#but it doesn't seem to be common at least

[sophieinwonderland]

The problem isn’t plurality. The problem is the language around DID from plural communities and even the DID community. People who have DID but are in denial may take much longer to accept the diagnosis and work to better understand themselves because they may not be able to relate to how it’s spoken about in online spaces. Particularly people who do not feel comfortable viewing themselves as multiple identities in one. Although that is the most popular representation in both media and online spaces, more often than not that isn’t actually the lived experience. You just don’t see that representation as much because people with it are much less likely to talk about it due to the shame they have around it. Shame is often a major component of surviving trauma. Shame and dissociation go hand in hand. Nuance and awareness are both so important in these types of conversations. It’s sort of similar to how in the autistic community there’s a major lack of representation from nonverbal autistics, despite them making up at least 25% of the total community. The lack of representation doesn’t mean we can pretend to lack awareness of their existence.

I know you don’t believe you’re causing any harm but I’m sorry to say that you are. Which isn’t to say that no harm isn’t also being done to you. It’s just not such a black and white matter. I’m not speaking on behalf of anti-endos. I agree- it’s stupid to hate on a group of people for how they identify. I’m speaking on behalf of highly traumatized individuals who may be looking for answers and wind up getting lost and more confused.

I’m sorry if my intentions with messaging got lost in translation at all. I have a learning disability that affects my ability to process and organize language.

Thanks for the clarification, and sorry for misunderstanding your earlier post.

So let's address this.

Is this a problem?

A problem with this whole topic is, first, that I think we need to see some statistics.

And preferably recent statistics because I think identity has changed a lot in the last 40 years. Maybe there's a silent majority of people with DID who don't view themselves as multiple identities/people offline and are getting spoken over. But I would want to see evidence of that.

Even if some studies from the 80s or 90s showed that most people with DID didn't view themselves as separate people/identities, the advent of the internet age and ability to find community with others with DID likely impacted the culture around the disorder.

Even if this is the case...

Is this our problem?

End of the day, I'm a tulpa identifying as a tulpa. It seems kind of silly to me to think someone with DID would see me, a tulpa who is also plural, decide that because I'm a plural tulpa and people with DID are plural and they don't relate to me, that they can't have DID.

There are a lot of leaps there and most don't make much sense.

And all while the presentations you say are harmful are just as common in anti-endo spaces. Seriously, look at DID TikTok. Almost all anti-endo, and all presenting the way you say is a problem. And with much larger influence than myself.

So this issue, if it is an issue, isn't because of the inclusive plural community, and would clearly exist without it.

I don't think the plural label has anything to do with it.

Community Comparisons:

One of the main mantras you'll find in the plural community is that if you feel plural, you probably are plural. Every system is valid, no matter how distinct your headmates feel. Terms like "median system" were coined to denote systems who feel in between multiple and singlet, and still fall under the plural umbrella.

Meanwhile, the DID community is rife with fakeclaiming and gatekeeping of anyone who doesn't meet whatever arbitrary criteria armchair psychologists made up. All while, again, exhibiting the same types of traits you point to the plural community for. (And yes, you do say "even the DID community" does that. I just think you're underselling it a bit.)

Hard Truth: There will always be DID systems who won't relate to presentations of DID

DID, while having core traits in the way that there will be other agents or parts that can takeover, and there will be some sort of amnesia (under the DSM) is incredibly diverse in presentation.

Kluft wrote a paper outlining about 20 common presentations of DID he identified back in the 90s.

And it can only be assumed that more presentations have been identified since.

The reality is that not every presentation will be represented. Not everyone will be able to relate to every single person with their disorder. And there are going to be some people with rarer, or at least less popular presentations online or in pop culture, who are going to feel underrepresented.

Personally, I think starting from a place of "if you feel plural, you're plural" is going to benefit far more DID systems than it would harm, giving them space to explore their connections with their headmates regardless of how similar or how distinct those headmates feel.

It doesn't matter if they're people, parts, facets, voices or whatever else they decide to identify them as.

There are a lot of things that we don't relate to the majority of other plurals about. But I think the solution is to normalize being able to identify with something without necessarily having to relate to every experience under the umbrella.

