#cheating is a choice i do not give a shit mike deserved better

[janetsnakehole02]

remind me to skip the first like ten episodes of season 4 during my next suits rewatch because i always forget how fucking angry i get at the ABSURDITY of rachel cheating and then actually getting away with it, not to mention i’m supposed to believe that HARVEY of all people would try to convince mike to let it go?? naur way jesus this show stresses me out so much sometimes lmao

#cheating is a choice i do not give a shit mike deserved better #the fact that she was crying to get sympathy as if she wasn’t just as into it as logan?? #girl was about to strip she took her fucking blazer off #this is when i joined the rachel zane hate train and its such a shame bc i loved her character in the earlier seasons #highly convinced that at that point mike and harvey should’ve just run off together into the sunset on a flight to buenos aires #suits #mike ross #rachel zane #harvey specter

[misunderstoodxmike]

ʀᴜɴᴀᴡᴀʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ || sᴇʟғ-ᴘᴀʀᴀ

             everything that happened after he got into his car became a blur. there were pieces such as a paramedic and a cop walking up to him. he wasn’t even sure how he got home but there he was sitting in his driveway. the events of the night replaying in his head but what he kept coming back to was chris unconscious body. as well as matthew’s words that kept playing over and over in his head. ‘you ruin everything that touches or comes in contact with you. god, maybe the doctors shouldn’t have saved your life after you gave birth.’  there wasn’t a lie in what he said. look at what happened with chris. the male was probably mere seconds away from death. mike had pushed him to that point where he gave up on life. he was responsible for that! the heartbroken look on his face, and the words that he spoke before he fell in. what if he does that to liam too?  what if he already fucked that up?  matthew may be right on that aspect too. he was already spot on everything else. maybe the male wasn’t as bad as mike originally thought. after all, his intentions weren’t good by any means. he let chris confess his feelings and when he was going to walk away, mike dropped the bomb that they had a kid together. there had also been a part of him that hoped that chris would leave matthew to be with him.  god, he really was terrible and had wanted to wreck a home.  mike probably ruined matthew in the process by making him crazy and jealous. how many more lives was he going to ruin. in that moment, mike knew what had to be done. while he wasn’t going to kill himself. he wasn’t going to put anyone through that of finding or identifying his body.  nor leave them the guilt that they might have been responsible. instead, there was one clear choice.

             mike found himself running up to his room, grabbing a suitcase and start throwing clothes in it. he didn’t really have a destination or plan in mind but knew that he had to get out of here. if he stuck around anymore, he would destroy and take everyone else down with him.  they all deserved to be happy and away from his toxicity. As he put more of his things such as pictures of his family, liam and even chris. something fell from the dresser, a video camera which gave him an idea. Mike set it up to point to the bed before hitting record and sitting down on the bed.  “I’m sorry that I can’t do this in person, but this is the best way otherwise I may be talked out of it or I may coward out. I decided that it was best if I left. mom and dad, I’m sorry that I’ve given you so much grief, not only for this but for  everything else as well. I gave you two such a headache and I never truly appreciate it. especially you dad whom I call you a hypocrite and treated so badly after you cheated on mom. Look at me now, I’m much worse. I didn’t even tell you two the full truth about what happened between me and chris. I know I said it was a misunderstanding but plain and simple, I cheated on him. I knew I was pregnant with liam before then and I got drunk. We did get in an argument, but I found comfort in someone else. chris didn’t deserve any of the hate or anger that he did. I just did it to save face. aria, I owe you an apology too for not being the best brother and never listening to you. I always thought I knew better when I didn’t. if I would have listened to you, none of this would have ever happened. I even treated ezra like shit, yet, you always treated chris well even defending him when it seemed everyone turn on him. you’re the best sister I could ask for and I know that little ella is going to have such a great mom… chris, I am so sorry about everything I did. I wish I could take it back and give you everything that you missed out on. Unfortunately I can’t do that but what I can do is make up for it. I am give you full custody and relinquishing my rights to liam. you will be a much better dad than I ever will. It’s the least that I can do besides I won’t fuck him up even more than I have. The only thing I asked is that you let my family remain in contact with him. they may have not acted the best towards you, but they didn’t know better. don’t punish them or blame them for my mistakes. Finally, chris, you probably won’t see this until you’re older but dadda loves you very much and I’m sorry that I left you. although if you were in my hands, I would ruin your life too. I know you’ll grow up to be great, take care of everyone especially papa who been through a lot. I love you all. Goodbye.”  He stopped recording, leaving a note to be played before zipping up his suitcase and making his way towards his car. mike took a finally look at his house before driving away and not looking back.

         two weeks later, mike found himself entering a diner for dinner. he lost track of where he was. ultimately just letting the road take him wherever. If he knew where he may be, there was a chance that he’ll want to go home to catch a glimpse of Liam, see how Chris is doing or even see his family. they all probably have moved on and forgotten about him. mike wondered how long it took anyone to realize he left. regardless, he missed them a lot and spent most of his nights crying in a very empty and cold bed. mike closed his eyes, taking breaths and not trying to work himself up when someone walked up to his table. At first, he thought it was the waitress, but it was the last person that he expected. when he saw their face, mike was reminded about everything that he had been trying to forget. “matthew.” he said in a tone that wasn’t welcoming or unwelcoming.  ‘mike, last place I expected to find you is in a small place like that. may I sit?’ he asked, before taking a seat across from mike.  there were a lot of questions to ask but most importantly why he was here. Before he even had a chance to ask, the other answer it. ‘i’ve been looking for you. don’t worry, no one but me knows that you’re here even my husband doesn’t.’ he said with a smile as mike looked down to see the ring on his finger. his heart broke when he saw that it was an identical ring to that of chris’ mother. It seemed they did end up getting married, while it hurt, mike was happy that chris was able to find happiness. “umm.. congrats.”  not wanting to talk to much about the topic. ‘thank you, but that’s not why I am here. I hate how I left things between us and how I treated you. especially now that I have so much to thank you for. anyways, chris would kill me if he knew I was here but I wanted to give you a thank you gift. I know how you want to start over and escape it all.  I want to help you with that by giving you money to start a life far away from your problems.’ the male pulled out an envelope that contained a bunch of cash. ‘here. I know a part of your heart remains home but there are things that you should know. I’m not saying them to hurt you but to put your mind at ease. I’ve become somewhat of a step-dad to little liam. he’s a great kid by the way. it was hard for him at first but he seems to have moved on. Chris hasn’t really mentioned or talked about you. the only thing he has said is that he hoped you found what you were looking for. your family is still very much involved in liam’s life, in fact, he has a playdate with little ella tomorrow.  all your request has been followed. the only person that hasn’t moved on is Jordan. He’s been actively looking for you but unlike him I have the resources and money to waste. I truly think that man is truly and utter in love with you. if he does find you, I suggest that you give him a chance. You two could be very happy together. enough about that, but I don’t want to see you hurt anymore, mike. I feel with everything you’ve been through that you deserve to be happy. Which is why I want to help with that. please take the money and go find yourself whether it be across the country, in a different country or continent.’  The other said sincerely. he couldn’t help to think about how everyone forgot him easily and moved on. “I guess this is goodbye then. please take care of liam and chris.”  he quickly left and hopped into his car where tears began falling from his eyes. he grabbed his disposable phone and made a call to someone he hadn’t spoken to in years. “hey, I know we haven’t spoken in a while but I need a favor and someone to talk to. yeah, I’m on the road, send me the direction and I’ll be there. It may take a few hours but I’ll be there, okay, thank you. I’ll see you soon.” meanwhile back at the diner, a grin appeared on matthew’s face as he removed the fake ring. everything that he told mike was a lie, and only to get him to permanently leave. with mike forever gone, chris would have no choice but to get back together. it would take some work but with remorse, forgiveness and a broken heart, matthew would get him. there just one more thing that he had to do to seal mike and chris never getting back together. he pulled out his phone to dial Jordan. ‘can you meet up somewhere, I have something that may interest you.’

         when he got the call, Jordan was skeptical especially when he heard what happened between matthew and mike.  not only had he heard it from the montgomery family but chris himself. that was an tense and interesting conversation on it’s own. Although both were doing their own investigation on where mike was. he was sure that the only reason it was civil was because they were hoping the other had something that may lead them to his location.  it seemed that a lot of things happened that night. the outcome ultimately leaving everyone broken. Liam having fallen into a depression which he heard from aria. they hadn’t told him that his dad abandoned him but went away for a bit. the kid wasn’t dumb and knew that his dad wouldn’t leave him behind or not be in constantly contact. The once happy kid was a shell of himself.  at this point, Jordan was doing it for the kid. he knew mike was probably hurting just as much. matthew may be another piece of the puzzle since he could fill in the gaps from when chris fell into the water and when he was saved.  As he gave his name to the host, Jordan was lead to a table where matthew was finishing his dinner. ‘ah, jordan, please take a seat. did you want something to eat? drink?’ the male shook his head, before speaking. ‘I’m just here because you said that you had something that may interest me?’ Jordan not having patience to deal with matthew right now. ‘yes.. I’ve been told that you’re looking for mike?’ a silence fell over them as things got tensed. ‘what if I told you I knew where he is or rather where he will be.’ The other male said it in such a taunting way that made his blood boil. ‘if you know where he is then tell me!’ he demanded in a hushed tone. ‘why so you can bring him back?  no.  I had a plan which he ruined by telling chris about his bastard so—’ ‘don’t call him that!’ Jordan interrupted him which matt rolled his eyes at.  ‘whatever. I have always been in love chris since I met him. unfortunately for me, him and mike were together and had been for a long time.  It was sick how much they were in love. I tried to make advances towards chris but he never saw them or choice to ignore them. anyways, have you wondered why those two broke up? it’s because I made it happened. the night that mike cheated, he wasn’t all there because he was drugged too.  his alcohol was laced with drug so when he said that he though that it was chris, well, he probably was seeing that. I made sure I got a look alike. I also made sure that I purposely pulled him away before sending him home when I knew they would be there. Everything happened as planned if not better. they broke up, and it was the end of it. that’s what I thought until a friend of mine that worked at the hospital had overheard that mike was pregnant. It wasn’t hard to figure out the identity since mike never actually slept with anyone. I had to make sure to make my move which worked. Although keeping mike’s pregnancy was harder than expected but when you come from money, it because easy. I knew about chris intent to propose since I am also in charge of the money and accounting part of his business. so I purposely went looking for it to help push things along. I didn’t get the ring but I feel like I got upgraded anyways. we were so close to getting married until they ran into each other. I’m sure you know how the rest happen. you’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this. It’s because I still have hope that things between me and chris could be repaired. that’s where you come in. I need mike to never return and be taken off the market. it won’t be easy since I need your commitment and loyalty. his whereabouts needs to be earned. You don’t have to give me an answer now and I’ll give you time to think about it. although if you tell anyone the deal is off and I’ll deny everything. This would be your one and only chance of ever finding him because now that he didn’t leave a trace, finding him will be almost impossible.’  It took everything not to lose his cool but Jordan had to play along. ‘you got my attention, tell me more.’ He said faking a wicked grin which was returned. two months later, following all of matthew plan, Jordan finally got mike’s location. He called the one person that he knew could help. ‘chris, I know that I am probably the last person that you want to talk to. although I feel like there are things you need to know. more importantly, I know where mike is and I think you need to be the one to talk to him and bring him home.’

