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zhoufeis · 3 years

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Yay! The newbie (me) has finished 10 korean dramas

....... and here are my ratings.

Let’s rate from worst to best:

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10) Romance is a Bonus Book. Rating: 2,1 / 5 stars - skip it.

- I kept seeing this show on my dash and since my first kdrama watch was W Two Worlds with the wonderful Lee Jong-suk, I decided to give it a chance.

- But hell, no one warned me how bad it actually is. I’m not talking about the acting (the cast is actually quite solid), but I’m referring to... the plot (or lack thereof), the love story (let’s rather call it one-sided obsession) and the wasted potential. Let’s start with the set-up. A company producing books, a single mother who needs a job, her childhood best friend who works for the company. Yeah, it’s not precisely complex or inventive, but it’s something to work with. Create nice dynamics at the working place, have some yearning between the two leads, give them heartwarming moments and a confession of how they’ve always been in love with each other. There’s just one problem: she really never, ever had any romantic feelings for her childhood best friend. She keeps calling him a brother and insists on him being her closest friend (which seems a stretch since she lied to him for a year about her separation from her husband and kept sort of creeping up into his house to eat and shower there without letting him know). Anyway, I could oversee this (even though I hate the trope of childhood best friends becoming lovers in adult life just because one is a man and the other a woman) if AT LEAST we actually get to see her falling for him slowly within the show. But we just.... don’t. He confesses his love to her - as she is actually starting to see someone else, and let me tell you, she actually seemed to be into the second lead -, then promises her not to push his feelings onto her... but that’s exactly what he does (I guess I don’t need to mention I ended up not being his biggest fan), and she ends up falling for him for unknown reasons. Eh. Okay. I started rooting for the second leads halfway into the show. Hae-rin & Eun-ho as well as Seo-joo & Dan-i appeared to me as the much more shippable pairings. I might have actually cried for Hae-rin & Eun-ho at some point of the show, but well... Moving on to... everything else. I enjoyed some scenes in the company, but not enough that I could tell you any right now because there wasn’t anything very memorable. The show basically thrives in some random scenes usually involving one of the two leads rather than in scenes with the two of them. That random author’s suicide has stuck with me as well as the letters that song hae-rin has wrote to our male lead over the years. The talk about fears between eun-ho and that author has stuck with me too, but other than that... there’s just nothing really happening. I was patiently waiting for a plot to come but nothing ever came. It just feels like a bunch of really uninteresting subplots put into one show. I don’t wanna judge it too harshly, but one of the other modern day dramas I will discuss further down this list also simply works with a bunch of subplots coming together - and it’s wonderfully executed (it’s ‘Run On’, for those of you who are wondering!)

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Positive: nice friendship between women (dan-i & hae-rin); delivery of lee jong-suk, jeong eu-gene & park gyu-young; one strong scene involving a life lesson every few eps

- Negative: no main plot, dull subplots... nothing happens, very cheesy at some points, the protagonizing couple is quite problematic and unshippable, their chemistry is not strong enough to oversee that; i really don’t know why people like this show.

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9) Radio Romance. Rating: 3,2 / 5 stars - it’s cute.

- Radio Romance is the show on this list that drives me into conflict with myself. Because some things about this show are very strong; others (many) very, very weak. I guess the main problem is that the show’s set-up mostly shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but it deals with some heavy topics that need to be taken seriously. And unlike quality japanese animes or some quality chinese drama that usually achieve to make you realize what can be taken as a joke and what can not, Radio Romance is sort of incapable of keeping that balance. You gotta figure it for yourself.

- While offering a quite enjoyable cast and some quite different personalities within the show, there is no one particularly standing out. As you will see as we go further down on this list, this is not my only Kim So-hyun drama, it was also not my first, and I can promise you that it won’t be my last. I simply adore this actress, she’s enjoyable to watch. I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of her, which is why I checked out the show in the first place. Compared to her other characters though, Song Geu-rim is kind and nice and all, but not too memorable. She’s portraying a nice girl next door here with a dream to become a good radio script writer. And if not even her character stands out, as expected, none of the others will either. As for the plot... We don’t really have one, I suppose. If you count the plot making the radio show, I suppose then episode 3 or 4 is the last with actual development. I was hoping for more conflicts and plot twists involving Soo-ho’s backstory - and we got them, but very, very, very late on the show. Basically, getting through the first 7 eps felt very easy to me, due to the change of locations and relationship growth, and getting through the last 3 as well. Although the last was such a cheesy ending, you have no idea. The middle part suffered from a lack of plot and character development as well as it suffered from a focus on the love triangle - which I totally could have lived without. Like, istg, what was the POINT of this love triangle? Soo-ho and Geu-rim had to deal with enough things already, bringing in yet another obstacle through the tercero and putting the focus onto this love triangle was just soooo cliché. And don’t even get me started on how they also went with the problematic love triangle tropes rather than to at least make it somewhat adorable or funny. It was also boring. I kept pausing the episodes there and didn’t keep watching for days. It was only at the end of episode 13 that things finally got interesting again when we finally got to learn more about Soo-ho’s backstory. From then on, I was able to end the show within 2 days. So, no, the backstory was not the thing that drives me into conflict though. What drives me into conflict is how such a quite flat story was able to portray a very good, very realistic case of depression and PTSD. Like wow. This must have been one of the few shows, in which we have a canonically diagnosed character who does not fall into stereotypes and in which his depression isn’t used as a mere plot device to get the ship together and cure him by that. His depression is underlying at all times, sometimes more, sometimes less. He is told to get treatment (”no treatment, no medication.”), he has moments in which his depression mentally and physically restrains him from acting. It’s a very layered, realistic depiction and I adored every single bit of it. Meanwhile, the character isn’t defined by his depression nevertheless - there’s more to Soo-ho then just the depression, and after all, he was an outstanding character (to correct what I said before because I was lying xD). So... for all the lack of plot and development and predictable storytelling, the depiction of depression and the peacefulness of the protagonizing couple save that show.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Negative: unnecessary love triangles with unnecessary clichés; barely any plot; sheer boredom in the middle of the show; takes itself and its tropes way too seriously.

- Positive: complex character who is suffering from depression and PTSD; layered, realistic depiction of depression; adorable couple that transmits peacefulness.

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8) Rookie Historian Goo Hae-ryung. Rating: 3,5 / 5 stars - nice, but it is no must-watch.

- I feel genuinely bad for putting this right after Radio Romance and Romance is a Bonus Book, because Rookie Historian was, simply put, muuuuuuuuch better. I got invested in the characters and their backstories. The story is quite more complex in retrospect than it seemed at first, but the show’s issue is that this is rather less apparent in more than the first quarter of the show. I really don’t even recall what happened in those first few episodes because it is rather unimportant for the rest of the show, with minor exceptions. The story truly starts picking up around episode 9 and has a strong run until around episode 15. The last quarter of the show then is wayyyyy too fast-moving, too many things happening and we barely spend time on things I then wished to spend more time on. Unfortunately, despite having a good set-up and a quite fine cast, I don’t think I’ll remember anything in particular about this show in a year. It’s a nice watch, even though I sometimes really had to motivate myself to keep watching in the first eps, but it hasn’t lingered in my memory after I finished it.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Positive: rather lots of plot; positive female relationships; feminism; shin se-kyung; leading couple as well as the second leading couple, even though romance is not at the core of the show; nice messages about morality and truth.

- Negative: the first few eps are really.... slow-moving. To the point that I’d recommend putting the first 8 eps into 2-3 eps and giving more space in the end. Especially the last 4 eps of the show are way too fast-moving. Furthermore, there’s some plotholes. My biggest issue though is the glorification of europe's christianity during the 18th and 19th century. I was not expecting that in a korean drama but it seemed utterly wrong in my eyes, specifically because the show used it to promote that chrisitianity promotes equality of all races and genders. Not to be a bitch, but europe’s christian beliefs have never stopped europeans from discriminating women and non-white people, not then and not now.

- My general impression of the show is quite positive, but I’m not sure I’d willingly watch it again since knowing all the plot twists and storylines actually is enough to be watched once with that show. An experience that I haven’t made with the other kdramas that are higher ranked on this list.

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7) A Love So Beautiful. Rating: 3,5 / 5 stars - if you really don’t want to think at all and just watch a light, easy to follow show, that is your pick. However, NOT recommended for first-time kdrama watchers - it gives you a totally wrong impression of what kdramas are actually capable of achieving.

- I’d like to point out that this show has surprised me in a good way - but there’s things that need to be pointed out here, so let me make three paragraphs: the first will talk about my impression of the first 16 eps; the second will talk about the last 8 eps; and the last will talk about how this show was cute, but could have been incredible, but didn’t use its potential correctly.

- Episodes 1-16: Look, the thing about those eps is very easy to point out: it’s not quality and it is never pretending to be (unlike romance is a bonus book, which pretends to be some smart, adult quality show but is just trash). Those eps cannot be taken totally serious. You have to go in there knowing exactly what is awaiting you. I started it because when I saw the trailer, I immediately realized all the tropes that Extraordinary You (higher ranked, you will see later) was making fun of. What you see is exactly what you get: Clichéd characters, clichéd love story, average acting, average directing, simple dialogue, clichéd love triangle, predictable developments - a simple romcom put into a tv show format. It’s cliché over cliché over cliché put into a het high school love story. And you know what? After weeks of studying for and writing my uni exams, it was exactly what I needed. The show is so over the top with its clichés that it’s genuinely funny. The lightheartedness and the non-existing complexity just add to that. Basically, you could argue that it’s all so bad with its clichés, which is why it becomes hilarious. Unlike other kdramas, it has a straightforward plot: a girl is in love with a boy and wants to be with him. It’s as easy as that. The show clearly loves featuring every trope you could associate with het love stories, but honestly, it’s so light and breezy and such a fast watch (due to the fact that each ep is between 20-25 minutes), you will finish those first 16 episodes before you know you even started it (I made it in less than 2 days). I want to repeat here though, it’s not for someone who starts with kdramas and hasn’t watched other kdramas. It cannot be taken seriously - and you only cannot take it seriously when you have seen things like Extraordinary You or W or, I guess, a bunch of high school kdramas. But I’m telling you, this is the only Kdrama on this list that you can watch in the most stressful time of your life and it will make you feel better. It won’t make you cry, it will make you laugh, and the moment it is out of your sight, you will forget about it - at least, that’s the case about the first 16 eps. And then we get to...

- Episodes 17-24: guys, what have I gotten myself into? As these people finished high school and their problems actually also got more adult, I started to grow genuinely attached, specifically to the ship. When she got sick and he didn’t even know although he’s a DOCTOR? When she was sexually harassed and didn’t know how to talk to him about it because their relationship was filled with other problems? When he left for 3 years and later told her that he had hoped she’d follow him because she always has... and then she didn’t? When he said that everyone is under the impression that she is more dependent on him but that he is actually the one who cannot imagine a life without her? IT ALL HURT BADLY. Because 1) so many years passed in such a short amount of time on the show and it felt like someone was ripping my heart out. I got genuinely reminded of that stupid US movie “One Day” - and y’all know how that movie ended. And because 2) there was a very realistic notion in the adult relationship portrayed. Not only did it point out how differently relationships/friendships can develop once you outgrow your teenage years and start navigating your life by yourself, but the problems, the misunderstandings, the different perceptions of time, the different perceptions of how friendships and relationships are developing - I honestly could relate to it a lot, looking at it from a 24yo perspective because it is something I have been experiencing as well since I finished high school. You feel more lonely and tend to perceive some time as passing by quickly, other times, it feels like everything is going so slow. These last 8 eps completely differ from my perception that I had in the first 16 eps of the show, as the tone is much more serious and the things depicted realistic and relatable. I also sobbed a lot. I didn’t sob at all, ever, in the first 16 eps, but the last 8 were me crying a lot and feeling my heart hurt as the years passed by and these two just spent them apart.

- So, what do I criticize about this show? The show’s pacing. I genuinely loved the change of feeling between high school and adult life, between ridiculousness and seriousness, and I know the show wants to celebrate youth at the end of the day. But I honestly believe this show could have worked so much better if u cut the high school episodes down to 8 episodes and rather spend a few more eps exploring their young adult lives. It would have worked so much better because their young adult selves were genuinely relatable, as well as their problems. The growth within the characters, realizing that the way they acted as teenagers were often self-centred or that they didn’t think that much about the consequences or how other people felt was nicely done. The show had potential. The dialogues were bearable, the camera work had hints of something great. In other words, I believe that with more carefulness to directing and dialogue, the show could have genuinely been a quality romance drama. The potential was there, but it wasn’t used the way it should have been. In the last 8 eps, you simply get a whiff on what this show could have actually been. Because the realistic character and relationship writing was right there - and if it had been put together with awesome directing and better pacing, everything could have been incredible.

SUMMARY

Favorite character:

Negative: the show’s pacing; the waste of potential to be an actual quality romance.

Positive: the un-seriousness of the first 16 eps, which were just so clichéd that it all was hilarious, compared to the seriousness of problems and development depicted in the past 8 eps.

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6) Run On. Rating: 4,2 / 5 stars - recommend

- I’m gonna be honest here and tell you something about me you might have guessed by now: Modern-day shows with no sci-fi nor fantasy elements are not particularly my thing. I usually sort of hate-watch them. Romance is a Bonus Book, A Love So Beautiful and Radio Romance are all of such shows and while I was even capable watching two of them without ending up hating them, they’re far from being my fave. Objectively, they’re okay-ish shows, nothing to be considered quality tv according to my cultural studies though. Subjectively, they just suffer even more from the fact that I’m very keen on being critical of such shows. But what happens when I find a non-fantasy, non-scifi modern-day show that is actually... good? Run On is the answer. Run On has memorable characters, their funny, unique characteristics, and simple conflicts put into nice subplots that often talk real-life problems such as bullying or self-neglegance. At the end of the day, this show is a love poem. It’s a love poem to self-love, self-respect, to friendship, to character growth, to family bonds, to achieving your goals, to making new goals, to kindness, and to life itself. That’s really what it is. You will find yourself in, at least, one of the characters. You will see them struggle, fight, grow, become better, and at the end of the day, the most important thing is that you are capable of living with yourself. I personally got attached to all of the stories and I adored how nothing was ever done over the top. Everything was subtle, multiple subplots working together... to form stories of life. It’s more than just a simple “feelgood” show and less than a devastating tragedy, it truly shows you life and puts it into an aesthetic form, that never neglects its reality. Which leads me to something I should point out here: it’s creatively done. From the fact that Seon-gyeom is waiting for Mi-joo at the end of the track to the drawings of Young-hwa that have Dan-ah in them to Dan-ah realizing that people experience the same things differently due to the fact that experience itself is different to everyone to Mi-joo imagining movie plots with the people she surrounds herself with to Seon-gyeom starting to live with Young-hwa in a small flat rather than to live lonely in a big, fancy hotel room - the things the characters go through in this show are not only talked about, but they’re often expressed through art, in all its forms. And these characters, these dynamics, the art, the conflicts are all subtly but carefully put together into subplots that form the show and very nice messages. The most important take-away I had from this show is that the way we treat us and the people around us is the highest form of art. And the show is a love poem to that.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Positive: the cast (especically the core four), the characters (especially the core four); the wonderful messages about respect, kindness and self-love; the subplots working together, reflecting how life is also not just some simple chronological order of things but rather multiple experiences that we remember and that shape us; life is constant growth.

- Negative: i think the only thing i truly have to criticize is that you never really know what the plot even is. While I do enjoy how the subplots all work together, I would have wished for deeper inspections of some plots. And while it is easy just for some headcanons to come to mind, I still think the show could have incorporated more. Considering the treatment of art forms and how it takes a prominent role within the story (due to Young-hwa and Mi-joo, respectively), I also would have liked to have some cultural nods and references - and interpretations. I think the show used about 85% of its potential - and the potential was great, which is why the rating is still very good.

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5) Bring it on, ghost! Rating: 4,2 / 5 stars - recommend, especially good for people who want to have a focus on romance coupled with a supernatural plot and who want a happy ending

- While the story is pretty easy to follow, often seems to be predictable and familiar, the show still promotes nice messages about forgiveness and regret. The strong side of the show isn’t particularly that though - this show is entirely saved by the two leading actors. Kim So-hyun and Teacyeon portray two incredibly lovable characters you will see yourself drawn to. They furthermore have a chemistry that you just have to love and their bickering is just the best part of all. This is mixed with some tragic moments - in present time as well as in the past - and what you get is a romantic show with a bit of comedy, with a bit of tragedy, but with a very happy ending. If you exchanged the actors with two less skilled actors or two people who simply don’t have a lot of chemistry, this show simply wouldn’t work. Their performances are the shining light of this drama, mixed with some funny side characters that you get to enjoy as well. The reason why it ends up higher on the list than Run On - despite Run On probably having generally the better dialogue writing as well as better camera work and even more beautiful messages - is due to the sole work of the two leads who simply carry this show on their back and the fact that despite having some more or less necessary subplots, there is a main plot here that will take a faster, darker turn in the second half of the show. And I personally just enjoy having a main plot to hold onto as well as I always enjoy a bit of fantasy more than modern day real live shows. On top of that, add some devastating backstory and top-notch character development for Park Bong-pal, and a badass, slightly violent, sassy characterization of Kim Hyun-ji. This show will simply leave you with a huge smile on your face, despite being made for people who enjoy tragedy as well.

SUMMARY

- Favorite characters:

- Negative: subplots sometimes take the focus, a familiar story, stereotypical portrayal of ghosts (yes, ahre, i said it), no real plot twists (which can be a good thing, too, since the show rather simply unfolds each part of the story over the course of its run)

- Positive: the two leading actors, their incredibly shippable couple, a happy ending. If I was going to recommend a light-hearted, happy kdrama that has some tragic parts but ends happily and isn’t that hard to follow, I’ll recommend you this one.

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4) The Tale of Nok-du. Rating: 4,6 / 5 stars - strongly recommend.

- If you ever are in search for an unproblematic dummy as protagonist, watch this show. He’s a dummy you just have to love. You laugh about him, you laugh with him, you cry for him. He’s a puppy, you cry with him. And the best thing is, this puppy falls in love with a girl who can be quite rude and annoyed, but he always makes her smile and genuinely is attentive to her. The most frustrating thing about both of them is that each of them keeps a secret they cannot tell each other because they refuse to hurt each other - and this almost leads to tragedy. Better even, they’re portrayed by two very skillful actors. You’ll love them in the blink of an eye. And then there’s the cute second lead, portrayed by Kang Tae-oh. Yes, cute. Until he really isn’t. I’ve never seen an actor being able to turn around a character to 180° in no time. Some talent that is. And now let’s just say - the plot is nice. It is not the most complex one, but it is interesting to follow and you are always eager to find out new information to collect and put the pieces together. If you are searching for a show that is simply entertaining and nice to watch and featrures a great cast and nice characters and ranges from comedy to tragedy, this is your pick.

SUMMARY

- Favorite characters:

- Negative: the narrative change in the middle of the show that shifted the focus away from women to men (even though it made sense within the story, it was still a very sudden and harsh change, especially if you consider that these women were mostly slaughtered to death)

- Positive: CAST (specifically the three mains are just beyond amazing); an innocent, pure, absolutely adorable protagonizing couple that will steal your heart; feminism; male protagonist being a feminist who ends up working with badass women for his entire lifetime; directing; narration practices - this show is the one that draws the line between the ones i discussed above and the really great ones because it is the first on the list to be capable of telling a story by constantly keeping your nerves up while also not overstimulating the viewer with too much information at once. Only the other 3 shows which will follow now were able to do the same - and it’s what makes people watch or quit, and that’s why it’s so important: constant plot development, no unnecessary side plots, and handing your audience enough information to make them keep watching but not enough to guess the entire plot yet. The Tale of Nok-du was able to do exactly that and I honestly enjoyed the ride.

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3) W - Two Worlds. Rating: 4,8 / 5 stars - strongly recommend, must watch.

- I’d like to point out first that my top 3 are interchangeable. I sometimes tend to change my mind which one of the three I adore the most, and W is definitely in those top 3. Firstly, I’d like to let you know that W was my first Kdrama watch. And it blew me away. I was in awe with Lee Jong-suk, with Han Hyo-joo, with the narration of this drama, with the plot, with the direction, with the leading couple, the cast, THE DIALOGUE. Everything about this drama was excellently executed. The slow-moving narration in episode 1, the extra long scene of Chul holding the writer at gunpoint, the writer ‘becoming’ the killer (which he has always been anyway), the philosophy behind it, the creativity. I was blown away by literally everything about this drama and I believe it to be one of the strongest dramas ever made. Furthermore, what I also really adored, is that you don’t need to necessarily be into the couple in order to enjoy this show anyway because the plot takes the spotlight - but since the couple is always involved in the main plot, you get to enjoy plot, dialogue and couple at once. An interesting thing that I want to note here is that a few weeks after finishing the show, I stumbled upon reddits criticizing Lee Tae-hwan for his acting in general. I don’t know if he just perfectly suited the role of Chul’s bodyguard in W, but I highkey enjoyed watching him in this drama.

SUMMARY

- Favorite characters:

- Negative: I would have adored if Yeon-joo took a more prominent role in the resolution of the story (last 2 episodes) since the ‘hero arc’ went all to Chul there. And another negative aspect is that the show lives from very strong dialogues throughout all episodes, all incredible, all amazing and then - the very last scene. The last words spoken on the show, as a voice-over of Chul and Yeon-joo, are rather dull compared to the rest of the show.

- Positive: narration device, leaving out information to fill us in later and blowing our minds away (PEOPLE, I THOUGHT CHUL DIED), complex main characters, complex plot, no unnecessary subplots, no unnecessary romantic drama, no unnecessary cheesiness, DIALOGUE, direction, the cast in general*.

*I tried Memories of the Alhambra, as I found out that the same people who also made W were in charge of that drama, and I have to admit that I was intensely let down, specifically by the casting. Hyun Bin was alright-ish (not very memorable though), but Park Shin-hye was unbearable for me after episode 3. I stopped watching. If the plot was as interesting as the one of W though, I would have kept watching. But seeing as nothing really happened in those first 3 eps other than the lead killing his old best friend and playing video games that appear to turn into reality, I felt like I was wasting my time.

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2) Extraordinary You. Rating: 5 / 5 stars - strongly recommend for hopeless romantics, people who suffer from second lead syndrome and people who like getting into philosophical debates.

