#but the caregiver is like 🤨

[wonwayne]

how enha takes care of you ☁️

pairing : ot7 x gn!reader genre : fluff, comfort, humor warnings : mentions of food word count : 1k

a/n : requested by anon! kind of kicked it off with this hee drabble but had so much fun writing for all the members. for today’s purposes, let’s keep y/n sick and alone in their apartment 🫶

💭 heeseung

my little philosophy is that significant others can be two types of caregivers — one actively tries to treat your illness, the other is emotional support

each has their own merit ofc

but hee is miraculously both

sincerely believes he can rizz you to health

he’s being a bit selfish, he worries, for making you smile all the time

because it heals him more than it heals you

but he makes up for it by making sure you eat like a king (for all three meals a day!) until you feel better

also cuddles with you in bed to keep you warm

if whatever you have is contagious, he is definitely getting it

last but certainly not least: he sings to you. acoustic covers + snippets of his self-produced music, you’re getting it all 😌

almost makes you wish you were sick more often

💭 jay

arrives at your place with like fifty grocery bags (okay maybe not fifty, but… a lot)

big believer in sleep as the best medicine so he lets you be for the most part

but as soon as you wake up and come down to the living room

say hello to a FEAST

literally no room left on the dining table and he’s still doing something in the kitchen????

“jay i can’t… consume all of this” “don’t worry, eat as much as you want for now and i’ll put the leftovers in the fridge”

at this point what is there left to say except “can you just be my husband already”

you’re about to dig in and suddenly he’s standing over you giving you the death stare

“... did i… do something wrong?” “seriously?” your heart stops before he goes, “what happened to my thank you kiss?”

UGH he’s such a softie

💭 jake

is worried SICK and cannot hide it

refuses to leave your bedroom once he first enters it unless absolutely necessary — must stay by your side at all times !!

not the most experienced but the effort is very much there

“should we take the medicine together? would that be easier?” and you KNOW he hates taking medicine

“babe why would you take nyquil. you don’t have a cold.” “idk it can’t hurt can it?” it very much can (don’t do this kids)

he drinks it with you anyway (clinks the medicine cups and says “cheers!”… what are you going to do with this man) and tries his best to fight the drowsiness

ends up dozing with his head on your lap, kneeling by the bed

peak puppy position i tell you PEAK

💭 sunghoon

what matters is not so much how he takes care of you but how he looks so good while taking care of you: simple white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up just to the elbows, hair slicked back a little from washing his face, setting damp towels on your forehead and his forearm veins emerging as he wrings them… help me

it’s the wuthering heights bedridden cathy victorian era aesthetic okay

speaking of books why do i get the feeling that sunghoon would read to you

or simply talk to you about his day or childhood memories or anything to keep you comfortable and entertained

idk i feel like he’d want to remind you of his presence in a “i’m here for you” type of way but without being intrusive… is not at all offended when you fall asleep to his voice

don’t you just love when sunghoon.

💭 sunoo

i have one very specific idea for sunoo and i’m kinda obsessed with it

MINT. TEA. (if you know you know… mint tea is the sinus relief GOD)

and ofc as our resident mint choco lover, how could he not

“baby i made something for you!” you peer into the mug and you’re like 🤨 “you didn’t add chocolate syrup to this did you” “wtf i’m not a monster why would i do that??”

his discography and food preferences beg to differ but he truly does give you pure, steaming mint tea

it is so perfect i promise you will fall in love with him all over again

mint aside we all know this man is a human vitamin like i cannot imagine you staying sick for long

no need to binge tv (it makes your head hurt more anyway), just have sunoo spill all the drama to you for seven hours straight and you’ll be good to go

💭 jungwon

makes you wonder, did this boy have a medical degree this entire time and just not tell me??

knows exactly which medications help with which symptoms, gives you all the immune boosting foods, pulls up with a weighted blanket and a heating pad and a plushie to hug— you’re getting the best sleep of your life no question about it

listens to you so well “i miss what it was like to breathe” “it’s frustrating, isn’t it? as soon as one nostril clears, the other fills up, and it never seems to end” “YES ohmy— [cough] god, yes, you get it :(”

at the same time i think won is the most likely to avoid skinship when you’re sick bc yeah that stuffy nose does not sound fun

is smart about it though; prepares a bubble bath for you and then sets up the heating pad and everything on your bed while you’re in the bath

becomes 143x touchier once you’re back to normal (“i missed squishing your cheeks” “i missed squishing your cheeks!”)

