#c!penis

[rainy-daze1]

please ignore the bees idk how to post an mp3 on tumblr mobile so i had to download it as a video

anyway. c!penis' verse in penis gang. lyrics by @burstofstarlight

LYRICS

penis unavailable

penis inevitable

penis getting high

call that penis edible

#penis smp #c!penis #drug mention #penismp #unreality

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed. #everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this? #why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred' #if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all. #a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that? #you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

[breadtheft1796]

every time i'm confronted with good omens fic writers using 'like adam/like eve' as a substitute for 'penis/vagina' i'm punched in the face with the reminder that this fandom is mentally 12 years old and hasn't managed to escape the grasp of their religious upbringing.

#not to mention that it usually precedes some thinly veiled 'adam and eve not adam and steve' bullshit #''it's not that deeeeppp'' it is though #stop referring to penis and vagina as a 'matching set' #stop having a/c pick the opposite to the other so they can ''have sex properly'' #it's literally just homophobia #i don't read good omens fanfic much anymore and this is why #the homophobia isn't even just in the smut #that's just were it's the most obvious #exasperating.... #fandom bullshit #good omens

[lesbattle]

the fact i cant be a fat whore in bg3 is soooo upsetting!! matter of fact the whole party would be better fat!! gale karlach halsin fuck it let me see shadowheart with bigger hip dips. these characters consume nothing but full cuts of marinated hog, soup, elixirs with caloric density unfathomable to natural man, and 80% abv spirits by the bottle as their sole hydration. they should be the bulkiest beings put to visual medium. wheres the beef larian

#like cmon larian i can have penis d but not fupa c?? #i wanna see rolls and double chin and cellulite and stretch marks #i can adjust freckle density but not fat?? #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 tav #larian studios #bg3 karlach #karlach #bg3 halsin #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 gale #homotextual

[spaciebabie]

me at any inconvenience: my penis HURTS!!!!!!!!

#spacie spoinks #me after i took my adv calc test yesterday #my penis hurts #it works b/c while i am feeling absolute dread abt an exam that i 100% failed (again) #i say that and the sentence is so fucking stupid it makes me laugh #me with tears streaming down my face: my penis hurts #cant help but crack a smile #its likee . jingling keys in my own face #hahaaa hey spacie!! hey spacie!! oooh my penis hurts!! ahahhaa!! my penis hurts!! #i m making myself laugh rn by typing this #the horrors will still come after me but my penis stay hurting

[cocksley-and-catapult]

which one is puka shell necklace and which one is cross chain? if neither that is expected

#or more likely hes pretending its his penis and he is escorted out of the park #and then catapult is cross just by process of elimination. idk its a little emo of him maybe? getting goth with it? #c&c asks

[coredrill]

i have (rightfully) seen approximately a bajillion and one peni-shinji memes and as a certified gurren lagann enjoyer TM i just gotta remind everyone that. she goes to school with simon too!!!!

#SO WHEN SHE USES A DRILL IN BTSV……………..yall will know your herstory!!!! #also i think this panel is so funny. he’s so focused but you know there is NOTHING happening in that brain 😭 #wheres that one pic of him in school from the first ttgl movie fully asleep LMAO #f: marvel #marvel: comics #c: edge of spider verse vol. 1 (2014) #ch: peni parker #ch: simon jiha #t.txt

[martyrbat]

his gym teacher fit....

[ID: two low detailed panels of Alfred Pennyworth. He's in a white hoodie and is holding a clipboard. In the first photo he's looking down at it as he writes and in the second, he's in the foreground and is facing away from us to stare at Batman. END ID]

#instead of using my inhaler after running laps (fucking) ill use his cock (penis).... #crypt's panels #alfred pennyworth #i BELIEVE its from: #c: batgirl (2000) | i: 42