- Extraordinary You was the second kdrama I ever watched. And. And. And. And I almost gave it up after episode one. It seemed somewhat ridiculous to me, way too fast-moving. I would regret my entire life if I had given it up right there and then. Because PEOPLE, IT IS SO GOOD. Not only does it feature a very healthy main couple, it leaves you emotionally devastated because there’s a backstory that you only get to know in the second half of the show but which influences your entire perception of the first half - and jeez, by the time I reached half of the show, I was yelling and screaming and crying my eyes out. You ever want to see a love so deep that it transcends consciousness and universes? A love so deep that time and space become mere nothings? That’s what you get in this show. And one of the best parts is that the ‘’’’’actual’’’’’ lead (in the ancient story within the show, not the story of the show) aka Baek Kyung* does NOT get the girl. But that doesn’t mean you won’t fricking suffer with him. Jeez, I bawled my eyes out for him, too. But Haru/Dan-oh, guys, they’re.... everything. Oh and all of that is nicely mixed up in a strong, complex plot that leaves nothing unexplained. Not everything is explained through words - the show is high on symbolism rather than dialogue - but everything makes sense. And the ending, oh that stupid ending. As beautiful as heartbreaking. Since the plot is put into a philosophical perspective throughout the show, the show also raises questions about existence and being. Yes, I yelled when Heidegger was mentioned. So not only do you get to see a beautiful, heartbreaking love story; adorable, complex characters; time-and-space-transcending friendships, you also get to laugh, cry and think about your own existence and your own place in this world. This show is a delight.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Negative: you will cry and cry and cry and then laugh and then cry and cry and cry. It’s really not fun. Emotionally devastating. No, but for real... I wished we had a more complex depiction of the female characters that aren’t Dan-oh (specifically Ju-da, Sae-mi and Su-hyang), and a bit less focus on the guys therefore (I love them all but I thought the girls could have gotten some screen time of theirs while I would have accepted Jinmichae, Do-hwa and Nam-ju to get a bit less)

- Positive: Honestly? EVerything. Directing, casting, characterization, narration, love story, friendships, everything.

- *Let me say something about Baek Kyung, portrayed by Lee Jae-wook. That character could have simply been an asshole. The set-up was there, the writer of the comic also made him that way. But Lee Jae-wook has portrayed this character with so much depth that it is impossible not to feel bad for him. His entire life stages (hahahaha, I’m so funny) are a tragic mess. The fact that he eventually realizes that who he is and who the writer made him are eventually indeed two different people after all - but that they both share being in love with Eun Dan-oh - is as important as it is devastating. Cause it makes you realize that he can finally move his life more freely with that knowledge - become a better person outside of the stages (only if given the chance by the writer though) - while also never finding a happy ending. Firstly, because happy endings don’t exist in their world anyway because endings - if happy or sad - are always endings to these characters’ existences and because it is glaringly obvious his happy ending would include having Dan-oh by his side also outside of the stages. That is denied to him and will always be denied to him. And as a viewer, you understand that and you want nothing else, but the fact that he doesn’t even appear in the new story, not getting a chance at a new life this time, just adds a tragic notion onto all of this that no one asked for. I’d like to thank Lee Jae-wook here for such an incredible portrayal. I started Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol because of him and, unfortunately, had stop watching after 2 episodes because Go A-ra is simply... a terrible actress. I can’t put it any other way. I’m looking forward to other dramas with him and the rest of the cast though. Extraordinary You definitely had a huge advantage already by having a quite young, but incredibly talented mass of actors and actresses.

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*drumroll*

1) Hotel del Luna. Rating: 5 / 5 stars - strongly recommend, must watch.

- It wasn’t thaaaat surprising to me that I would love this show. It was rather.... obvious that this would happen because a fantasy show set in modern day with the involvement of other time eras and a badass, broken, strong female lead is simply my taste. What I did not expect was this to become my favorite tv show of all time. I don’t even know where to start. I guess Jang Man-wol is a good starting point. Because I live for such characters. Characters like hers are precisely of my taste (I had similar people to her before - Ámbar Smith from Argentina’s Soy Luna or Melody Paz from Argentina’s Casi Ángeles - and also after her - Seo Dan-ah from Korea’s Run On), but Jang Man-wol takes the no.1 spot in all tv characters ever. She’s so layered, so complex, so well-written. She’s not predictable, but she’s also not ever surprising. She comes across as one of the most relatable tv characters you could ever see because she isn’t just one thing. She’s very contrary, she can be soft and loving or harsh and ruthless, sometimes all at the same time. She can be forgiving, she can be arrogant, self-hating, self-loving, lazy, passionate, she is quite literally everything. And while in the show’s set-up she is punished for hundreds of years when other, much more problematic people were allowed to leave this world sooner than her, the narrative wants you to feel sorry for her. You see her flaws, you see she’s anything but perfect but it won’t make you conclude that her punishment was ever deserved. The more you get into this show, the more you will ache. Because you know that there is only one possible ending to the show - for her to finally find peace. And that... that can only be achieved if she finally is allowed to leave this world. And it hurts and pains because, obviously, there is a love story. A love story that goes back to when she was a child 1,300 years ago. A love story that reunites her with the guy who saved her these 1,300 years ago and who now finds her again, someone who makes her care about her life again. As deeper as you go into the show, the more you will cry, the more you will suffer. And you will feel conflicted. You will want her to get her revenge while you will want to protect her. You will want her to finally be able to leave this world, but you won’t want her to leave Chan-sung. You will want her to actually care about her own fate while you will also want her to make the mistakes that worsen everything. It is a beautiful character put into a story that mixes fantasy, comedy, tragedy, soulmates, life, death, revenge, a stunning cinematography and strong dialogues into one. And what you get is the probably best show ever made.

SUMMARY

- Favorite character:

- Negative: There is really only one minor thing I’d criticize. While all the chars are rather complex and all subplots and character arcs work within the main plot frame and round up the entire story perfectly, there is one subplot I personally got a bit tired of because it is definitely the most unconnected one to the main plot - this concerns the romance arc of yu-na and hyun-joong. I wasn’t hating it, but I just didn’t need it for this story.

- Positive: This show has everything. I told you above already all the things I like. On top of that, I’d like to add that it has a beautiful found family story arc, promotes wonderful messages, has gotten itself the most excellent leading actress with IU who just beautifully portrays Jang Man-wol in all her depth. The show leaves you with your heart aching while there will be a smile on your face. Emotional devastation is just how this show works.

_______________

- Kdrama I'm currently watching: The Crowned Clown

- Kdramas I plan on watching soon: My Country - The New Age (watched 2 eps so far) | Signal (watched 1 ep so far) | Mr. Queen | Tale of the Nine Tailed | Moon Lovers

- Kdramas I abandoned because I didn’t get into them / disliked them: My First First Love | Goblin | Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol | Memories of the Alhambra

- If you have any suggestions for me based on my likes and dislikes, send them to me. I’m open to everything :)

#w two worlds #w two worlds apart #hotel del luna #extraordinary you #a love so beautiful #radio romance #romance is a bonus book #rookie historian goo hae ryung #the tale of nokdu #bring it on ghost #let's fight ghost #hey ghost let's fight #run on #mischa for ts #kdrama ratings

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callunavulgari · 3 years

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YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2020

So. Last year I read 112 books. The year before that I read 89. The year before that I read 39. This year I have (thus far) read 87 books out of my goal of 75 and will likely at least one or two more before the end of the year. So, click below if you want rambly book recs!

1. a book you loved?

This year has been rough. Like, I’m looking back at the books I read in January and am genuinely horrified to realize that I read them a scant twelve months ago when it feels like I read them at least three years ago. I’m glad I kept my limit lower this year, because enjoying anything this year has been harder than usual. I did read some decent books though, and I think the one I loved the most was Gideon the Ninth (and it’s sequel, Harrow the Ninth). They’re both fantastic books, and so deeply unexpected. Reading the first chapter or so of Gideon’s book is like getting whiplash. You go into it expecting angsty lady necromancers and get a crossdressing bee that secretes hallucinogenic substances and pulsates in time to the music in your head. Literally, Gideon’s dialogue is so out of left field that I spent half the book delightedly confused. But it is genuinely funny? And lesbian necromancers in space is just.. such an underutilized concept. Harrow’s book was a little harder - her head space is weird and everything is intentionally fucking with you so you really are confused for 90% of it, but I think the pay off was more than worth it.

2. a book you hated?

I was deeply, DEEPLY disappointed by The Secret Commonwealth. I finished it near the end of January and was just so fucking mad for days. Because the thing is, my expectations were not super high. I was excited for it, mostly because a grown up version of Lyra is something that I thought I would only ever experience in fanfiction. Now, I wish I’d only experienced her in fanfiction. Graphic attempted rape, retroactively confirming a rape happened in a previous book (one where it was implied that the victim got away in time), retroactively raping a character from the previous trilogy... like. I’m sorry. But fuck that noise. Fuck Philip Pullman. Fuck any douchebag asshole who thinks a woman has to be raped in order to write compelling fiction. I was riding the high of the new HBO series (which was good) and I guess I just... thought the author would have some goddamn integrity.

3. a book that made you cry?

We Are Okay was a really gorgeous, tender little book about grief that I read in one sitting in my bed when I really should have been sleeping. I read this book in March, when things only kind of hurt for me. When things were still largely okay. Before the bulk of covid hit my side of the world. Before self-isolation was an every day thing, not just something in books. Before Mal. Before getting covid. But ultimately, this was a book about healing. It aches, yes, but it also soothes.

4. a book that made you happy?

Both Beach Read and Written in the Stars made me pretty happy. Both romcoms done right, the first is a book about a romance writer falling in love with a thriller/mystery writer. They’re staying at neighboring beach houses and spend a summer getting themselves out of their comfort zones by challenging the other to write in the other person’s chosen genre. It’s sweet. It’s sexy. Over all, a really fun read, with enough depths to keep me engaged.

The second book is a meet-cute that involves astrology, fake dating, and lesbians. It’s written phenomenally well, and gave me a brief surge of happiness when I needed it most.

5. the best sequel?

Probably Harrow. The Dragon Republic is a great second choice though. Again, it’s a hard book, and I wouldn’t have been able to read it any later in the year than I did, because it is... not a happy book. But it is, in my opinion, a good one. And I am still excited about the third.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

I am hoping to get the as of yet Untitled sequel to Ninth House in 2021. I am also hoping to actually be able to read The Rhythms of War in the new year, since I doubt I’ll get a chance in 2020. I’m looking forward to Mister Impossible, the second book in the Ronan trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater. I’m looking forward to the Hourglass Throne, which I think is coming in 2021? A Desolation Called Peace in March. The Thorn of Emberlain might actually be out in October, which will be wonderful it doesn’t get pushed back again. Rule of Wolves, the King of Scars Duology in the Grishaverse will also be March. One Last Stop by Casey McQuistion in May!!!!

7. favorite new author?

Defintely Tamsyn Muir. I will also be keeping an eye out for Alexandriua Bellefleur’s stuff...

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

Uh, can I say MDSZ/The Untamed without actually having read the original text? Well, I’ve read a few chapters, but damn.

9. the most surprising book?

Taproot. It’s this little graphic novel about a gardener who can see ghosts. And like. It still makes me warm to think about how tender it is.

10. the most interesting villain?

Does Loki: Where Mischief Lies count? Since Loki is technically a villain, even if he’s only villain adjacent in this book.

11. the best makeouts?

I... don’t know? I didn’t real read any of these books for makeouts. Not this year.

12. a book that was super frustrating?

Boyfriend Material. It has great ratings! It has fake dating! But the story was very so-so for me.

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I think I yelled at Nick a few times about how pissed I was at the Secret Commonwealth.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

The House in the Cerulean Sea is a book about a case worker at the department in charge of magical youth and he is charged with traveling to an island and making a very important decision about the children living there. It was adorable and I wish I’d had a book like it when I was young.

15. a book you learned from?

That is not the sort of book that I was reading in 2020.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

I read a couple mysteries. Some were good. Most made me remember why I don’t read mysteries.

17. a book with something magical in it?

Call Down the Hawk, because all of Maggie’s books are at least a little bit magical. And while this definitely didn’t hit quite the same vibes that the Raven Cycle did, it was still very, very good.

18. the best clothes?

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth have the best goth aesthetic I have ever seen in a book. Also, The Invisible Life of Addie Larue, because Addie’s clothes always sounded cute and comfortable.

19. the most well-rounded characters?

The City We Became had some fantastic characters. It was really interesting to see Jemisin get out of her typical fantasy setting and this novel was so out of this world.

20. the best world-building?

Deeplight! It’s described as Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea meets Frankenstein and that is pretty accurate. Old gods that traversed the sea tore each other apart and now the world tries to get a hold of their corpses for amazing powers. It was really, really cool and probably the best book I could have chosen to read at the beach.

21. the worst world-building?

Eh. Most of the books I hated I didn’t keep reading this year.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

I really like all of the characters in the Tarot Sequence. There are some solid characters, even if there’s basically no women. Also Graceling.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

I was not a fan of The Mysterious Benedict Society, mostly because of the narrator. It was so boring and I quit halfway through.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

Return of the Thief. Which... was still mostly good. But the ending felt lackluster for me. I may go back and reread the series and see if it feels more genuine after I’ve read them all together.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

I literally picked up Written in the Stars because the cover was pretty and it looked like the romance was between two girls. And it did nooooot fail me.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

Shrug emoji.

27. a book cassian andor would like?

I still don’t know what to make of this question.

28. a book gina linetti would like?

Shrug emoji.

29. your favorite cover art?

Gideon and Harrow, honestly. I also really liked Under the Udala Trees.

30. a book you read in translation?

I genuinely don’t know.

31. a book from another century?

Teeeeechnically The Great Hunt?

32. a book you reread?

I reread the Diviners and the Captive Prince series near the beginning of the year. They were still delightful.

33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

Into the Drowning Deep was fucking amazing. I love Mira Grant’s work anyway and there’s this scene where a character pilots a submersible into the Marianas Trench and experiences your first face-to-face encounters with the sirens and like. AHHHHHHHHHH. It was so spooky and beautiful and just genuinely amazing.

TLDR; 2020 sucked, most books still couldn’t pierce through the depression, but there were a few bangers.

#heather says what #new year's memes #2020 #books to read #recommendations #fuck yeah recs!!

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italkaboutbooks · 4 years

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An in depth review of Aurora Rising by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman//Part 1

So...I usually don’t do this kind of thing. Normally on this blog I just give simple, non-spoiler reviews. And then I give that certain book a stared rating out of five. And then I move on with my life.

But I’m starting to realize, that I may not be able to do that. At least, not for the YA sci-fi novel Aurora Rising, written by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman.

I have a lot of thoughts on this book. I have read many reviews by other people about this book. The reviews I read were very mixed. Some people loved it and gave it 4-5 stars, and others hated it giving it 1 star. But for me, I cannot sum up my thoughts on this book with a rating out of 5, or any number for that matter. No, I have to get into the nitty gritty of this book, and explain every thought I ever had about this book.

So this is very obvious, but this will be an extremely spoilery post. I am not holding back on the spoilers, you have been warned.

Intentions

I feel like when analyzing everything Aurora Rising did, you have to understand what the authors intended it to be. Because I personally believe that Aurora Rising is just meant to be a fun time. It’s not meant to be profound, or deep, or revolutionary. I think Kristoff and Kaufman just wanted to write a light-hearted sci-fic novel about teenagers in a space academy. When I read the synopsis of this book, I could easily tell just by the tone that this wasn’t a book to take seriously, and it was just supposed to be a fun time.

And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. If you like reading stories that are just fun, good for you. I understood that when I read this book, and I think that’s why I gave it 4-stars on goodreads. Because I enjoyed it. But a part of me has to ask, does writing stories solely for fun, take away something from the story? It’s a debate that has no end, and I understand that, but here’s what I think.

Stories intended for fun? Totally cool. Sometimes we just want something fun without any messages that challenge us, even though those are extremely important. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder, especially in reading this book, what if you changed this or improved on this? Because that would make the story have more meaning.

One could argue that the most profound stories are the ones that are also fun and light-hearted. Take Disney and Pixar for example. Ignoring the questionable stuff that they as a corporation are, they have movies that are fun and light-hearted, and yet are still meaningful and can withstand time. Basically, stories can do both. Be fun and meaningful at the same time. And this might be the main problem with Aurora Rising.

Personally, I think Aurora Rising is a fun story, with little sprinkles, tiny sprinkles of meaningfulness. However some reviews said that the authors didn’t really care about making the readers care, and a part of me agrees with them. Because Aurora Rising is intended to be fun, and while that is enough for most people, and myself. I can’t help but wonder, how much better it could’ve been.

Plot

The plot of Aurora Rising is pretty basic in my opinion. However, I saw a reviewer say that it completely ripped off Firefly so...that’s disappointing to hear. Especially since these authors are apparently big names. Tyler Jones goes to a space academy, and misses the draft, a.k.a the event where graduates choose their coworkers for the job they’ve been working for years to get. Tyler misses the draft, because he received a distress call from a ship that’s about to explode, but there’s a sleeping girl there.

So Tyler gets grouped with the “worst of the worst” reputation wise and there’s also a poor girl who is trying to cope with the fact that literally everyone she knows is dead, and that she’s been sleeping for centuries.

So this girl does some creepy things and it turns out she has a bigger role to play in the fate of the world and Tyler and this gang of misfits get themselves wrapped up in it.

Pretty simple, really. There’s not much I can say on the plot. It’s not bad, it’s pretty basic. I don’t really care for basic plots. As long as the characters are great, whether they’re likeable or intriguing, I’m fine. However, I have one huge problem with the plot. And that is the ending of part 2.

The novel is separated into three parts.

Specifically, chapters 18-24. Let me try to explain to you what happens, because it had left me so confused.

So, Aurora (the girl who was asleep) keeps having strange visions. It had led the group to a black market planet essentially. The person who runs this “planet” is a criminal, I believe, who has the strongest security in the universe. The main gang is trying to break into the “criminal’s” place to steal a statue from him. There’s also a murder hungry beast that guards the place. Basically, it’s a suicide mission.

Cat, one of the characters, does not agree on following through with the plan, and for good reason to. They get into a fight about it, and Cat storms off to a bar to drink her feelings away.

While she’s at this bar, getting drunk (not a good state to be making decisions btw) the GIA comes to her. All you need to know about the GIA, is that they are looking for Aurora, and they are not going to be nice to her when they get her. They are here, because they want Aurora, and they tell Cat that. They also tell her that if she just gives them Auri, then her other crewmates, will be fine. Off the hook.

So, this girl is leading the people you care about into a dangerous situation, and people come up to you and say that if you tell them where that girl is, everything will be okay. Oh, and you’re currently drunk, and not thinking straight. What would you probably do? In this situation, I would say that you would sell Auri out.

When I read this scene, it seemed pretty simple to me. Cat was going to reveal Auri’s location, and the GIA would take her, and everyone would be pissed at Cat. But that’s not what happened.

We don’t get a scene of Cat actually selling Auri out.

The chapter ends, and in the next chapter, Cat is back with the others, going through with the plan. So I was thinking, “okay, she sold them out, but she obviously hasn’t said that, but then the GIA is going to come, and the plan would fail.”

But here’s what happens.

Cat, Tyler and Auri get super close to their goal. And the the person who ran the place caught up to them. He isn’t happy because they were breaking and entering. Then, the GIA comes, and I’m thinking that it’s game over. Cat betrayed them. They’re like, “we just need Auri but it’s okay you can beat the others up.”

Cat goes, “That wasn’t the deal.” And Tyler goes, “what deal?”

Cat basically confessed that she sold the squad out, and Tyler is rightfully upset about that. They get into an argument which turns into a fight. The GIA takes Auri away, and now I’m thinking, “Cats mistake caused Auri to fall into the wrong hands. The third part is going to be them saving her. Maybe Cat will have an arc surrounding this.”

You wanna know what happens next? The GIA agents take out the “bad guys,” and take off their masks to reveal that they were actually members of the squad all along.

What? What??

How did this happen? Does this make any sense to you? If you have read the entire book, did you understand what happened? Because I don’t have a clue how any of that made any logical sense.

Listen, I know what an unreliable narrator is, and I’m not saying it’s bad. However, if your story is so confusing that I don’t even believe that an event could’ve happened, you did something wrong.

I literally skimmed through the book again to remember what happened and I’m still confused and upset.

I think what happens is that Cat does sell Auri out, but she tells the squad what she did. And they’re apparently cool with it, and don’t get mad at her. None of these scenes are shown, so two of the members go to get GIA disguises, and it turns out that everything went according to plan all along, even though the readers are lead to believe the opposite.

I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate it because it just leaves you asking what was genuine characterization and what was just “acting” to go along with the plan. Like, did Cat actually get upset at the plan originally? Was that fight when Tyler finds out Cat sold them out a genuine fight of betrayal and anger? I don’t know. A part of it may be because I’m dumb, but I think this part in general was also way too confusing for its own good.

Not to mention that it throws out an opportunity for a character arc in Cat, that was thrown out of the window and replaced with something much cheaper in my opinion.

Personally, I wished that Cat did betray the squad and Auri does get taken by the GIA. But during the heist, Auri saves Cat (that’s an actual event btw,) from a monster. This could make Cat regret selling Auri out. Then, Cat could go and personally save Auri, as a way to amend her actions and give her an arc. I think that would’ve been much better.

But we didn’t get that. And it’s what I hate the most about the plot. I have more complaints about chapters 18-24, but we’ll get to those later.

So I’m now looking over what I just wrote, and I’m realizing that I need to split this up into more than one part. So this is part one of my deep dive thoughts on Aurora Rising. If you want to see part two, I recommend following me. Hopefully, I don’t make you regret that choice.

Part 2// Part 3

#bookblr #book reader #book review #ya book review #books on tumblr #books #bookblogger #aurora rising

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branlovestowrite · 5 years

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The Decoy Groom (2/5): A CS Fanfic

This is my CS AU loosely (very loosely) based on the movie The Decoy Bride (starring Kelly MacDonald and David Tennant; it’s super cute and highly recommended). Brennan Jones is in this story, and, as it’s a no-magic AU, Tim Omundson will be playing that role.

Title: The Decoy Groom

Rating: M for language and some suggestive scenes in future installments

Summary: After a failed turn as a musician in Los Angeles, Killian Jones has returned to his home: Storybrooke Island, a remote, tiny island off the coast of Maine. Emma Swan is a famous actress that just wants one day out of the spotlight so she can get married. Storybrooke Island, just two miles long and accessible only by ferry, seems like the answer to her prayers. But will she really be able to keep her nuptials a private affair? And can Killian find the solace he craves when there’s a world-famous actress in town?

Need to catch up? Ch1 Also on AO3

The next morning Killian walked to Granny’s for breakfast, as was his usual routine. In his short time back on the island, he’d learned that if he didn’t keep himself busy, he would go stir crazy just sitting around the house. He supposed he’d need to see if Will’s boat was taking on new guys so he’d at least have some employment.

After entering the diner and taking his usual seat, he was waited on by Granny herself, who poured him a coffee while scrutinizing him with a raised brow.

“Is there something amiss with my appearance?” he finally asked after he could no longer take her glare.

“Something happened with those visitors upstairs,” she replied, her voice low.

“How do you mean?”

“Well… you know I don’t like to gossip…”

“Naturally,” Killian responded with a smirk. One of Granny’s favorite pastimes was gossiping about the tourists. She hated when autumn came because the tourist population dwindled and she had less fodder for discussion.

“There was some big shouting match last night, and later someone caught a chopper ride back to the mainland.”

“So they’re gone then?”

She shook her head. “No one’s checked out yet. Whoever left wasn’t the girl who rented the rooms. But,” she said with a sigh, “I guess we’ll have to wait to see who’s still here. Sun’s hardly out. They’re probably not awake.”

This new information piqued Killian’s interest. He couldn’t help but look up more information on Emma Swan the night before. The more he learned about her fiancé, the less he liked her choice. Walsh Ozman was a slimy Hollywood producer who appeared to treat everyone with disdain. Killian could not understand why Emma Swan, who, according to her former castmates, was a genuinely nice person, would choose to marry a jerk like Ozman. The news that there’d been a fight last night made him think that maybe she’d finally realized he was no good for her.

