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luv4fushi · 6 months

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omfg i litr read everything uve written off ur masterlist I NEED MOREEEE. i love the way u write megumi especially, i couldn’t get enough of it. i hope you write more of him, my heart aches for more tbh 🥹 tysm for being such a good writer and feeding us starved readers well

tysm! i'm sooo glad i can be a good source of megumi content for you >_< i looove writing megumi so you'll be seeing sooo much more of him, dw! happy holidays!

this december

jjk fushiguro megumi x fem!reader

it’s always colder on your own, especially around this time of year. you should be at home, bundled up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, but here you are in shinjuku, exorcizing curses with your ex boyfriend two weeks after your breakup with him. great.

content: post break up, aged up megumi (19/20), megumi is terrible at feelings, getting back together, fluff if you squint, a bit of angst, miscommunication, one bed (but it isn’t the main plot point sorry), megumi calls you baby like once, gojo is the best wingman, SHIBUYA ARC NEVER HAPPENED AND LIFE IS GOOD, not proofread im very sorry guys pls forgive me, kinda a word dump sry

word count: 5.8k (sigh this was supposed to be 2k words max)

click on my masterlist for more & merry christmas to those who celebrate!

it’s december 19th when satoru gojo tells you that he has a mission just for you. you’re less than ecstatic about it to say the least. the last thing you want to do is be sent to your death just shy of christmas day. you just want to rest your sore muscles and bask in the presence of your best friends. you’re not in the mood to kill any curses, mainly because you’ve just recovered from a previous mission.

“why me?” you groan.

gone are the days where you used to be a goody two shoes for satoru. you’re old enough to talk back now, not like when you had been a shy fifteen-year-old girl. besides, you’ve been around the silver-haired sorcerer long enough to know that he doesn’t mind the bite.

“sorry, kid,” satoru says with a shrug. at least he sounds genuine about it. “the higher ups requested for you specifically. they say you’ll get the job done in the cleanest way. we can’t have things getting messy before the holidays, right?”

“and you wouldn’t be the best choice?” you quip.

satoru only laughs. he ruffles your hair. even with your growth spurt and merciless training, he still towers over you. in a way, he’ll always be your mentor. “hey, i’m going out of town that weekend. give me a break.”

you huff petulantly. something about this mission seems fishy to you. you’re not nearly the strongest sorcerer out of the bunch of kids under satoru’s wings (not that you guys are kids anymore, but sometimes it’s hard to feel otherwise). hell, there’s the kyoto students. it feels like they never have to do anything. you wish that you were rebellious enough to chew utahime out for it.

“why couldn’t they just make yuta or megumi go?” you mutter under your breath. you stammer out megumi’s name and hope satoru doesn’t catch on to the way you can barely say it.

satoru knows about the breakup. why wouldn’t he? he’s basically megumi’s dad, even if the raven haired boy refuses to admit it. satoru’s six eyes mean you can’t hide anything from him (he’d been the first to know that megumi was head over heels for you).

satoru raises a brow. “oh, right. megumi’s coming along too.”

your face twists and you immediately whip around to glare at him. “you’re lying.”

“i wish,” he jokes. “i was really hoping i’d get a wedding invitation one day, you little rascal. i can’t believe you two broke up. maybe this’ll be a good thing!”

“i appreciate your honesty, but—”

“but megumi’s an emotionally constipated kid, yeah, that i know,” satoru laughs. he makes his way to the exit of his office which has you furrowing your brows. is your former teacher actually gonna just leave after making you come all the way here? how rude and so very in character of him.

“please, gojo,” you call out after him, “i don’t wanna go with him.”

“sucks for you,” satoru responds halfheartedly. “merry christmas. try not to take more than a week on this. you’ll have to pay the rest of the fee for accommodations if you do.”

“gojo!” you whine.

“it’s not a hard mission!” satoru insists like it’ll make your life any easier. “y’know, this time of year is when things get ugly. think of it as saving as many people as you can while putting in the least amount of effort!”

and then he teleports. your former teacher teleports away rather than being normal and walking out of the door. you roll your eyes and hope that he can sense it (you know he can’t).

so that’s why you’re here now. with your ex. on the elevator to your assigned room on the tenth floor. you’re so glad that it’s a normal hotel and not a love hotel. lord knows what you’d do if you had checked into a love hotel.

megumi hasn’t spoken a word to you since he broke up with you two weeks ago. it had been in the doorway to your apartment a few days after a particularly rough mission assigned to the both of you—the one you’re still recovering from. he’d pulled you in for a hug, whispering sweet words into your ear. he gave you a look, one of those looks that made him soften his usually sharp eyes.

“i think we should break up.”

and then came the pathetic whimper of yours. he had wiped your tears, even kissed them tenderly, before telling you that it wasn’t your fault—it was his. how cliche.

now as you stand next to him, you want to beat yourself up for not asking for closure. neither of you had explicitly stated that you two were going to be no-contact, but it hurts a lot less to push the idea of forever with megumi away to the back of your mind. besides, you two aren’t confrontational like that. not with each other, anyway.

“need help?” his tone is soft, tender—the tone he reserves specifically for you, the one that tells you he still cares.

you stare down at the luggage at your feet. you’ve always been a chronic overpacker, a habit that megumi knows of by now. he watches you curiously, hands itching at his sides. you can tell that he wants to reach out and grab your suitcase like he always does. he thinks he isn’t obvious, but you can always read through the lines, especially when it’s megumi.

“i’m okay,” you croak out, clearing your throat awkwardly.

the elevator dings and you make your way to your room. as much as you hate to admit it, you’re sort of glad that you and your ex boyfriend are sharing a room. perhaps his’ll be a good way to get closure, though you’re not really sure what closure entails.

what you don’t expect is to unlock the door and be met with a singular bed.

if satoru gojo didn’t have a layer of infinity coating his body (and if he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive), you would’ve wrung out his neck.

megumi simply walks into the room, setting his duffel bag down on one of the dressers opposite from the foot of the bed. he doesn’t comment on the lack of double beds, seemingly already aware of the set up.all he does is puff out a weary sigh. you suck in a breath and follow him inside, slipping your shoes off at the entrance.

you lug your suitcase in after you along with your duffel bag and backpack. you stumble forward and megumi’s arm snakes around your waist, steadying you.

“careful,” he mutters, nonchalantly taking your bag off our your shoulders.

it’s a quick series of movements; he swings your bag over his shoulders and places it on the dresser next to the one he’s claimed while guiding you softly to the side of the bed so that you’re not standing in the middle of the doorway.

you scrunch your face, feeling your heart thump against your ribcage. it’s stupid how he still has such a hold on you, even after two weeks of not seeing or talking to him. he’s just so caring, so gentle. it stings, like little the little cuts you get when fighting curses, when you realize that this is something you’ll have to learn how to lose.

“thanks,” you manage to mutter. you don’t trust yourself to say anything else. you know from the way your throat tightens that you’ll be crying soon if you force yourself to talk any more.

“i can take the couch,” megumi says.

it’s that easy with him; he’s a gentleman, so of course he’d take the couch. that’s the way megumi fushiguro is—he offers a solution before you even have the chance to complain. in your year and a half long relationship, that skill of his had been a saving grace.

“no, don’t bother,” you croak. “i’ll book another room.”

“really?” he asks. he stands up a little straighter, awkwardly reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “i mean, i don’t mind sharing a room with you… we’ve..”

we’ve shared a room countless of times before.

megumi doesn’t have to continue his sentence for you to understand what he’s implying. you part your lips to speak, but nothing comes out except for a long, heavy sigh. your shoulders drop as you let the exhaustion seep into your bones. there’s no use arguing about it, not when you don't’ mind sharing a room with megumi, either.

“we’ve broken up,” you remind him in a quiet voice, like you’re afraid saying it out loud will make it truer than it already is.

megumi pauses. you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “i know that, but … it’ll be fine. we’ve shared a room as friends before.”

he’s right, like he usually is. you two have shared a room before as just friends, but that had been as teenagers—back when you both harbored such hardcore crushes on each other that you two somehow didn’t notice.

“right,” you find yourself agreeing with a small nod.

“you should go get ready for bed.” megumi begins grabbing a few or the decorative pillow off of the bed. he places them gingerly on the brown couch tucked in the corner of the hotel room. “we’ll be getting up pretty early to deal with the brunt of the mission.”

to finish this mission as quickly as possible, you think.

and so you oblige and head to the bathroom. it’s december 19th, just a few days shy of christmas day, and you’re in bed with your ex boyfriend on the couch just a few feet away.

december 20th greets you with megumi hovering over you. he peers down at you with his messy bangs covering his eyes. they’re piercingly blue as he blinks. his lashes flutter perfectly, even in the early morning. your eyes meet his and you jolt awake.

“good morning,” he says. “your alarm has been ringing for a bit now, so i turned it off.”

you blink rapidly, getting the tiredness out of your eyes. “oh.”

he chuckles softly, just enough for you to catch it with your ears. he rises from his crouched position and heads to the front door. he spares you a glance over his shoulder before he heads out, presumably giving you the privacy you need. you let out a strangled breath before you swing your legs over the bed and head to the bathroom.

by the time you’re finished putting on your uniform, you swing the door to your hotel room open and see megumi leaned up against the wall, tapping away on his phone. his dark blue eyes flicker up to you and he turns away to head down the hall.

you furrow your brows. you can’t help but think that he’s being a little cold to you. it isn’t like you initiated the breakup. despite your frustration with his behavior, you can sort of understand why he wouldn’t want to be sweet around you; you two aren’t dating anymore and so it makes sense that he’d go back to being aloof in your presence, the usual way he acts around everyone else. losing that position in his life makes your stomach churn for reasons you’re less than willing to uncover.

your mission is a vague one; all you know is that it’s a clean-up mission. rather than a level 1 curse (or even a special grade), the mission consists of an acclimation of weak curses surrounding shinjuku. these missions are normally given to younger, more inexperienced sorcerers with the help of a senior sorcerer, but for an odd reason, it’s been given to you and megumi this year. megumi could’ve probably handled it himself. actually, you could’ve handled it yourself.

you bite your tongue to hold back on your complaints as you walk just a step behind megumi. he pauses regularly, waiting for you to catch up to his side. you roll your eyes in secret. does he not realize that you don’t want to walk next to him?

