#ch: heroin bob | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gothpanda · 3 years

Text

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 37: Vancouver

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

A/N: haha three ch in under a week? love that for me

TAGS: @madamsixx @nosebleedblitz

@emariehorror

WARNINGS: none

Read On Ao3

Previous/Next

February 5th, 1988

Tucson, Arizona

Nikki popped his bubblegum, resting his leg across his other to get comfortable in the dark green armchair. He waited patiently in the therapy office, looking out the wall-to-ceiling window to the Arizona desert. The sound of the door opening made Nikki's head turn, the on-edge feeling turning into a relaxed emotion.

"Sorry I'm late, Nikki. I had run into a colleague for a minute," said the Dr. grabbing his notebook from his desk.

"It's okay, Ortiz. Felt nice to think of what to say before we started," politely said Nikki, spitting his gum out onto a tissue.

"Good. It's always best to think before rambling during an appointment. Gets all the bases," said Dr. Ortiz, sitting down in front of Nikki. He clipped his pen and wrote down the date on his notes for Nikki. "So, how have we been feeling personally?"

"My mood has been good. I haven't tanked and felt depressed. It feels great to say that. I really haven't felt depressed since being here," said Nikki, scoffing at the fact of being healthy working out for him.

"Well done then. According to my notes here, you had a group therapy session a couple of days ago with a guest? Is that correct?" asked Dr. Ortiz. Nikki nodded. "And how was it seeing a familiar face for the first time since admitting yourself into rehab?"

"I was happy, then I was scared. Scared and happy at the same time. I don't know how anyone can have those feelings together, but I did," said Nikki, rubbing his hands together, Sammi's face popping in his head.

"Why were you scared?" asked Dr. Ortiz, ready to write down what Nikki was about to say.

"Sammi and I didn't leave on the greatest terms in California. When I saw her, I was scared of what she would say about being around me when I was doing heroin,"

"And how did you feel in the end after she expressed her feelings?"

"Sad… I really didn't realize how horrible Sammi felt about everything from the moment I started. It never crossed my mind the conversation we had when we broke up. I don't want to hurt her like that ever again," said Nikki, continuing to rub his hands together.

"While it may have been a terrible feeling to hear to her side of the abuse, it helps make you a better person living a sober life and get rid of the fear,"

"What if I'm still scared of being sober?" asked Nikki, looking down at his feet

"And what is it that you're scared of exactly?"

Nikki sighed, rubbing his hands on his pants. "What if I'm a terrible boyfriend to her being sober? That's what I'm scared about,"

Dr. Ortiz is taken aback but almost lets out a chuckle. "Why would you believe you'd make a terrible boyfriend? You seemed like a great man to her and only her. Even with your troubles from all of our sessions. So why worry when you'd be healthy?"

"Because I've never been with someone I love without some kind of 'help,'" said Nikki, blushing from saying the L-word. "I've always been under the influence even to a small extent with Sammi because I needed it. Without drugs I'm a timid man who wants to be with the smartest girl he ever met," sighed Nikki. "That's why I'm scared,"

Dr. Ortiz takes a second to think before speaking, ready to talk man to man. "Nikki, I'm not going to be speaking in a way of a therapist but how a normal married man would. If Sammi dealt and stuck around long enough when you had your shit, then what makes you think she's not going to love Sober Nikki?" asked Dr. Ortiz, narrowing his eyes at Nikki.

"But she blamed herself for me dying…"

"And that is when you act like a man and treat her like the queen she is to you. Understood?" Nikki only nodded. "Very good. It's going to be a learning curve but hiding isn't going to work out,"

June 3rd, 1988

San Francisco, California

Boxes upon boxes were scattered among the small place that was now Sammi's old apartment, ready to be filled with every single little thing she can take home. Sammi kneeled in front of one labeled 'photos' as Emma and Sabrina were graciously beside her, putting other things in different boxes. Sabrina organized all of Sammi's books while Emma took the time for her snack break.

"Thanks for the help you two, even if Emma's been eating the whole time," said Sammi, smiling over at Emma in the middle.

"Your kitchen is empty for your information thanks to me so you're welcome," said Emma with a mouth full of banana, Sabrina shaking her head playfully.

"Why thank you, Emma. Is it still hard to believe I'm finally done with school? No more having to deal with grades,"

"Tell me about it. I'm starting to miss it already and I'm only taking a year off," said Sabrina, reading the back of one book.

"Yeah yeah we get it. You two are done with college while my ass is still going to classes," said Emma, pouting.

"Awe you'll be fine," said Sabrina, pinching Emma's cheeks. "Just one more year and then you'll be free to your heart's content," The three girls chuckled along, Sammi continuing to pack her belongings on the living room floor.

"Hey Sam, I have a question," said Emma.

"Shoot,"

"Do you have any regrets moving over by yourself? I'm starting to think about what I wanna do when I graduate,"

"You're gonna leave me and move away?" asked Sabrina, raising an eyebrow.

"You're gonna leave us?" corrected Sammi.

Emma giggled at the two. "No, I'm not moving out just yet. I just want to know what it's like here since it's the 'gay mecca'. I have to be with the lesbians at some point," joked Emma.

Sammi stared into the distance for a moment, pursing her lips as she thought about the question, "Yeah I actually do. I wish I never moved here,"

"What? Why?" asked Emma, scrunching her brows together.

"Think about it. I didn't make any friends here. I only met rude and miserable people when I had the chance to make friends. All I have are bad memories. Me leaving didn't do any good back home with Nikki, leading to another fight with Vince. I should've just stayed in L.A,"

"Damn I never thought about it that way," said Sabrina.

"Me neither," added Emma.

"If I stayed then maybe I wouldn't have any awkward tension between Vince and now Nikki. Maybe we'd all be living under one roof. It's just something I think about," said Sammi, looking down at the scattered photos.

"Well hey, who needs friends when you have us," said Emma, swinging an arm around Sabrina to pull her into their side. Sammi only smiled at the two with a sweet chuckle before going back to finishing the last of the photos, taping the box shut.

"You do have multiple points. Speaking of which, how are the guys since getting out of rehab?" asked Sabrina.

"They are currently in Canada working on a new album, so that's always good. Tommy, Mick, and Vince left in April. I would say they're doing great since being out. Tommy was a big help going apartment hunting with me," said Sammi.

"What about Nik?" asked Emma.

Sammi sighed. "He went straight to Canada after being released. I haven't heard from him since that therapy session," said Sammi, lowering her eyes from Emma and Sabrina. They could see the change in Sammi's face. Even if she didn't say it loud, the girls knew Sammi missed Nikki.

"You should just go visit them," suggested Emma. "I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the biggest shock in the world to the guys,"

"Yeah but this isn't a tour date. They're working this time, and I don't want to be a nuisance,"

"You seriously don't think Heather or whoever is dating Vince doesn't barge in when they record back home?" asked Sabrina.

Sammi did shrug a shoulder in acknowledgment until something clicked in her head. "Wait I just remembered Mick said I could visit,"

"Then go!" shouted Emma and Sabrina in unison.

"Fine! Fine! I'll make some calls after we're home and I'm somewhat settled," said Sammi, standing up on her feet and walking to see what needed to be packed in parts of her bedroom.

June 14th, 1988

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

For being summer in Canada, the country proved to be the coldest place Sammi has ever visited, needing to wear her warmest leather jacket for the trip. She was quick to learn Vancouver was a calm city with still enough action going around. Sammi made a mental note to come back whenever L. A got too hot for her.

With the help of Doc setting Sammi up in Canada, it didn't take any time to find the recording studio Motley was working at. Sammi walked straight into the two-story building, hands in her pocket as she looked at the wooden interior. She stood right in the middle of the lobby where no one occupied the front desk, surprised by the quiet. The sound of steps walking down the stairs caused Sammi to turn on her heels, facing a young man with papers in his hand.

"Uh hey!" said Sammi, smiling politely at the young man.

"Hi… um who are you?" asked the skinny young man, walking down the last steps with hesitation.

"I'm Sammi, sorry to just pop in like this," said Sammi, extending out a hand.

"Like the name. I'm Kevin," said Kevin, shaking Sammi's hand. "What can I help you with?"

"Well I was wondering if Motley Crue was here right now. I'm Tommy's little sister," said Sammi, fixing the strap of her purse.

"Oh yeah they're upstairs with their producer right now. Did they know you were coming?" asked Kevin.

"No, I wanted to surprise them. It's been kind of boring back in California," smiled Sammi to hopefully let Kevin lead her to the boys.

"Well…" said Kevin, looking up the stairs and back at Sammi. "I know their producer Bob might not like you being here but I do know you're pretty special to the guys,"

"Yeah, the guys and I are pretty tight,"

"Alright then come with me," said Kevin, leading Sammi up the stairs. Kevin led Sammi through a spacious long hallway, knocking on the second door to their right. He peeked his head inside once, opening the door slightly. "Um, sir, the boys have a visitor,"

"I said no visitors. These four don't need any female distractions," said Bob in a deep and intimidating voice. Sammi almost regretted surprising the boys if they had this man working with them.

"It's Tommy's sister Sammi, sir,"

"Sammi!" yelled Tommy, Sammi hearing his steps rush out the door. Tommy swung the door open and, in one quick movement, engulfed Sammi in a tight hug, lifting her up in the air. "I've missed you!"

"It's only been 2 months!" giggled Sammi.

"I don't care, I miss you!" said Tommy, placing Sammi down on her feet. Before Sammi could say anything, she soon noticed Nikki right behind Tommy, almost in hiding. Nikki sheepishly had his hand in the back of his jean pockets and a slight smile on his lips.

"Hey, Sammi," uttered Nikki, stepping closer to Sammi. Sammi couldn't keep her eyes off Nikki, first noting every single new thing about the man. He had more tattoos all down his arm of what appeared to be Japanese artwork. It complimented his now bigger biceps and toned body, seeing Nikki's pecs through his shirt. Tommy could see the shock and plan to gawk on Sammi's face, finding it downright humorous.

When Nikki stood right in front of Sammi, Sammi blinked rapidly and cracked a smirk. "Wow. You look…" lingered Sammi.

"Different?" blushed Nikki.

"I was going to say great. You look great with your new look," smiled Sammi, finally one take forward and hugging Nikki like normal. Nikki didn't question anything, wrapping his strong arms tightly around Sammi. She could feel the difference in strength right away.

"Come on, let's not be greedy," said Tommy, grasping Sammi's shoulder and leading her into the recording room.

Without Sammi facing the terror twins, Tommy flashed a smirk to Nikki as if the adults were back to being teenagers in high school. Mick was the first to welcome Sammi in, heading straight for a hug and a pat on her head.

"Ain't this a surprise, Little girl," said Mick.

"You're the one who told me to come," smiled Sammi, causing Mick to shrug his shoulder.

Mick was almost pleased with himself. "Didn't think you'd take the bait," chuckled Mick. Mick looking healthy was Sammi's first thought, causing the smile to stick on her lips.

"Hey Sammi," said Vince, going straight for a hug that was gladly returned. "Finally we can have some fun around here,"

Right as Sammi was close to responding when the sight of Bob caused her to shut her mouth. Bob was a big tall man whose voice matched everything about him physically. He towered over Sammi, glaring down at her with an intense stare. Sammi took a few steps back, almost hiding right behind Nikki.

"Am I really that scary?" asked Bob, breaking into a smile.

"Do you want an honest answer?" asked Sammi, staying beside Nikki. Nikki crossed his arms, puffing his chest to seem as if he was protecting Sammi. Bob nodded. "You're more than a foot taller than me and built like a football player. You are scary to me!" said Sammi. Everyone burst into laughter, any tension dissipating.

"Well I am not a mean person. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sammi. You just came at the right second, the boys are on a break," said Bob.

"I really hope I'm not imposing. I can just go back to my hotel and wait,"

"No!" said Motley in unison.

"Sammi trust us, we need you for a bit," said Nikki, squeezing Sammi's shoulder gently.

"You can stay for the rest of the session if you like, Sammi. I'm serious. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the offices. We'll start recording vocals in 20," said Bob, walking out, having Kevin follow him right behind. Sammi let out a sigh of relief, happy to not bother anyone who was working with Motley.

"See, Sam, you're welcome wherever you go," said Tommy pulling out a chair for Sammi that she accepted.

"I guess I am. But enough about me, how's the album going?" excitedly asking Sammi, smiling with bright eyes at the guys.

As the guys all settled back into their seats, Mick whipped out a piece of paper of every song for their new album, all in Nikki's handwriting. Sammi took the form for closer examination, reading off every circled name of a song.

"Okay so we have 'Dr. Feelgood'. That one sounds cool. 'Slice of Your Pie', I wonder what that one's about," said Sammi, glaring at all the guys with a smirk.

"Get your mind out of the gut, Samantha," teased Vince.

"Rattlesnake Shake. That one also sounds cool. Kickstart My Heart. That has to be about Nikki. Without you?" stopped Sammi, scrunching her brows together. She looked up at Motley, trying to read all their faces. Vince and Tommy shifted their eyes to each other, looking at Nikki and Mick. Nikki bounced his leg a bit more than usual. "What's 'Without You' about?" asked Sammi. Nikki and Tommy glanced at each other, waiting for one of the two to speak.

"It's a song about Heather and I. You know how record labels are about having love songs on albums," said Tommy, putting on a somewhat convincing smile.

"Oh so you wrote a song!" exclaimed Sammi. "That's awesome. Did you help him, Nikki?" Nikki shook his head. "Well can I hear it? Especially if you wrote it Tommy,"

"It's not done yet, Sam. We still need the instruments on some parts," said Vince, Nikki thanking him in his mind. "Anyway! How many days are you staying in Vancouver?" asked Vince.

"I'm only staying for 2 days. I just wanted to make sure you four were still good and running," said Sammi.

"Awe come on Sammi, you don't have to worry about us. We're adults who have now figured out life. Kind of," said Vince with a proud smug smile.

"Vince is right and we can prove it to you," said Nikki.

"Oh really? How so?" asked Sammi, raising a brow with a smirk to Nikki.

"How about you come out to our rental tonight. We can all make dinner together and catch up especially since I haven't seen you in months," said Nikki, matching Sammi's smirk.

"And whose fault is that, Nikki?" asked Tommy, chuckling at the glare he received. Sammi snickered but hid her smile behind her hands as Nikki faced her again.