[morhath]

why do you often reblog polls a couple of weeks after they've closed and very rarely while they're still active so that others can vote in them? do you have a perpetual queue on a 2-week delay, or do you yourself just love reblogging things you didn't vote in because they'd already finished? (this is not a criticism just a genuine question from a follower who has been perplexed by how many closed polls you reblog and how few active ones. I fear it sounds pass agg but it's not meant to I just can't words very well) (although some of them I would have liked to vote in so if it is a queue it could be fun to boost polls to the top of it sometimes)

Lol I wondered if it was enough of a pattern that anyone would actually notice! Long-ass queue + I reflexively queue all posts unless I'm actively reminding myself to reblog it instead. Or if I've hit Queue Post Limit. I frequently catch myself queueing a poll and go "well shit. I'm not going through my entire queue just to post that instead. bye." I'll try to remember not to do that but it's basically just muscle memory. (And thanks for the disclaimer, I probably would've read it as a little paggro otherwise.)

ETA: also I should warn you that right now I'm going through SUPER old likes, from around the time we GOT polls, so there might be some old-ass polls in there that I feel are worth reblogging.

#sometimes I also reblog/queue polls that already closed b/c the results are funny or whatever #but I feel like you can usually tell with those b/c it's like. making a penis. or you know it's 99% vs. 1% #anonymous #tumblr business #life

[skeleton---arts]

Yeah, you can tell these two have swordfought before

#posting this on my main because im proud of it #cameron voice penis still works btw. #mission to zyxx #mtz #c-53 #captain cameron #my art #fuck posting at the 'prime times' i post when i finish the piece because im impatient

[ratbastarddotfuck]

You have a worm penis that people use as fish bait?

it doesn't have to be my EXACT experience for me to resonate with it smh 😔😔

#anyway i COULD #not like you've seen my penis before >:c #making assumptions tch. #the system speaks #moonlitlillypop

[kozzax]

I don't understand why anyone would be upset about that finale because it really is just. I mean. It's genuinely so good for the characters. I haven't watched the dsmp in ages and I probably won't again but I watched the wilbur stream and it was a perfect bookend to his story.

Yeah, sure, the Utah stuff is cursed, but from an emotional standpoint? This was always how it was going to end.

I have some notes I wrote down back in 2021, in a discord server with some friends, where I spoke about how the end of the dsmp would inevitably be melancholic. Where I talked about how the story, as it stands, was made for a happy ending. The story was always going to end on a hopeful note, and for c!Wilbur in particular, I've always felt that to be true.

This ending? This? This is exactly how it needed to go.

Tommy and Wilbur have always been tied together. They are each other's right hand man. We see this time and time again. They are brothers; not by blood, but by the time and love and work they have put into forging their bond. Wilbur relies on Tommy, and Tommy relies on Wilbur.

So of course Wilbur cannot leave without Tommy being there to see him off. And of course Wilbur cannot bear to think that Tommy might hate him, so he can never apologize, because-- what if he doesn't accept? Sure, he probably would, but how can Wilbur take that risk? But Tommy has to be there, when he leaves. It has to be just him and Tommy. He has to say goodbye in person.

And of course Tommy is worried about Wilbur. With everything he's been through, everything both of them have been through, Tommy would be nothing but terrified for what his brother is about to do. Wilbur's always been cagey, and he has a history of trying to smooth over anything going wrong with big, grand statements. So of course, when Wilbur starts talking about going away and leaving and goodbyes, Tommy calls him the fuck out. He has to protect his brother- he can't let his brother die, not again, so- he does everything he can to stop it.

This is where we get to the Utah bit. And I- I love the Utah bit. I think the Utah bit is perfect. I think, in retrospect, it suits him. His focus on the falsity of Las Nevadas's desert, because it reminds him of his home. His denial of America, in L'Manburg-- because he's left, and he never wants to go back, because he was going through his rebellious years. The fact that it means, for him to go home, he has to go a long ways away.

I love that he's from Utah. And I fucking love that it means his last direct statement to Tommy was "Don't trust those Americans!" in a jovial tone.

Because even though this is a goodbye. He doesn't want his brother to think badly of him. So he leaves with an inside joke, a tease, brings a teary-eyed laugh out of Tommy before he goes home. And this isn't a goodbye forever, but it is a goodbye for now.

