#but god I’m so fucked if it’s not just my anxiety like uhhhhh haha I don’t even talk to him anymore as of YESTERDAY

[guava-jarritos]

you know when your stomach’s been kinda upset for a couple weeks now and you start to get a little worried like..... I take my birth control every day and this week was the first time in months I’ve had unprotected sex anyway...... but......... bro........ 😳

#don’t rb #I’m just trying to pacify my anxiety here #like uhhhhhh #I’m probably gonna grab a few tests from the dollar store tonight just to clear my mind but that little anxiety voice in the back of my head #is like..... bro bro bro oh fuck #like I just started seeing this new guy LITERALLY this week there’s no possible way it would be his #the last time before that I had unprotected sex i ended up getting bored and leaving before either of us finished.. and that was MONTHS ago #the only option I could see would be my ex #but we only hooked up a few times in that time period and it was always protected #and again #I’m religious about my birth control #so it’s probably just my anxiety.....? #but god I’m so fucked if it’s not just my anxiety like uhhhhh haha I don’t even talk to him anymore as of YESTERDAY #he literally said our friendship is over yesterday #what am I supposed to DO 😅😅😅 #a n x i e t y

[lululawrence]

Annual Writing Self Evaluation

Thank you for the tag @louandhazaf!!! I’m honestly clutching my chest that you tagged me, so thank you xxx especially since i love this little self eval that i think @juliusschmidt came up with all those years ago and we just keep perpetuating it haha

this... is going to get long, though. since it asks me to list my works published this year and that is 24. so. here goes.

1. List of works published this year:

Swerve the Handshake (Nick/Louis)

Need So Much of You (Harry/Louis for @onedirectionbigbang)

You're A (Total) Distraction (girl!direction and hybrid Harry/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Always Keep You Next To Me (Greg/Louis for @wallsficfest)

With Your Hand In Mine (Nick/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Smells Like Omega Spirit (Harry/Louis for @1daboficfest)

If Only We Wish Hard Enough (Harry/Louis for @disneydirectionfest)

Political Pizza (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Talk the Night Through (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Wrinkles (Harry/Louis for @1000feelingsfics)

Would You Be My Girlfriend? (girl!direction Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Lately You've Been On My Mind (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Don't Want It Any Other Way (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

I'm Ready for the Worst (Greg/Louis for @louisandmenfest)

Loving You's the Antidote (Nick/Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Do You Know Who You Are? (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Don't You Call Him (What You Used To Call Me) (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Gone Too Long (From You) (Harry/Louis co-written with @fallinglikethis for @finelineficfest)

Just Me and the Stars Can Get Lonely (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

The Way You Bend the Rules (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

And Then I Saw His Face (Harry/Louis for @1dtrickortreatfest)

I'mma Give You A Promotion (Nick/Louis)

What You Waiting For? (Nick/Harry for @1000feelingsfics)

(I'm Dreaming of a) One Night Inn (Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam, Niall/Shawn)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

every time i think about this question i’ve got a different answer, to be honest. i do think my I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy series is probably what i’m most proud of, though. as soon as i knew @runaway-train-works was going to be hosting the heartbreak weather fic fest, i knew i wanted to write dear patience, but as the idea grew and grew and more ideas solidified and i realized what the story was turning into, i realized it was so much more than i originally thought and i needed a second song to help me fully get a solid grasp on it. in the end, it was a hard duo of fics to write, mainly because i honestly don’t know much of anything about golf, i was still trying to create fully the way soulmates worked in the world, and there’s just not all that much about rory online to find, so i was winging it haha but i’m so incredibly happy with the world i made and the fics i wrote, even if i don’t know that they’ll ever get to like 200 hits or whatever hahaha i love them.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

uhhhhh you know looking at this list of fics i have, i’m actually proud of every single one for some reason and i don’t know if there’s any of them that i’d even label as “least proud”.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i hate this question and forget that it is on this list every year lollll let me see if i can find something i really like. okay i found one, it’s from my long grouis haha and i’m apologizing now for it being so long. you can skip ahead to the next question if you like, but i’m just incredibly proud of the banter and the way i wrote this section, PLUS those damn joggers actually happened because he posted a photo of himself wearing them in the shops on instagram and that inspired this entire thing so. enjoy. (i’ve italicized it and indented it to hopefully make it easier to skip it’s so long i’m so sorry)

“It’s safe for you to come back in here,” Louis called out as he closed his computer. 

“Thank goodness, I was getting so exhausted of hiding in your bedroom and snooping through all your shit,” Greg said as he walked out wearing a sheet mask and a pair of grey joggers that did nothing to hide what he was packing. 

Louis smirked and wanted to say something, but Greg kept going. 

“Did you know you have like five different deodorants in there?”

Louis threw his arm on the back of his couch and nodded. 

“Why?” Greg asked, throwing himself down onto the couch and placing his stupidly long legs on top of Louis’. “Who legitimately needs five different deodorants? Do they have different uses or something? Some were even women’s deodorants, so I wasn’t sure if they were your sisters’ or what. Oh, and I helped myself to one of your fancy toners. It had rosewater in it or something.”

“Well, for the deodorants I just like trying different scents and I switch them up based on my mood. And actually, the one I use most often is a women’s deodorant. It works great. Plus I smell fresh and clean like baby powder all day.” Louis shrugged. “And that wasn’t my toner. Dunno who left it. Just showed up one day and no one says it’s theirs, so I kept it. It’s quite nice, isn’t it? Lotts said it’s supposed to help even out the PH balance of my skin or some shit, but I’ll be fucked if I know what that actually means.”

“Oh, that does sound fancy,” Greg agreed, checking the time on his phone. “I’ve got five more minutes on this mask, don’t let me forget. Don’t want to leave it on so long it burns my skin off or summat.”

“Sure,” Louis said, laughing. “So are you actually wearing anything under these or are you just that excited to see me?”

“Eh?” Greg asked before looking down at his crotch. Of course, now he was sitting down it didn’t show anything. “What are you on about?”

“Stand back up and look in a mirror, mate,” Louis said, laughing. “You’re dick was trying to tell me hello a minute ago.”

“I didn’t tell it to do that,” Greg muttered as he shifted so he could stand back up again. He walked into Louis’ bedroom, and Louis could hear when he’d seen himself. “Oh my God, that’s obscene! Does it always look like that when I wear these?”

Louis laughed and walked into his bedroom to see Greg’s eyes wide as he shifted himself around and walked a bit, appalled that no matter what he did, nothing seemed to make it any less there. 

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen you in those. You usually nick a pair of mine,” Louis reminded him. “Do you wear them without pants often?”

“I never wear pants with these,” Greg said, rubbing his forehead. “Fuck, I’ve likely given that nan that lives below me too many looks at my cock without even realising it. They’re my softest, most favorite pair of joggers! I wear them to the shops when I’m too knackered to get fully dressed!”

As Greg continued to narrate the various escapades he’d had over the years in the joggers without even realising what he’d been doing, Louis settled onto his bed, propping himself up on his elbow so he could still watch Greg as he motioned about in distress.

When it was clear Greg wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, Louis pulled out his phone and started filming. There was no one he could share this with, but it would be good for a laugh later on.

“Fuck, and you didn’t remind me to take off my mask!” Greg cried, rushing back into the bathroom to remove the sheet mask and do whatever else he had to do when he used them. 