"That sounds like a great idea, Nik. I would love that," smiled Sammi. It was like they were in their own little world again, where Nikki only knew Sammi. Vince didn't feel the massive sting of jealousy as before, only by a quarter of the feeling. Nevertheless, he had to admit it was nice to see Sammi happy as well as Nikki.

"I can pick you up from your hotel, Sam. Our place is basically in the middle of nowhere. It's by a small lake!" said Tommy.

"Well isn't that cute. I hope you four are ready for my cooking," teased Sammi, standing up from her seat as she noticed Bob about to walk into the room again. It was time to somewhat finish what the boys started, more vocals on Vince's behalf. Sammi just sat on the loveseat right behind Nikki with a happy smile on her face.

"Okay!" Bob clapped. "Let's get back to work!"

Sammi shouldn't have been surprised when she first laid eyes on Motley's rental house that appeared to be a country log cabin. It subtly screamed Nikki and his Idaho roots. A beautiful two-story log cabin in the middle of the green forest with a lake within walking distance. It was a fantastic little escape for the guys after a long day at the studio, calling this home for who knows how long. In the open space kitchen, Sammi and Tommy served the five plates ready for Sammi's food. Nikki set up the dining table with forks and knives, placing the guys' drink of choice. Without asking her, Nikki popped open a bottle of Sammi's favorite red wine and poured a glass for her. It didn't take much energy for Nikki to completely ignore the alcoholic drink. Vince and Tommy set the plates of food on top of each placemat while Mick put the garlic bread basket right in the middle. Everything smelled amazing.

"Okay! Are we all ready to eat?" asked Sammi, walking into the dining room, seeing Motley sat down like well-behaved children with Tommy leaving a spot right next to him. "I'll take that as a yes," Sammi said, sitting beside her brother.

It was a comfortable silence that filled the room. Only the sound being made was of forks hitting the plates that felt like music to Sammi's ears. Silent people eating was a compliment for Sammi.

"I forgot how great your cooking is, Sammi," said Vince, finally taking a breather as he sipped on his glass of water.

"It's just spaghetti with meatballs," snickered Sammi, looking over Tommy to see Vince.

"Yes but we are used to frozen meatballs and pregos spaghetti sauce," said Mick, mouth almost full of food.

Sammi shook her head, taking another bite of a meatball. She glanced over at Nikki right in front of her, smiling at how he ate in silence. "Nikki seems to love my food. His head has been down his plate the entire time." teased Sammi. Nikki only flipped Sammi off in a matter she knew was playful. Sammi notices her glass of wine, looking around the guys. She smelled it and took a sip, happy to know it's her favorite. "Did you pour me some wine, Tommy?" Tommy shook his head.

"I did," said Nikki. "I thought you would enjoy a nice glass of wine,"

"But-"

"Sam, you don't have to quit drinking just because we did," said Mick, patting Nikki on the back. Sammi didn't say anything else, taking another sip of her wine.

"So, Samantha, a little birdie told me you got your pharmacy license. How does it feel being a full time grown up?" asked Nikki, relaxing in his chair.

"I'm so happy I passed, I did not want to react that stupid exam. Now it's just interviews back in L.A," said Sammi.

"Finally settled in at your new place?" asked Tommy, finishing the last of his food.

"Yeah I just need to figure out what to put in the second room. I only have my San Francisco sofa,"

"I'm surprised you kept anything from that tiny place," said Vince. "This might sound so stupid but does a pharmist apply? All I can think of is Walgreens,"

"I am mainly aiming at the hospitals now that most have their own private pharmacy," answered Sammi, finishing the last drop of wine. "Oh! I almost forgot! I finally bought a new car! It's a mustang,"

"Hallelujah! She finally listened!" said Nikki, dropping his head back to pretend he was looking at God.

Sammi smirked and flipped him off. "Great to know you didn't leave your sarcasm at rehab,"

"Oh, I love family dinners!" exclaimed Tommy, being the first of a domino effect to rise from his seat to take his dirty plate to the kitchen. Mick and Vince soon left, leaving Nikki and Sammi alone. They stayed in silence, Sammi scratching her neck as she looked away from Nikki. Nikki kept his eyes on Sammi.

"Do you wanna go for a walk outside? I can show you the lake," asked Nikki. Sammi only nodded.

As Nikki and Sammi walked beside the stream, they still kept a fair distance between themselves, keeping a guard up. Compared to how they were only a moment ago, they couldn't speak to each other the same way in privacy. One of them had to break the wall first, but they didn't know who it would be or what they would say first.

"I'm sorry," said Sammi.

Nikki halted, scrunching his brows in deep 11's at Sammi. "What? You're sorry? For what?"

Sammi sat down on the dry grass, inching close to dip her finger in the cold lake water; Nikki sat beside her. "I started to think after the therapy session about how we started, and I realized I wasn't nice. It wasn't ideal to how a couple should start,"

"Sammi-"

"Just hear me out, please," said Sammi, biting her lip as she stared out into the water. "When I got with Vince I knew you had feelings for me, but I didn't do anything about it. I just ditched you and you have to admit that must've hurt, Nikki. Even if we got together in the end,"

Nikki sighed out, pulling out pieces of grass under his feet. "Yeah it did,"

"I should've never gotten with Vince right after we had sex for the first time, and I'm sorry I would go to you when Vince pissed me off, I shouldn't have done that either. I knew how much you cared about me and I still listened to Athena & Tommy. I should've just chosen for myself," said Sammi, finally looking at Nikki.

"Would you have gotten with Vince even if your siblings weren't in your ear?" asked Nikki.

"No… but I think I needed it. I needed that little heartbreak to learn," said Sammi.

"Thank you. I appreciate it, Sammi. I really do," said Nikki with a smile. Sammi sighed out, feeling the weight leave her shoulders.

"Also I'm so fucking sorry I called you by that name. I was just-"

"Sammi, again, I appreciate it," chuckled Nikki. Silence soon filled between them again.

"Hey, have you happened to have any 'demons' hit you up?" asked Sammi.

Nikki dryly chuckled. "If you mean my past drug buddies, only one. Veronica called me when I was in rehab,"

"Oh," said Sammi in straight monotone.

"Don't worry, she finally got the idea we're not getting married,"

"Hope she returned that fucking ring. What did she want?" asked Sammi.

Nikki smiled at Sammi, finding her jealousy amusing. "She said she almost overdosed a week before calling me, only to have her call me high off her ass. So I just wished her well and hung up. I couldn't handle that,"

"You sadly can't fix them all I guess," said Sammi sadly.

"I'm scared, Sam. I'm scared to go back to L.A," blurted out Nikki.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the same Nikki that left. I know I'm going to lose friends but what if I get home and find out I really had no one this whole time?" asked Nikki, looking down at the grass. "Then what do I do?"

Sammi swallowed away her nerves, inching closer to Nikki as she laid a gentle hand on his bicep. "Hey, look at me," said Sammi. Nikki turned, eye dilating from how close to Sammi for the first time. "You have people now who truly care about you and you alone. I can already see a better relationship between you and the guys," Sammi soon grew hesitant, looking away from Nikki for a second. "And you have me. That's all you need right now after finally getting better. Remember that," said Sammi, squeezing Nikki's arm.

It took all of Nikki's strength to not lean in and kiss Sammi but be a miracle he managed. "Thank you, Sammi. I appreciate it," said Nikki. Sammi rested on her knees and hugged Nikki the best way they could. Nikki leaned into her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

June 15th, 1988

A knock on the hard hotel door almost scares Sammi, jumping off her bed and softly tiptoeing to look through the peephole. When seeing Nikki appear anxious in the hallway, she swung the door open with worry.

"Nikki, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are the guys okay?" asked Sammi in one breath, lightly placing a hand on his chest. Nikki shook his head, walking right into the single bed hotel room.

"I, um, I just really needed to give you something before you go tomorrow," said Nikki, rubbing his fingers together in a nervous habit.

Sammi eyed Nikki, not downplaying scanning him from head to toe. "Okay but just know you're scaring me," said Sammi, sitting at the foot of the bed. Nikki stood right in front of Sammi, pulling out a cassette tape from his jean pocket. He gave it one last look before handing it to Sammi, not looking her in the eye. As Sammi took the cassette, she quickly noticed "Without You" written by Nikki on the front, scrunching her brows together.

"You can play this right when I leave," said Nikki, ready to walk right out of the room. Instead, Sammi took to hold onto his wrist.

"What the hell is going on? Why're you giving me the song Tommy wrote?" asked Sammi.

Nikki sighed. "Tommy didn't write it. I did. It's finally a love song I wrote that isn't disguised… and that's about us,"

"You wrote me a love song?" smiled Sammi. Nikki nodded with a blush on his cheeks. Sammi couldn't help it any longer, standing on the tips of toes, cradling Nikki's face as she leaned in for that kiss. A kiss so soft and kind, Nikki felt his heart burst out of his chest, afraid to kiss again.

"Thank you," whispered Sammi, a smile still on her lips. Nikki scoffed, matching a smile. "But I need to listen to this right now," Sammi said, darting straight to the radio on the desk table. Nikki didn't protest, only groaned as he dropped himself on the bed, hiding under a pillow. The song in its entirety was touching but more so for Sammi, paying deep attention to every lyric. Sammi took the cassette out when it finished, looking over at Nikki's body thrown on the bed. She stretched herself on the bed, taking the pillow off Nikki's face to see his deep red flush.

"I love you," said Sammi. Nikki looked up in shock at Sammi, lips parting as if he wanted to say something. But all he caught was another kiss from Sammi with more passion. The two fell almost into the same old routine, Nikki's hand caressing Sammi's hair, Sammi's hand on Nikki's clothed chest. As Sammi started to lower her hands, the feeling of excitement turned into anxiety for Nikki in a blink of an eye.

"Sammi," whispered Nikki, placing his hands on her shoulders, giving the distance between them.

"What's wrong?" asked Sammi. Nikki slowly sat up, wiping the sweat off his hands. He took a few deep breaths, not able to look in Sammi's direction. "Are you okay, Nikki?"

"Remember when I told you I was scared?" asked Nikki. Sammi nodded. "Being with you like this was in that same word," said Nikki, meeting Sammi's worried eyes. "I-I've never been sober and doing this… with you,"

"Not even a little sober?" asked Sammi.

"When I say I was dependent, I really mean it. I needed a bit of something to bring me nerves down,"

"Guess your shyness didn't go away either," joked Sammi, rubbing her finger softly on Nikki's cheek. "Nikki, I'm not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do,"

"And trust me I do. It's just what if I'm bad at everything I thought I was good at between us?"

"I don't think it works like that, sweetheart. But I still don't want you to feel pressured to sleep with me. We can just cuddle and fall asleep. It'll be okay," reassured Sammi.

Nikki smiled lovingly at Sammi, leaning in to kiss her softly. "I love you, Sammi Lee. I really do," whispered Nikki.

Sammi's cheeks flushed. "And I love you, Nikki Sixx," whispered Sammi, leaning her head on Nikki's shoulder.

"Come on, you have a flight in the morning," said Nikki, playfully pushing Samami down on the bed. As Nikki stood at the bed's foot to strip down to his boxers, Sammi got under the soft white covers. The two fell back into the routine of late-night tv and cuddles. Nikki having his arm securely around Sammi with her head laid on his bare chest. The feeling of calm security quickly engulfed the two after a long marathon of danger. It was perfect.

23 notes · View notes

myownworldstayout · 5 years

Text

New Friends Ch. 7

Ch. 1 / Ch. 6 / Ch. 8

(Here’s seven! let’s find out where it leaves us!)

Footsteps echoed through the empty streets of Paris as they walked. Felix reveled in the warm, night air, feeling the wind’s gentle sway in his hair.

It was strange, Felix thought, that he would enjoy a regular night such as this so much. He had been on plenty of evening walks through Paris. So why did this one feel.. Different somehow?

A contented sigh pulled him from his wonderings, and he glanced over at the bubbly girl walking next to him. She held her usual, bright smile, her bluebell eyes filled with awe as she took in the Paris lights.

Felix drew in a small breath.

It’s her, he realized. It was Marinette. She was the reason today would be a day he remembered fondly. Then again, he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. The ravenette had a knack for taking ordinary things and making them better, brighter. It amazed him, the way Marinette looked at the world. Felix was an extremely realistic and logical person. He always thought he knew the world to be exactly what it was, selfish and idiotic, a disappointment. But Marinette.. She saw the world in a completely different light, a way he couldn’t fathom. It made him want to.. Live more, so to speak.

“I suppose I should thank you.”

Marinette hummed in response, tilting her head slightly as she looked up at him. “Thank me? For what?”

Felix smiled at that. It was just like her, completely unaware of her recent effect on him.

“For today. I enjoyed it more than I expected, and I feel I owe that to you.”

He watched as her eyes widened, and her cheeks tinged a light pink.

“O-oh, well- I mean, I didn’t really do- do anything much. It’s just- uhm…” She sputtered out, fiddling with her hands and her hair and anything really.

The blonde hesitated at the reaction. He figured she’d be surprised at the confession, or even pleased. He hadn’t expected her to fall into a stuttering mess.

“Well,” Felix began cautiously, “I still thank you all the same.”

Marinette’s blush deepened, but she shrugged. “I-I guess you’re welcome.”

~~~~~~~

Marinette blew out a sigh as she opened the trapdoor to her balcony. She was still blushing and kicking herself for stuttering earlier. That embarrassment was gonna stick with her for awhile.

“It really wasn’t that bad, Marinette.” Tikki insisted, snuggling into her holder’s cheek.

Marinette only groaned, burying her face in her hands. “You say that, but he probably thinks I’m an idiot now.”

She didn’t plan for Felix walking her home, let alone for him to thank her. And that smile? It was small, but there, and a complete surprise. Honestly, she wasn’t even shocked when she became clumsy with her words. Felix, this guarded, reserved- some may argue cold- classmate of hers became so sincere and open in an instant. She couldn’t help, but want to see more of it.

“It didn’t sound like he did.” Tikki pointed out with a comforting smile.

Marinette lifted her head, looking at her kwami with a small pout. She then rested her chin on her palm, leaning on the balcony. As much as she wanted to argue, it was her night to patrol, so she should probably get going.

She quickly scanned the streets, hoping to just transform there.

Who she saw confused her.

“Isn’t that Felix?” Marinette thought aloud, pointing towards the sidewalk a small distance away.

“It certainly looks like him.” Tikki confirmed, squinting at the figure. That wouldn’t be so weird, except he was walking in the direction they had just come.

“I thought he said his house was on the way here.” Marinette frowned.

“Maybe he just wanted to walk with you? Tikki suggested.

The idea made Marinette flush all over again.

“You- you think so?”

“I do! He said he had wanted to thank you and probably saw walking to your house as a good opportunity!” Tikki beamed.

Marinette drew in a breath, calming herself. There had to be another reason, right? Maybe it was like Luka, and Felix was just worried for her safety?

“Let’s-Let’s think about that later. Right now, we should really start patrol. Tikki, spots on!”

