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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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everybodyscupoftea · 3 years

Text

don’t forget gloves

jj x unc women’s soccer reader

jj agrees to a pickup game during winter break

(warnings: cursing, severe lack of editing)

JJ agreed, a little to your surprise, to come play in a pickup game with you and some of your teammates and their partners. You knew he typically didn’t like doing stuff like that because he wasn’t the most knowledgeable about soccer, but since hit had been over a year, you guessed he felt confident enough in his abilities.

“Babe,” he held his hand up when you made a surprised noise, “I’ve been practicing for months now.”

You raised your eyebrows in amusement, “Sure thing. It’s later this afternoon, but I’m gonna go early and stretch if you want to come.”

“Do I have time to take a nap?”

Humming, you glanced at your watch, “Sure. I’ll come pick you up in an hour and a half.”

“You don’t want to stay?”

“Not if you’re sleeping, I’ll just go home and watch some TV.”

JJ shrugged and handed you your keys, “Suit yourself.”

You ended up walking home and jogging back to JJ’s apartment as a sort of warmup. The sun was getting low, would probably start setting in the next hour, and you didn’t want to get hurt. You texted him and within a few minutes, he was opening the passenger door and climbing in.

“Hey, how was the nap?” you asked, turning the heat up a little.

JJ looked at you suspiciously, “Did you just run here?”

“Maybe.”

He snorted, “You baffle me sometimes. The nap was great, feeling rested and ready to kick some ass.”

“Glad to hear,” you answered, backing out of your spot to head to the practice field.

When you got there, JJ helped you drag the goals into place, and you helped him stretch out. After tying his shoe, he stood up, “Who all is coming?”

“Not too many people, a couple teammates and some significant others.”

He nodded, “What time?”

“Ten minutes.”

“Will you pass with me a little bit?”

“Sure.”

He moved back about ten feet, and the two of you knocked it back and forth steadily and in silence. You were actually really impressed at how much he’d improved, even when you hit one at him more firmly than you intended.

Grinning, he passed it back easily, “I’ve been using a wall at my complex. This is so easy compared.”

Which reminded you of when you were younger, using the wall as a passer to work on control and staying on your toes to move quicker. You nodded, “The wall is a great way to build skill.”

“I read it online,” he admitted, “there was one week that I walked around my house with a soccer ball at my feet at all times, but my roommate got annoyed so I quit.”

Yet another thing you’d done as a child, and you raised your eyebrows, “My parents got annoyed when I did that as a kid too.”

He laughed, “Even your dad?”

“Especially my dad. He was all for improving until he tripped over it carrying food.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes, Thanksgiving food to be exact. Thankfully it wasn’t the turkey, but we had no dressing that year.”

“Damn,” he whistled lowly as a car pulled in and parked next to yours. A few of your teammates that carpooled climbed out, one of them carrying a bag full of pennies she’d grabbed from the locker room.

A few of them spread out to kick around while a few of you waited to the side.

“Girls versus boys?” your teammate, Alexis, asked.

You shook your head, “Nah, I think Payton is bringing her girlfriend so it’d be uneven.”

“Wait have we met Payton’s girlfriend before?”

“Not this one,” you mused, “I think the one we met during the season broke up with her.”

“Oh shit,” Alexis muttered, “you know why?”

“Traveling killed her. She wanted weekends together that Pay just didn’t have during the season.”

Alexis sighed, “That fucking sucks.”

“Yeah, but this girl, Emma, plays volleyball, so she gets it.”

“How do you know?”

“I talk to her regularly,” you answered, amused.

“You’ve met Emma?”

“Only on FaceTime. I think she’s pretty nervous to meet us.”

Alexis smirked, “Good.”

Mack was the next to join the group, dragging her boyfriend behind her with a grin, “Can’t believe we’re all matching!”

You glanced down, all three of you wearing the same hoodie and shorts combo, “Wow, so cute,” you deadpanned.

She reached forward to flick your nose, “Fuck off, give our brains some credit.”