💭 niki

crashes at your place to make sure you’re having a good time

it’s either you watching him game or movie marathon together

you don’t say it but you are so inordinately grateful that he’s caring enough to chill with you on days like these, you know he’d rather do dates outside and play pranks on you every other hour, but he’s giving that up just for you

would share a tub of ice cream with you if you’re craving it, although he voices his concerns first “is it… right to eat cold stuff when you have a cold?” “it defrosts in my mouth don’t worry” “okay you do you”

basically a good old sleepover

every time he checks your temperature he sings his part in fever (he’s humorous like that)

#wonwayne #enhypen #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #enhypen comfort #enhypen humor #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #lee heeseung #heeseung #park jongseong #jay #sim jaeyun #jake #park sunghoon #sunghoon #kim sunoo #sunoo #yang jungwon #jungwon #nishimura riki #niki

[lowkeyrobin]

QSMP ; how much their eggs like you

includes ; tubbo & sunny, wilbur & tallulah, charlie & juanaflippa, quackity & tilin, jaiden & empanada and philza & chayanne

warnings ; language, mentions of parental neglect

genre ; fluff, little bit of angst if you squint

pronouns used ; they/them , partner

AN ; I'm not like super into qsmp yet, so bare with me, ik most of them have like multiple parents/caregivers but I picked the ones I know the most about and the qsmp wiki is currently my life saver. the eggs are so cute so I can't not wrkte a little something about them 💔💔💔💔 I apologize bc this is gonna be so ooc... also ik juanaflippa and tilin died but ignore that

masterlist

TUBBO & SUNNY

Sunny is very iffy about you at first

"pa, who is that?"

"uhhh... that's y/n" Tubbo answers, "my partner"

she stares at both of you for a second like 🤨😒

they think their dislike of themselves of others is totally unfair and only relies on a select few people so trying to get used to you in a whole story in itself

tubbo, charlie, lenay, and polispol do their best to try and tell her "Hey they're cool, sunny, it's okay, they love you!!" but she won't budge

takes her a long while to accept you into the lil family but she ends up loving you

money is the way to their heart

if only anyone had told you sooner...

WILBUR & TALLULAH

tallulah instantly loves you

she's very quiet around you at first and hides behind will but quickly gets used to your presence

she's just a little anxious at first yk

"I love pa's new partner :3"

she loves playing the flute for you and talking about star wars with you it's the cutest thing

like you'll just be watching over her for Will or Phil and she's just so comfortable talking about her passions with you

Tallulah loves reassuring your builds and likes helping you as well, if you're unsure of how something looks, she's quick to reassure you that it looks good!

she gets you little gifts and shit it's the most adorable thing

her desire for validation mostly drives her kindness to you but she does actually appreciate you a lot

you seem to be there when no one else is and she frequently gives you 'I love you's and little flowers and stuff

she has abandonment issues so you make sure to always check behind yourself to make sure she's still following you

you refuse to leave her anywhere

always looks at you with a 😊 or 🤩 no explanation

she always refers to you as 'ma/pa' or a special nickname. like a syllable of your actual name or smthn, like something special for you two lol

you constantly tell and reassure each other that you're so awesome, great dynamic honestly

CHARLIE & JUANAFLIPPA

She's very quiet and reserved, but obedient

that automatic obediencey grew as a part of her and she just automatically accepted you into the family

although charlie and mariana were very negligent parents, she still trusted them and did as they said

you were the total opposite

it was what she wanted with you two, she has the freedom

you constantly argue w charlie over being a neglectful parent (character not irl)

she's very brave and courageous, and knows how to stay positive

you have personal beef w her parents bc they're such asses to her /hj

she loves guns.

she teaches you how to use guns as well

bonding time in the enclosure 🤞🤞🤞

she lived a short life but she's literally a part of you now

QUACKITY & TILIN

very sweet and caring but also chaotic and edgy

you showed her love and she CLUNG to you

"y/n is my favorite person, not you, pa"

they were always looking to give and receive love to/from everyone but quackity made it so hard for them

even after expressing being mad at quackity for not paying attention to them, they still loved him

shit broke your heart

he literally died bc of neglect from quackity bruh

constantly fighting w quackity over them being neglected :( (character not irl)

all they wanted was love man

you did your best to show her love and make memories with her since quackity clearly barely wanted to

quackity promised he'd be a better dad but uh...