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #plural #plurality #multiplicity #sysblr #system #systems

[underthehedge]

CTVT and a weird niche theory I fell down the rabbit hole about - giant transforming retroviruses???

This is a story about how a single line on a wikipedia page sent me down a rabbit hole of finding one scientist's fringe theory that's juuuust plausible enough to make me question everything while almost certainly being absolute fucking bunk.

Some background

So, on parts of tumblr at least we all know about Canine Transmissible Venereal Tumour, aka The Immortal Cancer Dog. For those who don't know, it's a cancer dogs get, usually on their junk, that unlike most other cancers, isn't made up of their own cells. The cells are actually all descended from this one dog or wolf that lived like 11,000 years ago and are, arguably, all technically that one dog. A dog that became a single-celled infectious disease.

We have a wealth of genetic, histological and observational evidence for this. As in, we know it what population of canids it came from, we know it's got a weird chromosomal structure compared to normal dogs, we know it's genetically distinct from the hosts. We also know it's not the only one out there: There's a similar thing in Syrian hamsters and also the famous Tasmanian Devil Facial Tumour Disease (DFTD).

Which made me pause when I was reading something on wikipedia about the devil facial tumour and saw a line mentioning that it was now known to be caused by a giant virus, much like CTVT. Which...huh? Oh I hadn't heard that afore.

Giant viruses

Ok so giant viruses are a thing and they're fuckin cool. They're a relatively recent discovery and comparatively huge, i.e. bigger than a bunch of bacteria. They were only discovered in 1981 and we still don't know an enormous amount about them but they're big and have large genomes and because of the way viruses are they're not easy to detect unless you're specifically looking for them.

They show up under microscopy (sometimes) and you can find them with genetic probes but you gotta already be looking for them to see that really. Current research though basically says they're more common than we think, just overlooked, and there's software out there that scans through genomic data to find sequences that might indicate their presence. There's even a possibility that one group might be involved in some cases of pneumonia in humans, though I need to stress that that's extremely not confirmed right now.

The "wait, what?" moment

So I mentioned that it was a line in the wiki article for DFTD that had me going "wait, really?", the line in question was this:

A study found evidence for an infectious agent resembling a giant virus that was capable of turning heathy cells into cancer cells. It was found to be a huge retrovirus with similar viruses being found in human and canine cancer cells.

Big If True.

So of course I check the source, which was a 2020 paper by Lusi et al. titled "A transforming giant virus discovered in Canine Transmissible Venereal Tumour: Stray dogs and Tasmanian devils opening the door to a preventive cancer vaccine".

Hang on, CTVT not DFTD? This is where some alarm bells went off because uh, as mentioned at the start, we know a shit ton about CTVT. Including the fact that it's all one specific dog. Which doesn't fit at all with the idea that it's caused by a virus transforming host cells into cancer cells.

So what fucking gives? What is this research that fully overturns decades of pretty conclusive research to the contrary?

Is this another case of Dr Barbara McClintock? Who spent decades being ridiculed by the scientific community over her wild theory that was, in fact, 100% right even if it seemed to fly in the fact of all prior evidence?

Or is this a Dr Donald I. Williamson situation wherein a scientist with appropriate training is just wildly but extremely vehemently wrong?

#science #genetics #cancer #canine transmissible venereal tumour #devil facial tumour disease #niche science #I'm breaking this up into several sections for readability #stay tuned for more #also feel free to ask any questions about stuff #I'll provide links to things as well but I know tumblr can bury posts with certain links in and idk if researchgate counts

[something-about-sunflowers]

If Ed were Orpheus he would turn around for Stede but not for Izzy, both of these are a tragedy.

If Stede were Orpheus he would turn around for Ed but not for Izzy, one of these is a tragedy.

If Izzy were Orpheus he would turn around for Ed and Stede, one of these is a tragedy (the other is a comedy).

Aaaaaaaand because I can’t get on without rubbing my Cjizzy hands all over everything:

Neither Izzy or Jack would turn around for each other, this is the only happy ending.