“Our brains,” Alexis snorted, “we just share a single fucking braincell.”

Payton was the last to show up, sitting in the car a few seconds after turning it off, talking to the girl in the passenger seat.

“Think she’s giving a pep talk?” Mack mused, holding a ball she’d been juggling against her hip.

“Probably.”

The other two girls joined the group a few minutes later, and Alexis started handing out pennies to assign teams. You and JJ ended up on the same team, and he looked relieved. You held your fist out to him to bump, and when he did, you told him, “Partner in crime, we got this.”

And when JJ slid across the ground to tap the ball in off your pass, you yelled, jumping into his arms in excitement.

The game finally ended at 8:00 when the practice field lights automatically shut off. Mack suggested everyone turning their brights on to shine over the field, but it was getting obnoxiously cold, and had been raining for a good 40 minutes, so most of you bowed out.

“You only want to keep going because you’re losing,” Payton yelled from across the field.

JJ had his hands on his hips, one of the only ones smart enough to wear gloves. His cheeks were bright pink, and you smiled at him, “Great game.”

“You too, obviously.”

“Weee are the champions, my friends,” Alexis crooned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

You snorted and Mack flipped her off, “Fuck off, it was just for fun anyway.”

Payton smirked, “Would you be saying that if you won?”

Before Mack could say anything, her boyfriend grabbed her elbow, “Alright, babe, let’s go.”

“You’re lucky,” she called over her shoulder.

JJ laughed and picked up both of your bags on the sideline. You laced your fingers together, walking next to him, trying to regain feeling back in them. When you got to the car, JJ tugged on the door handle until you managed to unlock it.

You sighed, and tried to crank up the car, but you couldn’t get your fingers to cooperate, too frozen and stiff to wrap fully around the keys.

JJ spoke, not looking at you, “Damn, I took that one to the thigh, never been more grateful to be wearing leggings.” Then he seemed to realize the car was still cold and still off, “You good?”

“I can’t get it.”

He’d pulled his gloves off, and he reached over with his hands to grab yours, almost jerking away when they made contact, “Fuck, your hands are freezing. Why no gloves?”

“Forgot.”

Shaking his head, fondly, JJ asked, “Want me to drive home. Let your fingers defrost.”

“That’d be great,” you answered, relieved.

JJ leaned across the console to press a kiss to your forehead before opening the door and getting out quickly. Instead of getting out, you slid across to the passenger seat in maybe the most ungraceful way.

He got into the driver's seat, cranked up the car, and pulled out of the parking lot all within a few seconds while you held your fingers up to the heat blowing out of the vents.

When the two of you got to his apartment, you glanced over at the counter where your discarded gloves were sitting.

Smiling wryly, you told him, “Won’t be forgetting those again.”

“Bet not,” he laughed.

“Wish we had a fireplace,” you sighed, moving toward the bathroom to get your wet clothes off.

A few seconds later, JJ called out, “I can light a bunch of candles for you instead.”

day 12 of @obxmermaid‘s holiday challenge: your hands are freezing

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #college jj #outer banks #outer banks fic #obxmermaidholiday

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hi-hey-haechan · 4 years

Note

hii could you write something about when they are drunk and want to have sex and when they convince the reader and start they end up sleeping, like something funny ?? this was kind of a pointless idea but I thought it was funny, I would be very grateful !! (sorry for english kkk) And I love your blog 💖💖😗😗 (can be one or more groups of your choice)

We're doing SKZ Minho because he's my bias and because he'd 100% do something like this.

"You're beautiful," Minho slurred. You two were walking out to his car -- or, well, YOU were walking, whereas your boyfriend was stumbling, sometimes tripping and falling against you. Your hand was grabbing his arm in a vice-like grip, doing everything in your power to not let him fall.

