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a-solitary-marshmallow · 4 years

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Miscommunications

The impact of hitting the door reverberated through Virgil’s palms. He heard it slam but he was already through, bolting through the mindscape, feeling his thin, armoured limbs scraping the walls as they dragged behind him. There went Patton’s wallpaper. Just the cherry on top of a fucked-up day.

“VIRGIL!” Roman bellowed from behind him, and the loudness of it made Virgil stumble and trip, barely catching himself with the spindly legs that protruded through the back of his hoodie. They were normally folded against his body, but now alert and twitching with terror, they were too big for the hallway. Virgil ran desperately for the junction that would take him back.

Back. The word itself was nearly enough to make him hesitate in his headlong dash. Back, to where he used to be, with the Dark Sides he used to acquaint with and now hated him with a burning passion. But that hate was expected – warranted, if anything – and infinitely better than a fresh, betrayed hate from the Sides he’d tried to be friends with.

“Virgil!” Patton shouted.

Curse the fickle layout of the Mindscape. Usually navigateable halls were now twisted and convoluted. Was this Roman’s influence? Was he trying to slow Virgil down, making sure they could catch him? The thought made Virgil’s mouth taste bitter with fear and he picked up the pace. The sharpness of his vision made him dizzy, but that was better than hiding his extra eyes and run the risk of someone sneaking up on him.

It wasn’t that Virgil set out to hide it. At first he assumed that they already knew. After all, why else would there be so much fear and distaste when he stepped into a room? All of the Others were… different. Eyes, legs, scales, animalistic and frightening. That was their job. Virgil had assumed that they knew he was no different.

The bangs across his face obscured the cluster of black eyes, because seeing that sharply was hard to handle and sometimes sent him into sensory overload.

He mumbled a lot, which led to him not opening his mouth much – his fangs just didn’t show unless he presented them, which he didn’t often feel like doing.

His hoodie with big and soft, perfect to hide in, and also keep his extra limbs curled around his body for comfort and practicality.

But everything changed on a Tuesday. You wouldn’t think big, monumental changes would ever happen on a Tuesday afternoon. It was so… Tuesday. But the foundations of his world shook, and Virgil realized that he had to be much more careful about the inadvertent secret he hadn’t realized he’d been keeping

The memory left a sour taste in his mouth. He’d been persuaded by Patton to hang out with them in the kitchen and taste-test some new cookies. It was relaxed. Jovial. Kind of… fun. But that was what Virgil had come to expect from hanging with the Light Sides. They were fun, and kind, and they smiled – not in the cruel way Deceit smiled, or Remus’s unhinged grin. They smiled genuinely, happily. At him. Despite his worries everything seemed fine.

Until Roman caught a glimpse of scales slithering down the hallway, and his mouth twisted in revulsion.

“What’s that, kiddo?” Patton asked from the kitchen. Virgil rolled his eyes and prepared for another speech on shiftiness, how Roman just knew Deceit was stealing all his left shoes, more of the same.

He didn’t expect Roman to just mutter, “It’s really creepy how they do that.”

“Do what?” Logan asked.

“The whole – animal thing.” Roman pulled a face and Virgil felt a cold shiver down his spine. “It’s weird. Why would you choose to look like that?”

“Don’t be mean, Roman.” Patton valiantly attempted. “I’m sure they have… reasons.”

“Yeah, Remus has a reason. To use all those arms of his to strangle me in bed.” Roman shivered. “I mean really, an octopus? It’s creepy. Now I know just to start swinging when a big gross monster comes at me, because it’s usually him – or one of the others. They like to play tricks.” He explained at Patton’s curious frown. “Discorperation usually puts a stop to it though.”

“Well, that’s not very nice.” Patton mumbled. “But I suppose if there’s no other way…”

“It doesn’t make a difference to them, they’ll reform eventually.” Roman whined. “Specs, you think so too, right? It’s weird!”

Logan frowned and pushed up his glasses from where he sat on his stool. “Well, I personally find the inhuman appearance of the Dark Sides to be… unsettling, on occasion.”