#chris x mike -- 002 (self-para)

[hournites]

A lot of ways to love you (teach me through your eyes)

Hournite Week Day 7: Love Languages 

Summary: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, Touch. Or, Rick, Beth, and their many languages of love.

Thank you for coming along on this first HN week journey with me! ❤️

~.~

Words of Affirmation

  Beth found Rick by himself at the corner of their shared history class, carving his initials into the desk. She didn’t understand why he’d put himself there. It was like a brooding corner to be miserable. 

  “Hey,” she said, taking the seat in front of his desk. “What’s wrong?” 

  Rick dug deeper to splinter the wood. “They think I cheated on my chem test.” 

  Without asking, Beth unzipped Rick’s bag to pull out the test. Rick let her. 

  She gaped at him as she scanned over the F and comments from the teacher. He always treated Beth kindly when they passed in the halls, but she never actually had Mr. Geralds. Chemistry wasn’t her strong suit like Rick, but there wasn’t a doubt that she’d given some of the same answers with a great grade from the other science teacher. “Are you serious? That’s crazy. You’re going to contest that, right?”

  “You’re not going to even ask if I did?” 

  “I know you didn’t, you’re too smart.” 

  “I used to steal shit,” he muttered under his breath and dropped his pencil. “Haven’t heard you say I’m too smart for that.” 

  Beth slipped his test into her folder to return to at a later time, right now focusing on Rick. 

  “Hey, that’s not fair.” When Rick wouldn’t meet her eyes, she leaned in closer. “Look at me.” 

  Rick did. 

  “You know you deserved a good grade. And you’ve done what you did to get by.” She glanced at the vandalism briefly. “There are people here who know you’re better than what the majority of the town thinks.” She lowered her voice to keep her next words between them. “You’re a hero. You’ve helped save everyone in this town. So show them who you really are.” 

  She smiled when he let out a small huff, she knew he was listening. “I’ll go to the principal’s office with you, and we can get Pat to vouch for us. We both know that for Chem you should be in AP.” 

  “It’s really not that big of a deal,” he lied, shifting uncomfortably from all her nice words. 

  “If it weren’t a big deal, you wouldn’t have done that.” She pointed at the roughened mess he’d made of the school desk. “I know you better than you think.” 

  Act of Service 

  “Has anyone seen Beth?” 

  Rick walked around the main area of Pat’s cabin. It was after 2 AM. Barbara and Jennie were making late-night comfort food in the kitchen. Pat was manning the first aid station, tending to Mike, Jakeem and Yolanda’s injuries from Sportsmaster. Courtney was bonding or something with the staff in some strange ritual she had after a life-threatening mission. Rick just stepped out of the shower, washing the grime from his arms and face. 

  “She’s upstairs, I think!” Yolanda called, holding her ribs from her seat on top of the table. Rick shook his head when Pat admonished her not to yell. Rick made it up the stairs two at a time, stopping when he found Beth with her packed school bag on the floor in front of the couch. She was searching through papers, openly crying. She hadn’t even taken her cape off yet. 

  Rick crouched down beside her. “Hey,” he said softly. She looked utterly exhausted. “Are you okay? You said you didn’t get hurt.” 

“I’m not hurt.” She hiccuped, flipping through more papers, a little hysterical. It looked like it was for school. “I can’t find my math assignment. It’s due tomorrow morning.”

  “Did you finish it?” he asked. 

  “I don’t remember.” She wiped at her tears as she cried harder. “I might’ve left it at home, I can’t find it. I’m too tired, I can’t think.” 

  “Yeah,” Rick agreed. His bones were weary but he had always felt the least affected after battling it out with the ISA. He suffered plenty of superficial cuts and bruises, but he hardly felt them because his hourglass really protected him. He couldn’t imagine the hit the night must’ve taken on Beth’s body. Pat was going to be driving them back to main Blue Valley at 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning to get them back to school. It wasn’t ideal, but it was a random Wednesday. It’s not like they had a choice. 

  “Did you ask Chuck?” 

  “No.” Her lip wobbled, face contorting into another sob. Rick regretted asking. It was clear she was far too drained. It would’ve been simple to have asked Chuck to scan her bag to find out, but she hadn’t thought of it. 

  “Okay, okay,” Rick said. “Go to bed. You’re not going to be able to do the homework now even if you found it.” Rick got up to get to the top of the stairs, calling down for Barbara. 

  When he returned, he helped her up and managed to get her to let go of her school bag. “We’ll look for it before we leave, okay?” Rick ran a hand through his damp hair, his own eyelids started to droop. “I promise you’ll get it done before school.” 

  Barb joined them upstairs and coaxed Beth to change out of her suit, leading her downstairs with her regular clothes and a promise of a warm bed and tea. 

  Rick followed to grab Chuck when Beth wasn’t looking, turning him on once alone to help identify if this alleged math homework was even in her bag. Together they found what she was talking about. Ten problems of pre-calc. She was right. It was rushed and not done. 

  Rick sighed, tucking it under his arm. He said goodnight to the rest and retired to his assigned room. He turned on the lamp on the desk where he first solved the code of his father’s journal, spreading out the assignment and using Chuck as a calculator. It dawned on him an hour later as he rubbed at his tired eyes how he would be staying up all night to finish homework that wasn’t even his. 

  Gifts 

  Beth was immersed in her book when two hands landed on her collarbone. She looked down, touching the skin at the opening of her shirt when she felt the weight of something new at the base of her throat.

  “What’s this?”

  Rick murmured in her ear from behind. “An early birthday present.”

  She let out a soft gasp when he finished with the clasp. A tiny brass hourglass pendant with sand just like Hourman’s trickled steadily beside her rainbow pendant. 

  “Woah.” She glanced up at him. “You got me an hourglass?” She bit down on her lip, dread creeping into her mind when she realized this had to be expensive. She struggled to voice what she was feeling out loud, but Rick must’ve caught the complicated expression on her face. He smoothed his hand along the sleeve of her cardigan and reassured her the cost didn’t push him into any kind of financial ruin. 

  “Did you not realize I’ve been working for Pat before school? I had some spare cash. Trust me, there’s nothing better I’d spend my money on.” 

  The puzzle clicked into place. Beth had been meeting Rick at the Pit Stop every morning before school for what felt like months now. It made sense he was there to work on the cars. Beth felt her face heat up at his implicit soft-spoken confession. “Thank you,” she said in a whisper, still in awe. The necklace was beautiful and she felt fuzzy ever since his hands were on her neck. “I love it.”

  His eyes, usually hardened and defensive, skilled at warding off unwanted attention, now creased at the corners. Gentle, quiet, yearning, he watched her accept his gift. “I’m glad.”

  Impulsively she asked, “Could you unclasp the rainbow one?”

  Rick did. The chain pooled in her palm. She shook her head, pushing it to his chest. “You should have it.”

  His brows furrowed in response. “You want to give me your... rainbow necklace?”

  She flushed when he said it like that. She toyed with her new one, looking at him from beneath her lashes. “Well…” she said. “I have something of you, now you can have a symbol of me.”

  Rick let out a small laugh. Beth was pretty sure if this were anyone else he’d say it was stupid, so she couldn’t help the surge of pride when he nestled her necklace around his own neck. 

  “How does it look?” 

  It was actually twisted. She flattened it so it would look the way it was supposed to over the collar of his shirt. Rick didn’t complain, but it was bright and cheery and clashed with his entire self. Beth bit her lip, withholding another laugh, and took pity on him, changing her mind to tuck the necklace underneath. “Perfect now.” 

  “Beth, I hate to interrupt this moment but you will be late for school if you don’t leave the Pit Stop in the next five minutes.”

  Chuck broke them out of their weird double transfixion. They both found themselves smiling shyly at each other, neither truly wanting to move. 

  “Come on,” he said after another few moments of them smiling at each other without moving. “Put your bike in my trunk. I’ll drive you.”

  Quality Time

  When Rick stopped by at Beth’s locker, she was talking to Charity, a new close friend she made over the summer volunteering at the Blue Valley Community Centre. 

  “Hey,” Rick greeted, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, waiting for Beth to visit. 

  “Hey,” Charity said back. She swept her blonde bangs out of her face to continue their conversation. 

  “Charity had a great idea that we should enter for the sustainability case competition,” Beth filled in.  

  “We’re going to need at least a month to prepare. I was thinking we could meet Tuesdays and Thursdays after school?” 

  Rick stuck a hand in his pocket, sullen. Thursdays were their days, unofficially. Not that they’ve ever said so out loud, but with JSA training afternoons the rest of the week, Beth working on a case competition their days off basically meant not getting to see her. Which was fine. It happened. Rick just wishes it didn’t have to. 

  “I can’t on Thursdays,” Beth told her. She glanced up at Rick to give him a smile. He straightened up, meeting her gaze with obvious surprise. “Those are our nights.” 

  Charity paused, watching the two with curious eyes. 

  “We can cancel,” Rick found himself saying and actually meaning it. “You don’t have to stay on my account.” 

  Beth’s nose scrunched up as she shook her head, mind already made. “Nah. Sorry Charity, Thursday doesn’t work for me. Take out your schedule, maybe we have a shared free period somewhere.” 

  “Oh, yeah, sure! Okay!” 

  Rick ducked his head to hide his smile as Charity fished through her bag for her agenda.

  Touch 

  When Beth stumbled out of the cell she’d been bound in, she hadn’t realized just how long she’d been gone. She was hungry and exhausted and felt horrifically dirty in her soiled Dr. Mid-Nite suit, but then she got a glimpse of Hourman nearly pushing the others in his rush to get to her all she could feel was relief. 