"Mhm, and you're drunk," you replied. You couldn't even bring yourself to be exasperated. Drunk Minho was just too hilarious and too adorable to ever irritate you. Besides, he rarely got drunk anyways, much less this drunk. You were at fault for letting him drink so much, but then again, he deserved a drink or two after working so hard that comeback season. However, when the "two drinks" lead to three, and then four, there had to be a line drawn somewhere.

“I may be ‘drunk,’“ he drawled, “but when I wake up with an awful headache, you’ll still be beautiful.”

“Whatever you say,” you said, hardly paying attention to what he was saying. He stumbled to the right, pushing into you while doing so, almost causing you to topple over. You barely managed to keep yourself from falling, and same with Minho.

“I say smart things,” Minho hummed, smiling while closing his eyes contentedly. You had to stifle a laugh. Even when he was sober, your boyfriend still said some words that weren’t exactly intelligent. Minho was intellectually brilliant, yet he often acted as though he was functioning off of a single braincell.

There was a cat walking across the sidewalk approximately ten feet in front of you. “Look at the pretty cat,” you suggested, trying to occupy his brain differently.

What you didn’t expect was for him to stumble after the cat in a drunken sort of run. With a harsh yowl, the calico kitten scampered off, likely terrified for its life. Minho fell to his knees before yelling desperately, “No, kitty, come back and embrace me as your king!” At the sight of your boyfriend kneeling on the cold sidewalk, hands balled into fists, yelling at a feline that was long-gone, you couldn’t help but double over in laughter.

You ran over to him, grabbing his arm in an attempt to force him to his feet. “You have three cats at home, remember? Let’s go home and see them.”

Minho’s face brightened, and he clapped his hands. He hopped a couple times and then stumbled when he landed, almost falling onto a stranger’s car. You had to grab onto his hand in order to keep him upright.

You strapped him into the passenger seat of your car. He leaned forward to give you a kiss, but it hit the corner of your mouth only, making you want to laugh again. You felt his warm hand gently caressing the back of your head, and he said, “Your hair feels soft, like Dori is sitting on the back of your head!”

Yes, because your cat can sit on the back of my head, defying gravity. Of course.

With a sigh, you shut the door and got into the driver’s seat, driving a few short miles back to your shared apartment. You dragged him into the apartment, through the door, down the hallway, and you attempted to push him onto the bed.

“Y/n,” he whined, grabbing your waist and pulling you down on top of him. He smelled like alcohol, as you expected. Minho’s face suddenly buried itself into your neck, and his lips planted kisses onto the bare skin. His kisses were messy, slightly drunken, as you expected in this state.

“Minho, baby, let’s go to sleep,” you said, attempting to get out of his grasp.

Your boyfriend bit lightly on the skin of your neck, sucking harshly for a second, which completely startled you. His arms suddenly became tighter, holding you down on top of him. For someone who was currently drunk, Minho was strong. His mouth on you had the same effect on you as it did when he was sober. You let out a quiet sigh, the feeling quite wonderful.

“You’re beautiful,” Minho slurred for the second time that night. This time, however, his mouth was pressed against your skin.

“Come here,” you whispered, and when his head raised and eyes, glazed over from the alcohol, met yours, you kissed him. It was a light, gentle brush of your lips against his, the feeling warm and soft. You embraced him fully.

Minho, however, didn’t think that one kiss was enough. His lips met yours again, this time more powerfully. His mouth wasn’t soft or gentle, but rather passionate and fast. Your boyfriend’s mouth moved against your own with fervor and power, saying a million slurred, incoherent words at once, without him even making a sound. His kisses were sloppy, as expected from a more-than-tipsy Minho. He shifted on you ever so slightly, and that was when you felt his erection pressing into your leg.

Your immediate reaction was placing your hands flat against his chest, pushing a bit. That was sort of your way of letting him know that he was making you uncomfortable in some way. He wrenched himself away from you. Even when drunk, he still cared immensely about you. “Did I do something wrong?” His words sounded slightly distressed, and his eyes weren’t staring at you, but rather beyond you. “Why is the left lamp prettier than the right one?” And he was back, a drunken idiot.