“Well, in any case!” Patton clapped his hands loudly, making Virgil jump. Sweat trickled down his back and he hunched further into his jacket, hyper aware of the spidery limbs curled up under it. “We have nicer things to talk about than Dark Sides. How are my cookies? Do you think I need to add more banana? I was thinking about adding chocolate chips but I think banana-peanut butter-chocolate cookies is a bit much.”

As soon as Virgil had been able to free himself, he bolted to his room and locked the door. So that was what they thought. How hadn’t they noticed him before??? He wasn’t exactly subtle. God, if one of them found out about him he could say goodbye to any hopes of acceptance. He had to start being more careful.

To start with, he had to stop stress-fidgeting with his silken threads. Too spider-like, and at some point one of the Sides might see him spitting them out. No. No no no no no, that could not happen. Comb his hair down just right, be careful not to smile, don’t touch one of them in case they could feel his twitching limbs…

Virgil bit down on his lip as he ran – no, more like scrambled – for the junction. For his room. For the safety of familiar hatred and morningstars, not horrified looks and roman’s gleaming katana. The taste of iron filled his mouth.

Fuck it. He’d been so close. He hadn’t meant for everything to come out like that – the stove had lit on fire, he hadn’t been thinking, when Roman yelled of course he’d come running. He was anxiety. He hadn’t noticed his bangs getting displaced as he grabbed the fire blanket and hurried to smother the flames. He hadn’t noticed anything until he turned to Patton with wide eyes and clear vision, and Patton had screamed.

Virgil stumbled back, trying to cover his face, only to trip over a chair and go crashing to the kitchen floor. His jacket tore open at the back with a horrible rip and his limbs spilled out, scrabbling for purchase on the slick floor. Patton was still screaming – spiders, of course, he hated spiders – and Roman grabbed for his sword.

That was all Virgil needed to see before he started running.

Hallways passed in a blur. Was he even going anywhere? He was lost, the mindscape seemed to be twisting back in on itself like a labyrinth. Was this him? Was it Roman? Whoever did it he couldn’t find his way out.

A dead end, a locked door. Virgil grabbed the knob and shook it desperately but it was stuck fast. What was this the door to, repressed memories maybe? He didn’t care. The footsteps behind him grew nearer as he struggled with the door. Open, open, open! In frustration Virgil slammed his fists against it and screamed.

Skidding as the footsteps came to a halt. Virgil whirled around to stare at the figures blocking the hallway, one with his hand to the sword at his belt. Their silhouettes blurred from the tears in Virgil’s eyes. Roman stepped forward and Virgil flattened his back against the door.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” He slid down into a ball and curled his legs around himself tightly, a pathetic shield against the blow that was sure to follow. Roman yanked out his sword. “I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry I lied, I’ll go away, I’ll be quiet, please don’t kill me!” Virgil hid his face behind his arms. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!”

“Virgil!” There was a loud clang that made him flinch – but no pain. Virgil peered over his arms warily, only to see Roman’s sword lying flat on the ground. Roman stood pale and staring with his hands upturned, Patton and Logan behind him. Patton was crying and distressed, being held in place by Logan, and the sight made Virgil’s heart ache. Just let him run away, because Virgil couldn’t bear to see him this afraid.

But Patton didn’t look – frightened? No, Logan was holding him back from rushing forward, not away, eyebrows furrowed with his lips pressed tightly together.

“Virgil, I’m not gonna hurt you.” Roman said softly. Virgil curled up tighter, disbelievingly. Why wouldn’t he? Virgil was a Dark Side – a creepy monster with spider eyes and too many legs, fangs that could rip out a person’s throat. His legs twitched around him. Roman stepped forward once and Virgil flinched. “Virgil, please, I’m not gonna do anything. I promise.”

Virgil peered at Roman suspiciously. He looked earnest – in fact he looked almost tortured, which was odd. A trick, maybe? Or maybe… he was being truthful.

“Oh, kiddo.” Patton stopped struggling against Logan’s grip and stared at him with wet eyes. “Virgil, it’s okay. We don’t – we don’t hate you, and we certainly don’t want to hurt you. What would ever give you that idea?”