towards the end of their life, they started getting depressed and stuff, you obviously noticed

you just laid on the floor with him, listening to all he had to say, just being there for him

anyways this is getting sad

they love you so much, tells you constantly that they love you and appreciate you

cutie patootie

JAIDEN & EMPANADA

em is very loving, instantly accepts you into the family, although a little cautious at first

you make her sweet foods all the time

absolutely loves you sm

always repays you with flowers or little treasures

"I got you flowers, ma/pa!"

she has a passion for baking with Niki, so sometimes you three (Niki and Em + you watching or burning the house down) have little baking days

jaiden just watching you guys be silly and do dumb shit like "I think I won with this one, guys"

you and jaiden spoiling the hell out of her LMAO

PHILZA & CHAYANNE

used to be more quiet but now talks a lot more

very energetic, your energies match perfectly

very responsible, looks over you if anything

he's always eager for adventure so you guys go explore often while phil and missa are busy

teaches you combat tricks and tips

literally a walking 'top 5 best combat tips and tricks' video I swear

he's very confident as well, likes to pvp with wooden swords with you

he always wins

you aren't even trying to let him win, he's just a god

I mean he's being raised by Phil and Missa so it makes sense LMAO

"I want pvp with y/n :("

"chayanne, they're not online, I'm sorry"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #quackity x reader #qsmp #qsmp x reader #qsmp sunnysideup #qsmp tallulah #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tilin #qsmp juannaflippa #qsmp empanada

[tojipie]

ohmygosh y did u put toji wit a newborn on my dash... 😵‍💫 now i gotta talk about how he rlly rlly rlly wants to try his best. i want 2 imagine u have twins (megumi and tsumiki) and he doesnt want u to feel like you're the main parent, so while ur laying on the bed chilling, hes in the bathroom with the two miniscule little things :(( plopping then gently as ever into the shallow cradles slightly below the water level in the bath rub. and he always gets soo nervous when hes reminded of how small they are compared to his big hands. its kinda cute too u sit on the counter sometimes and watch as he uses the softest brush and massage their little heads while they snort and groan and make little baby noises like they do :(( sometimes he side eyes u to see if ur judging him and you just put your hands up and let him do what he needs to do lol.

i thinkk bc he consistently feels remorse for those years u were alone, he goes the extra mile to ensure he keeps up to standard with u after hes out and after u give birth. bc while he doesnt expect u to get up and work out he keeps maintaining his muscle. when he hears about dad bods he goes ???? cuz what😭🤨 he calls em 'lazy fucks' who dont actually do shit for their wives

this is also a part of the reason why since maybe the kids were about a week old he'd asked if u guys ciuld explore breast pumping options, so u could pump out milk in advance when u had an oversupply and that way he could feed the babies on his own without you feeling like you should be depending on as a main caregiver 😭

tears in my eyes . hands shaking . sobbing with snot. u are a genius

#adah’s asks #prison bf! toji #prison bf!toji

[8-rae-rae-8]

Hiii-

I'm imagining Graves with some form of toy which makes quite a lot of noise be that a rattle or a toy that plays music or something and a previous 'Caregiver' (could even interpret that as Shepherd 🤨) gets really angry at him for it because it's 'annoying' and so then with the 141 when small he tried to stay really quiet despite Simon's babbling and Kyle and Soaps constant play and noise. He has to be taught that it's okay to make noise again 😭

-🚁

He likes loud noises

It's not explicit or even obvious, but goddamn that smile he got when watching the rig blow

The satisfaction about the boom while getting general gorbani in al mazrah...

He LIKES loud sounds

He likes hearing what sounds things make

And it was very easy to frustrate carers with that

He was always loud, whether it be babbling, stomping, hitting things or playing with toys, he was just loud

And that enjoyment got taken away when he'd get in trouble for it

He'd be quiet now. Hell, he wouldn't even cry loud. He was determined to be good because he was already so bad, he told himself he was bad for being the way he was. With his job, with his social life, relationships, even.

But seeing the others being loud around him, and Price encouraging it while they were small, he gets so confused and scared. What if it's a trap? Of course he'd think that. But Simon looked so happy, Soap was shouting nonsense as he played with Gaz... And Graves just wanted to join in but he didn't let himself

He stuck to his quiet toys, even flinching when they clinked together. As if he'd get in trouble for it.