Greg was proper obsessed with them, said they were relaxing and kept his skin soft. Louis just liked knowing they were one of Greg’s things, like taking regular baths with a bottle of wine and perusing various adoption websites for dogs he could possibly give a good home to.

“Sorry, love,” Louis said, as Greg walked back out of the bathroom. He really was sorry, but he also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to keep taking the piss. Greg was too much fun to rile up. “Was distracted by your big dick flopping about whilst you remembered all the good times you’d had in the joggers.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i’ve had a few this year that told me they don’t usually read that pairing or they don’t usually comment on fics, but for various reasons they gave the pairing a try or wanted to comment because of something specific and those were particularly lovely. that said, every comment is so so great, they really do boost me up to see them and i need to do better with getting my anxiety in hand and responding to them regularly.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

this entire damn year, man. all of the time i’d carefully carved out for myself over the past few years to write was basically blown to shit with the pandemic, which also was so exhausting it didn’t leave me with much energy to write. but i still somehow posted 24 fics?? i dunno, dude. i think writing saved me and gave me something to look forward to, tbh.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

most of my advent fic, tbh lollll a lot that was in there wasn’t really brainstormed ahead of time, it just happened, and i forgot some of the details even because i just flat out didn’t remember what i’d put in there, so i’m STILL surprised haha i love when fics happen like that

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i always think of challenges as fun and then i look back and wonder if i was insane because i thought it would be fun to try something new but it was mostly really fucking hard haha i wrote a lot of pairings and combinations of tropes this year that i never have before as well as stretching myself with writing emotions and situations i never have before, so i’m quite proud of myself for continuing to push the envelope and try new things like that.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i mostly hope that i’ll be able to carve more time out for myself as things HOPEFULLY settle down a bit more. i might not be as impulsive when it comes to choosing things to write at that point, but we’ll see. lol

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i... hmm. there’s a lot of people i’m thinking of right now, but it’s hard to choose just one. i think actually there were two and they were @louandhazaf and @disgruntledkittenface. i very much admire both of them for their own writing and works, but i am particularly inspired by how many pairings they write and the variety of fics they have posted. it’s definitely because of them that i’ve tried writing a lot of the pairings that i have, and that’s before you even start to look at the help they’ve given me with betaing certain fics (usually rare pairs lollll). they’re just both so supportive and open to so many things, and i am so much more open to all sorts of things because of them. i CANNOT answer this without mentioning the Write Your Way Out GC either, though. Y’all are my crew in SO many ways and you let me rely on you in every way through this past year. it really does take a village, doesn’t it?

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

lmao i’m sure. but all i’m thinking of at the moment are the tumblr posts and canon compliant shit i based the fics on, so nothing off the top of my head apparently haha

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

hell if i know. maybe just... write for yourself. i think that’s why i’m so proud of every fic i wrote this year. i really was writing for me and if others like it too? bonus. 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

my big bang!!! that’s the big one. i’m so excited for it. i have a whole list of other fics, too, though. hahaha i’m also super SUPER excited for both of my omega harry fics to post hehe 

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@becomeawendybird @sadaveniren @londonfoginacup

*All answers should be about works published in 2020. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want.

#mine #2020 writing meme #self eval #writing self eval #writing stuff

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #392

“l.a. is where stars come to die”

Do you think there’s anything you did better when you were younger? I think I was a better writer, honestly. Like I've developed in some areas, like being less over-dramatic, but I just think my creativity in wording and such has dulled down. Who was the craziest teacher you’ve ever had? I've never had a "crazy" teacher, honestly. What’s the last thing you got paid to do? Take pictures. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone else? How should I know? Ask either Jason or Sara. Have you ever wanted to model? No. Have you ever seen someone have a seizure? I THINK my sister? Teddy had seizures in his old age, too. What’s your favorite car? I don't have one, really. Do you know any HTML or CSS? If yes, how much? I know veeeeery little basics. LIke, I can change the color of shit and that's about it lmao. Do you tend to care about the lives of celebrities? Why or why not? Only celebrities I really really care about, like Mark. What do you think of the scene style? #aesthetic and I will ALWAYS be envious of the hair. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? Oh god, I remember one. What is the highest you have been up, other than in an airplane? On a certain faire ride, I wanna say. Is there any hope of you ever seeing your favorite band in concert? Ozzy does want to do another tour at some point, but he's fighting Parkinson's currently, so it's not guaranteed it will happen. Mom and I planned on going to his last one that was scheduled, but the diagnosis cancelled it. :( What is your favorite non-green vegetable? Uhhhhh I guess potatoes. What is your favorite non-traditional fruit? I don't think I've even had a non-traditional fruit. Just basic stuff. Have you ever had Swedish Fish? Yeah, I'm not a fan. What is your favorite origami shape? Birds, I guess. Do you usually take the stairs or the elevator? I pretty much always take an elevator if one's available because my legs can barely handle stairs at all. It's agonizing for me. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. What was the last takeout food you had? I had a burger from McDonald's a few days ago. Do you take the pickle off your burgers? No, I love pickles on burgers. Do you share a bed with anyone? Just my cat. If you’ve read or watched Harry Potter, which book/movie is your favorite? I haven't. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? I re-installed DragonVale. What do you know the most about? Meerkats, Markiplier, and Silent Hill, probably. What TV shows can you not stand? What's that stupid show on Adult Swim, Rooster Teeth or something like that? That shit was so dumb. Have you ever tasted your own tears? I mean not intentionally. Sometimes tears just fall down a spot where it happens. Are your legs hairy? I can almost guarantee to you that I probably have the hairiest legs of any woman you've ever met. Do you like Cheese-Itz? I love them! We don't really buy them though because both Mom and I can destroy a box of them. Have you ever built a sandcastle? I have. Did you ever watch Barney as a child? Yeah, I loved Barney, but not as much as my older sister. She literally "married" him, haha. Have you ever had a pet rabbit? No, but my older sis did as a kid. That poor thing died and Ashley didn't know for THREE DAYS. Mom took it out earlier and I guess she wanted to see how long it took Ash to notice? She didn't take great care of it, so. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Yes, my friendship ring with Sara. To you, what is especially distracting? Tapping noises. When was the last time you did some major cleaning? MAJOR cleaning? Good question. How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? It sickens me. Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? Nope. When are you likely to lie? Probably when I don't want to seriously hurt someone. What is a personality type that you do not like? I hate people who think they know everything, are unwilling to acknowledge their flaws and work on them, feel they're better than others, are closed-minded, sexist, bigoted, racist... What is a personality type that you DO like? I am drawn to people who are empathetic and try to understand and consider more than just themselves, are caring and genuine, philosophical and think deeply, are calm, friendly, good listeners, and have a light sense of humor. Which of your friends is the least like you? In what way? I actually don't know. MAYBE Mini with her being extremely conservative to a frustrating degree and overwhelmingly religious. We diverge pretty strongly in beliefs that are important to me. How about the most like you? In what way? Sara! We have incredibly similar interests and morals, and we both are wild over animals. When was the last time you felt under-appreciated? I'm gonna be completely transparent here, even though it's uncomfortable to admit. I was very unhappy with the literally two interactions a poem I was really proud of got on dA. Like it was one I was trying to get published prior to just posting it there, so it was really disappointing to feel so overlooked when you worked hard on something you felt came out great. Does anyone take advantage of you or take you for granted? No. Are you taking anyone for granted? I sure as hell hope no one feels like I do. I definitely try to appreciate those I have to the utmost. What is one selfish thing that you do? I prioritize my alone time probably too much. How about something selfless? I'm pretty much always willing to listen to people's hardships and comfort them even if my own mental health is in poor condition. What do you like to do on your favorite holiday? Just be with family and really focus on how lucky I am to have them. What helps you fall asleep? I guess really paying attention to slowing my breathing, but that doesn't always work. It takes me at LEAST half an hour to fall asleep, so I struggle no matter what. Is there anyone you wish you were still friends with now? Megan. I really, really miss her. What is a fear you want to overcome? SOCIAL ANXIETY. UGH. What is something you do not like about yourself, with good reason? I'm lazy. What do you usually cry about? PTSD. Do you like pizza better on the second day? No. What do you like on your pancakes? Butter and normal syrup. Have you ever made up your own emoticon? I don't think so. How do you generally meet people? Online in one way or another. Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? No. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, "God Hates Your Outfit" by Jeffree Star lmao. Look, it's catchy. Can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? No. Have you ever wished to be an internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one? No. Like I've actually *loosely* considered trying to be a let's player with my love of games, but I don't even want to *risk* popularity; not that I think I'd get to that point, but still, I don't like the chance. Have you ever been kayaking? No. Do you still live with your parents? Yes. Do you believe you will never get over someone? I think Jason will always occupy at the very least a small corner of my mind. I just deal with loss so poorly in general, but that... that breakup was something. What do you order at Burger King? I don't like BK. Have you ever lived by yourself? No. Pretty sure I never could with my depression. What brand cell phone do you have? It's just a Tracfone, lol. Did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? Yes, my stuffed moose. What is your lucky charm? I don’t have one. Have you ever been in a wedding? Yeah, I was a bridesmaid in my sister's. Do you believe in yourself? ehhhhhh What time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? I don't live with him, so I can't say for sure. He's a mailman though, so he gets up early, I know. Who was the last person/people you were in a car with? Mom. What movie do you plan on watching next? I've been meaning to watch Jacob's Ladder for like... over a year, lmao. It served as an inspirational work for Silent Hill, and I know its reputation is brilliant, so I really want to see it. I just... don't really watch movies unless I'm in the theater. When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Gasp or go "what the fuck" or something along those lines. I can almost promise a curse word is coming out of my mouth, lol. Using song lyrics, say something to your most recent ex: I don't wanna get emotional digging through the songs that remind me of her, so pass, lol. You can only watch 4 TV shows for the rest of your life. What are they? Meerkat Manor, That '70s Show, maybe Pokemon even if I don't watch it anymore (it could be like a comfort show if I'm limited to four), aaaaand I think Ginga Densetsu Weed. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? ... Yes??? There are a couple that have for me. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? I'm not having kids, sooo I don't have to worry about this. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. I'd be really upset if some did, but I wouldn't cry. Who is your favourite famous person who isn’t a singer, actor, or athlete? Well, I WOULD say Mark, but considering he's officially an actor now... guess not, haha. Uhhhh. Put him aside and I guess maybe Bindi Irwin. I'm not sure.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''god hates your outfit'' by jeffree star