Virgil pressed his back harder against the wall, drawing himself into a ball. His voice was rough and scratchy when he finally managed to whisper, “…you said you hated… this. The way Dark Sides are.” A sudden ray of hope. Maybe, if they weren’t going to kick him out, “I-I swear I can hide it better! We can forget this whole thing ever happened and you won’t ever have to see me like this again-”

Logan’s grip slipped and Patton surged forward and threw himself at Virgil, who flinched – only to find himself being hugged as Patton clung to him around spindly arachnid legs that should have sent him running and screaming.

“Oh Virgil no, it’s not like that. We love you, you’re family, you should never be ashamed of who you are and what you looked like, I’m so sorry that we made you think that Virge. Please don’t leave. I can be better.”

Virgil was being hugged. With his legs twitching and his creepy fucking eyes and his fangs bared as he gasped for breath, inches from a Side’s neck. And that Side didn’t give a fuck. Patton only clung harder.

“It appears we’ve allowed a severe miscommunication to go uncorrected.” Logan stepped forward carefully and knelt next to the lump that was Virgil and Patton. “And for that I apologize, Virgil. If at any point we gave you the impression that we would cast you out or hate you, simply for showing this side of yourself, rest assured that this idea is false. You are an accepted member of our friend group-”

“Family.” Patton sniffed.

“And your extra appendages have no impact on this fact. I am… very sorry that we caused you to think differently.”

Virgil sucked in a shaky breath. This was… not going as he’d thought it would. “But… you said it ‘unsettled’ you.”

“Virgil,” Roman stepped forward again, “A lot of things about you unsettle me. Your dark disposition, your emo style, your insistence on always-”

Logan cleared his throat, and Roman quickly continued.

“That doesn’t make you less of a person. It’s just something that I need to adjust to. Because you are important, and valid, and a part of this team. And we will never cast you aside for being different, or for being yourself.”

“Indeed.” Logan nodded. “Another point I agree with.”

“Will you stay with us? Just for a bit longer?” Patton begged. “If you want to, of course. I promise we can be better.”

Virgil swallowed hard. “I… I want to stay.”

“Excellent!” Roman clapped his hands louder than necessary, making Virgil jump. He winced apologetically. “Shall we take our emo friend back home? I feel like we could all use something to calm down – a movie marathon, perhaps? We can watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

Virgil sniffed and nodded. Patton stood reluctantly, then held down a held to help Virgil up. He accepted and was pulled to his feet – and fuck if it didn’t feel weird to stand in front of the Light Sides with his gleaming black eyes and legs sprawling out behind him. He tucked them against his back self-consciously.

“I, um… sorry about the wallpaper. Sometimes I can’t, um…”

“Wallpaper?” Patton laughed and linked an arm through Virgil’s, leaving him standing stiffly in shock. “Oh Virge, don’t worry about that. I was thinking about changing it anyway.”

Suddenly Logan was in front of him, peering with undisguised interest at his eyes. “I must say, I am very intrigued by this development, as well as your having hidden them for as long as you did. Would you mind if I studied-”

“Logan.” Patton hissed. “Not the time!”

Logan swallowed and straightened. “Ah. Yes. Virgil, would you mind if I studied your arachnoid qualities – another time?”

“Err. Sure.” Virgil mumbled, and Logan gave a beaming smile.

“Excellent. Now, to find our way back. Roman, did you really need to go about changing the layout of the Mindscape?”

“I didn’t mean to do it!” Roman protested. “It was an accident. Hang on, I’ll straighten it out – well, gay it out.”

Virgil snorted into his fist, and no one snapped at him. Later, when they’d found their way back to the common room and put on a movie, Roman leaned back against him with a yawn, barely sparing a thought to the spider legs. Patton cuddled up against his other side and Logan sat comfortably on the other side of the couch. Patton didn’t argue against the wall of gleaming limbs that arched over him like a protective shell. He just hummed happily.

And everything was okay.

Apart from the time that Roman asked if Virgil could roast marshmallows on his spindly legs. But that was a good few hours away.

#sanders sides #my writing #fic #platonic lamp #angst #miscommunications #spiders

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