He shook his head at his fanciful notions. It wasn’t like she would be interested in himself. He’d admired Emma Swan’s work in the past, and couldn’t help but want to know her after the things he’d read about her the night before. But, in all likelihood, she would be leaving the island later today, never interacting with him again.

Granny headed back to kitchen, preparing him a breakfast that he’d never actually ordered, and he took advantage of the quiet to scroll through the news on his phone. He was distracted from his reading a few minutes later by the jingle of the bell over the door. A squirrely looking man walked in, with tanned skin, close-cropped curly hair, and a beard to match. The color was more gray than the black it had likely been in his youth.

He met Killian’s eye and smiled. “Hello, I’m looking for the proprietor of this establishment.”

“You found her,” Granny said from the doorway of the kitchen. “What can I do for you?”

“I was hoping you might have a room available for rent.”

“Sorry, we are all booked up, but try back again later today. I have a feeling something might open up.”

“Thank you,” the man replied. “Let me give you my card. If you find yourself with a vacancy, I would appreciate a call.”

Granny took the card and pocketed it without looking at it. “If you want to sit down I can bring you some coffee and make you something to eat. None of the other restaurants on the island are open at this hour.”

“Thank you madam,” the man said, taking a seat at the booth directly adjacent to Killian’s. He sat with his back to the door, effectively facing the other man with only the barrier of a bench seat between them.

Granny returned to the kitchen, and, as Killian suspected he would, the other man began speaking to him.

“Do you happen to know anything about the patrons currently staying here?”

“Even if I did,” Killian responded, “I doubt Mrs. Lucas would appreciate me discussing them with someone else.”

The other man stood and joined Killian in his booth. “Forgive my impertinence. My name is Sidney Glass, and I’m a freelance journalist. I received a tip that there may be someone of interest currently staying on the island. I could pay handsomely for any information that might help me find who I’m looking for.”

Killian stared at the other man. “I’m afraid I can’t help you. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like some solace while I drink my coffee.”

Effectively dismissed, Sidney Glass stood. “Please make my apologies to Mrs. Lucas. I’ve just remembered a previous engagement.” He left the diner, and Killian had to fight back to urge to run upstairs and warn the lovely lady Swan that the press had somehow found her here.

Laying in her bed, Emma sank deeper into the pillow and groaned. She’d cried so much the night before. She was mad at Walsh, of course, for cheating on her. And at herself for being so blind. And at Zelena for sleeping with a man she knew was engaged to another woman. And herself for being so blind. She had spent the whole night crying and drinking the champagne that was supposed to be for her post-wedding toast.

Elsa had been by her side for most of the evening. Emma was so grateful to have her friend here. Elsa was technically her manager, but over the years they’d worked together, their relationship had evolved to be so much more. Elsa was like a sister to Emma. As terrible as she felt this morning, she would be much worse off if she hadn’t had her friend with her.

A few minutes earlier, Elsa had offered to go downstairs and fetch some coffee before they started making plans for their next steps. Emma sat up slowly, longing for the caffeine that would help her feel more normal.

A knock came at the door and, before Emma could get out of bed, Elsa stepped inside the room. “That was fast,” Emma remarked. She then caught sight of her friend’s empty hands and sighed in realization. “Because you didn’t actually get it. Where’s the coffee?”

“I’m sorry,” Elsa said as she closed the door. “I went downstairs to get it, but Sidney Glass was down there!”

Emma paled. “Shit! What the hell is he doing here?! Did he see you? Could he be here for another reason?”

“No, he didn’t see me. I don’t think he’s here for another reason. The cute guy from yesterday was down there, and Sidney asked him for information on the people who were staying here.”

“Cute guy from yesterday?”

“Yes, Emma,” Elsa replied with an annoyed look. “You know. The one with the dark hair and blue eyes. We met him outside before we checked in.”

“Oh yeah. Did he give anything away to Glass?”

“Thankfully no. But you know Sidney! He won’t give up so easily. Short of confining ourselves to this room, I don’t know how we’re going to escape him.”

“That might not even work," Emma said with a sigh. "If he gets wind that there was a helicopter departure yesterday, he might talk to the pilot and find out Walsh was the passenger.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “Oh hell. What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Elsa replied, looking defeated.

“I’ll get massacred by the press if they get wind of the breakup this way.”

Her friend stared at her disbelievingly. “Wait, you want them to think you and Walsh are still together?”

“On principle, no. Walsh is a slimy son of a bitch and I don’t want my name associated with him any longer than it has to be. But in practice, I don’t have much of a choice until I can get back home. If the story leaks that we broke up and then I come out two weeks later saying he’s a misogynistic asshole, I just look like a jealous ex.”

“I hate to be Debbie Downer, but what’s to stop Walsh from doing that now? He’s most likely back in LA today.”

“He’ll want to time to spin it.” Emma paced the small length of the room. “Fuck…”

“What if…” Elsa began, but stopped herself short, snapping her mouth closed.

Emma gave her a curious look. “No, go on. Any idea will help brainstorm.”

Elsa stepped closer to her friend and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Let me get through this before you interrupt.” She took a deep breath and walked the same path Emma had a moment before. “What if we beat Sidney at his own game? Let him think there was a wedding today. He publishes it, but then when the breakup comes out next week, he ends up getting discredited.”

Emma looked at her friend with a furrowed brow. “How would we do that?”

“We stage the wedding with a decoy groom. Sidney thinks we don’t know he’s here, so he’s going to try and get pictures surreptitiously. He knows how much you want to keep the press out, so he’s going to try and be sneaky. We make sure he only gets photos from the back. We keep your veil on the entire ceremony so it’s not entirely clear that you’re in the pictures. Worst case, he goes to press with inconclusive photos.”

“Who would we get to be the decoy groom? There’s only 60 people on this island, and the average age is 50. I doubt we’ll find anyone who looks like Walsh, even from behind.”

“We’ve already found him! The cute guy. He’s about the same height as Walsh. He’s got dark hair. I brought my shears with me. I can cut his hair to look like Walsh’s. He doesn’t have to be an exact match. Just enough to make Sidney think it’s legit. Once Sidney thinks he has his story, he’ll leave the island.”

“I don’t know…” Emma replied. “Maybe we’d be better to just stay in the room today.”

“And what about tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that? Sidney Glass hid out in the attic of Regina Mills’ pool house for six weeks to get pictures of her when she was having an affair with Graham Humbert! He doesn’t give up easy.”

“You make a good point.” Emma sat down on the edge of the bed in a huff. “Is cute guy still downstairs?”

Elsa smiled in triumph. “I’ll go see.”

“Bring back coffee,” Emma said before her friend left the room entirely.

Killian was just finishing his eggs with he noticed an attractive blonde woman approaching from his left. Not the blonde he’d secretly been hoping to see, but her companion.

He looked up and met her steely blue eyes. “May I help you?”

“Do you mind if I sit?” she asked, her tone business-like.

“By all means.” He gestured to the bench seat on the opposite side of his booth.

She took a seat and extended her hand across the table. “Elsa Frost.”

“Killian Jones,” he replied, taking her hand in his.

“I’ll get down to business, Mr. Jones. I represent a client that I’d rather not name in public, although I suspect you may be aware of who she is.”

“I had an inkling…” He was intrigued by what this woman could want.

“My client has a request of a somewhat… unusual nature. I was hoping you could join us for a cup of coffee upstairs to discuss in a more private setting.”

Killian sat back and stared for a short moment, pretending the think on the idea. He held out just long enough to temper his excitement about a chance to meet Emma Swan in person. Leaning forward once more, he smiled and said “How can I say no to that?” Standing, he walked to the bar, stepped around the counter, took out three paper cups, and filled them from the carafe. “Do either you or your client take cream and sugar?”

Five minutes later, Killian stood alone in one of the rooms in the Inn, waiting on Elsa to retrieve her client. Part of him could not believe he would be face-to-face with Emma Swan in a matter of minutes. It all seemed so surreal. To calm himself, he stared out the window of the room and watched the seals play on a rocky outcropping. It had been a long time since he’d just watched the seals, and he quickly became mesmerized. He did not realize the two women had entered the room until Elsa cleared her throat.

He turned and faced Emma Swan, his heart immediately breaking for her. Her red-rimmed eyes indicated she’d been crying recently. Her beautiful blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and she wore a baggy cream-colored sweater with leggings and thick socks. However, even with her casual attire and tired appearance, he found her more beautiful than the publicity photos he’d been looking through the night before.

They stood in awkward silence for a moment longer before Emma extended her hand. “Mr. Jones, thank you for speaking with us. I’m Emma Swan.”

He took her hand and shook it dazedly. “Of course, Miss Swan. It’s a pleasure…” he trailed off.

“So…” Emma began, seemingly just as much at a loss for words as he was. “The reason…”

Before the situation could become more uncomfortable, Elsa jumped in. “Emma came to the island to get married, but her fiancé had to leave due to an emergency. However, we don’t want the press to know he is gone. Surely you’ve heard of the struggles Emma has had with the press?”

“I have,” he replied.

“And I think you are aware that there is a journalist currently on the island, looking for information about this very situation?”

“I am.”

“We have a proposition for you. We would like Mr. Glass to leave this island thinking he has photographs of a wedding between Ms. Swan and Walsh Ozman. As Walsh is not here, we are in need of a stand-in.”

“A stand-in?”

“Yes.”

“But I don’t look like Walsh Ozman.”

“Not from the front, no. But with a little trim of your hair, I can make you look like him from behind. And that’s all we need.”

“I don’t have a suit.”

“You look to be the same size as Walsh, and I have the wedding clothes with me in a separate bag. I can do some minor alterations.”

“I’m still not sure about this…” Killian said, feeling his right hand fly up to scratch behind his ear, his old nervous tick.

“This was a stupid idea,” Emma suddenly said. “Let’s just give it up, Elsa. Let Sidney run a story about how Emma Swan can’t keep a man. It’s not like they’ve never said that before.”

Killian felt anger flare in his chest at her defeated tone. “Now hold on, lass, I didn’t say ‘no.’” Her head snapped up and she met his gaze for the first time that morning. “I’m willing to help.”

“What do you want in exchange?” Emma said, her eyes narrowed.

“It would be bad form to require something for helping out a lady in distress.”

“Bad form? Lady in distress? Where are you from? The nineteenth century?”

“No, I simply possess a broad vocabulary and enjoy using it,” he replied, a bit put out by her comment.

“Nevertheless,” Elsa interjected, “you will be compensated for your time. And for signing a standard Non-Disclosure Agreement stating that you will not share the particulars of this situation with anyone without first obtaining mine or Miss Swan’s express permission.”

“I’ll sign an NDA if it makes you feel better, but I have no intention of telling anyone.”

“We’ll take that in writing. Please stay here. I’m going to return to my room and pull up an agreement on my laptop. Are you comfortable with providing an electronic signature? Otherwise I will need to see if Mrs. Lucas has a printer I can use.”

“Electronic is fine.”

“Great. Why don’t you and Emma stay here and get acquainted while I take care of that?”

Elsa exited the room and Emma looked at him nervously. Killian groaned quietly to himself. What the hell was he getting into?

Emma looked up at the attractive, blue-eyed stranger before her. Standing even closer to him now, she noticed his broad chest and muscular arms. As her eye traveled down his arm to observe his strong, elegant hands, she felt a jolt of lust. Her traitorous mind couldn’t help but think about how it would feel to have those hands slide down her back or dig into her thigh as he…

Killian cleared his throat and looked at her with one eyebrow raised and she realized she was biting her lip whilst staring at his hands. She blushed and shook her head to clear her dazed mind. What was this strong attraction she felt to him? She’d noticed it first yesterday, but in the wake of Walsh’s betrayal, it was as if her carnal mind wanted to bed someone else in retaliation.

“So,” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and hugging herself tightly, “do you live on this island?”

“Aye, though I only just returned after living in L.A. for five years.”

“Really? What were you doing there?”

“Trying and failing to make it big as a musician.”

“What do you play?”

“Guitar.”

“Are you any good?”

“I think so.”

“Then why was it a failed endeavor?”

“A combination of things. Some of my bandmates were less than cooperative. And we had some creative differences. And it is a rather difficult business to make it big in. I think we just didn’t get our big break, and I tired of the struggle.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, it would still have been a struggle if you had ‘made it big.’ Take it from me, fame is not all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Do you mind me asking why you were so against the press at your wedding? Seems like you made the problem worse for yourself by fighting against them.”

“You’re probably right,” Emma sighed. She moved over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. “When I was a kid, I was a big nobody. A foster kid who jumped from home to home and never had a family of her own. Then, when I was fifteen, I got a foster mother who wanted to be a stage mom, and she took me to every audition she possibly could. I found out that I was good at acting. For the first time in my life, I had something that made me unique, you know?”

“Yeah,” he replied in a near whisper. She looked up at him to see an earnest stare. He seemed truly mournful for the child she’d been.

She sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “So, I got a part in a TV show, and that was my big break. But Victoria, that was my foster mom, she pocketed all the money I was making. And she was greedy, selling me out for appearances or ‘exclusive’ interviews. The press fed off of it. And I rebelled, which only made them chase me more. By the time I was seventeen, I couldn’t go anywhere without being hounded by them. And, to add to my trouble, I was flat broke because Victoria wouldn’t give me any of the money I made. It was ridiculous. I was making more money than I’d ever dreamed I could, but I still had to steal tampons from the drug store.”

“And then you got caught,” Killian filled in.

“Yeah… I got arrested for shoplifting. But, the silver lining to that is that I met my lawyer, David Nolan, and he helped me file for emancipation and sue Victoria for the money she was keeping from me.”

“Did you get it back?”

“Not a penny. She’d spent most of it as fast as I made it. At least, since I was emancipated, I was able to keep what I made going forward. But by then I had a reputation with the press, and they expected me to be a bad girl. Every move I made was scrutinized. And I’ve never been able to shake that, even now, ten years later. I just wanted to have one day where they weren’t judging my every move. Where I could just be myself.”

“That makes perfect sense.” Emma looked up at him again, and found nothing more than understanding in his eyes.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “for… getting it.”

“Well, my story is different, but we have some of the same themes.”

“Yeah? What’s your story?”

“Well,” he began, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was born in England, and for a few years it was nice. Mum and Dad and my older brother Liam. Then Mum got sick, and she passed before I was five.”

“I’m sorry.”

He waved his dismissively. “Thank you, but it was a long time ago. What hurt more was that not long after that, Dad abandoned Liam and I. He was part of a auto theft ring, and when one of his partners was caught, he ran to avoid getting arrested himself. Just up and left us one night.”

“What did you do?”

“We went to live with a distant relative. Uncle John never had any kids of his own and I believe he rather resented us. He left us to fend for ourselves quite often. Then, just as I was entering secondary school, John was contacted by our father. He’d cleared his name and was living in the States and wanted us to join him. John shipped us off on the first flight to Boston and we haven’t seen him since. When we arrived, we learned Dad had remarried and was living here on the island with his wife and their son, William.”

“Isn’t that…”

“The anglicized form of Liam? Aye. Believe me, my brother and I were right pissed off at Brennan Jones for essentially trying to replace us. But we eventually came around. Not for him, but for Will and his mother, Angie.”

“Are they still here?”

“Liam moved back home a few years back, but Dad and Will are still here.”

“Angie…?”

“Died last year.”

“Damn. Your dad’s a widow twice over? That’s fucked up.”

“The old man’s cursed.”

“So why did you come back here? Why not join your older brother?”

“Dad hasn’t been the same since Angie died. And Will works on a fishing boat and has a young wife and a child on the way, so he can’t be around as much.”

“So you came back to care for the dad that abandoned you when you were little?”

“He’s a right bastard, but he’s still my Dad.”

“You’re a good man, Killian Jones.”

“I hope so,” he replied, his eyes glassy.

Thirty minutes later Killian stood in a room with Elsa, wearing the suit Walsh Ozman was meant to wear at his wedding. He was still struggling with the idea that he would be spending the day pretending to marry Emma Swan.

“This fit isn’t too bad,” Killian said, tugging the sleeves of the jacket down. Although he and Walsh were roughly the same height, his limbs seemed to be longer than those of the other man’s.

“I think I need to take the hems out an inch on the jacket and pants, then you should be good,” Elsa said. “I wonder if Mrs. Lucas has a sewing machine I can use. It’d be much easier if I didn’t have to do this by hand.”

“I believe she does, but truly, you needn’t go to the effort. Who’s going to notice if the suit is slightly ill-fitting?”

“It has to fit you like a glove,” Elsa replied. “Sidney isn’t going to buy the story if there’s any indication that you aren’t Walsh, and Walsh would never wear an ill-fitting suit, no matter how slight the problem.” She stepped back and took him in. “Thank god I kept the suit with me instead of letting him pack it,” she muttered to herself. Looking up to his face again she smiled. “Go ahead and change out of it while I run down to see if I can borrow the sewing machine.”

She was out the door before Killian could say a word. He removed the suit and once more donned his jeans and henley. As he laid the garments back on the bed, marveling at the expense of them, he heard a knock at the door.

He surmised the visitor must be Emma, since Elsa would have charged into the room after a perfunctory knock. However, when he opened the door, he was met with the face of a smaller man with red curly hair, wearing a very ill-fitting suit and thick glasses. “Can I help you?” Killian asked.

“Hello, yes, sir. My name is Archie Hopper, and I’ll be the officiant for the ceremony today. I need you to fill out some paperwork.” He handed Killian a small stack of paperwork.

Killian held his hands up and refused to take the documents. “I’m not sure that’s necessary…” he trailed off.

“Don’t worry. Mrs. Frost explained everything to me. This is just a formality.” He pushed the documents in the other man’s direction once more

“Are you sure?” Killian replied, reluctantly taking the pages and thumbing through them.

“Indeed,” Hopper responded. “We want this to be convincing, do we not?” The man leaned forward and winked, the gesture oddly magnified by his eyewear.

“Erm… yes.” Killian moved to the desk in the room and took up a pen, beginning to fill out the forms.

“I’ll need to see your ID as well,” Hopper said.

“Sure.” Absently, Killian fished his wallet out of his back pocket and extracted his license. It was still his California ID. He hadn’t yet obtained a new Maine driver’s license. He handed the card to the other man.

Hopper took a picture of the front and back of Killian’s ID and placed the card on the desk while Killian continued to complete the documents. He was done a moment later, and Hopper gathered everything up and turned to leave. The door opened just as he approached it and Elsa entered.

“Mr. Hopper. Is everything in order?”

“Oh yes, Miss Frost. Quite so. I was just speaking with our groom for a moment before the ceremony.” He said groom in a slightly mocking tone, and Elsa gave him a tight smile in reply.

“Remember the agreement you signed, Mr. Hopper,” she said in a commanding voice.

“Of course, Miss Frost. I’ll just head down to the church now and meet you there later today.”

“Thank you. And, if you would be so kind, the photographer is also downstairs in the common room. If you could point him in the direction of the church, I will be very appreciative.”

“I’ll do you one better and walk with him,” Hopper said with a silly smile.

“Thank you Mr. Hopper. I’ll see you at the church.”

Hopper thankfully knew a dismissal when he saw one, and left the room. Elsa turned back to Killian, donning a pair of shears. “Alright Mr. Jones, are you ready for your haircut?”

Emma walked down the aisle of the picturesque church. She took her place next to a tall man with dark hair who, after Elsa’s intervention, looked so much like Walsh from behind that Emma had been momentarily fooled into thinking that the last 18 hours had been a bad dream. Which of course made her feel like crying all over again. The only thing holding her tears at bay was her fear of ruining the beautiful makeup Elsa had applied an hour earlier. This was supposed to be her perfect, private, wedding that she could share with the people who meant the most to her. Instead she was play acting with a stranger. She felt incredibly grateful that they’d decided to keep the veil over her face, thereby masking her expression of pain.

“Shall we proceed with the ceremony?” the kind man named Mr. Hopper asked, looking to Elsa. This was Emma’s first time meeting the man, and she found his sweet disposition calming.

“Yes,” Elsa replied curtly. She’d ensured Emma that, after a thorough search, there were no bugs in the church, but just to be sure, they’d decided that they would play out the ceremony as realistically as possible. As far as the walls of the building were concerned, Emma Swan and Walsh Ozman were being married that day. Still, Emma kept her eye on her friend as she paced the perimeter of the small room, keeping an eye out for Sidney.

The church was beautiful, with stone arches, an intricate wooden ceiling, and lovely stained-glass windows. The structure of the room worked to their advantage, as the ceremony took place up front, in the chancel, which was cut off from the rest of the room. The triptych of stained-glass windows behind the altar, while allowing plenty of light into the room, were impossible to see through. There was absolutely no way a person could get a picture of their faces without being in the room with them.

Speaking of which, the photographer they’d hired stepped gracefully around them, quietly snapping pictures. Emma had wanted to turn him away, but Elsa had felt it would be better to proceed as planned with him, so that there was one less person in on the secret. She had told the man that the couple was extremely private and did not want any close up shots, and that there should be no pictures taken of the kiss.

Emma disagreed with her friend on that point, but the entire plan made her so nervous that she was ready to agree to anything just to get through the day. She only needed to get through a few more minutes, and then hopefully Sidney would get his picture and Emma could return to her room to hide out in peace.

They’d just been declared man and wife when everything went to hell. A sound of breaking glass came from behind them, and a man awkwardly fell through a panel of one of the other windows along the side of the building. Everyone looked over their shoulders to see the face of Sidney Glass trying extract himself from an awkward, and likely painful, position.

Elsa immediately stepped into action, yelling out “what the hell?!” as loud as she could while crossing the room toward the man. Emma noticed that Killian was still looking at the man and nearly about to turn around and go help him. Her internal alarm bells screamed as images of Sidney discovering the whole story and using it to destroy what remained of her reputation flashed through her head.

Roughly she grabbed Killian’s arm, still wearing her veil, and pulled him toward a door off to the side of the chancel.

“What are you doing?” he protested. “That man’s bleeding! He needs help!”

“That’s Sidney Glass, and he deserves to bleed!” she hissed as she yanked open a door and shoved Killian inside before following him in. It took a few tries to get the door to close because the damned lace train, which had seemed so sensible when she purchased her dress, was now getting stuck in the door jamb. She finally extracted her skirts and pulled hard to close the door behind her. Her body immediately collided with Killian’s. She had a momentary lapse in judgment, where she couldn’t think about anything other than how firm his chest felt and how good he smelled. But then she came to her senses and whirled around.

“What the hell are you doing?” she whispered. “Back up and give me a little space!”

“Sorry to say, love, but there isn’t any space to give you.” He reached above his head and pulled a cord that was connected to a single light bulb. When the dim light flooded the area, she realized what he meant. She’d thought they were going into a hallway, or at least an office, but it turned out that they stood pressed tightly together in a cleaning closet.

“Oh fuck,” Emma cursed.

“Oh fuck indeed,” Killian echoed.

Thanks to all those who liked and reblogged last week! I tried to add everyone who reblogged to the tag list, but Tumblr’s giving me trouble.