  Rick cupped her face, eyes squeezed shut as he held her close, his thumbs brushed along her cheeks, under her dry eyes. She felt the buzz of adrenaline rushing through him just by being so near, but the way he touched her was gentle, so gentle.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he whispered, a startling unfamiliar word to fall in succession like that, coming from Rick. His hands flew to the crown of her cowl, tugging it down to kiss her forehead again and again. “Thank you.” 

  I’m okay now, she tried to comfort him, though her words were choked, smothered out by the crushing weight of it all. He was crying as his lips brushed over her face. It wasn’t his stamina. The buzz, she felt. Rick was shaking. It hit her then, that maybe he wasn’t sure Beth was ever going to come back. Beth had scared him. He was scared.  

Beth vaulted with her tired, numb legs, reaching to wrap her arms around his neck. Her mind went calm for the first time since before they left home, muscles relaxing as she let Rick scoop her up. 

  She was safe. She was home.

Beth was loved. 

#hournite week #hournite #hournite week 21 #hournites fic #love languages #fluff #hurt/comfort #i'm proud of this one

[ma-gic-gay]

Death had always been a finite concept. For both of them, presumably, but especially for Carly. Death was something she had to deal with far too regularly for her tastes (comes with the territory when you have a habit of marrying mobsters), despite her hatred of it.

Shootings, she could handle. And did, shockingly well. Despite the fact she couldn't handle being in a stable situation for more than a day, she was great in a crisis.

Of course, the fact she had Jason there was helpful. She felt unsafe, she called him and it was like she had her own personal body guard. It was, in a very strange way, nice to know he wouldn't hesitate to kill for her and has done it repeatedly in the past.

The deaths of the people who tried to kill her (or him, especially him- she prayed those bastards got the worst treatment they could) were the only ones she could handle.

It's a bit ironic she got killed from a shooting, three hours and twenty three minutes after Jason died, in a weird way. She always said she'd kill for him (realistically she knew he'd lose his shit if she ever did that because he's overprotective and hasn't taught her how to use a gun), and that's exactly what she did. He got shot right in front of her, she grabbed his gun while he was yelling at her not to and shot the person.

Slight problem though, she too got shot. Whoopsie daisies.

Getting shot fucking hurt. She was in and out of consciousness when she was at the hospital and no one would tell her about Jason's condition. They were married, for fuck's sakes, why the fuck wasn't anyone telling her how her husband was doing?!

Eventually, someone (probably Monica, she can't remember) told her he was dead. They got to him too late, they said, he'd been doa and their best efforts hadn't revived him.

After hearing that, she couldn't live with herself. He got shot because Vince was trying to shoot her and off he went to be her hero and make everything okay and he got killed. One phone call and he was at the Metro Court, hanging out with her and keeping watch when he noticed Vince in the parking lot and went out there to confront him. Vince pointed a gun at Carly and, of course, since Jason's a self sacrificing person, he died.

Which meant she was directly responsible for his death and that rocked her to her very core. She'd failed him. After twenty five years, she failed him. Even he'd have to admit this one. There was no spin on this (and she'd heard some strange ones over the years) for how she'd be able to live with herself after she failed him. It wasn't like she'd done something stupid, no, she got him killed. Carly knew he'd do something, especially since Vince was a dick, and she told him. Did he deserve to know? Yes. But only after she'd reassured his overprotective streak she'd be fine and he didn't have to kill anyone else for her.

According to something she'd heard from the doctors, in whatever fucking limbo this was, Carly had died of a heart attack. Likely brought on by stress. Bullets were fine but hearing of Jason's death killed her.

Yup, makes sense. Well, she'll be able to apologize for all of eternity once she gets to wherever she's going. Even after he forgives her (which, she's being honest, will happen as soon as they see each other), she's going to apologize and apologize.

Ooh, she gets to see Sonny and Morgan too! Her son and husband and best friend for all of eternity. What could be better?

There's something that vaguely looks like an angel and she notices it drags her up. Huh, guess she's going to heaven. Makes sense, Carly's a fairly good person. She's not a terrible one.

Except when she gets there she only finds Morgan and Courtney (Courtney, oh how she missed her), no Jason anywhere. Where the hell was he? Avoiding a party, probably. She has got to get him to go out more, especially now that nothing can probably happen. What are the rules of death?

"Where's Jason?" Carly asks after greeting the pair. They stare blankly until she asks again, "Where is he? He's here, right? I was told he's dead!"

Courtney's the first one to be stunned out of her shock. "Carly, he, um, didn't make the cut."

"For what? Give me that list, I'm adding his name at the very top. Where the fuck is he?" She exclaims. He's here, he's got to be here.

"You're aware of his job, right?" Is she aware of his job, of course she is!

"Yes, Courtney, it's why we got married. Where the hell is he? Or Sonny, or Mike!"

"Mike's taking a nap and Sonny's not dead." What?! "Or, if he is, he didn't make the cut either." Didn't make the cut for what? Carly will scheme, steal, seduce, lie and cheat go get those two up here with her, where the fuck are they?

"Because of Jason's job and the amount of people he killed, he didn't make the cut to heaven. He's in hell." Is it possible to die twice? She might just do that. He's in hell, which is a place for bad people! Her hero is in hell.

She's gonna kill someone. "I'm not perfect! None of us are perfect, I killed someone! Why the hell aren't we down there? He died defending me!"

"Shocking," Morgan says dryly. "Jason killed people for a living. He was a mobster."

"And I'm an accessory to all of that! I lead the mob for a week or two!" Carly exclaims. "He's a good person, we know that."

"We're not in charge of the decisions, Carly," Courtney attempts to comfort her best friend. It's a nice attempt. "That's for people with a lot more clout than us. If it was up to either of us, I promise he'd be here but you'll never see him again."

Never see him again? Oh hell no. "Is there any way to get sent down to hell with him?" This is impulsive and reckless and Jason wouldn't encourage it but she's got less care. She needs to see her best friend again, goddammit."Some paperwork I can file, some people's husband's I can seduce?"

"Someone can submit you for reevaluation."

"Great! Is Emily here?" Emily hates her, she'll surely want to help!

"Somewhere, yeah. Why?"

"Emily hates me. Can't blame her. Anyways, look, I want to help her write my reevaluation. I've ruined a lot of lives."

"Which Jason has always helped you feel better about."

"That's because he's my best friend, Morgan."

The next few weeks are spent making sure every single one of her transgressions is on the list and resubmitting her,,, whatever the hell it's called, Emily never gave details.

So it's really not a surprise when she's dragged down to hell by some gross creature, waving goodbye to her son and Courtney and sister in law (that's a weird thing to think about).

And when she gets there, it's just like a darker version of heaven. It's the same fucking place (away from the fire), just more her color palette. Weird.

"Excuse me, where's Jason Morgan?" She asks the creature who dragged her down here. "I was informed he'd be down here."

A shrug is all she gets in response. Well then, she's able to roll with the punches and searches up and down for him, eventually finding him in a room without decorations or anything but basic necessities.

She's got some decorating on her hands.

Carly walks right through the half opened door (he really didn't lock it? Weirdo) and gets the response of, "Get out."

"Don't expect me to start knocking just because we're dead," she quips, a smile on her face. Knocking is overrated. He looks normal and as he registers what's going on, he gets all squinty.

Once he actually realizes it's her, she's already half attacked him in a hug that he reciprocates. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Little bit of bargaining, Emily's assistance and voila! You'd be amazed at how many bad things I've done. Everyone sends their love, of course. Are there any stores down here? This room is so boring," she changes the subject.

"No, I mean why are you dead? You're supposed to be alive."

"I died three hours and twenty three minutes after you. Heart attack. Monica told me about you dying. No one else would." That was a very bad time when he was dead and she wasn't.

"Does this mean-"

"No, you are not responsible for my death. If anything, I'm responsible for yours. I'm sorry, more than you'll ever know," Carly tells him, eyes welling up with tears.

"You're not responsible. I got shot. It happens." Way too nonchalant for death.

"Because you were defending me, like always. Seriously, take a nice vacation off of that and start using your survival instincts. I don't have Emily to help me this time if I need to transfer afterlives."

"I was defending the business."

"Bullshit. I told you Vince threatened me and you already planned to kill him. You saw your opportunity and instead of shooting him, you got shot and died. This is my fault, 100%, and I will not let you make me feel better about this. You could've patched things up with Britt, hung out with a bunch of people but no, you had to die protecting me. Take a week off of being my hero, please."

"I'm not going to do that. The last time I thought about it, you took over the business."

"Well I can't just ask you to forgive me, so take a day off."

"You'll get kidnapped. And I don't hold you responsible because it was my choice to defend you and my choice to want to kill Vince."

"You're overprotective and it's nice but not when it kills you."

"You spent twenty five years running off every woman in my life because you were convinced they'd hurt me, you hated a ton of people because they did something to me and you almost committed several felonies. And I'm overprotective," he rolls his eyes.

"Not the point, first off and second, you've killed and kidnapped for me. In a very fucked up way, it's sweet. And you totally ran off the men in my life!"

"How did I do that?"

"By being the only person I can depend on. I don't know, look, they've all- except for Sonny, most of the time- hated you because you intimidated them. So you did the same thing, just not on purpose."

"Then it's not the same thing."

"How did we get so off topic? I'm sorry for being the reason you're dead. Do you forgive me?" Strange sentences.

"You're not why I'm dead, I made that choice-"

"You chose to die?"

"I meant the choice to jump in front of you."

"Which was instinctual, you've always protected me."

"Might have to do that even more down here. There's some real creeps."

"I really don't think they'll care that much. But okay."

"Vince is here."

"No revenge."

"He killed you and I'm just supposed to sit here and ignore that he did that?!"

"Maybe we can talk this all out."

"Carly, what part of this aren't you understanding? He killed you. I hurt him, that's how this works, so he knows better than to mess with you."

"Or we could go shop for decor. I'll pick out nice stuff, come on let's go!"

"I'm not going shopping. I'm planning revenge."

"It'll be safer if you're there with me."

"I hate it when you're right."

"Love you too."

"Love you."

The end fuckers :)

oh it's beautiful. thank you for this

#tw guns #tw gunshot #tw shooting #swear tw #hospital tw #death tw

[mst3kproject]

She Freak

Oh, boy, this is going to be a fucking delight.  If the 1932 movie Freaks were Invasion of the Saucer Men, She Freak would be Attack of the The Eye Creatures.  Freaks is a very troubling movie, but it does go to great effort to present the denizens of the sideshow as human beings who can be loving, greedy, heartbroken, or naïve as much as anyone else, and who find family in each other when the rest of the world rejects them – and must be very careful who they let into that club.  The horror of the story is derived as much from their predicament as from the fate of Cleopatra.  She Freak is… not like that.