~~~~~~~

Paris looked even better as Ladybug jumped from rooftop to rooftop.

She thought about trailing Felix to make sure he got home alright, but decided against it when she thought about getting caught.

“It’s a Purr-fect night tonight, don’t you think My lady?”

Ladybug came to a halt when her partner called out to her.

“For once, I can agree.” She smiled, looking at the calike heroine on the rooftop across from her.

Chat Noir closed the distance between them, taking her hand into his.

“It’s not near as perfect as you, though, Bugaboo.” He winked, pressing a feather light kiss to her knuckles.

Ladybug slipped her hand out of his with a roll of her eyes and a playful smirk.

“What are you even doing out tonight? You’re supposed to be getting sleep.” She scolded.

Chat Noir gave her a small pout.

“I thought you’d be happy to see me, My Lady. I admit it hurts.”

“Stop avoiding, Chat.” Ladybug said in a stern yet somewhat coaxing tone. She’s known him long enough to know something’s up.

Chat hesitated at the order, scratching the back of his head.

“I just couldn’t get any sleep, that’s all.” He smiled sheepishly.

Ladybug squinted at him, crossing her arms and letting out a small huff. He was hiding something.

“Just make sure you go home soon, alright?”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t her place to pry.

Chat perked up and grinned. “As you wish, Bugaboo.”

Ladybug tisked, hiding a smile, and swung off with her yoyo.

Chat followed closely behind.

With the unexpected company, she made her rounds faster than she thought she would.

“Do you have to go home, now?” Chat whimpered, ears drooping. “We could hang out for a while? Enjoy the night?”

Ladybug offered a soft smile.

“Sorry, kitty. This bug’s got school tomorrow. I can’t stay out any later than I need to.” She apologized, reaching up to give him a scratch behind his cat ears.

Chat leaned into her touch and sighed. “I know. You’re right. You always are.”

“Goodnight, Chat.”

“Night, LB.”

The two then parted, Ladybug swinging home while Chat continued to roam the streets.

~~~~~~

Marinette dragged herself into the classroom the next morning, almost tripping on the stairs from drowsiness. Despite going to bed right after patrol, Marinette spent the night awake with jumbled thoughts. Worrying about Chat Noir, dreading going to school tomorrow, and thinking about Felix and his strange, yet accepted behavior. By the time she woke up the next morning, Marinette had only gotten a few hours of sleep.

Felix raised an eyebrow as the girl sat down. “You look exhausted.”

“You noticed?” Marinette retorted, rubbing her eyes and squinting at the door as her classmates came piling in.

While Marinette was on the brink of collapsing, Lila appeared to be as energetic as ever, as if she had taken Marinette’s energy as her own. The class swarmed her as usual, drinking in her every tale.

Marinette only pried her eyes from Lila when she noticed Felix pouring something into his drink.

“Did you just pour an energy drink into your triple-shot coffee??”

“It was a long night and it’s going to be an even longer day.” Felix answered simply, popping the lid back onto his coffee cup.

“...Can I have a sip?” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. Being this tired led to an extreme lack of inhibition.

Felix glanced up at her, that familiar, calculated expression across his features. Then, without a word, he pushed the cup towards her.

Marinette thanked him, taking a quick sip as requested.

True to form, Felix’s coffee was as bitter as his attitude towards the rest of the class. At least it gave Marinette the small boost she needed to start her day.

~~~~~~~

Felix took another drink of his coffee, thankful Mlle. Bustier allowed cups in her class. The walk home took longer than he thought, especially after taking Marinette home. The outcome was productive, though, so he found the detour worthwhile. Besides, the coffee was keeping him awake. No harm done.

Of course, he couldn’t say the same for Marinette. Her head began bobbing up and down as soon as Mlle. Bustier began teaching. The longer the class dragged on, Marinette’s eyes grew heavier and heavier.

He tried to assist in nudging her when she closed her eyes for too long.

Unfortunately, the process just repeated itself. Finally, she gave in to her drowsiness and- with a light *thud*- rested her forehead on their desk.

Felix heaved a mental sigh. She was lucky she didn’t snore.

His gaze flickered back and forth from the teacher to Marinette as he propped a book up in front of her to hide the fact she was sleeping.

He would have let her sleep through the whole class had it not been for the sudden rumbling through the school.

Mlle. Bustier paused her lecture, glancing around the classroom.

Felix narrowed his eyes as the rest of the class became antsy, looking out the windows or into the hallway.

“What’s goi-” He couldn’t even get his question out before another rumble shook the entire school, causing students to lose their balance and books to be knocked over.

It was then Marinette shot up, hearing the screams of the class.

“What happened? What’s going on?” She asked, immediately turning her attention to the door and standing up.

“I don’t know. Something made a thunder noise and everyone started panicking.” Felix answered, standing up as well, mostly because Marinette did.

Mlle. Bustier was still trying to calm the class. Alya was already out the door to “get the scoop”. Adrien wasn’t there either, so it was assumed he went with her.

“An akuma..” Marinette muttered, slipping out of her seat and running towards the door.

“A what?” Felix sputtered, following after her. He’d seen Akumas before, over the TV or in the sky. He’d never actually been in an akuma attack before, though.

He swung open the classroom door, but Marinette was nowhere in sight. Instead, he found students running around like headless chickens for an exit, some lying on the floor unconscious.

Above it all, floated a woman dressed in blues and purples, her black hair pulled into a bun, and her eyes a sparkling gold. It was unsettling, but also beautiful- in an other-worldly sort of sense.

“I am Nocturne.” Her voice echoed through the school, clueing Felix in on where the rumbling had come from. “We’ve spent too long sacrificing our sleep for such useless information and worthless letters. It is time we get the rest we need.”

She held out a golden staff, lightly tapping the end of it on someone’s head.

The person immediately slowed down, their eyes rolling back, before they collapsed on the ground.

Felix took a step back, still looking around for Marinette. She couldn’t have just disappeared, right? Had she been hit?

He scanned the ground for her familiar blue hair. Nothing.

“You!”

His gaze snapped upward.

The villain was staring him dead in the eyes. “You look like you could use a nap.”

With a malicious smile, she outstretched her staff.

He flinched backwards, but she was too close to evade. Or so he thought.

A flash of red appeared in his vision, then he was pushed backwards.

He stumbled, barely managing to keep his balance.

“Give it up, Nocturne! It doesn’t have to be this way!” Another voice joined the party.

Initially, Felix thought it was Marinette, due to the pigtails and the similar voice.

When he regained his thoughts, however, he realized it was, in fact, the red clad heroine, known as Ladybug. He had never seen her up close either.

“Oh, but I’m afraid it does.” Nocturne shot back, thrusting her staff in Ladybug’s direction.

The hero ducked, grabbed the staff, and yanked it out of her grasp.

The Akuma sneered, holding out her hand. As if magnetic, the staff rushed back into her hands, taking Ladybug with it.

Ladybug yelped as Nocturne tilted her staff forwards, trying to tap Ladybug’s head.

She was too fast, though. Ladybug swung herself forward, kicking Nocturne in the stomach and flipping backwards.

She landed in front of Felix, putting a protective arm in front of him.

“Get to safety!” She ordered, keeping her eye on the akuma.

“I can’t, I have to find one of my classmates!” He refused, glancing around the hall yet again.

He could’ve sworn he saw Ladybug pause- just for a moment.

“She’s safe. Don’t worry, you need to go.” She repeated, tensing when the villain finally recovered from her blow.

Felix raised an eyebrow. “How did you know it was a girl?”

Ladybug grimaced at the mistake, though Felix couldn’t see.

Nocturne lunged forward towards Ladybug, but was stopped when a silver baton extended into her path.

“Hope I’m not interrupting.” The black clad heroine grinned.

Nocturne glared at the feline.

“You’re late.” Ladybug remarked.

“Sorry, M’Lady, got a bit held up.”

Nocturne jumped at the cat, who jumped off the railing, landing next to Ladybug.

With Chat Noir as their defense, Ladybug scooped up Felix- with harsh protests on his part- and darted off to find a hiding place.

Tag list: @unabashedbookworm @bluerosette23 @minightrose @kuroko26 @im-here-for-the-content @angstyrastuff @clumsy-owl-4178 @fanboy7794 @choaticneturcl @bigcheeseyboi @burntnugget-tae @ayuchan07 @honorisfortheweak @knightrose15 @mjisntme @rhub4rb @simplythebestbug @wilhelmares @zebrabaker@dargeon-lissa @kristycocopop @alumneia

#Felinette #Felix Culpa #New Friends AU

758 notes · View notes

edendaphne · 5 years

Text

“Discordant Sonata”Ch. 6

I finally finished this chapter!!!

Read it here on Ao3

Read it here on Wattpad

CHAPTER 6: SOLO

(Mood Music: Sergei Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet: Dance of the Knights)

“YOU’LL REGRET THIS, CHLOE BOURGEOIS!!” the monster bellowed, angrily stomping down the street adjacent to the park where Adrien, Marinette, Nino, and Alya had been picnicking together. In the mayhem that began with the appearance of the akuma, he'd lost track of Marinette.

His head whipped in all directions looking for her, struggling to stay calm as he and Alya carried an injured Nino, rushing away from the conflict. Nino’s leg had been crushed under the falling rubble of a gazebo that they’d been hiding behind. The akumatized person had destroyed it as he zoomed through the park, trampling everything in his way while Ladybug tried to stop him from reaching the Grand Paris Hotel, where Chloe was no doubt hunkering down.

Adrien tried to bury away the memory of his best friend trapped under the debris, screaming in agony, face twisted in pain, and yet imploring, begging them to run and leave him behind; Alya’s shrieking, frantic and distraught, on the verge of hysteria. Right now he needed to focus and get his friends to safety.

Nino grunted in pain but declared optimistically, “It’s alright, guys. Ladybug’s gonna beat that guy and fix everything.” He lowered his head slightly so it would be level with his girlfriend’s and tried to reassure her, “I’ll be okay, Alya, don’t worry.”

Alya replied, still teary and shaken, “But she’s bleeding and I think I saw her running with a limp! I’ve never seen an akuma like this before… And what if Chat Noir shows up?!”

Adrien felt his stomach drop at the mention of Chat Noir. It always made him uncomfortable when he heard other people talk about his alter ego.

“I don’t know if she’d be able to handle both!” Alya continued, glancing over her shoulder at the battling duo. “If only there was some way for us to help.”

Nino stammered, unsure of how to comfort her. “I-- umm…”

“Let’s just focus on getting Nino out of here,” Adrien interrupted. “Ladybug’s tough, she can handle herself.”

...I hope.

Adrien’s mind went back to Marinette and his eyes darted around to resume his search.

“Guys, I’m really worried about Marinette. Where could she be?” he asked the pair. “I searched the gazebo to make sure she wasn’t trapped underneath, but what if something else happened to her?”

“I heard her yell that she was gonna go get help,” Nino replied quizzically. “But I was too distracted by the akuma, so I’m not sure where she ran off to.”

Alya shrugged with her unoccupied shoulder. “It’s okay, Adrien, this happens all the time during akuma attacks. With her luck she probably got stuck in a bathroom stall or something while trying to hide.” More quietly, she added, “Still... let’s keep our eyes peeled. That girl has a penchant for trouble sometimes. I’m sure we’ll find her where we least expect it.”

Just then, they caught a flash of red as Ladybug crashed into the building next to them, smashing through the large glass window of the café.

“Ladybug!!” Adrien cried in horror.

The heroine laboured to her feet, groaning and clutching her head. Debris and glass shards clinked and rolled off her frame as she rose and dusted herself off.

Adrien cringed. For the most part the suit protected her body, but she had several cuts on her face from the glass as well as a nasty bruise developing above one of her eyebrows. He couldn’t help but merely stand there and watch, frozen and breathless.

“Oh my God, are you alright?!” Alya exclaimed.

Upon seeing the three of them, Ladybug quickly straightened up, saluted them cheerfully and called back, “I’m okay!!” She did a double take upon seeing them holding up Nino. “Nino, are you alright??”

His head bobbed up and down and gave her a thumbs up. “Go get ‘em, LB!”

She gave him a fond smile. “Get yourselves to safety, I’ll draw him away from you!” She began to dash away, running after the akuma once again.

Snapping out of his stupor, Adrien called quickly, “Ladybug!”

She stopped and looked back at him questioningly. He faltered for a moment, trying desperately to untie his tongue.

“Be careful,” he finally said in a low voice.

Ladybug’s expression softened and she smiled at him. “Thanks, Adrien. I will.”

Adrien’s eyes lingered on her as she left. She didn’t seem like she was really okay, but merely putting on a brave and confident face for their sake.

His stomach churned unpleasantly. “Come on, let’s find you some shelter,” he muttered uneasily as he began walking again, dragging Nino along.

About a dozen meters away the akuma, a large, musclebound rugby player who’d taken on the appearance of a two-stories tall anthropomorphized rhinoceros in uniform, took an offensive stance and charged at Ladybug once again. She managed to somersault over him, but despite his size he was fast. He hurled his rugby ball at her as she landed, which she narrowly dodged. How could she forget about that ball?! Surely that was where the akuma was being held.

“I can help you!” Ladybug called out at the young man. “Whatever Chloe did, we can work through it together! You don’t have to do this!”

He roared in return. “I’m gonna destroy her! She humiliated me! You have NO idea what it’s like to be friendzoned!!”

Ladybug’s expression instantly fell into one of exasperated annoyance. “Seriously?!”

She dove to the side, spinning her yoyo to fling it at him. It managed to wrap around his legs. She tugged the string forcefully and the huge monster toppled over like a building. The loud crash boomed across several blocks and shook the ground.

She walked towards the akuma and huffed, “Chloe owes you nothing and you are being an entitled jerk for not respecting her rejection!”

Twisting his face in anger, he bellowed, “That shallow witch deserves no respect from me!”

