#but in reality I'm too hyperfixated on other interests to sit down and watch it ☠️ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aclowntiny · 7 months

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Hiiiiiiiiii! So I have a new hyperfixation

And I'm thinking I totally need to know

Who in ateez is mlt to let you hypnotize them

Ngl hypnotizin your friends (or ur boyfriend) during some game nights or parties seems fun

Ooh interesting! One day late 😅 but a good Halloween post hehe

Most Likely to Let You Hypnotize Them

Most: San, Wooyoung, Hongjoong

Middle: Yunho, Jongho, Yeosang

Least: Seonghwa, Mingi

San is up for anything! He’s adventurous AND he trusts you. Naturally curious, once he hears about it San is eager to experience the sensation, if any, so he may even ask you about it. Preferably without the other members around though if you want to make any embarrassing requests! San isn’t a horror guy, so in his mind this would be much more fun to celebrate Halloween or get into creepy stuff than a haunted house or scary movie! Wooyoung is a lot like his bestie, very curious and up for a challenge. He trusts you too and kind of likes the whole ‘do what you want with me’ vibe! Would probably crack a tom of jokes like ‘ohhhh, what are you going to have me doooo?’ so feel free to shut him down and tell him he’s going to be doing the chicken dance soon! 😏 He also loves the theatrics, so he’ll want all the lights off and every bit of performance you both can put in! For a serious practice, he sure has you guys laughing! Hongjoong would also be down to try it- he’s curious, too, and always looking to explore different muses and ways people express themselves. Who knows, maybe the motions and sensations can inspire things in his mind! It’s also a way to get to know you and he wholeheartedly wants involvement in anything related to your passions, even if it means getting hypnotized! Hongjoong will likely also request it’s just between you two, though, because it is a more personal, vulnerable moment in his eyes.

Yunho is good-natured, so he’d probably laugh the first time you bring it up, then gape and say ‘oh, really?’ But when he sees how serious you are, sure, what the heck? He’s sitting down asking if you’re going to swing a watch in front of his eyes or make him look at swirly stuff. Probably while imitating the swirls in front of his eyes. ‘Wooooo!’ ‘Yunho, you have to be quiet!’ ‘Oh, sorry.’ It’s a fun time, you guys are both laughing by the end of the night and he probably asks you to teach him some new dance moves. Jongho is down, but sort of in the way of ‘prove to me this is real’. He’s very practical and grounded in reality, so without offending you he may be thinking hypnosis is some movie BS or that his mind is strong enough to resist! So it’s a challenge for him, one he’s shrugging and giving you a determined smile into as he sits down. He can’t keep a straight face as you stare deadpan into his eyes, bursting out laughing several times, but he really does want to see what it’s all about even if he just feels he’s watching a performance . After all, you’re his favorite person to watch! Yeosang is kind of similar to Jongho where he isn’t sure he believes it’ll work. He’ll make the most jokes and quips about what you’re going to make him do, but in the end he’ll try it without much actual reluctance. He probably also has questions about how you fell upon this interest in the first place because he’s never known any hypnotists before- not that that’s a huge shock! Probably the best at keeping serious and deadpan once he gets into it because he isn’t sure what to think lol.

Seonghwa is a little hesitant at first, probably asking some questions about if you can bring him back, but it’s just because he takes the art seriously. He’s the type who wants to believe, so it’s something potentially powerful in his mind. Once you assure him you won’t make him do anything bad or do anything to him per se, he sits down, eyes boring into yours so seriously. You may need to reassure him that it’s ok, but he can never say no to you, don’t worry! Mingi is so the type to talk tough when you bring it up, but when you sit him down to do it he’s like ‘Wait whoa what about-’ and then he has a bunch of questions. He’s sort of 50-50 on if he believes, but he doesn’t want to be wrong if he laughs it off so he asks questions on if it’s permanent or if he’s going to get haunted. In the past, he has mentioned being scared of demons and evil spirits, so things like hypnotism even if they aren’t as spiritual would probably elicit some concern. So he’ll want an education on what it really is and entails once he finds out you were serious.

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #who in ateez #ask #anon #requested #1k party 🪅

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moonstonehailstorm · 7 months

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I recently discovered that I am autistic. I wish I could say I took it calmed and with positivity, but no: it was a mess.

A friend of mine shared a page called Embrace Autism, and I know a lot of people don't value the self diagnosis, but those tests are validated, updated and revised by several doctors and professionals.

When I did the first, my score was high but I laughed. Everybody is a bit autistic, right? This can't be right. Then I took another test, a longer one designed for adults who scape diagnosis due to masking and other conditions. I scored high again. I was not laughing anymore, it started to feel weird. Then I made another, and high again. This couldn't be real... I started to look for information focused on autism in adults and it slowly started to make sense. I couldn't believe it, I didn't want it to be real.

