#but it’s getting really fucking hard not to 🙃

[daffi-990]

If we get actual canon confirmation on our screens in either 7x04 or 7x05 that Evan Buckley has romantic feelings for Eddie Diaz .. I may actually pass out from shock.

#like holy shit guys it could actually happen #and ahh I’m trying so hard not to get my hopes up #but it’s getting really fucking hard not to 🙃 #buddie #911 thoughts

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF ATTICAN TRAVERSE: KROGAN TEAM

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Grunt With: Urdnot Wrex, Dr. Mordin Solus, Primarch Adrien Victus and The Rachni Queen I don't need luck- I have ammo. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #sophie shepard #james vega #EDI #urdnot grunt #urdnot wrex #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #i finally finished gif’ing traverse and this set is cursed is all i will say :) #i don’t know why this one was such a pain in the ass but compressing them was a massive chore for some reason #and my dumb ass realized as i was assembling i set the frame hold wrong for like 4 of them so i had to go back and redo a few of them 🙃 #the thing that pissed me off most is that there’s usually a nice planet shot with a normandy fly in to make a header from #and traverse just doesn’t fucking get one for some reason?? so ig we get rachni queen header #i’m so sorry but this is like my least favorite mission in the game 😭 #like i do like grunt but this mission is just meh on all fronts to me at least #like the decision from ME1 to spare or destroy the rachni queen is so fucking cool?? and it has 0 consequences in ME3 LMAO #not to mention that half of this mission is just standing around with a flame thrower burning down webs lol #the only cool thing i’ll say is i ADORE the Aliens™️/xenomorph vibes that the mission has!! that is so cool the first time around #the cutscenes are alright but there’s really only some towards the front end and the back end? so you miss so much of the middle #which makes it hard to connect what’s going on to make a best of: set lol #grunt has some nice scenes if you have him here and the rachni queen quotes are cool #the enemies are also kind of interesting in concept? i just wish the rachni decision from ME1 had more weight here #james and EDI have a few nice lines towards the front in the shuttle but there’s not a ton of great dialogue like grissom has tbh #idk this mission is just okay to me i guess? like the ardat-yakshi sanctuary with samara is much more interesting to me #i feel like this one needed longer to cook and the rachni deserved more weight in the mission based on your decision in ME1 #james and EDI looked cute like always!! and soph ate it up in cleric’s guardian armors for shepard (which continues to be gorgeous ❤️‍🔥✨) #idk seeing grunt and playing fashion dress up was the best part of this mission besides the wrex cameo at the end lmao

[thatgirlonstage]

Given my proclivity for both fantasy and amnesia stories it’s probably not actually THAT weird that it’s happened twice — altho in fairness, neither of these start with amnesia as a selling point, so it’s not like I sought them out — but if I had a nickel for every time the question “Who?” was one of the single most emotionally devastating things that happens in a whole series I sure would have two nickels

#…oh dear now I am thinking about other series that could destroy me with this question #hey uh. hey uh. what if black butler #what IF #undertaker got ciel out of his deal by editing his cinematic record somehow #and snipping out the memories of Sebastian #fuckin. a ciel who thinks he got hit in the head really fucking hard the night his parents were killed #and has spent the last few years recovering from the brain trauma with severe memory loss #it’s okay though you see #bc his brother 🙃 is here 🙃 to take care of him 🙃🙃🙃 #one of the servants manages to get to him #probably finny. I think finny would be the most heartbreaking #and bc he always fixes everything asks ‘where’s Sebastian?’ #ciel: ‘Our dog? he died—‘ #finny: no! your butler! sebastian! #ciel: who?