“it’s all just bars,” you mutter.

with that, you earn a tiny laugh from megumi. “well, yeah. this is the red-light district of shinjuku.”

you pale. “this sucks.”

“why do you think i wanted to come out here in the morning rather than at night?” he says, his tone strangely light.

“to deal with the brunt of the mission,” you repeat his words from last night sarcastically. you’re unsure as to what he’s talking about, so you think that it’s okay to give him a little bit of attitude.

he raises his brow but doesn’t comment on your sarcasm. instead, he says softly, “no, stupid. it’s because this is the red-light district. it’s unsafe for anyone, especially a pretty, young girl alone at night.”

your first thought is to coo and tease him. you think i’m pretty? it takes you half a second to remember that you two are broken up. you scoff, “i’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”

“i never said you weren’t,” megumi shoots back. “it would just be annoying explaining to the higher ups why you were fighting people and not curses.”

“i’m sure they’d understand,” you retort, frowning. you cross your arms.

“don’t be so pouty,” he says in that stupid, gentle tone he uses with you when you’re acting bratty.

you both decide to split up. well, it’s more like you demand the two of you to split up. you say it under the pretense that it’ll get the job done faster. besides, you both want to be home before christmas day, right?

there’s about two curses you cross paths with every hour. you’re starting to lose your mind. shouldn’t the streets be infested with them? you don’t even need a veil! all you have to do is give the weak curses just one punch and they vaporize on the spot. your head is running with hundreds of thoughts.

that’s when it hits you: the first years at the tokyo jujutsu school did come out here a week prior! maybe they did a bad job? but you remember nobara had been the one to lead the group. she may half-ass almost everything in her life, but she wouldn’t jeopardize her underclassmen for the sake of her freetime.

so why on earth are you here? it’s not like there are enough harmful curses for a mission to be assigned to you right before christmas, and to you and megumi of all sorcerers. you’re both strong enough to the point of having some kind of importance in the jujutsu world. the higher ups wouldn’t send the two of you on some stupid mission for the sake of it unless they’re planning some sort of secret execution. but even then, satoru gojo should’ve known through their lies to not send you or megumi. unless…he wants you two dead…?

you shake your head and bite your nails. the sun begins to set and you realize that you’ve been out here for longer than you expected. you’re starting to feel a chill in your bones—you had argued petulantly with megumi earlier about not wanting to wear your jacket despite it being the dead of winter; “it’s gonna get in the way!”

you always seem to forget the the sun sets earlier in the winter. it’s stupid how bright all the lights are in shinjuku. there isn’t a square foot of anything that isn’t lit up with neon signs reading out the names of clubs and bars. you see couples and large groups of people walking along the streets.

it’s lonely, you realize. it would’ve been less lonely with megumi.

you make your way to the meeting spot with megumi. you both share a few small words before retiring for the night. megumi says he wants to go sightseeing, even though there’s really nothing much to see. he doesn’t return to the hotel room until late at night.

when he slips into the only bed that the room offers, you chalk it up to the slight alcohol you smell on his lips. it feels so natural that you don’t push him away even though you should. his body is warm and you fit so perfectly against his broad chest that you think it’ll be okay for you to be a little selfish tonight.

“g’night,” megumi mumbles in his sleep.

you smile and nuzzle closer.

it’s december 21st as you realize how late it is in the day. megumi is back on the couch. you feel a tinge of disappointment in the bottom of your stomach.

to no one’s surprise, the sun is barely peeking over the buildings when you’re finally back in the red-light district. you’re doing the last bit of cleanup, but there’s really nothing much for you to clean.

tomorrow, you’ll be heading to a shopping mall, so you suppose you should do your best to sniff out the rest of the curses littering the place unless you want to stay here an extra day. the day is, yet again, slow.

it’s nearing 8 PM and you're finally sure that you’ve gotten rid of all the curses in the general area. you’ve been done for quite a while now, but you just haven’t found the courage to let megumi know that you’re ready to go back to the hotel room. a little sightseeing on your end wouldn’t hurt, right?

“hi, pretty.” a gravelly voice, battered by cigarettes, whispers in your ear.

you jump in surprise. you need to remember not to get too far into your head. you should’ve felt his presence coming from a mile away. it’s a terrible habit and satoru has scolded you for years about it.

“hi,” you mutter, pushing past his larger frame.

the man isn’t as nicely built as the men you know (but then again, your friends are jujutsu sorcerers, so it’s kind of hard to beat that), but he still towers over you. he’s got a squad of rough-looking guys behind him, smirking down at you.

“why’s someone like you alone?” he says, shoving his arm to loop around your waist.

you roll your eyes, getting ready to punch the man square in the nose. will you get in trouble? probably yes. will it be a funny story to tell? also probably yes.

“don’t touch my wife.”

the group of men turn their heads along with you to see megumi. his expression is shrouded with a mixture of anger and frustration. you blink in confusion—megumi usually looks pretty pissed off, but this is the most angry you’ve seen him in a while. and ‘wife’? what’s up with that?

“oh, my bad,” the man chuckles. “didn’t know this pretty thing was married.”

“this ‘pretty thing’ wants you to let her go,” you say with an overly sweet smile. your teeth clench and you hiss, “right now.”

the guy scurries down the sidewalk with his buddies trailing along, making fun of him for hitting on a married woman. nobody mentions the lack of a ring on your finger. nobody mentions the lack of a relationship, either.

“wife?” you scowl. “we’re broken up.”

“guys tend to back up when they know a woman is married. it’s the only way you can really, uh, get them to go away around here.”

you glare at him. “and how would you know? you come here often with girls?”

“...no?” he blinks, unable to comprehend your sudden burst of jealousy. “i sometimes get missions around here, though. pretending to be married was the easiest way—”

“we aren’t, though. we’re not even in a relationship.” you seem to be throwing that into his face a lot more than you should. you can’t help it, though. you still feel a little bitter about not getting a real reason as to why megumi wanted to break up.

“i was trying to help you.” he’s calm and collected, as heard through his voice. he walks up to you and takes your freezing hand into his much warmer ones. “let’s go home.”

“i don’t want to,” you argue.

“stop being a brat,” he says, but there’s no bite to his words. “you’re cold and you’ve been out here all day. if i hadn’t stopped those guys, you probably would’ve beat them up pretty badly.”

“i’m not a fucking brat!” you try to retract your hand, but megumi’s grip only tightens.

“baby, stop,” the pet name rolls off his tongue with ease. megumi sighs softly and pulls you to his chest. “why are you so worked up, hm?”

from the way he speaks, you can tell that he already has an inkling. the breakup. cuddling last night. hugging you now. everything.

you don’t realize you’re crying until he gently wipes his thumb under your eye. he has the audacity to have an amused grin plastered on his stupidly pretty lips. your vision is blurry but if it hadn’t been, you would’ve thrown a punch.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “it’s all my fault.”

“it is,” you whimper pathetically. all the tears and the emotions you’ve been holding back bubble up to the surface.

“don’t be upset,” he almost pleads. “let’s go back, okay?”

the night ends with megumi on the couch. neither of you bring up the argument or the fact that he had slept in your bed with you last night. you two don’t talk about the usage of pet names, either.

when you open your eyes on december 22nd, you’re surprised to see that megumi has already headed out for the day. you click your tongue in annoyance—he’s always been good at avoiding his problems when it comes to dealing with them, especially problems involving his emotions. you already know where you’re supposed to be headed, so you suppose that it’s for the best that he’d left before you.

the shopping mall is a long line of vendors and stores among other things. the snow on the ground is fresh—it must’ve snowed late last night after you’d fallen asleep. it crunches underneath your beat-up sneakers with each step you take. you’re not shocked when you end up wandering aimlessly, dipping in and out of stores with no real urgency to finish your mission.

there’s nothing to do anyway.

you’ve killed about 3 curses total and it’s really starting to look like you’ve been sent out here for busy work. you really should’ve figured that out the first day of the mission when you had to practically beg the curses to come out and fight you.

you find yourself in the front of a jewelry store, eyeing a pretty bracelet that you know would look stunning around megumi’s wrist. it’s one of those bracelets that clasp tightly. there’s a thicker band in the center with pretty carvings that seem to resemble some sort of swirly heart. it’s pretty, you have to admit.

without much thought, you buy the gift.

the seller has to clear her throat to get your attention when you don’t answer her question. “um, would you like this to be wrapped?”

you nod absentmindedly. “oh, yes. sorry. please wrap it.”

she nods in return and proceeds to wrap the bracelet in a tiny box, adorning it with a festive bow. you ask her to change it out for a different color, explaining that it isn’t a christmas gift and instead, it’s for someone’s birthday. she offers you a warm smile before switching it with a muted blue ribbon.

you return to the hotel, having to take an expensive taxi. you don’t mind—the bracelet has already made a decent-sized dent in your wallet. why not spend an extra amount on getting home? it’s not like jujutsu sorcerers are paid poorly.

reality hits you when you finally get back to the hotel room. you want to punch yourself for being so stupid. did you really just buy a birthday present for your ex-boyfriend?

you’re thankful that megumi hasn’t arrived yet. he seems to be determined to avoid you for as long as he can. you can’t blame him, either. you did give him quite a hard time yesterday.

you toss the box on to the dresser and head to the bathroom to splash some much needed cold water on to your face. maybe that’ll wake you up enough to clear your mind. you’ve acted out once during this trip already and you’re not really looking forward to any other possible outbursts.

you rinse your face and pat yourself dry with one of the face towels provided to you by the hotel staff. you hang it over the rack again and tiredly make your way to your bed. you halt your movements when you see megumi standing by the dresser, admiring your gift.

he looks up at you in surprise with the smallest grin on his face. it’s so subtle that you would’ve missed it had you not been dating him for nearly two years.

“is this for me?”

“no,” you quickly deny. his face falls and you cough out, “um, i mean.. yeah. i-i didn’t… i… happy birthday.”

he brightens, lips pulling up into a real, genuine smile. “you remembered?”

“why wouldn’t i?” you blurt gently. you bite your inner cheek to stop yourself from saying anything more.