“Everyone deserves respect!” Ladybug countered, keeping the string taut.

“But WHYYY?! Why would she reject me? I’m a nice guy!” The akuma stomped its feet like a petulant child as and preceded to throw a tantrum that rivaled Chloe on her worst days. “Sluts like her only go for the bad boys!” he whined, kicking the nearest car.

“Wow wow wow, you need to stop talking right now before I barf!!” she sputtered incredulously as she tugged. “You’re acting like a total creep and odds are that you make her extremely uncomfortable!”

“I’ll show YOU ‘uncomfortable’!” he shouted, suddenly yanking on the yo-yo string and sending her flying towards him with a yelp. He pulled back and buried his fist in her stomach, knocking the air out of her lungs . She was thrown a short distance away, landing with a rough thud and kicking up bits of crumbling pavement.

The trio of friends watched from afar, agape. This is very bad , Adrien thought, feeling lightheaded and nauseous.

Groaning and coughing, Ladybug struggled to stand up, arms wobbling as she slowly raised herself. Meanwhile, Reaver, as he called himself, had untangled himself from the yo-yo and stomped towards her.

Ladybug sprinted towards him and leaped over his fist as he swung at her again, then dove past him to retrieve her yo-yo. She summoned her Lucky Charm, receiving a bottle of cooking oil, which she eyed skeptically.

Before she could figure out a plan, however, the gigantic beast leaped towards her faster than she’d ever seen him move.

She didn’t have time to dodge.

With a loud cry he struck Ladybug with an overhead punch, striking her down once more. The Lucky Charm was knocked out of her hand, much too far for her to reach. She sprawled on the ground groaning weakly, trying to force herself up.

But Reaver never gave her the chance. He clasped his hands together and smashed his fists downward. With speed uncharacteristic for someone of his size, he hit her again, and again, and again. Pavement cracked and crumbled beneath her from tremendous force of his hits and somewhere amid the blows, Ladybug lost consciousness.

Adrien couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't bear to witness the utterly horrific way this sweet and giving girl was being pummelled.

She didn’t deserve this. It couldn’t end like this. A flood of images flashed through his mind, of her kind gestures and brilliant smile. Her gentle touches and comforting embraces, her thoughtfulness and concern over his wellbeing, not just for his civilian side, but for the side that was supposed to be her enemy. She was truly a beautiful person, both inside and out. The desire he felt - or rather- the need to protect her was almost painful and overwhelming.

If she died, he felt like a large part of him would die with her.

He let go of Nino and sprinted towards them with but a single thought reverberating in his head: I have to save her.

Before the monster’s fists could connect yet again, Adrien dove to where Ladybug lay unmoving and managed to roll them both out of the way. He scrambled to his feet, scooping her up swiftly, praying to any possible existing deity that she’d still be alive.

Then, unexpectedly, Adrien turned to face the akuma and shouted at the top of his lungs, “THAT’S ENOUGH, DAMN IT!!”

For a few moments the akuma faltered and his features scrunched in confusion. Then he frowned, raising his fist to strike again. Before he did, however, the familiar glowing butterfly-shaped mask appeared in front of his eyes. While the akuma argued with Hawkmoth, who was no doubt both bewildered and enraged at what had just occurred, Adrien bolted down the street cradling Ladybug in his arms. His heart wrenched in anguish as he held her close; her limp body felt so incredibly small and frail.

He had never been this terrified.

Adrien finally reached Nino and Alya and lay the battered girl on the grass between them. She was deathly still, blood bright red against pale skin. He quickly removed his sweater and rolled it up to place it under her head. Alya rushed to Ladybug’s side with Nino following suit, albeit crawling. At the sight of the beloved hero of Paris up close and observing the wretched condition she was in, a despondent Alya began to sob into Nino’s arms. Ladybug was Alya’s friend, Adrien remembered. They’d known each other for years and, of course, Alya ran the Ladyblog, which in recent years she’d been using as a sort of general helpline for all things Hawkmoth and akuma-related.

Fighting panic, Adrien tightly grasped Ladybug’s gloved hand and examined her for signs of life. With his other hand he reached for the pulse point on her neck, but then realized that he might not be able to feel it through her suit. Changing his approach, he hunched his body over hers, lowering his head so his face was lightly touching hers and waited, silent.

A few seconds passed. Finally, he felt her breathing on his cheek, shallow but steady.

He let out a large breath he didn’t realize he was holding and whispered, almost giddy, “She’s alive.” Alya and Nino gasped in relief and hugged each other.

Adrien stroked the top of her head slowly and cooed, “Ladybug, wake up, please, wake up.”

“We need to get her to the hospital,” Alya said.

“But would they even be able to help her?” Nino rushed, his voice breaking in panic. “She’s a superhero. Didn’t you see the hospital scene in ‘Superman Returns’ where they couldn’t even get an IV into his arm because of his superpowers? What if the same thing happens?”

“Nino!” Alya chided.

“No, he’s right,” Ladybug interjected, voice hoarse and gravelly.

“Ladybug!” the three of them cried and huddled around her.

Her eyes fluttered open, pupils struggling to focus. “Magic alters your body drastically. Regular medicine won’t help.”

“So what do we do then? We can’t just sit here and do nothing!” Alya countered.

Adrien looked back at the monster. The seemingly one-sided argument between the akuma and Hawkmoth got louder, and Reaver was quickly getting more and more irritated. Adrien wasn’t sure whether his father was trying to persuade the monster to leave them alone, or whether he was trying to convince him to go after them. At this point, Adrien realized that he honestly had no clue if his father would care if he got hurt in the process.

“We don’t have much time,” Ladybug replied weakly, getting his attention again. “The only thing that can fix everything is purifying the akuma and using the Ladybug Cure.”

She started to sit up, then let out a loud, pained yelp while clutching her side. Her breathing became more labored, as if her chest was being squeezed.

Adrien could swear he felt his stomach try to jump out of his body. “Ladybug, please, don't move! You're wounded!"

She waved it off as she continued to try to sit up. “I’m fine, it’s just a couple of bumps and scratches.”

When she was almost upright she cried out in agony and fell backwards, involuntary tears beginning to prick at her eyes.

“No, don’t! Your ribs might be broken, you could puncture a lung!” Adrien implored.

“I have to, there’s no other way!” she cried desperately, about to attempt to get up again.

Adrien gently but firmly tried to ease her back down and argued, “If you keep this up, he’ll kill you!”

She pushed back weakly as she struggled to keep her breaths even, “What choice do I have?! I’m the only one who can stop him!” Adrien stilled. She looked up at him, eyes shining, and with a desperate tremble in her voice she whispered, “There's no one else. Just me. I need to do this.”

Adrien stared back, astonished. He knew she was right. There was literally no one else in the world who could do what she did. Without her, not only would the akumatized victims hurt or kill innocent people, but it might not be possible to restore everything to the way it was originally, and all the damage, injuries, and casualties would become permanent. To her, defeat was simply never an option, and it never had been from the moment she took up the mantle of Ladybug.

Suddenly, just as he’d been dreading all along, he felt the ground shake and heard the giant stomping across the street towards them. Adrien bit his lip in trepidation and unconsciously squeezed Ladybug’s hand even tighter.

By now, his father was well aware that Adrien had developed a soft spot for their enemy; of that Adrien was certain. Gabriel was many things, but oblivious wasn’t one of them. Whether Gabriel believed that it was the same concern that Adrien held for innocent civilians, or whether he suspected it was something more, he had no idea.

Adrien knew that only two options were available to him from his current situation.

He could allow the akuma to forcibly remove Ladybug’s earrings; due to her extensive injuries, she wouldn’t be able to put up much resistance and would most likely survive… maybe.

Or... he could remove the earrings himself and hand them over to the akuma, thus sparing her from any further harm.

He didn’t even have to think about what he would do. To Adrien the choice was clear.

He slowly lifted his free hand towards Ladybug’s face and rested it on her jaw, tenderly stroking her cheek. She gasped slightly at the contact and couldn’t help but blush slightly, even at this time, which he found much too adorable. Adrien had to resist the urge to rub his thumb over her mouth to wipe at a small cut on her lower lip. She held his gaze, her vivid cerulean eyes glistening in the sunlight, still so innocent and hopeful despite years of strife and hardship. He smiled despite himself. Even in her current state, disheveled, covered in grime, cuts, and bruises, she was stunningly beautiful.

Tucking some stray locks of hair behind her ear, Adrien gave her hand one last squeeze and said to her softly, “You don’t have to do this alone.”

Abruptly, he stood up and turned away from the group.

“Stay here and keep Ladybug with you,” he addressed Nino and Alya. “Don’t let anything happen to her.”

Then he ran.

#Discordant Sonata #Miraculous Ladybug #Ladynoir #Ladrien #Enemies AU #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Adrien Agreste #fanfiction #Eden writes

118 notes · View notes

spy-in-the-house · 5 years

Audio

SpyInTheHouse 674.fm ElectroFilesSpecial_04252019

... detailed insights later!

TRACK LISTING

01 THE DISCO 3 [FAT BOYS/ DAMON WIMBLEY, DARREN ROBINSON, MARK MORALES]: Reality _ Beat Version [ A-side from Sutra Records SUD-018 US 12" | 1983 ] 02 FAB 5 FREDDY [FRED BRATHWAIT]: Change The Beat (French And English Rap) [ A-side from "Fab 5 Freddy/ Beside ‎– Change The Beat" Celluloid CEL-156 US 12" | 1982 ] 03 D.ST. [DEREK SHOWARD]: The Home Of Hip Hop [ A-side from "Home Of Hip Hop" Celluloid CEL-185 US 12" | 1985 ] 04 THE RAKE [JA]: Street Justice [ A-side from "Street Justice" Profile Records PRO-7024 US 12" | 1983 ] 05 LOVEBUG STARSKI [KEVIN W.SMITH]: Say What You Wanna Say [ B2-track from "House Rocker" Epic BFE-40255 US LP/Album | 1986 ] 06 BOBBY DEMO [BOB BOYER & DEMO CATES]: More Ounce (Rap) [ A-side from Amherst Records AMHD-6 US 12" | 1981 ] 07 WORLD's FAMOUS SUPREME TEAM [SE'DIVINE PRICE & R.LARKINS]: Hey! D.J. _ Extended Version [ A-side from "Hey! D.J." Charisma TEAM-1-12 UK 12" | 1984 ] 08 TYRONE BRUNSON: The Smurf [ A-side from "The Smurf" Believe In A Dream 4Z9-03166 US 12" | 1982 ] 09 REGGIE GRIFFIN & TECHNOFUNK: Mirda Rock _ Vocal [ A-side from "Mirda Rock" Sweet Mountain Records SM-604 US 12" | 1982 ] 10 WARP 9 [ADA DYER, CAROLYN HARDING, CHUCK WANSLEY, KATHRINE JOYCE, LOTTI GOLDEN, MILTON BROWN, RICHARD SCHER]: NUNK (New Wave Funk) _ Extended Mix [ A-side from "Nunk" Prism PDS-450 US 12" | 1982 ] 11 JOHN DAVIS & TOO MUCH: Destination Earth [ A1-title-track from Metrovynil-841294 US LP/Album | 1984 ] 12 SEXUAL HARRASSMENT [LYNN TOLLIVER JR./ aka DAVID PAYTON]: I Need A Freak _ Long Version [ A-side from Montage Records MS-605 US 12" | 1983 ] 13 STRAFE [STRAFFE/ STEVE STANDARD]: Set It Off _ Vocal [ A-side from Jus Born Records JB-001 US 12" | 1984 ] 14 STRAFE: Comin' From Another Place _ Deluxe Version [ A1-track from A&M Records SP-12152 US 12" | 1985 ] 15 MAN PARRISH [MANUEL JOSEPH PARRISH]: Hip Hop, Be Bop (Don't Stop) _ Special Disconet R.E.M.I.X(es) [ B-side from Importe/12 MP-321 US 12" + A-side from Rams Horn Records RAMSH-12-3176 NL 12" | 1982/83 ] 16 DIVINE SOUNDS [MICHAEL DOWLING, RICHARD DOWLING, SHELTON McCOY]: What People Do For Money [ A-side from "What People Do For Money" Specific Records SR-243 US 12" | 1984 ] 17 PAUL HARDCASTLE: 19 _ Destruction Mix [ A-side from "19 (Destruction Mix)" Chrysalis CHS-22 2860 UK 12" | 1985 ] 18 TIME ZONE [AFRIKA BAMBAATAA, AMAD HENDERSON, B-SIDE, MOTIVATOR, RUSTY EGAN]: The Wildstyle [ A-side from "The Wildstyle" Celluloid ‎– CEL 165 US 12" | 1983 ] 19 FREESTYLE [GARFIELD BAKER & BYRON SMITH]: Automation _ Dub Mix [ B-side from "It's Automatic" Music Specialists ‎MSI-114 US 12" | 1986 ] 20 K-9 CORPS feat. PRETTY C: Dog Talk [ A-side from "K-9 Corp / George Clinton ‎– Dog Talk / Man's Best Friend" Capitol Records 8562 US 12" | 1983 ] 21 CAPTAIN RAPP [LARRY EARL GLENN]: Bad Times, I Can't Stand It _ Part 1 [ A-side from "Bad Times (I Can't Stand It)" Saturn Records SAT-2003 US 12" | 1983 ] 22 PROJECT FUTURE [RAHNI P.HARRIS & DAVID SPRADLEY]: Ray-Gun-Omics [ A-side from "Ray-Gun-Omics/Arcade Lover" Capitol Records 8555 US 12" | 1983 ] 23 PAC-MAN [FREDDY PACKMAN]: I'm A Pacman [ A-side from "I'm A Pac Man / Play It Again Sam" ZYX Records - 5071 GER 12" | 1983 ] 24 XēNA [LISA FISHER]: On The Upside [ A-side from Emergency Records ‎EMDS-6541 US Promo-12" | 1983 ] 25 I.M.S. [INTERNATIONAL MUSIC SYSTEM/ REBECCA McLAIN, GEORGE STEFANI, PAUL LIMOLI]: Nonline [ A1-track from "Nonline" Emergency Records ‎EMDS-6539 US Promo-12" | 1983 ] 26 WHODINI [DREW CARTER, JALIL HUTCHINS, JOHN FLETCHER]: The Haunted House Of Rock [ A1-track from "T.H.O.R." Jive VJ-12015 US 12" | 1983 ] 27 THE UNKNOWN D.J. [ANDRÉ PIERRE MANUEL]: Basstronic [ A1-track from "Basstronic" Techno Kut Records TK-1207 / Macola Records US Promo-12" | 1988 ] 28 TWILIGHT 22 [GORDON BAHARY & JOSEPH SAULTER]: Electric Kingdom _ Vocal Version [ A1-track from "Electric Kingdom" Vanguard ‎SPV-68 US 12" | 1983 ] 29 E.ST.JAMES: What's Done In The Darkness (Always Comes To Light) _ Dance Party Mix [ B-side from Razmtaz RAZ-5503 US 12" | 1987 ] 30 KEN LEWIS: Cosmic Cars [ A-side from "Ken Lewis/ D. K. Gang ‎– Cosmic Cars/ Cosmic Dub" Scorpio DK-82-03 CAN 12" | 1982 ] 31 CYBOTRON [RICHARD DAVIS/ 3070 & JUAN ATKINS]: Clear [ A-side from "Clear / Industrial Lies" Fantasy D-216 US 12" | 1983 ] 32 PAUL HARDCASTLE: Rain Forest [ A-side from "Rain Forest / Sound Chaser" Bluebird BRT-8 UK 12" | 1984 ] 33 NATASHA KING [NATASCIA MAIMONE]: AM-FM _ Instrumental [ B-side from "AM-FM" Emergency Records ‎EMDS-6536 US Promo-12" | 1983 ] 34 WHODINI: Magic's Wand _ Special Extended Mix [ B-side from "Magic's Wand" Jive VJ-12008 US Promo-12" | 1982 ] 35 DAVID ST.GEORGE: I'm Rappin _ Vocal [ B1-track from "Love Stimulation / I'm Rappin" Malaco Records MAL-1217 US 12" | 1985 ] 36 JAZZY JEFF [THE SOURCE/ JEFFREY MIREE]: King Heroin (Don't Mess With Heroin) _ Fix Mix [ A2-track from Jive JD-1-9330 US 12" | 1985 ] //...