[arsenicflame]

well i think its finally time to open this box

#sorry gang apparently i am incapable of sticking to my word and am continuing to have a personality on main and subject you all #to all of my bullshit #i am doing my best but i am a weak bitch who does not know how to process feelings #so its a fucking miracle im opening this box tbh. ive wavered a lot around this one #this round of thinking is being brought on by the probable imminent break up between me + my gf 🙃👍 #its been on the cards for a hot minute i mean. she hasnt sent me a message since the 8th of march until today and its like a. #we need to talk message so. like im not surprised. ans ive been thinking about it all a lot recently #i dont really want to realise im aro while im with someone so ive been avoiding it but like. ive been thinking. and ive been thinking if we #shouod break up too anyway because like. i get i am so hard to be around. but nothing. for a month. even a silly picture. it hurts dude #but i kinda didn't want to push because. i know i am. me. and a lot. and i know shes got stuff on her plate. but so do i #maybe we're both no good #to be around #nyxtalks #this is very not helpful in my whole. everyone i love leaves me eventually so i should isolate myself and push them all away thing i guess #but i dont think. i want to cling. i dont wanna be that pathetic. #she can do better than me (i cant do better than her) #i mean. idk ive been questioning if im aro anyway so. idk #i dont fucking know #honestly this is gonna be so cringe if this isnt what she wanted to talk about but like. what else could it possibly be i guess #dude i am so sorry if you read this this turned into relationship vent rather than my feelings around aromanticism #those are.complicated enough for their own post and i probably need to talk to some actual aromantic people about that

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all. #it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid) #and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable. #but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried......... #the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :))))) #insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!) #but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man. #it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/ #why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly??? #while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING??? #if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃 #shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now. #i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again.. #i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh) #at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

[aeide-thea]

negotiating with people wrt what & when to eat is like. SO fucking hard actually

#like when all parties involved have a history of getting trodden on #it becomes hard for anyone to express a preference without making someone else feel pressured/rejected/triggered #and then of course some prefs are just fundamentally mutually incompatible #(like 'i skipped lunch so can we do early dinner?' #vs 'i fucking hate eating early‚ it feels like having my schedule dictated by a temporal trash compactor') #anyway i feel like. disgruntled AND like i behaved badly about it so like. worst of all worlds really 🙃

[symbioticsimplicity]

I'll be honest friends, I'm really feeling The Longing.

#im always touch starved at least a little bit #but god its so bad right now #everything hurts and i know thats a huge part of why #the only person i was getting that from is no longer really an option #and its FUCKING me up #i have really bad muscle tension issues but when the touch starvation issue gets bad #it feels like being locked inside a compression chamber #everything is so fucking tense its hard to breathe #like my muscles are so fucking tense its started cutting off my circulation in places #but i cant really fix it 🙃 #been like this for decades at this point #can you hire like someone to just lay on you for a while??? #sam speaks

[meganiumgender]

Auggh

#idk why im struggling so much lately #objectively things are good and i should be good #but im really really not #and its making symptoms like defiance and hostility so much worse and im sure im being a pain to everyone #and add that on to me making a bunch of mistakes bc im brain fogged and im just the fucking worst rn #because im fucking up and i know im fucking up but the second someone points out im fucking up i get hostile and like #its my fault!!! i know it is!!! #and im fucking humiliated!!! i feel like a petulant child all the time #and i keep comparing myself now to my past self and like. just looking at how hard ive crumbled since being out of school and stuff #i dont want to have peaked in college but it really feels like its all been downhill since 🙃🙃🙃

[imwritesometimes]

big, sad, depression night leads to a very self indulgent mood in a desperate attempt to take my mind off the paralyzing depression; leads to over 1k words in the wip.........

#like I'm not gonna say for sure 100% but #possibly..... tomorrow.... clownery.... could be afoot... 🤡🙃🤡🙃🤡🙃 #I think I may have finished it y'all I'm trying real hard not to like get ahead of myself or let the depression win rn #but.... I think...... like I'm good with it? I scrapped the original ending I'd been trying to make work for months? #but I think it works?!??! fuck ok I'm getting too excited lmao it's not like this is gonna be a widely read thing if I post it #and I mean I kinda do really just like dropping fics in my old/niche/dormant pairing tags like oh oh! #not so dormant now! enjoy my fellow niche shippers! #ok ok I'm rambling now I'm just excited but I'm trying not to be. BUT I WROTE OVER 1K WORDS MAN! #the dono.linc wip is like.... omg... it's!!!!! #i write sometimes

[wabblebees]

.