“i dunno.” his voice is distant and low, like he’s trying to hold back his tears. “i just…i didn’t think i was deserving of a gift from you. thank you. i like it.”

you stand awkwardly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “yeah, well…”

“can you help me put it on?” he asks, sitting at the edge of your unmade bed.

you feel your body heat up. part of you screams for you to stop. you shouldn’t do that. it’s far too intimate and you two are broken up. you’ve never been good at making decisions, though, so you sit next to him and feel the mattress dip.

he gives you a grateful look, one that you willfully ignore, and gives you his wrist. you clasp the bracelet on, fingertips just barely grazing his skin. your heart skips a beat and you have to inhale sharply before pulling away.

“thank you,” he whispers.

december 23rd is a sore reminder that life goes on. you had half-expected something to spark between you and megumi. perhaps he’d beg for you back, or maybe with less wishful thinking, he’d give you his real reason as to why he doesn’t want you anymore.

“i don’t think we need to go anymore,” megumi says when you come out of the bathroom after freshening up.

“huh? why not?”

“there’s nothing out there.” megumi’s voice is flat.

“i know, but we’ll get in trouble if we…”

“gojo probably sent us out here for fun.”

your lips part. megumi turns to you with a slight frown.

“don’t you think so too?” he asks, but you know it isn’t a question he’s looking to find an answer to. “why would the higher-ups assign a mission like this to a special grade sorcerer and a grade 1 sorcerer? if they needed that much manpower, this mission would’ve been deadlier. instead, we’re playing cleanup crew.”

“yeah, but..” you trail off, unable to think of a statement to refute his words. “if we go back now, we’ll get chewed out.”

“it’s just a scolding. you’ll be fine.” megumi stands up and stretches his arms.

you watch him cautiously as he begins to fold his clothes and throw them into his duffel bag. he doesn’t say anything else, letting the silence overtake the room.

“...are we leaving, then?” you ask meekly, not bothering to hide the slight quiver in your voice.

he pauses slightly. “do you want to stay here until christmas? this mission is stupid and you know it. there’s no point.”

why is his tone so cold all of the sudden? it’s as if you two hadn’t shared a moment last night before bed. does your gift not mean anything to him now that he’s cleared his mind with a good rest?

your eyes flicker to his wrist. the gold glimmers underneath the light and you realize that megumi doesn’t seem to hate wearing it. so why is he acting so … unpleasant?

you feel a lump in your throat. it’s embarrassing how quickly he’s able to upset you from just the tone of his voice. even his body language, usually fluid and smooth, is rigid with your presence. you want to tell him that you’ve enjoyed your time with him. you want to shake his shoulders and tell him that if you two cut your mission short, you might not get another chance to be near him again.

“do you still care about me?” you whisper instead.

he stills completely. “what?”

“this entire time,” you begin shakily, “you’ve been nice to me. you treat me like you always do. you’re always hovering over me even though you pretend you aren’t! you obviously still care, megumi.”

his adam's apple bobs as swallows. a beat of silence. then two. then three.

“i do care,” he admits sorely.

“then why did you break up with me?” you blurt. there it is, the question you’ve been meaning to ask. you both had seen it coming.

“because…” megumi winces as if he’s the one getting hurt from the ordeal. “because you deserve someone that’s normal. someone that isn’t a sorcerer. i can’t give you that life.”

you feel your chest swarm with anger. why does he always think he needs to sabotage himself to make others happy? this is something you’ve tried working with him on, but it seems like old habits are hard to kill off, just like your habit of loving him.

“why the hell would you decide that for me? when did i ever say i wanted a normal life?” you snap. your hands clench at your sides.

“it’s too early for this,” he says, his voice straining as he finally musters up the strength to look at you in your eyes.

“tell me, megumi. if that’s the real reason, then that is the most pathetic excuse for a breakup i've ever heard.” your voice cracks and you gulp down the oncoming sob that’s threatening to explode from your throat.

he inhales slowly and makes his way to you, holding you close against his chest. you should push him away, but you would rather let him hug you. you know that you can’t fight him, anyway.

“you…once said you wanted a regular relationship. when you got hurt a few weeks ago, i realized i couldn’t be that for you,” he confesses lowly. “i knew that you’d never find it in yourself to leave, so i figured i should just let you go for your sa–”

“are you kidding me?” you shout incredulously. “i said that when i was fifteen, megumi! before i even knew what being in love was like!”

he flinches against you. “but i…”

“you and your damn savior complex! i don’t need to be in a regular, normal relationship! i don’t need any of that, megumi! i’m a sorcerer, I won't ever get to be normal! in fact, it’s even better that i’m with you because you at least know what this life is like, you idiot! you’re always ruining the good things in your life because you—”

he takes his fingers to grab your chin and he pulls you in for a kiss. if the kiss is a ploy to shut you up, you hate to admit that it’s working. his tongue slips into your mouth and you melt against him. your arms loop around his neck as you desperately drag him down closer to your body. his hand grip your waist while the other clings to the small of your back.

you whimper out of instinct and he pulls away, lips bruised and breathless. it’s been so long since you’ve tasted him and you frown, tiptoeing to capture his lips again. you need to savor him, to feel him lips against yours again.

“baby, wait.” his chest heaves as he looks down at you. “don’t…don’t do this to me.”

“do what?” you ask, an edge to your voice. did he just reject you? even after all that?

“w-we gotta report back to—”

“we’re supposed to leave tomorrow,” you interrupt.

the gears shift in his head. “fine, but—”

“i’m still really fucking mad, but i just need you to kiss me right now,” you whine impatiently.

all megumi does is laugh when he swoops down to press his lips against yours.

it’s december 24th when you two find yourselves in satoru’s office. steam is practically rising from your ears as you try to compose yourself in front of your former teacher.

“... i wanted a wedding invitation.” satoru shrugs.

“you set us up!” you whine angrily. “gojo, are you serious?! isn’t this a little immature?”

megumi stays silent, averting his gaze. he suddenly finds the succulents on satoru’s desk very interesting. he’s never noticed that they’re all nearly dead! how cool.

your eyes shoot daggers at megumi's silence.

"we aren't gonna get married any time soon..." megumi mutters when he feels your pointy glare on him.

satoru raises his hands in mock surrender. “you two can’t blame me! it worked out! you two are back together now, right?”

“but did you have to make us look like fools out there?” you groan.

“you should’ve figured it out on the first day that the mission was a sham!” satoru exclaims, offense taking over his features.

“but still!” you’re borderline hysterical at this point, unable to believe that your former teacher of all people had to set up an entire fake mission so that you and your ex could talk your feelings out. “we would’ve figured ourselves out sooner or later!”

megumi nods. he feels like he should at least give you a little support even if he’s embarrassed out of his mind.

“oh really?” satoru’s voice drips with sarcasm. “you guys should be thanking me—”

“you’re so not getting an invitation to our wedding!” you grumble.

“wha—hey! i’m the one that got you two back together! besides, i’m megumi’s guardian! you can’t just not invite me.”

“watch me!”

“megumi, tell her that she can’t do that—hey! where are you guys going? invite me, you rascals—why are you guys leaving? we aren’t done discussing this! megumi, don’t you dare take her side! she isn’t even your wife yet—don’t slam my door!”

#jjk x reader #jjk x you #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #megumi x you #fushiguro megumi x reader #jjk megumi #megumi fluff #not my best work tbh

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kcrossvine-art · 4 months

Text

hi birds of paradise and of prey! I sincerely hope your 2024 has been kind to you so far, and if it hasn't, I hope it starts being fucking nicer soon. We got eyes on it and are ready to take it out should it fail.

I'm coming to the end of my list here soon, so if anyone has ideas on what they'd like to see next, please do hit me up! Even if its just a piece of media with interesting food in it and not a specific dish you wanna see. My roommate got me a recipe book from that TikTok fantasy tavern guy, "recipes from the lucky gryphon"? So we could also take a shot at a few of those, although im not really familiar with his work. Regardless-

We will be making Stuffed Cabbage from Lord of the Rings Online today!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to this Stuffed Cabbage?” YOU MIGHT ASKYou cant kinda put whatever you want for seasonings and even the meat filling. I used ground beef but pork and lamb are also stellar candidates.

Yellow onion

Garlic

2 eggs

Ground beef

Rice

A head of cabbage

Oregano

Thyme

Red pepper flakes

Cumin

Crushed tomato

Tomato sauce

AND, “what does this Stuffed Cabbage taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKBa bawsa

Very, very filling wow

2 rolls filled me up for a meal and i made about 20-ish from one head of cabage

A bit plain tbh, the texture is great but I'd really double up on the seasonings

A blank canvas for you to impart your spice preferences onto

Reheating makes it taste almost identical to fresh

Would pair well with a hot sauce dip

could also go well with an artichoke dip

If you run out of room and need to layer the rolls, I'd try experimenting with pouring some of the crushed tomato and sauce inbetween the stacked rolls. Otherwise the ones at the bottom lack a lot of the tomato flavor. However it might make the bottoms on the rolls laying ontop soggy?

. Where rice called for, used long grain white rice

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I've never blanched anything before. Theres not much western food that calls for it, meanwhile whenever my friend from malaysia shows a dish they ate, 9 times out of 10 the vegetables are blanched. Much easier process than the fancy name might suggest- boil water and dunk the thing in until its done. Whatever 'done' may be for the thing you are cooking.

Also for the ground beef (or whichever meat you use) you don't have to cook it beforehand, but in doing two tries at making these cabbage rolls i would recommend you at least season your meat before mixing it with everything else. The meat will cook to a safe temperature inside the cabbage rolls, i just prefer the taste and texture of it when cooked twice.

I give this recipe a meandering 7/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) I want to review more horrible recipes, truly i do, so that the rating scale isnt always a 6 and above, but whenever i try something horrible its like "why the fuck would i put all the effort into making and sharing a review of this thing i Do Not Want others to eat????" yknow?? Would people be interested in roasting horrible recipes?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

1 yellow onion

6 cloves of garlic

2 eggs

2 lbs ground beef

1 1/2 cup cooked rice

1 large head of cabbage

28oz crushed tomato

14oz tomato sauce

Oregano

Thyme

Red pepper flakes

Cumin

Salt/pepper

Method:

Saute garlic and onion in butter over medium heat until onions are caramelized. When done, remove from heat and let cool.

Season the beef to your liking with cumin, red pepper, and salt. Very, very lightly cook the beef in the same pan used for the garlic and onions. Cook until it starts to brown, but dont let it darken.