I surely started to cry, because the reality sunk in like million bricks. I've always related to Sheldon Cooper, but that was a joke, right? Well, maybe not so much... And all those times my mom would tell me to sit down correctly, to do or not do certain things, the way I don't understand sometimes social cues, how I learned to smile to people copying one of my cousins because I watched her do so, I never smiled as a kid and nowadays people think I'm too serious... Things like fidgeting, hyperfixate on stuff and having special interests, infodump my friends and be very conscious that I annoy them, categorize things, having misophonia and sometimes misokinesia, being absolutely unable to eat hot food or shower with hot water, and be extremely sensitive if someone pokes my arm... A lot of stuff that people considered exaggerations or calling me straight up crazy now have a name.

It was not easy... It still isn't and I'm still discovering stuff. And it hurts to think that I've changed things due to criticism, or just to fit in. And sometimes I catch myself remembering things and realizing it was my autism. For example, I once said in a job interview that I tend to focus on details a little bit too much as a weakness... It is not appreciated by neurotypicals for us to focus on the little bits instead of the big picture, and that's just wrong, that's rejecting myself and that's not who I am.

It's been a complicated process. And this takes me to another point: no therapist ever told me I may have autistic traits. And all of my problem regarding to selfharm was actually related to my autism. It was selfinjurious stiming. Needless to say I started to cry again when I read an article about it because every single piece that was missing finally found their place and the huge amount of relief that came after was incredible.

This is going to be a long process of self acceptance and discovering. I've spent almost all of my life wondering why anxiety didn't fit at all, or obsessive compulsive traits, things I thought I had and that have been suggested by professionals in therapy. None of them noticed I am neurodivergent. But now that I know, I can take the following steps that I actually need, and finally heal parts of me that were not broken, they were just misunderstood.

#actually autistic #asd #self diagnosed autism

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ragonfana · 3 years

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this is just a vent in the tags so feel free to scroll by if you don’t want to read it. gentle reminder our vent tag is “it’s time to taste the pain!” if you don’t wanna see our vents /nm

#rag rambles #it's time to taste the pain!#feeling a pretty nasty depression coming on and just feeling absolutely hopeless because i cant stop it #sitting back like a passive observer watching my mind and body slowly shut down #i know the symptoms and the behaviours but what's the point if it only makes me worse?#if all i can do is agonize over it and make it worse #knowing that i'm getting worse #my apprenticeship at my job is supposed to start soon. i'm scared of that #scared of what will happen if my depression gets too bad and i can't do the job well enough #i need the money. i'm out of my entire life savings at this point and i dont have any other options #honestly thinking about that stuff is probably just going to make me feel even worse. but it's a fact of reality...#that i think i have to face as well. i have to own up to the knowledge that i may lose my job before i ever got t he chance to start it #i think the worst part is the joy bleeding out of everything #3 hyperfixations/special interests ive engaged with recently all to momentous joy and energy #and sitting here feeling that all drain away #KNOWING that i have been joyous before and in fact even recently felt it #and then sitting here and acknowledging that i may not feel that joy again for days or weeks or months #if i had the capacity to feel angry right now i would lmao #i'm sure naxius will be angry enough for me #ive gotten through it every time and i will again im sure #but that doesn't make it gargle cock and balls any less #i'm talking about this in a lot of places #in my own private discord and on here and with my partner #i guess as a sort of like. notification. and a cry for help #not that i know how anyone could help me ? i guess more as a notification then #i've made some lovely friends through madness combat and if i just. fuckin.#fall through the face of the earth and stop talking i am genuinely sorry

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batfam-bish · 2 years

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Hi! Can I have a dc matchup? My pronouns are she/her and I’m fine with male or female preference.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: I’m a Slytherin. My moral alignment is true neutral. I have massive introverted tendencies and am awkward in nature with new people. As a result I can come across as aloof and indifferent. I absolutely despise small talk. However with my close friends I’m quite friendly, outgoing, and confident. Whenever I’m with my friends I can get really giggly and dorky when talking abt my recent hyperfixations. I tend to either overthink everything or not think at all. I’m a bit of a control freak and want to do the things the way I do them but I won’t enforce this on anyone else. Just let me do things the way I do them. I'm also quite dedicated on what I want in my life and will stand by those decisions.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Art. Any art honestly. Though I mostly work with digital mediums. That is, I love to creative code. I’m currently studying digital media arts with the hopes to be a video game designer. Apart from this, I love other mediums of art too especially drawing, digital illustrating, and printmaking.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: let’s just say I spend way too much time daydreaming. Fan fiction, video games, movies, books, tv shows. Anything that lets me daydream and disappear from reality for a while is a hobby of mine. I also love working out and weight lifting.