#ClausBachor #spyinthehouse_radio #spyinthehouse #psychothrillcologne #674fm #somewhereincologne #electro #electronica

2 notes · View notes

whatisonthemoon · 2 years

Text

Reverend Moon: Cult leader, CIA asset, and Bush family friend is dead

Bob Fitrakis September 4, 2012

The death of Reverend Sun Myung Moon hopefully ends one of the strangest chapters in U.S. security industrial complex history. The self-proclaimed "Messiah" who owned dozens of businesses including Kahr Arms, and who once claimed to have presided over Jesus' wedding posthumously in order to get the Christian savior into heaven, was ultimately a front in the United States for friends in the CIA like George Herbert Walker Bush.

Moon founded the Washington Times newspaper in 1982 and the Washington Post went out of its way to avoid any mention of the "the dark side of the Moon" upon his death Monday, September 3, 2012 at age 92. When George W. Bush faltered in New Hampshire in early 2000, it was Moon's shadowy cultish right-wing network that came to its rescue in South Carolina. Moon's forces helped turn a certain primary defeat into a double-digit victory by spreading Moonies, his zombie-like followers, throughout the state. As the Washington Post reported, "An array of conservative groups have come to reinforce Bush's message with phone banks, radio ads, and mailings of their own."

Meanwhile, Moon's Washington Times ran the headline "Bush scoffs at assertion he moved too far right." The bizarre, almost unbelievable political alliance between the Bush family and Rev. Moon is one of the dirty little secrets of CIA involvement in U.S. domestic politics.

To understand the historical significance of Rev. Moon and his Moonies, one must start with Ryoichi Sasakawa, identified in a 1992 Frontline investigative report as the key money source behind Moon's far-flung world religious/business empire. Sasakawa bragged to Time magazine that he was "the world's richest fascist."

In the 1930s, Sasakawa was one of Japan's leading fascists. He organized a private army of 1500 men equipped with 20 war planes. His followers were Japan's version of Mussolini's Black Shirts. Sasakawa was a key figure in leading Japan into World War II and was an "uncondemned Class-A war criminal." Following WW II, he was captured and imprisoned for war crimes. According to U.S. documents, Sasakawa was suddenly freed with another accused war criminal, Yoshio Kodama, a prominent figure in Japan's organized crime syndicate, the Yakuza. They were freed in 1948, one year after the National Security Act established the CIA as the successor to the Office of Strategic Services (OSS). In January 1995, Japan's KYODO News Service uncovered documents establishing that Kodama's release coincided with an agreement he had made with U.S. military intelligence two months earlier to serve as an informant. Declassified documents link Kodama's release to the CIA.

During WW II, Kodama activities, according to the U.S. Army counterintelligence records consisted of "systematically looting China of its raw materials" and dealing in heroin, guns, tungsten, gold, industrial diamonds and radium. Both Sasakawa's and Kodama's CIA ties are a reoccurring theme in their relationship with Rev. Moon.

In 1997, Congressman Donald Fraser launched an investigation into Moon's cult. The 444-page Congressional report alleged Moonie involvement with bribery, bank fraud, illegal kickbacks, and arms sales. The report revealed that Moon's 20,000-member Unification Church was a creation of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency (KCIA). The Moonies were working with KCIA Director Kim Chong Phil as a political instrument to influence U.S. foreign policy. The U.S. CIA was the agency primarily responsible for founding the KCIA after WW II. The Moon organization has denied any link with the U.S. intelligence agencies or the Korean government.

Moon, who is Korean, and his two fascist Japanese buddies Kodama and Sasakawa, worked together in the early 1960s to form the Asian People's Anti-Communist League with the aid of KCIA agents. The League allegedly used Japanese organized crime money and financial support from Chinese Generalissimo Chiang Kai-Shek. The League concentrated its efforts on uniting fascist and right-wing militarists into an anti-Communist force throughout Asia.

In 1964, League funds established Moon's Freedom Center in the United States. Kodama served as a chief advisor to the Moon's subsidiary Win Over Communism, an organization that served as a conduit to protect Moon's South Korean financial investments. Sasakawa acted as Win Over Communism's Chair.

In 1966, the League merged with another fascist organization, the Anti-Bolshevik Block of Nations. The merger begat the World Anti-Communist League (WACL). Later, in the 1980s, the retired U.S. Major General John Singlaub emerged from the shadows of the League to become caught up in the Iran-Contra scandal. As Chairman of the WACL, Singlaub enlisted soldiers of fortune and other paramilitary groups to support the Contra cause in Nicaragua against the Sandinistas.

Moon's Freedom Center served as the headquarters for the League in the U.S. During the Iran-Contra hearings, the League was described as a "multi-national network of Nazi war criminals, Latin American death squad leaders, North American racists, and anti-Semites and fascist politicians from every continent."

Working with the KCIA, Moon made his first trip to the U.S. in 1965 and shockingly obtained an audience with former President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Both "Ike" and former President Harry S. Truman lent their names to letterhead of the Moon-created Korean Cultural Freedom Foundation. In 1969, Moon and Sasakawa jointly formed the Freedom Leadership Foundation, a pro-Vietnam War organization that lobbied the U.S. government.

In the 1970s, Moon earned notoriety in the so-called Koreagate scandal. Female followers of the Unification Church were accused of entertaining and horizontally lobbying U.S. Congressmen while keeping confidential files on those they "lobbied" at a Washington Hilton Hotel suite rented by the Moonies. The U.S. Senate held hearings concerning Moon's "programmatic bribery of U.S. officials, journalists, and others as part of an operation by the KCIA to influence the course of U.S. foreign policy." The Fraser report documented that Moon was "paid by the KCIA to stage demonstrations at the United Nations and run pro-South Korean propaganda campaigns." The Congressional investigator for the Fraser report said, "We determine that their (Moonies') primary interest, at least in the U.S. at that time, was not religion at all but was political, it was an attempt to gain power, influence and authority."

After Ronald Reagan's presidential victory in 1980, Moon's political influence increased dramatically. Vice President George Bush, former CIA director, invited Moon as his guest to the Reagan inauguration. Bush and Moon shared unsavory links to South American underworld figures. In 1980, according to the investigative magazine I.F., the Moon organization collaborated with a right-wing military coup in Bolivia that established the region's first narco-state.

Moon's credentials soared in conservative circles. In 1982, with the inception of the propaganda tabloid the Washington Times. Vice President Bush immediately saw the value of forging an alliance with the politically powerful Moon organization, an alliance that Moon claims made Bush president. One former-Moonie website claims that during the 1988 Bush-Dukakis battle, Rev. Moon threatened his followers that they would be moved out of the United States if the evil Dukakis won.

Moon himself lacked clean hands. Moon was convicted of income tax evasion in 1982 and spent a year in a U.S. jail. Also in 1982, the Moon organization based at Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio helped elect John Kasich, now Ohio's governor, to the U.S. Congress in 12th district. During the Gulf War, the Moonie-sponsored American Freedom Coalition organized "support the troops" rallies throughout the country.

The Frontline documentary identified the Washington Times as the most costly piece in Moon's propaganda arsenal, with losses estimated as high as $800 million. Still, the documentary asserts that his old friend Sasakawa's virtual monopoly over the Japanese speedboat gambling industry allowed money to continuously flow into U.S. coffers.

The Bush-Moonie connection caused considerable controversy in September 1995 when the former President announced he would be spending nearly a week in Japan on behalf of a Moonie front organization, the Women's Federation for World Peace, founded and led by Moon's wife.

Bush downplayed accusations of Moonie brain-washing and coercion. The New York Times noted that Bush's presence "is seen by some as lending the group [Moonies] legitimacy."

Long-time Moonie member S.P. Simmonds wrote an editorial for the Portland Press Herald noting that Bushes "didn't need the reported million dollars paid by Moon and were well aware of the Church's history." Other news sources placed the figure for the former President's presence at $10 million. Bush shared the podium with Moon's wife and addressed a crowd of 50,000 in the Tokyo dome. Bush told the faithful "Reverend and Mrs. Moon are engaged in the most important activities in the world today."

The following year, Moon bankrolled a series of "family values" conferences from Oakland to Washington D.C. The San Francisco Chronicle reported, "In Washington, Moon opened his checkbook to such Republican Party mainstays as former President Gerald Ford and George Bush, GOP presidential candidate Jack Kemp, and Christian Coalition leader Ralph Reed."

Purdue University Professor of Sociology Anson Shupe, a long-time Moon-watcher, said, "The man accused of being the biggest brainwasher in America has moved into mainstream Republican Americana."

Moon proclaimed at his family values conferences that he was only one who knew "all the secrets of God." One of them, according to the Chronicle was that "the husband is the owner of his wife's sex organs and vice versa."

"President Ford, President Bush, who attended the inaugural World Convention of the Family Federation for World Peace" and all you distinguished guests are famous, but there's something that you do know now," the Chronicle quoted Moon as saying. "Is there anyone here who dislikes sexual organs? . . . Until now you may not have thought it virtuous to value the sexual organs, but from now, you must value them."

In November 1996, Bush the Elder arrived in Buenos Aires, Argentina, amid controversy over a newly-created Spanish language Moon weekly newspaper called Tiempos del Mundo. Bush smoothed things over as the principle speaker at the paper's inaugural dinner on November 23rd.

The former president then traveled with Moon to neighboring Uruguay to help him open a Montevideo seminary to train 4200 young Japanese women to spread the word of the Unification Church across Latin America. The young Japanese seminarians were later accused of laundering $80 million through a Uruguayan bank, according to the St. Petersburg Times. The Times also reported that when Rev. Jerry Falwell's Liberty University faced bankruptcy, Moon bailed it out with millions of dollars of loans and grants.

In 1997 the New York Times wrote that Moon "has been reaching out to conservative Christians in this country in the last few years by emphasizing shared goals like support for sexual abstinence outside of marriage and opposition to homosexuality." Moon also appealed to Second Amendment advocates. In March 1999, the Washington Post reported that the cult leader owned the lucrative Kahr Arms company through Saeilo Inc.

It's the shadowy network around the Moonies and the CIA that helped propel both George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush into the presidency. Recently the "Messiah's" newspaper has spent most of its time attacking President Obama.

Besides the Washington Times, the Unification Church had business holdings including the United Press International (UPI). Moon was often shown in the mainstream media presiding over mass marriages of his followers. More importantly was his marriage of convenience to the CIA and the Bush family. His corruption of American politics lives on.

#unification church #moonies #sun myung moon #john singlaub #fascism

0 notes

cynicaldesire · 7 years

Text

Ace Detective - Ch. 2 Ryukoto - Persona 5

< Prev

Makoto did her best to ignore the buzzing of her phone on the table beside her manga. She flipped another page and smiled absently at the images. Despite the dark and gory nature of the series, it still held small moments of clarity and kindness. It reminded her of someone.

She sighed and grabbed her phone. Messages from the group, mostly. She deleted a few old threads, all except for the one from a couple weeks ago, after their adventure with the Calling Cards. She felt it, a something during their outing, the fluster of a shoujo heroine when his body loomed over hers, when she pressed him against the wall, when he came out with the shirt too tight, when she had to pretend to be his girlfriend, when they sat together at the diner, when she had to take his hand for any reason. So she deleted threads daily so as to avoid the message she sent to him getting automatically removed.

She hadn’t ever been one for frivolous romantic tripe like other girls, so focused on her studies and performing to the standards set forth by the adults in her life. She had to make her sister proud, live up to the legacy of her father. Being Student Council President came with duties that she had to uphold, with responsibilities she had to the other students and teachers. She had so little time that she allowed for anything that did not advance her worth to those people.

Being with the Phantom Thieves forced her to rethink her priorities. She had the grades, the position, the appearance, everything that gave her prestige and made the adults in her life happy. But she couldn’t tell if it made her happy. She had no hobbies, no friends, and most of the students seemed to dislike her. She wanted those things, for people to like her, befriend her, and share interests.

A sharp, loud noise from the hallway startled her. Someone must’ve dropped a book as they left the library. Distracted from her thoughts, she looked to the time; school would close soon. She started to gather up her things and took one last look at her phone. One thing did make her happy. But would her new friends like it?

She took a slow breath. The school would close to students, but on Monday nights, the gym had been rented out to the local Kendo club. The janitor knew her well and trusted her to use the gymnasium between closing and the club meeting. He would have to clean it again after the club meeting anyway. She did her best to keep it cleaner than she found it as recompense. With her newest extracurricular activities, it might be a good idea to do a bit of training. Her damage output seemed to be lower than the rest of the team’s. While she enjoyed Aikido, she had let her body and skill atrophy in favor of her studies and investigations.