@artistic-writer @bubblegum1425 @captainkillianswanjones @fairytaleprincessatlast @flslp87 @gingerchangeling @hollyethecurious @hookswan25 @initiala @jonirobinson64 @kday426 @kingofmyheart14 @kmomof4 @kymbersmith-90 @laschatzi @nerdyhuntress @nikkiemms @objectsatsleepstayatsleep @princesseslikepirates @resident-of-storybrooke @searchingwardrobes @sherlockianwhovian @shireness-says @snidgetsafan @snowbellewells @teamhook @thejacketandthehook @thejollyroger-writer @thislassishooked @welllpthisishappening @winterbythesea @winterbaby89 @wingedlioness @withheartfulloflove @wyntereyez

#cs ff #cs au #cs fanfic #captain swan #captain swan au #the decoy groom #branwrites

55 notes · View notes

periilune · 5 years

Note

Answer all 200

damn okay you asked for it:

(this was asked a long time ago and its just being posted now bc its 200 fuckin questions f u kars jk love you)

1. What is your middle name?

Elizabeth

2. Do you have any nicknames?

Liz, Laur, Lau, Squid, Koala, Rhyne, Babe

3. Do you have any allergies?

Not to my knowledge

4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?

Too long,, like I could sit on it

5. Apple or PC?

6. Favorite flavor?

In general probably some kinda cheese but for sweet stuff is cookie dough

7. Have you ever been on a blind date?

Bold of you to assume I’ve even been on a date (no I haven’t)

8. Are you friends with any of your exes?

2 of them actually!

9. What kind of car do you drive?

I can’t even drive,, but I have a Toyota Avalon waiting for me when I can

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?

It really depends, I’m very correct when texting adults, decent when texting acquaintances, absolute disaster with good friends

11. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?

Probs the UK or Italy, the UK bc I have several friends there and its very nice, and Italy for good food and good views

12. Creamy or chunky peanut butter?

Creamy all the way

13. Favorite food to pig out on?

Pizza

14. DC or Marvel?

Marvel!

15. Disney or Nickelodeon?

God idk,, probably Nickelodeon

16. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer?

Yes, one from Kiawah Island (very nice place) and a couple random ones

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?

The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan, considering that was like my 3rd time reading it yeah I do

18. Do you read any magazines?

Nah

19. Coffee or tea?

Not a fan of either, I guess I’d pick coffee

20. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?

Red Velvet Frappucino

21. How many things can do with your weaker hand?

Oh You Know ;) in all honestly not much, I can catch because I used to play softball

22. Last show you binge watched?

Currently binge watching My Hero Academia!

23. Dogs or cats?

Cats

24. Favorite Disney princess?

Mulan or Moana I think

25. Do you like fast food?

Generally yeah

26. Favorite thing to cook for yourself?

Pasta and some type of garlic or cheesy or toasted bread

27. Favorite song to sing in the shower?

Currently Morning in America by John Bellion

28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?

I don’t think so

29. iPhone/iPad or Android?

Android

30. Any styles of music you do not like?

Most country tbh, excluding John Denver n Carrie Underwood they’re both great

31. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it?

Not quite, but pretty close. We were dating so I’d say I liked it

32. Have you ever gotten a ticket while driving?

I can’t drive so no!

33. Favorite emoji?

💖 or 🍒 I think

34. Showers or baths?

Showers for convenience, but the occasional bath is nice to relax

35. Is there anything you regret buying?

Some clothes I have I don’t like, my fake airpods that don’t work

36. Are you fluent in more than one language?

Not yet, but I’m learning Spanish!

37. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over again and enjoy just as much every time?

Black Panther, The Last Unicorn, any of The Lord of the Rings trilogy

38. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed?

Around 155-160 pounds

39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where?

Not yet

40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?

Yep.

41. Favorite school subject?

I used to love English but not so much anymore, right now in in Psychology and its really cool tbh

42. Favorite non-chocolate candy?

Fuckin uh,, airheads are pretty good

43. Name one celebrity you dislike.

Johnny Depp is a shitty abuser.

44. If you could have one superpower, which one would you most like to have?

Telekinesis I think

45. From 1-10, rate your singing ability.

46. From 1-10, rate your dancing ability.

47. From 1-10, rate your cooking ability.

48. From 1-10, rate your driving ability.

49. Are you religious?

I’m really not sure, I was raised religious but I’m questioning a lot atm

50. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?

Yep, I like Cherry Coke

51. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?

No, but I’ve been with someone who has

52. Spring or autumn?

Autumn

53. Do you play any sports?

Not now, but I’ve played soccer, softball, and basketball in the past

54. Can you play any musical instruments?

Nope

55. Are you more introverted or extroverted?

Introverted

56. How easily do you cry?

My dude,, so easily

57. Last musical artist you saw live?

My Lord and Savior Avi Kaplan

58. Favorite YouTube channel?

Not 2 be That person but I genuinely like Markiplier tbh

59. Star Wars or Star Trek?

Star Wars

60. How long have you known your best friend?

Well 1 of them funnily enough our moms knew each other when he was a baby and I was unborn, but we really met in 6th grade. My other best friend I met about 3 years ago :)

61. Have you ever voted for a reality show?

I think so

62. Last CD you bought? uhhhhh maybe a pentatonix cd dunno which one

63. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship?

Nope I’m the one who gets dumped

64. Have you ever been broken up with? See above (3 times)

65. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show? Nah

66. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?

A year and 3 months currently, and yes

67. Have you seen any Broadway plays or musicals?

Nope

68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?

Yes! I’ve been in The Wizard of Oz (twice!), Little Shop of Horrors, Seussical the Musical, and the Little Mermaid

69. How flexible are you?

Not very

70. Have you ever sexted? Yes…

71. Do you own any clothes from garage sales or thrift stores?

Yep

72. Real or fake Christmas trees?

We’ve had a fake one my whole life, but I’d like to have a real one some day

73. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2-3

74. How well can you write in cursive?

Not great, but I can get the job done

75. What is your political affiliation?

Not officially affiliated, but rather left

76. Do you like any boy bands?

The Backstreet Boys duh

77. Have you ever broken any bones?

Just a couple small ones in my toe

78. Have you ever gotten any stitches?

Nah

79. Do you have any piercings in places other than your ears?

Not yet

80. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it? One of my favorite pairs of shorts is pretty old

81.Do you like wearing hats?

Depends on the hat, I have a handful of baseball caps I like

82. Have you ever dyed your hair?

At one point I had the tips dyed purple, but now I regularly dye it to make it slightly lighter and redder

83. From 1-10, how competitive are you?

Like 8 probably, I’m not very athletic but I’m competitive about other things

84. How long have you been at your current job?

Since November 2017

85. Have you ever studied abroad?

Nope

86. Phrase you say the most?

“Oof”

87. Have you ever quit a job?

Nah

88. Have you ever gotten fired from a job?

Nah

89. Have you ever won a trophy? If so, what for?

Yes! For cheerleading competitions, 3rd place in making a video for a club, in a soccer tournament, and probably some others idk

90. Have you ever been a Boy/Girl Scout?

I was a girl scout but that was a while ago

91. Last thing that made you laugh?

Uhh last night some dumb meme my boyfriend showed me

92. Do you eat meat?

Yes

93. Are you more of a morning or a night person?

Night person, but I’m also old so it’s hard to stay up late

94. Worst habit?

Chewing fingernails, isolating myself from people when I’m sad

95. Deepest fear?

Uhhh that everyone who says they care about me is actually lying and talking about me behind my back

96. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah pretty much

97. If you could take home any animal from the zoo, what animal would you take?

An otter! I love them

98. Do you consider rapping singing?

I wouldn’t say it’s singing bc its different, but it’s certainly an art form and it has every place in the music industry

99. Favorite costume you wore for Halloween? How old were you?

When i was a ninja that was sick, i was probably 12-13

100. Favorite store to shop at?

For clothes? Maybe Plato’s Closet (nice secondhand place) but I also do a lot of online shopping

101. Have you ever given anyone CPR?

102. Favorite Pokémon?

Cresselia is dope but also Eevee

103. Do you own any homemade clothing?

Probably

104. Do you drink alcohol at all? If so, what is your drink of choice?

I’ve drunk once, vodka mixed with Hawaiian punch and it was p good

105. Have you ever skinny dipped?

No i’m fat

106. Favorite type of cookie?

Warm chocolate chunk

107. Favorite flavor of ice cream?

Oreo or chocolate chip cookie dough. The best thing i’ve ever had was a red velvet oreo milkshake tho

108. Biggest pet peeve?

When people interrupt or ignore me

109. Are you still friends with anyone from high school?

I mean I just graduated so yes

110. Favorite literary character?

Oohhhh, maybe Sam from LoTR? He was the realest friend ever

111. Are your birth parents still together?

Yeah

112. Do you wear or have your ever worn glasses?

Nope, 20/20 babeyyyy

113. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang out with?

Like 6, one of those being my mom lol

114. Have you ever been the victim of a prank?

Not that I can remember

115. Do you belong to a fraternity or a sorority?

116. Have you ever taken a nude selfie?

perhaps..

117. Are you adopted?

118. Favorite fandom?

Ugh fandoms r gross, maybe the rwby fandom?

119. Oldest memory?

Trying to strangle myself at pre-school aged 4 lmaoooo

120. Have you ever snorted when you laughed?

A couple times

121. Can you drive stick?

Can’t drive at all!

122. Favorite Disney song?

How Far I’ll Go, or maybe Go The Distance

123. Random boy’s name.

Leo

124. Random girls’ name.

Natalie

125. How often do you eat out at a nice restaurant?

Once a month? Not often, I’ve done it twice in 3 days recently tho bc it was my birthday

126. How many people are in your nuclear family?

3, me and my parents

127. What accent do you consider the most attractive?

Gosh, not to be basic but probably British, although I don’t really know many others

128. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?

INFP i think? Maybe INFJ

129. What is your astrological sign?

Leo! (capricorn moon and cancer rising)

130. Biggest regret?

Trying to make someone care again who had no intention of doing so

131. What type of shoes do you wear the most?

My checkered vans, I swear I wore them every day of senior year

132. Do you like any soap operas?

133. Do you listen to talk radio?

Not often

134. What sports team(s) do you root for?

SF Giants, Carolina Panthers, Charlotte Hornets, Duke, Kentucky

135. Describe your sense of humor.

Ridiculously stupid, inside jokes

136. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?

Yeah, my ex-girlfriend lmao

137. Favorite video game?

Overwatch

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised.

When i got a mf perfect score on my ACT

139. Do you believe in serendipity?

I had to look that up but I guess so

140. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was done?

I don’t think so, one time the movie malfunctioned and cut off like an hour in and we had to leave

141. Have you ever felt you were born in the wrong period of history?

Nah, everything has always sucked, but now is somewhat less sucky than before bc we have the internet

142. Is sex before marriage wrong?

143. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?

Yes omg, fuckin Girls Like You, fuck you Adam Levine

144. Can you handle spicy food?

Only slightly spicy

145. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as darling, honey, babe, or dear?

I call my friend Ryker babe all the time, and call most of my friends “love”

146. Do you like MTV?

Nah not really

147. Where on your body are you the most ticklish?

Probably ribs area

148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?

The Princess Bride is so quotable, so maybe that idk, I quote memes more than anything

149. Have you ever lived with a roommate you didn’t get along with?

Can I say my parents? I’ve never lived not in my house, but I’m about to go to college and I hope I like my roommate

150. Where do you think is the best place to meet a new lover?

Either school or through mutual friends?

151. Have you ever successfully been on a diet?

I mean I’ve lost weight but it wasn’t a diet, just not eating lol

152. Favorite thing to do outside?

Have a photoshoot, jk I love looking at flowers, also swimming is good

153. Where did you go on your last vacation?

Kiawah Island, for grad week

154. Do you say “y'all” at all?

Yes, I live in the south and started using it ironically but now I can’t stop

155. Have you ever lived on a farm?

156. Do you believe in evolution?

There’s scientific evidence for it, so yes

157. What TV channel do you watch the most?

Honestly HGTV those houses are awesome

158. Favorite Beatles song?

Hmmmm, Maybe A Day In The Life or Eleanor Rigby, I Am The Walrus is always good too ngl

159. Have you ever been on TV?

On like the local channels for school awards and such

160. Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland?

I went to Disneyland last summer!

161. Do you like horror movies?

Not really, I’m a pussy

162. Do you like to go fishing?

163. Have you ever been hunting?

164. Do you take medication for anything?

Yes, for ye olde depression

165. Name one item from your bucket list.

Get a novel published

166. From 1-10, how much do you like children?

3 maybe, they’re kinda annoying

167. Have you ever thought about your wedding?

Yes, but my ideas have changed over time

168. Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving?

No, but I’d like to

169. Favorite flower?

Hmmm Sunflowers? or Snapdragons, or the pink magnolias

170. Do you collect anything?

Enamel pins, and rwby blind box figurines (it’s not an addiction I swear)

171. Who was the last person you told a lie to?

My mom probably

172. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?

Nope

173. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true?

Not that I know of

174. What was your favorite toy to play with when you were a child?

Hmmmm I had this little Narnia figurine set that I loved, also a bunch of littlest pet shop toys

175. How good are you at math?

Pretty good, I took AP Calculus in high school and got an A, doesn’t mean I liked it

176. Have you ever learned anything from a how-to YouTube video?

Not that I can think of right now

177. Have you ever participated in a science fair?

Yes, it was required in 6th grade

178. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?

Womanhood is difficult and I often wish I did not have to bear it, but I’ve made peace with it

179. Have you ever participated in a public protest?

No, I’m scared

180. Do you have a pool at your house?

181. Have you ever hosted a wild party?

No lol, the wildest was probably my birthday party when we all got high and then had a 1 am McDonalds run because munchies

182. Do you like karaoke?

Not really

183. Have you ever written a love letter?

Kind of yes, I’m rather sappy

184. Have you ever ran a marathon?

God no, I’ve done a lot of 5Ks though

185. How often do you get mad at yourself?

So much, I suck

186. Any guilty pleasures?

Probably shitty old Warrior Cats AMVs, those are great when you’re bored and need to remember your roots

187. Fruits or vegetables?

Vegetables solely because potatoes fuckin slap

188. Do you live in a house or an apartment?

In a house, but I’m about to move into a dorm

189. The countryside or the suburbs?

Suburbs, I’ve lived in them my whole life, also listen to Subdivisions by Rush it’s great

190. Worst job you’ve ever had?

I’ve only had 1 job so I guess working at Chick-fil-A

191. Do you hang out with any of your co-workers?

Yes, one of them was my friend from school as well so I hang out with her regularly

192. Were you ever voted homecoming/prom king or queen?

Nope, but my good friends were prom king and queen!

193. Were you voted a “best” or “most likely to” in high school?

No, but I was “Most Likely To Be President - Girl” in elementary school so take that

194. Have you ever gotten detention?

No I’m a good kid

195. Have you ever babysat?

Yes, we watched disney movies and played dress-up

196. Have you ever taken a road trip just for the fun of it?

Nah, but I’d like to

197. How many drinks get you tipsy?

Idk, I was a little funny after 2 vodka spiked punches so

198. Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college?

Certainly yes, Technology Student Association, Beta club, Book club

199. Have you ever given a public speech, aside from your schooling?

I did the sermon one Sunday at church, but I’m not a big fan of public speaking

200. How long have you been on tumblr?

5 years in november! (God thats awful)

@officieel i did it bastard

#asks #officieel #if you've ever wanted to know anything about me here it is

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fabricadeconhecimentos · 5 years

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The Complete Copywriting Course : Write To Sell in 2019

WANT TO BE A BETTER COPYWRITER?Are you struggling to make sense of all the information out there? Are you stuck for words? Or just plain don't know where to start?LEMME KNOW IF THIS SOUNDS FAMILIAR:You sit down to write but the words don't come. When they do, they sound floppy, lifeless, flat on the page. Worse, you feel kinda greasy, gloopy -- a little bit 'scuzzy'.And even though you've studied blog post after blog post....Read a few copywriting books....Fallen down endless YouTube rabbit holes....Maybe taken other copywriting courses - eek!!There's still one issue.You're writing isn't working. It's not generating the clicks, shares, downloads and SALES you know you deserve.If that sounds about right, then keep reading...Do you want expert tips to give you a competitive advantage?Do you want access to repeatable formulas and processes? Would you like scientifically-proven techniques to boost your confidence?How about fun, interactive copy missions... to help you lock down the info?And brilliantly handy templates you can overwrite... time and time again?If you want to learn how to write really great copy -- quickly and efficiently -- sign up to The Complete Copywriting Course, today. With 7000+ students, a consistent rating of 4.6 out of 5 and over 1000 glowing 5-star reviews... you'll be good hands.★★★★★ "As an absolute beginner, I found it to be incredibly useful in understanding the fundamentals of an essential part of online business. Thank you for offering such a comprehensive course." Ross Cessna★★★★★ "Short, straight to the point and an excellent course for anyone who is new to copywriting. Tons of useful tips and tools that I know will make a huge difference in my writing from now on. I'm over the moon excited about putting everything I've learned into practice:-)" Marita Marcolongo★★★★★ "This course the best I have taken so far. You get valuable information that makes your copy way better. Thanks for sharing your knowledge!" Mouhamadou Diouf★★★★★ "Absolutely brilliant! Easy to follow, incredibly educational and packed with resources. Thanks Tam - what a wonderful human you are." Nerissa George★★★★★ "This course is a perfect match for me. I like the way the content is presented. Very useful and straight to the point." Sonja Aleksic★★★★★ "Great course! Time and money well spent. Practical and inspiring. I'm really excited to start my career in copywriting." John Selvey★★★★★ "This course actually makes me excited to start marketing using copy and to be more persuasive." Kasey D★★★★★ "I always thought copywriting was complicated until I took this course. I really see myself doing this for a living. I can't wait to complete the next course on portfolio creation. Thanks for the examples and resources that really add credibility to what you teach." Keenya Tynes★★★★★ "I've been down the Youtube rabbit hole trying to learn anything I could about copywriting, and I've already learned more in this class in LESS time. Tamsin is engaging and breaks down copywriting into actionable, replicable steps. My brain is literally buzzing. I feel like I finally GET it. I also love how many opportunities there are to practice what I'm learning, so I know it's going to stick. The confidence this class has given me is priceless. P.S. This is the first training I've taken on copywriting that hasn't bored me to tears. You can tell so much thought, heart, and soul went into making this training. THANK YOU! :)" LindseyNo other course on Udemy gives you all the fundamental tactics you need -- in just three hours. No faff, no nonsense. Just binge-worthy video tutorials, packed with fun, easy-to-remember missions, tools and techniques.Let me emphasise that again....EASY-T0-REMEMBER... That's the key to your success, right?If you’ve taken other copywriting courses and found them to be too long, too drawn out, too theoretical... and you're STILL not seeing results? It's probably because it's impossible to absorb all the information. Which is such a shame. Because learning how to write persuasive copy has the potential to change everything for you. Check out some reviews from my lovely students below. See for yourself how people are already seeing wonderful results after taking The Complete Copywring Course.★★★★★ "I'm only about 35% through the course and have already had so many "WOW" moments! I actually said "Wow" out loud each time Tamsin made an especially eye-opening point. I am amazed at her gift for words and how she can spin such tempting copy! I never knew how powerful and valuable the skill of copywriting could be, and now I'm really excited to know even more about it and to get better at it.Update: I've completed the course and have learned so much from Tamsin. She's been so generous in sharing her tips and expertise. Her warm and engaging manner makes me want to continue watching her videos. Though I'm not so confident in my abilities, I'm excited to put what I've learnt into building a part-time gig in copywriting." Brenda Chung.★★★★★ "Just the fundamentals section covered more than most copy writing books I've read. I'm moving on to the advanced techniques, and I can't wait. Gonna be learning till late tonight. Better than Netflix." A. Jackson★★★★★ "Best copywriting course on Udemy! Practical and easy-to-follow." Carys. S.★★★★★ "Amazing course! I learned so much. The lessons were light and beautifully explained,the visuals also helped a lot. The information is relevant and applicable, I started taking action immediately. I loved Tamsin's personality and her voice was easy to listen to. I liked that certain things were repeated in various sections, it solidified the information in my head. I will certainly be going over the lessons. This course gave FAR more value than it costs. I would highly recommend it and will be on hunt for any other content this instructor has out there. Thank you Tamsin!" Christina F-ThomasWELCOME and great to see you here!My name’s Tam and I’m the copywriter behind some of Udemy’s best-selling courses. My marketing career spans 18 years. For six of those, I've been running a successful copywriting business. The flexibility and freedom to work from anywhere, at any time, is what gets me bouncing out of bed every morning. On top of that, doing something creative that feeds my inner science geek AND pays the bills? Couldn't ask for anything better. I believe copywriting is THE most useful (yet underated) skill ANYONE can have. And I genuinely can’t wait to share what I've learned with you.It doesn't matter what you do, or what your goal is... it's your words that win hearts, minds and pockets. You could be an app developer, a solopreneur, a digital marketer, a VA, a freelance fashion designer, a florist, an IT engineer, a business coach, a high-flying CEO, an artisan baker, an inventor, a tech startup founder, a branding agency, an Instagram wannabe, a fitness instructor, or a kickarse web designer. If you want to achieve your goals, it all comes down to your WORDS. The words on your website, in your emails, newsletters, pitches, proposals and brochures. Yup, your COPY.And when you can write to persuade? Endless possibilities in your life and business open up to you.So whether you’re a complete beginner or looking to refresh your skills, this course is for you. And I'm going to walk you through the exact steps I take to remember complex topics -- and how I implement them to run a profitable copywriting business. And how YOU can too. :)★★★★★ "This course was so informative and has empowered me to get started with my freelance copywriting business right away. The content flowed well and I feel prepared to go it on my own!" J. Smith★★★★★ "SO HELPFUL!!!" Ryan★★★★★ "It’s so obvious now why our copy wasn’t working before. We were making every classic mistake. The tips and tricks I’ve learned on this course have completely changed the way I’m writing. The how to guide make it easy to follow. Now all I need is practice! Add to this the lectures are engaging and get to the point quickly. Thanks Tamsin." Suean Pascoe>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IMPORTANT NOTE: I DO NOT use fake reviews. EVER. All my reviews are 100% genuine. Sadly and unfortunately, there are less ethical instructors using underhand strategies to boost their ratings (and diminish the ratings of honest instructors, like me.) Udemy is working hard to combat this, but some continue slip through.So when you choose a course, please, PLEASE, watch some of the videos, and decide for yourself based on quality. And be EXTREMELY wary of courses promising to make you rich without doing any work, or through automation! You cannot automate copywriting! Thank you! Read the full article

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

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5,000 question survey series--part thirty-seven

3501. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy? Virgin here, but yeah it would be.

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)?/ So, I’m dumb and thought you meant “epic” as in “awesome”, but something was telling me that you meant it in a different way, so I had to Google it. Apparently, if anyone else doesn’t know, it’s a style of movie that usually focuses on an heroic character. Google it if you want to know more, but yeah. Anyway, I saw a list of top Epic films and saw Forrest Gump was on there, so I’ll choose that. 3503. Finish the sentance. Hey, Hey we're the: People say we: But we're too busy: The time to hesitate is: You're too: It's a nice day to: start again. 3504. Have you ever had 'missing time'? It does seem like you lose time and it just slips away. I certainly feel that way. 3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting? Waaaaay back in the AOL days I sometimes send those electronic greeting cards.