A woman named Jade Cochrane works at a little diner somewhere in the south, quietly (and sometimes not-so-quietly) enduring sexual harassment from both the customers and her married boss.  Wanting more out of life, she quits her job and goes looking for work at a passing carnival, which she figures will at least allow her to travel.  From there she sets her sights on marrying Steve St. John, the owner of the freak show and the richest man connected with this community. Unfortunately for everybody around her, even this very moderate form of power corrupts Jade to the core, and after too much of her mistreatment, the sideshow stars take a horrible revenge!

The opening sequence is a bunch of carnival footage in which everybody looks bored, worryingly reminiscent of both Carnival Magic and MUZ.  Even worse, quite a bit of it is shot by somebody sitting on a moving ferris wheel or other midway ride.  I’ve never been able to enjoy midway rides because I get motion sickness (I can’t see J. J. Abrams movies in theatres for the same reason), so this was not a fun experience for me, even on my tiny laptop screen.  It goes on way too long, and most of it doesn’t even have any credits over it.  Crow would have fled to go throw up in a corner.

The moment I knew She Freak belonged on MST3K, however, is this shot:

What the hell does that sign say?  YHJCY A+ FTJB?  What does it mean?  Is it an acronym?  A secret code?  An in-joke? A message to or from aliens?  That would have fascinated Mike and the ‘bots.  They’d have built a whole host sketch around that sign.

She Freak is tooth-rattlingly bad in many different ways.  I don’t know what any of the people in it think they’re doing but it sure isn’t acting.  It’s relentlessly padded, full of pointless footage of putting the midway up, taking the midway down, putting the midway back up again, and carnival-goers wandering around looking dazed.  At one point we have to watch a stripper do her act, to a chorus of background hooting and applause that sure isn’t coming from the bored-to-shit audience we see.  Most of the film feels like nothing is happening, and then what ought to have been the entire plot is crammed into the last fifteen minutes.

The one place where there is a glimmer of competence is in a couple of quite nice directing choices.  There’s a scene where Jade leaves her new husband with his buddies and sneaks off to bang the guy who runs the ferris wheel, Blackie (don’t worry, he’s white. She Freak has a little person called ‘Shorty’, but to my relief it wasn’t tasteless enough to cast a character named ‘Blackie’ as an African American) that makes a very good use of shadows to tell us what’s going on in two places at once.  Pity the film stock is so crappy it almost ruins it.  I also liked how Jade’s scenes with Blackie have proper dialogue, while Steve woos her in a series of montages.  Jade wants to spend time with Blackie, while her marriage to Steve is something she goes through the motions of and gets out of the way.

She Freak really has no right to tout itself as a remake of Freaks, for the simple reason that it isn’t even about the sideshow.  The older movie had characters like Hans the dwarf and Daisy and Violet the conjoined twins, who were people with relationships and roles in the plot.  In She Freak we never even see the sideshow that so upsets Jade in an early scene.  There’s Shorty, the little guy in a cowboy hat who works for the carnival, but when we see him he’s acting like he’s Steve’s friend and assistant rather than one of the exhibits.  An armless woman and a few people in funny makeup appear at the climax, but we’ve never seen them before and we have no idea who they are.  Where the hell is the ‘Alligator Girl’ the banners promised?

It’s probably all for the best.  If there had been any ‘unusual people’ with major roles in the movie it would doubtless have treated them in a disgusting and exploitative manner.  But what’s on screen shouldn’t even pretend to be a remake of Freaks.

As the owner of the sideshow, Steve insists that he cares about his employees and considers them ‘human beings, just like you and me’. He tells Jade that many of them came from abusive homes, and that in his show they’re able to earn a living and be around others who won’t judge them.  This is a reasonably noble sentiment, but what we are subsequently shown is somewhat at odds with it.  Steve says his employees are also his friends, but he hangs out and plays cards with the other carnies, not with them.  When Shorty tells him that Jade is cheating on him, Steve slaps him like he would a misbehaving child.  This is not how people treat friends and equals.

You may have guessed where this is heading: in one of my favourite running complaints, yep, we have nobody to root for in this movie.  We’re probably supposed to like Steve, but he’s bland and his actions don’t agree with his words insisting he’s a nice, compassionate guy. The character from whose point of view we see the events is of course Jade, but Jade is the villain of the movie and we’re watching it to see her hubris destroy her.  That means the protagonists ought to be the sideshow people themselves, but since we never actually meet them, their revenge is meaningless. In this context they are not human beings, they are not characters, they are merely what Jade has been calling them all along: monsters.

(Shorty, by the way, is played by Felix Silla, who is the closest thing this movie has to a star. He was Cousin Itt on the Addams Family TV show.)

She Freak presents us with several reasons why we ought to dislike Jade.  She’s introduced working at the greasy little diner, where she turns down a date first with a customer and then with her boss.  The customer accepts this gracefully but the boss does not.  The scene tries to show us Jade as an uppity bitch who thinks she’s too good for other people, but her boss is such a slimy toad that we have to take her side.  She tells us how her mother married too young and lost any chance at her own dreams, and while Claire Brennan is a terrible actress, the story is one that inspires sympathy.  When Jade seizes on the carnival as her chance for escape she becomes downright pathetic.  I mean, how awful is your life if a travelling midway and sideshow seems like a step up in the world?

Of course, as the movie continues we find that Jade really is just a snotty bitch whose idea of ‘getting more out of life’ is having a rich husband to carry her bags when she goes shopping. She sees others only as what they can provide to her – Steve for money, Blackie for sex.  This attitude blinds her to others’ true intentions.  She is entirely oblivious to the fact that Blackie is an abusive bastard or that Steve honestly loves her.  The lesson of the movie seems to be ‘beware of women who want more out of life.’  She should have known her place!

This is a pretty nasty attitude towards women but there are other female characters who are treated a bit better.  Pat the stripper tried marriage and domesticity and didn’t like it.  She seems to enjoy working at the carnival and is gregarious and kind-hearted.  We’re invited to leer at her performance but she’s presented as much less trashy than Jade, who considers herself above such things. Pat continues to try to be a friend to Jade for as long as she can, and keeps giving her second chances long after it should be obvious that Jade isn’t interested in reciprocating her kindness. There’s also Olga the fortune-teller, who needed to support herself after her husband died.  The three of them even manage to have conversations that pass the Bechdel test.  In a movie called She-Freak that’s almost impressive.

The ending of She Freak is the only place where it really even seems inspired by Freaks.  The sideshow employees take their revenge on Jade, and we see her on display in the sideshow, licking a snake and wearing some unconvincing Harvey Dent makeup.  This is supposed to feel like justice, in that she has become what she most hated, but it’s been so watered down by the movie’s refusal to humanize the sideshow, or even to show us Jade interacting with them at all, that it has no power to horrify.  It’s a big letdown after the opening scene that promised us a horrible freak that was once a human being.  Why does her burned side have an elf ear?

Invasion of the Saucer Men was not a good movie, at all, but it still deserved better than Attack of the The Eye Creatures.  It’s up for debate whether Freaks was technically ‘good’ but it was an ambitious film with much to say about how human beings treat one another and about the eugenics movement of the 1930s.  In fact, the US National Film Registry considers Freaks one of the most significant films ever made, and it currently boasts a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes.  The fact that writer David Friedman claimed She Freak was a remake of Freaks just proves that, like the audiences who booed that film in 1932, he never bothered to understand it.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #she freak #tw: abelism #all carnival no magic #60s

[spnwriter]

Maybe he doesn’t want to take the chance.

AN: there is a slight sexual theme to this one, it’s talked about but nothing graphic. just a warning. <3

I  should have known better. Hunters don't get the apple pie life. We don't get a happily ever after. Dating isn't something hunters get to do. I was only hunting part-time, trying to get out of the life but it's never easy. I grew up in it, my dad had me hunting as soon as I could hold a gun. After he died, I killed the werewolf that killed him. Unfortunately, the whole pack came after me so I didn't end up getting out. I slowly started to taper off how often I took cases. So I figured I'd try to date, have a semi-normal life...it wasn't working. I had been seeing this amazing guy, Mikey. I hadn't told him what I do on the side but, I have a feeling he'd take it well. Things were going swimmingly. I really thought that he could the reason I get out of the life. No such luck, I got home from a hunt and found a skinny little blonde on top of him. And just like that my happily ever after goes up in smoke. He said it was because I was never around. He had needs that I couldn't cater to so I broke his nose before getting in my car. I drove as fast and as far as I could before the tears started blinding my vision. I pull over on the side of the road allowing the sobs to take over my body. I actually thought he loved me. He said he did but then again, everybody lies. I just so happened to be on the other side of one this time. I suppose it's some kind of cosmic karma for lying as much as I do in the hunting life. I slam my hands against the steering wheel as anger fills my body. How dare he? We were together for a year tomorrow. I didn't hunt that often, in fact, I was hardly gone at all. Maybe a couple of days once a month. Dear God why me? Why can't I be happy? A sob wrecks through my body. I tried to hard. I tried to have a 'normal' life. I wanted that, why can't I have that? My thoughts drift, I wonder if it'd be uncalled for is I went back and shot him? I mean like in the knee or something...

. “Maybe a little.” a gruff voice says from behind me. 

  I jump turning around to stare into familiar ocean blue eyes. 

  “Cas! You scared the shit out of me!” I snap at the angle in my back seat as I wipe the tears from my eyes. 

  “My apologizes, I heard your prayer and wanted to check on you.” Cas explains looking at me through the rearview mirror.

“I didn't pray.” 

  “Not in the normal way no but I did hear you.” Cas sighs placing a hand on my shoulder before we arrive at the bunker. 

Sam and Dean are sat at the library table. They both look up at us when we appear in the room. 

  “What happened?” Sam asks standing quickly to rush over to me. He inspects my body for injuries, gently cupping my jaw in his hands as his eyes scan my body. I reach up grabbing his wrists. Sam and I had always been close. Since I met him the younger Winchester and I got along well. Alright, alright I may have a small (massive) crush on the tall hunter but who wouldn't? Sam is such a sweetheart, so caring and eyes on the eyes. I know he'd never like me back so I settle for being his friend. I'd rather have him in my life in a  platonic way than not at all. These three men around me have always been there for me. They're my family. This is where I had planned on going before Cas zapped me here. I knew this was the place I could get my head back on straight. Heal and not be judged for it. 

  “I'm not injured Sammy.” I whisper as his eyes soften at the notice of the dried tears on my face. 

  “Mike cheated on her.” Cas exclaims “She was in her car crying, she prayed.”

“Cas!” I sigh “Come on.” 

