#but i've just been feeling drained

[unreadpoppy]

i'm probably gonna shy away from writing for some time cause life is hard and i have no energy, so some hobby is gonna get sacrificied

#like the depression + anxiety + executive dysfunction have been kicking my ass lately #hopefully i'll be back on meds soon and that'll help #but with my classes coming back on the horizon only god knows #also i've been lowkey unmotivated so that doesn't help #i wish i could make a copy of myself and have her do the writing #cause like it's the weird spot where i like writing #it makes me feel better #and i have all the ideas and stuff #but i've just been feeling drained #emotionally so i can't bring myself to type things #it's complicated

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

me mere seconds from being discharged from hospital: I am so excited to finally go home!

my body dead fainting on the spot for absolutely no discernible reason: bitch you thought

yeah anyway guess who's stuck under observation for another few hours 🙃

#lula's life #hospital #breast reduction #I've always been prone to fainting but this was a bad one #I had like every doctor in the vicinity descend upon my hospital room #there had to be at least ten people in here at one point #I feel fine now and hopefully it stays that way so I can LEAVE #also my drain sites won't stop leaking #this apparently is not especially concerning it's just very annoying

[blues-of-randomness]

Ya know what's genuinely sad? Any time I speak up about my opinions about smiling critters ships, Again nothing against them I enjoy alot of the ship dynamics but I am uncomfy shipping them myself (unless I'm making something for a mutual/friend), I genuinely start prepping yself for a wall of harassment to come my way-

#smiling critters #ships #vent #I feel so drained #it might just be the spring heat coming #but whatever #I've been wanting to say this ever since Amber gave their opinions on the ships #And mutauls don't feel bad cause I never felt pressured t ship them

[fdragon-art]

Day 160 - Stretching One's Back

"With those shoes, it looks like John's about to start a run.

...does John even do runs normally?"

#homestuck #john #john egbert #year 4 #art #It feels like it's been a while since I've drawn a body with any level of serious intent even though the last one was just over 2 weeks ago #(And the last body I drew was only 5 days ago which is hardly any time at all pfft) #Honestly this map has been draining but it's really coming along~ ^^ #But its biggest drawback is sucking away creative energies for other pursuits (except when I'm weirdly energetic it seems XD)

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[silenthillbunni]

🍽️😔🎻

#soo blah blah need to vent again abt my health issue situation 💀 #yuh so like im so sick nd tired of whats going on. nd not being able to just eat whatever i feel like whenever #it's emotionall draining tbh. im always thinking abt what i could maybe try nd im always like ohh gotta make sure the portion is small etc #it's annoying me sm bc i can def feel the effects of me not getting the right nd enough nutrients nd vitamins etc etc #i get dizzy nd my vision is hazy sometimes. nd im like forgetful bc the other the when i walked home i kept getting lost nd had to walk back #nd forth several times nd i was like ?!?!? what?! i've lived here for 25yrs nd now i just cannot for the life of me rmbr the way #also i am so weak in my body. like carrying even a small amound or books nd groceries nd walking for 30min makes me exhausted #my legs are actually shaking when i get back home nd every step feels like im walking in cement #plus i just wanna be able to go to the gym nd build muscle. but if i dont get enough protein in me i cant build muscles T-T #what else... yeah also i do miss food bc of comfort. like my coffee + chcolate everyday makes me genuinely happy lmao #but i just want the food situation to be normal bc even w veggies im like oh no that is too gas building that is too hard to digest etc etc #it's mentally gruelling to not know how tf to get all the important nutrients!! i def have several deficiences lmao :(( #im so over it. but theres nothing i can do. i wish i could just not think abt it 24/7 tho #also. im the thinnest i've ever been BUT. i am constantly bloated so i look fkn pregnant. so i cant even enjoy looking the skinnier

[totalspiffage]

My brain feels like it's been in a complete fog for like 6 months but I'm trying my best. That and the resurgence of nerve pain and NEW pain in my spine has been great I love bodies.

#trying to catch up on basic human things but it's like #every time i start to get anywhere #things set me back or i have another crisis that drains me mentally and physically #I've been wanting this wheelchair and i can't get it even tho it's literally like 1k off the usual 4k price #bc i just had to buy a car and spend my savings and more on fixing my old car #plus I'm not getting hired and don't have energy for auditions which is #great #I'm tired and i feel like giving up #but oh no now i have to finish maybe buying a house and dealing with family and moving #so that's fun #anyway if I'm quiet that's why I've been so isolated #the house isn't my own money obv but it's bc my grandma sold my late dad's place so she wanted me to have a place #that's the only way we're getting houses gang #i don't wanna be ungrateful it's very exciting it's just a lot and I have to be put together about if

[soraeia]

.