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to? doesn't know when to leave: poor crotch hygenie: talks to much: band/art/dream is going nowehere: most likely to get arrestted: needs to get their life together: bad taste in clothes: bad taste in music: needs a hobby: 3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies? Disney movies. I don’t watch porn. 3508. What is it with people? Good question. 3509. Do you eat too much sugar? No. My thing is carbs. 3510 Imagine you have aband. Let's name your band. Adjective: Plain. Animal(plural): Dogs. Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass!: Plain Dogs Under Glass. Could be better? Uh, yeah. Let's try again. Adjective: Fabulous. Noun (plural): Clothes. Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets: Fabulous Clothes With Puppets. 3511. Are you desperate but not serious? What.

3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? Oh, definitely. As a kid I was easily pleased and entertained and actually enjoyed doing things. Getting McDonald’s or something was exciting. What did it take then? Not much. What does it take now? A lot. :/ Even when it’s something I do like and enjoy, I just don’t have that spark anymore. Getting food isn’t even exciting anymore. 3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school? Yeah.

We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why? They don’t throw it out the window. We learned cursive in addition to print.

If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren't books printed in cursive? It’s just a nicer looking print used more for things like our signature. Why aren't cursive computer fonts more popular? I don’t know, man. Not something I’ve thought about. Why do buisness forms always say 'please print'? Because it’s more legible than cursive typically. That’s just how it is okay I don’t knowww. Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who's with me? I don’t know what it’s like in schools now, but for me I remember learning it, but I don’t remember it being such a big deal. 3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What? I’m sure there’s a lot of things, but I don’t feel like coming up with any. 3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing: 0? 5? 12? 16? 20? 3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men's and woman's? I've seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes...what have you seen? I’ve heard of places that do that, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to one. 3517. What is the 'message' or 'point behind': Fight Club? Donnie Darko? AI? Minority Report? Solaris? A Walk to Remember? You've Got Mail? 3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies: Drumline? The Hot Chick? I think it’s funny. Maid in Manhattan? It’s cute. Star Trek: Nemesis? About Schmidt? Evelyn? The Guys? Intacto? The Jimmy Show? The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? Gangs of New York? Two Weeks Notice? The Wild Thornberrys Movie? I wasn’t into that cartoon much as a kid. Smokers Only? Treasure Planet? The Santa Clause 2? It’s cute, but The Santa Clause will always be the best. 3519. START this sentance: ....and I think to myself, what a wonderful world." Something about seeing trees of green and red roses bloom.

3520. What is: insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. normal? Common, typical among a large group of people. Things can be considered normal for individuals, too. farenheit? Unit to measure temperature.

3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit: This girl really needs to get her shit together cause she’s a mess. 3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law? It can be difficult to prove if they did or not, but that’s why in certain circumstances people are just given a warning.

3523. If it's so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them? *shrug* 3524. Name a band you sort of like: You are wearing that band's t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don't know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!" This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn't like them you wouldn't be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is: 3525. If you were organizing cd's in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don't forget the 'bargain bin' section!): Blink182 Depech Mode Weezer Led Zeppelin The Doors Avril Lavigne Nelly Manfred Mann Iggy Pop Pink Floyd Guns N Roses Shakira Britny Spears Tool Ozzy Osbourne Madonna The Rolling Stones The Beatles Motley Crue Bon Jovi 3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more? It takes off some of the edge, and I really just love coffee, so I guess I’d say my mind cause it doesn’t do much at all for the tiredness anymore.

3527. Can you do 'six degrees of seperation' to anyone famous? Nope.

3528. What's the oddest thing in your home? *shrug*

3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall: in the bathroom? Some parents use it if they have a small child with them. in the parking lot? There’s a stall in the parking lot? ha. It’s pretty messed up when people who genuinely don’t need it use it and take the place from someone who genuinely does. People need to keep in mind; though, that handicapped doesn’t just mean “wheelchair user.” People assume if they’re not in a wheelchair then they don’t need that parking spot and that’s not always the case. 3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? I call it thinking out loud. My mind is a jumbled mess and it helps me sort out things sometimes.

Do you answer yourself back? I don’t have conversations with myself, I just think things out loud.

3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I' or 'you' or both? I refer to myself as “I.”

3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven't done your homework? I don’t have any cause I’m not in school anymore.

3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers'. What do you think? Wow, wtf. I’d think “racist” first of all. 3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture? Both.

3535. What determines whether a person will be: A lot of different factors contribute to these things. intelligent? pretty? happy? sucessful? 3536. What is social loafing? When people put in less effort when they’re in a group. What is groupthink? Conforming to the rest of the group.

3537. I have an idea. let's change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think? Not sure how you’d go about that. Sounds like a lot of work.

3538. What are the physical symptoms of: joy? Smiling, that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, rapid heart rate. fear? Rapid heart rate, sweating, stomach in knots feeling, trouble breathing. shame? Anger, rage, anxiety, crying. 3539. Here's the scenerio...your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say? I’d quickly switch the channel and ask what he was doing.

He says, "Why can't I watch this?" What is your response? It’s not appropriate for kids. Watch cartoons. Why do you respond that way? Because I don’t think a child should watch that stuff. I wouldn’t freak out on him, but I’d explain it’s just not appropriate. Then if he had questions he could go to my parents, ha.

3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? Really depends on the person. How can you tell? 3541. are you usually carefree? Ha. Haha. Hahahaha. Good one. 3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people? Yes. 3543. Do you often long for excitement? I mean, a break in the mundane routine is nice. 3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others? Depends. 3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment/ Nope. 3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move? No. I know people like that and it can be annoying.

3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare? Nope. I’m a lame-o. 3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another? Playful joking and goofing around is fun. Unless that’s all they do and they’re just annoying and obnoxious about it to where it’s not fun anymore. 3549. Do you enjoy wild parties? Nope.

3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change? Noo.

3551. Is rascism still a big part of our culture? Yes. You’re in denial if you think it doesn’t still exist. 3552. A drawing was shown to a person. The drawing showed a black man in a buisness suit standing next to a white man holding a razor. The person who saw this drawing was white and was asked to describe it to a second white person who had not seen it, who described it to a third, and so on. By the end of six rounds the final report often placed the razor in the hand of the black man and it is claimed he is waving it threateningly. What do you think of thiss? There’s a whole test and study on this type of thing. I remember discussing it in one of my psych courses. 3553. How many famous people cxan you name who committed sucicide?> Too many. :( 3554. Do you have OCD? No. 3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed? Very anxious. Insecure or secure? Very insecure. Socialble or with drawn? Very withdrawn. Original or conventional? Hmm. 3556. Are you more emotional or calm? Emotional. self pitying or content? Self-pitying. Fun loving or sober? You can be fun loving and sober... Imaginative or down to earth? Both. 3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof? I’m polite and friendly, but I’m not like outgoing and sociable. adventurous or cautious? Cautious. Broad or narrow when it comes to interests? Broad. recptive or closed to new ideas? I’m open to hearing new ideas and opinions. I don’t have to agree, but it doesn’t mean I’m not open to hearing them. 3558. Are you more good natured or irratble? I’m an irritable person. soft hearted or ruthless? Soft hearted. well organized or disorganized? Disorganized with life. Dependable or undependable? I used to think I was dependable, but I wouldn’t say that now. 3559. Are you more courteous or rude/ I’m courteous. sympathetic or tough minded/ I can be both. hardworking or lazy? I have no motivation or drive anymore. ambitious or easy going? Generally pretty easy going. I try to be. Anxiety Inscurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality. Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extraverted personality. orignality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality. Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality. Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality. 3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common? Depends on the people. A woman or man could have a lot in common, but that same woman or man could have little to nothing in common with another woman or man. It all just depends. 3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you've ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself? Yes. I had a version of Mr. Feeney. Do you tend to try harder if they DO care? It makes a huge difference when the teacher genuinely wants to teach and help you. 3562. Have you ever been stereotyped? Yeah. As what? For my disability. 3563. Have you ever been dsicriminated against? No. For what? 3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather? Done with school, no job. 3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate? I don’t care to know. 3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Watch Pet Semetery or something of the sort and see what you think. ha.

Why or why not? You can’t clone the outside, but they’re not going to be the same person. That’s just not something you can clone. A lot of factors go into making a person who they are. 3567. Finish the sentance: As the world turns..I only have one concern...that: I don’t know. 3568. What group in history has been the most oppressed? All groups have. 3569. Have you read any biographies? Yeah. Whose? I’ve read several for school. 3570. What are you obsessed with? I’m not obsessed with a person, but I do love me some Alexander Skarsgard. ;) 3571. Break out your decoder ring..(no hints this time)! t3ii9 8 i9f3 697 29h5 697 53ii j3 6974 hqj3? 3572. Do you crack your: knuckes? Yes. neck? Yes. back? No.

other? Yeah, my arms and wrists. 3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour Fly and restart time. 3574. Do you chew your penciles and pens? No. 3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins? Yeah? 3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone eround you naked? No. 3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for Depends entirely on the person. You really have a tendency to group people and generalize.

guys: girls: 3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman? That depends on your preference. 3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them? I’m always sitting. 3580. Has anyone ever: screamed your name during sex? moaned your name during sex? 3581. Hershey's kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other? Mint, plain, and the candy cane ones. 3582. What's the best slurpee flavor? I used to always get Coke and cherry together. I haven’t had a Slurpee in years, though. 3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen? The Marvel and DC movies, honestly. 3584. Of these words, which ones are funny: beets? cumquat? pit? Piss-capades? fuzzy? What are some other funny words? 3585. Do you give good massages? I’ve never given one. 3586. What songs have been 'stuck' in your head? Nothing at the moment. 3587. What don't most people know about your job? I don’t have a job. 3588. Is there anything you won't say unless someone else says it first? Initiate most conversations apart from my family. 3589. Do you need a little chrsitmas? I still have my decorations up in my room... ha. 3590. Fake or real tree? Real. 3591. Is your refridgerator running? Yeah. You know what to do. Nah, I don’t feel like running after it. 3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose? What. 3593. Who can it be now? I wonder who they’re talking about in that song. 3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone? *shrug* And why does our nation turn it's eys to him? 3595. How often do you get headaches? Maybe a handful a month. It varies. 3596. Have you ever woen fake eyelashes? Yeah. 3597. What could you spend 24 hours ina row doing? I don’t know. 3598. Is it Friday yet? It’s Sunday. 3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/ 3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects? When they’re not functioning properly. Do you try to get them to answer you? ...No. Have they ever answered you? Uh, no. I’d be extremely freaked out if it did.

#I end up skipping so many questions cause they're just so wtf #and I'm lazy #personal #text #survey #surveys #5000 question survey

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lonewolfshayu · 2 years

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Vengeful by VE Schwab book review. I first reviewed Vengeful on my currently deleted Tumblr account, Spaniard Seer. And I can't remember if I posted a review of Vengeful on this account, so I'm making sure to do it now.

First of all, I have to say I hated Vengeful. But I loved Vicious, the first book, so much.

Second of all, VE Schwab still has my respect. I just don't like this sequel at all.

Third of all, please understand that this is my opinion of Vengeful. I'm not trying to hate on this book just to hate on it.

Okay.

2 out of 5 stars is what I rated Vengeful.

It's not 1 out of 5 stars, because this novel still kept me a bit entertained. I just didn't like it, ultimately.

1 This book read like a really bad fanfic written by someone who isn't even VE Schwab. That's how I can describe Vengeful in one sentence.

2 Marcella bored me to tears. Not literal tears, but reading her POVs was horrible stressful. After I read this novel, I never wanted to hear another mention of high heels or fingernails ever again. The repetition of high heels and fingernails in Marcella's chapters was EXTREME. It was awful.

3 Marcella's sex scene mentions with her husband was so cringe. I can't even describe how bad it was. You really got to read it for yourself.

4 Slut shaming from Marcella. Sigh.

5 It might not be obvious, but Marcella was a huge reason why I hated this book. Seriously, there was nothing interesting about her. She wasn't even a villain I could despise. She was annoying more than anything. Meanwhile, my hatred for Eli is OBVIOUS in my posts about this series. You can't even love to hate Marcella. She wasn't a good villain at all. Just a waste of a character.

6 Hallelujah. It's sweet how I have so many more reasons why I despise this novel. I HATED VICTOR IN THIS BOOK. Victor was likable in the first book, but he was so sociopathic that even that was hard to do. Still, the dude was practically a hero. In the first book, that is. In VENGEFUL, he starts murdering innocent EOs. Just like Eli. He became too dark. Slipped too much into black morality. I couldn't root for him anymore. Without a doubt, this is the main reason why I hated this novel. The biggest reason. Everyone becomes pure villains in this. And if they're not a pure villain, then they helped the pure villains(Mitch and Sydney helping Victor, like some minions or something)

7 Before I forget, I need to say that June's fondness of Sydney was random and creepy in a child predator type of way. If June was a man, imagine how creepy this would be. The woman even meets Sydney at a park, for God's sake. We don't know a damn thing about June's past. And we can't care about her motivations because of that. We don't even know her motivations. June was even more of a waste of a character than Marcella. Schwab really should have given her more depth and history. Because I really couldn't care about June. She was a total waste. There's such thing as too much mystery.

8 Eli Ever. I genuinely wish Eli did a face heel turn in this book. You know, become good. Go from "evil" to "good". Because Eli was genuinely my last hope. I couldn't care about Victor anymore. Or Sydney. Or Mitch. Didn't even like June or Marcella in any way. Didn't find them interesting. Eli Ever becoming a character to root for would have been great. But no, Eli is still evil Eli from the first book. And yet, I really loved his POVs. You know you effed up when I actually WANT to hear from Eli Ever. For comparison, I hated him so much in the first book. In this one, it was easier to root for him. Now that he wasn't killing innocent people. I still hated him, but hated him less. If he became a good guy, regretted his past murder of the innocent EOs, and fought against all the villains (villains like Victor) MAYBE I would have given this book three stars. Maybe.

9 I couldn't care about anyone in this book, simply put. That made for boring reading.

10 I genuinely forgot there was one character I did care about. Dom. Dominick freaking Rusher. The ex-soldier from book one who can stop time and teleport this way. Dude was golden. And Victor being mean to him and calling him a fool after Dom SAVED his life was just terrible. And out of character. Victor is prone to being stoic and aloof, but he wouldn't straight up insult someone like that. See? Even that shows how much of a villain he became. Victor in this book and Victor from book one might as well be two different characters. They didn't even feel like the same guy. Plus, Victor can suddenly control people's bodies via their nerves? Seriously? Cringe. Just cringe. Cringe and a stupid power upgrade.

11 BTW June randomly bumping into Victor at the strip club was an awful meeting. Seemed so cliché and convenient.

12 I hated Vengeful. Absolutely despised it. I still do. I highly recommend not reading it. There are no characters to root for. No "good" aligned characters to care about. No "villains" to love to hate. And everyone else in-between aren't interesting at all. Things in this book was so contrived and convenient for the sake of plot. And that's not to mention there are loads of cringe and out of character moments.

2 out of 5 stars.

#Vengeful #ve schwab #Books #reading #Literature

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an-avid-reader · 4 years

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Onyx (Lux #2) - Jennifer L. Armentrout

my rating: 4/5 stars

**since this is the second book in a series, the synopsis below is for book 1:

After losing her father, Katy and her mom move across the country to West Virginia. With her luck, Katy's new neighbour is pleasing to the eyes...maybe even abnormally so. But that's not all, this town has it's secrets--maybe that's just how small towns are. Little does Katy know that her new neighbours Daemon and Dee are more than they appear to be. As Katy is swept into Daemon and Dee’s lives, she quickly learns that they are aliens; as she spends more time with them, Katy has an aura which makes her a target to other aliens. Paradoxically, Katy must be protected by the twins while also losing the aura before she gets killed.

Note: this review is written after rereading the book

Link to Goodreads // book 1 // Spoilers in review!

First off, I feel like I need to start off by saying if you’ve got a lot of time on your hands/you want to binge-read a whole (semi-light hearted???) series in one go, this is the one for you. The second book in this series starts off a few months from the first book, so if you have an incredibly bad memory, a book marathon is the way to go y’all.

And, like in book 1, we start off with some heavy romance, which, in retrospect, I’d be shook if ANY human in secondary school was able to have such deep emotions towards another person--being a teenager is just a weird part of life and I honestly have no idea how people can honestly get into relationships. ANYWAYS, the classic love triangle commences is introduced, with good ol’ Blake….ahhh what an idiot this boy is. Since this was a reread for me, I only remembered fragments of the series, but I 100% recalled that Blake was just so NOOOO and a goddamn snake.

I actually want to start off with Blake and how much of a traitor he is--like damn, there are so many layers to the story and the fact that it’s all kind of Blake’s fault….big yikes. But then again, I feel like he never got a proper childhood, if that makes sense?? He did suspect that the accident that led him to be mutated by Chris was probably staged, which sucks, but also does not make up for how much pain he’s caused to Katy and anyone that was in the same situation as her. Listen, the fact that he didn’t realize how he was hurting Katy just goes to show how much of a shitty person he is--it’s almost like he can’t think for himself, which is also just so fusterating. LOOK BLAKE, NOT EVERYONE LOVES THE THRILL OF A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE MULTIPLE TIMES. Alas, he was a necessary evil, I guess.

There were times throughout the book where I couldn’t believe that Katy could continue to fall for Blake’s tricks, but then again she fully trusted him--big yikes. I feel like in this case, it was emotion (or better yet her feels) that got in the way of her judgement. Side note: I don’t think anyone who’s read these books could possibly think that Blake and Katy are a better couple than Daemon and Katy. Daemon can be an ass but at least he isn’t trying to hurt people emotionally and physically (and that’s the tea, folks). But anyways, I will say that Blake is super shady, but honestly, I completely forgot that he’s related to Vaughn….oops?? I’m a little surprised that Katy didn’t look up Blake earlier as she saw him as a “potential future prospect”, but then again, she might not have connected the dots--or at least pull the WHY DOES THAT NAME SOUND FAMILIAR and then before you know it, all hell is breaking loose.

But let’s backup...to Katy’s 18th birthday (again, yiiikes….). I have no idea how Katy’s powers were not spotted by human witnesses--especially Lesa and Carissa. How were they kept in the dark (and technically they still are) when Katy was almost always with them?? We’ll never know….well actually, Katy’s just really good at keeping secrets I guess…It was so frustrating how Daemon and Katy were keeping everything away from Dee, but they had her best interests in mind. But man, that led to Katy being a crappy friend to Dee, Lesa, and Carissa…it’s almost like Blake’s personality grew onto Katy (g r o s s). Not to mention with Dee sharing some tmi stuff with Katy--but to be honest, after reading Shadows I can understand why Dee is so thrilled to talk about that with Katy--she never had those types of girl talks with anyone (and I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk about it with Ash lmao).

Those little details -- along with Katy’s blog, the fact that Katy just wants to have fries (relatable lol), it just makes the book so much more “believable” (I guess) as it puts in some normal-type things among all the paranormal activity. I really appreciate those details as they also make the story a little more relatable, if that makes sense??? As a bookworm, I can connect with Katy, but I can also connect with her in the sense where she felt useless during the action-packed scenes. You can definitely feel the frustration and anger when Katy is unable to defend herself under Will’s captivity--I feel like that’s where Blake’s betrayal stung a little (besides him killing Adam)--she trained so much with him, and in the end it’s like she didn’t really learn anything.

For the side characters I wanted to mention: Will, Katy’s mom, and Matthew. Okay, so first, Will, I already had a suspicious feeling about him in Shadows but, again, this particular book is a reread for me, so while I didn’t remember the exact details, he was always super fishy. When I was reading Shadows I remember thinking something along the lines of “Bethany’s uncle is super weird and suspicious”, but for some reason “implant” was not what I was thinking...I thought that Katy was going to tell her mom about her “boyfriend”, but I guess that will have to wait until book 3 (or 4?? I don’t remember oops). It’s so disgusting when he was like “yeah being with your mom had some benefits” WILL YOU’RE A FILTHY MAN. Ugh and then when Katy’s gonna tell her mom, her mom is gonna be like listen honey I know you don’t like him/he’s not your dad...but it’s in reality, Kellie, your “boyfriend” is just using you!! Ahh her poor mom :( Speaking of which, I genuinely thought that Katy’s mom was completely oblivious to the fact that there was always some guy at her house/hanging out with Katy. Alas, Kellie noticed, but damn she thinks Katy is a slut or something (I’m not slut-shaming--you do you boo - I just think it’s messed up that her mom would think that of her daughter). Again, the awkward sex-talk with her mom was sort of like a light reminder that while Katy is mutated, she’s still a human at her core. Finally we have Matthew--which I’m going to be honest, he is the MOST UNDERRATED CHARACTER!! I feel like most people are obsessed with Daemon (which is fair enough) but Matthew is honestly the GOAT. While he doesn’t really have a relationship with Katy like he does with the Luxen kids, he still cares about her. He’s like the old wise man but I guess he isn’t that old (he’s not an Elder, but he’s Luxen….hmmmm….). He genuinely gives Katy some solid advice, even though she technically ignores it. But at the end, when they’re cleaning up Adam’s blood….oh man :( Katy definitely needed to hear those words.

I felt like that particular point - the climax, while it was anticipated that Blake was a bad guy, there are soooo many emotions. We first start off by Katy basically telling Dee to get lost (which may I remind you that Katy was being a crappy friend, so this was just so heartbreaking...gosh darn it, Blake, why do you have to be so manipulative!!). Then we get into this sequence of action--and then the moment that Adam took the “bullet” for Katy...well that would definitely be shot in slow motion...yes it’s cheesy, but damn. Adam--aka the quiet boy who finally became Dee’s boyfriend; Dee, who is Katy’s best friend, yes that Adam...he died for his girlfriend’s best friend. It’s such a powerful thing to do on his behalf, even though it’s messed up in so many ways--and then there are all the layers of Blake’s betrayal...I have no idea of Armentrout planned out the novel, but from that part and onwards, I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster.

So for me, the layers, the details, and the last 100 pages or so are the main reasons why I find that the sequel is better than the first novel in this series. I felt like Armentrout’s writing improved: the romance scenes were way less cheesy than in Obsidian and I felt like there was like fluff -- again, this goes back to the layers that basically make Blake’s betrayal even worse than it would’ve been if it were just between Blake and Katy. The pacing of the book seemed to work with the flow of the story; this allowed the plot to be developed and I felt like the events were adding up pretty naturally.

The ending is so bittersweet--we find out that Dawson is alive, but it was to the cost of Adam’s life...all the main characters, but Dee especially, don’t even have time to process one event before the next one occurs. And of course Dawson’s return is where the story ends; the classic cliffhanger (I did mention earlier that this is the type of series to binge read!).

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this book--is there a particular scene that made your blood boil or did you try to understand the characters’ motives? Overall, did you enjoy the book or was it just okay?? I’d love to know! =D

Thank you for reading my review, I hope you have an opulent day, wherever you are in the world!