  Sam is quick to wrap his arms around me, holding me tight. He places a gentle kiss on my cheek before whispering “You deserve so much better. I'm sorry he did that you.” 

  “I'm going to kill him.” Dean exclaims loudly before grabbing his gun and walking towards me. 

  Sam lets me go as I say “Hey if anyone gets to shoot his ass it's me.”

Dean is quick to replace Sam. He wraps his arms around me. “I'm sorry Kid. I know you loved him.” Dean whispers kissing the side of my head before walking back to the table. The thing is, I didn't love him. I liked him but, I could never love him the way I love Sam. No one could ever hold a candle to the younger Winchester. I suppose that's why I was with Mikey in the first place, to get over him but, it didn't work. I just kept comparing them and I ended up getting heartbroken anyway.

Sam takes my hand in his, leading me to his room. He shuts the door behind us as I flop on his bed. He laughs lightly before taking the spot next to me. He turns his head towards me asking “Do you want to talk about it?” I frown looking at the ceiling. 

  “I'm starting to question my choice in men. I ended up being destroyed physically, emotionally and I don't understand. Love is supposed to heal you but it doesn't do that for me. I've been cheated on more times than I can count, I've been replaced with someone better, I was lied to by the person I love. He said he loved me. He didn't though. Love fucking destroyed me. In the end I'm left wondering if I'm good enough. Maybe I too blind to see the real me. What if the real me isn't good enough? Maybe love does heal but I'm just not good enough? Maybe I'm the reason he cheated and chose someone better, prettier, thinner. Maybe I'm the reason he didn't love me. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's all my fault.” I vent, allowing my insecurities to show. 

  “Y/N, look at me.” Sam says voice gentle

. I turn to face the hazel eyes I love so much. He frowns at me placing a hand on the side of my face. 

  “You are not the problem. It isn't your fault he cheated. You didn't do anything wrong. You are an amazing woman. You are a beautiful, kind strong woman. He just didn't see it. It's his fault, not yours.” Sam whispers. “As for him picking someone 'better' I don't think it's possible. Yeah, she may have been thinner than you but, that doesn't make her better than you.” “He said he did it because I was gone too much. He had needs that I couldn't meet...” I hesitate not wanting to voice what I was actually thinking about what Mikey had said. Yes, Sam and I were best friends and yeah we had talked about sex before but never alone. It's always been with Dean present. Mostly because he's the one who brings it up. I really don't want to have this conversation with him but at the same time, I really need to voice this stuff. I can't let it sit in my head and overwhelm me. 

  “Was he trying to imply that you didn't meet his needs...” Sam asks, confusion in his voice. 

  “I think so...I don't know I really didn't stick around to hear an explanation.” 

  “A  relationship isn't all about sex Y/N. If you weren't meeting his needs he should have talked to you about it not cheated on you. I mean if he got off he shouldn't have any complaints.” 

  “By that logic I should have been the one having complaints.” I joke, not thinking that I just admitted that Mikey never got me off in our entire almost year relationship. 

  “Wait, you're telling me he never got you off? “ Sam sits up suddenly causing me to follow his actions turning my body to face him. “Like ever?”

“Kind of an awkward conversation Sammy.” I blush

“No, no, you brought it up. I want to know.” 

  “If you really must know no he never did,” I admit.

“You guys were together for a year.” Sam utters, obviously trying to wrap his head around the new information he'd just been told. 

  “Believe me, I know.” 

  “Did he never go down on you or something?” Sam asks, unashamed of how personal of a question that was. 

  “Sam!” 

  “Come on, we've known each other forever. We can talk about sex. Especially when it's bashing you ex douche bag.” I give in, knowing I can't really say no to him. I sigh before bringing my legs to sit with them under me. 

  “Once and I didn't...you know so he figured I didn't like it...truth is it was awful.” 

  “So foreplay consisted of what?” Sam asks moving to sit against the headboard. 

  “Nothing really. Some dry humping, light fingering but only enough to make sure I was ready for the main event.” I shrug. 

  “You're kidding me right? Did you ever give him head as foreplay?”

“Yeah, all the time.”   

“And yet he wouldn't go down on you.” 

  “I don't know, the sex was never amazing.” I sigh 

  “Yeah sounds like it.” Sam huffs “So what? You had to finish yourself off?” 

  I nod “Usually after he'd gone to bed or in the shower.” 

  “So you haven't had an orgasm that wasn't given to yourself since you've been with that asshole?” 

  “Hum, I guess not.” I hadn't really thought of it like that to be honest. 

  “How did you survive?” 

  “A bit dramatic Sam but, I had toys to help. Was quite fond of my vibrator for quick but if I had the time...I dragged out the Bruce.” I admit, not knowing why I couldn't stop the word vomit coming out of my mouth. Sam's eyebrows shoot up as he observed me. 

  “And Bruce is?” Sam asks licking his lips. 

  “Oh that's my nine inch dildo.” Was I really about to talk about my toy collection with my best friend and secret crush? Guess I am.

  “And it was bigger than Mikey?” He asks eyes not leaving mine

“Oh yeah by a lot.” I don't look away from his eyes. What the hell is going on? 

“So he was small and bad in bed?” 

  I nod still not looking away from the hunter before me. Something in the air as we stay looking at each other. Something in his eyes I haven't seen when he looks at me. No one says anything as we just openly check out each other. 

  “So...why did you stay with him?” He asks, voice soft.

  “Honestly?” I pause finally breaking eye contact, eyes trained on my hands in my lap. “I was trying to get over a guy that'd never feel the same.” 

  “How do you know he'd never feel the same?” 

  I looking up  “I'm not good enough for him.” 

  “Maybe he thinks the same...and that's why he never showed any interest?” 

  “Why would he think that? He could have anyone he wants?” I ask understanding we're dancing around our feelings. 

  “Maybe the woman he wanted was with someone else and he thought he'd never get his chance.” 

  “Maybe the guy she was with messed up and he does get his chance after all.” “What if he's scared to take that chance?” I can see the hesitation in his features as he eyes me. I smile slowly crawling over to sit in front of him. 

  “Maybe he doesn't have to be the one to take the chance.” I smirk before climbing in his lap, legs on either side on his slim hips. His hands grasp my hips quickly. “

Y/N.” Sam starts looking down at me. 

“D-did did I read the situation wrong?” I ask suddenly insecure at my bold assumption that it was, in fact, me he was talking about. “Not at all...I just want to make sure that we are on the same page here.” The fear leaving my mind as I understand he wants us to be opened about our feelings rather than continuing to dance around them. “I'm in love with you. Have been since that salt and burn two years ago.” I smile “Dean was hurt and couldn't go with you, it was the first hunt we did just us.”

 Sam smiles “Yeah, I remember that hunt. I dragged it out so that I could spend more time with you, but when I realized I loved you is when you almost died on that werewolf hunt...If Cas wasn't there...” 

  “Don't think like that Sam. I'm alive.” He doesn't respond instead he presses his lip against mine. We both smile into the kiss before he pulls away resting his forehead on mine “I love you.” “I love you too.” 

  “Be mine?” 

  “I always was.”

#sam winchester imagine #supernatural imagine #spn imagine

[iheardarumorxxx]

Midnight Sun, Chapter 5 - Invitations

This chapter opens up with Weirdo doing what he does best, whining.

In particular, he’s whining this time about how school is hell. Oh, it’s not boring anymore, not just a coma that he has to suffer through to appear normal, but actual genuine hell. He has to be around Bella all the time, you see. He has to exist in the same space as her and it is just misery and woe.

Except, and this is a point that I was going to make back in chapter one when Jasper was doing his freaky little spazz thing about all the tasty good hoomans around them, the Cullens don’t actually HAVE to suffer through the inane slog of Forks High. Think about it for a second. As far as anyone in town knows, Carlisle is a respected doctor (Dr. Kevorkian, but so far he hasn’t been that bad here), and Esme is a soft delicate happy homemaker mama. So why the fuck do they bother going to the public high school? Why would it be out of the realm of posibility to say that Esme home-schools the kids? It keeps them away from the teenagers who could be in very real danger having a bunch of Pire classmates, and it literally leaves them to their own devices. If they wanna spend a week up in Alaska (Weirdo) then no one is going to be the wiser, because they live on the edge of town and the only one with any actual ties to the community at large is Dr, Carlisle. 

Maybe they do it because they get bored just being around one another all the time. But everything we’ve seen in the text tells us that even at school, they only hang out with each other and go out of their way to avoid the rest of the school population. It tracks as yet another selfish thing that the Cullens are doing, putting the teenagers of Forks High at risk because they wanna go to normal school, even though they don’t have to.

I’m not even a paragraph in and I just ranted for two. This chapter recap might be a long one, guys.

I'd comforted myself with the fact that her pain would be nothing more than a pinprick - just a tiny sting of rejection - compared to mine.

This is one of those lines that SM uses to hammer home the fact that her Pires are OH SO MUCH better than you. It’s such a blatant ‘Oh, my pain and sorrow and misery is just SO BAD compared to Bella with her weak human mind and weak human emotions. She couldn’t possibly be as hurt as I, the great Edward Cullen, am.’ And it’s trash. It hasn’t been overt enough yet, but there’s still a rant coming about vampire instincts, with which I hope to point out exactly how this sentiment is wrong. 

If I was destined to love her

This is one of the main reasons why I just don’t buy the love story aspect of this series. They never talk about love in anything but ‘fate’ and ‘destiny’. Love is hard work. It’s building mutual respect and trust for one another and learning little quirks and habits along the way. It’s bumpy and messy and gross and wonderful, and most of all, it’s a choice. A choice to get to know someone, to spend time with that person and understand their hopes and dreams and wants and needs and fears and all of it, but in Twilight, it feels like the choice is taken away. Alice with her magic future power divines that Weirdo and Bella are gonna be in love, and instead of Eddie boy taking note that he barely even knows Bella, and has spent the better part of the few weeks he’s had with her making wild assumptions about who she is and what she’s like, he just goes ‘Ope, well, I guess if the future says I love her, I love her’ and that’s it. And the worst part is, even after their relationship actually begins, they don’t even try to do that getting to know and trust and respect one another thing, they just flat out keep their wild assumptions about one another throughout the entire series and rely on this ever subjective future that Alice has seen.

Wow, I’m ranting a lot today in this one. I’m not even a third of the way into this chapter yet.

Who would have ever dreamed that such a generic, boring mortal could be so infuriating?