Makoto took one last look at her phone before she placed it in her bag. She kept all her Aikido things in the locker room, but she would need something from the vending machine to hydrate and replenish her electrolytes. The vending machines in the courtyard should provide what she needed.

She smiled to a few students that loitered in the courtyard. They offered disingenuous smiles and packed up their things while she purchased her drink. The machine rattled as her beverage dropped and Makoto heard the students fade away as she recovered the bottle. She gripped the cold bottle tightly. No one liked her. Her jaw clenched, eyes downcast. Aikido would help. A quick glance at the time allowed her to begin planning a regimen of kata to run through before the kendo club arrived.

As she crossed the courtyard to the gymnasium, she heard heavy panting beyond the railing. Students weren’t allowed in the grass after what happened with Suzui, especially with the grounds closing. One deep breath, a bolster to her fortitude, and she moved to the gate that led to the lawn.

She followed the panting around the corner of the practice building. “Excuse me?” Her voice came out stronger than she felt.

A dyed blonde head bobbed between knees covered by large hands. “Hol’ on…” He managed the request through his breaths, an exercise Makoto actually recognized.

Makoto stiffened. Ryuji’s shirt clung to his back, moist with sweat. She swallowed, distracted by the musculature defined by the simple white cloth. Her heart beat faster, those silly, frivolous feelings burbling up again.

He lifted his head and released her from staring. “Oh, it’s you.” No disdain laced his voice, but she heard no affection either. “What are you still doin’ here, Miss President?”

Her grip tightened on the straps of her bag. “I-… I don’t have Student Council meetings on Mondays, but I like to stay in the Student Council room to catch up on work.”

He continued to breathe heavily as she spoke. He nodded absently. “I guess you, uh… came around here to-“ He swallowed, a weak attempt to catch his breath. “To remind me this area is off-limits?”

Her brow furrowed. He never seemed this exhausted in the Metaverse. “Sakamoto-kun, are you all right?”

He laughed once and nodded again. “Yeah, m’okay. I’ll head out in a bit.” He placed a hand on the wall beside him to begin post-workout stretches.

Makoto watched his body bend and stretch, the muscles of his legs and arms work under the skin. She had never noticed it before, not in any of her Aikido classes or spars. Why did this blonde punk bother her so much?

He seemed to favor his right leg, more effort put into the stretch, pain twisted his countenance as he worked it with a small grunt. Her brow furrowed; rumors surrounded the disbandment of the track team, but Ryuji had been suspended after the incident, there’s no way Kamoshida broke his leg. That man had been a vile pervert, not-… He had been abusive, as well. Those rumors rang true. So many awful things happened at her school, right under her nose, and she never knew. What made this one so hard to believe?

“Don’t you have work to catch up on, senpai? I’ll be good, like you said.” His breath finally caught, he turned to her, words amicable but she felt the bitterness behind them.

She looked up to his earthy brown eyes, contrasted sharply by his blonde hair, less unruly after his workout. A smile graced her lips despite herself. “I was actually on my way to do some Aikido training before the Kendo club meets in the gym.”

Ryuji’s brow lifted. “For real? I thought they closed it off after classes for cleaning and shhhhhhtuff.” He winced slightly, aware of his slip of the tongue, conscious to not swear around her.

She chuckled. Leave it to Ryuji to lift her mood by just being himself. “I made a deal with the janitor. I’m one student, the Student Council President, he trusts me to keep it clean and taken care of. Besides, I need the time to think. Running through a few kata helps to clear my head.”

His eyes fell away from hers, to the ground. He turned away to grab his Dr. Salt NEO. Makoto’s brow lifted; she’d have assumed he’d have a soda. “Sorry for keeping you out so late last night, senpai.”

She smiled brightly. “Oh, it was no trouble, Sakamoto-kun. You needed the help with your studies and I’m more than happy to provide.”

He took a swig of his sports drink. “I’ll try not to ask ya too much. I ain’t smart enough to get it all anyway.”

Makoto frowned. She hated hearing the delinquent self-deprecate. He had too many good qualities that he and everyone else ignored because of one mistake. She gripped her own Dr. Salt NEO tighter.

His body bent at the waist to drop his drink in his bag. He straightened up and grabbed the hem of his gym uniform and lifted it to wipe his face. Makoto felt the warmth invade her cheeks as the white cloth covered his face.

Her eyes drifted down to gaze at the definition of his athletic body. Any frivolous thoughts burned away as she took stock of the bruises that peppered his flesh. “Ryuji!” She dropped her Dr. Salt NEO and took a few frantic steps forward.

Brown eyes appeared from behind white cloth at his name shouted in panic. He followed her hands to his abdomen, to the bruises, and whipped his shirt back down to cover them. Red met brown, both determined.

“Ryuji, where did those come from?” Panic and worry welled inside her. He winced at her question.

His eyes tore away to the bottle she dropped. Grass rustled as he shifted around to grab the white, salty beverage. “Don’t worry about it, senpai, it’s nothin’.” He held the bottle out to her.

She shook her head. “Like hell I won’t worry! You’re my friend.”

His brow lifted at her outburst. She shifted her weight to cross her arms. If he wouldn’t tell her, she would have to find out. Preliminary suspects; who would want to hurt him? Probably everyone at the school. Probably even those outside of the school. She had to narrow the suspect pool. Who would he protect? Family, first. She had heard rumors of his home life as well, an abusive father and a mother that did her best. Could the father still be at home? No, she had heard from Akira that Ryuji only had his mother left. So that left friends?

“Was it Ann?” Makoto narrowed her eyes at him.

He shook the bottle at her. “C’mon, senpai, it’s nothin’. I promise. You won’t have much time to do trainin’ if you stick around here.”

Her jaw tensed. She snatched the bottle from him. “I’ll find out who did this to you, Ryuji.” She worked to unscrew the cap. Who else? Ryuji had isolated himself from clubs after last year, though not entirely of his own design. Extra-curricular? They had spent a great deal of time in Mementos recently. “Was it the Shadows?” She chugged a bit. Couldn’t be, why would he cover that up?

He perked up a bit at her question. “Ah, ya got me, senpai. Those Shadows can get… pretty tough. Anyway, I’ma go uh… hit the showers before I head home.”

She knew that tone. A nervous lie. He’s obviously covering for someone. But if it were Ann, he’d probably complain about it, talk about what a bitch she can be, but remind her of their friendship. Makoto didn’t believe she’d ever go that far. It had to be someone else.

He leaned down to grab his bag. Makoto felt an uneasiness settle into her gut. She wanted to help him, to protect him, if she could. But she couldn’t if he didn’t let her, if he hid the truth. She heard about this before from her father, from her sister, from her studies, of the abused that refused to speak out against their abuser. The only real way to convince them to do so, to charge them or testify, would be to convince them of their safety with the police.

She would just have to do that. Make him believe her to be a friend, someone he could be safe with. He shifted around her, headed back to the main building. She grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. “Ryuji!”

He flinched and looked to her hand before he turned around to her. “Yeah?”

Makoto felt the butterflies flit in her stomach. Her hand snapped up to fuss with her uneven bangs, a futile attempt to tuck the longer bits behind her ears. “I… After-…” She pressed her lips together, his eyebrows piqued at her stuttering. “How about I meet you at the shoe lockers after you clean up?”

He turned his head to eye her sidelong. “Why?”

She took a slow breath. Suspicion. “You need some carbs after that workout, right? I’ll come with you. Maybe we could get one last study session in before exams on Wednesday.”

He laughed once, eyes on the ground. He lifted his free hand to his shoulder to rotate the joint. “Nah, I’ve had enough studying for one week. Shit was brutal.” His hands moved together to open his bottle. “Thanks, by the way, for doing your best with me. I know I ain’t smart or easy to teach.” He lifted the beverage to his lips.

Makoto watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. More self-deprecation. Almost as if the boy preferred to believe himself inferior. “You’re welcome. How about I take you to your favorite ramen place then?”

His body lurched, a bit of his beverage spurted around the bottle’s opening. He lowered the bottle quickly, splashed a bit more on the ground, and wiped his face. “For real! It’s all the way in Ogikubo, though!”

Makoto smiled. His demeanor completely changed. She had played the right card. “Of course. If you have the money for the ride, I’ll pay for the meal.”

He grinned and quickly spun the cap back on his drink. “I’ll meet you at the shoe lockers!” He waved and bounded off toward the gymnasium.

Makoto giggled at her kouhai’s enthusiasm. That flutter in her stomach shifted to her chest as she made her way back through the school to the shoe lockers. She sat down on one of the shoe changing benches and watched a few students wander out together. Her smile at Ryuji’s excitement had not diminished when he left. She laughed once at the thought of him so excited, every emotion turned as high as possible on the dyed blonde.

So when he muted those emotions, she noticed. She sensed his frustrations throughout the day, highest after he changed back to his normal clothes at the end of their Calling Card adventure. Anxiety had her playing and replaying the entire afternoon over and over again in her mind in hopes that she might determine the cause. He seemed affable, as if the whole endeavor seemed fun and exciting to him, until she mentioned his grades.

That had to have been the turning point. Any other spat they got into seemed to solve itself, resolved quickly through his compassionate nature or simple apathy. But his grades brought forth the most self-deprecating comments, the anger that he did his best to cover. He had touched her when emotion overcame her and she had hoped it might work the same for him. She remembered earlier in the afternoon he had started any time she touched him, but he quickly relaxed, the table quieted when his leg stopped bouncing, when she touched his hand.

So she hugged him. She wanted him to feel a warm embrace the way she had once. But something about it had angered him further. The train ride home only intensified her worry and anxiety. She hadn’t made it better. And she had texted him before her stop. About today she entitled it.

She kept her phone on her the rest of the night, worried for her colleague. She hated to see that look in his eye, so far removed from his energy as Skull or even on school grounds as the delinquent Ryuji. Something about him felt wrong, not like Ryuji at all. She checked her phone every few minutes during her studying, through dinner, and would’ve taken the device into the bath with her if she had a waterproof case. Instead, she woke up with the charging cable wrapped around her wrist as the phone buzzed frantically in alarm. And weeks later, he hadn’t replied to it. She made sure to delete as many other threads as she could to ensure that message remained. An ember of hope that he might address her concerns outlined in the message.

That anxiety, that worry, forced a realization within her. She had no idea how to help him. She wanted desperately to do so, but she didn’t know him outside of her investigation. And without his reply, she couldn’t pretend to be anything more than a colleague to him. A partner in Thievery. So she would have to try to find common ground.

Jinbocho had been her first stop. The literary district carried all sorts of books, but she hunted for manga. She ended up directed to the more otaku of districts, such as Akihabara and Nakano Broadway. Akiba upset her, reminded her of things she would rather bury, all bright lights and maid cafes like the red light district of Shinjuku, but Nakano Broadway felt more like a large mall with all manner of interests. But she had to persevere so that she could get closer to the Thieves and potentially the student body.

And so she delved into manga, first seeking out the series he carried with him. She had barely gotten through the first volume when she realized how weak it made her. Darkness, gore, hopelessness, all in terrifying measure. A return trip garnered her different manga, something to lift her spirits and cleanse her mental palate so that she might dive in again. She strove for manga that might enrich her, something intellectual, but she found herself drawn to the shoujo romance, to the cute animal stories, to the detective stories and historical dramas. But she continued to purchase or borrow the next volume of his manga. She had to connect with him. And, despite the content, his manga gave her a lot to think about.

She took a slow breath. The foyer of the school had cleared out a while ago. With no idea how much longer Ryuji might take, she reached into her bag to pull out the alternate manga, the cleansing manga, she had purchased.

“For real?” His voice came from across the foyer, barely noticeable to her if not for the extreme quiet.

She looked to her partner-in-crime and closed the book. As she stood, he shuffled to his locker to switch his shoes out. Makoto crossed the foyer to stand near him. He smelled clean. Something heady. She swallowed the butterflies back to her gut.

He locked his shoe locker and turned to the Student Council President. His brow furrowed for a moment, one arm lifted to rub the back of his head. “So, uh… You were serious, huh?”

Makoto lifted her bag to her shoulder. “Dead serious. So where are we going?”

Brown eyes drifted over her features, his hand dropped from the back of his neck. “Well, there’s this stellar ramen shop in Ogikubo, but the fare is kinda steep and the ramen isn’t exactly cheap so-“

Makoto smiled brightly. “That’s fine. Like I said, you pay for your fare and I’ll pay for your meal.” She turned away and headed for the door.

“H-Hey.” His shoes thumped after her. His larger hand dropped onto her thin shoulder. “Senpai, really, you don’t gotta pay for it. Why would you want to, anyway?”

The butterflies took flight at his touch. She shook her head. “You deserve it, Ryuji. After everything you did for me with Kaneshiro and-“

He shushed her sharply. “C’mon, really? And you guys give me shit about it.”

A flush found her cheeks, her shoulders lifted. “Sorry!” She hissed the apology out, embarrassed. “But seriously, with everything you do for our friends and your dedication to your studies and your training, I think a nice bowl of ramen is the least I can do.”

He scratched at his face, a feeble attempt to hide the blush that darkened his cheeks. “Even if I am just an idiot?”

Makoto frowned. Very little mirth accompanied his self-deprecation. Her hand shifted from her bag to gently hit her knuckles against his chest. “You’re not an idiot, Ryuji.”

He chuckled at her action and nodded. “Okay, all right. Let’s get goin’ then. Man, you’re gonna love this place. You ever been?”

His mood apparently lifted, Makoto calmed. She had done something right, at least. She shook her head and led them from the school. “No. I tend to stay close to home.”

He rushed to hold the door open for her, grin brighter than the setting sun. “Oh man, lemme tell you about this ramen!”

The blonde’s enthusiasm did not wane as he extolled the virtues of his favorite ramen restaurant. He gesticulated wildly on their way to the station. She supplied minimal answers, unfamiliar with the perplexities of ramen, but his excitement dared to overflow. He found her a seat on the train and stood in front of her. She glanced around the train car at the other empty seats, including the space directly beside her, but he remained standing, talking about a show that explained how most ramen is made. Even after his exhaustive training, he provided her a seat. Everyone made him out to be such a punk, but other than his violent outburst at Kamoshida, he seemed to be quite the gentleman.