“That’s one lamp, dumbass. Focus your vision. Also, you did nothing wrong. But you’re drunk, and I’m not gonna have sex with you while you’re drunk.”

“Why not?” he frowned. It was kind of cute, the way he pouted sadly.

“Because I want to feel the connection between us, and that’s not there when one of us is drunk. Because that feels like taking advantage of you, in a way, no matter how many times you’ll agree to it. Because I want you to remember everything tomorrow morning, I’d want you to remember the way you felt when you reached your high.”

“But I love you,” he whined. “That’s the connection. I’ll remember this all tomorrow morning. I’m not that drunk!”

“Baby, you told the cat to embrace you as its king.”

Minho rutted his hips against your leg. A low groan sounded in the back of his throat, and he repeated his action. “I want you,” he said, his voice steady and sure.

“Fine.” You didn’t want to argue. Besides, due to his promotions, he’d been busy, meaning that neither of you had been intimate for quite some time. You would force him to lead, for the most part; you refused to do anything to him while he was under the influence.

He began by eagerly attempting to pull your shirt over your head, but the thread caught in the hook of your bra, somehow. You, while laughing, asked him to stop moving for a second as you attempted to fix your problem. In the end, you pulled it over your head. Minho’s eyes were wide, the humor that was once in them long gone.

His mouth attached itself to one of your nipples, and the feeling brought a jolt to you, extremely unfamiliar. His tongue swirled around the nub slowly, and you couldn’t help but lose yourself in the feeling. He sucked lightly, and the pressure caused a tiny gasp to escape your lips.

All too quickly, he stopped. Minho flopped onto his back, looking at you with dark eyes. His hair was slightly messy from where you’d grabbed when he sucked your skin, and his member was hard. “Kiss me,” he said, “everywhere.”

The last word was what caught your attention immensely. You removed his shirt, giving yourself the privilege of seeing his gorgeous body. His skin was pale, but he was incredblye strong, stretching over the muscles of his shoulders, arms, and abs. Your fingers grazed over his abs, and you barely felt the slightest shift in him, clearly enjoying this.

You couldn’t stop yourself, and you moved your mouth down to taste him. You traced the line of his collarbone with you lips, appreciating the slightest shudder under you. Confidently, your tongue flicked out, and it repeated the same line as your lips. He wasn’t even shuddering.

You continued lower, lower still, sucking on his nipples and leaving hickies on his chest, where you knew he was sensitive. He wasn’t saying a word, not even making a noise. His nipples tended to be pretty sensitive,, but not this time. He wasn’t feeling them, somehow.

Growing stubborn and confused, you unbuckled his jeans and slid down his underwear and pants, exposing his hard member. Minho neither said anything or did anything when you licked his length, trying to tease him. Nothing was done when you swirled your tongue around his red tip, his most sensitive part. He was silent and still when you engulfed as much as him in your mouth as you could, trying to get a reaction.

You looked up, trying to find his face. When you saw that his eyes were closed, you were less surprised than you thought you’d be. Classic Minho, passing out hilariously. Yes, he did act like a crackhead behind doors, but him being tired was a different story. He didn’t wake up for anyone or anything when tired. However, he often slept late, which confused you at times. He could be Nocturnal if he wasn’t an idol. You pulled away from him, no longer taking him in your mouth without him being conscious.

“You were so drunk that you fell asleep while I was pleasuring you,” you whispered to him, a hint of a laugh in your voice. “Minho, you’re an idiot. And I love you for it.”