[sweet-royalty]

I Don’t Want to Make You Feel Uncomfortable

Summary: Roman wanted to dedicate a song to Virgil on a karaoke night but is afraid his Social Anxiety will make him not enjoy this so much

Genre: Songfic

Word Count: 1,467

Pairing: Romantic Prinxiety

Content: Karaoke; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; No Angst; Just Pure Fluff; Genderqueer Roman (They/Them); Brazilian Roman and Remus; Morally Neutral Remus; POC Sides; Song: Still Into You (Paramore); Portuguese written with no translation

Trigger Warning:  Implied/Referenced Drug Use and Addiction; Cocaine; Juul;

Ao3 Link

Wattpad Link

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The lights on the club were blindly bright and Virgil was not comfortable with this at all. He tried to sit as far from the crowd as possible so he wouldn’t deal with all those self-absorbed people staring at the weird black goth there, more than they were already.

- Urgh, of all places why the fuck did you brought me here, Roman? - he mumbled with himself wondering where his partner could be.

They went to get some drinks and Virgil asked to stay waiting but he was starting to get anxious. What if they never come back!? What if they got lost!? What if some weirdo spiked their drink and they fainted on their way and Roman was kidnapped!? What if-

- Helloooo – Roman’s voice gladly interrupted his thoughts with an angel voice and a kiss on the cheek. Virgil immediately sighed in relief and snatched the drink from their hands taking a long sip from the straw

Roman giggled.

- I’m sorry, this place isn’t as good as I thought it would be. I saw some good reviews on it but this place is full of snob people.

- It sure is… - Virgil grunted.

- We can go home if you want-

- No way! You spent your money on it – Virgil laid his head on the latine’s shoulder and took another sip - I’m not letting it be on waste. Let’s stay for a while.

Roman smiled as they also laid their head on him. Feeling those soft hair locks on their cheeks and his shampoo smell was so relaxing that they almost forgot about where they were… Well, both of them.

Virgil’s hand slowly reached Roman’s as he closed his eyes just feeling their warmth on him. If it wasn’t for the crowded space, this would be a perfect relaxing time. Why didn’t they just stayed home watching some random Disney movies until falling asleep like they always do? It would be so good… Just the two of them.

- Well… There’s another reason why I brought you here, actually – Roman said scratching their neck nervously.

- Oh, yeah? – Virgil arched his eyebrow with a small smile – What is it, Ro?

- Well... I know how nervous you are with crowds but there’s something I’ve always wanted to do for you and I didn’t know how because I know how anxious you get around other people… - they took a deep breath that filled the goth with curiosity – It’s karaoke night and I wanted to dedicate a song to you BUT don’t worry, I’m not announcing it or anything! – Roman started to avoid Virgil’s eye contact at this point, too scared that their boyfriend would be mad at him or even disappointed. Their green eyes staring their own lap – I know you’d feel desperate if everyone started to look at you or if I announced your name in front of them but… I’ve always wanted to sing something for you just to say how much I love you so-

- Hey, your majesty… - Virgil smiled at them, turning their head to look at him while rubbing his thumb on their cheek – You are the loveliest dumbass I’ve ever met, you know that? You didn’t have to plan all of this for me, I’m not even worth all this effort-

- Yes, you are! – Roman frowned at him - Out of all people you’re the most worthy of any effort I can make and I’ll not accept you saying otherwise!

He scoffed, sealing his lips on Roman’s gently. That hopeless Disney royalty would never fail to try and make something big and elaborate to that embodied nightmare, and he’d never complain about it.

- You’ll never learn, huh?

- You should know that brazilians never give up, my love – they winked mischievously, making him smile

- Pff, yeah I can totally see that. Well, go there then, make this night worth it

- Glad you said it, because I’m the next one to sing and I need to get ready! – They kissed Virgil’s forehead before rushing off – I’ll be right back!

Virgil waited anxiously until he heard his partner’s name being called.

That beautiful human coming up the stage with the spotlight illuminating their light brown hair, Roman’s eyes landing on him followed by that heart-melting smile. He wished he could be mad at Roman for dragging him to this stupid place just to sing a song for him… But he couldn’t… He could never.

"It's not a walk in the park to love each other But when our fingers interlock Can't deny, can't deny you're worth it ‘Cause after all this time I'm still into you"

He smiled. Virgil would never guess this type of song for Roman but his voice somehow fitted wonderfully with this song. And the goth boy found the lyrics perfect for them.