#the dork is being a dork #izzy hands #edward teach #calico jack #stede bonnet #steddyhands #edizzy #cjizzy #stizzy #edstede #(using the least common - afaik - version for e/s cause i don't want any crazies on my post lmfao) #to expand a bit: #et turns for stede because he doesn't fully KNOW him to trust that he will be there #ed* #he doesn't turn for izzy because he takes for granted that izzy will always be there #he might not be there if he did turn around (of his own volition or otherwise) #stede turns for ed because he doesn't trust that HE is worth following #he doesn't turn for izzy because he recognizes izzy is loyal and if he's chosen to follow him he won't run from that #(may seem like a contradiction but basically he considers himself unworthy of ed but not izzy) #izzy turns for ed because he doesn't want to hold ed to him if he doesn't want to be #(he does want to be. izzy just has the same habit as stede of thinking he knows what's best for the person/people he loves) #he turns for stede because he won't shut the fuck up #izzy and jack both WANT to turn for each other because they're scared they won't be there but they trust each other #and they trust that if there is some fucky tricks going on that the other will kick up enough of a fuss to get out of it #both are 100% willing to punch a god in the face/dick for each other #thank you for coming to my ted talk

[rotisseries]

glad to see we all like to have a normal one on byler tag dot tumblr dot com

#this isn't vaguing anyone specific I see this take a lot. both ways too #you say “will doesn't like taylor” and someone takes it as invitation to be like “you're SO right he's a pretentious little asshole” #or they're like “WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S A PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE” GIRL WHEN DID I SAY EITHER OF THOSE THINGS #the second one happens more though. at least from what I see #this happens a bit with mike too but it's less common lmao #anyway. I don't think he's a swiftie (or mike) I think it's ooc and I do have detailed thoughts on it #I've put a lot of thought into most of the st characters music taste actually I have this long ass post from october about it #and I DON'T think he's a pretentious asshole. I DO think he's OPINIONATED though #(that boy is very opinionated about things he's passionate about who remembers his review of that movie reviewer?) #but he wouldn't be like. a dick about it when el starts playing taylor around the house #but he's not a swiftie I just COULD NOT see it it isn't his taste #and for both mike and will people are like “well wouldn't they resonate with aspects of her songwriting?” #that is not the only thing that goes into music taste lmao #anyway. just. idk. byler as swifties? it's a no to me it just seems so out of character TO ME #elmax are free game though they love her! #anyway idk some of you like to project your own music taste on your favorite characters and it's fine to admit you're doing that btw #stranger things #byler #will byers

[icewindandboringhorror]

my personal Media Genres tier ranking and also Neopets Species tiers. put together in the same post just due to being adjacently related because they're on the same website lol

links to the specific tier makers: Media Genres --- Neopets

#(might have to right click open image in new tab to zoom and see some of them. tumblr always makes screenshots tiny) #Also I think this is why I have trouble finding things to watch/just don't watch media very often since I'm so so so hyper specific and #particular that I just end up disliking or neutrally not caring about like.. SO MANY things ghfg #Even being aware of my particular-ness I was still surprised to see how many were in the 'dislike' and 'not care' categories lol #Also it is so so so hard being an Action and Romance genre hater YET being a Fantasy and Historical genre lover ghhjb #EVERY fantasy story is also an action romance.. every historical story is a romance.. ouch oof taking psychic damage always #KIND of like how I LOOOOVE point and click mystery puzzle games but I also generally dislike the horror genre #but many point and click puzzle games I used to see would have horror elements or be 'scary' in some way #and it's like HHRgghh.. I just want to navigate a creepy old dilapidated mansion collecting secret codes from books but NOT in a scary way! #just like I want fantasy & historical content but NOT in an action romance way!! #Also.. NEOPETS.. I think my two favorites are both one of the most common choices and also one of the least lol #like EVERYONE loves aishas pretty much. I think they even won a favorite neopets poll on tumblr. But then nobody talks about vandagyres #or even cares about them (seemingly) and they have like so few clothes or good options because they're just irrelevant apparently #also I know it seems very uncharacteristic for the neopet that's basically A Cat to not be in my favorites but I just gjhjhbj #the eyebrows of the wocky bother me. it doesn't match everything else. Even in different paintrbsuh colors it will be #nice and cohesive and pastel or something and then two big dark lines. I aesthetically love thick dark eyebrows on people it just looks wei #rd on a cartoon cat. ANYWAY.. fun to think about #I love ranking things always #also curious to know if anyone has similar opinions... my fellow vandagyre lovers.. and action movie haters.. cutthroat kitchen fans.. :0c #AND as someone tired of romance in general & ESPECIALLY cardboard cutout cishet romances. yes I would of course like to see more lgbtq+ #stories in media etc. The genre is just not placed higher because so much seems to be Modern Young Adult Romance which of course I hate #those themes lol.. We need some drama comedies with a cast of gay 300yr old elves in victorian costume. please.. ghjgj.. (and like ACTUAL #300 yr olds. NOT 'is immortal bt still acts like an irrational 15yr old bc plot'. what abt jaded eccentric elder romance? hmM? lol) ANYWAY #always manifesting a 'high fantasy historical mystery comedy drama satire psychological character study (with vampires)' into existence lol #if I could make a tv show set in my world... the sheer power I would have.. and nobody would watch it because it would have NO action or #romance (at least none that was serious/was not framed as lame/goofy/comedic) & would have intricate complicated worldbuilding and be very #VERY broadly unmarketable.. but I would finally have a show that meets my tastes lol