And so the last Tommy sees of Wilbur is a smile, and a laugh, and joy. And the last Wilbur sees of Tommy is the same. And neither of them wants to leave the other, but this is how it has to be. Wilbur has to go home to continue his healing process, and Tommy cannot come with him if he is to continue his own.

They are separated. And you can hear the grief in Tommy's cry, at the end there. You can hear how heartbroken he is. But that heartbreak is softened, and that was on purpose, because Wilbur cannot break his little brother's heart. Not again. Never again.

They are brothers.

And though they may have to part, now, they will always be brothers.

"And I heard you say / Right when you left that day / 'Does everything go away?' / Yeah everything goes away / But I'm gonna be here till forever / So just call when you're around" - Always Gold, Radical Face

#my analysis #dsmp #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #dream smp analysis #genuinely this is i think maybe my favorite dsmp lore stream ever #it's so genuinely. like its not perfect but it is . everything i wanted #ive been saying for as long as ive known about the dsmp that c!wilbur especially Will Get A Happy Ending #and that it will be melancholic in that happiness but. that it will be distinctly happy and hopeful #and i was right. #and this finale. did everything i could have asked for #yeah it was goofy #but since when has the dsmp been anything BUT goofy #yeah theres angst and lore but. this is the server with an i heart penis sign for like 50% of its runtime #this is the server where the initial plot started because potions were banned and tommy and wilbur wanted to start problems #and this is the server where c!wilbur is from utah. #where he goes home to continue healing. where he says goodbye to his little brother in the best way he knows how. #where he's not perfect. and he fucked up. and he has to be called out on it. #and where he refuses to say goodbye without bringing a smile to his brothers face #that's what gets me i think. #the line dont trust those americans as a goodbye in the wake of this reveal #the fact that you can hear the stupid fucking grin in tommy's sobs as he realizes that double meaning #the fact that wilbur gave tommy the gift of his last memory of his brother being a happy one #as stupid and goofy as it is. its still a happy one #and that hit me.

[esperanzacboronial]

Something something what if we were both boys

#baccano! #huey laforet #Elmer c. albatross #there’s a full version of this but I can’t put Huey’s penis on my tumblr I just can’t #berylliant art

[silvcrignis]

Sorry but I’m curious 😂 Why does Pan call Claude a ‘Puppy’

((Okay BEFORE I hand this over to the ginger menace himself. Never. E v e r apologise for asking for more info or just stupid stories about these dumpster children. Those are my favourite things to answer. Anyway. Go on, Penis.))

"Oooooh, I'm SO excited to explain this m'gonna IGNORE that! Well. It's actually kinda a FUNNY story."

"It actually all started with this anime I took to watching on the Isle... Dun really REMEMBER the name of it BUT what I do know is that the main character reminded me ALOT of someone I knew.... Y'see NOT many people REALISE that Puppy has the best nose out of ALL of us! Like even people who walk quietly or fly can't sneak up on him because he can SMELL who's walking up behind him. Also really helpful for TRACKING, which he does do sometimes & YES he does the sniffing thing. He also GROWLS & snarls a LOT, specially when he's frustrated. He has the same like claw fingernails as that character & Puppy whacks Victor the same way the guy from the anime whacks the lil fox guy! & the guy from the anime is like... Part DOG, he's got lil doggy ears on his head. But if you have ever seen Claude Frollo tilt his head & widen his eyes, you understand EXACTLY why I call him “Puppy”. Also he really, REALLY hates it when I call him Frollito so PUPPY is the SAFER option."

#x: Answered #rainbowgato #c: Peter #x: Out of Sin #x: Dynamic: Boys To Men (Claude & Peter) #x: Creature Feature (Headcanon) #((HOLY SHIT IM CRYING PAN IS RIGHT CLAUDE DOES ACT A LOT LIKE INUYASHA)) #((I-)) #((WHITE HAIRED TSUNDERE & ALL PLZ)) #((PENIS PANSAYING SOMETHING LOGICAL??? WERE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE JFHDKJDKJKD))