"I should be over all the butterflies But I'm into you (I'm into you) And, baby, even on our worst nights I'm into you (I'm into you) Let 'em wonder how we got this far ‘Cause I don't really need to wonder at all Yeah, after all this time I'm still into you"

Well, he could reciprocate with this part a lot. The butterflies he was feeling at that exact moment were the best proof to it. If they were a Disney character they should be the one with the best and most powerful song and he was sure that Roman would ace on it like literally everything they do. He would never admit it but Virgil could stand there and listen to Roman sing all night long, no matter what.

That voice, that dedication, that love they give to their own work like a blacksmith forging a sword to a god… He was in love with it. He was in love with every single aspect of that proud, stubborn and perfect human.

They were both SO into each other.

————————————————————————————–

Roman came back to Virgil cuping his face into their hands and kissing him, while feeling the embrace of his arms around their waist. They touched each other's foreheads, Roman was gliding their thumb on the black shiny skin looking deeply in his eyes.

- So… What did you think?

- You tried to find an emo music, right?

Roman laughed, now putting their arms around Virgil’s neck.

- Yeah, I did

- Well, you failed miserably because Paramore is not emo anymore but it was a lovely song and I could see the meaning you gave to it so... – he kissed them again – I loved it, baby

- Haha, well at least I tried

They were about to kiss each other again when Roman’s cellphone started to ring making them sulk in frustration

They answered it and sat beside Virgil

– Hello? – Roman sulked after hearing the answer – Que foi, rato de esgoto!?

“Oh, they’re speaking portuguese” Virgil thought “It’s probably, Remus”

- E quem disse que eu sei onde tá essa porra!? REMUS, EU TÔ COM VIRGIL PARA DE LIGAR PRA FALAR MERDA!

- Uhhh... Is everything ok? – Virgil didn’t know portuguese but all this time with the twins were enough for him to learn that hearing “porra” and “merda” meant that someone is cursing, and that someone was Roman

- Yeah, yeah he’s just- REMUS, NÃO CHEGA PERTO DO MEU QUARTO! SE TU ESFREGAR ESSA TUA CARA CRACUDA NO MEU QUARTO EU TE MATO, PESTE DO CÃO!

After a few seconds of silence Roman put their phone back on their pocket mumbling furiously about how Remus is a “puto nojento” which means double angry, not in portuguese, but in Roman language.

- He hung up in my face, that stupid asshole!

- What’s wrong, Ro?

- Urgh, Remus is doing drugs again in our apartment and asked me if I knew where his... – Roman stopped looking around as if searching for something - Uhhhhhh… His… - they started to snap their fingers, nervously - Caralho, qual o nome desta merda em inglês? … Uhhhhh you know that thing people use to smoke but is not really a cigarette!? Like an… e…letric thing? Eletronic? I don’t know…

- … A juul?

- YEAH, THIS THING! He asked me if I knew where it was and when I said I didn’t know, because I don’t mess with this stuff, he said he was going look for it in my bedroom! BUT IT'S NOT IN MY BEDROOM, DAMNIT!

- Oh… I see…

They sulked really hard throwing their back behind to lay in the wall.

- I don’t know what to do with him at this point

- Well, maybe we should go home then. We have our own things to take care of – He said, fixing on his jacket and getting up.

- Yeah… Sorry about it, little nightshade

- Eh, it’s fine, your majesty – he kissed them quickly, holding their hand – Next time we’ll go to my place and binge something on Netflix, deal?

Roman smiled and rubbed their noses together before getting up.

- Deal.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #ts roman #ts virgil #ts remus #remus sanders #romantic prinxiety #sides of color #poc!sides #brazilian creativitwins #black virgil sanders #latin creativitwins #ts princey #ts anxiety #ts creativity #tooth-rotting fluff #sanders sides one shot

[softswiitch]

oh man.. it’s been a few weeks 😅

I’ve had tumblr deleted up until now.

I’ve seen him twice in two or three weeks... it’s been so wonderful.

The first time, we had a nice wholesome time and we went to these orchards slash petting zoo thing? It was so sweet. I made a video for him with footage I had of the trip.. it made him really happy, and I still watch it to make myself feel better when I’m missing him. And uh... a thing I didn’t expect at all??? His husband invited me to have a threesome with them ?!? Which... caught me 100% completely off guard. Just typing about it now is giving me butterflies again.. I was listening. I was listening to them from the other room... I’ve never gotten to like... listen to people from another room. My voyeuristic ass was so turned on over the whole thing. But to top it off after they were done, my love comes into the room and snuggles up with me and tells me about how his husband wanted me to come join them. I was.. BLOWN the hell away. Especially since he told me his husbands never invited anybody into bed like that before.. //?!? It made me happy in this weird off handed wholesome way, too. Like the fact he’s never done that but he did that for me. And a part of me nags at the back of my head saying he’s not actually interested in me whatsoever and is more doing it for my love’s sake but like... I DUNNO. Haha. My brain likes to do backflips to make shit negative. I can still convince myself his husband doesn’t like me if I dwell on that thought for .5 seconds too long tbh. Regardless... it made me happy. And super turned on 🤪 especially since that entire day I’d been thinking about how to ask without sounding like a weirdo?!? I’m in love with my soulmate, duh, but like I also get the hots for his hubby.. in the very specific way that he is my love’s husband. Also he’s pretty. And has big hands that I sweat over. -loud nervous laughter- my darling fucked me that same night and uhhHHH I talked dirty to him about what I was hearing from that other room.. HHH wow yeah that’s gettin me HEATED again- anywho—

That trip was lovely. 😋

I visited again this last weekend cause we were going to a musical together! And HOLY SMOKES! it was so much fun!! The night I got in.. they uh. Had some fun in their room again and I got off and it was a good time HAHA. I was invited once more and I was... HEAVILY inclined to. I really wanted to... I just wish I wasn’t so nervous. Though my love was nervous too. We’re both just SHY. I think my biggest hangup.. is uh. NOT KNOWING WHAT I’D... do... I expressed to him last night I have this performance anxiety. Like I feel like I’m super boring in bed ?? 😅 ESPECIALLY WITH... someone I barely know!! Ehehe. Im worried I won’t.. be. Like. ADEQUATE. I really don’t know how to word anything 💦 I fear being disappointing. But oh god do I wanna fuck them both. I really wanna hop into bed with them both... IT WOULD BE SO EASY IF WE ALL JUST... had a night where.. we all cozied up to watch a movie and maybe have a few drinks and just start making out the way my darling and I always do but with an added husband bonus HAHA//// I think the more organically it happens the more comfortable I would be. Not that I’m h uncomfortable when I get invited. Just gives me too much time to overthink and psych myself out. Hehe// anywho... The trip in NY was good, a little bumpy in the middle cause my love had some bad brain time with idiots badgering him but.. it ended on a nice note. After we got home His husband went to bed and we stayed up.. all night. Getting High and having sex with twilight zone playing in the bg ehehe. Ohhh man I just. COULDNT GET ENOUGH OF HIM. thinking about it again is making me light headed ohhh yeah. He made me cum so much it was dizzying. I think the smell of pot is gonna straight up make me horny now LMAO

The next night was the same. Our last day together was cozy. We had nothing planned, it was nice to just lay out and be together. He spent some time watching tv with his husband and then we meandered down and got high and did it ALL OVER AGAIN. Except we straight up didn’t sleep the second night and just. Had. A lot. Of sex. OHH BOY... so much. He brought the brat out of mE, man. He edged me so hard and so long (or at least it felt like an eternity) I cussed at him and told him I was gonna kill him 🤣 and he got mean with me and edged me more and made me melt and made me crumble into him. It was a very intense orgasm. HO BOY. We stayed up all night.. he’d have to cover my mouth and tell me to keep it down. It was so hot?!? We went upstairs then waited for his husband to go to the cafe he frequents at. And then we fucked one more time and I got to be loud and cry out for him and it felt SO good to finally be vocal after having to more or less keep it down the whole night.. my hearts DRUMMING.