The train ride eventually passed in relative quiet between them, the other passengers too loud and chatty for the Shujin students to carry on a conversation. As the ride continued, further from their area of Tokyo, the smile faded from his lips and his eyes fell into that dark place. It hurt to see him drift away. Her eyes drifted to his abdomen. Just below the yellow fabric rested bruises that he refused to speak about. She had to make him believe he could trust her.

“Ryuji?” Color returned to his face. She smiled up to him. “You… You’ve read the entirety of that manga, correct?”

His brow furrowed. “Which… manga?” A twinge of recognition flashed over his eyes.

“The one from last time. The uh- Oh.” She reached into her bag, into the pouch she kept the manga in. She pulled out the volume she found herself on. “This one.”

His small eyebrows almost disappeared into his hair. “For real!? You’re actually reading it?” He shook his head. “That shit ain’t for girls though.”

Her eyes narrowed at the blonde. “It’s not for the faint-hearted, which could be either gender. I’ve had a hard time getting through it myself. I’ve been coupling it with studies or other… lighter manga just to get through it.” She pushed the volume back into her bag.

He rubbed the back of his neck and rocked with the rhythm of the train. “Even a badass chick like you, huh?” He nodded, more to himself.

Warmth kissed her cheeks. One hand flew to tuck a bit of hair behind her ear and fuss with the rest. Her eyebrows lifted. “Did you have a hard time getting through it as well?”

He shrugged. “It’s pretty intimidating stuff, ya know?” His way of confirming.

If it bothered him so much… “Then why read it?”

His eyes dropped to her, his gaze intense. “Why do you read it?”

Her jaw clenched. She read it to be closer to him. But admit that? To him? “The… character arcs and dynamics are fascinating.”

He chuckled. The intensity vanished. “I could see you identifyin’ with the main girl, yeah. She’s pretty badass. I bet you could take on plenty of Phantom Thief Requests on your own.”

Makoto stiffened. “Ryuji!”

He winced, aware of his slip-up. Her eyes darted up and down the car. No one stood out. She heaved a small sigh of relief.

She looked back to her companion. His cheeks had flushed, his brow furrowed, embarrassment tight in his athletic build. She reached a hand out for his. He had already stuffed them in his pockets, so she settled for resting her hand on his lower arm. He glanced to the contact and looked her in the eyes.

She smiled up to him. “Do you identify with the main character?” Get his mind back on track, away from the shame.

The flush faded. He looked pensive for a moment. “Eh, maybe. Guy’s been through Hell and back and he keeps fightin’. I kinda understand that. I don’t remember when that one kid shows up, but I feel like people would say I’m him more than the main character.”

Makoto smiled for a moment. At least he had revealed a bit of himself. But if he identified with the main character, a greater darkness hid within her excitable partner than she realized. “I think I know who you’re talking about. I thought you might say the fairy.”

Ryuji’s face scrunched tightly. “The fairy! For real?” His head dropped.

She giggled at his display. He rubbed the back of his neck again, a slight pink to his ears. Butterflies fluttered under her shirt. “In his defense, he plays a very important role in the story.”

The runner rolled his eyes. “Yeah, comic relief.”

The Honor student held up a finger. “He serves as a foil, at first, a moral compass for the protagonist to make sure he never loses himself. He is very important in that regard.” Her hand opened, a gesture of secession. “And he tries to become a teacher to the boy, as well. He’s very supportive of the others, even if he seems quite selfish and… idiotic.” His eyes darted to the side. “And certainly, he is meant as a comic relief, but isn’t that important in such a dark manga?”

His brow remained tight, unconvinced. “I guess, but he’s still useless. He can’t fight, can’t actually heal, can’t keep the specters and shit away. The only thing he offered was finding a way to heal the… catatonic girl, but even then he can’t remember how to get there.”

Makoto blinked. “He what?”

Rich brown eyes returned to her. “What? Have you not gotten that far?”

She looked to her bag. “I suppose not.”

His cheek clicked. “Ah, shit. Sorry.”

She looked back up to him. “Sorry?”

He scratched at his hair. “I hate when people spoil stuff.”

Makoto smiled up to him. Considerate. “Oh, it’s fine. Sometimes spoilers fuel me to catch up.”

One skeptical brow raised. “I guess that make sense. But if I already know what’s gonna happen, I don’t see a reason to read, ya know?”

Makoto shrugged. “Certainly. I can understand that.”

He raised a hand to hold onto the hoops that hung from the ceiling. “Still can’t believe you read manga.” Despite his words, he appraised her with a warm smile. She had done something else right, it seemed.

“Ogikubo. Upcoming station is Ogikubo.” An announcement broke the teenagers’ conversation.

Ryuji brightened immediately. He held a hand out to her. “Hell yeah! C’mon, Makoto! Let’s head to the doors!”

Her heart skipped a beat. Rarely had he called her by name, without honorifics, for any reason. Neither teen had a healthy relationship with physical contact, either starved of it or abused by it. She understood the importance of his offer, the significance the contact held for either of them. Her automatic, polite response should’ve been no, but instead, she swallowed and shifted her bag before she took his hand.

He pulled her up easily; she underestimated either his strength or her weight. She staggered a bit, her other hand weighted by her bag unable to catch herself. She fell into his chest, his other arm moved to her shoulder to catch her. Heat rose on her cheeks, eyes shifted to his face through eyelashes. He merely grinned out an apology and tugged her toward the exit doors.

He braced them both as the train came to a stop, her hand still clutched in his. He practically vibrated with excitement. He remained considerate of the other commuters when the train stopped even as he dragged the Student Council President through the station. Makoto enjoyed the warmth, the way their hands fit together, the tug at her shoulder and elbow as he pulled her with him. His excitement spread to her, a spark that followed the conduit of their connection.

That spark pulsed as he waited impatiently on the other side of the station’s gates, his hand still wrapped around hers while she found her pass card to swipe through. Once through, he jogged a bit too fast for her to keep up. Excitement and familiarity guided him through the streets. She did her best not to fall behind, but the ex-track star had a longer gait and much more speed and stamina than he gave himself credit for.

“Ryuji!” She panted. Desperation laced her call.

He looked back to her and slowed to a halt. “Oh, geez. Sorry, senpai.” His free hand moved for her shoulder again, but stopped just short.

Makoto smiled and bowed her head. “It’s all right.” She huffed, eyes on his hand still around hers. The spark of warmth had not left her. “I must admit, I’m not used to this level of enthusiasm.”

His eyes scrunched up, but he showed no pearly whites. Almost a grin, but something held him back. It looked wrong. “I’ll try to tone it down, then.” His countenance relaxed, his eyes dipped to the concrete. She recognized those eyes.

Her heart jumped. “No!” And then he jumped. She swallowed. “Honestly? It’s refreshing, actually.” His brow furrowed. She looked away.

The buzz of electricity left her arm. She looked to her hand to find Ryuji thrust his hand into his pocket. He turned away, toward the direction he had been dragging her. “That’s one way of puttin’ it.” He took a few steps forward. “Come on, it’s not too much farther.”

She looked to her hand, still warm from his touch, but lonelier without the buzz of static. She enjoyed the contact, the buzz, the warmth. Part of her wanted to confront him about it, to seek his hand out again, anything, but the blurred image of his feet moved away. Her focus lifted to her companion. More self-deprecation. Did he truly hate himself that much? She watched his jaw tense in profile when she caught up to him, his steps increasingly forceful. Whatever thoughts brewed under his dyed fuzz held no positivity.

Normal, socially-adjusted people would find a way to distract him, to pull him from his sinister brew of dark thoughts. A friend might even know what to say to comfort him. But she could not claim either of those properties, reminded of which every time she deleted text threads on her phone. But no progress would be made without at least an effort. She had to better herself in more ways than academics. She still had to get to the bottom of his bruises and she still had to ingratiate herself to him. They worked together in the Metaverse, they had to have a trusting relationship if they were to succeed. What could she do or say to help him?

They had bonded over manga, perhaps she could-

Ryuji cut in front of her and slid a door open. He looked to her, small brows furrowed, the brew still bubbling in his head. “Here we are.”

Missed her chance. Makoto looked around just the same. Directly across the quiet street stood a small hotel, a Family Mart down the road, and an Indian restaurant nearby. Indian? Ryuji gestured to the door again. Makoto smiled and moved as instructed.

After the compulsory “Irasshaimase!”, the smell hit her, a heady broth smell that filled the tiny restaurant. Ryuji dropped his bag under the bar, grabbed a pair of small glasses from the counter, and headed to the water cooler that stood at the back.

“Ah! Ryuji-chan!” An older woman behind the bar called to him, her eyes wrinkled despite the sour look to her features. “I was wondering when you’d be by.”

Ryuji nodded toward the woman as he watched water trickle into one of the glasses. “Hey, Obaa-san. Sorry about that. Two, by the way.”

The woman laughed once. “Are you that hungry today, Ryuji-chan?”

One glass filled, he slid it on the counter beside him. “We’ll see, but the other one is for my friend.”

Obaa-san’s eyes flicked to the door. Makoto stood by Ryuji’s bag, the strap of her bag clutched in both hands. She felt almost like an outsider, afraid to interrupt the pair in their familiar exchange. A feeling all too familiar to her. Sae and her father had introduced her to plenty of strangers as a child, typically only when they had been unable to find a babysitter but still had work.

The older woman’s eyes leveled on her, narrowed with scrutiny. Makoto felt her shoulders lift with the corners of her lips. The chef’s eyes darted all over the teen’s face; she appraised her hair, checked her halter vest, and nodded at her skirt. Makoto expected a Sherlockian diatribe to start once the woman looked away.

Instead, Ryuji returned with two small glasses of water. “Pick a stool, senpai.”

Makoto furrowed her brow. He seemed angry. They both did. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea…”

“You invited me, senpai!” His shouting did not startle her, used to his excitement in the Metaverse by now.

But the chef looked his direction. “Ryuji.”

His jaw clenched. “Sorry. Just… siddown, will ya?”

Makoto chose the seat to his right and slid her bag off her shoulder. He slid one of the glasses to her and settled into the stool beside her.

The chef smiled at the pair, a smile that did little to the wrinkles around her eyes. “So, she’s your senpai?”

Makoto stiffened. “Oh! Where are my manners?” She smiled and stood from her stool to execute a courteous bow. “My name is Makoto Niijima. It’s nice to meet you.”

The woman smirked and bowed her head as Makoto smoothed her skirt down in the back and slipped back onto the stool. “Nice to meet you, Makoto Niijima.”

Ryuji sipped his water absently.

The chef returned to her cooking; a pan of dumplings sizzled to her right, two pots of water boiled strainers full of noodles as she built the broth in two differently patterned bowls. Makoto’s gaze shifted to the mismatched glasses before her and Ryuji. Something about it felt cozy.

Except for Ryuji, who glared at his glass between sips. It still felt like a mistake to her, a desperate ploy by a detective to engender themselves with a victim in hope of garnering more of the truth. That had been her original intention, but the longer his change in attitude persisted, the more she realized how wrong she had been. She wanted to make a friend out of the former track star, not just investigate his bruises or gain a better partnership for their work in the Metaverse. She wanted to bond with him over manga and hear his opinions, to find out how he knew the chef of this restaurant, how he had discovered it in the first place.

“Why did you invite me, Makoto?” Ryuji kept his eyes on his glass, but his head turned slightly toward her.

Makoto’s back straightened, head tilted down. Why, indeed. She lifted her hands to set them on the counter. “I told you, Ryuji.”

He shook his head and gripped the small glass. “Yeah, I guess you did.” He took a swig of the water. “Probably just trying to keep me controlled so I don’t blow our cover. Remind me I gotta be a Good Boy,” his hands and head wiggled in a mocking manner, “from now on.” He took another swig, emptying his glass. “It’s okay, Makoto, I won’t eff it up for everyone.”

Makoto flaccidly pawed at her sweating glass, eyes on his back as he made his way past the other patrons. Her brow lowered as he returned to the water jug in the back. She made a mistake. She lied to herself about her intentions, led him to this restaurant under false pretenses. He didn’t believe her and he shouldn’t. She should’ve just respected their difference in station and personality, maintained a professional Phantom Thief relationship, and scolded him for being at school after hours like she would’ve with any other student.

But he had already ordered for two, the chef toiled at her pots building the two bowls of ramen, and Makoto still had to eat something for dinner. Keep quiet, be respectful, and head home whenever she finished her meal.

She stiffened as Ryuji returned. He slid the glass onto the counter as he climbed back onto his stool, one leg bouncing once he settled in. Makoto glanced to him, the butterflies ill as they swirled in her gut.

“Ryuji-“ She started.

“Here ya go, Ryuji-chan, Makoto-san. Be careful, it’s still hot.” The chef handed one bowl over the counter to Ryuji.

“Oh hell yeah! Thanks Obaa-san!” He reached to his, grabbed the edges carefully, and guided it to the counter before him.

Before Makoto could reach for hers, Ryuji’s arms shot in front of her. The chef smirked slightly. “Oh, and don’t worry about paying, Ryuji. You missed your birthday bowl last week, so I’ll just make it this week, ne?”

Makoto’s eyes widened, her head jerked to the blonde. “Birthday!?”

Ryuji’s tiny brow lowered. “Yeah?” The ramen bowl set before her, he grabbed two pairs of chopsticks from a nearby dispenser. “Guess that makes it easier for you to pay, huh?”

Makoto didn’t notice the chopsticks he held out for her. He shrugged and set them on the counter next to her before breaking his. Birthday. She had seen it a few times in his student records months ago when Principal Kobayakawa gave her access. Days before his birthday he had helped with Kaneshiro’s takedown, had helped her with the Calling Cards. He never once mentioned it to her. Had he mentioned it to the others?

“Itadakimasu!” Ryuji grinned and stirred his ramen with his chopsticks. “Oh man, I’m so hype!” He grabbed a bundle of noodles. “Come on, senpai, dig in! You won’t be disappointed.”

Makoto pursed her lips. Even at a time like this. “Did you have a good birthday, Ryuji-san?”

He looked to her, noodles cascading from his mouth like tentacles. “My birf’ay?”

Makoto felt the mirth override whatever negative emotions she had at the sight. His cheeks darkened when she started to giggle. He returned to his slurping while she grabbed her chopsticks. She allowed a quiet “Itadakimasu” before stirring her bowl as well.