It's concerning to see a little one so hesitant to just play. Price tried to help with that. He played louder games with him, things like patty cake to get him used to sounds like clapping and then encouraging louder sounds when Phil would giggle of squeal

It's like retraining a dog. They're stuck in their ways, but can be done with persuasion

And Phil is a puppy with lots of fears. Treats and praise would do the trick, Price could tell

#🚁 #call of duty #phillip graves #cod agere #cod #cod mw2 #cod mwii

[the-six-that-thrive-if]

Heyyy Ciel. Hope you are well. Can't believe my slow ass is only finding your tumblr now 🙈

But I just wanted to say love the story so far, SUBJECT F-24 is my fav RO because of that flashback we saw of them actually broke my heart it was so sad. And I think there's so much more to them.

Okay I digress. I'm going around being a nosy Parker and asking some of my fav authors some questions. I hope that's okay, my apologies if you've answered some of these already... like i said I'm very late on this tumblr bus 😇

1. Who is your fav RO and why?

2. What inspired you to write this and why this particular genre?

3. What's the best/ worst part of taking on such a creative project?

4. Paperbacks or digital copies? (I know like everything is digital these days bt i personally just love the library so I'm a fan of holding a book since childhood)

5. If you had to choose one food to eat forever what would it be? 🤨

I love reading more about the writers I follow, so I hope this is okay ♥️

Ahh! Thank you! Thank you! Honest with Dante's Backstory, I don't feel sad for him—hear me out—simply because Dante himself isn't sad about it, but I do really love his back story!! But I like how his backstory also creates a Domino effect for the other Love Interests.

Onto the Questions

1. Ro Simeon. 100% Simply because he's like the complete opposite of everything Dante is, and his character honestly is just amazing, even though it isn't shown much, I just adore him.

2. What inspired me. Hm, honestly I've had several different post-apoptotic stories, like this one is a combination of two stories ive had in drafts. One where the MC was actually a caregiver and worked with subjects, but it was based underground. While a different one was one revolving around districts and subjects.

Dante and The Dragon are based on two characters from the story where MC was a caregiver and would take care of them. With alil differences. It was called Disparity and MC worked at Eclipse Facility, so that's all funny to me.

3. The best part is writing a character that anyone can design, which is why I absolutely hate writing a proper book, simply because I'm used to writing x readers 💀 and the worst part, is it's time-consuming and if I don't work in a somewhat timely manner, I feel guilty and that affects everything.

4. I like a good hardcover paper book, I think it's real neat.

5. French fries and Chicken Tenders. Why, cause I'm a child who's picky and likes what she likes.

Ahh! I love the questions, thank you so much!!!

#t.m.basement.gossip

[dissociativediscourse]

Hello! This is a question regarding complex childhood trauma and how it could lead to CDDs-

So, background info, I’ve been questioning whether or not I’m a system for a while. Other people have also basically gone ‘🤨’ at me and have told me that my experiences seem rather similar to OSDD. I may quote someone as saying ‘yeah that’s some OSDD shit’. Includinggg one Dxed DID system. Which is. Hm!

It’s gotten to where the woman doing my intake appointment for my college counseling sessions has suspected me of it. (Though I wouldn’t call them… the MOST ah, experienced institution for it considering a lot of their knowledge is from one 1-week seminar that was done last year)

One thing that I tend to get hung up on is what exactly my trauma was to cause this, or at least a level of dissociation to resemble a CDD at all.

Now, I know that it’s not the best idea to go digging for trauma, but I’m a very curious person at heart, and it’s less digging up memories and more ‘which already known memory or events could have caused this?’

One of my leading hypotheses is: literally just having untreated generalized anxiety disorder through my WHOLE childhood. It’s genetic so it was there biting my ass the whole time.

This does beg the question; CAN such a thing cause a CDD or CDD-presenting symptoms?

I’ve heard that it’s chronic trauma, or repeat chronic stressors that lead to the development of CDDs. A sort of constant fight or flight mode.

What’s fucky about GAD is that it can give ya that shit for free! No outside stressors needed!

Note that, like disorders do, my GAD is far greater in severity now than it was in my childhood, but my example still stands…

TLDR: could someone develop a CDD from untreated childhood generalized anxiety disorder while having a pretty good life otherwise, because generalized anxiety can mayhaps ‘substitute’ for a stressful environment in childhood with its own, shall I say, ‘home-grown’ stress? Could just having a genetic anxiety disorder throughout childhood lead to such stress as to cause dissociation to cope with it?