Beat eggs thoroughly with oregano, thyme, salt, and pepper.

Add all of the above ingredients together in a bowl with (cooked!) rice. Mix thoroughly then cover and let rest in the fridge.

Core and blanche your cabbage in boiling water, peeling them off as they become limp.

Once you've separated all the leaves, cut off any thick stems that would prevent the leaf from folding.

Put roughly 2 tablespoons of meat filling into each leaf. Fold the sides of the leaf inwards and roll it up. Place each cabbage roll seam-down into a casserole dish.

If they don't all fit in one layer, its more than okay to stack. Try not to stack more than 2 layers though.

Once you've used all the cabbage, take your can of tomatos and pour them over the rolls. Mix some oregano into the tomato sauce and pour that over the rolls as well.

Bake uncovered in the oven at 350 for about 2 hours. Dont worry if a bit of tomato on top looks burnt.

IF REHEATING LEFTOVERS: Bake 10 cabbage rolls in the oven at 320 for about 40 minutes. Reduce time for less rolls.

#cross cooks lotr #food recipes #cabbage rolls #digital art

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thechibilitwick · 3 months

Text

As an honorary Shidou apologist, I am breaking my silence. I’ve finally decided to go on a rant on why I don't think Kirisaki Shidou is an organ harvester.

(fair warning I like absolutely suck ass at organizing my thoughts, so if some of this is incoherent or if it seems like i'm repeating myself my bad 😭 I mainly wrote this for fun)

So, I'm aware that this theory is the most popular consensus when it comes to Shidou (and tbh, I think part of it is because a lot of people kinda look over him? Like at least a tiny bit more than the others, considering a lot of people also don’t realize how his main victim was probably his son and not his wife, but I digress) (plus I think all milgram characters are looked over to a certain extent). While I do think parts of it are probably accurate in some way, I don't think he was a full-on organ harvester (as in he actively stole from patients through illegal means. emphasis on actively) and that the theory in and of itself is flimsy at best. He's morally questionable, yes, but it’s more in the sense that he’s a somewhat apathetic guy who lacked understanding on how his own set of morals and values (i.e. pushing for organ donation) could be seen as wrong. So if he were an organ harvester, wouldn’t he be aware that it’s illegal? That’s what confuses me whenever people bring it up. I don't actually doubt that he may have done something illegal for his family's sake, it’s just that I still highly doubt it was something he actively did. And that seems to be what a lot of people think when they refer to the theory. (if i’m wrong please forgive me, i just assume organ harvester shidou = people think he did it as a job)

Anyways, more under the cut for those interested (it's a bit lengthy my apologies)

It then kinda trickles down to how his guilt stems more from the consequences of his actions rather than the actual action of taking organs. The root of his guilt comes from the realization that basically asking families to pull the plug and use their loved ones' organs for donation is a very, very hard decision; one that he kept pressuring for. If he was an illegal organ harvester, and was aware that his actions were in fact illegal, why the hell would he feel so guilty to the point that he’d start having suicidal ideations? That’s the key difference between his profession and his possible criminal activities; one is a burden both emotionally and morally, the other is more or less a literal burden. And based off of Shidou's character, he seems to be much more emotionally affected. That's also why I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that his guilt stems from his actual actions rather than their effects. (does that make sense oh lord i am going ☝️🤓 so hard rn)

I get that some parts of his MV or lyrics seem to be suggesting that, but also it’s important to note that Shidou has a very strong bias against himself and definitely painted himself in a negative light. I mean, that's why he thinks every single preceding patient before the final incident is a victim to him, why he shows himself staying professional in a professional setting as apathetic (minus the pressuring part), and why he literally equates his job to STEALING. Not only that but, imo, it's also a little too unrealistic and might not actually fit the criteria of Milgram. Milgram is for crimes that are in a morally grey area. So if it really was organ harvesting, is it really in a grey area? (though I guess you could say that doing it for family's sake would be, but that's only for his family. He'd have no reason to do it otherwise). Plus, it'd make more sense and fit the theme of touching upon social issues (i.e. abortion, bullying, societal standards, mental health, etc.) if shidou’s entire dilemma was in regards to (albeit questionably done) organ donation, a complicated ethical topic in Japan.

Throw Down actually gives a pretty good rough idea of Shidou's thoughts towards his crime and his feelings in regards to it. He felt like he was blinded by his own values, and that inadvertently caused him to be unaware of the suffering he caused through his job. It really does shock me that he somehow was able to pull-off getting a forgiven verdict in T1 because he certainly comes off as cold and uncaring in regards to his work.

I think the final bridge in Throw Down kinda summarizes his entire mindset, actually.

Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display Wishing you for someone else's sake With the same expression no matter who comes I don’t feel scared because I don’t know

Shidou doesn't quite understand the feelings of his patient's families, and therefore he acts remorseful and sympathetic more than he actually feels. Why? Well, because he didn't know. Up until that point, he never understood the weight of his actions, and focused on his role as a doctor. "This is an upsetting subject, yes, but it's for the greater good, right?” A braindead person has little to no chances of living, so why not use this as an opportunity to donate their organs? Moreover, as a doctor I believe it’s typical to be "emotionally detached” (for lack of a better word) since I’d assume becoming emotionally connected with a patient would make things at least a bit messy.

His mindset comes crumbling down though, presumably because he experienced the same or a similar situation. This part remains muddy for me, since we don't know much about what the actual cause for Shidou's guilt is. There are several possibilities, with the most plausible ones being:

he lost his own family member and had to go through with the same decision,

he tried to save a family member using donated organs, but failed, making it seem like everything he has done as a doctor was in vain

(a secret third option would be him making someone he cares about make that decision but it's very unlikely and also requires too much mental gymnastics)

But no matter what exactly he did, it all trickles down to the validity of his morals. After realizing the pain of losing a loved one, the struggle of trying to save them, and the unfortunate failure which left all efforts practically pointless, Shidou would understand the actual weight of his actions and why all those families were so reluctant to let go of their own.

This is even more evident in his T2 voice drama, Asclepius.

"In order to save the life of someone you don't know, please let me kill your family," I told them. It doesn't even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn't realize it until the very end.

This is the gist of Shidou's crime, or at least part of it (considering he says "Well, about halfway" when Es asks if their judgment was right). Again, this tells us that Shidou's guilt comes from the act of the effects of organ donation rather than the literal action. And this also implies that his "murders" did in fact have to do with being in a medical situation, it's just the way he went about it was at the very least morally questionable.

I will also acknowledge that he says he killed for selfish reasons, which most likely relates to trying to save his own family member. Here he could possibly have actually done something illegal such as tampering with patients or illegally taking their organs (latter is a stretch imo). Plus, his distorted T2 voice trailer line is literally "You're in the way, hurry up and die" which would only make sense in the context of waiting for a patient to die. But it could also just be him continuing to pressure for organ donation, but now with his own selfish motives.

Going back to the "halfway" comment, while I personally believe it might have to do with how Shidou views his crime as more than just taking organs, it more likely implies that something else happened that Shidou would consider murder. That being the actual death of his family member. It's implied through Throw Down that he was trying to save someone but failed, which he was responsible for. Then from there it'd make sense to assume that he would feel some form of guilt for the rest of his patients, either for the reason of failing to actually utilize donated organs even with the opportunity of being able to save them, or for just realizing the what it actually feels like to have to give up on your loved one. (does. does that make any sense.)

So yeah, I don’t think he’s an organ harvester due to what’s known regarding his crime, the reasoning for his guilt, and with the way he is as a character. The most I’d personally believe is that he decided to harvest organs for the sake of his loved one, but even that seems like a stretch to me. Thus, that is why I believe Kirisaki Shidou is not an organ harvester.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough, thank you for reading if you did and remember to drink water and vote shidou innocent in trial 3 because i will shit my pants if he doesn't get inno

#milgram #shidou kirisaki #kirisaki shidou #milgram analysis #everyone point and laugh at me for writing so much #i am so terrified i said something wrong like if i did then strike me dead #kirisaki shidou DESTROYED MY LIFE #i love the pathetic failure doctor #i swear on my life he'll get 3 innos no matter what #shidou i am begging you do not pull out some bs that'll make you seem less favorable than you already are #chibi's ramblings

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bugs1nmybrain · 9 months

Text

"You're Not a Burden" - Aizawa x Reader Emotional Support Smut

Emotional support sex with Aizawa won the poll!! I'm actually relieved because I haven't written any Aizawa content in months. I've missed him so much. This guy is probably the only morally healthy character I write for tbh haha. I hope you all enjoy this!

MDNI (18+)

Warnings: NSFW, fem reader, age gap (reader is in early 20s), mentions of rejection-sensitive trauma, mentions of imbalanced family dynamics, reader was kicked out of her parent's house, unprotected sex, reader kinda has an emotional breakdown after bottling up her stress for weeks, vanilla for the most part, fingering, sleepy sex, use of the pet name "kitten", maybe this counts as pet play to some extent; Shouta pets readers hair and body and calls her kitten. Reader also is described as "mewling" while moaning, but it's not explicit pet play, soft Aizawa, Aizawa questions if the sex is ethical but it's not nonconsensual, POV swings, dry humping, dacryphilia, missionary, aftercare, not proofread yet

Finally, you had finished moving your belongings into Shouta's apartment. It didn't take as long as expected. You were similar to Shouta in the sense that you prioritized what to keep and what to leave behind. You definitely had more things than him as he was the very definition of a minimalist, but when you were packing up you figured that some things were worth sacrificing for the sake of relief.

The last few weeks have been absolutely horrible. You never pictured that moving out of your parent's house would be such a rattling experience. This was supposed to be a right of passage, but you were obligated to leave instead. You had spent your whole life being the enabler of your parents' abusive behavior, always making excuses for them. You told yourself you deserved it and that you owed it to them to stay and take care of the house. After all, they sacrificed so much for you.

It became too much. Eventually, after over 20 years of being pushed around and taken advantage of, you gave up. You blew up at them, furious and frustrated about how they would treat you all your life. Unfortunately, they didn't take it well. You were kicked out and sent on your mary way.

