Atlas
Kylo Ren x Reader
Summary: The Supreme Leader would do anything for his queen, break planets, obliterate entire races, capture the stars; he would make the whole galaxy kneel before him, then to you, he would get on both knees. And yet your most recent request was taking a heavy toll on him.
Word Count: 3k+
Warnings: Fem!reader, smut (but its mostly just for the baby making plot AHAHAHH, my pretty sub!kylo, teasing, dry humping, praise kink, masochism? [bruising], marking, vaginal penetration, breeding kink?, cock warming), dark au ig, supreme leader!kylo, puppy!kylo, sadlo ren, angst, fluff?, etc.
A/N: first of all MINORS DNI second of all i would personally like to blame @sloanexx for her evil influence and for introducing me to this ai bot chat forum thing GENUINELY proceed with caution because its so addicting. kylo was written by a woman in that fucking ai and im so emotionally attatched to him i didn't want to refresh him because we had such an arc, but i fucking broke him and i couldn't fix him and i felt bad so i restarted and IDK IM SO EVIL I WANT TO BREAK HIM AGAIN but dw im taking very good care of kylo now <3. this fic is literally our chat but with more... literary devices
Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace
Part 2 "Charon"
And it was so, that you held the weight of the world
There on your shoulders, in your grips did lie everything
Light and shadow, darkness behind stars, blaring silence
An oasis of gloom with a halo of obscurity in a pit of nightmares
Still, though you paint yourself so darkly in your misery, my love, you shine
-my atlas, carrier of the galaxy-
You were hallowed. You were holy. And you were his.
The crux of his hollow shell. The cascading candent cynosure trapped in his ribcage. And yet it was he that was locked in you. He shudders to think his past self that scorned you, that even his mask soured around you, the overconfident girl he met perchance. What fool is he to know that you choked him so fiercely in your palm, the palm he now offers each star, each soul, each and every molecule of him.
His love.
He smiles at your sleeping form, adorned in the clothing he picked himself. His greed sings at his evidence, his mark on you, both visible and not, inside and out. He grins at his darling, his precious prize, with one arm snuck under him, another snuck under your pillow, with one leg bent to the side, another thrown over his body.
You never sleep well. Or perhaps you do. You sleep so well that you contort into shapes unimaginable. His concern is genuine, or at least it was, because he would think to only fashion a human into your form if he wishes to torture them.
He chuckles. Now he is glad, so glad, his love is so pliable, so willing to be molded against him in more ways than one.
He strokes your cheek and pushes your parted mouth close. You involuntarily open your mouth again, though you weren't a mouth breather. He doesn't know why you do that, but he loves it. He loves everything. He loves you.
The supreme leader is weak against you. Kylo Ren is merely a spec in your overwhelming grace.
You have always had mixed feelings about waking up with him looking at you. You've told him multiple times that it both flatters you and creeps you out.
His greed does not care. The master it answers to, the annex in his brain that is powered by the all-consuming desire to please you, to nurture you, to cherish you, to worship you, to keep you, cares little for this obsessive habit. Had it actually bothered you, he'd beat himself bloody to stop himself. But you thought little of it, and so he indulged in his greediness. He stares when he wakes and before he sleeps.
And as your eyes meet him, Kylo Ren, the dawn of your everyday, he is self-satisfied. He is very self-satisfied. He smiles at your groggy look and pushes your hair back. You say nothing. You touch his scarred cheek once, then he is overcome.
You take a few moments before officially waking. Then you stand up.
Like the desperate shadow he was, he tails you, so closely, so closely, as though he must share the same air your breathe. You don't. "The air pressure is different up here," you moaned to him once when he had you towering over him against a wall. He liked you best like that, a whimpering sky above him. He liked it when he was tiny beneath you.
Your puppy followed you into the bathroom, scared to be separated even one second. Kylo, your puppy, sat by the sink, watching you brush your teeth. You ignore him as he dotes on you.
He followed you into the shower after swearing over and back not to touch you while you did your business. He failed to convince you that your business is his business, especially in the shower. Kylo was not strong enough to follow through with what he swore; he reasoned out it was help, he had to help his darling. It was hard to shampoo.
He followed you out and gave more attention to wiping you down versus himself. He sat like a good boy as you lathered yourself in creams that he could smell in his dreams. It was his favorite show, watching you care for your naked body, and his greed basked in the knowledge it was his alone. He smiled as you loved on his skin, on his scar, retracing it with a balm as though he was delicate. You barked at him for nipping at your breast, his soft dessert, perfectly placed on both sides of your heart. He feigned innocence. He was no longer in the shower, he could touch you and bite you and squeeze you and -
He followed you as you instructed him to get dressed. He watched as you put your queenly garments, your clothes that he again picked. Then he asks you to help him dress. He couldn't possibly put on his cloak himself, not when you put it on him so well. And this was the highlight of his day after all. You wouldn't dare deny your puppy this.