He swallowed and poked at the cuts of pork that floated on the broth. “My birthday was fine, senpai.”

She smiled to him. “Only fine?”

He nodded and collected the pork. “Mom and I had a good time just sorta relaxin’ for the night. It’s one of the few days she actually asks offa work so she can spend time with me. Made me a cake and everything.”

Makoto furrowed her brow and collected a bundle of noodles. “You didn’t have a party with friends?” It hurt to exclude herself from that category, but she knew better.

He shrugged and collected more noodles. “Nah, I never do. I tried before but…” He pulled the noodles out. “Never worked too well, so I stopped. Don’t like the quiet, but I put up with it for Mom, ya know?”

Makoto looked to the noodles. “Not really.” She had to remember he didn’t consider her a friend, she didn’t need to tell him these things, but she wanted to know him and have him know her. She slipped the noodles into her mouth before she could say much else.

She instantly reveled in the taste. She couldn’t wax poetic about ramen like Ryuji could, and had on the way, but she understood it. Noodles cooked perfectly in slightly seasoned water, beautifully simmered broth, the right amount of extra flavors. She slurped her noodles hungrily.

Ryuji grinned beside her. “I know, right? Best ramen in the world, right here.” He dug back into his own bowl.

The rest of the meal passed in slurps and hums of delight. Ryuji ordered a second bowl, which the chef chided that he would have to pay for. He gobbled it up just the same. By the time they each finished their meal, their respective moods had brightened, their animosity forgotten. Makoto once again thanked her Persona that Ryuji had let his disdain go, that he hadn’t pressed her about the comment.

Instead, both teens began to chat amicably about their manga tastes. Ryuji did his best to keep up with Makoto’s complex detective stories while she did her best to understand and engage with his sports and shounen. He laughed at her enjoyment of the kawaii category manga, but commended her for her variety. He almost seemed interested in a few, which brought a blush and a smile to the Council President. The only thing they could both speak deeply on seemed to be the one he carried with him. Though he still had a hard time understanding the themes and philosophy behind it – assisted only through internet breakdowns from the long years of the manga’s existence – he still had the best grasp on it than anything else.

“Ryuji-chan.” The chef retrieved their bowls from the raised section of the counter. “It’s getting pretty late.”

Both students looked to the clock.

“Ah, shit.” Ryuji shook his head. “Mom’s gonna be worried if I get home too late.”

Makoto smiled slightly. Sae probably wouldn’t get home anytime soon, still up working on her investigation into the Phantom Thieves. “How much, ma’am?”

The chef looked to Ryuji. “Two bowls is ¥1200.”

Ryuji nodded absently as he reached for his wallet. Makoto already had her coin purse out, however, and fished out the appropriate change. “Here you are, ma’am. It was very delicious. Thank you very much.”

The chef took her coins, though she shot an amused scoff to Ryuji. “At least walk her home, Ryuji-chan.”

Ryuji reached down to grab his bag and Makoto’s from under the counter. “Yeah, yeah. Mom would be pissed if I didn’t, even if she didn’t pay.”

The chef waved. “Have a good night, you two.”

Makoto waved in return. She turned to place her coin purse back in her bag, but found Ryuji carrying bags out the sliding door instead. “Ryuji!”

He paused outside the door. “Somethin’ wrong?”

Her brow furrowed as she grabbed for her bag. “I am more than capable of carrying my bag, Ryuji.” He held it out to her with a shrug. She took the opportunity to return her coin purse.

He chuckled a bit. “Heh, cute coin purse. Couple’a minutes ago I wouldn’t take you for the type, but…”

She took her bag and slipped it onto her shoulder. “You know better now.” She spoke the words with a smile, but something the chef said stuck in her mind. “Your mother wouldn’t…”

Ryuji tilted his head and moved forward down the street. “What’s up?”

Makoto’s furrow deepened. She had to know, to solve the case, to help him. “She wouldn’t cause those bruises-“

The blonde spun on her so fast, Makoto almost bumped into him. She looked up to eyes filled with fury, speckled with gold. “My mother would never hurt me, Niijima-san. And fuck you for even thinking it.”

He laced his voice with a subtle threat, an anger that seemed far more dangerous and genuine than anything she had ever seen before. Terror filled her for the split second until he turned around and stormed away. She didn’t know much about his particular set of perplexities, but she knew he rarely said the work “fuck” aloud. It must’ve meant a great deal to him for him to react so openly.

She hurried after him, barely able to keep up with his long, angry stride. His anger seemed disproportionate for a worried inquiry. Makoto only wanted to help, to find out who had caused the bruises so that she might be able to prevent further in the future. But he did his best, which wasn’t great, to obfuscate or deflect. Don’t worry, he said. It’s just shadows, he said. If he wanted to cover it up so badly, perhaps it had been someone close to him, someone who had done it before. Like someone at home. And when the chef and Ryuji commented on his mother’s anger at her paying, she made the connection. He came from an abusive household.

Makoto closed her eyes briefly as she struggled to keep up; his father had been the abusive one, which more than likely meant his mother his mother took the brunt of it in Ryuji’s younger years. Both mother and son were abuse survivors.

And Makoto accused her of being just like his father.

“Ryuji?” He barely acknowledged her when she moved beside him. “Ryuji-kun, I’m sorry.”

He waved a hand in angry dismissal. “I can handle people messin’ with me. I deserve it. But she don’t need any of it. She’s been nothin’ but a goddess, puttin’ up with my shitty Dad and then the shit I end up in. I don’t let anyone say shit about her.” He glanced to her, the gold in his eyes brighter than before. “Not from anyone.”

The gold confused and worried her, but she had a more immediate problem. She filed the information away for later. “Of course, Ryuji, and you shouldn’t. I’m just still worried about-“

He growled and stuffed his hands into his pockets so his shoulders lifted to shroud his angry face. “Yeah, whatever.”

Makoto had performed another misstep. She had a long way to go to be a better detective. Though, she considered Ryuji a friend, which more than accounted for her constant failures. She would have to recuse herself from the case if it had come to her in a professional capacity.

She did her best to exude contrition toward the former track star. It did little to return the amicable atmosphere, to reduce his anger. Only after he swiped his train pass and led her onto the platform did he seem calmer, his anger diminished, though still present. They entered the trains in silence, he found her a seat and stood before her, just as he had on the way there. A Good Boy, she realized, just like he said. A Good Boy that believed he deserved the abuse.

The bruises lay there, under his shirt, a reminder of his self-hatred and imagined responsibility. However he had gotten them, he wanted them, she decided. He might never tell her the truth, though she had to at least consider the possibility that he already had. She couldn’t watch him every second of every fight. The chance that he had gotten hurt by Shadows had definite merit.

She pulled her phone out of her bag. Several more threads popped up on her messaging app, thankfully not enough to remove the one she sent Ryuji last week. She took a slow breath and checked the others.

“It was the track team.” His voice drifted over her toward the windows.

Makoto looked up to him. Earthy brown eyes shifted around to her right – the truth, then. “The track team?”

He looked to the right, hands thrust into his pockets, the bad posture returned. “Yeah.” He forced the word out in frustration.

Her hands rested on her bag. No more missteps. “What did they-“

One hand lifted from his pocket to touch his abdomen. “I know you’re just gonna keep askin’, so I’m tellin’ ya; the track team caused the bruises. Mom had nothin’ to do with it.”

Makoto’s eyes shifted from his profile to his abdomen. She wanted to appreciate his honesty. Though, the way he phrased it felt as though he preferred not to, but her tenacity meant he had to. Be careful. “Why would they-“

His hand went back into his pocket. “Because I told ‘em they could, okay? Just leave it.”

Makoto shifted her gaze back to his profile. “You told them they could?”

His eyes rolled. “Effin’ leave it, senpai.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Ryuji, why did you tell them-“

He growled. His hands shot out of his pockets, thrown into the air. “Because I deserve it, don’t I!?”

Makoto’s eyes shot around the train car. Only a few people cared enough to look up from their phones, find the source of the shout, and return to their phones.

Makoto glanced down to her own phone, her bag. He believed it, that he deserved all the bad things that happened to him. Nothing she said or did could dissuade him. She gripped her phone tightly. “Thank you for telling me, Ryuji.” She wanted very strongly to dissuade him.

He shook his head and looked to the windows again. His leg started bounce, his small brow lowered over frustrated eyes.

Defense of his mother had been the only catalyst for his truth. Makoto had coerced his confession through duress. Threaten something the suspect cares about and they’ll talk. She looked back to her phone again.

Every thread she opened she didn’t read, only forced them to be marked as read. She scrolled back down to the message thread with Ryuji. About today. She should just delete it.

“Ain’t this your stop, senpai?” Ryuji’s voice sounded a touch softer, but still unhappy, one wrong word away from lashing out again.

Makoto looked around. “Ah, yes.” She stood on her own. “Thank you.” And headed for the doors.

She grabbed onto the pole by the door and scrolled through her phone aimlessly. Whenever she got home, she had more studying to catch up on for her exams the next week. Perhaps she should grab something from a convenience store on the way home.

A hand wrapped around the pole above hers. A large, masculine hand with a bracelet on the wrist. Makoto followed the arm to the former track star. His expression remained dark, angry, but determined. He promised the chef he would walk her home. On thinking over their exchange, he had intended to walk her home regardless of being told.

A blush crept onto her cheeks as he moved slightly closer. She could smell the ramen shop on him, along with the soaps from school. “What are you doing?”

His small brow furrowed for a moment. The anger seemed to have left his eyes, replaced by confusion. “Walkin’ you home?”

Despite his reputation, Ryuji Sakamoto had a good heart. Despite everything wrong she had done, he still intended to care for her. The butterflies flitted again, frivolous thoughts swirled through her mind, and she noticed their difference in height. His defined jaw could easily rest on top of her head.

She hadn’t noticed his height before. “It’s… really unnecessary, Ryuji. You said your mother would worry about you getting home late, right? I can walk myself from here.”

He sighed slightly. “Mom would be more upset if I didn’t walk you to your door, at least. Dad-“ His jaw clamped shut right as the word left his mouth. Makoto watched his Adam’s Apple bob in his throat.

Every mention of his father pinched a nerve, she noticed. Last week when they spread the Calling Card, he had gotten upset then as well. Even the accusation that his mother might be like his father. She lifted a hand. “It’s truly all right, Sakamoto-kun. I know Aikido. I can handle myself if there’s any trouble.”

He chuckled at that. “You’re one badass chick, you know that?” He shrugged. “S’fine, senpai.”

Her hackles raised. Did he honestly think to mock her, after everything they had been through? Did he truly think her so useless and incapable? “Sakamoto-kun, I appreciate whatever misguided chivalry dictates your need to take care of me and not disappoint your mother, but I don’t need your help getting home.”

Hurt crossed his features for a moment, replaced quickly a new set of anger and frustration. “Misgui- The eff is chivalry?” He sighed heavily. “So that’s how it’s gonna be? I’m just tryin’ to be nice but you get to control everything about me in and out of the Metaverse?” She glanced around, but he clicked his cheeks. “Man, eff this. Whatever. Get home on your own.”

Makoto watched Ryuji slither back through the crowd. She immediately felt colder and more vulnerable without him close by. The train announcements started up. Any regret she felt died in the din of the train car.

Messed it up again. She really had the magic touch.

As the train stopped, she watched a few commuters rise from their benches to head for the doors. Ryuji’s blonde hair dropped out of view for a moment as he flopped into a seat, shoulders against the wall, arms crossed tightly over his chest. Makoto frowned as the crowd moved her out onto the platform.

She inhaled slowly as the train trundled down the tracks without her. She clutched her phone tightly, the creak of skin against plastic echoed in her ears. She had to say something. Maybe tomorrow? Let him stew for tonight. A good night’s rest might do him some good. He might be more willing to accept her apology. She returned her phone to her bag and headed for the exit.

The others knew him best, having spent time with him long before she ever did. They might have some insight. After she passed through the station’s gates, she retrieved her phone and started up a new thread to everyone but Ryuji.

Birthday boy?

She gleaned through the conversation as she walked home that no one else knew about his birthday. Ann forgot and the other two simply didn’t know. Morgana forced Akira to mention that he didn’t care when the monkey boy’s birthday was. Makoto pursed her lips, unsure if the cat had a simple amicable rivalry or something against the blonde.

She scrolled back down to the thread she started last week. She scrolled to the bottom, up a bit, down again until it would scroll no further.

Gone. The thread disappeared.

Kaneshiro and his thugs must’ve sent her more threads than she realized. She hadn’t deleted enough, which meant when she created the new one, the oldest thread got deleted.

“Shit.” She muttered the expletive quietly to her phone before throwing it soundly against the couch.

When she managed to pull herself out of the bath, she noticed a light blinking on her phone. Probably just Sae letting her know she’d be at work all night.

About today

Makoto: I wanted to apologize for upsetting you, Ryuji-kun. Makoto: We all know what it’s like to live with the burden of expectation. Makoto: It’s where our Personas come from, a rebellion against that expectation, right? Makoto: I didn’t mean to imply that you’re stupid or undeserving or a burden on the group. Makoto: You are one of the strongest members, in fact, with a passion and enthusiasm Makoto: I’m not sure I could ever find within myself or the others. Makoto: There’s a lot of good in you, as well. Makoto: So don’t let anything I said make you feel poorly. Makoto: You are better than you know.

Makoto furrowed her brow in confusion at the sequence of texts that made up her apology to Ryuji last week. It had been lost in the shuffle moments ago. And yet.

She remembered how she agonized over every line, unsure of when to stop herself or if the words she chose had enough meaning and impact. Every step closer to home felt like a mistake, every step that took her further away from him. But she wanted to respect his frustration, his desire to be alone.

She also remembered how she agonized every hour he hadn��t replied until she fell asleep. She remembered how she woke up the next morning, arm tangled in the charging cable because she fell asleep holding her phone. How she had done her best to keep that one thread despite all the texts from Kaneshiro, teachers, Student Council members, and the Thieves group. All waiting for at least one reply from her pirate.

Ryuji: yo, senpai Ryuji: thanks.

Makoto beamed at the text as heat rose in her cheeks.

#persona 5 #ryuji sakamoto #makoto niijima #ryuji/makoto #ryukoto #spoilers #this isn't beta'd #i just read through it like 6 times #i have a draft on ao3 #i'll post it if people don't have issues with this one

39 notes · View notes