#i have a sneaking suspicion that in addition to all the other weird bullshit going on with my body #that at the moment my healing/recovery time is taking WAY longer than usual #and that im like. excessively affected by temperatures+/temp changes right now too #bc yeah while everyone else in my dorm house agrees that it really sucks the school hasnt turned the heat on and its kinda cold #its messing with me fucking HARD right now. like. to the point where today i went out and bought myself a pair of sturdy-ass gloves to wear #While I Am In My Bed Under My Blankets. bc its so bad that ((even bundled up top to tip!!)) if i dont get up every once and a while to run #my hands under hot water they get ICY and start turning fucking PURPLE. so uhhh. my temperature regulatory system has never been Great #but i think this is. much worse than usual #and when we were getting my bloodwork done before i left for school the docs never said anything abt like a zinc deficiency or anything #but??? unless its smth ELSE that ALSO didnt show up on the screenings they did... ughhgh. fuck. idk man #just. hOUGH. i wanna be wARMB and i wanna be CUDDLED and... idk man. i just want to be well. but i dont think thats happening anytime soon. #🙃🙃 #time to hop outta bed to warm my hands again bc my phone is starting to not react to my fingers trying to type anymore. wahoo. #bee speaks

[sheshallfromtimetotime]

Uggggghhhhh

#It's been raining for like three days #I'm exhausted - probably because weather + work? + period #I got soaked walking home tonight #and totally biffed a social interaction with someone asking for help getting a meal and now I feel guilty #and the cat is being a pest because my roommate's out of town and I've been in the office the oast three days so she's been home alone #and has Feelings about that #and I just... ugh #everything's hard #but not as hard as it probably is for the woman I didn't buy a meal fornon ky way home! #even though it really was within my means to do #so that's extremely shitty! #🙃 #fucking hell #oh! AND my dad keeps texting me things for which my main two options for reply seem to be either ''Okay'' or simply ignoring #so I've been ignoring them #which feels both more and less rude than simply saying okay #but I simply cannot! #what do you want me to say when you tell me you went to the bank & need to find a mechanic for your car & gave your ex-wife/my mom some $ #and she says she's doing well (I know - I talk to her) #and you still think you're gonna run for presidentbut you literally have dementia #I should go back to therapy at some point #this post might self-destruct later

[dragonanon]

PRO TIP: If you’re going to a doctor’s appointment, or ANY appointment for that matter, please do not sit in the waiting room next to a bathroom for 15+ minutes, and only ask to go to bathroom RIGHT as you’re being brought back for your appointment. 🙃

#this is my biggest pet peeve i stg #i get it bathroom urges strike without warning #but you do REALLY have to wait until the most inconvenient time possible to announce that you need to go??? #this is especially infuriating if you’re already late #like yes you’re already 10 minutes late but by all means go spend another 10 minutes in the bathroom not like we’ve got shit to do here 🙃 #I’ve had doctors flat out tell patients who do this: #“’look you can either go to the bathroom now or have your appointment but you’re not getting both.’ #and people will STILL choose to go to the bathroom and then get pissed when the doctor is true to their word and makes them reschedule #i get it appointments are really hard to get #but we are NOT time wizards! #if you’re 30 minutes late we can’t magically create an extra 30 minutes in a day to put you in #seeing someone late often results in the schedule getting completely fucked #and the. suddenly we’re behind for the rest of the day #it punishes us and the people who actually came on time

[lucybianchi]

.

#I know I’m just screaming into the void here but anyone know anywhere hireing remote video editors???? #I just had another promising job turn me down and my current job is totally dead so I haven’t had work in months 🙃 #I really need the money but it’s so hard to get jobs #90% of them are scams or looking for someone they can pay nothing #it’s so fucking exhausting #I would have been looking for a second gig earlier but my boss gave me no fucking warning and now I’m starting to get nervious as fuck #it took me so long to get into a career job and I don’t want to go back to a service job #anyway… #don’t mind me just screaming into the void #Sophia talks too much

[tomsmother]