[mishkakagehishka]

Ig it's just gonna be nightmares for a while now

#first sleep of the day had another one #common theme seems to be ''person i care about hurts me indirectly and when i get up and take myself out of the #situation they don't follow (which is what actually hurts)'' #i could keep it at that but i think it's time to analyse deeper #maybe it's a sign that i should stop looking at isolating and leaving the moment i become #uncomfortable and start practising saying ''i feel hurt and upset; can we talk about it?'' #at the very least i know even dream me doesn't like to feel humiliated and tries to fight back #but i don't think it's a good thing that i can be comfortable with (passive or not) aggression #but not talking it out💀

[the-acid-pear]

the more i think about kris the more my insanity increases tbh there's just so much nuance with not only them but also the player and their relationship and it's layes upon layers of them and i keep tryin to peel them off inside my brain and its going to turn me into a dc villain or something

#luly talks #like the common idea is kris doesn't like the player. that's what we all seem to believe. but the more i think of it the least true it feel #sure they arent jumping in joy over the idea of having us with them but they also constantly keep us with them #even when you look at things abouhnhjnn oh good lord #im gonna throw up hang on fuck man. i mean isnt it FUCKING HILARIOUS 🤡 how being a puppet is almost a two way thing? #perhaps not a puppet per say but. we as the player arent really free either #not at fucking all. our choices matter as little as kris #wouldnt WE want too to be free? #we literally need kris to exist. we are tied to kris like kris is tied to us. we too are a being in this world that is trapped and limited #our vessel WAS literally destroyed after all. neither kris' or OUR choices matter #now lets think for a second about the babygirl our favorite rated salesman. okay? we usually understand he's projecting he wants freedom #and we assume kris wants freedom too i mean it would make a lot of sense #but. kris is moving their blue ass down to the basement for that. we are. #of COURSE spamton says Hyperlink Blocked which is commonly believed to be LOVE as in LV which like. #WHICH LIKE IS ACTUALLY MORE TIED TO THE FUCKING PLAYER THAN KRIS IM GONNA RIP MY LEG OFF #ITS TRUE SO TRUE BESTIE DONT WE? DONT WE WANT MORE LEVEL MORE POWER? #TOBY LOVES TO BARK BACK AT HIS FANS WHEN THE FANS GET A LITTLE ANNOYING EVERYONE WAS UPSET ABOUT THE LACK OF KILLIN IN CH1 #WE LITERALLY WANTED THAT SHIT TOO #your honor i am going insane if the jury thinks this is too far im pleading insanity but listen to me #it's there. we are a character in this world as much as anyone else is. #anyway that rant about spamton and the connections with US as the player aside i wanted to talk about kris so moving on #i think that's the best thing i've said since i got into deltarune i might try put it in a decently written post if i can work out the insa #ity also if my mutuals see if and are like yeah that's good make a coherent post about it boy in which case ill say on it boss and wag my t #il and run to do it anyway KRIS. #its just interesting. i think its a bit gratuitous to assume they HATE us. do they like all we do? DEF NOT LMAO. but there's more to this #kris knows more than we fucking do and that's just a fact #they might even know more about us than we know about ourselves after all the soul has been there since before we were playing #which i dont want to ask what implies its a bit nasty to think about #nasty as in confusing btw KJFNGBJGHB #there's just a lot going on with kris and stuff like the bunker and the piano