Are there any studies on this? If not, anybody wanna do a study? I think people should do studies more, they can be fun to do. But not tumblr poll studies, like, actual research paper studies. With annotated bibliographies and statistical significance and all that fancy stuff.

(Additional thing: I really feel people underestimate how Fucked GAD can be as a disorder. It can fuck up your cardiovascular system! It can give you HEART PROBLEMS just because heehoo adrenaline glands go brr! No major panic attacks needed, even! Just chronic stress alone!)

I’m going to first link you to my most recent ask so that I don’t have to repeat the same things over and over. https://www.tumblr.com/dissociativediscourse/715062976412073984/hello-i-made-a-post-reaching-out-to-the-plural

And then, I’m going to restate something: I can’t diagnose you. I don’t diagnose people, and neither should anyone else on Tumblr or IRL (that isn’t a licensed professional). The words of others that say you have Vibes really don’t matter that much in the big picture because whether they have it or not or have been through a one week seminar or not, they aren’t professionals and have not been trained to spot it and diagnose it and treat it, and that’s kind of the deal with that.

Secondly, I want you to know that I’m not trying to invalidate you or say that you’re wrong or anything like that… But there are a few things I have to point out.

One of those is that a huge part of DID is disorganized attachment/lack of a trustworthy caregiver/inability to receive comfort from trauma/lack of a safe place. As well, your brain can’t traumatize itself to the point of developing a CDD. This is an immutable fact, no matter what disorder is involved. GAD alone cannot and will not ever be able to cause DID, nor will any other disorder. The question isn’t “was this traumatic”. It is “Did this disrupt this child’s brain development repeatedly in a way that would result in a CDD?”.

GAD is stressful, but it would need a few extra steps from the outside to cause a CDD to form.

Now, I don’t know whether or not those happened. And if you don’t, you shouldn’t go digging at this point. You should honestly take the advice that I linked to in the last ask. Get help, and start working on symptom management. Because it doesn’t matter whether or not you have a dissociative disorder as much as it matters that you’re okay. If you need help, you deserve it. And you deserve help that works for you. The whole point of a diagnosis is to allow you get the right help and be as safe and happy as possible.

I don’t know anything about your childhood besides what you’ve told me, so that’s about as far as my advice goes. But if you do one thing, please, *please* read the post I linked, because that’s the best starting point I can offer.

#dissociative identity disorder #asks #osddid #did advice #osdd #advice asks #dissociative identity disorder advice #did osdd

[laladellakang]

knowing some cases, based on what you answered before, the caregivers / nannies of the children, can leak private information about them???? how photos or videos?

What would the members do? Or what kind of information would they leak? Or the sasaeng? 🤨

[ This could also be a question for the members and Della, if you like it <333 ]

knowing hybe or enha who spent a long time in hybe, i doubt that they’ll hire untrustworthy people, especially for such an important job. if they do so, it’ll be a breach of contract and they’ll see enha in court

but if it did happen, they’ll definitely leak how the boys act with their non-biological kids or the boys’ friendship (since everyone thinks there’s tension from sharing della) and like, if della actually is fair or she plays favourites 🥀

#clc - ldk asks

[strilonder]

Slight eye strain warning <3 *🍬

+ homestuck jumpscare hehhahhahehs >:))

HIHSIJSI HI GUYS UHHHMMMM THIS IS HOW I REMEMBER MY SOURCE/CANON UNIVERSE :33 *🍬 (IM ROXY BTW)

No, these will NAUT match up wit the hit webcomic Homosuck >8( if u go into the notes and say some stuff lik “uhhhmmm wtf, the storyline makes no sense, X would NOT behave like that and is NOT transgender 🤨🤨🤨” SHUT UP this is where I came from and who I grew up with. if you cant accept their identities, then you can GLADLY leave >8[ anyways, heres some info about my friends and family :3

John Egbert —> Juhne Egbert

- girlboy boygirl, every and any pronouns

- is such a nerd, loves dnd (dungeons and dragons)

- def neurodivergent. would ramble on for hours about mythology and pokemon and sntuff

- always loved hiking and swimming with Jake

- bisexual/omni? i dont know, mightve dated vriska because they said the two of them were pretty close + he and Dave were hella fruity lmao

Jake English —> Jake Englishman

- cishet aroace guy, he/him 833

- loved shooting ranges, adventuring, and fishing but was a huuuuugggeee wuss when it came to literally everything else

- he has such cute moles all over him + you see that rat tail (he REFUSES to cut it even when some of us tell him it sucks. it goes really good with him tbh 8))

- color matching earings with Jane!!!!