Pre drinking a lil to go to an expectedly awkward farewell dinner with my ex-bosses/landlords/friends.... and now the dudes dad is coming which tbh makes it even weirder? We used to be close and had lots of fun drinking together (maybe too much fun to be Appropriate btw bosses and employee but ... hey! I liked it) and now I don't know what has been said behind closed doors, but they're both so awkward with me now and barely drink and don't say too much and it's like fucking crickets when we hang?? I wanna know

#theyre a couple but both my bosses and i live on the farm where we all work #im moving tmr though like off the farm and i quit my job so this is gonna be a really weird goodbye dinner #if it was just me and the woman honestly i would probably get emotional i really like her and i am sad to leave in some ways #but the dude is so awkward and like when hes around she barely says anything?? and he is the worst at conversation #and then im like why tf would i make an effort?? so there are lots of silences lmao #and like shes definitely crossed a line with me a few times last year when drunk like flirting w me in front of her man?? 🙃 #and she has anger issues and snapped multiple times at me while at work and like had breakdowns that i tried to help diffuse #but definitely not normal or appropriate workplace behavior towards me?? and now its just STOPPED and she barely interacts with me?? #so im like WHAT DID THEY TALK ABT CAUSE SOMETHING FUCKING CHANGED #anyways not a healthy or normal relationship with a BOSS??? BUT tbh it was fun and BAD so u know i was into it for a bit #but the excitement gets old and getting yelled at and snapped at and ignored by someone you respect and like and work really hard for....? #ya not especially awesome #so im also looking forward to leaving?? but this dinner is gonna be.... brutal and weird #mommys musings #!!!!

[cosmicdisastr]

so I've been having what I would describe as restless leg syndrome symptoms for a while now but I've noticed that they're especially bad when I try and take melatonin or some other sleep aid and it's been ESPECIALLY bad the last couple of weeks. Which up to now ive just assumed was my body not responding well to melatonin and just being uncomfortable in general lately with the other health stuff ive been going thru. Well I Google it and not only can melatonin increase restless leg symptoms, but the fact that I'm super anemic rn is likely making it a lot worse too. Oh and because my mom has it I've likely inherited the condition which there is no actual treatment for and will only get worse as i age. And let me tell you. There is little in this world more uncomfortable than your joints feeling like they'll claw their way out of your skin if you don't jerk your limbs about but CANT bc you're trying to sleep/in bed with your girlfriend who is trying to sleep.

I obviously do not have RLS diagnosed but that's the only thing I can think of that matches this feeling. And it's fucking awful lol

#i have been so fucking miserable for over a month now and this is really just the icing on the cake #i cant get comfortable and im SO fucking tired #i truly cant properly express how physically terrible i have felt the last 30+ days #but i could deal with all of it if i could just sleep hard and through the night #but 🙃

[lovelyisadora]

still can’t do my papers and can’t even do the bare minimum to get two more incompletes 🙃🙃🙃 I mean I don’t have a choice I’ll have to but oh my god what has happened to me

#my other prof was like. idk if you’re gonna pass with only two of the three assignments you need because you failed your exam remember #and I was like oh right I forgot about that #and she suggested an incomplete 🙃 #my other professor also suggested an incomplete 🙃 but in order to get that one done I have minimum seven small papers to do #all are done asap tonight and I haven’t started any of them bc when I think about them I seize up #grad adventures #it’ll be okay if I can just get the work in but oh my god #it shouldn’t be hard to write seven one page papers an annotated bibliography and one 3-5 page grant proposal and yet here we are #and none of it matters if the graduate council declines my petition to extend my thesis proposal deadline bc if they do then I fail so 🙃 #anyway yeah I’m being hard on myself today but also I’ve had the last three weeks to work on these things and I haven’t been able to do its #my own fault really #ANYWAY it’s my as scheduled breakdown time and when it’s over I’ll (hopefully) be able to submit the bare minimum to get my incompletes #and this time I’ll do the damn work on time so I don’t have to petition the graduate council bc I think they’re gonna actually kill me #the good news is in a few weeks I’m restarting the medical processes of let’s find out what the fuck is physically wrong with isadora again #and that I might actually get answers bc my aunt (a doctor) is pissed off that mine doesn’t listen to me #and is going to make some calls 🙃