[artekai]

I need to stop making OCs who are emotionally fucked up from being overshadowed by someone in their life who they perceive as more successful or likeable than themselves, everyone's gonna think there's something wrong with me orz

#personal #oc tag #uhmmmm oversharing in the tags so warning for that sajhdjhshj >>> #there are many things wrong with me but this one is like the least of my concerns ahjsdjfhh #BUT WHY IS IT SUCH A COMMON DENOMINATOR #artekai has aloy. fross has lis. kaito has takuto. bartenak has artekai. genuinely wtf #i haven't even started planning for jane's family and i already feel she's got the same thing going on 😭 #the only person i'm overshadowed by is the ghost of the person i thought i would be hahaha am i right fellas UP TOP 🖐 #i mean i do get jealous of people who seem to be doing much better than me sometimes and want to tear them apart but who doesn't? #i don't think i experience that feeling any more than the average person so WHY DO I KEEP GIVING IT TO MY OCS.... #at least dailah is safe because she IS desperate to prove herself but not to prove herself better than any specific person in her life #just to prove herself better than anyone who rejected her ❤️ god i hope she gets everything she wants. show those assholes #anyways i'm so sorry for psychoanalyzing myself through my ocs for the umpteenth time. do you still think i'm hot #or if you don't think i'm hot do you at least think they're hot

[murky-tannin]

Putting this under cut bc it’s in reference to the twit drama stuff. Really just me venting about a couple of tweets from Pierre for a second to get it out my system :D

//warning for r slur

Not gonna go around yelling at people or anything but as someone who thought the whole situation was ridiculous Pierre really had to come out and Actually say some wack shit in defense💀I’m not like. Horrifically angry with him. He doesn’t know the r word is a slur or who it’s used against judging by him going “why would it be used against those with adhd/autism” but like. My guy you knew it was something to at least be censored by you saying “r-word” Why Would You Threaten That Instead Of Just Saying It Fullstop If You Didn’t Know It Was A Bad Thing To Say? Aghh. It’s not the end of the world it’s just a stupid ass move on his part, esp because it’s in response to English fans accusing them of discriminatory language. Also his “why would it be used against them” just had me💀I know he barely knows what ableism means but it’s no secret that disabled people historically and currently face heavy discrimination. Use your brain. I think you know why.

Anyways just needed to vent about this. Not gonna hold it against Pierre or anything. I expected worse tbh, I’m continuously pleasantly surprised by the qsmp creators with these subjects. Sometimes understandable or even reasonable stuff can be frustrating though and making a single venty post  can help me move forward without carrying that frustration with me

#murky mumbles #twit neg #discourse #venting #tw ableism #no clue if it's a slur in France or not because 'it's just another way to say dumb' is a common sentiment and i don't trust him on that #I'd totally believe it not being a slur there ofc just not gonna believe someone who doesn't seem like the type of person to Know if it is #I'd totally believe it not being a slur there ofc just not gonna take the word a guy who (at least acts) surprised #at the idea of people with adhd or autism facing discrimination #like. not the best source for that kind of thing 😭

[rubys-domain]

now that i think about it, i wonder how the rest of the playerbase actually sees chongyun. as in everyone who's not privy to his character stories and voice lines, and who probably haven't done his hangout event either. i wonder what kind of personality they think he has