We’re shitting on Mike Newton again, and I have to point something out yet again. Eddie, baby, sweety. You are outright ignoring Bella and treating her like she doesn’t matter in the slightest to you. You stated just before this that you were going out of your way to outwardly ignore her, even while you obsess over her in your mind. You have given only the outward indication of, if not outright disdain, then at the very least indifference to this girl and yet you’re giving Mike shit for having a crush on a girl and actually fucking acting on it. He talks to her, he attempts poorly to flirt with her and ask her out, even though we all know that she’s just as obsessed with you and compares Mike to a dog (because Bella is a piece of shit, too, so at least you have that in common). So stop shitting on poor Mike, who’s only crime is liking a girl who isn’t interested in him.

He'd created a Bella in his head that didn't exist

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU’VE FUCKING DONE, EDWARD. And honestly? Yours is even worse because you don’t even BOTHER trying to FUCKING TALK TO HER TO GET TO KNOW HER. You just spy on her conversations with other people and assume that you know everything about her! Bella goes out of her way to put on this fake little show for her classmates and lie to them about everything she feels and thinks about them, but at least they FUCKING TALK TO HER! So yeah, I agree, Mike doesn’t have the full picture of who Bella really is (and if he did, he absolutely would not still have that little crush on her because Bella is a big fucking jerk), but at least they’re MAKING THE EFFORT!

Bella was good.

This is just not true and I have four books worth of canon to prove it.

I frequently amused myself by imagining backhanding him across the room and into the far wall...

“It helps if you think of them as people.” Remember that, Eddie??? Now here’s the thing. We’ve all had those fantasies about people. Wanting to throw them across the room or punch them in the face or whatever. The difference here? Edward is well aware that his Magic Pire Strength would genuinely hurt Mike, so much so that the very next line is about how it ‘probably’ wouldn’t hurt him fatally. Meaning that Eddie is well aware that it would hurt him, probably even break a few bones, but hey, he probably won’t die! Fuck you, Edward.

For all I knew, she never thought about me at all.

Pointedly gonna look over at Twilight now and see just how fucking much Bella is obsessing over Eddie, to the point where any thought not centered around her Woobie Pire is glossed over and ignored.

Eddie is having a jealous baby fit and once again thinking about how he would just love to hurt poor Mike for having the gall and audacity to ask Bella out. I already ranted about it up there, and I’m too tired and annoyed to do it again. Just know that Edward is a fucking asshole and poor Mike doesn’t deserve any of the shit that gets forced on him in this series.

Eddie is finally paying attention to Bella again, and wondering what she’s thinking, and he does that a lot in this book. I know that it’s supposed to be because he’s relied on his shitty vampire super power for so long, but considering how often he demanded (yes, demanded) to know what she was thinking in canon, and wouldn’t let up until she caved and told him, it feels like he’s trying to monitor her thoughts. She can’t be thinking anything that Daddy Ed doesn’t approve of, after all.

I picked the correct answer out of his head

But the Cullens are just super smart and know things and definitely aren’t cheating cheaters who cheat to get perfect grades in school.

"Are you speaking to me again?"

This is a problem with this canon. These people have had TWO conversations. In one of them, it was banal and inane small talk about the fucking weather and why Bella moved to Forks, and in the other, Eddie was gaslighting her to make her think she was wrong about what happened in the Van Of Doom(tm) crash. They haven’t talked like, at all. They don’t know anything about one another besides what they’ve crafted in their own empty heads. Bella is obsessing about how Eddie must hate her and Eddie is obsessing about how this version of Bella he’s built up in his head must be so amazing and wonderful and touting about how he loves her. There isn’t love in this relationship. There isn’t even a relationship. These people are obsessed stalkers.

I managed not to laugh.

This is another example of Edward being just... the biggest fucking jerk. Clearly, Bella is upset. She’s jumped to the wrong conclusion, and assumes that Eddie just wants her to fucking die or whatever, but she’s clearly upset and annoyed and Eddie is treating her feelings like a joke. He does that so often in the series, but hearing it from his own perspective really drives it home. 

Edward is being extremely shallow watching Eric and Tyler asking Bella out. He makes a rude comment about Eric’s skin (he’s a teenage boy with acne, oh GOD) and outright calls Tyler ‘average’ as if he knows anything about him. This is another problem with Ed and his magic surface thought listening power. I’ve already pointed out that he’s created this image of who Bella is in his head based on absolutely nothing, but he’s done this with everyone around him. He assumes what kind of people they are based on the very bare, surface thoughts they have. He doesn’t consider the people around him complex, because he isn’t diving into their more complex thoughts and emotions, and that’s just so gross and shitty.

How was I any better than some sick peeping tom?

We know what this is, right? We’re witnessing the birth of Eddie breaking into Bella’s house and watching her sleep. He’s once again acknowledging that he shouldn’t be doing it, and he knows that its wrong, so of course, that means he can just keep on doing it anyway. 

I was not the one she was destined to say yes to.

This is such a ham-fisted attempt at keeping the ‘will they won’t they’ illusion up, because its been made so obvious from the word GO that there’s never going to be anyone else for Bella. Even the attempt at a love triangle doesn’t work in the series because SM made it so clear all throughout New Moon that Bella would never choose Jacob if Edward was a choice. Everything she did in New Moon was to keep the illusion of Edward up in her mind, and even spending time with Jacob was a means to that end goal. Its not a compelling love story because, as stated, there is no love here because they haven’t spoken to one another, but their sick, driving obsession with one another is going to guide them all the way to the end. Edward and Bella are not a good couple, and I wish very much that that line up there was the truth, and that Bella discovered who she was as a person and found someone to compliment her.

My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?

Left that full for context. This is our title drop, and as someone who has read all of Twilight, who has seen all of the horrible title drops in them, I honestly think this one might be the worst of them all. It’s just this affected way that SM writes and it really, really irks me to see it so blatantly on display combined with a ‘hee hee, Midnight Sun, get it~’ on top of it.

My self, also, had frozen as it was - my personality, my likes and my dislikes, my moods and my desires; all were fixed in place.

This has a lot of implications for the Pires that SM never even bothers to explore because she doesn’t actually realize the potential in it. According to canon, right there in that sentence, when they’re turned Pires STOP CHANGING. They don’t develop new interests or hobbies, they don’t change their taste in music, film, anything. They become truly frozen in time. That means that the Cullens should not be driving cars, or wearing the clothes that they wear. They should not have picked up all of these skills that immortality has allowed them to pick up. The should be the exact same as they were the day they were turned. There’s something really dark and genuinely heartbreaking about that, and a better author would have explored it. Unfortunately, we don’t have a better author.

if I were going to attempt any kind of relationship with her

Edward refuses to take into account that that is not solely his decision to make. Pretend for a second that Bella is a normal human with normal thoughts. All she has seen of Eddie is this hot and cold thing were he does a nice thing or has a nice conversation with her and then ices her out for days and weeks at a time. He is, by all accounts, a total jerk and kind of a weirdo. Why the hell would she (again, if she were a normal, rational person) want a relationship with him?

Strange, unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core.

AKA, Eddie just felt the first stirrings of being a horny teenage boy. Gross. 

The chapter ends on Eddie asking Bella to let him drive her to Seattle. I know I’ve already made this point, but if Bella were a normal teenage girl experiencing all of this shit from Eddie, she would have absolutely laughed in his face and told him to go fuck himself on a cactus or something. He’s proven to be volitale, rude, condescending, and just an outright jerk. There is no reason a sane, rational person would want to go anywhere with him. Would want to spend any time alone with him. If anything, Bella should be thinking that Eddie wants to get her alone to murder her or something based on the way he’s acting. It’s creepy and weird. Bella, unfortunately, eats this shit up and is so excited about her date with him. 

That’s it. Chapter over. Sorry this was such a long one, folks, but I’m not sure they’re gonna get any shorter. This story makes me angry, and when I get angry, I rant. Feel free to reach out in messages or DMs if you wanna chat more about this book or offer suggestions for the next one I should do after I finally put this one to bed. 

You can also buy me a snack if you want, I have my CashApp tag in my bio. Until next time. 

#sierra recaps stuff #midnight sun #midnight sun spoilers #ms chapter 5 #long post

[evans-maxed-out]

The Weight Of Our Sins-Samcedes

Who: Mercedes Jones and Sam Evans

Where: School Library

When: February 2010

Notes: Mercedes has some life-changing new to tell Sam..

Sam: It had taken weeks for him to be back in the same room with her-not his choice of course but pretty much because she'd avoided him since that night when all their inhibitions had been thrown out of the window, owing in no small part to the amount of drink they'd both consumed. His memories of that night were slightly hazy but what did seem stuck on a loop inside his head was the breathy cry of his name she had uttered as he had slid instead her for the first time. He was taking this slow, no need to spook her, but he had a goal in mind- them both together, dating, everything out in the open and on an even keel. He pushed the paper back towards her and hummed noncommittally before looking across at her. "The future? I guess.." he shrugged, the only real interest he had in the future was where he was going to take her for their first date, after he'd gotten her to agree of course.

Mercedes: “Yes, the future.” She replied slowly looking over the answers he had given on the practice quiz. Her head full of thoughts she tried so hard to will away. Would he feel trapped? Would he yell, would he hate her. Did he regret what they did the night of that party? The last one was louder than the rest cause she had asked herself that same exact thing over and over and the answer was always the same. No. Not for a second. For so long she had fought him about the type of relationship they had which was strictly associates, friends at best but they crossed that line and she loved it. Every second of it. Despite the fact that they both had way too much to drink she would get bits and pieces of that might back in tiny flashbacks and shortly after butterflies in the heart of her belly would come. Sometimes she could still feel his touch on her skin hot, wet kisses, from her neck all the way down to the spread of her thighs. She cleared her throat willing the visual away and granted Sam a small smile. “Good job. You only missed one. Maybe you’ll be that doctor after all.” She proved hoping for more entry to his thoughts.

Sam: "Maybe," he shrugged, uncertain for once of what the future held. Since he could remember he'd wanted to be like his father, a respected doctor, financially wealth and secure..but now? After one night with her...He knew she wanted to get out to LA as soon as she graduated high school..she wouldn't be sticking around and he'd be going to college to climb on the first rug of the ladder that would be his medical career..but the more he thought about it, the more he felt that maybe he ought to go with her..There were colleges in LA..and hell, being a doctor wasn't the be all and end all of everything right? His dad would be disappointed sure, but he'd followed Sam's mother across the country when she 'd left for college, so surely he'd understand right? No, he'd never understand-it wasn't like they were even dating-she wouldn't even give him five minutes of her time, as for allowing him to tag along with her to LA..he didn't stand a hope in hell's chance of convincing her to agree. "So what's with the questions? I thought you had your future all wrapped up in a neat bow?" he said, raising a blonde eyebrow at her.