#stray kids smut #skz smut #lee know smut #minho smut #lee minho smut #stray kids #lee minho #skz minho #minho #minho imagines #skz lee know #lee know #stray kids hard hours #kpop hard hours #kpop smut

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xiaophobic · 3 years

Note

WAIT JSKDCBHN I DIDN'T SIGN MY LAST ASK HSHSHSHSH I FORGOT IM SORRY,,, but you are right my love, the one that asked for domestic genshin teams was none other than i, sunflower anon ;) ngl that wouldn't have made much sense without context so i'm glad you were able to figure it out also yes i agree with beth slander, anemo cube go brr

DON'T BE SORRY FOR GOING TOO LONG ! READING YOUR ANSWER WAS SO FUN AND YOUR TEAM IS SO CUTE HELP,,, ESP THE ONE WHERE ZHONGLI & SUCROSE WEAVE FLOWERS INTO EACH OTHERS HAIR THAT WAS ADORABLE 😭 now *rubs my grubby little hands together* brain rot sharing time

For context my main team consists of albedo, venti, xingqiu, and keqing and I’ve grown too attached to every single one of them that I have zero clue on who to switch out when wishing for eula

Venti <- this bitch is my platonic soulmate and we’d most likely beg to share rooms

I get the feeling that albedo and xingqiu would share one, bigggg room that they evenly halved. Dont ask why it just felt right, and albedo is more often in some spare room that he turned into a lab so xingqiu can invite whoever and let them crash in his room

Keqings the only one with a single room and i dont think shes mad about that because her room is,,, so full of paperworks,,, neat and orderly yes but pAPERWORKS-

Alr ive assigned rooms now so onto whatever happens inside *stretches fingers*

I’d say we’re pretty even in terms of whos responsible and whos not, so unless albedo becomes in charge of watching klee there shall be no fire to be committed

Its funny how we have a god and a nonbeliever under one roof, so i think keqing would be skeptical around venti. But of course, ventis playful nature and fun demeanor would likely win her over, so now she treats him like family as well

Though that said, she’d also find herself scolding both me and venti on our uhhhhh tendencies to be lazy HSHSHSH she fr tells me to stop procrastinating in game every five seconds, so imagine if she was put with mr wine aunt barsibado?

Cute friendship between albedo and xingqiu because theyve made a book together and two educational boys,,, the amount of braincells in one room is ridiculous

Remember when I said keqing was happy she had a single room? Its because of her rex lapis dolls. Neither venti nor xingqiu ever let her live that down.

In terms of cooking, venti and i are never allowed for our own good. Venti isnt a bad cook but hes definitely a chaotic one and i physically cant make pancakes if my life depended on it. Albedo is on cooking duty most of the time but if hes busy, xingqiu will do it (though he will throw out the carrots) because keqings often too busy

HAVE YOU SEEN THE DESCRIPTION OF ALBEDOS SPECIAL DISH?? ITS A WHOLE FANFICTION OMG

Venti making everyone flower crowns mmmmmmmmmm and specific types of flowers for each person... aw

Whenever xingqiu reads a new history book, sometimes venti will just go “LIES. THATS NOT WHAT WENT DOWN. PUT THAT BOOK AWAY AND ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED-”

Albedo and Keqing both staying up really late because of work and venti having to sing them songs so theyll sleep i am SOFT

A recurring theme I find in this team is that we all look like responsible upkept high society people but behind the locked doors youll find keqing trying to get venti to get tf up, xingqiu and i raving about some fanfic, and albedo making something explode in his lab on accident

Bonus because ive run out of ideas:

(keqing THIS IS A CANON VOICELINE) Sleep well... me? Uh... I still have a handful of things on my to-do list, but I'll call it a night once they are done.

(xingqiu) lady keqing… please, it's too late in the evening. Mr Kreideprinz, the new concoction, if you would.

(venti, putting down a frying pan) oh… so we’re using the potion tonight?