Moving out wasn't relieving in the slightest, because now you shouldered the burden of moving in with Shouta. He was always a supportive boyfriend, as distant as he seemed to others. You tried your hardest not to vent too much, knowing that he had two very mentally taxing jobs. He was also a very logical person, often disregarding his own feelings to do what needed to be done. You didn't want to annoy him with your drama.

You were truly grateful to him for letting you move in. He definitely didn't have to, but maybe he felt like he didn't have a choice. It made you feel guilty, to take up his space. What did he even think about all this? Aizawa wasn't technically a parent, but he took care of children himself. Were you an entitled brat in his eyes? Would he see this from the perspective of your parents? You supposed the fact that he offered you a place to live suggested otherwise, but you had some tingling sensation that he saw you as a burden.

As soon as all your boxes were in his apartment, you started to arrange your belongings in their newfound proper places. You felt a little out of position, though. There were some items that you were unsure of where to put. You stood in Shouta's room with some personal manga in your hand, not knowing where it belonged. You felt paralyzed, feeling as though you were invading his space.

Aizawa approaches the door to his, well, both of your room, noticing your rigid stance. A dozed-off glance plastered your face and you looked as stiff as a rod. He places his hand on the doorframe and breathes heavily. The sigh in his voice startles you, and you turn to face away from him.

"Sorry."

"For what? You know, you could take a break if you wanted," Aizawa suggests.

"Oh, I don't know. I just figured it would be easier to get this done with as quick as I could."

"I can understand that logic. You've been doing this for a while, though. It would probably do you some favors to settle down for a moment."

Your hand that held your book falls to your side, and you continue to stand without knowing what to really do with yourself. Shouta steps toward you and takes the book, which makes you tense up. He notices and makes sure to be more gentle in his tone so as to not cause more anxiety for you.

"It can go here," Shouta gestures to a shelf behind you, that didn't have too many books on it already. Just a couple of teacher instruction books, that weren't even read as Aizawa tended to rely on his intuition when teaching rather than traditional methods. You give him a small smile that is only half genuine. Shouta motions a "come here" with his fingers and leads you to sit on the bed.

You comply, sitting beside him with your distraught face. You looked completely desensitized, unable to really express much emotion.

"Are you hungry?" Shouta asks with his phone in his hand. He had already pulled up a delivery app, waiting to hear what you wanted.

"Yea."

"What would you like?"

Honestly, you felt guilty to put in any opinion. He was already offering his home to you, now offering food. You felt...spoiled? Overly privileged?

"I don't know. Anything you want."

"You know I'm not picky about food. You're sure you don't know what you want?"

"I'm indecisive, I suppose."

Aizawa seems frustrated at your response, and you tense up again. You're terrified of upsetting him right now. You've upset enough people lately, you don't want to have to worry about him, too.

"Are you okay?" Aizawa asks in a low, sympathetic, monotone voice.

"Hm?"

"You seem a little out of it. What's going on?"

You can feel yourself choke when you think about it. What's actually going on. It was apparent that you had just moved out of your parents, and that would be stressful for anyone. There were negative feelings that came with it and honestly, you felt ashamed for them.

You feel rejected and unloved. At the same time, you felt like a bad person and like you have betrayed your parents. They were the people who've taken care of you all your life, how could you just drop out of their life all of a sudden? Maybe you shouldn't have done anything about the abuse. Maybe you should've just dealt with it and it would've gotten better with time. You knew that wasn't realistic, though.

"I...feel hopeless.."

You didn't expect it to roll off your tongue so quickly. You wanted to hold back now, to censor your feelings. Maybe if you bottled up yours you'd spare someone else's. But you couldn't. It came out, like a stream.

"I feel like I've done everything wrong. That I've ruined everything. I've lost people who I've loved for all my life, and I don't know if that relationship will ever repair. And now I'm here, and I love you, Shouta. But I feel like I'm going to wear out my welcome. I don't want to do that. I just want to be good for you, and to everyone. I keep fucking up, though, and I'm scared I'm going to fuck up some more."

Silence pierces the room for some moments. You're suffocating, holding back your tears, afraid to show any more vulnerability. Shouta doesn't say anything, but instead moves closer to your side, wraps his arm around you and cups your shoulder. He kisses your temple and runs his thumb along your shoulder, rubbing softly.

"Trust me when I say you've done nothing wrong. You did what you had to in order to save yourself any more psychological stress. You're also not the one who kicked yourself out. As for me, I'm glad that you're here. It's no bother for me for you to be living here. Sure, I expect that you'll pitch in with chores and other responsibilities, but you're not unwelcome here. This is your home, now. Please don't feel like you don't belong. I promise you, you're not a burden."

Your thighs were becoming wet from the tears that trickled from your eyes. Your head is down, trying to hide your crying face. Shouta notices that you aren't breathing, obviously because you're bottling up, and begins rubbing your back. The physical touch is overwhelming. Comforting, but also painful in a way. His support is so soothing, and you feel undeserving. As he said though, you had to trust that you weren't burdening him.

"Breathe.."

With a deep inhale, it all comes out. Your cry lets out, while you still maintain your volume, you could swear you were flooding the room with your tears. Like that one scene from Alice in Wonderland. You sniffles are so loud and you feel embarrassed. Shouta turns you to nuzzle into his chest as you cry, holding you snug and petting your hair. Your cries drench his shirt, and you can't help but still feel bad about yourself.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's alright, kitten," He gives you a kiss on the forehead and continues to hold onto you for dear life. "How about we lie down for a bit?"

You give him a soft nod and Shouta encourages you to lie down on the bed to rest. He moves in next to you and allows you to rest your head on his chest as he strokes your hair. Your cries deplete eventually, and you drift off into a slumber. Shouta follows suit soon after, and you both snuggle close into each other as you sleep.

---

You couldn't tell what time it was when you woke up, and frankly, you had no desire to know. Your head lifts from Shouta's chest, and you glance around to see the dark room, only illuminated by the window's moonlight. It was cold, so you snuggled closer to Shouta for warmth. You watch him as he sleeps, listening to his light snoring.

Gently, you run your fingers through his dark, thick hair and kiss his forehead. You attempt to be light so as to not wake him, but your attempts fail as he slowly begins fluttering his eyes open with a yawn.

"How are you feeling?" Shouta asks with care. He holds the back of your head and continues his petting treatment.

"I'm alright I think."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." You plop your head down on Shouta's chest again, finding comfort in his heartbeat and breathing. "Can I lay on you?"

Shouta chuckles, flattered by your cute request. He secretly loved it when you'd be clingy with him. Not in a psychological way, but physically. The way you would tug at his shirt when he held you and nuzzled your head on him made him feel protective. Like you relied on him. Of course, you were your own independent woman, and certainly weren't dependent on him, but knowing that you could come to him when you were feeling lonely, sad, or even just begging for his attention made his heart flutter in ways that he'd absolutely die if anyone other than you knew.

"Of course."

Slowly you crawl on top of him, resting your crotch in between one of his thighs. You lay your face in the crook of his neck and grabbed on his shirt. You breathed in his scent and felt a calming wash over you.

"Am I heavy?"

"You're fine."

The both of you drown in the silence, only interrupted by the crickets outside.

"I know things have been stressful for you, Y/N. I'm sorry. But if I can be a support in any way, don't hesitate to ask for help, okay?"

"Thank you."

There you went, nuzzling your face again. Shouta wasn't very verbal about how endearing you were to him; he'd never openly admit how cute you were to him. That didn't stop his eyes dilating and heart thumping whenever you'd do the most adorable things.

Wait. Why were you grinding on his thigh?

"Uh, are you okay?" Shouta asks, confused.

You whine out in frustration, continuing to grind.

"I'm horny."

Well, that was a surprise.

"Is that so?" Aizawa hums deeply in his chest, looking down to see you rubbing your crotch on his thigh, hugging him snug. "I thought you were sad."

"I am. I'm devastated. But I'm frustrated and I need some relief, badly."

"Do you think using sex as a coping mechanism is rational?" He scoffs.

"I don't know. I'm very pent up, though."

"Mmm, makes sense."

It wasn't like Shouta was against this. With your crotch up against his thigh, your right thigh also grazed his groin. He was doing a good job keeping himself at bay, it was something he was quite good at, actually. Shouta was a very respectful man toward women and while he was definitely dominant, it was often you who initiated sex between the two of you.

Obliging to your needs, Shouta begins adding to the friction between your cunt and his thigh. He lifted his thigh to hump your sex, eliciting a shocked whimper from you.

"Shh.."

Aizawa was almost worried about if this was ethical; pleasuring you while you were in a mentally distressed state. Perhaps it was a good thing, though. The positive attention and care would soothe you, allowing you peace of mind and the ability to relax. Maybe it would be a welcoming technique, to make you feel more comfortable and at home. Trying to rationalize everything was unnecessary at this point, though.

Shouta kisses your temple, continuing to rock his thigh on you. Though, he wasn't sure if his thigh would be an efficient source of orgasm by any means. He reaches down to your hips to pull down your panties from your skirt, dropping them beside you. He hadn't even realized his approaching erection due to your thigh pressing his cock. However, your desperation may have also been causing his reaction.

He dives his fingers in between your vulva, expecting you to be dry because of the lack of anything exciting happening. To his surprise, you were already wet and slobbery. He can feel his dick pumping harder at the notion of your need for him in this emotionally taxing time. Your lubricant would make this easier for him.

With you still lying on him, he trails his fingers along your wet cunt. He grazes that familiar bud on the upper part of your vulva, and you react so adorably that he may have leaked a little. He ignores his arousal for now, for the sake of yours. He runs his fingers up and down your clit, drawing out the prettiest mumbles from you. He goes in between stroking your clit to plunging his fingers into your wet heat. You're so hot inside, and very plushy. He curls his fingers for a couple of moments, which creates more lubricant from you, and more verbal reactions.

He pulls his fingers out, intending to save your insides for him later. Shouta rolls his fingers in circles along your clitoris in rhythm to your grinding movements. He hopes that he's doing well, but he must be, given your whiny mewls.

"Shouta.."

"Shh...you're alright, kitten."

His fingers become rougher, but more meticulous. He can feel your clit begin to pulse against his digits, and he can tell you're going to cum soon. Shouta uses his other hand to pet your head. The almost guiding attention makes your vagina clench and clitoris begin to feel great, and you can also feel your impending orgasm. Shouta goes faster with his fingers, practically pulling the orgasm out of you.