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

#just one more ~ queue #book review #review #books #lux #jennifer l armentrout #series #paranormal #paranormal romance #lux beginnings #onyx #sequel

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kbrown78 · 5 years

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Monthly Wrap Up: April

So April has been my lowest month of the year. While some things improved, my reading slump didn't really didn't and it shows. This month I only completed 7 books (but I'll be reviewing 8 in this wrap up), which is by far the lowest amount of the year. The month did not start out well, with a DNF, then a 1 star that I really wanted to DNF. The next 2 books were better, not great but still decent with 3 stars, and the last few books managed to pull off 4 stars. I was able to continue with the PopSugar Reading Challenge, and completed both books I read for the Pick-It-For-Me Challenge, but I didn't manage to do Tome Topple this month, which was disappointing. I think my continued slump, and the reason the ratings were so low this month is because I spent more time away from my preferred reading genre (Adult Fantasy) than I would have liked. The first 3 books of the month were a mix of literary fiction genres, but were all distinctly lacking in any mystical elements. While I thought one of these books was decent, I hated the other 2 and found them incredibly disappointing. The rest of the month transitioned into more fantasy reads (and 1 dystopian) and from there things slowly improved. Next month I'm definitely going to shift things to focus more on the books that I want to read, regardless of the genre.

Eldest by Christopher Paolini: Technically I finished this one at the end of March, but I forgot about it and didn't want to go through the stress of adding it to my already posted March wrap up, so I just decided to add it in this one. Eldest is probably my least favorite book in the Inheritance Cycle series, and while that remains to be seen, it definitely was a step down from Eragon. In fact I ended up skimming quite a bit of it to ensure I finished it on time (since I was renting it from the library) and didn't take notes, so this review isn't going to be as thorough as it could be. What was probably the biggest cause of the book's slump was one of the 2 new POVs that was introduced, Eragon's cousin Roran. In Eragon Roran leaves to train as a blacksmith so he can marry is sweet heart and has a close relationship with Eragon. While he's just got the bare bones, and was only in the first quarter of the book, he's still an established character. So why did I dislike his POV? I was so bored with it. It was basically Eragon's story but with a lot less excitement. A young, noble boy fights to save his village and is admired and respected by everyone except the villains. It was just one of those wonder boy, chosen one narratives (which I'm already pretty tired off) and unlike Eragon, who is novice but very powerful and deserves respect, it makes no sense why everyone seems to make Roran the de facto leader. I knew his POV was coming but I didn't realize how much his POV character dominates the narrative. I used to like his POV as kid just because it had a long journey/ escape aspect to it and I used to love those as kid (at this point I think they work better on TV) but this time around it helped emphasis one of the flaws in the series, and that is the fact that long journey's are over quickly. I mean the people of their hometown left at around the half way point and reached their destination before the book was over despite the issues they encounter. Roran's POV contained the most glaringly obvious flaws, but I can't say that it was irrelevant because it was it's own independent narrative, and in the later books it's nice to see Eragon and Roran together as family. Speaking of Eragon, I thought his chapters were okay. Didn't love them, didn't hate them. Ultimately I thought they were pretty forgettable because of how generic they are. He definitely is still this wide eyed wonder boy at the beginning of the book, and then he goes off to do training and ends the story a different person. I still don't like that he's one of those characters that the universe just seems to hand everything too, and most of his time with the elves I found to be simultaneously boring and rushed, but they did show his evolution as a character (sort of). By the end of this book I think he's more aware of who he is, the role he has to play and the power that wields. At the end he has a startling revelation about his lineage and his relationship with another characters. It was a twist that I think both made sense but was genuinely surprising (although not the second time reading it). I have yet to see if this is something that Eragon will brood over, which I really hope he doesn't because I think that will drag his character further down into that of a generic fantasy hero. The one thing I do remember of his chapters because it surprised me was his romance with Arya. When I first read the series as a kid, I totally shipped them. Now I don't ship them, at all. Arya and others repeatedly make it clear to Eragon that their romance would never work, including the fact that she is grieving the loss of her previous lover. In this book I thought there was so little chemistry between that I honestly don't understand Eragon's romantic feelings toward Arya. This might change in the later books, but this was something I just wanted to briefly mention. The other new POV was actually my favorite part of the story, but it was only 2 f**king chapters, out of 60 . The third POV follows Nausuda, the new leader of the rebel group the Varden after her father's death at the beginning of this book. She was briefly introduced near the end of Eragon, and while I liked her I was worried she was just going to become a Eowyn type character. That, fortunately, did not happen. She demonstrates herself as a capable leader, and a threat to her enemies. Despite her young age, she is well aware of the political machinations and is able to maneuver things well. She can come off as harsh at times, but it's because she grasps the severity of their situation and doesn't have time for any nonsense. Most of the people she is closest with or relies on the most are women, which I love because it means she respects and values a persons abilities, regardless of gender. My favorite scene in the entire book is where she asks the head warlock (who is woman and whose name I am forgetting) to make lace because it's easier and quicker to make by magic than hand, and can be sold for a profit that will help support the war effort. This shows Nasuada's ability to take a situation, however minor it is, and make it work to her advantage in a way that makes sense and can be applied to real world tactics. If the entire series had been filled with moments like this, than it would have worked much better for an adult audience. As a whole there were bits and pieces that I thought were good and helped propel the story forward, but there were a ton of generic fantasy elements and filler narratives which really dragged the story down. Eldest received 2 out 5 stars.

The White Princess by Philipa Gregory: I've been wanting to dip my toes into more historical fiction, especially ones that aren't set during WW II because there are so many of those (not that I'm unopposed to them) and Philipa Gregory's novel's seemed like a good place to start. I was initially going to read the White Queen but I happened to find this one at a book sale, and thought it would work out fine. What I really want in a historical fiction is you take familiar historical figures or events and make them come to life, you make them personal, and it's probably difficult to find an author that does just that. This book is set during the Late Middle Ages (a period of history that has always fascinated me) at the conclusion of the War of Roses with the marriage of Elizabeth of York and Henry VII, which I believe was the inspiration for Game of Thrones, and featured an introduction discussing women of that time period and how even though they are constantly being put in the corners of history, they certainly weren't doing nothing and could even be quite powerful in their own right. Basically this book had a very promising premise and during the first few chapters it seemed like it was going in a good direction. Unfortunately that quickly came to a halt. Elizabeth was an insufferable protagonist. She had zero agency whatsoever, kept being pushed from one bad situation to another had did little or nothing to change that, was blissfully ignorant about everything around her, and served as nothing more than a mouth piece for the narrative and a baby making machine for the king. To put it simply, she was early Sansa Stark who wasn't even being subjected to a psychopathic despot (at least that wasn't how the narrative was portraying Henry, though he did have other issues which I will get to in a minute). She was the exact opposite of the protagonist that I expected for this book, and it was very disappointing. In fact there are only 2 women that seemed to hold any sort of power, Elizabeth's mother Elizabeth Woodville and Henry's mother Margret Beaufort. Elizabeth Woodville has both power and experience at playing the game, but we don't get to see much of that because she's sent away about a third of the way into the story and Elizabeth of York remains ignorant of all her mother's doings. Margret Beaufort, on the other hand, wields a considerable amount of power because she is the only one the king trusts, but she's clearly being portrayed in a villainous light. She does everything possible to undermine Elizabeth and her family, exercises absolute authority without anything keeping her in check and does this to accomplish some awfully petty and mean tasks, and on top of that is a zealot. There is fine line between being devoted to one's faith and being a zealot, and since Margret again uses her power to get in with the Catholic Church, uses her faith as the justification for most of the things she does to Elizabeth, and brings about how the outcome was “God's will” in every other conversation she has, I think she's leaning more on the zealot side of things, and one of the fastest ways to make me hate a character is to make them an obnoxious zealot. I think Margret could at least have been put in a sympathetic light because she does know how costly the game is and wants her son to be safe in a dangerous and constantly shifting environment, but we never get this. So the female character that clearly has the most influence and power is the one that the readers are designed to like the least. This seems to go directly against everything that the introduction set out, and it's not just disappointing, it's a bit infuriating. The other major black stain on this book was the romance, and just like the female empowering narrative, was something that had potential in the beginning and was shattered upon Elizabeth and Henry's first meeting. I don't mind arranged marriages, in fact they are something I like to see if done well, and this was not done well. First there's Henry ignoring Elizabeth, like keeping her family sequestered in one area until after he's coronated. While not a promising start it was a reasonable political move and is something the relationship could still recover from. Then they final meet, I believe around Christmas, and the very first thing Henry does to Elizabeth is have her dance for him so she can feel like a slut, then proceeds to rape her when they are alone together. Gregory has now created a relationship I absolutely cannot get behind. After that he insults and degrades Elizabeth, is very blase about the rape (like he's entitled to it and even says when they are married it's not rape), doesn't try to form an emotional relationship with her and is constantly accusing her of conspiring against him (despite her crippling ineptitude), and even makes it clear he would have raped her sister if she hadn't proven fertile. This doesn't just make the “romance” awful, but it also makes Henry a pretty awful character. Plus the fact that he has a rather unsettling relationship with his mother, who again, constantly works to undermine Elizabeth's family. The fact that the only happy and tender moments between the couple that I can remember occur after Elizabeth has given Henry the son that he wants, makes those moments just feel cheap and unsatisfying. Ultimately I didn't see the characters improving, I didn't the relationships improving, and if I wanted to know how the rest of the story goes I could just do basic history search (and probably get more details on the events of the time). I ended up DNFing this book and needless to say I gave it 1 out 5 stars and was my pick for the PopSugar prompt “based on a true story.”

The Guest Book by Sarah Blake: I received an ARC of this book from Macmillian Publishers back in February, completely out of the blue. I had never heard of this book or author before, and it's not the kind of book I would consider reaching for unless there was a ton of hype around it (like The 7 Husbands of Evelyen Hugo), but because it was my first ARC I felt compelled to read it. Almost immediately, I had issues with this book. The writing of the book was a strange hybrid between dry, precise writing and the flowery purple prose, and it just didn't work. The other big issue I had with the writing itself was that the time lines and character POVs were all over the place. During almost the entire first half of the book, so for around 200 pages, I could not grasp what decade it was unless explicitly stated. The POVs weren't much better. The story was written in third person, but this didn't actually help me with identifying who was who because the POV would jump around so much, even within a chapter, that it took me awhile to finally identify who was who. This may due to the fact that there wasn't anything distinguishing about any of the characters, they could have literally been the same person with different names. This did change, but that didn't reflect well on the characters. One of the first scenes were I felt any sense of identity came from Kitty, in the first generation time line, and it made me hate her pretty quickly. I was already inclined to dislike the Milton family because they were privileged snobs, but again I didn't really get any sense of character. There was nothing specific about them that I liked or disliked. That all changed in the scene with Kitty at the Island, where I think she rejects taking in a woman and her son specifically because the woman is Jewish, and the rest of the group present constantly shut down this woman's conversation because her valid points about Hitler's rise to power made them feel a little morally uncomfortable. This was the scene that really defined who the Miltons are, and the thing is they never really improve even in later generations. Evie, one of Kitty's grand daughters, is struggling to ensure that they keep the Island. She tries to project herself as this progressive woman yet works to hold onto the very symbol of her family's corrupt and racist history. It makes her come off as a hypocrite in the worst way. I also had issues with the minority characters (mostly how they felt like token characters that served the purpose of redeeming the racists) but honestly I wouldn't be able to do a good job of discussing them because of the last major issue I had with this book, and that's the overall story itself. So this is definitely a “slice of life” narrative and while I don't generally gravitate toward those, I have found ones that I enjoy. In order to do this well I think you still need good characters and a complex plot with a clear conflict, even if it's just a personal one. For this book nothing works. The characters are bad on multiple levels, and I don't want to see racists who are vehemently denying their racism and issues be redeemed, and there wasn't any real conflict except for the family trying to keep their Island house. What plot I could identify was boring but most of the time, I couldn't tell what was happening. This is the main reason why I couldn't really review this book in detail. Ultimately nothing worked in this book, not the characters, not the story, not the writing. This wasn't a book I expected to love but I at least thought it would be decent and go somewhere, and it still failed at that. The Guest Book received 1 out of 5 stars from me, and if you want more articulate reviews them I do recommend looking at the Goodreads reviews.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia: I guess I've lately been reading books that are outside of my typical SFF genre. As my reviews of the previous 2 books indicated I have not been having a good time exploring other genres. Fortunately this was an improvement, but I still didn't love it. The biggest struggle I had with the book was my inability to connect with the main character Eliza, and I blame that more on my personal issues than the book itself, and here's why. Eliza lives something of a double life online, where she is the creator of the popular web comic, while in reality she's a quiet nobody who struggles with daily interactions. Her 2 worlds start to collide when she meets new kid Wallace, who happens to be one of the most popular fanfiction writers for her comic series. The two slowly start to form a relationship and Eliza starts becoming more active in the real world, while starting to struggle with her online personality. Above all this entire story felt like a love letter to fandoms and online culture. Talking about online friendships, trolls, fandoms, creative pressure and escape. I really, really liked the story that was told, and Eliza is the kind of character that I think many young adults can relate to. I liked reading about Eliza's various relationships, from her online friends, to her family, and romance. Each one brought out a different aspect of her and each one had their own set of issues. So why didn't a get a higher rating. Well like I stated earlier I still I was never fully invested in Eliza, despite liking the book objectively for the narrative it tells. I think it's because outside of her being “average” in real life and a famous creator online, I never got much of a sense of who she is. It also took a little while for me to get into the book, and I don't feel that the rest of the book was good enough to fully recover from that slow start. The other thing has to do with Eliza and Wallace's romance. It started out really cute, but I don't like how things ended with them. They had their struggle's, which I thought was good because I wanted to watch them overcome their issues. Once they did encounter a problem though, things went downhill pretty quickly. Their dynamic got worse until it exploded and then quickly remedied itself and is never addressed again. I didn't like how often it's implied that things are fixed and getting better but we're not really shown any of it. I wish I could have liked this book more than I did because I think it's a good story that works well with a modern audience, but I just couldn't get fully attached to the characters and the conclusion left something to be desired. Eliza and Her Monsters received 3 out 5 stars and was my pick for the PopSugar prompt “book about a hobby.”

Kiss of Deception by Mary E. Pearson: Oh man. I picked this book up because I was in the mood to read a lighter fantasy, and I wanted to get around to reading the rest of the series. I had hoped that my opinions of the book would change from the last time I read it, but my reactions and opinions were all exactly the same. The best thing that probably came out of the reread was now I can discuss more precisely what exactly it was that I didn't like about the book (which is one of the reasons I reread books). First there's the pacing and the plot, or I should say lack of. The book immediately kicks off with Lia running away from her arranged marriage on the day of her wedding, so we're immediately thrown into the action. I usually don't like that, but the book remedied that problem by using the first few pages to show Lia's feelings on the wedding and how others in the court regard her, including her own father. So when she runs away, we sympathize with her and want her to succeed. Then the book shows her and her loyal hand maid arriving in the city of Terravain where they intend to live the rest of their lives working at an inn. This time delay and again was used well because it showed Lia's determination and adjustment to her new life. The book also splits POV's between the prince she was supposed to marry, and an assassin who was sent to kill her. Since this is my second read through, I already knew who was who, so the suspense of those scenes was gone, and I started to view them as unnecessary to the plot. A few chapters after the prince and assassin arrive, is when I started to have problems. The book really does nothing, there's no romantic, political, or personal drama. It's just a bunch of filler until Lia decides to go back which leads to her being kidnapped, and that's well after the half way point. After that things do pick up a bit and the book starts to resemble the beginning narrative, but it's a case of too little, too late. By the time we got to Lia's cross country journey (which I've made clear I struggle with those story lines) I just wanted the book to be over and while I could identify interesting, relevant or even emotional points, I found myself not caring. For example when Lia finds her brother killed in a battle near the end of her journey, she buries him and his entire platoon with her bare hands because she refuses to leave him for the animals. It's clear that this is supposed to be emotional scene but it doesn't work for 2 reasons. One, like I already stated I just wanted the book to be over and didn't care but that's a personal reason. Two, we only saw this brother in 2 short scenes through the entire book, and during Lia's entire time in Terravain, there are no moments when she's fondly thinking of her brother. So the readers aren't emotional attached to this guy, and even Lia doesn't seem to come across as emotionally attached to her brother, so the burial scene fails to make the impact that it was trying to. My other big issue with this book was the female characters. I have mixed opinions on the female characters in the book. On the one hand, it's great to see multiple female characters with different personalities that Lia gets along well with. Even Lia herself seems like a decent protagonist, she's rebellious but matures, and she has that underlying intelligence and determination (which is actively demonstrated in the book). On the other hand none of the female characters, besides Berti, really has a personal conflict that doesn't involve a male. Lia running away from her arranged marriage and not going back because she doesn't want to marry the prince. In fact whenever she talks about her past with the other characters, it always has to do with the marriage and how it makes her feel like a set piece and she's determined to hate the prince she's never met. Gwenyth and Pauline are both women with children but no husbands, and Pauline spends the majority of her screen time gushing about her beloved, then spends a decent chunk of time mourning his “death.” It undermines the independent female narrative when it always comes back to the men. Even the conversations among the women does this, where almost all, if not all, are on the subject of the males in their lives, be it family or love interest. I'm not even sure if this would pass the Bechtel test, and that really bugs me, because the narrative really tries to present Lia as this strong independent woman. Surprisingly I didn't really have any issues with the romantic plot, in fact I think I would have liked to see more of it. Originally I thought that the love triangle was pretty good because I could see Lia falling for Rafe or Kaden. During this reread though, it's apparent that Lia prefers Rafe because he's the one she's always thinking of and wants to spend time with (which is fine, he's the one I prefer). There is still a good chance for a love triangle to arise due to the reveal of which boy is the prince and which one is the assassin, which completely changes Lia's dynamic with the 2 boys, so it will be interesting to see how the romance is played out in the next book. Ultimately there were things that I liked about this book, there were things I didn't. There's a lot in this world that I think was underdeveloped (like the world, conflict, and even characters) but there is clearly a lot of potential for the series, because this first book gives you that feeling that it's building up to something. I have heard that the series improves, so I am hopeful that I will like the next book better than this one. Kiss of Deception received 3 out 5 stars.

Princess Academy by Shannon Hale: This is a reread that I have been putting off for awhile. Why? Because I was worried that it wasn't going to be as good as I remember it being. The last time I read it was probably in elementary school, and based on the fact that there has only been one reread I liked, let alone loved, from all my junior high rereads I had some legitimate concerns. Princess Academy ended up being a delightfully cute reread, that I overall enjoyed. With the last 2 books, I knew I wasn't really enjoying them because I got to a point where I just wanted the story to be done and rushed to the ending. I didn't have that feeling with Princess Academy, and it probably helped since the book itself was fairly short. Since it's a book geared for more children than teenagers, it does keep things fairly simple and quick, yet still managed to convey a good story with a positive message. The story's about Miri, a 14 year old from a village in the mountains who, along with other girls from the village, must now attend the titular academy because the prince will choose his wife from this group of mountain girls. Miri at the start is a delicate and sheltered girl who lacks confidence and sees herself as a burden because she's not allowed to mine the mountain, and by the end she is confident in who she is and what she wants. Of all the books I've read I honestly think she has one of the better character arcs. I liked how organic and straight forward it was, and that education played a huge role, and her determination and love of learning become core traits. With her growth in confidence also comes friends. In the beginning she's basically an outcast, which drives her to fill the void with books, and then she slowly makes more friends due to a mix of her new confidence and selflessness. The book has a few plot driven moments, like entering the Academy, the ball, and the bandits, and I think these moments were well spaced out and appropriately added in at the right moment so that things are moving forward at an appropriate pace. The romance is cute and light hearted, with 2 good people who were childhood friends being sweet on each other. It's not a romance that tugs at my heart, but it's the kind of romance I love seeing and wish I could see more of. The world building was kept fairly simple (it is a children's book) but it still felt plausible and had a distinct identity with the quarry. There were only 2 things that I did dislike, the “magic” and the teacher, Olanna. So the magic in this book is called quarry speech, and what it does is allow people to communicate through the linder stone itself (the stone in Mt. Eskel). What I didn't like was how subjective it was, but it really is a minor aspect that connects to some bigger themes of the book very well. It's an important part of the identity of the people of Mount Eskel, and helps Miri connect to the other girls and grow in confidence. So while I don't love the quarry speech itself, I like what it does for the characters. Olanna on the other hand was something that had no redeemable qualities. In the beginning she acts as more of an antagonist than a tutor. Not only was she very snobby, constantly talking down to the girls and trying to belittle them, she was also flat out abusive to them. Hitting them, locking them in a closet, and wouldn't allow them to go home to their families. Olanna also acted as a hindrance for Miri gaining any friends because she would collectively punish the group for something Miri did, essentially putting a target on Miri's back. I really like good student/ teacher relationships (not romance) and those are hard to find, so it's disappointing that Olanna is the exact opposite of the supportive teacher that I wanted, but that isn't her worst offense. She only changes because the girls force her to change ways, and ultimately sees no consequences for her horrible behavior, which really grated my nerves. Putting adults like this in positions of power, and letting them go free after they've proven what an ass they are is something I put under the category of “yes, it happens in real life, but I hate seeing it in fiction.” I enjoyed this book more than I thought I would, since it is geared toward a young audience, and ended up giving it 4 out 5 stars.

The Fifth Season by N. K Jemisin: I finally, finally got around to reading this. This was my other Pick-It-For-Me Challenge (the first being Eliza and Her Monsters) and I was a little worried about because everyone (and I mean everyone) that reads it loves it, and it's an award winning series. I also tried reading a bind up of Jemisin first work, The Dreamblood Duology, and I put it down after a couple of chapters (I might pick it back up). While I do think this book was as amazing and unique as everyone says it is, and it worthy of the praise it receives, I think the bar was set just a little too high for it. As more time passes I'm beginning to realize that while I don't love this book. It's good but not great. It's unique, it's heart wrenching, it's contains relevant themes, but I personally didn't get super attached to this book, and there are some opportunities that I think the book missed out on. I noticed that one of the best elements of this book and probably the driving force for the narrative are the themes. Books that are theme driven do generally leave a good impression on me and have a good impact, but I don't fine myself loving them as much as could because I think they kind of lack a personality (the exception to this is In An Absent Dream whose themes and the way it presented them happened to really strike a cord with me). The major themes in The Fifth Season are oppression and motherhood, as well as humans being tied to the earth. All important topics and I do think this first book handled well, for the most part, but it's that “most part” bit that drives the book down a smidge. I wanted more of Damaya's POV because I wanted to see more of how a child deal's with oppression and how it shapes them (also school setting). I wanted to see more growth in Essun and Hoa's relationship since he starts out as this strange surrogate child who follows her after she's lost her son and is searching for her daughter. These things might be further developed in the later books but I just don't know. There a few other things that I wish were done differently, but since they contain spoilers I'm not going to go into it here. The strange thing is I think this book was so hyped up I expected it to be a perfect book rather than just a good book. I still really liked this book but it also disappointed me to an extent. The Fifth Season received 4 out 5 stars and was my pick for the PopSugar prompt “own voices book.”