Mercedes: “I was just curious is all.” She shrugged off the feeling that maybe she was annoying him with the talks of the future. “I do, or at least I thought I did. I don’t know recently I’ve been thinking about things and maybe now I want to change. It’s really hard to make it in the music industry and I can’t put all my eggs in one basket.” This was silly, she would just tell him and get it over with but she was nervous. She’s never really nervous. Maybe it was more fear than nerves. She didn’t want to be rejected. Not by him, but maybe she deserved it for all the times she rejected him. “Did you hear the rumor about Tina? About her possibly being pregnant?” She asked studying his face. “I bet she is scared. How would someone go about handling that type of thing at such a young age?”

Sam: “Wait...what? I thought your plan was to go out to LA?” he said, confused. “What would you do if you didn’t do that? Are you thinking of going to college?” His mind was racing, if she went to college, he needed to find out where...now that would be much easier..his dad would never need to know that his choice of where to go was based on where SHE was going. “Tina? Really..no I hadn’t heard that..” he replied, brow furrowing. “For sure, Mike has no idea...I think he would’ve said...D’ya know he’s taken up with Kitty Wilde? “ he shook his head, thinking about his friend. “I’m kinda hoping it’s some sort of rebound thing after breaking up with Tina and he’ll see the light..But pregnant? Wow..” He shifted in his chair, considering. “ Look..I know she’s your friend, but Mike’s a decent guy..so if that’s the case she needs to tell him..At least she won’t be handling it on her own..And honestly...they did the crime...so if there are consequences they need to be prepared to do the time..”

Mercedes: “It has always been my plan but things have changed to where I don’t know.” She could the words on the tip of her tongue yet every time she opened her mouth something different came out. “I doubt college is in the works, maybe. If I have the time.” Her eyes went wide and her jaw fell. “Mike dumped Tina for Kitty? Say what? Eww why? Kitty is the most valid soulless person I’ve ever met. At least Tina has a personality.” She was pleasantly surprised by his response half expecting him to call the situation reckless and irresponsible. Perhaps she was overreacting about letting him. “So would you do that? Step up. Be prepared to do whatever if you found out you’re going to be a dad? How would you go about it with being so close to starting your dreams?”

Sam: Ok, now he was officially confused. "Changed how? What could've changed that much that it would derail your plans?" he asked, bewildered. "If you have the time? What else are you gonna do?" There was definitely something up with her, no doubt about it, but he was in two minds whether to press any further, he knew how quickly she could shut down and he wanted to keep her talking for as long as possible. "Not exactly..He and Tina split and then he started dating Kitty. There was no cheating, Mike's not that kind of guy. Yeah..you're right about Kitty..she puts in me in mind of a deadly viper." He shrugged, considering her question. "Well what else is there to do..If i got a girl in trouble..then yeah..I guess I'd owe it to her and the kid to step up..The way I see it, as an adult, you have obligations..and there's no escaping some of them, so what good would acting out or running away do?" He leaned forward grabbing her hand. " I don't know..I'd have to cross that bridge when I came to it..But I'm not in that situation and there's no point borrowing trouble..Look..I get you're worried about Tina, Mercedes but asking me how I'd handle things isn't gonna help. This is Mike we're talking about and I can't say 100% how he'd react. Best thing Tina can do is tell him. Leastways, I can definitely tell you, that if it was me, I'd want to know, hands down."

Mercedes: Mercedes: WOW. He really seemed to be more level headed than she imagined. “It’s me.” She looked down at her hands folded in her lap took a deep breath and looked back up again. “Tina isn’t pregnant. It’s me. I’m pregnant.” She stood nerves all of sudden coming back to her and began to pace. “I know this isn’t what you wanted nor expected but hell neither did I. We were careful. I mean weren’t we? I know we had been drinking and things are a little hazy but then I missed my period and I never miss my period and guess what? A baby. A freaking baby. I am freaking out. Are you freaking out? This is crazy. We are 17.” She continued pacing and ranting. “You have plans to be a doctor and me a singer and can we do that with a baby? I swear I didn’t try to trap you. I’m not that type of girl. This is crazy. I took test after test and they’re all positive...”

Sam: He sat, completely poleaxed, her words echoing in his ears..pregnant, she was pregnant, he’d knocked her up and fuck..fuck...He knew better than to ask if it was his- she wasn’t like that, there was no way it could be anyone else’s but his. “Shit..I don’t understand...I wore a condom...I might have been drunk but I remember that much...It is crazy..but ok..ok..don’t freak out..we need to think Cedes...Fuck my plans..” he stood moving around to drop down to his knees in front of her. “What about you? You’ve always wanted to be a big star..” He but his lip hard, struggling not to panic, knowing he needed to be strong for her. “ I know you wouldn’t do that, that’s not even in question...I’m just..oh fuck..I’m so sorry, Cedes...I got you pregnant...” Taking a deep breath he struggled for control. “ Ok..we need to think baby...we need to think..calmly..We have options..what do you want to do..” He forced the words past his lips, wincing as he looked at her face. “We could give it up for adoption..we could abort it...”

Mercedes: Oh boy, he was panicking just like she was. This was a hot mess. They were a hot mess. She watched as he kinda mimicked her flying off the rails routine and this actually calmed her. She shook her head at the boy kneeling in front her a slight bit of fear rising. He better not pull a ring from his pockets or anywhere else. She thought to herself. “Sam,” she reached out cupping his cheeks. “This isn’t all on you. We both were there when this baby was made. This is on us. I’ve had a days to think about things clearly. One, I know this is sudden. Two, I’m not doing adoption or abortion. I’m keeping it. If you don’t want to be apart of this, I understand. I can do it alone. I just wanted you to know. Lastly, This is your out. You can walk away right now and I swear I you won’t ever have to worry about me or this baby ever again.” She took her seat and waited for him to respond.

Sam: What? She was keeping it and she was giving him an out? Sam thought about his dad, how disappointed he’s be and the tiniest, most cowardly part of him wondered if he shouldn’t just grab the opportunity and run...Hell no. This was Mercedes, the girl he’d told one day that he was going to marry her, his long ago playmate and the girl he’d been trying so hard to connect with over the past couple of years. She had hopes and dreams- and she was going to give them all up to become a mom to HIS baby. He thought if her facing the wrath of her parents, the censure and whispers of their peers and shook his head. “You’re not doing this alone. No way. Like you said, this is on US. Not you, US. If you think I’m just gonna walk away, pretend like this has nothing to do with me then you’re crazy. Whichever way you look at it, I got you pregnant. You wanna keep it?” he asked, his hands rising to grip hers, fingers sliding through her smaller ones. A curious glow seemed to light his chest as he thought of her wanting to keep their baby. He realized with a jolt that yes, while abortion and adoption were both valid ways out of this situation, he would have struggled with either one of those outcomes. “ Then fine, we keep it. Emphasis on the WE, Cedes. I’m not going anywhere, so please don’t tell me that mess again. You have every right to demand everything from me for gig and the baby, don’t think you don’t, just like I have every right to stand by you and take care of you. I’m not leaving, and we’re gonna do this.” He disentangled one hand gently, moving it to rest on her stomach lightly. “It’s not what we would’ve chosen but we’ll deal.There’s no choice.”

Mercedes: He was stepping up, being responsible and she couldn’t help the feeling of relief that washed over her in that moment. She’d go about it alone if she had but she didn’t. Sam was different. She should’ve known he would stand by her side no matter what. Believe it or not he was someone she could always depend on even when they were little and ran about no worries or cares in the world. “I feel a lot silly now,” she admitted. “I’m sorry for avoiding you all this time I was just scared of how you would react to finding out.” She gave him a smile as he placed one hand on her stomach. “You’re right, we will deal but first we have to do something.” Her face serious as she spoke to him. “We have to tell our parents.”

#The Weight Of Our Sins #Samcedes #Samcedes RP #ATCTHGB

[midcing]

why do people do things that be bad for them? say we done with these things, then we ask for them

&. BASICS

FULL NAME: michael nathaniel roosevelt

NICKNAMES: mike, mikey

FACE CLAIM: jeffrey dean morgan

AGE: 51 years old

SEXUALITY: bisexual ( leans more towards women )

DATE OF BIRTH: may 2nd

GENDER/PRONOUNS: cis male & he/him

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: separated

OCCUPATION: bar & nighclub owner

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON MICHAEL CLICK ANYWHERE IN THIS SENTENCE

&. PERSONALITY

USUAL HANG OUTS: bars, nightclubs, his house

HOBBIES: dancing, singing, playing baseball.

FIVE POSITIVE TRAITS: enthusiastic, caring, resilient, patient, realistic

FIVE NEGATIVE TRAITS: shallow, stubborn, self-centered, self-indulgent, argumentative

DRINKS, SMOKES, & DRUGS: yes, yes, & yes.

&. VERSES

main. 

&. WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC. 

( honestly just a lowkey warning i can’t really imagine him dating anyone younger than like 35. because if anyone younger than that tried to flirt with him he’d just be like ‘that is cute. you are child. go sit in the corner and think about your life.’ so idk keep that in mind ? ) 

the ex wife — okay i keep meaning to send this to the main ( and i’ll at some point in the future ) but if you want to fill up this connection hmu !! like in my mind they were married for many years and they were in love for a long ass time. they had two kids and they were cute af but at the end things were just super rocky. they would fight all the time and they were too focused on work. maybe she had an affair and he had a revenge affair and things were just !! not great !! i picture the divorce being pretty terrible and bitter and like them fighting about everything they had ever owned even though seeing that might be harmful to their kids bc they just too intertwined in their drama. and he is like i’ll fight you for everything but i’ll also not sign the divorce bc you have to understand !! we hate each other but we love each !! ( idk this man honestly smh ). cut to scene a few months later and he is living alone in his big ass house alone without her or the kids and he just like ‘can’t function without her !!’ and michael is still highkey hang up on her bc he says she is the love of his life and all that. you can have your character react to mikey in whatever way you want. she can hate him. love him still. be conflicted. it’s honestly your choice ! but like he would be highkey still in love !! and like trying to get her back despite the fact that he might not deserve her at all or they might not work together in anyway shape or form !!  ( yo i named her Stephanie so i wouldn’t have to awkwardly dance around the name whenever he mentioned his Ex-Wife but if you wanna fill this connection you can name her whatever you want. i’ll just change the info in his page. )

the affair — honestly just wow ??  picture the drama for a second. like the woman he cheated on his wife with... that tore his marriage apart. ... it is completely his fault since he was the married one but picture the misplaced guilt . them maybe actually liking each other but they somehow always end up fighting bc of all the baggage ?? maybe she is married too or she was at some point and he is a shitty but Fun remainder of her shitty husband ?? honestly i’m trash for drama

flirting goes too far — honestly he is always flirting with people and also Not flirting? like he is 100% joking but if you are down he is down. and like imagine just they are friends and they are close and he is flirting bc he does that and your char is just 1000% Done with his bullshit and maybe they kiss or they sleep with each other and for a night things are perfect. but in true michael fashion he does something without thinking of the consequences and regrets it the next day ? and now it is super awkward bc he trying to pretend nothing happened but it obviously did .. . ? ? 