#negativity #ish #(( So I've kind of had a hellish week so far #mental health-wise #and despite trying/wanting to be active on here I am just a bit emotionally exhausted and drained )) #(( I had a v bad nervous breakdown yesterday and I'm still recovering a little )) #(( and I was wondering if I could get a little positivity on here ;u;?)) #(( life stuff aside--I've been feeling a little down about my muses and writing lately and idk )) #(( I know when my brain is telling me lies but at the same time knowing that doesn't always make me feel better ))

[muselexum]

<3

#sending you all so much love #it's crazy how a year has zipped by #every so often i'll come by and check up on the dash and i love seeing all the familiar names <33 #I'll prolly write a more official post in the new year at some point #but im so eager for this work contract to end at the end of this year #im grateful for the job in many ways but in others it was really burnt me out and drained me #ready to turn a new leaf in the new year #and hopefully get some of my creative motivation back when my mind clears #ive put even art/painting on the sidelines as well this year which is something im sad about #but on the positives I think ive had a lot of personal and emotional growth this year that im really proud of!! #(still dont have a driver's license though.. LOL OOP) #and ive really worked on my anxiety and depression. like even if this job is burning out and depressing me// I don't feel DEPRESSED ya kno. #ive just been experiencing a lot of personal growth and change #and the people around me in my life have told me that they've seen changes in me this year too so :') #BUTTTTTT #I so so miss my creative outlets and I feel like I've neglected that this year #I went from escapism to fully avoiding the outlets so now I think it's time to transition into the healthy middle #anywaaaay #hope yall have been doing amazing #love u all and ill probably pop in here for the holidays <33 #blows u all kisses #ooc #tbd

[se-agapo-skywalker]

me looking at just how many unanswered asks i have

#I SEE THEM ALL I PROMISE I AM WORKING ON THEM #i've just been feeling insanely drained lately and it is A Time #also weird imposter syndrome being like 'I DONT HAVE A PLACE IN THE LUKE FANDOM ANYMORE EVERYONE HATES ME I DONT BELONG HERE' #nahhh it's all good. mostly. #anyway i'm gonna try to get some done today? can't make any promises though

[simlishaccent]

Hello!! Can I ask what cc eyes are you using in your sims?

hello hi :)

default eyes

#wcif #my absolute favorite ones #you just reminded me to do my resources page that i keep postponing #i promised to do it but i've been feeling so drained :(

[powerfulkicks]

fatigue is one of the worst feelings in the world because you want so so badly to do something, ANYTHING, but you can barely manage to get out of bed and it doesn't even look like you're trying when you're trying SO HARD to do what you used to be able to do....

#sitting upright drains me of energy #i feel like i'm sick #it might be my depression or it might be another symptom #like i've been fatigued but i could push past it #now i just can't #i can't do it #even if i try super hard #and that's crushing #i've always been told to just keep going #keep trying #i've always thought i could just keep going no matter what happened #no matter how tired i got i could push myself to go further #but for some reason it's not working #and that's frustrating

[coquelicoq]

yeah sex is great but have you ever unflooded your street by removing leaves from the storm drains using the litter-grabber tool you bought from lowe's two weeks ago for that exact purpose?

#every year my street floods in the autumn when it rains heavily. usually multiple times. every year!!! #i hate it it's so stressful. and of course the cars keep driving down it even though it's unsafe. a lot don't even slow down #and they throw up these huge walls of water with their passage #the street becomes totally unusable for pedestrians wheelchair users bikers strollers etc. #it's just the worst. and every year i'm like oh i should get a thingy so i can do something about it #and i never do in time. but this year. THIS year. watch out world #i cleaned out the drains preventively a few times in the past couple weeks but today is the first day of somewhat heavy wind and rain #so i went out this evening and two of the four drains were completely clogged :( but i got out my tool & as soon as i cleared a little spac #a whirlpool formed and sucked all the water into it! with this amazing noise. it was fantastic #then i cleared away the rest of the leaves cuz that tiny spot would get covered up very quickly otherwise #i came back by an hour later and they're still looking great <3 i'm basking in the afterglow #it is funny how much easier a homeowner could do this than me. those people have yard debris cans #they have space for shovels. god. a shovel. my kingdom for a shovel #i'm just piling the leaves on the curb one handful at a time and then leaving them there (out of the way of everyone of course) #because i have nowhere else to put them and no way to transfer them farther distances #but it's mostly just apartments near this intersection so we gotta do it for ourselves #anyway i'm probably gonna have to do it again tomorrow because there are a lot of dead leaves out there right now #but man! i've never been able to do anything about this before except call the city and wait for them to send someone. this feels so good

[yukipri]

The Prime Override will update on Monday evening instead of tonight!

Y'all i tried to be on top of things before the con but it just did not happen ;_; So in lieu of losing sleep and feeling horrible tomorrow, I've decided to postpone my fic update until Monday, after I've returned!