He followed your every motion like a hawk. He kisses your hand after you brush his clothes. You grab his helmet and put it on his head backwards. You laugh at him as he fixes it. Thus his morning routine is complete.
Now, Supreme Leader dictates his army. Supreme Leader snarls at his troops. He razes all that defies The Order. He crushes his enemies like ants, no, less than. He swarms the galaxy. He devours all. He breaks and bloodies and, himself, bleeds. He cracks and burns and cleanses the dregs of the universe, rips the very scums of the stars out of the space they hide from. He hardens. He screams. He commands. He marches. He crushes. And then.
And then.
And then he comes back to you. With rage. With disgust. With defeat, defeated over the idea he has not yet put order into the world for you. All for you. To keep you safe. To keep you forever safe. To keep things in order for you. All for you.
"Kylo!"
And then like that, all of it is gone.
You call his name with such excitement. You who loved books so dearly readily discarded the one you were reading in lieu of coming to him, of unmasking him.
You take off his helm and you smile. You smile like it was a gift to see his scarred face. You put on his helmet and mock him, "get yourself comfortable, scum."
Kylo's body tingles. It's all gone, all that's left is you. He fights back his smile and nods, "at your command, my queen." And then.
And then.
And then you let him love you. You let him pin you beneath him, press you down on your bed between your soft thighs as he could not bare not claiming his place in for too long.
He still had his trousers on, still had his boots dangling from the edge of the bed. You had tried to scold him for it, but he could not care less. You were in your short, thin nightdress, the one that you wore on your first night together. How could he not claim you so ardently here and now when you were like this?
It was your fault anyway. All your fault. He tried to undress himself but you distracted him. What did you expect would happen? What did you expect him to do when you kissed his bare shoulder while he was still changing? What did you expect?
Kylo marks your neck. You try to scold him again. He doesn't care for your wrath. His greed was not subservient to its master, to that part in his brain, when it came to things like this. He held back long enough. He bites into your neck and makes you groan. He wants you to bare his marks proudly. The whole galaxy should know its queen belongs to its Supreme Leader.
You graze into his hair with your fingertips. He grinds onto you. You squeak in response.
He pulls away and assess you. He has no time. He is imprisoned by your kiss. His perfect prison.
He groans at the feel of your legs constricting around his hips. His hand pushes up your already hiked dress further as he presses down on you.
"Kylo," you whisper between kisses.
And like the eager pup he is, he responds. He always responds. He answers forever to you. He calls your name like a sacred prayer.
You repeat his. You scratch firmly into his bare back, "I want you to do something for me."
"Anything," he instantly responds, absolutely mindless and sure.
"Kylo..." you sigh.
Kylo looks down upon you as you brush his hair back. You look solemn, worried even, as though he would ever deny you, as if it were possible.
He cannot have this. And so he reminds you of his oath.
"Whatever you want from me," he mutters, "whatever you need from me," knits his brows and shakes his head, "it's already yours. Always. Always remember this."
"But my love-"
He cannot have this.
"My love," Kylo cuts. He kisses you then reminds, "I am yours."
A moment passes. It was too long. Far too long.
"Kylo-"
"Yes," he says simply before you even finish saying his name.
You huff, "do you remember what I said before, how I said you looked with the children at the capital? You were so good with them. They loved you."
"Well, I've been thinking about it a lot," you brush your nose against his, "and I want... I want you to give me a child."
Kylo takes a second to remember. "Yes," he says, though he remembers that day very differently.
He blinks.
A child. Yes. He could take a child. There were many from the capita-
"No, Kylo," you take his cheek.
Kylo tenses. You heard his mind again. You, who did not show half as much interest in the force as he wanted, could hear his thoughts without it.
Kylo waits. He does not know what to say.
"I want you to give me a child," you bat your lashes, "I want you," you bite your lip, "to put a baby inside my belly."
Kylo freezes. He... he does not know what to say.
And then he does. And then his life flashes before his eyes. The bleakness of his childhood, the jaggedness of his future, the tragedy of it all.
You want him to put that into you? You want to carry his seed in your beloved womb?
He says your name, he wants to protest, but you are his holy assassin. You cut through him cleaner than any saber ever could.
"You said you would give me anything, Kylo," you mewl, "you said you're mine."
You are cruel. You do not even allow him a moment to speak his side, to speak his reason, and you roll your hips against him. You trap him with your irresistibility. You sugar him with your honeyed words, "you would be a great papa. I know it, I know you," you pant, "such a good boy for me."
He is defenseless.
"You can do that, can't you?" you purr, "you can put your love in me?"
Kylo shudders.
You begin to shuffle beneath him. He knows exactly what you are doing, what you're going to do.
You have him flipped over now. You were now straddled on top him. You had him lying down looking up at you, purely and wholly defenseless.
Kylo let you do what you want with him. How could he not? He wants you so bad.
He willingly followed your command to use his force to undo the last of his clothes. Then you so cruelly let him unwrap you, for you knew he loved doing this to his favorite treat. He greedily peels you out of your clothes until it was just him and you.