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !! #a common complaint among chongyun enjoyers is that he effectively seems to exist solely as shipping fodder with xingqiu #cuz whenever he makes an appearance in events it's always with xingqiu #the tcg event was a step in a different direction in that regard. which is a good thing #they can both be part of a limited event without being joined at the hip #but outside of the shipping thing #one streamer — who's not a chongyun main boooo (jkjk) — described him as “boring” #and he was making a “”tier list“” #(in big quotes cuz it's not an actual F-to-S tier list but more of a set of categories vaguely ordered from least to most agreeable) #anyway he put chongyun in a category he COULD make an argument for kind of. but in actuality he fits this one other category way more #which tells me that he knows jack about chong #that's all i have to go on. the only other thing about him the playerbase talks about is his weird kit and how he's a mid support at best #which is another discussion entirely #but yeah. seems like the playerbase at large sees chongyun as a character who just kinda... exists #hangouts are optional so anyone who doesn't care to do his or read his lore on the wiki just never get to learn about him as a character #kind of like an “if i don't see it it doesn't exist” type of deal. most people probably think he doesn't have any personality whatsoever #just because the game doesn't force you to see him

[dormarunt]

the madly in love part: if it's with a woman, it will be hard to take seriously, since he explicitely said he never felt with a woman what he feels for martín. like his relationship with tatiana: he says it's light and fleeting or something.

Not even that, if it's with a woman - which I think is very likely - it would be very interesting not just because of what he told Martin, but because we know how he feels about women in general. Berlin... He at least doesn't respect women, if not downright hates them.

We've seen him with women in the Mint and he was either super creepy or dismissive and mocking of them. We've seen him talk about women (~mature women ie the French teacher who "surrendered her mature flesh" to the 18 yo Andres; the way he talks about women after birth, basing his judgement on his ex wife). And Tatiana, yeah, he's very aware that it's a fleeting thing, and one where both of them have more interests than just love.

And this angle would be extremely interesting to me! Such an interesting angle to explore tbh - and in line with the canon character. But then we got "comedia romantica" and "humor" and??? I don't find any of that funny. And attempting to make a light hearted romantic romp would, imo, clash with the Berlin we were presented so far.

#can't #asks #berlermo #berlin #flashback to that Millennium trilogy - Men Who Hate Women #i donr like sweeping this facet of Andres under the rug #he MAY have seen himself as ~romantic #but he was misogynistic #another thing he had in common with Martin #maybe he feels ao deeply and differently for Martin ALSO because he's not a woman #therefore he respects him more right off the bat #and the spin-off is Andres coming to terms with his treatment of women #hoe he thinks he loves them; he really wants to #but realizes he never really did and can't #and he also see himself as gay #and it's a deep and poignant look into a man coming to terms with his sexuality - maybe hes not gay or bi #he wouldn't be the first completely het man to hate women #but then - comedy. this spinoff #the way it was presented to us at least #doesn't seem to go that deep

[donuts4evry1]

lets ramble abot my first jellyfish oc(s)

Since I'm not planning on making this idea into an actual game anymore, all lore is fair rambling game :)

Their full names are as follows:

Aurealis Aurita Vita (15) and Chrestos Chironex Vita (11)

they are brothers :)

I'll ramble under the cut, hehe

Aurealis Vita was born to Pleione Vita and Chryos Vita, two prominent figures in the noble society. He hails from a kingdom of human-marine animal hybrids, operating under a monarchy of crown jellyfish.

Aurealis themself was a hybrid with moon jellyfish (Aurelia labiata, to be exact) as well as his mother, while his father was a hybrid of a black sea nettle. As a sort of hybrid species, their hair acts like jellyfish tentacles. This fact will be important later.

Chryos was... not the best father, but his mother was loving and warm, so his early years were great.

Then came Chiro.

Aurealis was only 4 years old when Chiro was born and his mother died.

All the odds were against her with the birth. Coming from a long line of box jellyfish hybrids, there was a small chance that she could give birth to one.

Even then, newly born box jellyfish hybrids usually don't have venom potent enough to kill, but Chiro was different. His venom was unusually strong, and Pleione died in childbirth.

Everything changed then. Chryos upgraded from a not good father to an absolutely terrible father- often showing preferential treatment to Chiro and berating Aurealis for not meeting his standards. Sometimes verbally, other times physically. Sorry :(

Chiro himself was a precocious child, showing more interest in books than others. He quickly grew to be more smarter and competent than Aurealis, and stronger too. He often injured Aurealis on accident on account of his deadly hair, which would grow longer or shorter depending on his emotional state.

He still was not happy, however. He longed for affection and validation that didn't come from his father- which only came when he did something destructive.