Last night he told me he loves our sex and it’s some of the best he’s had?!?!? Which caught my ass off guard considering I feel like a shy Virgin every time sex comes up. So that made me genuinely happy, too..

Anywho that’s enough recapping. I’m in love with my boyfriend.

#soulmate #naughty talk #trip no. 3 #trip no. 4 #yes i will number all of them. also i need a new strap on

[boredomleadstosurveys]

End of Year Review

1. First things first, did you have a good year? It had its ups and downs, but overall? Amazing. 2. How old did you turn this year? I turned 24. 3. Do you feel your age? Yes, in some ways, no in others. 4. Did your appearance change in anyway? Lost a bit of weight, accepted my girly side, finally started bringing colour into my wardrobe, got some scars, fucked up my thumbnail... 5. Post your favorite selfie. No. 😂 6. If you traveled, where did you go? Stoke, thriving metropolis that it is. 😂 7. Which fashion trends did you love? Boyfriend button ups, thick brows, lashes, the final acceptance of ginger hair, oh my god. 8. Which fashion trends did you hate? That like wavy brow thing? And glitter in your parting? What on earth. 9. What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? I've been entirely neutral on all the clothes I've worn this year apart from the boyfriend button up I got like...last week, lmao. 10. What song sums up this year for you? Oh god, probably something cheesy like Taylor Swift's Fearless. 11. What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? Ed Sheeran's Divide. 12. What was your favorite movie of the year? I've been exceptionally bad at watching movies this year, but I did just see Bright and loved that, so, uh...that. 13. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? Amybeth McNulty in Anne with an E! 14. Favorite new TV show? Anne with an E, probably. Peaky Blinders? Silent Witness? (Not even new to me, but like...newly watching episodes, not just catching bits here and there?), Bones, Making A Murderer, etc. 15. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? Uhhhhh Anne Shirley-Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe, take my fucking heart and stomp on it. 16. What food did you try for the first time? Halloumi, I guess? 17. Did you make any big permanent changes this year? Hell yeah. Left my fiancé, moved house starting building a proper relationship with my mother, all sorts. 18. What was one nice thing you did for someone else? Moved in to take care of my mother and help her in her recovery. 19. What was one nice thing you did for yourself? Gave myself the time to heal enough to start creating art again, to start reading books again, to start listening to music again. 20. Did you develop a new obsession? Hmmmm, delving deeper into history? 21. Did you vote? Yes. 22. Did you move? Yes. 23. Did you get a job? No, I've kept the same job I've had since June of 2016. 24. Did you get a pet? Briefly, yeah, but then she disappeared, sadly. 25. Do you regret not doing anything? Nothing I can think of. 26. Do you regret doing something? I wish I'd been nicer to some people, been more upfront to some people instead of letting things carry on that I wasn't happy with. I kind of appreciate the breakdown I had, but I wish I didn't scar so badly, since the scars are very noticeable. 27. Have you done anything that scared you? Yes, yes, yes. Admitting I wasn't in love with my fiancé and getting the courage to finally leave, facing the issues with my mother, admitting that I am severely depressed and have crippling anxiety and a self harm issue, admitting that I've always been in love with Joseph, finally letting myself believe that he loves me back. 28. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? Oh, absolutely. Mostly just office bullshit, though, thankfully. 29. Did you lose anyone close to you? No one that I wish was still in my life. Stay in 2017, fuckers! 30. Did you fall in love? Technically no, I've always been in love with him. Technically yes, because once we got back in touch, I fell in love with him all over again. 31. Did you fall out of love? I suppose it looked like that from the outside, but I'd never really been in love with him, I just thought I owed it to him so I made myself think I was. 32. Did you start a new relationship? Yes, two. 33. Did you go through a break up? Yes, two. Dumping people kinda sucks, but it's for the best. 34. Did you have to cut ties to someone? Yes, a few people. 35. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? I guess my supervisor, haha. He's like my best friend now. 36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? I actually don't think this applies to anything, except maybe my old boss? 37. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? I don't know, maybe? But the things that come to mind have helped me grow so much as a person. 38. What was the best moment of the year for you? When he told me he loves me. 39. What was the worst? Holding my mum's hand as she went through violent withdrawal symptoms. I try not to think about it. 40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? No, not really. 41. Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? Leaving my fiancé, going on antidepressants (I can feel things again? It's bizarre), seeing my grandfather age. 42. What are you most proud of accomplishing? A photorealistic portrait, helping my mum recover, admitting to the self harm. 43. What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? I am a strong person. I am a good person. 44. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? Yes, a few lucky, lucky people. 😜 45. Did your opinion of anyone change for the worse? Yes, sadly. 46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? I've spent the last few years completely on autopilot, to be honest, so I've not set myself any resolutions previously. 47. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? Love more and care less. 48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do? Who would you go with? Well, I'm filling this out on New Year's Day (a few hours in, really), so...all year is available. I wanna go to cathedrals and museums and art galleries and the Isle of Skye and somewhere icy and gorgeous, all with Joseph. We'd just wander around loving things and learning things and we'd go on walks in the snow together and go to a fireworks display and see amazing things. 49. What do you wish for others for the coming year? Happiness, health, love, wealth, peace, comfort, acceptance, friends, broadened horizons, accomplished goals. 50. What do you wish for yourself? All of the above, and specifically such things with Joseph.

#survey

[longarmsshow]

All or five of the question prompts

You got it! (It’ll be under the read more so I won’t kill anybody else’s timeline.)

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? - My girlfriend from like… 2009-ish… I think? Yeah. That sounds about right. Although the girl I was last in a relationship with most more that likely would have, but she lived in Florida, and we broke up before we ever got to meet each other.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? - Shy. Very, very shy.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - My brother when he gets back from college for his summer break. I wanna hang out with him as much as I can for his summer break.

4. Are you easy to get along with? - I feel like I can be depending on how I’m feeling. If I’m in an entirely different mood, like if I’m upset or if I’m just not feeling sociable I’m probably hard to get along with.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - There’s nobody I’m interested in atm, so I’d be all by my lonesome~

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? - Someone who’s nice, and caring, and supportive. Basically someone who’s nice, haha.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - Probably not.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - Nobody.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - Nope! I’m absolutely fine with talking about sex.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - I honestly can’t remember. Its been a long time since I’ve had a really good conversation with someone.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - It’s a link from my mom that has to do with companies that will help pay off student loans, haha. If that isn’t indicative of my being in debt, I don’t know what is, haha

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - ‘Death Cup’ by Mom Jeans five times over.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - I’ve never had that happen before, but I imagine it must feel nice.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - Nah.

15. What good thing happened this summer? - I saw Brand New, but that was like, after the summer… so, I guess nothing good really happened this summer, haha. I got really depressed around August, and it lasted ‘til the new year, so like… uhhhh, yeah, nothing really, haha. Except for maybe some S’awesome Bros. funtimes. That was fun.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - Nope.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - I don’t think so, but we could probably colonize planets for there to be life on. It’d just… take a while, haha

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - Nope.

19. Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t had a bubble bath since I was a kid… buuuuuuut, who knows, it might be fun to try it again, haha

20. Do you like your neighbors? - I honestly don’t talk much to my neighbors. I’m a terrible person.

21. What are you bad habits? - I have terrible posture whenever I sit down in my chair. Absolutely TERRIBLE I TELLS YA

22. Where would you like to travel? - I’d love to travel! I’d be down to travel pretty much everywhere! I wanna see more of the US, and maybe take a trip up to Canada one of these days~

23. Do you have trust issues? - Kind of, yeah.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - Daily… routine…?

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - Like… the whole thing.

26. What do you do when you wake up? - If its when I have to work, I’ll wake up, brush my teeth, check my hair to see if it looks acceptable, and then roll on out to work. If I don’t work, I’ll sleep in ‘til whenever, make myself some breakfast, and then see where the day leads me!

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I’m perfectly content with the color of my skin.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? - I don’t know! People who are easy going and are easy to talk to, I guess, but that’s probably just a vague description of just about anyone you could put a name to a face to, ya know? Haha. 

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - Nope.

30. Do you ever want to get married? - I’d just like to be able to be comfortable around a woman for once in my life.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? - It is!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - Hahahahahaha, like any celebrities would want to have a threesome with me

33. Spell your name with your chin. - Oh, god. Okay. Here goes. msawre4c v p;lderf mn b6desrffgcdvftgrklo n8

34. Do you play sports? What sports? - I used to participate in bowling, but I haven’t played in a league since I was like… eighteen. I still do love to bowl every now and again, though!

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - TV. I love music too much to ever be without it.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - Yes. #socialanxietyproblems

37. What do you say during awkward silences? - I’d probably just ask a question. Asking questions is always a good way to get to know somebody.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? - I really just want someone I connect with. Someone who can be my friend. ‘Cause deep down that’s all I really want.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I looooooove Meijer. I go to Meijer all the time.

40. What do you want to do after high school? - I’ve been done with high school for like… nine years, haha. I’ve been trying to find a more secure job. It’s something I’ve been doing this year alongside bettering my mental health. Is taken up a lot of my focus, but I still have been trying to do creative things. I wanna get back into making videos sometime this year, and I wanna write a full length album. I don’t know when that all will happen, but hopefully it will soon!

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - It depends on what they did.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - That my social anxiety is kicking in something FIERCE

43. Do you smile at strangers? - I try to!

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - OUTER SPACE. THE OCEAN IS SO FUCKING SCARY. I MEAN, SPACE IS KIND OF SCARY, TOO, BUT LIKE, AS LONG AS I WAS ORBITING EARTH I’D BE OKAY.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - Knowing that I can make my life better.

46. What are you paranoid about? - Soooooooo many things, haha.

47. Have you ever been high? - Nope. I wouldn’t mind trying out marijuana, but it’s basically like, super illegal here in Indiana, so, uh, I probably won’t try it ‘til I move to someplace that at least has a medical marijuana status, haha.

48. Have you ever been drunk? - Yes. Being hungover before is awful. Thankfully I know my limits and try not to exceed them!

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - Nope. I’m a pretty open book. If there’s something you wanna know about me I’ll tell you.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? - It was grey! That’s probably like, the oldest hoodie I’ve ever held onto. The zipper on it is busted, but it can still zip up and down. Goddamn, that hoodie is old.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? - Many, many times.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - Holy shit, where do I start.

53. Favourite makeup brand? - I’ve never used makeup before, but if I did I’d tell ya! =)

54. Favourite store? - Meijer ftw!

55. Favourite blog? - Uhhhhhhhh

56. Favourite colour? - I like a lot of colors, but I think sky blue is my favorite!

57. Favourite food? - Oh, man. Probably pizza. Pepperoni and bacon~~~~~

58. Last thing you ate? - I had some steak with a veggie mix of lentils mix of zucchini, carrots, and chick peas. It was delicious~

59. First thing you ate this morning? - Eggs, bacon, and a bagel, a pretty normal breakfast that I make!

60. Ever won a competition? For what? - I don’t think I’ve ever won a competition before, but I have gone to a bowling competition before. Never came close to winning, but it was still fun!

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? - Nope. I was homeschooled, so I was under my parents thumb pretty much the whole time. Never had time to do anything wrong or get in trouble, haha.

62. Been arrested? For what? - I’ve never been arrested and don’t plan on it anytime soon.

63. Ever been in love? - Yes.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - We went to a movie (I can’t even remember which one) and after it was over we went to our cars in the parking lot, and we hugged for a long time and we kissed each other on the cheeks because we were too nervous to kiss each other on the lips.

65. Are you hungry right now? - I’m always hungry.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - I don’t really have any Tumblr friends, so uhhhhh, haha,

67. Facebook or Twitter? - Twitter.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? - Twitter, but I do like Tumblr as well.

69. Are you watching tv right now? - Nope. I only watch TV when I go to sleep, but even then it’s whatever I’m watching on Netflix. I haven’t watched TV in a long time.

70. Names of your bestfriends? - Tylor’s been one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

71. Craving something? What? - Nothing really.

72. What colour are your towels? - White!

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - Two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - Nope.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - I used to have a SHIT ton of stuffed animals as a kid. I’m not quite sure where they are now =/

75. Favourite animal? - All of them

76. What colour is your underwear? - I’m wearing plaid boxers rn

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? - Both!

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - I’m a sucker for some really good mint chocolate chip ice cream.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - Light blue. It’s a shirt from the band Dowsing.

80. What colour pants? - I’m wearing a grey-ish colored shorts with a yellow stripe on the side.

81. Favourite tv show? - Parks and Rec? Maybe? God, there’s too many to choose from

82. Favourite movie? - God, I don’t even know, man. Like, I love too many movies to choose one. Like, one minute my favorite is Goodfellas the next its fuckin’ something like Inside Out, ya know?

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - Uhhhh… neither?

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? - Is this… is this from like, 2011 or something?

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? -OHMYGODHOWDATEDISTHISTHING

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - holyshithowdatedisthisthingalsoobviouslyitsdory

87. First person you talked to today? - Nobody.

88. Last person you talked to today? - Nobody.

89. Name a person you hate? - Nobody.

90. Name a person you love? - My brother. I’m so proud of him. He’s such a good kid, and I wish him a better life than I’ve lead.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - No.

92. In a fight with someone? - Nope.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? - I’d say at least ten.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - Only a few. I really need to but some more. I love me some hoodies.

95. Last movie you watched? - Logan. It was really good!

96. Favourite actress? - Ummmmmm, pass.

97. Favourite actor? - Also pass.

98. Do you tan a lot? - I’ve never tanned a day in my life.

99. Have any pets? - I have three cats!

100. How are you feeling? - Pretty good at the moment! I’ve been drinking some beer tonight, and I streamed, and I watched one of my friends stream after my stream, so its been a fun night!

101. Do you type fast? - I wish.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? - So, so, so, so, soooooo many things. But that’s why it’s all in the past.

103. Can you spell well? - I like to think I can. There are definitely some words that trip me up, though.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - Yes.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - Yes! Bonfires are fun!

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - Yes, unfortunately.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? - Yes.

108. What should you be doing? - Probably getting ready for bed rn.

109. Is something irritating you right now? - Nope!

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues? - Yes.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - My therapist.