The Handmaid's Tale by Margret Atwood: It's a little surprising that I enjoyed this one as much as I did. I fully expected it to be a very depressing read that I just wanted to quit and get rid, so I thought I would be putting this off for awhile. Instead something compelled me to pick this book up and I ended up reading it much sooner than I expected. While there were definitely some uncomfortable scenes, I think this book did a fantastic job at conveying the message that it did, and this was a book I wanted to continue reading despite my initial hesitancy. For those who don't know what this book is about, it follows Offred, a Handmaid (whose entire purpose is to produce a healthy child) as she tries to survive her daily live in the oppressive new American regime. There isn't much plot, since the whole story serves as a cautionary tale. The characters in this book aren't much either, they really don't have much depth to them, however they don't need it. They mainly serve as set pieces, including the narrator, to illustrate the world around them and all the injustices now present. In fact the narrator, Offred, distinctly comes off as a passive set piece, not just because of her current oppressive circumstance but even in flashbacks, she basically reacts to others around her. While this doesn't always make her a likeable character, it works here because she really is trapped and has essentially no options, she has to go with the flow in order to survive. It's a very introspective novel and there is something about Atwood's writing that makes the story work, despite the lack of elements I usually enjoy in a story. The downside I would say about that is it's easier to forget specifics and just remember the feelings you had at certain moments throughout the story, and I struggle to write about something when I'm just going based off of feelings. It's why I don't have much say in this wrap up. I think it's one of those books where you have to read it for yourself to see what all the hype is and honestly if a book like this can last in the mainstream media for as long as it has then that that says something about both the book and the environment it's in. It's a testament to both Atwood's writing and the current socio-political environment that this book still appeals to a modern audience. My rating of The Handmaid's Tale managed to stay same, leaving it at a solid 4 out of 5 stars.

Thank You Everyone

Keep Calm and Keep Reading

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spotlightsaga · 7 years

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Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... GLOW (S01E04) The Dusty Spur Airdate: June 23, 2017 Ratings: @netflix original Score: 8.75/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** 'The Dusty Spur' is only the 4th episode out of 10 in S1... That's really not a whole lot of screen time for such a big cast of 'larger than life' personalities. I saw Kenny Herzog of 'Vulture' (that's right I call out names. This is GLOW, bitch. Step into the ring!), get a bit restless in his review of the episode. Kenny is calling for a bit more action, but I believe GLOW is exactly where it needs to be, doing exactly what it needs to be doing... Really exploring origin stories and holding up a magnifying lens to its characters in a careful and steady manner. Any true fan of wrestling knows that it's all about the build and you simply don't have wrestling without well rounded characters... And you don't have well rounded characters unless you give them as many dimensions as possible, not worthwhile characters anyway. Truly, these characters in GLOW are so electric, they're literally sparking with depth. I want to see GLOW explore that depth, because once we get to the main events, that's the only way it's ever really going to take it to the next level and really put the show over with fans. I remember JBL recalling a match he had with the late, GREAT Eddie Guerrero on a podcast a few years back. I can't quote him verbatim but he broke down the psychology and and anticipation needed to truly make 5-Star matches. At the time JBL was no rookie, but the main event scene on such a grand platform is obviously one that can easily rattle one's nerves. Eddie had some wise words and tidbits of much needed inspiring motivation at the time. He literally told JBL that they would tease the crowd a bit, give them a slow back and forth, go into a headlock and hold it for an unnecessarily long time. Basically, bore them to death. Now, GLOW is anything but boring, but surely Creator Liz Flahive & 'The Dusty Spur' writer, Sascha Rothschild, took a page out of Eddie's book. The crowd will never genuinely connect in the truly engrossing and all-encompassing way that it needs to if we don't know who these people are. There is no need to rush... It's not about the finish line or immediate gratification, it's about building anticipation with the audience so that the show resonates with them long after S1 is over... Just like Eddie Guerrero's grandiose, emotionally charged matches. I doubt there is fan out there that can recall an important match of Eddie's that doesn't have a few points that they can still remember like it was yesterday, making the hairs on the back of their neck stand up as they tell it... Not just triggering nostalgia, but triggering greatness. That's what Netflix's GLOW team is creating here, something that will stick with us forever... Leave us pissed off we have to wait a whole year between seasons. That's how you do it! To be fair to Kenny, he wasn't bashing the show, quite the opposite really. Although he does go on to say that 'The show is sacrificing a bit of humor for authenticity'. See, now they just can't win... As if I recall Vulture saying the very opposite about OITNB. Both of these comments just struck me the wrong way. I know everyone is eager for these women to get in the ring, but we got a little ways to go. I doubt anyone will have to wait to much longer as the experiment has to begin sooner than later. None of these women who the creative team of GLOW are reimagining in their brilliant dramatization have a story like WWE's Sami Zayn. They didn't tour almost 15 years working their asses off in the Indies, then hit a performance training center and introductory WWE promotion like NXT for three years, and then finally and triumphantly make it to the main stage. No, no... They were pushed right into the fire, but that doesn't mean we still don't need to get these episodes where we truly get to know these women. Just like in OITNB, GLOW does a fantastic job of juggling many different character arcs, subplots, and focused character work, all while moving the core narrative at a respectable speed. We got a flash of the exact vision that Sam (Marc Maron) has for his big main event. Obviously, Debbie (Betty Gilpin) is already there... She may have her own drama, but she knows who she is and can naturally step into any part she's given anyway. It's Ruth who is still struggling with her 'would-be' personas. She comes up with a few ideas and pitches them to Sam but she's shot down. Sam even goes as far as to suggest that her gimmick's fate isn't even necessarily in her own hands... And can you blame him? Obviously there's something inside Ruth that's worth tapping into, but it feels like no one, especially Ruth, knows where to even start. Maybe Sheila the She Wolf (Gayle Rankin) can give Ruth a helping paw. Their pairing is so odd, but the fact that these two have ended up in the same room together makes for both great comedy and one of the most awkwardly dramatic scenes in the entire episode. Sheila has big issues with sharing living space with another human being... No, this isn't because Sheila identifies as a wolf, it's much deeper than that. Clearly, Sheila has worked hard to not only accurately express how she feels on the inside, but to keep any possible vulnerability that may open her up for ridicule swept under the rug. Ruth acknowledging that Sheila was sleeping with a wig on was probably the straw that broke the camels back, but as we've mentioned before... Ruth may not know who she is quite yet, but her passion and aspirations help define her while she embarks on her own existential quest. It's a bit like Ruth is a cockroach... It's going to take more than a couple of traps and putting roadkill in her bed to get rid of her. Ruth is just about awkward in everything she does, and that includes opening to Sheila and attempting to find common ground. I loved that Ruth was absolutely terrible at doing so, but just the fact that she was making an effort was met with respect from Sheila. These women are all making the most of their scenes and I hope that this becomes a huge launching pad for talented women like Rankin who have never been given this type of platform before. Another big shout out to our girl Tammé (Kia Stevens aka Awesome Kong/Kharma). Everything she's been handed in this series so far has been elevated to another level by her clear vision of her character and obvious professionalism. I think a lot of people are ready to easily dismiss wrestlers as jokes when it comes to the acting world but we continue to see many who have not just succeeded, but exploded into both 'Main Stream Blockbusters' & respected dives into nuanced character work. Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson immediately comes to mind. Sure he can carry a big film, but look at the incredible depth he provides his Spencer character on HBO's 'Ballers'. I honestly believe that Kia Stevens has what it takes to not just create a splash in Hollywood, but to inspire real, honest to God respect from fans, critics, and her fellow peers in the industry alike. Tammé is having some issues with her 'Welfare Queen' persona. It's an obvious insulting stereotype when looked at through a certain lens. She's literally wrestling with the fact that she's worked hard in life to give her children a chance to be greater than any stereotype society associates with people of color, especially in the 80s. But with the help of Cherry's husband, Keith (Bashir Salahuddin), and his very simple remark that he finds Marc 'to be more sexist than racist' paired with watching an old shlock film of Marc's that has an oddly timed video dating cut right near the end of the film, Tammé appears to be coming to terms with the character. She's learning how to separate pointless stereotypes with the benefits of 'kitsch' and championing irony in the stereotype's context... And in pro-wrestling, both men's and women's wrestling, that's something that's extremely important. It would be disrespectful for me to end this review without noting that our man, former WWE Superstar Brodus Clay aka TNA hired gun Tyrus (George Murdoch) makes an appearance as Carmen's sympathetic brother who appears at their training camp with their legendary wrestling father, Goliath Jackson (Winston James Francis). They are there strictly to retrieve Carmen after they quickly realize that the giant pile of pillows and shoes in Carmen's old bed are not actually Carmen. Goliath and Carmen's two brothers are primarily used as a reminder to the audience that no one, not even the parent and member of a wrestling dynasty family, believes that these women will be taken seriously on any level. Carmen is one of those characters on GLOW that I tend to perk up for. Her lovable giant and adorable 'Machu Picchu' persona aren't exactly cutting edge material here (not quite yet, anyway), but actress Britney Young is proving that she can hang with best of them. Her scenes with her new roomie Rhonda aka Brittanica (real life singer-songwriter Kate Nash) give off a bit of 'explorative' vibe, possibly lesbian or it could be as simple as the differences in body image as Carmen is so quick to point out. Whatever direction they go with these two is ok with me, the pairing up of all the characters in the hotel is doing nothing but helping the spotlight shine on each and every character just a little bit more... And trust me, to all those pining for action, you'll appreciate all this character work they're doing now when these women finally step in the ring and start doing what they all came here to do... Wrestle!

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minijenn · 7 years

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Universe Falls Chapter 26

Well here we are with the angst kick off at last! This chapter fucked me up all kinds of good while writing it, so I hope you all enjoy it! I don’t have too much else to say about it, so... let’s dive right in!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/155361222859/universe-falls-chapter-25

Chapter 26: On the Run

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Save for the occasional monster invasion, the temple was generally an overall peaceful place to simply go and relax, which was exactly what the kids were spending their afternoon doing there. While Lion and Waddles napped together on loft above, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel all sat on the couch below, each of them engaged in their own respective activities. Mabel was busy at work knitting another sweater and though Dipper and Steven were both reading, their respective books of choice couldn’t be any more different. While Dipper poured over the journal once again, Steven was engrossed in reading a novel from his favorite book series: The No Home Boys.

“Whoa,” the young Gem gasped under his breath after coming up to a suspenseful cliffhanger in the novel. “How are they gonna get outta this one?” Fortunately, he got his answer as soon as he turned the page and read on. “Oh, that’s how.”

“Aaaaand… its done!” Mabel proclaimed after putting the last finishing touch on her latest sweater. “Here you go, Steven!” she held the sweater up for the young Gem to see. “What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Steven repeated with a huge grin, shutting his book. “I think it’s amazing, Mabel! Is it really for me?”

“Sure is!” Mabel quipped happily, handing off to him. “It even has your star on it and everything. Try it on!”

The young Gem didn’t hesitate to do so, pulling the sweater over his shirt and smiling down at it in elation. “Wow!” he laughed brightly. “It’s a perfect fit!”

“My sweaters always are,” Mabel nodded in satisfaction. “What do you think, bro-bro?”

As supposedly preoccupied with the journal as he was, Dipper hardly heard his sister’s question, nor did he really even notice Mabel or Steven looking to him inquisitively. “Uh… Dipper?” Steven tried again a moment later.

“Hm?” Dipper sparsely replied, not bothering to look up from the journal.

“I ask you what you thought of the sweater I made for Steven,” Mabel huffed impatiently, rolling her eyes at her brother’s obliviousness.

“Oh. It’s cool,” Dipper answered flatly, still seemingly distracted. Though Mabel simply let out another annoyed sigh at this, Steven couldn’t help but notice there was something else in Dipper’s otherwise bored tone. Remorse, apprehension, maybe sadness? Whatever it was, the young Gem’s curious, empathetic nature refused to simply let it lie.

“Dipper, is everything ok?” the young Gem asked, concerned.

“What?” Dipper blinked, finally looking up from the journal. The question caught him off guard somewhat, but he was quick to catch himself the best he could. “O-oh, uh, yeah. Everything’s fine,” he reassured with a weak, rather fake smile. “Why do you ask?”

“Cause you’re sitting there being all pouty,” Mabel teased. “What are you so mopey about anyway? Did that ol’ journal give you a paper cut or something?”

“No, that’s not what-” Dipper quickly cut himself off, glancing away from the pair as he blocked them out of sight with the journal. “No,” he muttered, feigning emotionlessness and conveying anything but. “It’s… It’s nothing.”

Steven and Mabel both frowned, neither of them really convinced. “Are you sure?” the young Gem asked earnestly. “Because it sounds like something’s bothering you.”

“Yeah, bro-bro, spill it!” Mabel urged less tactfully, playfully pushing against her brother. “You can’t hide it from us! We can sniff emotional distress a mile away and you’re reeking of it!”

“Mabel, please,” Dipper scoffed, pushing his sister away. “I don’t have any ‘emotional distress’ or anything like that. I’m fine, okay? So let’s just drop it.”

Once again, Mabel and Steven exchanged a doubtful glance. “Are you buying that shtick?” Mabel asked the young Gem, her hands on her hips.

“Not for a second,” Steven shook his head. “Dipper, why don’t you just tell us what’s wrong? You’ll feel better if you do, I promise!”

“I doubt that…” Dipper muttered diffidently, though the others still clearly heard him.

“Aha! So you admit it!” Mabel accused, jumping to stand on the couch. “Something is getting you down! And you better tell us what it is so we can help you. Or else!”

“Or else what?” Dipper asked, not taking her threat seriously.

“Or else…” Steven tried to come up with something, but thankfully Mabel jumped in with a perfect idea.

“Or else this!” Without any warning, Mabel suddenly launched herself at her brother, subjecting him to a full-on tickle assault. Dipper was powerless to stop her as he involuntarily laughed all while trying his hardest to push her away. Steven was of no help whatsoever as he stood by and chuckled in amusement, cheering Mabel on all the while. Of course, in the end Mabel won out as Dipper finally caved after only about a minute of intensive tickling.

“Ok, ok!” he gasped between exhausted laughs, finally shoving Mabel off of him. “You guys win. I’ll tell you about it. But fair warning: you both are probably gonna think this is sort of dumb.”

“Aw, come on, Dipper, don’t be like that!” Mabel said with something of an apologetic smile.

“Yeah! If it’s important to you, then its important to us!” Steven added warmly.

Dipper sighed, hardly reassured, but even so, he dove right into it, as much as he didn’t really want to. “Ok so… uh, I’ve just been thinking a lot about what happened the other day. You know, when I indirectly broke Wendy and Robbie up?”

“Oh yeah, Steven told me about that,” Mabel nodded. “I heard it was pretty rough. But I thought you’d be happy about it, Dipper. After all, it means that Wendy is single and ready to mingle again!”

“Yeah, well the last person she’d probably ever wanna ‘mingle’ with is me,” Dipper remarked glumly. “She was really upset over what happened, and I kind of can’t help but feel like that’s my fault for telling her what Robbie was up to in the first place.”

“But Dipper, you did the right thing letting Wendy know the truth,” Steven said with a consoling smile. “Garnet even said so herself.”

“Well Garnet also said that Wendy would eventually forgive me but that hasn’t happened yet,” Dipper retorted, crossing his arms and looking down. “It’s been almost a week and we’ve barely spoken to each other since then. And at this rate, she probably never will again.”

“Well there’s your problem!” Mabel exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “You’ve been wasting all this time waiting for Wendy to come to you, when you should be the one to go to Wendy!”

“Mabel’s right,” Steven agreed. “Maybe Wendy hasn’t talked to you about it yet because she doesn’t know you’re still upset about it. But I’m sure she’d forgive you if you just asked her to!”

“Are you guys serious?” Dipper scoffed. “This is a really delicate situation! I can’t just walk up to Wendy and tell her I’m sorry! If anything that would just remind her of what happened and make her feel worse!”

“So… are you just going to keep avoiding her then?” Steven asked with a frown.

“…Maybe…”

“Oh, Dipper,” Mabel shook her head. “You can’t just run away from all your problems! You should do what Grunkle Stan says: man up and punch them in the face!”

“Somehow I feel like that would only make things even worse…” Dipper remarked dryly. Still, neither Steven nor Mabel had a chance to much more encouragement as the warp pad lit up, signaling the Gems’ incoming arrival.

“Ugh, who cares?” Amethyst groaned as their ongoing conversation continued as they warped in. “It’s not like it’s even that big of a deal.”

“I’d say it’s a very big deal!” Pearl protested crossly. “We should have been more careful. Who knows what dangers just letting Lapis return to Homeworld could bring? If she tells them about us… they might try to return to Earth…” The white Gem sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes wide with sudden panic. “We can’t let them come back!”

“Pearl, calm down,” Garnet reassured. “We checked the Homeworld warp and it’s still inactive. We’re still cut off. The Earth is safe.”

“Safe from what?”

All three of the Gems froze upon hearing Steven pose this innocent question, turning towards the kids in the den with genuine shock. “S-Steven! Dipper! Mabel!” Pearl exclaimed with a nervous laugh, stepping off the warp pad. “We… we didn’t know you three were here!”

“Hey, check this out you guys,” Amethyst smirked, holding out a large rock she had brought back with her before crushing it with her bare hands. “Kaboosh!”

“Amethyst, please!” the white Gem chastised, shielding herself from the resounding shrapnel. “Be serious for once!”

“Pfft, never,” the purple Gem crossed her arms and glared in the opposite direction.

“So what were you guys saying about Homeworld just a minute ago?” Dipper asked, his melancholy replaced with his usual curiosity.

“Yeah, what would be so bad about letting them come visit Earth?” Mabel added blithely. “Meeting all those new Gems would be a lot of fun!”

“Trust us, no it wouldn’t,” Garnet replied simply.

“But based on what Lapis said about Homeworld, it doesn’t sound so bad,” Steven mused with a frown. “Then again, she really didn’t say anything about it…”

“Kids… What happened with Homeworld… Well, it’s… it’s complicated,” Pearl began, glancing away guiltily. Still, she was prompted to explain it anyway as the Gem leader put a steady hand on her shoulder.

“Remember, we promised we would start being honest with them,” Garnet reminded gently.

“Right…” Pearl nodded, taking in a deep breath before kneeling down to the kids’ level. “You see, kids, a very long time ago, Gems came to the Earth and tried to do something… very bad. It was something that would have damaged the Earth, irrecoverably so. Some Gems, like Rose Quartz, Garnet, and myself, felt that this was unfair to the life that already existed here, and so we swore to never let the Earth be used for their… purposes. Even if it meant-” The white Gem was suddenly interrupted as Amethyst shattered another rock, her expression bitter and angry as she did so. Pearl let out an aggravated sigh, but continued nonetheless. “Even if it meant we could never go home.”

“Long story short, we chose Earth,” Garnet concluded firmly.

“Wait, so what was Homeworld trying to do anyway?” Dipper asked, immensely interested by this newfound information. After all, not even the journal detailed any of what Pearl had just explained, save for the Crystal Gems’ dedication to protecting the Earth.

Garnet and Pearl exchanged a worried glance at this, neither of them really sure how to go about describing the truth. “We’ll… save that for another time,” the Gem leader said, her stoicism breaking a bit.

“Aw, come on!” Mabel let out a groan along with her brother. “You guys don’t have to end Gem story time here! We’re always down for hearing more cool dark secrets about you guys!”

“Well… some of our ‘secrets’ are a little darker than others…” Pearl frowned apprehensively.

“Whoa, wait a sec!” Steven interjected, stars suddenly in his eyes. “If you guys can’t go back to your home… then that means… we’re just like the No-Home Boys!”

Everyone turned to look at the young Gem upon hearing this, all of them aptly confused. “The what?” Pearl asked with a frown.

“The No-Home Boys!” Steven exclaimed, holding up the book he had been reading earlier. “It’s a book series about these boys who have no home. So they travel around the country, living in boxcars, riding river rafts and solving mysteries! They had a successful run, until the disastrous graphic novel adaptation. But my favorite story is this one: On the Run. In it, the No-Home Boys are chased across the countryside by a mysterious pursuer, which turns out to be the very fear resting within themselves.”

“Whoa! That’s like, you guys’ life story!” Mabel exclaimed to the Gems with a wide smile.

“Oh please,” Pearl scoffed, rolling her eyes. “We are not like the No-Home Boys. Steven, we are literally standing in your home right now.”

“Yeah… that’s a bit of a stretch,” Garnet agreed caustically as her and the white Gem headed for the temple gate. “On the Run does make for a pretty gripping title though.”

“I know,” Steven shrugged with a grin. “That’s why it’s the first book in the series. To draw people in with its drama and excitement.”

“I bet,” Garnet chuckled softly, disregarding Pearl’s aggravated sigh as they both went inside.

“Bye, you guys!” Mabel cheerfully called out after the two elder Gems as the door slid shut behind them, even though Amethyst remained outside.

“Ok, then…” Dipper frowned, somewhat perturbed at how sparse Garnet and Pearl had been. Hopefully though, the purple Gem would be a bit more loose with the truth than her teammates often were. “So Amethyst… what did Homeworld Gems want to do with the Earth anyway?”

“Who cares?” Amethyst answered bitterly, crossing her arms and looking away.

“We do!” Steven said with a curious grin. “Will you please tell us about it, Amethyst? Please? Please? Please?”

“Ugh…” the purple Gem let out a loud groan. “Why do you guys wanna know about all that dumb old stuff anyway? It all happened way long ago so none of it matters anymore. Which means we don’t need to talk about it, ok?”

“Oooo, looks like you’re not the only one who’s emotionally distressed around here, Dipper!” Mabel goaded her brother, flashing a sly smirk to Amethyst as well.

“Pfft, whatever,” Amethyst scoffed, not confirming it but not denying it either.

“Well if you are feeling down, Amethyst, then you can always hang out here with the three of us!” Steven reassured. “Right guys?”

“Actually, you’re gonna have to make that the two of you,” Mabel said, pointing to Steven and Dipper. “I’m have to go down to the mall to meet Candy and Grenda for a SHOPPING SPREE!” she practically squealed as she ran for the door. “Maybe while I’m out I’ll pick up something to cheer you two sad sacks up,” she grinned at Dipper and Amethyst, who both rolled their eyes in response. “But in the meantime, don’t go talking about any cool, super secretive Gem stuff without me, ok? Bye!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice…” Amethyst muttered sullenly so that no one else could hear her.

“Bye!” the boys both called out after Mabel as she left, leaving the trio alone. It was clear that both Dipper and Amethyst were still a little down for their own respective reasons, and gradually this melancholy passed onto Steven as well as he flopped down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

“You know,” the young Gem began, flipping through his book once more. “I wish I was a No-Home Boy. No past, no future. Just the open road!”

“Yeah…” Dipper agreed with a sigh of his own. “That whole no past, no future thing actually sounds pretty nice right about now… Too bad it’s impossible.”

“Impossible? Says who?” Amethyst suddenly perked up.

“Well, Dipper said that a second ago,” Steven pointed out rather obliviously.

The purple Gem rolled her eyes as she took a seat in between the boys. “Listen,” she began, her lasting scowl finally turning into a smirk. “You guys wanna see the open road? Then let’s do it.”

“What?!” both Steven and Dipper exclaimed in startled unison.

“Yeah,” Amethyst grinned daringly. “Let’s run.”

“Really?!” the young Gem asked with an excited smile.