The servants obviously feared him, and no matter how nice he was, he couldn't help but feel self conscious about their nervous demeanor around him.

Aurealis loathed Chiro, and she would bully him to make themselves feel better. He took the bullying- even internalizing it, because he felt as if his own existence were the cause of all the problems. Admist all that, he gained an interest in nematocytes, and spent much of his time studying them, and finding cures and uses for them.

Eventually, Aurealis had enough of life at home, and ran far, far away, to a whole other place full of different people and different... Everything, really. Leaving Chiro alone. Leaving everything they knew behind.

Honestly, their story came out of a desire for me to write something wholly dramatic and emotional, and I really liked it. I could develop it so much.

I latched onto Aurealis in particular, because her story involved heavy themes of self-hatred and the different ways to cope with it. They belittled others, they acted the opposite of the way they actually felt in a "fake it til you make it" sort of way (ie. ore-sama like). Of course, I give him a redemption arc, but they eventually have to deal with the fallout of their actions and I think that's great :).

Chiro, on the other hand, dealt a lot with gifted kid burnout and a different sort of self-hatred. He feels immense guilt for events that he had no control over, and seeks to fix them. He doesn't feel worthy if he doesn't have anything of worth to offer anyone, and his story is just. Incredibly sad.

Especially since terrible things could happen to him (I haven't decided yet tbh). Which I will ramble about in a different post. All I will say is that I named his theme is named "Lethe" for a narrative reason, hehe.

So anyways. They're the perfect comfort characters.

Recently I've been super into writing the brothers as adults (hence the florist Aurealis) and... Ugh. I've been missing them more and more lately, especially since I still need to write and design for Ite!

#Aurealis uses all pronouns by the way while Chiro just sticks with he/him #you guys might um. See some similarities with Chiro and Katsuo now that I am talking about the Vita brothers more #I drew a lot of inspo for Ite with this first story. At least character writing wise #Aurealis and Momoka also have. A lot in common. More than I intended and realized #God. Writing really does repeat itself every so often doesn't it #Um. #This story was created during my jellyfixation infancy. So rn everything seems so.... Basic to me #Aurealis and his mom fill the basic ''helpless'' role with one of the most helpless jellies- the Moon jelly #(originally based Aurealis and her mom on different species- but I feel like it makes more sense for them both to be the Aurelia aurita) #Chiro is literally the epitome of box jellyfish #And Chryos is a scary dad and the scary hyrbid of jelly- the black sea nettle #The sea nettle also eats moon jellies which was a subtle nod to. Um his meanness I guess #Anyways now I feel like my jellyfish creations are a lot more creative haha. #I guess I've improved a lot in 2 years. But I still come back to this story for comfort sometimes haha. #It's pretty solid . Even if it's basic #mun rambles #ocs #aurealis aurita vita #chrestos chironex Vita #my art #I'll draw their adult designs later #It's actually. Pretty interesting how they've both grown. #Aurealis and Chiro still have somewhat of a rocky relationship. Even though Chiro is willing to forgive Aurealis he hasn't fully processe- #-d his own baggage yet. And to prevent others from getting hurt he tries to suppress as much strong emotion as possible so. Yea he's strug- #-gling #tw dysfunctional family #tw child abuse #Um I think that's it haha

[thomas-mvller]

You know when people say "hi so this account will go inactive from now on, friends please dm me to give you my other sns so we can stay in touch xx"? if somebody paid me for all the internet friends i've lost due to me not asking those people for their socials fearing i wasn't that much of a friend to them to do it...... i'd end world hunger

#it's ridiculous i know but like how to know????? #anyway last year a friend from a fandom we used to have in common said she was dropping the thing bc she wasn't much of a fan anymore #as in she was uhhh more of a casual fan now #and so she announced she was abandoning her twt account to create a new one #and yep: she said 'mutuals hit me up on private so i can give you the handle of my new acc' #AND I KNOW we were friends. a decent amount at least #but she never reached either. as in maaaybe 'hi cloud so I'm deactivating this is my handle' or just follow from her new #so i just.... didn't #and she deactivated #fast forward to today when a friend we had in common replied to a picture of someone who seemed familiar... #.....it was my pal!!!1 #and now idk it's been over a year already she probably doesn't remember who i am anyway #BUT YEAH this has happened more than once so :)(((( #rambless