113. What was your childhood nickname? - I never had a nickname.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - Yes.

115. Do you play the Wii? - Holy shit, this question is so outdated, haha, but yeah, I’ve played on the Wii before, I used to love that thing.

116. Are you listening to music right now? - Yes! I’m listening to a band named Pteradon. They’re great!

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? - I do, especially if I’m sick

118. Do you like Chinese food? - Yes.

119. Favourite book? - I don’t read much, but I particularly like To Kill a Mockingbird. Such a great book.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? - Not really

121. Are you mean? - I hope I’m not! And if I ever am I’d hope that somebody would call me out on it so I could try to not be mean. ‘Cause I don’t ever want to be mean.

122. Is cheating ever okay? - No.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - No.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - Not really.

125. Do you believe in true love? - Yes.

126. Are you currently bored? - Nope!

127. What makes you happy? - Making music, streaming, anything creative.

128. Would you change your name? - I’m good with my name!

129. What your zodiac sign? - Sagittarius! 

130. Do you like subway? - It’s okay. Doesn’t hold a candle to Jimmy Johns, tho.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - Continue being friends with her…? And if feelings develop then I’d let her know…?????

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - Isn’t this… isn’t this from a previous question…?

133. Favourite lyrics right now? - Check out Death Cup by Mom Jeans. That song’s a lot of fun.

134. Can you count to one million? - What

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? - I can’t even remember the last time I told a dumb lie, so uhhhhhhhhhh

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - Closed

137. How tall are you? - Six foot six! I’m a tall fella.

138. Curly or Straight hair? - Either.

139. Brunette or Blonde? - Brunette.

140. Summer or Winter? - Summer!

141. Night or Day? - I like both! There’s something really special about being awake during two in the morning just as there is being awake at noon. I wish I could be awake all day every day, but goddaMN THESE HUMAN BODIES AND THEIR INABILITY TO STAY AWAKE FOR FOREVER

142. Favourite month? - May.

143. Are you a vegetarian? - No, but I wish I was.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? - All.

145. Tea or Coffee? - Coffee!

146. Was today a good day? - It was!

147. Mars or Snickers? - Isn’t… isn’t Snickers owned by Mars….??????????

148. What’s your favourite quote? - N/A

149. Do you believe in ghosts? - I think so

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? -ohmyfuckinggodpleasedontmakemedothis

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #268

“i got a switchblade wit that cuts like a bitch, and i think you two should meet.”

