#but yeah my Take is that the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings are heist stories

[liamlawsonlesbian]

what book I would give each current formula one driver to introduce them to the joy of reading

an intellectual exercise no one* asked for

Max Verstappen: Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond - if you are nd and have read this book, you may understand me. otherwise just trust me. the impetus for this post

Checo Perez: The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White - this is an excellent read-aloud book for Sergio Jr.'s age, and there is nothing as wonderful as reading a compelling book to a kid you love, imho

Charles Leclerc: The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman - he is on the record as a Potter enjoyer. also, I think he would enjoy having a little animal friend

Carlos Sainz: Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood - okay yes this is partially a joke about the title, but this is a hilarious and wonderful memoir, about weird families and Catholicism, and I think Carlos would enjoy it.

Lando Norris: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett - in my mind Lando is a little bit like @bright-and-burning but less cool, so this fits. also, the combination of high number of jokes/page + action/mystery seems like a good fit

Oscar Piastri: Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie - this book has the kind of mystery that really draws you in, plus I think Oscar would dig the questions about AI it digs into. I choose to believe with zero evidence that he would be interested in the funky gender stuff

Fernando Alonso: Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell - look me in the eye and tell me this book wasn't written for Fernando Alonso

Lance Stroll: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card - yeah

Lewis Hamilton: Die Trying by Lee Child - Lewis deserves to read mildly trashy thrillers <3 plus there's a Tom Cruise movie

George Russell: Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith - as a proud Brit, George should be reading one of the premiere English authors of the 21st century. her first book of essays is a fun and readable place to start

Yuki Tsunoda: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel - I don't have a Yuki-lore explanation, I just want to give him one of my favorite books

Daniel Ricciardo: The Gunslinger by Steven King - The Dark Tower series is Lord of the Rings-esque in scope but Western-inflected in aesthetic and written by The Horror Guy, I think DR would enjoy

Alex Albon: The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee - I say this with so much love in my heart, but Alex wants to be seen as smart. this book is brilliantly written pop science

Logan Sargeant: Bloomability by Sharon Creech - yes this is a book for tween girls, but it's about boarding school in Switzerland, and Sharon Creech is a genius. if I could convince him to read it, I think he would love it

Valtteri Bottas: The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien - what are hobbits if not humanoid moomins?

Zhou Guanyu: Piranesi by Susannah Clarke - a fun, exciting, stylishly written book for a stylish guy

Kevin Magnussen: Watership Down by Richard Adams - rabbit warfare <3

Nico Hulkenberg: A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles - Hulk SEEMS like a Dad Who Reads Historical Fiction, even if he isn't yet

Pierre Gasly: Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - I almost said A Game of Thrones but I don't think that would be good for him. so, Six of Crows. he likes heists!

Esteban Ocon: City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty - a superhero origin story of sorts for Mr. Spiderman

Bonus: Liam Lawson: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - lesbian from New Zealand. let me have this

*ro asked for it, take it up with them @oscarpiastriwdc

#put the body of this under the cut bc it's embarrassingly long #these books are all originally in english which i know would not be ideal for many of the drivers! but those are the books i know best #do not lose

[secretmellowblog]

I know I’ve said it before but really, the Hobbit is nothing but a Heist Story where the twist is that they're stealing from a dragon! It's literally Ocean's 11 but it's Thorin's 14!

The story is about a sheltered fussy gay old bachelor learning to become a master Burglar! There's a sequence where the protagonists all get sent to fantasy-prison by the elf-cops and Bilbo has to break them out! This is why the Hobbit is such a good children’s book. because it's about how crime is fun and the best way to get out of your comfort zone and make friends is by pulling wacky heists!

I think my favorite moments in the Hobbit are the ones where Burglarly is described in the way authors would usually describe Knighthood: in glowing terms, as an honorable profession with a deeply respectable history. Being good at Breaking the Law and Thieving is something worthy of accolades and praise (as long as you’re stealing for Honorable reasons). I love things like, the moment where the Elf-King wishes Bilbo a good day with the line:

"May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy).”

Tolkien understood that epic fantasy stories are the best when they’re actually heist stories in disguise!

#the hobbit #lord of the rings #yeah im working on the next chapters of my hobbit comic adaptation and! I love the Heist aspect of the hobbit #'you already made the ocean's 11 joke when you were talking about Lord of the Rings' #well im reusing it #ive been on this site for years so i get to reuse Joaks #also yeah I know i havent been active in the sly cooper fandom lately #because i have no energy #and my gif-making websites are down #but #yeah honestly I think a big part of why I'm Like This #is because two of my biggest childhood obsessions (Lotr/Sly Cooper) #had the same Amazing attitude towards crime #(that it was fun and wacky heists are the best bonding activity to do with your friends) #so now my favorite media is always about people pulling heists together #and all my fanfic is about wacky heists #and whenever I think of a 'Cool Character' my mind immediately goes 'they need to be a Thief' #but yeah my Take is that the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings are heist stories #that happen to take place in epic fantasy worlds #and thats why no other fantasy stories grab me as much #because its hard to find other fantasy stories that center on HEISTS ya know #(also I posted this on twitter and it flopped) #(i trust tumblr to understand) #(I feel like my followers here appreciate Heists more)