- dated Jane for a while I’m pretyy sure. not sure if they still were before i left their reality 8(

Dirk Strider —> Dirkie Strilonde (MY POOKIE!)!!!

- transmasc (no hormone therapy cause DUHHHH were on ALIEN PLANETS >:PP), he/hit

- auughshsh had such FLUUDFFY HAIR UHRGHS <33

- loves birdwatching and bird feeding, honestly so cute whenever he pointed out the species of birds we came acorss

- hits wearing AR jr btw, jr is sooo adorable and dirkie is an amazing papa

- i honestly duno his orientation but lets just say hes queer :33

AR/Auto-Responder/Lil Hal —> AR/ARon

- is above gender, uses it/they pronouns but couldnt care less about misgendering

- its body was made from Brobot’s scraps and runs on uranium!

- bakes with Jane often and likes having rap offs with Squarewave and Sawtooth

- romance? sexuality? robots cant feel, idiot!!! /nsrs /lh

- likes to spar with anybody and everybody. tickle fights and pillow throwing ambushes are common when around the Strilonde residence!!!

Jane Crocker —> Janise “Jane” Crocker

- cishet girlie <3, she/it (pronouns do NOT equal gender!!! Remember dat :3)

- has bracelets of dirkie and jake and a hairband of me!!!!!

- her hobbies are baking, cooking, diving, and mathematics!!

- best friend for gossip >:))

- yes, those are troll horns on her :3 She is half troll!!!

Dave Strider —> David “Dave” Strilonde

- cis bi guy, he/gear prnouns

- Had black feelings for Karkat and flushed ones for Terasi (Terezi)

- usually play-fights with ARon and Jadethon (Jade) and has a fanbase for Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff!!!

- when the katana was thrown at the crow, it missed it but hit the beta, which then hit a black labrador. future dave prototyped himself and the labradorsprite together, who were then fused with current dave during the god-tier ascension. thus creating PUPPY DAVE!!!!!!!!

- age and pet regresses with Jadeth often (Jaspersprite and Fefetasprite is their caregivers/owners 833)

Rose Lalonde —> Rose Lalonde (for some reason, only meh and Rose are Lalonde and not a Strilonde like de boys ‘,:7)

- cis lesbian woman!!!!!!, she/her/horror

- loves planting with her gf Kanaya and her qpr partner Jadeth <3

- lives wit Beta/pre-scratch Mom Lalonde and ARon and Dave!!!! (Me and Dirkie live w the Egberts and Crockers)

- a satanist wiccan 8)

- a complete nerd who listens to Juhne’s rambling and debates w her about cryptids like mothman and bigfoot

anyways thats it for now lololol I RLLY RLYY LOBE ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THEY ALL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME 8)))

..strilonder : <3

..strilonder : dudeool

..strilonder : ort

..strilonder : Roxy

#..strilonder : <3 #da/irl #delusional attachment #irl/da #d/a #homestuck #hstuck #hom3stuck #hs^2 #..strilonder : dudeool #..strilonder : ort #..strilonder : Roxy

[silvaurum]

taking a communication class for my psych major & some therapy stuff has me considering. the way i approach communication and what i believe Other People find valuable & likeable. the image for me, is 'be cool', to be laid back. to be the opposite of needy, clingy, annoying. not to interrupt. to never bother others with interruptions or ideas they might not like, but to always be up for what they want. to be cool with it, whatever 'it' is, to be chill with anything.

which is, actually, to be totally passive in all my relationships. to never suggest anything or take initiative, because i could be turned down but moreso because that initiative could be unwanted, and if i Annoy someone with Unwanted suggestions, they will Super Fucking Hate Me and i be Enraged and i will have to cower and laugh it off like my suggestion was totally stupid nevermind haha i'm so sorry nevermind whatever you want is good, way better than mine, yeah, no totally i'll just stay here while you cool off, have fun! i love you i'm sorry no totally i love you, sorry. <- the trauma

which is, also, like, when i take it out of the trauma context and tone it down to just normal 'total passivity'. and i can ask myself. ok do i actually want that? do i actually want to just passively wait and hint to people that i want to do things and hang out but never suggest or plan anything because it might be unwanted or rejected? do i want to just sit and hope that people like me enough to always be the one to reach out first? do i want to be completely passive in all my relationships and only do things when other people initiate?

