguardian]

Cocaine Bear

So I saw Cocaine Bear.

And it was fucking great.

This film knows exactly what it is, and it reminds you constantly: characters saying 'A bear. Did. Cocaine!" or "That bear is fucked!". And we need that, because there is no other way to react to an apex predator on All The Drugs.

There's some other stuff going on with the humans, but that's just the side salad to the juicy t-bone steak of the bear. This movie is funny, it's dramatic, it's genuinely scary in places, and while I see a lot of movies and it's only February, I firmly believe Cocaine Bear is going to be one of, if not the best film of 2023.

Now go watch it. Thank me later.

#my stuff #cocaine bear #films #elizabeth banks #ray liotta #what i'm watching #It's a bear on coke #What more do you want?

[lesbiancressidacowper]

“oh cocaine bear is directed by a woman?” “i didn’t know cocaine bear was directed by A Woman” it’s ELIZABETH BANKS YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT. who else would direct a movie called cocaine bear.

#im SUCH an elizabeth banks girlie #beth.txt #i love pitch perfect and i love the hunger games. what do you want from me #cocaine bear

[whiteshipnightjar]

#joanna newsom #monkey and bear #the bear #cocaine bear #winnie the pooh #callisto #ursa major #ursa minor #bears baby! #did i think of this instead of sleeping and then couldn’t stop thinking about it? hahaha ha. ha. nah whatcha talking about? im sane #originally compared just the first 3 but then thought if i’m losing my mind i should go for it fully #you decide what you choose your bear for #you know what i’m going for obv #love joanna #jnew

[munamania]

cocaine bear 2.8 stars on letterboxd??? jesus christ you people hate fun...

#resisting the urge to be really annoying about it. i wont. sorry you dont get it and are fucking stupid and lashing out on everyone else #who had fun about it. about the movie where a bear did cocaine #you managed to not have fun and had to sour the internet with your insufferability naturally because what else are you going to do #with your sorry time. ok sorry #abby talks #cocaine bear is about love so i'll calm down.

[skajador]

Reiko is so fucking funny like "KITAOKA IS SO STUPID WITH HIS TRICKS. I'LL END HIS ENTIRE CAREER."

*turns around, immediately falls for the oldest true crime girlie trick in the book*

#Like girl lmaoo #Kins watches ryuki #HAVE YOU EVER TRIED EATING DIRT? #what if the cocaine bear... Has feelings #He doesn't! Yall got that dude killed #Ryuki spoilers

[letmeliedown]

harrier du bois is nOT A BEAR HE IS AN AGING OTTER WITH A POTBELLY AT BEST!! I WON’T STAND FOR THIS

#motherfucker's got wiry limbs! he's a skinny guy with a gut! what's wrong with you people! #you can't just say any middle aged man is rep of every single marginalized body type lmao #(my bf: yeah maybe he's a cocaine bear) #had to post this despite pain

[tealfruit]

y'know it's easy to forget since they can be real menaces normally but our cats are SHOCKINGLY well-behaved in Strange Situations. Amelie gave June a few good scratches but that's really not much considering we scooped them all up, ran them outside and put them in a strange room full of weird smells, had them stuck there for about 40 minutes, and then ran them back home through the rain. like even in that room they acted just kinda confused once we sat with them for a bit and petted them. and then when we got home they just went completely business as usual. the chillest animals ever

#nerd alert #of course then you take lucky to the vet and he trembles and pants like a chihuahua on cocaine #or put barold in a moving vehicle and he cries like a human infant the entire ride #but like what other trio of cats would be SO CHILL about that whole situation and not be completely freaked out forever afterwards? #precious son #amelie dot zip #lucky bastard #bear bear

[geekcavepodcast]

Cocaine Bear | You Want Me to Watch What?!

Well, we finally did it. We watched Cocaine Bear. 

Download and listen today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,  iHeart, Amazon, Stitcher,  Goodpods, and more of your favorite podcast services!

#podcast #movies #comedy #cocaine bear #review #you want me to watch what

[allpromarlo]

elizabeth banks heard me ask for a movie that makes me sit in the theater completely befuddled and she gave me cocaine bear

#son. wtf did i just watch #it was so...messy #it was exactly what it promised to be: a coke-fuelled gore show #sometimes the gore was a bit. Heavy but it was bearable most of the time #pun not intended #movies #cocaine bear #cinema is so back #wtf are you saying

[pastelchad]

Watching cocaine bear was a huge mistake for my stupid ass now whenever I walk home from the bus stop I'm all paranoid about getting attacked by a bear

#it wasnt the movie so much as me being curious abt what actually happens when a bear eats an entire duffel bag of cocaine #the answer is that no one really knows anything besides that the bear will die soon after ingesting it #the actual bear weighed less than i do. 170 lbs. ate $14m worth of coke and as far as anyone can tell just rolled over and died soon after #i found that out right before i fell down the internet rabbit hole of bears attacking humans #did you know that a bear doesnt need to kill you before it starts eating you? #anyways im dumb af bc i live like 10 minutes out of a major city

[brucebocchi]

Reminds me of the time this guy (masc4masc dudebro 5 in 1 shampoo type) asked me (bussyboy icedcoffee bad driver bttm) on a date to see "Cocaine Bear" so I was like sure why not every bottom needs a top and I was newly single and ready to GAPE after the movie so I was being a good boywife to signal u know? Make sure he knew what I was after. I looked good in my little cargo shorts and Uniqlo cross shoulder bag, can you blame me for wanting to shine? I starved myself all day besides my Venti iced Macchiatto. Did a coffee Enema. Half way through the film im already dialating so we get into his old F150 and once i saw what he drove I was like oh im gonna be a victim of his weapon of ass destruction 4 sure. We get to his house. Messy. No permanent furniture. PS4 on the corner on the floor. Smells like old socks and cheap body spray. Oh!!! the Coque is gonna be good. We go into his room and it's dark but I can see he pulls down his pants to show me some old ass Hanes boxers. At this point my Nair hair removal addicted and bleached hole is fully dialated. He says hold on let me turn on the light to get condoms so he turns on the light. Charli XCX poster on the wall. He says hes gonna play some music. "Padam Padam" starts playing. Trahs bin, full of empty Starbucks - the clear cup!!!! Get this, he had a white iphone........I ended up having to top him. I guess Paris Hilton was right the stars really are blind huh? This is why bottoms deserve our stories told. Bottom stories matter. They do.