"Shouta...m'gonna cum..."

"I know. Go ahead, kitten. Let it all out."

Without much more time, your pussy twitches violently and you orgasm infects your body. It's overwhelming, but provides you with a comfort that puts you at peace. You moan loudly into his shirt, sending arousal to Shouta's cock. He rubs your clit a few times after your orgasm, soothing the stimulation that he could tell was very intense for you.

"Shouta, I want you inside of me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes...please...please."

Shouta gently takes you to turn you onto your back, lying your head carefully on the pillow. His heart skips a beat when he finally gets a look at your face, which is lit in the blue light of the moon. Your face was covered in tears, and your eyes were red from your crying. It looked like they must have stung.

"Y/N.."

"It's okay. Please, don't worry about that. I want you, Shouta."

He wants to protest, but as he opens his mouth he watches as your tears stream down more, and you continue to plea for him.

"Shouta, please."

"Okay."

Shouta pulls his sweatpants down his hips, springing out his large member. Shouta was humble about his size, but he worried that he might overwhelm you more. You wanted him, though. Needed him, you said. He wanted you to feel cared about, so he concedes.

Lining himself up to your entrance, the tip of his cock can feel the slick substance of your heat, and his cock swells in excitement. He hesitates for a moment but knows you'll only beg more. Shouta slowly sinks himself into your pussy, and immediately sighs at the warm, plush sensation of your insides. You take him well, your wetness allowing him to enter you without much resistance.

You felt so good, and your tears caused an emotion inside of Shouta that he couldn't really explain. It wasn't exactly arousing him that you were crying, but the sympathy he had for you triggered a protective instinct in him. A need to make you feel safe.

He begins thrusting in your warmth, moaning in a low mumble as he does so. Shouta was by no means a very verbal lover, but right now was different. Perhaps you were making him emotional now.

The walls of your vagina were so satisfying. He was moving with ease, your cunt inviting him so well, but because of his size you still managed to feel incredibly snug and tight on him.

He contemplated being gentle and slow, but somehow he understood that you needed more than that. Something filled with passion and care. So he made love to you with deep plunges that were timed perfectly. He wasn't being ruthless or anything, but he made sure to kiss your g-spot repeatedly, making sure to prioritize your pleasure. Lucky for him, when he did that you would clench tighter and become more slick. You felt incredible.

"Shouta! Awh~"

"That's it, baby... Relax on my cock, alright. Let me do the work."

You clung onto him and pulled him closer to you. Your chests pressed against each other and Shouta nudged his face in your shoulder. His facial hair pricked you as he peppered kisses along your neck while he fucked you sensually.

"Hmmm!" As you continued to mewl out to him, he felt his balls tighten at the sight of your watery eyes. He wasn't going to last much longer.

His balls slapped against your ass when he fucked you. The skin slapping and wet noises from your pussy nearly sent him over the edge. Before he released, he fucked you faster, making you cry and moan louder. His deep thrusts from his thick cock made you feel full and feasted, and your mind was going blank. All you knew was how emotional you were feeling, without any coherent thoughts.

Shouta releases deep, hot spurts of cum inside of you with a deep, drawn-out groan. You whine intensely, pussy throbbing from his care. He rests with his cock still inside of you for a few moments, before pulling out with cum leaking with him.

The only noises in the air were the deep sighs the both of you shared. Shouta could feel himself becoming sleepy, but he withstood his drowsiness. He sits upwards and firmly pulls you up with him, resting your frame beside his as he held you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes..."

You were trembling, though. Sure, you probably had felt good sexually, but today was a lot for you.

"How does your body feel?"

"Mm...I'm a little sore. And thirsty."

"I'm sorry. I'll go get you a drink and an ibuprofen."

"It's ok. You don't have to feel bad."

"I know. I'll still get those for you, though. Okay?"

"Yea."

Shouta turns on the bedside lamp and feels around the bed for his pants. When he finds them he puts them on and heads out into the kitchen, fetching a glass of water and an ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet. When he returned to the bedroom you were huddled up with a blanket snuggling you. He sat down beside you and held out the medicine.

"You should sit up. It'll go down easier."

"Okay."

You comply and sit up, taking the medicine and swallowing it with the water. After the medicine is taken, you continue to drink more, the cool water soothing your insides. Shouta holds your head with his hand and rubs it with his thumb, planting a kiss to your temple.

"I'm incredibly proud of you, Y/N."

"Thank you."

"I care you about you. I hope you come to feel at home here. You're more than welcome and loved."

"That makes me happy. I love you too."

#aizawa #aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #aizawa x reader smut

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vampynights · 10 months

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:D HIHIIII i'm back w another ryan rq LOLL can u write any sort of hcs about cuddling or physical affection w him please ^_^ !!!!!!! sorry if this is too vague, just lmk if it is!!!! 💘 (:

✰a/n: HELLO AGAIN ANON!! wonderful to hear from u and get another request!! I completely understand what you want, and since you so politely asked, you shall receive! this is so random but the song i had on repeat while writing this was ‘kiss me’ by sixpence none the richer and i feel like it really just adds to the overall vibe so i highly suggest listening while reading !!! hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day<33

✰RYAN ROSS — physical affection with ryan headcanons

✰warnings: none tbh!! just pure fluff

(i love this gif sm.)

–ryan is definitely a lot more reserved when it comes to physical affection in the beginning of your relationship

–he’s pretty reserved overall tbh at first, it takes a bit to get him out of his shell

–in the beginning you’d probably have to initiate somethings or hint to him that you’d like to do certain things

–for example, if you wanted him to grab your hand you’d probably have to do that cliche ‘putting your hand super close to him till your pinky’s are touching’ thing to make him notice

–this is probably weird and stupid but i feel like he has like sweaty palms LOL (i do too, i understand the pain.)

–like, you hold his hand for too long and all of a sudden it’s like holding hands with someone who’s sprinkled a shit ton of water onto their hands

–he gets super embarrassed abt it too and you kinda just have to laugh it off and like tell him it’s okay without making a big deal out of it either…?

–once he gets into the habit though his hands are like ALWAYS on yours.

–underneath tables, while you two are walking, if you’re sitting next to each other, when i saw always I MEAN ALWAYS

–now moving on from the hand holding, cuddling is a little easier for him to get used to, funnily enough

–his excuse is probably that cuddling is done mostly in private meanwhile hand holding is public a lot of the time and he gets kinda shy

–he is like the perfect mix of little spoon and big spoon

–like he really does not mind being either tbh, he’ll only have a preference if he’s in a REALLY bad mood (in which case he’ll probably wanna be little spoon) but generally, he doesn’t care, as long as he’s holding you he’s chill.

–he’s got a fucking GRIP

–cuddling with him is like signing away your life tbh, once you go into his arms he will not let you out for almost ANYTHING

–this mf definitely is the type to hug you from behind when you’re doing literally anything

–don’t cook in front of him unless you want your mobility to be restricted because he won’t let go of you

–ok im sorry for saying this but hear me out ok, he’s a “where’s my hug at?” guy

–BUT NOT IN THE WEIRD WAY I MUST EMPHASIZE

–if you come home the first thing he does is playfully ask you “where’s my hug at?” and opens his arm wide

–when you guys are cuddling on the couch he loves to have your legs over his lap and your head on his shoulder

–if you guys are in public however it’s a little harder to get him to cuddle

–the best you’ll get is him wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close, but he wouldn’t have you on his lap or anything

–he’s so clingy when he’s drunk

–he comes homes after drinking and the first thing he is doing is latching onto you (keep an eye on him at all times or he might vomit on you. gross.)

–if you wear his favorite perfume he will purposefully cuddle you A LOT just to smell it

–like you’ll be chilling with him and then literally feel AND hear him sniffing and you’re just like

–”did you just sniff me?”

–”no?”

–he gaslights you about it cause he get’s embarrassed but you both know the truth

–in summary, he’s clingy as shit and wants to hold you more than anything in the world but also chill out in public otherwise he’ll die

#ryan ross #ryan ross headcanons #ryan ross x reader #panic! at the disco #pre split panic #pretty odd #the bad list #ryan ross x you

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anonymous-dentist · 8 months

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the thing that has been pissing me off the most in those whole qjaiden/fear room situation is the hypocrisy, really (and not talking about the charater hypocrisy even if she was actually being kinda of hypocritical)

i'm talking about the hypocrisy of the vast majority of the fans lmao like when qforever came up and invaded bobby fields everyone went for his ass (rightfully so) but when it's her doing something similar it's ok and she's just being silly! bc apparently it's just her who can have a secret safe spot and have her feelings hurt ig

it's a very curious phenomenon in this fandom that i think it came from it having different povs and each being in a different language probably, but it really seems to me that to some people the only characters that have the right to be defended, and do something wrong and all of that is the ones they keep up with. otherwise, then they can be execrated and all of that

It's because the only characters allowed to be criticized are the Brazilian characters tbh, the English fandom gets really pissy when you criticize their favs, the French fandom is too busy criticizing itself half the time to pay attention to the others, and the poor Hispanic fandom is down to two active povs to pay attention to. But, if you've paid attention over the last several months, it's always the Brazilian characters getting shit for things the other characters have also done.

It's like you said with qForever and qJaiden's parallels here, but there's another parallel between them that people went crazy over last month with the Happy Pills arc when qForever made that fake house for Richarlystone and qJaiden fans went "Good, it's what he deserves", and like. No? Nobody said that qJaiden "deserved" to lose herself briefly in her grief and build Bobby Fields, but qForever "deserved" to be forcibly drugged by Cucurucho and deluded into building a house just like Bobby Fields to memorialize his son as best as his fuzzy mind could.

And then there's everybody always giving qCellbit shit for him infiltrating the Federation and pretending to be Normal about it while actively encouraging qFoolish's very similar arc, because qCellbit is apparently the evil one here because he isn't telling other people, even though he has been telling people it's a literal infiltration mission for months now.

qForever starting to sort of get along with Cucurucho? It means he's been corrupted by the Feds and he's evil and should be kicked out of office. qJaiden being actual best friends with Cucurucho? She's just being silly!

qBad being right for getting upset over characters getting into his closed-off areas of his base versus the English fandom getting very angry at Brazilian fans getting annoyed over qJaiden breaking into a very very very closed-off area of qCellbit's base.

qFoolish was just silly when he arrested qPac and qMike, but I can guarantee that if it was qMike arresting qFoolish or something that he'd be given so much shit for "false imprisonment" or something. Because that's just how this fandom works.