😐

no. fuck that! no!

so. i am both:

A.) i really want to initiate more stuff and to like, get practice with reaching out so i can feel confident with my friends. and make new ones. and have new experiences. and to... i don't know, actually have the experiences i want to have without sitting around pining for them forever in the hopes that someone will read my mind and or i will magically gain the confidence to ask for it.

&

B.) oh dear god i can not survive if anyone gets mad at me, they will Kill Me, i will die of their rage, or if not they will never speak to me again because i will have broken the fundamental social rules that allow them to tolerate me (??) or allow me to be in their presence as a faux-equal (???) instead of the. sub- and un-human that i secretly really am (?????) and will be revealed to be if i Annoy Them, by asking if they Like Me enough to ""Hang Out"" (😐?🤨?)

which. i am working on B in therapy already and have been for a while, and i am slowly improving and gaining confidence and self-worth and esteem. but, also. hm.

because the truth is i want to blow up my whole life sometimes and be an uberslut and not fuck with anybody and ditch all my responsibilities and move away across the country without talking to anybody just go 'bye' and fuck off and leave. because i'm really tired of the responsibilities i have. i'm really tired of the ruts of my longer term relationships. i'm sick of my dad. i'm sick of caregiving when it feels like i... don't have much of a say. if i were to go 'hey you know what, no, i don't wanna fucking do this, i know it's easier for You to have me work & clean & cook in exchange for him paying rent and insurance and maybe it IS easier for me too, but it sure doesn't feel like a deliberate choice i made! it just kinda feels like you assumed i would do this forever! things just kinda 'fell into place'! in a really convenient way for you!

and that's like. a big manifestation of the passivity problem. is that. that's how we. that's how he ""communicates"" too. with everyone. we don't talk about it, except when we mention it, so he can go 'boy this is great, thank you' and i can go 'haha yeah 😐 it does have its perks! 👍🏼'

but also. he is one of the reasons my reaction to the idea of 'active conversation' is 'oh god what if someone gets mad at me. absolutely not', although he is definitely Not the only, or for much of my life main reason for that, he is a contributing factor. and he's been pissy lately because of, he claims and i assume, brain fog from cancer and pain and stress about getting older, and everyone around him getting older. he also doesn't have any friends. bc as i said. he also communicates so utterly passively 90% of the time that it's. difficult to communicate at all with him. and the other 10% is his repressed emotions, mostly anger, bubbling over inappropriately and in random misdirections, so. it's not pleasant trying to talk to him! sometimes he's okay but man.

and he has the same issue all the adults / caregivers in my life have of just not being able to stay on topic unless he can talk about himself. i don't think i have had a single serious relationship with an older person in my family where i can talk. about myself. or my life. and not have them either blow up at me or blow me off immediately. they can talk about Their sad childhood or Their divorce or Their work problems or Their politics, but i have just. not had many fruitful conversations. if it's about stuff that doesn't affect us as much, Maybe, once i listen to everything they think and validate them, i can give my perspective and soften them up to a compromise.

but my personal experiences?? i just do not go to family adults for that, i do not expect that from them because it has never been offered or available.

that is so fucking sad.

and i don't hate it here! it genuinely is nice to have a more stable situation and to have some sense of reliability for physical and fiscal needs. i just. don't. always feel like i am here because i have a free choice. i technically, i guess, have a choice, but. it's not one i feel like i can actually. look at. or. discuss. openly.

and that's not how i want to be. i want my autonomy and i want to live my life because i chose it, doing what i love and trying what i want, having options and making personal, specific choices, taking steps to get what i want, where i want, how i want. not. just being here. not. this.

this has been the root of my depression for a LONG time like when i was still living with my mom, type long, and it was. worse and better then because i had less hope for my immediate future but i had more daydreams. now it's like. i'm half. it's half. way there. i AM doing things. because i want. 😔... and. it. still feels. hard. and, discouraged. and, bad. like, my dad, wants to drive me, which is ok, i don't want, to take the bus for 1.5 hours each way every day i work. and. he seems. kind of like, he wants, to always drive me. and says. it's hard to see me get more independent. and he wants me here cleaning, instead of on the bus.

and. i don't. know how, he wants me, to feel, about that. i don't. think he's joking. he doesn't, mean it in, a bad way, i think. not, totally serious, or literal. 😮‍���

[mxwallydarling]

Some FNAF SB brainrot here ft. GN Reader x daycare attendant ☀️🌒 (platonic or romantic)

I felt like writing something with the reader as The Older Sister (gn reader but that was the best way to describe it) who's in college working at the pizzaplex and uses the daycare for their little siblings. Reader is overworked and exhausted, Burnout™️

"Hello new friend!!! Do you want to play?"