FAMILY.

his son and daughter — i keep meaning to send this to the main too and i’ll at some point but like if you wanna fill it hmu !! i just imagine michael’s divorce with their mother tearing their relationship apart. and mikey feeling super guilty and trying to connect but like ‘how ???’ picture like him taking them to their favorite ice cream shop from when they are five and he is all proud of himself like ‘choose whatever you want!!’ and it’s like ‘That’s nice that you remembered but also i’m not twelve anymore pls do better’ and just wow ?? relationship on the rocks ? trying to be the best possible dad even when he is not the best man ?? dropping Literally Everything bc one of his kid texted ‘dad can you help with something?’ and like ‘yES!! !! yes anything’

PLATONIC.

the good influence — someone that tells him to Sit The Fuck Down and Chill and actually gets him to breath for a second ?? this dude honestly has no chill so i would love someone that is like ‘michael you are gonna sit down and watch this movie and then eat dinner’ and then they actually have fun ?? doing something lowkey chill and he is like ‘i don’t understand what is happening but i like it ngl’

the perfect match — someone who is also 0 Chill and must be doing something at all times ? you know that friendship in movies where they start with small dares like ‘i dare you to take a picture with that random person’ and ‘i dare you to dance in public’ and then a short montage of quickly escalating dares later, they are both in las vegas like ‘imma fucking do it. imma marry you. we are gonna be bounded for life’ and the other one is like ‘bitch you don’t have the balls.’ and they end up doing super dumb stupid shit just to make the other laugh ?? i would give you the sun for it

the parental figure — maybe they work at his bar or his nightclub and they opened up to michael at some point and he was like ‘wow your parents suck !!’ or like your char grew up alone idk up to you honestly ! and like michael was just ‘okay so i’m your Dad now’ and he just takes care of them ?? and even if they work for him like when they come in to the bar he is like ‘have you eaten already ? what do you mean no? Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal Of The Day’

ENEMIES.

the business rival — someone that has another club around kola ? ? and they are like always competing to see who gets the most Hype !? maybe there is some sexual tension  ??  maybe they ar e highkey competing but also somewhat pushing each other ?? like frenemies idk dude

i’m bad at thinking about enemy connections but if you have any ideas hmu

HONESTLY THOSE ARE JUST A FEW IDEAS ! IF READING ABOUT MICHAEL BRINGS ANYTHING TO MIND, JUST HMU. I’M OPEN TO EVERYTHING.

&. FILLED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

the crush —  michael keeps taking her to places and doing dumb stuff with her // taken by simone baxter @paradcxes

PLATONIC.

father figure — dorky father figure trying to pass as a badass // taken by baxley carrington @ofadorations

ENEMIES.

n/a

#fckit:task #fckit:task002 #i have decided to chill with the character descriptions #so now you gotta click on the link to know about them #but like all the info is there #tw: cheating #idk i mentioned it

[princess-of-the-corner]

Tbh I somehow ended up on an Until Dawn kick(currently rewatching Markiplier’s playthrough), and can I just say, like, most of these characters are terrible people? Like, just.... here this is going to be long. 

Mike

Major part of the Hannah prank

Cheats on Jess with Emily even though Emily is dating Matt

Can murder Emily. Slightly justified by the fact that he’s unsure if the Wendigo bite can turn her, but tbh if he had been listening The Stranger said you only become a Wendigo through cannibalism(Seriously, why did they have to read The Stranger’s journals for that tidbit?). That, and he should have gone for the safer ‘okay, you seem chill right now, but if you start getting the munchies we’ll have to put you down for our own safety’. 

Emily

Mastermind #2 of the Hannah prank

“It’s just a prank Han!”

shows very little remorse for getting Hannah and Beth killed until learning all of what happened in the mines(maybe justified because denial stage). However, what regret she feels is more guilt for being responsible for their death than actually regretting her decision to play the prank.

Cheats on Matt with Mike even though Mike is dating Jess

Verbally abusive to her boyfriend Matt 

fights with Jess

Decides to blame Mike almost killing her on Ashley(who was freaking out and asking her to leave in case she was infected, but not on board with the shooting) and slaps her for it

Tried to indirectly kill Ashley by pushing her into a wall and leaving her to the Wendigo chasing them

Jessica

Mastermind #1 of the Hannah prank, very excited to humiliate her.

“She just can’t take a joke”

not much remorse about the prank itself, but guilt that it caused Hannah and Beth’s death.

fights with Emily(slightly justified as Emily started it

Okay with pranking, video taping, and teasing Mike, but gets mad at him if he tries to play a prank on her. Granted she fell in cold water, but the fall is less of her concern. 

This is more inferred than straight out said, but Wendigo!Hannah was the most brutal with Jess. Pulling her through the shattered window, dragging her through the woods and tearing her apart, leaving her injured and unable to move on the elevator. Everyone else gets a quick death, but not Jess, so we can infer that Jess was terrible to Hannah before the prank. 

Ashley

Part of the Hannah prank

can show some remorse for it. She acknowledges it was their fault for pulling the prank in the first place, that it was dumb to do in the first place. 

Literally leaves Chris to die by Wendigo because of Josh’s Saw scenario. If Chris shoots her, even if she begged him to kill her instead of himself, she will literally refuse to open the door for him, watch him die, coldly ignore his death, and lie to the cops about killing him. No remorse whatsoever. 

Matt

part of the Hannah prank, videotaping the experience

“Hmm. We just rode a collapsing fire tower into a fucking mine shaft, and my girlfriend is literally dangling from a detached railing over a probably-death-height drop. I should take this moment to confront her about possibly cheating on me and being a total bitch in general! Then I won’t help her until she either promises to be faithful to only me, or to treat me better!”

Can leave Jess to die in the mines

Hannah

Yeah she was the victim here however I am not counting her actions as the girl who fell in the mines, starved enough to turn to cannibalism, and became a wendigo. I’m counting her actions during the prologue. 

it’s one thing to be in love with a guy despite knowing he’s in a relationship, it’s another thing altogether to try and sleep with a guy despite knowing he’s in a relationship. She wasn’t just taking the opportunity she thought was presented when they pulled the prank, she had been flirting with him and trying to get with him. While this doesn’t justify what happened to her(Especially as Mike and Emily are hypocritical, pranking her for this and then cheating on their respective partners with each other) she’s not an innocent person. 

Now for those who aren’t terrible people and are actually pretty nice:

Josh

Josh has a lot of issues and did many things, but there are a lot of circumstances that, while they don’t excuse what he did, it makes him better than the others and is a lot more sympathetic.

These people got his sisters killed, and he feels a lot of guilt because he was passed out drunk at the time and could have, hypothetically, put a stop to the whole thing.

Yes, he did the whole murder psycho thing, but it was revenge. ‘Just a prank.” for them getting his sisters killed. Yes, his prank was much more traumatizing, but he wanted them to feel the fear Hannah and Beth must have felt. But everyone was physically safe. The first trap where Chris has to ‘kill’ Josh or Ashley is rigged to kill Josh(’s dummy). The second trap with Chris and Ashley has the sawblades that will never reach them and blanks in the gun. He does knock a few people out with gas, but the only time he hurts someone is when Ashley stabs him with scissors.

 People think this is worse than it is, because before we know about the Wendigos, we think ‘the Psycho’ is the murderer, and ‘the Psycho’ turns out to be Josh. We think he’s either killed or attempted to kill Jess, Matt, and Emily.

Some people pointed out that his pranks were only on Chris, Sam, and Ashley. Two of which were not part of the prank. 

However, Sam was only gassed and taken out of the way to make sure she didn’t get caught in anything, and Chris was involved because Josh was trying to force him to confess his feelings for Ashley. 

Also, we have no idea what Mike, Jess, Matt and Emily were supposed to be trapped in. Josh most likely had pranks set up for them. Like Jess’s phone crashing through the window of the cabin while playing music. People blame Wendigo!Hannah but do you really think a cold bony wendigo could manage a touch screen? He sent Mike and Jess to the cabin where their prank was, and he trashed the cable car office to get Matt and Emily wherever. If Mike and Jess had stayed in the cabin and Emily and Matt hadn’t fallen in the mines(both because of the Wendigo), they would have gone through their own shit.

He is also not mentally stable. From his psychiatric report, we can see that he was being treated for depression from age 11 but his symptoms show that he was either misdiagnosed or he also had schizophrenia and was getting no help for it. The fact that none of his meds were helping made him self medicate by taking to much(though apparently his doctor recommended electroconvulsive therapy instead of reassessing his diagnoses), and after his sisters died he attempted to kill himself. He is also probably off those meds and suffering withdrawal during this. 

Still, he cares about them. When Mike accuses him of killing Jess, he’’s confused and apologetic. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. He’s probably trying to figure out what went wrong with whatever their prank was. And again, he didn’t want to physically hurt them, just do some revenge pranks. Hell, Chris is his best friend, and he tries to set him up with one of the girls who killed his sisters. 

Deserved a better ending.

Chris

Chris did not take part in the Hannah prank as he and Josh were passed out drunk.

He voices his disapproval of the prank later on, suggesting he wouldn’t have taken part of it if he had the chance. 

Yes, he has the option to ‘shoot’ Ashley, but considering their options in what they think is going on, along with the fact that she will offer to die(and the fact that she kills him for this), I’m not counting it against him. 

As upset as Chris is with Josh’s actions, he does attempt to defend him somewhat, and returns with The Stranger to save him.

He is the calmest during the ‘do we shoot Emily because we got bit’ section. While he does agree that until they know, she should be separated from them, he is not on board for shooting.  

Sam

Refuses to play the prank on Hannah

Sam is the only non-prank character who had a choice. Josh and Chris were passed out drunk, but Sam was told about the prank and attempted to find Hannah to stop it. 

Does not get involved with the Ouija Board. That doesn’t really count but I’m giving her points for it.

She is the one person who pleads with Mike not to kill Emily

Like, most of these characters are such assholes. Like, why? 

#Until Dawn #Rant tag