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#but now everyonce in a while the memory just like pops up and us like hey hi hello youre fundamentally flawed!
teamfreehoodies
·
3 years
Text
a friend once called me broken from the passenger seat of my jeep on a full moon night and i have been haunted by that moment ever since
#because its true and also it hurt like a sucker punch to the gut because up to that point i hadnt felt broken
#just like ur generic form of fucked up
#but now everyonce in a while the memory just like pops up and us like hey hi hello youre fundamentally flawed!
#but in a very cheery voice like bubblegum pop if it were a person
#and everytime its like fuck you were right
#anyways just thinking about that tonight because i am not coping with this school year well
#and im not coping with my loneliness well
#and im not coping with the fact that im going to limp through life holdimg out for the days in between needing to cope to survive
#all while im
#actively terrible at coping to survive actually
#and im just tired pre-emptively of how many years of being broken and damaged there are ahead of me you know?
#and look lord knows we’ve all got trauma i see that and i respect it but i also feel like not everyone gets told from day dot
#that somethung is fundamentally and specifically wrong with you personally and having to live with that is.. idek annoying i guess mostly
#ahhhh jusr ignore this im having weird thoughts and being unnecessarily stupid as per the uzh
#u can like but dont try to talk to me about this by the way lol im just putting the thoughts out there cause they need to go somewhere
#i dont wanna start a conversation about this
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