Okay so the quality of whatever this is isnt guaranteed and its 100% crack barely any soft HELP HSHSH but im typing this in the middle of science class so pls forgive me. I wonder how you feel when you get a super long ask in your inbox…? I hope you still dont mind ( ´^｀) have a nice day dearest!! I’ll sign off twice now so I wont forget next time KESHEJ -🌻 anon

BAE I LIKE DIDNT SEE THIS???? WAH IM SORRY FOR MY LATE RESPONSE,,

HELP YOU MFS ARE SO CHAOTIC??? THE BONUS LITERALLY HAS ME DYING WHY IS VENTI FULLY PREPARED TO KNOCK HER OUT WAGSH(<\%[^{*}

your team definitely has “burnt out gifted kid” vibes ABSHAHSHA BUT IN A GOOD WAY OF COURSE they’re just all doing their best to be their best (with the possible exception of venti, though i’d argue that around such composed characters he’d experience his own slight code switch)

i’ll give you one of my own personal headcanons and apply it to your team a bit since i feel like it fits!!

venti knows everyone he comes across, or at least can connect their face to someone he’s seen in the milleniums he’s lived — a relative or something. he’s the god of wind and freedom, so naturally he’s traveled to all nations in order to be free and see the world as he pleases.

given this, he knows everyone on your team. he can connect their faces to at least one of their distant relatives that he’s known before. that is, except for albedo, who was born of chalk. the first person in a while who he sees and knows nothing of, so he FREAKS THE FUCK OUT. he spends half of his time stressing over who he could possibly be the offspring of but ends up coming up short every time.

he falls under the impression that albedo just must be klee’s older brother who was just never mentioned, until klee confesses that they’re not related biologically. it remains the subject he loses his mind over at the bottom of each bottle.

ABAHSHAHSH I JUST LIKE THE IDEA OF VENTI BEING SECRETLY WATCHING OVER THEM ALL YKNOW? HE CARES MAN 💔

anyway, i’m sorry this was so late and i’m happy you shared with me, this was rlly a pleasure to read <33 i hope you’re doing well, and please remember to take care of yourself, sweetpea ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝

#<🌻3 — anon !!#atlas.asks

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nvmnd · 4 years

Text

Foregone

notes: Anon said: hello 👀if you're still taking requests could i get geralt/jaskier/male reader? (If youre comfortable with it, transmale reader would be awesome, especially if it was him coming out as trans to them and getting lots of love and support). Thank you!

A/N: my last braincell said supportive boyfriends for everyone and now we’re here (also this was pretty hard for me to write and if anyone would like to educate me if I’ve made a mistake please go ahead!)

warnings: bit of anxiety

pairing: geralt x jaskier x ftm!reader

word count: 1,143

Got feedback or a request?

You never intended on telling anyone about your past life. Why would you? It wasn’t like it mattered. There was no need to tell anyone about your childhood, your village or who you used to be. There was no need to tell anyone about that time when you fled your home after working for months in the most disgusting shithole of a tavern, trying to get enough coin to obtain the service of a sorceress.

Well, there wasn’t until the mighty White Wolf and his bard came running into your life and somehow changed it for forever. You can’t really say for how long you’ve been travelling with these two. It wasn’t intentional in the beginning, you just somehow always ended up running into each other until eventually you just accepted that some higher power obviously had a plan for the three of you.

Jaskier was the first to notice your repeating encounters and mumbled something about how people linked by destiny will always find each other which earned a huff from Geralt.

It didn’t start out as a romance in the beginning either but after months of travelling together, sharing tents, rooms and sometimes even beds, a kiss on the cheek here, a hug that lasted too long to be platonic there and a particularly memorable night which involved some chamomile, feelings started to develop.

Now you were cuddled up in bed, your head rested on Geralt’s chest while Jaskier lied on your stomach and softly traced your scars. You didn’t have as many as the witcher nor were the stories behind them as fascinating but Jaskier asked about every single one.

“Where’s that one from?”

“A brawl in a tavern.”, you mumbled and added: “I didn’t start it. Was just kind of drunk and felt like joining.”

You heard Geralt huff in amusement behind you and looked up. “Not everyone can offer interesting stories, my dear witcher”, you teased and placed a light kiss on his jaw. You saw how the corner of his mouth twitched for a second and returned your attention to Jaskier.

He wasn’t done yet with discovering your body, getting to know every story it had to tell.

“Where are these from?”

His finger traced over two scars on your chest and you tensed up.

You hesitated before you answered:”A mage.”