This issue used to actually apply to the Hispanic characters, too, because I remember the English fandom getting furious when qVegetta set up turrets specifically because qBad kept breaking into his house back in early April, because that was unfair!! qSpreen challenged qBad to a fight and, if he won, he was going to be allowed to take one of Dapper's lives was evil and irredeemable, but qSlime running around for several hours trying to murder every single egg on the server was just him being silly. qMariana being called a murderer for legitimately accidentally misclicking poor Flippa versus qSlime killing Tilin being called an accident (which it was, to be clear.)

I can guarantee that qRoier would have gotten So Much Shit from the English fandom back in April if they actually watched his pov and realized that he was the one that started spreading rumors about qQuackity trying to kill the eggs and effectively rigging the Strip Club Interrogation to make qQuackity look more evil than he actually was and basically singlehandedly causing poor qQuackity's downfall just as he swore to in early April that the English fans would have been furious. But, because he doesn't interact too often with the English members outside of Foolish and Jaiden, he's labeled Just A Silly Guy and he's promptly ignored, which is probably for the better tbh considering how they treat the other Latin American characters.

TLDR; the English characters are the only ones not allowed to be criticized while the Latin American characters are always the ones criticized, especially the Brazilians, and it's super fucking weird considering this is a global server and everything

#asks!#anon!#discourse ig #just something i've noticed #because i've been here since literally stream one

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kamiko1234 · 2 days

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Alrighty, I just got to the point of Chapter 13 after they talked to Luke and BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. So , can we talk about how straight up unserious Percy is ? Like you NOTICE that this is a kid. Buddy is out on a mission to basically save the world, going around telling Medusa he and his friends are orphans having been left behind by a circus and sightseeing XD Say what you want but that kid is funny af. Love that for him. The whole Medusa thing was CREPPY tho, like- Grover fr just found what basically is his dead uncle's corpse ???????? That's honestly fucked up. (The Uncle Ferdinand jokes were funny as hell tho) I do hold firm onto the believethat the gods are sort of dicks tho. Like, honestly ? I'm surprised there wasn't a half blood revolution yet ! Those poor children are treated HORRIBLY by their parents ! Not to mention that they also gotta deal with all sorts of monsters just because they are the kids of that one specific god. Ngl if I was a demigod I'd be ready to straight up overthrow the gods. Or atleast sue them for all the child neglect they did. Like, damn there seems to be little to no resentment against the gods on the side of the kids besides Percy. How'd that happen ? Does Camp Halfblood just have really good therapists to deal with all that trauma and to keep the kids from going , idk, crazy ? Or do they just flood them with propaganda ???? Idk, just seems a bit weird to me how everyone seems to like the gods when so far most couldn't care less so far OR are doing the bare minimum. The only thing more surprising to me than the fact that no one hates the gods, is how surprisingly well I can get on with the first-person POV ? Like, I JUST realized that. It's just THAT good. Normally I don't rly like first-person , but honestly this is the biggest expection so far ! Percy's POV is just hilarious. Kinda nervous about his dreams tho, idk what to make of them.......... But also, OMFG GROVER WAS THE GUY WHO BROUGHT ANNABETH. Damn does every character have trauma here ? Poor lad. On the topic of Grover tho, that whole backstory with Pan gives me BIG tingels for my traitor theories. When he went on his little rant about humanity and how they ruined nature, he very clearly called Percy human. He sees Percy as part of a group he seemingly dislikes to atleast some degree.

Grover also has a sort of legacy he thinks he needs to fullfill ? With many (if not all) members of his family having been seekers. Like, what if Pan IS actually dead ? Or atleast in the underworld, and that is why no seeker has ever returned ? Maybe Hades manages to get Grover to betray Percy by offering him Pan ? It is Grover's dream while also being very important to his entier species. It looks like a good motivation for me. Otherwise I rly like the backstory for Grover we have so far. The author did a great job in fleshing him out tbh. He really went from a droky comic-relieve sort of guy to something..... honestly depressing. I really wonder what happened to Pan. But I do think he's most likely dead or somewhere in the underworld, with Hades being the big bad it would think. ANNABETH GOT A HINT TOO THO, during the Luke talk he did mention that you'd have to be invisible to get the Master Bolt. And the Athena Cabin already picked the side against Poseidon when the camp started to splitt. The motivation for her would still stay the same ofcourse, her godly parent. Personally I do still favor Annabeth as traitor, but it could simply be that I just had the theory about her for longer. Honestly both have solid bases for it and I'd be interesting either way. I'm about halfway done now, so I doubt a thrid character will be introduced now to be the traitor. If a new character IS introduced tho, they'd props be the prime suspect for me. But also, thank you Luke for being one of the MOST reliable character in the story so far. Anytime you show off smth good happens for me (either entertainment or more hints for my theory). BUT ALSO HIM CALLING ANNABETH HIS LITTLE SISTER ? ALKQOPÜREINA THAT'S SO CUTE LIKE ????? ugh ngl now I sort of hope it ISN'T Annabeth bc her betraying them would BREAK Luke's heart T-T. Just let them be happy, please. That's all I ask. Let my fav big bro be happy. Please.

#please mark spoilers if you but them into replies/reposts so I can look away ^^#pjo percy #pjo book #pjo fandom #percy jackson #annabeth pjo #annabeth chase #grover pjo #grover underwood #luke castellan #Theories #pjo theory

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juice-drinker27 · 5 days

Text

Black Butler hug headcanons!!

Hey yall LMAOKSJSJ-

I'm so sorry for kinda ghosting this account for a while, things have been crazy lately but I've wanted to get something posted here for a while! The majority of this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so I tried to get it finished it up tonight!! I hope y'all enjoy! <3

Sebastian

- He is definitely super teasing about you wanting a hug from him BAHSJSH-

- "Hm? What is that? A hug? You're too cute."

- He'll straight up walk away from you a few times, a shit-eating smirk on his face the whole time.

- When you finally do break him down enough to oblige, he will finish off whatever task he's doing and give you his full attention

- "You still want me to give you a hug?" he would ask, raising his brows at you. "Let me see you, then. Come here."

- His hugs would be very gentle, with his arms normally wrapping around your shoulders, no matter if you're taller or shorter than him.

- He would definitely pull you into him, with your face buried in his shoulder or his chest, and his chin rested on top of your head.

- Once you get closer to him, he would become slightly less teasing about it and begin initiating hugs with you!

- He's definitely the type of person to creep up on you and hug you from behind like bro is SILENT when he wants to be and will definitely use that to his full advantage

- Like you would just be tending to whatever you normally do and BOOM two arms have been snaked around your waist as he pulls you to his chest, pressing his cheek to your hair.

- All in all I feel like he's surprisingly gentle, especially once you get to know him!

Mey-Rin

- Mey-Rin is absolutely the type of person to stop EVERYTHING she is doing if you want a hug!!

- Especially if you want a hug because you're upset or anything like that, she's immediately just like

- "Oh, come now, don't be upset!! Come over here, tell me what's been botherin' you!"

- Even if you're not upset and just want a hug for the sake of having a hug she wouldn't hesitate at all!

- She would be a little confused if you came up to her, arms extended, but once she understands what you're wanting she'd immediately drop what she's doing and extend her arms back, wrapping you in a warm hug

- "Ohhh, you're so sweet, yes you are!"

- She would definitely still ask you if you're alright or if you need to talk about anything before she gets back to work

- And if you do need to talk?

- Mey-Rin is getting absolutely no work done BWHSJSH

- She would absolutely spend her whole day talking with you if it meant you would be happy!

- Her hugs would be so gentle.... after she gives you a few rib-crushing squeezes

- She would definitely hug by holding one hand to your back and another to the back of your head

- Mey-Rin is probably too shy to initiate hugs, but she's always more than happy when you offer her one!!

- Eventually, she would feel confident enough with you to walk up to you sheepishly, slowly opening her arms and smiling nervously

- But that's about as forward she she gets BWHSJSHJ

Undertaker

- oh he is absolutely a hugger like he will ask you for a hug the minute he sees you!!

- Tbh he probably wouldn't even ask he would just hold open his arms and engulf you in the ginormous sleeves of his shirt BWHSJSH

- He'll always hold you close to him, swaying gently as he savors your presence!

- If you're not that close to him, he would probably only hug you to annoy you or otherwise just be mischievous

- He'd probably just catch you in his sleeves as soon as you walk through the doors of his shop

- Just the second you step through, his sleeves are engulfing you as he goes, "Hehehe! Caught ya!"

- But the second you're close to him, his hugs would become much more genuine

- He's been through a lot of loss, and he'd get very clingy and just hold you tightly to make sure you're there with him

- He'd be very gentle but very firm at the same time, with his arms snaked around you and his head pressed to your shoulder

- The Undertaker would be absolutely over the moon if you ever initiated the hug! You'd literally be his favorite BWHSNSH

- I feel like he would absolutely be the type to pick you up and spin you around if he's excited to see you BAHSJ!!

thank you so much for reading I haven't written anything like this for a while (it's mostly been essays/reports recently LMAOSJSH) but I saw this in my drafts and wanted to finish it up and get it posted lol!!! I hope you have an amazing day don't forget to have some water ily <3

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #sebastian michaelis #sebastian michaelis headcanon #mey rin #mey rin headcanon #the undertaker #the undertaker black butler #black butler headcanons #the undertaker headcanon

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energysoda · 1 year

Text

(ok so I got this ask awhile ago and responded to it but at the time my autistic ass didn't realize that it was prob a way of asking for like more of a piece of writing, and rn I feel like writing about it soooo yeah let's go)

CW: William Afton behavior (possessive, murderer, toxic, etc), sexual themes (nothing explicit, but I would give it a mature rating)

Sugar Daddy William Afton with a Goth Transmasc Partner Headcanons

You guys met each other in a music store, you were looking at an album and caught William's attention with your sense of style-- he found it intriguing

"I've heard about that band, are they any good?" He asked you, more of as an excuse to talk to you but there was some truth to it, he had heard about the band of the album you were looking at