What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? If you’ve never been in a relationship before, do you watch Scrubs? Jason and I knew each other like... I think two or three weeks? We clicked so fast. Are you a fan of inside jokes or do you tend to stay away from them? I... don't feel a particular way? Do you have any theatrical experience? If so, what have you done? No, I'm not into theater. Which movies currently out in theaters do you want to see? I don't know what's in theaters right now, but I don't think anyone does rn lol. Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? If it's seriously incessantly, yes. There's not a lot you can say to have a conversation when they just ramble about the person, especially when you don't even know the partner. How close would you say you are to your relatives? Not very. What’s your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales. If you could have anyone to do your eulogy, who would it be and why? Well, I'd assume my parents will be dead by that point, so. Probably my best friend. If you play the Sims games, which one is your favorite? I've only ever played Sims Animals, which I looooved back in the past. I haven't played it in years, though. If your parents searched your room, would they be mad at what they’d find? No. Ever taken a picture kissing somebody? Yes. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night? Morning is a great start to the day, but only after your teeth are brushed. I cannooooot do morning breath. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Aggressive. I am such a sub lmao. How serious are your feelings for the person you like? I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWW Ever had your driver's license suspended? Don't have mine to begin with. Does the person you like know that you like them? Yes. How frequently are you inclined to read, and how much? Somewhat rarely lately, less than I did some months back. I would read some pretty big chunks. When was the last time you questioned the direction your life was taking? LMAOOOOOOOOO I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that's like, a daily occurrence. What small things have the ability to get under your skin? I'm trying to think of something I haven't said before, but I'm not sure. OH, it may seem like a small thing, but letting balloons go outside. It's littering. Many end up in the ocean. What is something small that has the ability to cure a bad mood? A car ride riding shotgun with music blaring. I fucking love it. What was the last big change through which you went? Some moral beliefs altered. ^ Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? Fuck no. It blows up my anxiety. How do you feel after spending a great quantity of time online? I used to feel kinda guilty, and I actually still do, but it's more subdued. It's just too normal by now, to the point when I'm bored, I sometimes briefly forget there are other things to do that aren't on the computer. God it's sad. What do you consider to be the biggest drawback to being you? I'M BIG SCARED OF EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! What do you consider the best part of being who you are? I'm really understanding and can relate to people's pain well. What kinds of things do you have on display in your room? Christ, a lot. My room is STUFFED with decorations that make me happy.  There's posters, some artwork, all my Silent Hill game cases or manuals + more SH stuff, meerkats galore, Venus is in here, I have this "shrine" for Teddy... I've got a load of stuff. What do you think your room and its contents say about you, if anything? I love a lotta stuff, ig. Animals, music, dark stuff, games. When was the last time you felt insecure about something/some situation? UMMMMM I should have a question for this fucking immediately. I'm sure it was something when I was at Ashley's inlaws for Mother's Day. What is something about which you are very confident or self-assured? My knowledge of meerkats lmaooo. Which emotional sensation inconveniences or bothers you the most? FUCKIN ANXIETY. Do you ever find it awkward to compliment another being? No, I love love love giving compliments!! When was the last time you had a new experience? What was it? Hm. I guess nightmares where I literally flail and attack shit while shrieking. Do you dress more for yourself, or to the expectations of others? I dress entirely for myself. What is one way you cope when you feel like crap? Binge music I can relate to. Which can make it worse, but sometimes helps. I'll usually get to the point of being teary and cry a bit, but then I start feeling better. Name an insult you regularly receive, if there is one? I guess it's not really an... insult, per se, but I hear "you're too quiet!" all the time. What is something you used to believe about life that you no longer do? Everything happens for a reason. Nope. What is something you hope you never have to do again? Deal with another Jason-level heartbreak. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? I'm actually not sure. Not a fan of any that I can think of. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Oh yeah, plenty normal nowadays. Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Yes, the pink bead necklace from my sister's baby shower for Emerson. Sometimes I hang my purse there too. Why did you move to where you're living now? We got evicted for not being able to keep up with rent and needed a cheap but semi-decent place to live. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? I remember I was grounded from the computer for at least a week, maybe more. My punishment was always taking technology away and/or spanked or popped on the arm. I remember she once hit my arm so damn hard that I had her handprint there for a while. My mom was horrible at *keeping* me and my sisters grounded, though; she'd normally calm down within a few days and things would return to normal. What was the topic of conversation the last time you spoke to a sibling? Ummm I don't remember. I should, I saw one just a couple days ago. Are you currently looking for a new job? I don't have a job currently, but while Mom has cancer and surgery coming up, I'm not really looking, but pondering opportunities. She'd have to drive me, which just can't be done right now, and I'm also not comfortable leaving her home alone right now. Who is the person you are the closest to? (emotionally, not physically) Mom. What was the last caffeinated drink you had? Do you drink this often? Strawberry Sunkist, and ugh, too much lately. Whose photo did you last look at? I was on Facebook a bit ago, so someone's on there. Who was the last person to pick you up? You mean like, physically? I don't know, probably Girt because he got a kick out of our height difference and he would do that when we hugged. What are you wearing around your neck? Nothing right now. Have you accidentally mistaken a stranger for someone you know? Oh my god, yes. I did that at the tattoo parlor once at a guy that looked like my sister's ex, who I got along with well. He looked at me like "uhhhhh" and it will haunt me forever. Who did you last blow a kiss at? Venus. I do that and wave a lot when she comes out of her hide and looks my way. Have you ever seen lava in real life? No. Who did you last bite? Um I don't just casually go around biting people lmao. Probably Jason. Do you remember the date of your prom? Ha, it's honestly surprising to me that I don't recall the date of either, considering how I remember, y'know, a weird amount of obscure details through our entire time knowing each other. Was your last kiss long and sensual or short and sweet? Why’s that? Short and sweet, because it was just a goodbye kiss. When kissing, do you like to be on top or bottom? Good Lord, am I a bottom. I hated being on top because I felt he had a better view of me and my body, and I was self-conscious as shit even when I was fit. Does your boyfriend/husband know what size your boobs are? UHHHHHHHHHHHHH I don't have a boyfriend but I've sure never actually talked about it with any. Do you have hair extensions or do you think those are strictly for the scene kids? ..... No? I don't wear extensions, never have, but wearing them doesn't tie you to a label??? List all the things you have from your boyfriend at your house right now? Not everyone has a boyfriend, friend. Last time you exercised and for how long? I DON'T WANT TO THINK OF THIS lkja;dslkfjwe Last girl who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? I shared a picture of myself on Facebook for once just the other day, so let's so. *checks* HAHA MY MOM. #1 cheerleader, friends. OH I should probably clarify she said "gorgeous," but I guess that counts? Was she hitting on you? Jfc no. Last guy who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? Does getting a comment from Ian of a Spongebob screenshot of Squidward with heart eyes count? lol Was HE hitting on you? *shrugs* He's very open with sharing love for his friends though, so it very well could've been just friendly support. Have you ever taken the 5,000 question survey? Parts of it, and God did it get stupid. What would you do if your boyfriend/husband got drafted into war tomorrow? I. Am single. And not everyone. Is interested in guys. But hypothetically, I would fucking panic. I physically wouldn't be able to handle an s/o in the army; I would constantly, absolutely constantly, be actively fearful. We'd have to find a way to get him out of it. Has a guy ever touched your butt without permission? If so, how did this make you feel? I don't believe so, thank God. How many formal dresses do you own? Sun-dresses? I have two prom dresses (which I'm finally comfortable enough to get rid of at some point) and I think like... one or two other black knee-length dresses that I could now never fit into? What do you hope you grow out of? Social anxiety. It ruins many parts of my life. What is the healthiest and unhealthiest thing you do on a regular basis? Healthy? Oh fuck. I, uh, usually have one bottle of water, I guess? Unhealthy, definitely drink soda. I need to stop. When looking for a SO, what three things are most important (besides looks)? Kindness, patience, and compassion or understanding. How much do you judge a person by their appearance? Define "judge" here. Like, I can conclude someone is impoverished or well off in many cases, but I don't judge them as people. What is the most embarrassing thing you own? Hm. I'm unsure. What is the strangest habit you have? I don't think I have odd habits. What movie made you cry the most? The Notebook or Old Yeller, I think. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Realizing I was getting a dog for Christmas. Fuck, I miss Teddy. What belief do you have that most people disagree with? I'd rather not get political right now. Who or what inspires you to be a better person? I fucking hate admitting it, but Jason. The last thing he told me was to stop saying "I'll try" but rather "I will," and I actually recently almost had a breakdown about it because I shouldn't put SO much value into what he says, make it holy "rules." I treat him like a god in so many ways. Still, in my stupid head, his word is law. I still want to make him so proud. What’s the TLDR description of your last relationship? Long-distance was getting extremely hard, but I think the bigger factor was that we both have problems we need to work on before we can properly support one another. If you found out your current life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up? (You don’t know if your real life would be better or worse.) I guess... no. I'd be too afraid of it being any worse than it already feels. What dumb thing did you believe for a really long time? Political and religious beliefs I don't at all like admitting I had. Where would you like to retire? Hell if I know, that's a long whiles away. What brings you the most joy in life? Oh yikes. Family and close friends, probs. What was the last song that got stuck in your head? "Blush" by Jeffree Star is on repeat ahhhh What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at? Drawing people. I don't really do it BECAUSE I'm not very good. In art in general, I have a hard time with proportions. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, a lotta other fruits, broccoli, there are these granola and cashew bars I LOVE, salad can be good, scrambled eggs... now I'm blanking. Like there are a lot of foods that can be on either end of the spectrum, depending on how they're prepared. Do you ever eat dry cereal as a snack to munch on? Any particular kind? No, generally too crunchy and dry. When you run out of something to drink & are thirsty, are you quick to retrieve a new beverage or are you lazy about it? It depends on how thirsty I am and what I'm doing at that moment. What is your favorite part of a slice of pizza? BITCH all of that motherfucker. What was the longest power outage you ever experienced? Two or so days. I was so, so scared for Venus because it was in the winter. Poor girl was scared. I had to let her inside my hoodie and shirt to use my warmth for a lengthy period at a time, there were blankets draped over her terrarium... I was genuinely afraid she was going to die. But nope, my baby is good and thriving. :'D Do you believe that children should do all of the chores around the house, or do you think the parents should do them? Or do you have an entirely different opinion? As someone who was raised with chores poorly enforced and now I suck at doing them, they should ABSOLUTELY be a required thing. Children shouldn't do *all* the chores though, of course, especially those involving serious chemicals. Have you ever painted a pet’s nails, or known someone that has done such? Do you think that is cruel? I haven't, but I suppose it depends on whether it's toxic or not and if the animal doesn't mind? I do know people who have. What is something you did as a child that you didn’t realize back then was “wrong”, if anything? I didn't know interracial relationships were perfectly fine. It's funny, I don't recall me seeing black as any less than whites, I just thought it wasn't supposed to happen. Being raised in the South does that, ig. Do you get an excessive amount of bug bites during spring/summertime? Are you one to itch constantly or can you control yourself? No, I've heard because I have A-type blood. Whenever my sister (O-type) and I used to play outside, she would always come in COVERED in mosquito bites, and she's still a magnet for them today. Supposedly bugs don't prefer A, but O the most. I do itch, though. Holy shit, do I itch. Do you own any sports equipment [balls, basketball goals, mitts, etc] that you rarely use? No. Could you ever willingly hunt down & shoot an innocent animal for sport? Over my dead fucking body. Would you be uncomfortable changing someone else’s baby’s diaper? Ugh, I have twice I believe, and I hated it. Have/would you ever want to own a pet frog, or do you think they would be too boring? I don't think I've ever caught and kept one? I don't mind "boring" pets, I just don't desire one. What internet/television provider do you use? Fucking CenturyLink. Stay away from it. Are you uncomfortable going out in public with leg stubble? Even if it’s so light that no one would notice it unless they were looking for it? That much, no. Now I literally haven't shaved my legs in over a whole year because it's not like anyone sees them, but holy fuck would I be mortified if someone did lol. Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. I'm terrified to because of tornados. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? No. What’s your favorite piece of furniture in your house? ...? If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd want to, but it'd be Mom's decision. Favorite type of cracker: Cheez-Its. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Spiders, especially when they're making their webs.

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