Thanks 💜

okay so a couple of characters came to my mind but the one i ship you with the most would be megan. i’m going off of the young justice version because it is the one i’m most familiar with.

you two would definitely start off as friends for a while before it becomes something more once you both get to know each other and open up.

She wouldn’t mind that your introverted and would in fact rather stay in anyways because she could be more herself (the whole being a martian thing)

Megan would love that you have a neutral alignment because she be doing some questionable things sometimes.

if you let her, she would listen to you talk about your hyper fixations for hours with nothing but a huge grin on her face

Megan also wouldn’t mind having no small talk. like you guys would either be sitting in complete silence or chatting up a storm, it really just depends.

She’ll always help you with you’re overthinking no matter what it is about. Megan would really put you first.

She also wouldn’t mind you wanting to be in control of a situation because she completely understands.

She would love how dedicated you are to your decisions and would support you 100%.

as for your interest in art, she would be so supportive. she would love anything and everything you make.

Megan would love to watch you game literally anytime.

feel free to talk about any daydreams with megan because she def has them herself.

also, she wouldn’t care at all about you reading fan fiction. in fact, i feel like she would get you to tell her about some of the cringy ones so you can both have a good laugh.

She would always be down to watch a good movie or show with you and she’ll pay so much attention especially if it’s one of your current hyper fixations.

Also the same about books ^^^

Megan would work out with you occasionally but sometimes she just likes to watch (not in a creepy way but in a “that’s my gf, look at them go” kinda way)

Megan’s not obsessed she just enjoys your company i swear :)

#young justice #young justice matchups #matchups #dc matchups #Megan yj #megan young justice #megan morse #m’gann m’orzz #miss martian #megan morse young justice #megan morse x reader

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words-writ-in-starlight · 6 years

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hi, it's the adhd anon again. according to the dsm-v, i think i have it, which is weird bc i've never seen myself as having more trouble than others. (my grades are better than almost anyone else in my grade.) (although that might just be bc i'm interested in what's being taught - when something's not interesting or too hard, i have a pretty hard time doing it.) anyway, if it's not too much trouble, what does feel like to stim/hyperfixtate for you? (i'm so sorry to bother you in advance)

Hey, dude, welcome back! So, okay, first things first: the stereotype of someone with ADHD automatically doing terribly in school is based heavily on the original diagnostic criteria, which categorized ADHD strictly in terms of “young hyperactive white boy who has violent outbursts and/or disciplinary problems and Just Doesn’t Do Well in academics.” And there are people who manifest ADHD like that, it’s a stereotype with roots in reality--a lot of people with ADHD either consistently struggle with academics or eventually reach a point where their previous focusing techniques fail them.

However.

I left high school for college two years early, and if I hadn’t, I would probably been valedictorian of the graduating class, because I had a GPA well above 4.0 due to my general habit of doing extra credit whenever it was offered. In college, I had a reputation for turning in beautifully complete lab reports and essays five pages over the minimum requirement. I got high honors on my thesis, graduated magna cum laude, and finished a pre-medical major in half the recommended time period. When I was a kid, the phrase “savant syndrome” got thrown around a lot, to give you some context.

On the other hand, I manifest a lot of those stereotypical ADHD symptoms: I’m loud, I interrupt people a lot, I have erratic and overwhelming mood swings that I struggle to control, I fidget incessantly and can’t stand silence, I have a tendency to get destructive when I’m angry, I have managed to seriously injure myself because I couldn’t resist a stupid impulse more than once, and if we’re all being honest, I would never have graduated high school at all, because I was on the brink of expulsion for getting into fights during class periods.

It’s easy to feel like “I never really struggled academically” is somehow a counterargument to any and all symptoms of ADHD that you might manifest, but it’s really not. (Heck, sometimes ADHD is even helpful--I finished my thesis a full week before anyone else and had time to fix my citations, mostly because my ADHD responds well to pressure and that crunch time hyperfocus Had My Back.) It might take time for you to come to terms with this idea, and that’s okay! But try to at least consider it.

All that being said, I am actually gonna answer your question, I just got distracted because the amount of time I spent making the statement “I’m faking having ADHD because I did well in school” is mindblowing and I have a Thing about it. Forgive my ramble.