Jaskier furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Why’d she leave scars? Did she attack you?”

You hesitated, uncertain whether an answer would really be necessary or if you could somehow distract Jaskier. However, you were sure your hesitation didn’t go unnoticed by the men. Your chest felt tight when you spoke again. “I obtained her service. Chaos needs to be balanced somehow. She was still young and so she left some scars. ‘t was accidental.”

You sat up straight and tried to get out of bed to throw on some clothes. You felt unwell, remembering the pity in the mage’s eyes when you went there, doe-eyed, young, heavy-hearted and begging her to do literally anything.

“Well, lots of people are unhappy with their appearance, I’m sure-“

You interrupted Jaskier:”It wasn’t about my appearance itself.”

Your voice was hoarse and your tone harsher than intended. You got up and picked your clothes off the ground. With your back turned to the two men, you put on your pants.

“What was it then?”. Geralt’s voice was deep, calm, it always reminds you of the depth of the ocean.

The silence was uncomfortable.

Your mind was racing and so was your heart. You were sure Geralt could hear it, just like he would be able to smell your fear. Thoughts ran through your head and you tried to think about your answer. It could ruin everything and though you’re sure these men loved you and vice versa, you were scared of getting rejected, of seeing disgust on their faces and losing the one good thing destiny gave you.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. Trembling fingers played with the tunic in your hands and your back was still turned to your lovers when you started to speak again:”I have five older brothers which meant there were quite a lot of men in our house and when my mother found out she was pregnant again, she prayed to the Gods for a little girl.”

You let out a low chuckle. It was dry and didn’t sound like you at all. Anxiety clutched your chest and it felt like it almost pushed all the air out of your lungs, like you couldn’t breathe. When you finally turned around, your lovers were looking at you; confusion in Jaskier’s face, Geralt’s eyebrows were furrowed.

You pressed your lips together and continued:”And then she finally got her girl.”

You waited for a storm to rise, for the men to jump away from you but nothing happened. Instead Jaskier asked:”And what’s got your sister to do with all this?”

The dry and sharp laugh which escaped your lips almost scared you. You didn’t know what to answer but you needn’t worry about that as you could see the realisation sparkle in Geralt’s eyes. “Y/N doesn’t have a sister.”, he told Jaskier.

“But he just - oh.”

Yes ‘oh’, you thought to yourself and started to put on your tunic. You could feel their eyes on you though, examining your broad frame, the stubbles on your face.

“Think I’ll get going.”, you mumbled and started to put on your boots. You weren’t surprised they reacted that way and if you were being honest you had expected worse, yet there was still a sting in your chest, and you could feel your heart break a little.

And suddenly there was a warm hand on your wrist, stopping you from tying the boots.

“Don’t”, Geralt said softly and confusion washed over you.

“But I – you – “

He pulled you closer and both men hugged you tightly, they held you until the tension let go of your shoulders, until you melted into their arms, until even the last doubt that they would stop loving you disappeared.

You felt Jaskier’s nimble fingers brush through your hair, felt Geralt’s soft lips on your shoulder.

“Y/N, we’ll always love you, no matter what.”, Jaskier assured you, his voice sweet like honey and an even sweeter promise.

“Thank you for trusting us.”, Geralt’s lips moved against your skin, his amber eyes looking up to your face:”Thank you for overcoming your fear.”

You never intended on telling anyone about your past life but the feeling of love and bliss inside you, the overwhelming support and the weight lifted off your shoulders almost brought you to tears. The relief that destiny didn’t take your lovers away, that they didn’t see you as someone else all of a sudden – your heart beat twice as fast as it should but this time anxiety was no longer the cause.

#i hope this one is okay?#was pretty hard for me to write tbh #geralt x jaskier x reader #geralt x jaskier x male!reader #the witcher imagine #the witcher oneshot #geralt x reader #jaskier x reader #male!reader #trans!reader #geralt imagine #jaskier imagine #geralt oneshot #jaskier oneshot #imagine #request

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