- Sunny is such a sweetheart, best caregiver ever. He primarily handles your older little sibling, them being hyper and excitable. I can see Sunny with ADHD (perfect for my little sibling haha)

-When it comes to the toddler, they're much easier to handle. Little one prefers snuggling, reading, and music. Moon would be quite suited to little one I think. Would secretly let baby stay up longer because 1: they're easygoing and enjoyable to be around, and 2: he wouldn't punish a baby❤

- When Moon is out little one is following behind his heels, but Moon doesn't particularly mind with this one.

- when Sunny has baby he kinda scares them a little. They'll warm up to him once they see their older sibling with Sun and how well they get along

"Hey y/n! Come look at what we made!" Sibling and Sunny are always so happy to see you. You're so happy you have such good people watching your siblings while you work your ass off. Praise management for letting you use the Daycare

- if it's been a long day, chances are high that baby is awake with Moom while older sibling is passed tf out

- Although Sunny is responsible, I feel like Moon is more mature in nature since he deals with the rules and bedtimes. Thus late night conversations ensue

- He'd ask about your college work, the work you do at the pizzaplex, any Gossip👀

-moon doesnt interact with the animatronics all that much but he still wants all the tea

-if you have night classes and cant find anyone to take the kids that late, Sunny and Moon are Da Homies and hide em away to play games!! Sunny more than Moon when it comes to games and fun, but Moon is the snuggle buddy and will read to the babies. Only cause they are yours ❤

- ngl though you will have a much sweeter Moon on your hands than some of the other parents/siblings. You just domt understand all of the complaints about him when your kids are so happy 🤨

- your siblings ABSOLUTELY get special treatment. Sunny tries not to make it toooo obvious cause of the other sweethearts, but Moon is shameless. Shows blatant favorites. Gives no fucks

#fnaf fandom #fnaf moondrop #fnaf security breach #fnaf sunny #fnaf sundrop #daycare attendant #older sibling struggles #daycare attendant x reader #sundrop and moondrop #sundrop x reader #moondrop x reader

[redoqs]

I bring you something wholesome

We’ve seen Donna as a mom but what about grandma? Years after the kids are grown and left the nest only to surprise y’all that they’re going to be parents themselves. Grandchildren will probably refer to Donna as nonna (Italian word for grandma) Perhaps even have an older Donna (I don’t know if any of the lords besides Alcina actually age? I can’t remember)

Dont think I didn’t see this, I did ive just been fried for the past few days

Now, here’s the thing…when Donna’s kid—well, they’re not a kid now, they were well into their thirties—visited to share the news that they were going to have kids of their own, Donna couldn’t contain her excitement if she tried. She is someone who claps when she’s excited so she’s clapping all loud. You were in a different room so you heard the clapping and was like🤨

“What are we excited about?”

“OUR BABY IS HAVING A BABY!!!!”

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!?!”

Donna is going to give her kid all kinds of advice that she’s learned over the years, from what to do when your baby cries in the middle of the night to which diapers are the best to how to avoid getting a headache every time the baby cries. She will hand you every book she had, she saved them for this day specially

When she sees her grand baby for the first time she cries because what the heck!? THEY SO CUTE!!!! They look just like her parent and Donna is having a hard time handing the newborn back to their actual caregiver.

“Mom, I’m glad your love your grand baby but I have yet to hold them”

“Ten more minutes, please.”

You want to hold the baby too but Donna just doesn’t want to let go. They’re so cute!!!!!!!

Donna gets to watch her grand baby grow up. They love their grandma so much, always wanting to go over to her house and hang out, ask her questions and make dolls and sew clothes and they just don’t want to not see their grammy. You get jealous a bit because your grand baby is more intrigued by Donna than you

“Babe, they love us both dearly”

“Uh huh, so why did they come inside and ask for you immediately?”

Your grand baby loves you just as much as Donna and you all manage to grow old together, hanging out like you all did when you were younger. Have you ever seen a more beautiful family?

(Also, silver haired Donna sounds sexy as hell)

#this is a lil on the short side #bro send me something funny I feel like clowning today #donna beneviento #resident evil village