Stimming: I’m going to answer this first because the answer is going to be the most useless. The ways I stim tend to be vocal/auditory stuff (I talk a lot when I’m alone, I sing and play music when I’m doing menial tasks, if I’m really anxious I’ll hum a single note until I calm down) or tactile stuff (sometimes destructive things like scratching my arms, sometimes neutral stuff like tapping my fingers in specific patterns or rubbing my palms over my jeans or the leather of a jacket or something). It’s mostly things that ‘pass’ for neurotypical with very few exceptions, because I trained myself out of a lot of my ‘non-passing’ stims (rocking back and forth, knocking into walls, hand-flapping, that sort of thing) really young. As for what it feels like to stim, it’s just...good. It’s sort of like the brain equivalent of running your hand the right way along velvet, and discovering that you’ve been rubbing it backwards all along. Or like the equivalent of stepping into a cool shower on a really hot day--it’s not that it’s miserable outside the shower, it’s just that the shower is extremely good. I have a playlist of music that, for whatever reason, hits the right combination of voice and rhythm and notes and words to make my brain suddenly get calm, and it’s not necessarily my favorite music or a cohesive collection of tunes or anything (featuring Six Shooter by Coyote Kisses and also Human by Rag’n’Bone Man, which have nothing in common), but it’s Good.

Hyperfocus: You didn’t actually mention this, but I think it’s worth mentioning because it’s one of the hallmarks of ADHD. It bears more than a passing resemblance to the concept of “flow”, but turned up to 11. Hyperfocus is the state of being so overwhelmingly tuned in to the thing you’re currently doing that everything else falls away--which is fine, unless you’re one of us folks who can hyperfocus ourselves right through meal times. It’s inexorable, it’s all-consuming, and it can feel pretty fucking great, which is why it’s important to be careful and find a way to hydrate yourself. The primary difference between hyperfocus and flow is that hyperfocus is generally involuntary and does not necessarily tune you into something you planned or wanted to pay attention to. If you ever see me publish a fic that includes a note about “I didn’t mean to write this but it’s 2 AM so here”, that’s code for “please validate me, I’ve been hyperfocused on this for two or three hours and I failed to do a lot of important things as a result.” The other thing about hyperfocus is that afterwards, the drop coming off it is a real bitch. It leaves me feeling hollowed out, exhausted, and kind of pettily disinterested in anything that would usually hold my attention. Being hyperfocused is like being a machine designed to do one thing and one thing only and doing that thing feels incredible; coming off hyperfocus is like being an overtired toddler.

Hyperfixation: Hyperfixations are the ADHD equivalent of a special interest, aka: that thing you’ve been struggling not to pester every single person you know about, every single second of every single day of the past two and a half weeks. Were you around, dear anon, when this blog was Only Animorphs, All The Time, and if you didn’t give a shit about morphin’ teens you just had to sit down, shut up, and learn some stuff, or else unfollow me? That’s what hyperfixating looks like. Sometimes it’s useful stuff--do you know how unbelievably useful having a hyperfixation on triage techniques is to me? I crushed my triage training, I owned that shit, I wrote a whole chapter of my thesis on it. Other times, it’s...well, Animorphs. Or the American Revolution. Or X-Men. Or dinosaurs. Some random shit like that. Learning about hyperfixations, talking about them, is generally pure unadulterated joy. On the other hand--oh, God, listen, I know how annoying I am, but I cannot stop myself. I know I haven’t talked about anything but Animorphs in three weeks, I know I’ve made forty-five TAZ posts today, whatever you’re about to complain about, I already know, okay, I am aware, and there is nothing more painful than to have a fucking out-of-body experience watching yourself rattle on about a hyperfixation while the other person obviously gets bored in front of you. And then you try to keep your mouth shut and it physically hurts not to talk about the thing. It’s hard to describe what it ‘feels’ like except that ADHD brains are magpies at their core and hyperfixations are the shiny, shiny objects your brain wants to take home.

Anyway, I’m not sure how useful ANY of this has been, but like. After a certain point, you kind of have to trust yourself enough to decide, once and for all, whether you really, truly believe you’re faking a neurological disorder for the attention. If the answer is no, then great! You have sussed out your symptoms and can start managing them accordingly, whether that’s some helpful apps on your phone or medication or something in between. If the answer is yes, then you probably need some therapy, and your therapist will be able to help you get to a point where you feel able to trust yourself.

Go with the neurodivergent gods, my dude.

#adventures in adhd #actually adhd #stimming #hyperfocus #hyperfixation #advice from starlight #HELLO FRIENDS THIS IS UNDER A CUT BECAUSE I RAMBLE #LIKE #CONSTITUTIONALLY UNABLE TO NOT RAMBLE #anyway ch'boy wrote some stuff today #and now i'm answering some asks #so really what i want is a pat on the damn back for getting shit done THANKS #idiot teenagers with a queue #anonymous #asked and answered

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