At first you're kind of caught off guard, like why is this handsome older stranger talking to you, but you answer truthfully about the band since you assume that's probably the only reason he asked

After a while of small talk he ended up asking you out for dinner sometime which REALLY baffled you, but you ended up agreeing and that was the start of your somewhat unconventional relationship with him

When you found out he was the co-owner of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, you were really surprised and kind of starstruck since you were actually really fascinated about the case and the potential ghosts

Sometimes he considers confessing what he did, but realistically he holds himself back... He'd also make plans to create an animatronic for you to haunt just in case anything happened, having to kill you or otherwise

You introduce him to some goth bands and he actually ends up really liking some of them (Mf likes The Smiths, also The Cure tbh)

He likes how when he talks about more morbid topics like death or whatever how it doesn't turn you off, and how you actually are quite engaged in the conversation

Pays for your university tuition, your rent, etc

Would fund your entire transition, like if you wanted to go on testosterone or get top surgery or bottom surgery-- anything you wanted he would insist on covering it for you

Also like goes crazy with buying you new clothes, accessories, makeup, the works basically. he likes seeing you dressed up in things he got you it drives him absolutely wild

In general he likes to spoil you with gifts, expensive dinners, etc. (though you do have to work for it at least a little yk)

Insists on driving you everywhere (and probably would break your car so you have to rely on him)

When you came out to him as trans he was surprised since he's never really known a trans person before let alone been in a relationship with one, but this new information didn't affect how he sees you at all and he makes that clear

Sex goes crazy

Bro will praise you and degrade you at the same time fr

If you're wearing lipstick that is transferable and are around him, you bet that his neck and face are gonna end up being covered in lipstick marks and he honestly loves it

DEFINITELY has a big thing for marking you up, like he likes making it known that you belong to him (this can be in various ways: hickies, jewelry he gave you, etc)

He doms most of the time but once on a blue moon he lets you dom

He likes teasing you, especially if you get flustered easily

This old man is so horny omfg like bro is down bad for you

Sometimes when you're alone with him he lets you give him a makeover

Definitely have gone on romantic walks in graveyards together

He is literally obsessed with you, like a concerning amount

If anyone harasses you OR flirts with you, they mysteriously go missing, that's kinda crazy I wonder what happened

Have any transphobic family? Not anymore <3

Literally if someone even looks at you wrong, he will have something to say about it

After sex he surprisingly likes to cuddle, and sometimes you guys just sort of talk about life or whatever random thing before falling asleep in each other's arms

he's more cuddly when he's sleepy, it's kind of sweet

Ok I'm done with ideas, hopefully that is satisfactory for u guys

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rui-drawsbox · 3 months

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halo halo this might be out of blue but may i ask how’d you fall in love w Baxter? I wanna hear the story of like how you started to like him if you don’t mind sharing . tysm!!and i love all your artworks!!!!

AGHHHHHHH i was about to go to sleep but healty schedules are overrated. Take a sit cuz this is gonna be LONG bc i dont know how to get to the point (jump right to the end to get the 3 lines resume lmao)

if you ask me why i like right now: he's a dramatic loser. But that was when i finally understood his character! you wouldn't be surprised if tell you that i'm an idiot right? i'm super slow to read between lines and understand people, that applies to fictional characters too lmao (+add that english isn't my first language) So! at first i didn't actually understood what was going on with -well- anything :D.

Took me a few playthroughs to actually understand the game in general, i started to play before step 4 was out so all i could do was play and replay different ways to fall in love with Cove (starting to crush at step3 was my fav) but tbh he was never my *type*, Derek was interesting but just bc he like us by default. Even after playing his dlc i felt like he was just a really good friend (which was kinda weird bc to this point i've just played his romantic route). So, what's different with Baxter?

To begin with! he's... he's....... huhh my first impression wasn't actually strong tbh, i was like "huh new guy to date yay". I didn't actually understood his character the first few playthroughs ngl. I started in fond ofc to get into the dlc but *I* was pretty indifferent, probably in Drinks where we finally see Morning Baxter was that i said "oh shit he's cute" and cuteness+gapmoe is enough to make me fall for any character tbh.

But! that was not enough to provoke a brainrot like this right? i'm the "Oh i love this *forgets about in a week*" type. What sealed the deal (badum tss) was probably bc of the fandom? Once i was done replaying the dlc 5 times in a row i went straight to tumblr to feed of headcanons, fanarts and fanfics. My favorite way to understand a character is thru the fandom tbh, my favs are the long aa essays talking about a character personality.

Long story short, he was dramatic troubled flirty gap-moe guy (my fictional type, coincidentally) with an excellent storyline. I still wasn't 100% into him but he was top1 romatic choice for me (sorry Cove and Derek, love ya but platonically), so i made 2 fanarts for his dlc in may and let the hype die... only for 6 months otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we?

AH-HA-HEM the day 28th of november, beginnings of summer, i went out in the morning to do some errands with my mom, we stopped to buy vegetables in our way home and she bought a small watermelon bc i love them. That same afternoon i was eating it and thought "watermelons are finally here, summer it's officially here!" and got struck with Olba memories like a sleeper agent. (made a minicomic abt that, that's why i have the exact date lol) SO i replayed the game again, reading everything again, and oh boy i finally understood so many things, one of those things was Baxter himself!

A lot of stuff made sense once i actually took the time to comprehend his character with the information i gained out of the game (mainly all the asks ppl sent to gb). Add the way that i always played like *me* on my first playthroughs of anything and then you'll notice why he hit me so hard, it felt like i wasn't giving him enough credit before dasjkfas.

Tbh his dlc is my fav bc it has such a strong storyline, you get to know him and his insecurities thru all step 3, and have a lot of sweet moments too! (and that night goodbye?? omg it hits me so hard bc it's right after the ending song) and because step 4 it's right after you go with all the fresh memories of your summer together and seeing him so cold towards you it's so painful but also so funny because HA I CAN SEE THRU YOUR FACADE YOU STILL LIKE ME HAHAHA and i finally knew the perfect word for him: loser.

Anyways i also did a deep dive in the Olba and Baxter Ward tag here in tumblr and eat pretty much everything, also helped me to get a better grasp for all the little details i didn't noticed before bc haha i told you im an idiot?

sO yeah i made a few drawings of my Mc interacting with the characters, surprisingly it got a lot of attention from the fandom so i made a few more and when i noticed i was deep into the brainrot and i wasn't able to draw anything besides my Ruri and Baxter being cute lmao

Funfact. Ruri is a variation of Rui (duh) that i used in games when i didn't feel like i wanted to be called my name directly, now that she expropriated me of that name i use Ruru, i'm so creative right?

Long story short: it was mix of the game itself, fandom content and people actually liking my oc content. The fandom is super welcoming with everyone's oc's i love that akjdlfhask

ajksdfhasjk WOAH THAT IS SO LONG i def went over the top didnt i? I tried to explain my train of thought and fill the spaces where my memory is blurry with stuff i think i would've thought at the moment, it's also 3am so im- not entirely here tbh hjadfhkj

ANYWAYS THANKYOU ANON FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE I LOVE TALKING TO NO ONE IN SPECIFIC ABOUT THE THINGS I LOVE LOVE YAA<333

#rui thinks loudly #gonna upload the drawing i actually was staying up late for and go to sleep #took me 2 hours to write this omg im so lost #idk how much i wrote but i still feel like it wasnt enough. i need to ramble and be redundant about olba for another 3 hours

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birchbow · 4 months

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I love pitch relationships, and I love the way you write them, but I gotta say they kinda escape my understanding sometimes. For example, there was good chance that Kurloz would have killed eridan, and tho eridan namedropped Karkat and kinda put it out there that they hang out, he didn’t explicitly say how close they are. Wouldn’t something like killing your spade’s good friend ruin even a pitch relationship and flip it platonic? Gamzee was only concerned about Karkat being sad about eridan dying, not that kurloz wouldve been the reason he was dead (tho maybe this has more to do with gamzee not questioning kurloz’ authority and also not liking eridan lmao). Or does alternian might makes right culture plus kurloz’ status muddle things up like that? I guess the untoxxic and the inquirer are together despite the lusus murder, but I figured the fact that Ianche didn’t kill Veneno’s lusus himself helps prevent platonic feelings of hatred creep in?? Ultimately, even if I may not always grasp where the boundaries are in these relationships, I find the interactions and emotions super intriguing! Patiently looking forward to the next update.

It sounds like this is kind of a what-if question, so if I'm rambling about the wrong things you'll have to let me know--but tbh in any relationship (romantic, sexual, or otherwise) they're going to involve a lot of weighing your own needs and wants against another person's, balancing how you have differing priorities from each other, deciding what might be a fun joke or fun date or fun kink to try, and whether you might guess wrong and sour things between you... In troll society, that does definitely include just like, murder lol.

So like, if Kurloz had shrugged that name-drop off and killed Eridan, especially if that fact was presented casually or callously to Karkat, he would certainly have been furious! I don't think he would have tried to actually attack or kill Kurloz, especially once the initial anger wore off, because he has two other quadrants that are tightly bound up with the guy and also he knows he's not going to win a one-on-one fight with Murder Pope, but he'd be deeply pissed.

Societally, Kurloz is fully inside the rules to kill almost anybody he wants, and Eridan's not vital in the court yet so even his status doesn't really protect him--but the checks and balances of "I don't care about this person but they have a lot of allies who seem like they'd try to get back at me"/"I do care about THIS troll's opinion of me, though, and I'd rather not piss them off" seem like a pretty crucial part of Alternian culture. See: the paralyzing->haunting->murder->maiming->blinding situation in canon hahaaa.

Anyway, in the same way that sometimes it's hard to pinpoint a single thing that could turn a human relationship from "we're (relationship)" to "we're done"--and in the same way that's usually the culmination of lots of smaller things, rather than a one-way and irreversible switch--I don't think there's going to be a hard rule for this stuff for kismeses either! Just lots of people guessing whether or not they've fucked up and trying to stumble their way through.

#tl;dr sorry the confusion comes in-built when you get a relationship I think #ask time!#price of forgiveness #time for birch to meander lmao.

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meimeikyu · 19 days

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Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

youtube

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

youtube

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

youtube

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

youtube

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

youtube

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

youtube

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

youtube

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

youtube

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

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so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

youtube

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

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