The next chapter is written and completed, but I still need to do a final edit of it, finish responding to previous chapter's comments, and edit the endnote down to under AO3's character limit amount, all of which usually takes up most of an average Friday.

Given how utterly exhausted I am, for my own health and sanity I've decided to delay it this week so I can prioritize being awake at Anime NYC. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding!

In case u want to recap last week's chapter (or new folks want to check out my big current fic project!) here's the link to the fic!

#YukiPri rambles #thePrimeOverride #i'm sorry y'all i really tried #(and kinda tmi but the biggest reason i'm not feeling on top of things is shark week struck at the absolute WORST time #and so i've been feeling horrible and struggling with stomachache/headache/awful mood/severe blood loss #all combined with inability to eat/drink (i did not take off my mask once during entire con hours) #and severely limited ability to go to the bathroom #and just real drained y'all ahahahaha) #I'm doin' me best ;_;

[magentagalaxies]

i have so much work to do for finals season which is frustrating bc on the one hand i'm very glad all my classes have project-based finals where i get to be creative instead of just doing an exam or a paper. however. i have a bad habit with every project-based final ever of accidentally getting an idea that's way too ambitious and creating more work for myself than i need to do

however this semester even tho i fell into that exact same trap my two most elaborate final projects each involve 1. editing a video essay which contains an interview i did with paul bellini and at least 45 seconds of it are bellini talking about why he thinks i have great potential as a comedian, and 2. editing a ten minute reel of the documentary footage i got on tour with scott. which of course involves rewatching various videos of me and scott being extremely chaotic together. so i stay winning ig

#my other finals include ''powerpoint presentation detailing the historical significance of mel brooks the producers'' #and ''live sketch show that i actually don't have a significant role in but that's fine i have a different sketch class next semester'' #(this sketch class was technically ''creating characters and solo performances'' and i really wish i could've done more) #(but also that whole interview-footage-debacle drained so much of my creative energy so sometimes doing the bare minimum is self care) #so i don't have a solo piece in the show. but i do get to say my favorite line in the whole show in a group sketch which is great #and i did sign up to perform an aubrey monologue in a sketch show in a suburb of boston next week #which is gonna be super interesting bc i've been looking to do more performing outside of my college #bc i've found that i don't think college kids are actually my target audience??? or at the very least i want to perform to a wider audience #it's frustrating bc for that show i have to trim the monologue down to 3 minutes but it's the tightest monologue i have and it's 5 minutes #so trimming it down feels like a game of jenga since it's so tight lmao #but honestly even if the performance bombs i'm mostly doing this so i can tell bellini about it lmao #he's so supportive of my comedy and he's been such a great help with my aubrey monologues i feel like this is bellini homework lmao #anyway i probably won't post the video essay publicly bc it's not the style of video essays i want to make #and it's too specific to the class it's for #but if people are interested in watching it i'll send you the vid when it's done #and for the tour video i'll probably post that or at least some version of it #bc that's just gonna be a fun teaser of ''here's the level of behind-the-scenes content you'll be getting from this doc!!'' #and also a fun way to be like. audiences don't know me nearly as well as they know scott #but they will definitely know me by the end of this bc there are so many wild interactions i have on camera of me and scott being chaotic #anyway this post was mostly to organize my thoughts of what i still have to do this week #i am so ready to be done with school lmao i'm gonna be spending a full month in toronto this summer #and it's shaping up to be such an exciting time i can't wait

[atinyladybug-daydreams]

Advice from experience: Be VERY careful on spending money on games, especially if what you're spending money on is like, limited events and shit.

Once you're in, you're IN and it's very, very hard to get out of mostly because of guilt and not wanting to put down stuff you've spent hours grinding for.

#alt rambles #rants in tags #recently started putting down and breaking off of a game that i've been grinding on for two years #and realised how much more time i have on my hands #and how much less draining my daily life is #and that i have more energy and time to do stuff instead of spending 2-3 hours every day to grind on the game #yea i spent 2-3 sometimes 4 hours per day just playing this game on a daily basis for the last 2 years #because i spent money and a shit load of time and effort in it #so putting it down genuinely makes me feel a lot of guilt #cause i feel like its such a waste #but like idk #i got really frustrated the other day and so burned out i gave myself a few days break and hoenstly im doing so much better than before #and i actually have time to do other stuff and do more art that now im starting to like #not want to go back to playing the game anymore #lmao yea if you know me you know what game im talking about #i mean i still love the game but damn was it fucking predatory and its only gotten worse thanks to new updates imo #it was fun before and now its just endless grinding #anyways #its another reason why i dont wanna pick up playing genshit even though i really want to #cause i finally got scara (thanks friend who logs in sometimes) #cause like i know genshit will also do that to me smh #anyways idk its just been on my mind lately about how i have unhealthy relationships with a lot of video games #i think im just going to stick to games like sdv and sr that don't have event after event #so thta i can go for breaks without feeling bad or like im missing out