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

okay i finished going through all 55 pages of l&o fanfic on ffn (i did not read them all, but i do think i read all the kincoy), so maybe i'll put together a fic rec list soon 🤔

#there's technically three i've set aside to savor lol so i'll probably read those first #BUT. otherwise im all out of fics methinks #which means i have to write what i want to read. why. cruel world #there was a mike x nina fic i read which was SO galaxy-brained #here's what i learned from my ffn experience: #jack x abbie is probably jack's second most popular ship but some of the authors really seem to hate claire 💀 #jack x nora?? that's also a thing apparently??? and lennie x anita is also pretty popular #i was scrolling so far back in years that queer fics were being called slash #i've just noticed the term doesn't seem as common anymore?? if anyone who knows about fandom history want to share why feel free to do so #**wants #im curious. i would like to know #oh also 99% of recent fics were 'cutterosa' which i think is connie and ig the post-jack eada #lots of variants on aftershock fics! claire's dead claire's in a coma kincoy happy ending claire's a ghost etc. etc. #oh my god. yk what was unbelievably common with aftershock fics?? claire being pregnant #i just. im. this fandom lmfao #last but not least: fandom racism and homophobia rears its ugly head #there's a palpable absence of rey fics and i'd argue ed fics too #and the treatment of serena 😭 my girl deserves better #i need to go through all the l&o fics on ao3 ig #i think i've been through all the kincoy and all the fics with jack on there #anyways. too much talking in my tags!! #amy rambles

[anendoandfriendo]

The sun is bright and passionate as in "it destroys everything in its path without an anchor, it will BURN YOU if you stare into it for too long, it can be harnessed only if you're gentle enough" and the moon is calm and stable as in "I control the very tides of the ocean that is your emotions, staring at it too long will actually put you into a stupor because its almost too gentle, its possessiveness is a much different monster than the sun" and the earth is home as in "so corrupted by the hatred of the other committed by its most sapient its populations, it is crying constantly, erratic, sometimes it becomes an angry motherfucker and sics a storm on someone, its trying its best but its So Much" fuck you the sun and the moon and the earth need each other so they don't fall apart that is the only way life can go on

This is as much of a shipping post as it is a sysian post as it is a shitpost, which we are sure our plural followers can tell but probably not anyone else, so, here you go, for clarity.

#WDFK WHY THIS JUST SEEMS TO BE THE MOST COMMON THING? SYSIAN-WISE AT LEAST? #this would be dysfunctional in the EXTERNAL world. the INTERNAL world. however. because we share a brain its so much easier for us to see #or feel where the boundaries are so its somewhat less fucked up sometimes. #so its super interesting to us to see where those lines would be different if we did NOT share a brainbody. #we love assigning sun/moon/earth traits to characters (and simply hoping it doesn't get awkward for our Xives who don't act like that tbh)

[x-for-a-y]

people think the reason the tourney scene is inaccessible is strange tourney concepts, slightly weird rpf, inside jokes, crossover incongruity, or some other thing. but you know what really puts off the outsiders? all the bizarre fucking recurring musicians from years ago the rest of the world has moved on from & rap battles and shit

#this post is mostly not a joke a major thing that curbed my interest in the broader scene for a long while #was use of rap battles/other video game (etc) parody songs. those specifically bug me #and fucking rwj also keeps showing up in tourneys. his music regardless if he's directly repped #& bo burnham. & porter robinson. & omori music. & others you can probably think of #not even Just the ''had a good showing in at least one tourney #or fits under a popular genre/flavor source or was just one person's fave'' #music that doesn't seem to have real Reason for staying around except that people maybe found it funny but unironic enjoyment's common too #and the injokes. they're part of this too. i can't imagine being introduced to tourneys #through tpt & seeing opila bird & fortnite ''ninja'' & whatnot #or prizm and. well. i think everything to do with the figments? maybe that's not inside joke territory really. how about most of the game #it's not mwm's damn fault it's one of the most accessible tournaments out there it's the way every other tournament keeps stewing #. this maybe should've been two posts