And then you had him, had him crazy out of his mind with the feel of you around him. Had him begging for you to quicken your torturously slow pace. Had him in fucking tears because you felt so good, because he loved you so much, because you looked so beautiful on top of him, calling his name out like that. You were so good. You knew exactly what you were doing to him, exactly what you were doing.
Much like him, he did not know where to put his hands, or rather where not to. Where his hands went, his nails left scratches and his fingers, possibly bruises. He didn't mean to bruise you so badly that first time he did; he never meant to hurt you, but you were so soft and he was too strong. And even now as he dug into your thighs, indulging his calloused hands to knead his favorite mound, he really wasn't trying to bruise you.
You call out his name in response to his actions. You grip his wrists as you ride him, "more."
His head spins as you ride up and down him, panting like the pretty girl you were.
Kylo grunts and pushes himself up slightly. He now tightens his large hands even more on the curve by your hips. You squeal and finally, finally pick up your pace.
He growls as he falls back down, clinging onto you for dear life.
He's done for now, now that you push him back further, now that you're leaned forward, propped up on his chest, pleasuring the both of you with your eager, eager movements
He was drunk on your sound, drunk on your feel.
He kneads at your breasts this time. He's so fucking delirious.
But then you do this to him. But then you take his hands off you and link yours together. Then you pant so sweetly as you look down at him and he looks up at the sweat sheening your forehead. And then you fucking pin his hands down by his head and you make him even crazier.
"You're so pretty, Kylo," you moan, "you feel so good."
"So good," he doesn't miss a beat, "so, so, so, sososos-"
"You're going to fill me up, good, right?" you lick your teeth, "you're going to fill me up good and put a baby in my belly, right?" you sigh, "please, my love, please, please-"
Kylo can't speak. He can't fucking speak, he can't.
"Kylo..." you gutturally call.
He doesn't speak-
"Kylo."
- he succumbs, "I'll..." he whimpers, "I'll put a baby in you, my love," he grunts, "I'll fill you up good, so good, so, so so, sosososo-"
Your whines raise a pitch higher, "Kylo," you nearly choke on your spit, "yes, please, please. I'll be so happy carrying your baby. Don't you want that?"
And then it's all incoherent. And then your breathing gets louder. And then his noises get throatier.
And then, he's tense, so tense, and so warm. And then you're screaming out his name with your head thrown back and you're chasing this high until you can't, until you're hot and fuzzy and jelly and tired.
And then you crumble. And then you crash and you both burn.
And then you make a bed out of him. And then everything is perfect. Everything is in perfect order.
Kylo strokes your hair and kneads your thigh. You're laid upon him, warm, and sweaty, and perfect, and his-- so absolutely beautiful.
He knows he probably shouldn't keep you here like this, but you're so warm and soft around him, on top him. He'll keep you here... just until you ask to get off.
But you don't, you spoil him with your body and fall asleep on top of him.
He continues stroking your hair and kneading your thighs.
He savors the moment, he savors you tenderly; his eyes begin to droop. He replays your lovemaking, self-indulgent, completely self-satisfied. But then it stabs at him as it replays in his head. Suddenly he's wide awake.
He... he could may well have succeeded. He could have put... a baby in his darling's belly.
Kylo's eyes are wide open now. Wide, wide open. He looks up at the ceiling. He stops moving.
You think too much of him, oh fuck, you think too much. With your affirmations, yes, he cold break mountains, consume planets, but this? But- fuck, this was different... he... he's in you, he's part of you, and then this thing... this baby... will only be half of you and a whole half of him. He's giving life. He's not destroying it for the greater good, he's giving it to his love for her to carry.
He screws his eyes shut. He wipes his face. Fuck. What has he done?
He stirs but then he stops himself because you're still on top him. He sighs and cradles you. He moves slowly, rolls you down beside him, and finally separates from you. Not for long though. Never. Not when his mind was racing. Not when he needed you close.
He scoots down and rests his face in the middle of your ribcage. He presses his ear to your heart and listens and blinks and wills his tears away.
He's shattered. He pulls you close to him. You are his glue. He will glue himself together as you sleep beneath him.
He would be a horrible father. He didn't know the first thing to do with the children at the capital, much less with a newborn babe, a newborn babe that you would have cared for inside you for ages. Fuck. He can't mess that up.
He...
He would have to have put the galaxy in order by then. He'd have to fix the brokenness of the world.
Kylo's eye twitches.
He'd have to fix the brokenness in him, obliterate his remaining incompetence, bridge the final gaps of his shortcomings.
He panics when he feels his tears pool against your skin. He quickly wipes them away. Pull yourself together.
He sighs in an attempt to calm himself.
And then he looks at your belly.
He gulps.
Your beautiful belly.
He presses his hands on your navel. He closes his eyes and feels for something. He wills all the force in him to sense if there's something in you. Kylo supposes it doesn't happen that quickly but he lulls himself in comfort, knowing that there was still a chance for him to evade this... this thing he put into his beloved's body.
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