“Sure, why not? Sounds like fun.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Dipper quickly interjected, clearly not as on board with this sudden idea. “Amethyst, we can’t just… just run away!”

“Uh, yeah we can,” Amethyst argued dryly. “All we gotta do is get out the door and go.”

“Where are we gonna run away to?” Steven asked, eager and ready for this escapade.

“Doesn’t matter where, dude,” the purple Gem shrugged. “We can go wherever we want, do whatever we want, and best of all, no one will be around to tell us that we can’t. Unless you plan on being lame and doing that, Dipper.”

“I only said we can’t because running away is actually crazy!” Dipper protested defensively. “Amethyst, I know you don’t have to eat or anything, but me and Steven do, and it’s not like food is something that’s really easy to come by when you’re on the run with no money or no way of getting money.”

“Oh! I know how to handle that!” Steven quipped. “We’ll just do what the No-Home Boys do! We’ll pack bindles of food and supplies to start us out for a few weeks and when we run out, we’ll use our quick wit and determination to savage more and survive on our own! Like real men!”

“Yeah!” Amethyst cheered in brazen encouragement. Yet even so, Dipper wasn’t sold on the relatively risky plan.

“Steven, somehow I doubt being literally homeless isn’t as fun as those books of yours make it sound,” he remarked caustically. “And besides, somebody will notice we’re gone eventually. What about Mabel, Grunkle Stan, Pearl, Garnet—?”

“Ok I’m gonna stop you right there,” the purple Gem interrupted. “One: I don’t care about what Pearl or Garnet might say about this. And two: Stan won’t care because he’s done stuff way crazier than this before. And I should know; I was there for a lot of it.”

“Please come with us, Dipper!” Steven pleaded sincerely. “If you don’t, then we can’t be like the No-Home Boys because Amethyst’s a Gem and I’ll be the only boy!”

“Seriously, dude, loosen up for a change,” Amethyst added. “Take a chance, have some fun. You really wanna sit around all day with your nose in that dumb old journal when you could be living life wild and free?”

“Hey, that wasn’t all I was going to do today,” Dipper retorted firmly. “I was… I was gonna… I’m going to head back down to the Mystery Shack after you guys set out “on the road’, or whatever.”

“Oh, good!” Steven exclaimed, allayed. “Maybe while you’re down there, you and Wendy can finally talk about what happened the other day! That’ll make you feel better for sure!”

Dipper froze up upon hearing this suggestion, his immediate thought being that this was a terrible idea. The thought of going up to Wendy and engaging in what would certainly be a very awkward conversation in light of the circumstances was downright nerve-wracking to him. In fact it was as he came to this conclusion that he realized that the alternative that Steven and Amethyst were proposing to him was more than just an impromptu, harrowing, risky adventure. It could very well be an all-out escape, one that he’d be remiss over if he didn’t take it. “…On second thought… I think I might actually join you guys after all…”

“Whoa, really?” Amethyst asked, intrigued. “That’s pretty hardcore of you, dude. Nice.”

“Hooray!” Steven cheered excitedly. “Oh man, this is gonna be so much fun! We’ll pack up our bindles, hitch a ride on a train, build a fire to keep us warm at night and tell stories around it, and see the world! What could be better?!”

“Y-yeah…” Dipper agreed with something of an uneasy laugh. After all, what they were about to do could no doubt be quite dangerous considering the unpredictability of the open road. But even so, he had already agreed to it; there was no backing out now. “What… what could be better?”

“Nothing could,” the purple Gem answered solidly, wrapping an arm around both boys’ shoulders. “You guys know why? Because this crew’s going ON THE RUN!”

The trio didn’t waste any time in starting their preparations for their ‘journey’. Amethyst urged that she wanted to be gone before Garnet or Pearl returned, and neither Steven nor Dipper could really blame her for it. After all, if the elder Gems knew what they were up to, certainly they would try to hold them all back and scold them for even entertaining such a thought. But all the same, they had made up their minds. They were leaving to parts unknown, and they weren’t coming back until they wanted to. As Amethyst had put it, they were the “masters of their own destinies” now.

It was a pretty enticing thought. The execution, however, seemed as though it might be a bit less glamorous.

Seeing as how they were limited in both time and space, the group took to shoving whatever they could find lying in the fridge into the spare pillowcases Steven had found in his closet. From there, they tied them to sticks, creating bindles that weren’t too heavy and sufficed to carry the basics. And, after throwing out all their fears and reservations, the trio set off, ready to go wherever the wind took them.

Amethyst had made sure to advise Steven not to leave a note for Garnet and Pearl stating what they were doing and fortunately the young Gem obliged. Along those same lines, Dipper insisted they push right past the shack as they headed into town, mostly so Stan, Soos, or especially Wendy would catch on. But as much as they all wanted to remain inconspicuous about their plan, there was one person that both Steven and Dipper couldn’t help but feel guilty about leaving out of the loop.

“You know, I kinda wish we had gotten the chance to say goodbye to Mabel before we left…” Dipper said with a frown as they made it into town.

“But we did say goodbye to her when she left earlier remember?” Steven pointed out.

“No, Steven, I meant like an actual goodbye.”

“Oh yeah…” the young Gem said somewhat morosely. “I guess we should have, since we might be gone for a really long time… Oh, I know! We could always send her a postcard! They do sell postcards on the open road, right Amethyst?”

“Heck if I know,” the purple Gem shrugged. “What I do know is that once we get out of this drag of a town, everything’s gonna finally be great.”

“Amethyst, I don’t know if this is… ok to ask, but… what made you suddenly wanna run away anyway?” Dipper asked somewhat tentatively.

“Nothin’ did,” Amethyst said, letting out what seemed like a forced laugh. “I just… wanted to, you know? Thought it would be fun if I took you two dorks with me. So far it ain’t that bad.”

“Aw, come on, Amethyst,” Steven prodded with an understanding smile. “There’s gotta me more to it than that. I mean, I know you and Pearl fight a lot so maybe that could have had something to do with it?”

“What? No way,” the purple Gem scoffed defensively. “This has nothing to do with Pearl. Sometimes I just… wanna get away, alright? Not everything has to have a reason. That’s the first lesson you guys are gonna learn once we finally get out there on our own.”

The boys exchanged a glance upon hearing this, Amethyst’s rather cold tone not lost on either of them. They couldn’t really pinpoint why the purple Gem had been acting so touchy and moody all afternoon, even before they left, but it was clear to see nonetheless. But given how closed off and rigid Amethyst often was about her emotions, chances were they weren’t going to get an explanation for it any time soon.

And so the trio continued on down the sidewalk in silence for a while, at least until then sudden blare of a car horn startled them all. “Hey, what’s up, you guys?!” Jenny called as she pulled her car up alongside the group. Crowded in both the front and back were several of the other teens, including Buck, Sour Cream, Nate, Lee, Tambry, and Thompson. Fortunately, Dipper noticed that neither Wendy nor Robbie were among them, but even so, he avoided eye contact with the teens nonetheless, thinking that certainly they knew about the couple’s rough breakup.

“Hi, guys!” Steven exclaimed with a friendly smile. Likewise, even if she wasn’t as familiar with the teens, Amethyst offered them a casual grin and nod of greeting.

“What’s with the sacks?” Lee asked, noting their bindles. “You guys practicing being hobos or something?”

“Uh, yeah, actually,” Amethyst remarked with a smirk.

“We’re on the run!” Steven exclaimed brightly.

“O-on the run?” Thompson asked with concern. “From who?”

“Oh from no one,” the young Gem reassured. “We’re just doing it for fun. Right guys?”

“Yeah,” the purple Gem shrugged.

“Right…” Dipper agreed halfheartedly, still looking away from the teens. “Fun…”

“You guys are really living wild and free with plans like that,” Buck said with a nod of approval. “I like it.”

“So do you three ‘hobos’ need a ride to wherever it is you’re going?” Jenny asked with an amused smirk. “We still got a little room back there, right guys?”

“Meh,” Tambry responded flatly, engrossed in her phone as she sat squeezed tightly between Thompson and Nate.

“We can make room,” Sour Cream assured a moment later.

“We’d love a ride!” Steven grinned, delighted as he ran over to the car and jumped up front in between Buck and Sour Cream. “Thanks so much, Jenny!”

“Don’t mention it,” Jenny laughed before looking to Amethyst and Dipper. “You guys coming too?”

“You bet,” the purple Gem agreed, hopping into the back. “Anything’s better than having to just walking like a bunch of squares. Right, Dipper?” she asked pointedly, noticing his apparent hesitance to join them.

Dipper shot Amethyst an unamused glare at this, but even so he relented and got in the car, knowing that he couldn’t very well refuse, given the circumstances. “Y-yeah… Um, thanks, you guys.”

“So where were you guys going before you passed by us?” Steven inquired curiously as the car pulled into motion once more.

“We were just heading to the Mystery Shack to pick Wendy up from work,” Nate said. “She said she wanted to hang out, blow off some steam, you know?”

“Can’t blame her, dude,” Lee remarked with a frown. “She’s been feeling pretty low ever since her and Robbie broke up last week.”

Dipper sucked in a sharp breath upon hearing this, his former guilt and remorse returning in full force. He had suspected, based on their limited reactions over the past week, that Wendy had been lastingly upset after what happened, but now that suspicion was all but confirmed. Still, it was all the more of a justification for his choice to join Steven and Amethyst in running away. After all, the last thing he wanted to do was make Wendy feel even worse just by going up to her and talking to her about it all.

“Yeah… Me and Dipper were actually there when they broke up,” Steven said sympathetically, not noticing the look of absolute panic Dipper sent him at this. “Wendy seemed really, really upset…”

“But,” Dipper quickly interjected before any of the teens could say anything. “J-just so you guys know, neither of us had anything to do with it! So, uh… yeah!”

“Wait, really?” Amethyst spoke up, confused. “Because just the other day, Garnet was telling me about how you told Wendy that-” The purple Gem was abruptly cut off by Dipper shushing her, but fortunately, none of the teens seemed to question it.

“Yeah, we don’t really know a whole lot about what happened between those two…” Sour Cream mused. “All we know is that it was some pretty heavy drama.”

“Wendy won’t really tell us anything about it and none of us have heard from Robbie since then,” Jenny shrugged. “Guess that’s just par for the course when it comes to dating friends.”

“It’s like asking for trouble,” Buck said stoutly.

“It still sucks that we can’t all hang out like we used to because of this,” Thompson pouted sourly.

“Eh, they’ll get over it,” Tambry muttered, still not looking up from her phone.

“Aw, I’m so sorry, you guys,” Steven said with sincerity. “I know how hard it can be when your friends fight… But I think Tambry’s right! Wendy and Robbie will feel better eventually and then you can all hang out and have fun together, just like before!”

“We hope you’re right, Steven,” Buck said, his tone as stoic as ever, even if there was the slightest hint of wistfulness in it.

“Well, here we are,” Jenny said, bringing the car to a stop. “The outskirts of town. You guys getting out here?”

“Yep!” Amethyst quipped, boldly leaping out of the car and grinning at the nearby sign reading “Now leaving Gravity Falls.”

“Thanks again for the ride, you guys,” Steven smiled as him and Dipper got out of the car with their bindles. “I hope everything turns out alright!”

“Thanks, dude,” Lee grinned. “Hope you whole ‘hobo’ thing works out good too!”

“Oh it will,” Amethyst muttered somewhat mysteriously. “It has to this time.”

As the teens began to call out their goodbyes, Steven blithely waved after them, but Dipper didn’t initially join it, especially as the finality of what they were doing finally hit him. They were leaving, heading off into the great unknown, without the faintest idea of when they might return, if they were even going to return at all. And as much as that thought alone frightened him, the thought of not ever getting at least a chance of reconciling with Wendy, even if it was indirectly, frightened him even more. “Wait!” he suddenly called out after the teens before they could pull away. It was a move driven by impulse and panic and little else, but even so, he resolved himself to go through with it, no matter how it might look. “Uh… when you guys see Wendy again… could you maybe tell her that… I’m sorry?”

“Sorry for what?” Tambry asked, raising a confused eyebrow.

“For um… well, she’ll know what it’s about,” Dipper said, admittedly too ashamed to admit his part in the couple’s breakup to the teens.

The teens all briefly looked to each other, confused, but even so Sour Cream offered him a thumbs up. “Yeah, alright.”

“Bye!” Steven called after the teens drove away, leaving the trio alone once more as they stood by the otherwise empty road.

“So… what now?” Dipper asked, looking to the vast expanse of trees ahead of them.

“Now,” Amethyst began with a smirk. “We just keep on running.”

“Until when?” Steven asked.

“Till whenever!” the purple Gem exclaimed. “C’mon!” Without much warning, Amethyst scooped both Steven and Dipper up and perched them on her shoulders with no trouble at all. It startled both boys somewhat, but even so, they let her carry them into the forest that continued to head out of town. After a while, the purple Gem eventually grew tired of this however, so she put the boys down and forced them to walk, though they didn’t really complain about it. After all, venturing into the mysterious forests that eventually gave way to wield fields was an adventure, one that Steven at least was taking on with his usual optimism and verve. As they made it out of the woods, the young Gem even happened to come across a stray racoon, which he was more than happy to befriend and bring along as they continued on their way. Of course, the creature was only friendly for so long before it turned on Steven and viciously attacked him for his bindle before doing the same to Dipper, all while Amethyst merely stood by and laughed instead of doing anything to really help.

Racoon attacks aside, as exhilarated about their excursion as Steven was, Dipper didn’t really share his enthusiasm, at least not at first. For their first several hours of wandering, he was still largely preoccupied with remorseful, wistful thoughts of Wendy, just as he had been before they left. But the further out they got from Gravity Falls, the less he began to think about it all, especially as Steven and Amethyst provided ample distractions with their jokes and jabs. The purple Gem had been surprisingly accurate in saying that there was something liberating in getting away from it all. With the endless skies above them and the open road ahead of them, it really felt as though they had no limits at all. They could go anywhere, do anything, or be anything they wanted.

And to put it simply, it felt great.

As the sun began to sink low into the sky, the trio happened across a fast-moving train speeding through the valley. Agreeing that this would expedite their travels, Amethyst tossed both boys onto an open train car with gusto before hopping on herself. After spending a while settling into their newfound ride, Steven decided to cheerfully entertain his two traveling companions in the best way he knew how: with song.

“It’s time to get moving, time for us to have some fun,” the young Gem sang brightly, his tune upbeat and bouncy even though it was acapella. While Dipper was somewhat confused by this impromptu musical number, Amethyst smirked as she tapped her hand against the floor of the car to create a fitting beat. “There’s no time to hang around, our adventure’s just begun! We’ll be thinkin’ ‘bout our friends, as we chase the setting sun-”

“But we’re leaving them behind, we’re on the run,” Amethyst joined Steven as he finished the verse before she jumped into whistling a reprise of it.

“Come on, Dipper!” Steven encouraged with a bright laugh. “Sing along with me!”

“Uh… yeah, sorry, Steven, but… that’s not gonna happen,” Dipper said with an small, rather awkward grin.

“What? Why not?”

“Because singing’s… not really my thing, ok?”

“Aw, don’t be silly,” the young Gem said with a wave of his hand. “Just try it! I’m sure you’ll do great!” And with that, Steven leapt into his song once again: “We’re on the run…” he held a long note, waiting eagerly for Dipper to join in. Of course, this never happened as Dipper upheld his stance against singing.

Still, that didn’t keep Amethyst from accompanying Steven with her own new verse instead. “I don’t care about what all the others say.”

“We’re on the run…” Steven sang once more, smiling as the purple Gem joined him.

“Well I guess there are some things that will just never go away,” Amethyst continued, glancing down somewhat morosely. Yet even so, she made sure to recover from her melancholy before either of the boys could really take notice.

“We’re on the run…”

“I wish that I could say that there’s no better place than home-”

“But home’s a place that I have never known!” both Steven and Amethyst sang together, startling Dipper as they both pressed against him while doing so. “That’s why we’re on the run…”

“Well that was… fun?” Dipper said, unsure of what to make of such a sudden performance.

“Yeah it was!” Steven quipped happily. “Just think of all the other great new songs we can come up with and sing out here on the road! And look at that sunset!” The young Gem waved his hand at the open train car door, which was showcasing the crisp glow of the sun as it disappeared over the distant hills. “This is the life!”

“You can say that again,” Amethyst chuckled, propping herself up on a pile on one of the many piles of hay filling the car.

“You know, I wasn’t really sold on this whole running away thing at first,” Dipper admitted with a small smile. “But now that we’re actually out here, it’s kind of nice and relaxing.”

“That’s what I was trying to tell you, dude,” the purple Gem remarked. “Out here, there’s nothing to worry about. We go with the flow, ride the rails, and do nothing but chill. It’s way better than having to follow a bunch of dumb rules and be whatever someone else wants you to be.”

“And the best part is, we still have a bunch of delicious snacks from home to enjoy!” Steven proclaimed, taking a sandwich out of his bindle as Dipper did the same. However, before either of the boys could chow down, a familiar furry face just so happened to leap into the train car and join them.

“Ah!” Steven gasped as the racoon from earlier pounced on him, stealing his food. “The racoon is back!”

“Hold on, Steven! I got this!” Dipper exclaimed, preparing to beat the critter away with the stick of his bindle. Unfortunately, the racoon retaliated by grabbing the stick just in time and used it to roughly pull Dipper to the ground before it made off with both his and Steven’s stashes of food.

“Aw, man!” Steven exclaimed in dismay as the racoon jumped off the train with their food in tow. “Um, Amethyst? Could we maybe have some of your food?”

Of course, as the young Gem posed this question, Amethyst just so happened to be in the middle of dumping the contents of her bindle straight into her mouth all at once. “Huh?” she asked, her mouth full as she finished her food off. “Oh, uh… sorry, guys.”

“See? I knew this would happen,” Dipper remarked pointedly, taking a seat against a bale of hay indignantly.

“I guess our bindles couldn’t fit enough for us and a racoon…” Steven sighed, cringing at the sound of his own rumbling stomach.

“Why didn’t you just bring your backpack?” Amethyst asked caustically.

The young Gem glanced away, somewhat embarrassed that he hadn’t thought of that. “…It wouldn’t fit in my bindle?” he said quickly before climbing up onto a nearby stack of hay. “Maybe I can just sleep the hunger off. Just like the No-Home Boys.”

“Good idea,” Dipper agreed, taking a different approach by just lying down on the floor of the car. However, he was only there for a moment before the train happened to bump rather roughly, resulting in him ultimately hitting his head against the hard metal floor. “Ow!” he exclaimed, sitting up and gingerly placing a hand against the now sore spot. “Ugh, why did I think that would be a good idea?!”

“You know,” Steven spoke up, having problems of his own as he tried his best to get comfortable on his hey bed. “I feel like I’ve been misled about hey. It always looks so soft in those illustrations, but it’s actually really scratchy.” Of course, the train happened to bang violently yet again, causing sending one of the stacked hay bales tumbling right down on the young Gem and irritating him more. “Amethyst, I wanna go home now.”

“Same here,” Dipper sighed, rising to stand. “I hate to say it, but I think going home and finally facing Wendy would be easier than having to live like… well, this. N-not that I’d actually do that if we do go home, but still.”

“Pfft,” Amethyst scoffed, turning away from the boys as she sulked over to the edge of the train car and took a seat. “You guys need to get over yourselves. Have you ever tried maybe not being such wimps?”

“…Doesn’t running away technically make us all wimps?” Dipper asked somewhat hesitantly.

“Well either way, I think I’m done being a No-Home Boy,” Steven said as they both headed over to sit down next to the purple Gem.

“Not me,” Amethyst said apathetically, staring out at the passing scenery.

“Amethyst, you don’t honestly expect us to be able to last out here forever, do you?” Dipper asked with sudden concern.

“I dunno, maybe,” the purple Gem shrugged. “You might if you learn to toughen up a bit.”

“But… I’m sure Garnet and Pearl and Mr. Pines and Mabel are worried sick about us,” Steven pointed out with a frown. “They’re probably wondering when we’re coming home right-”

“That’s not my home,” Amethyst cut the young Gem off sharply.

“Huh?” Steven asked, confused.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Dipper interjected. “You’re from Homeworld.”

“That’s not my home either!” the purple Gem exclaimed harshly, apparently even more offended by such an idea.

Dipper and Steven were both silent for a moment as they exchanged a puzzled look over how angry and indirect Amethyst was being. After all, if she considered neither Homeworld nor the temple to be her home, then where else was there? “Then… where are you from?” Dipper asked, voicing the question they were both wondering.

A sudden, almost dark smirk crossed the purple Gem’s features upon being posed this question. “I’ll show you.”

The trio continued riding the rails for quite some time, and all the while, Amethyst refused to answer any of the boys’ questions about where they were heading. All the while, she only kept up a sly, mysterious grin until she prompted Steven and Dipper to disembark from the train at last, only after they had traveled several hours. Yet even after jumping off the train, they still had to walk several miles before even coming close to their supposed destination. And as they did, both boys couldn’t help but be the slightest bit disconcerted upon a first glance.

Amethyst was eagerly leading the way into what seemed to be a high canyon, with dark walls that towered high into the dark fog shrouding the area. As they got closer to it, Dipper and Steven both couldn’t help but notice that all vegetation and natural life seemed to abruptly end, giving way to dry, desolate earth. The entire place already had quite an eerie air to it as almost every sound they made seemed to echo back at them. But even still, Amethyst bounded towards it with an elated smile, as though there was nothing unnerving about the area at all.

“Here we are!” the purple Gem chuckled as they stood before the entrance to the canyon. “Welcome to the Kindergarten! What do you guys think?”

“Um… It’s great!” Steven exclaimed with something of a forced smile, not entirely sure of what to think.

“Uh, Amethyst?” Dipper spoke up, aptly confused. “This… isn’t a kindergarten.”

“What? Yeah, it is,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “I mean, there’s no flashy sign or anything, but this is the real deal, for sure. Believe me, I would know.”

“No, I mean-” Dipper cut himself off with something of an exasperated sigh before trying again. “Look, a kindergarten is like… well basically, it’s a school for really little kids. And this place… Well, this place couldn’t be any further than that.”

“Oh what, you don’t believe me?” the purple Gem challenged. “Then I guess I’ll just have to show you. C’mon!” Amethyst laughed mischievously once more as she grabbed both boys by the wrist and dragged them into the canyon itself. Of course, the area became even more unsettling as they got a good look at it. Not only was the depths of the canyon expectedly dark and devoid of much color, but what was quite odd was the fact that its walls were dotted with thousands upon thousands of deep, almost human-shaped holes. Even stranger were the tall, drill-like machines that occasionally clung to the walls via spider-esque legs. The boys couldn’t help but feel rather small compared to all of this as Amethyst led them through the vast gorge. Whatever this place was, it was far from undiscovered. Something, or someone had been here before.

But who?

“Ok, Amethyst, what is this place, really?” Dipper asked, finally too perplexed by it all to remain silent.

“It’s kinda where I’m from,” the purple Gem replied, shrugging.

“But… I thought Gems were from space?” Steven frowned, confused.

“Pearl and Garnet are,” Amethyst explained. “But I was made here on Earth. Like you two!”

“Wait, you’re from Earth?” Dipper asked, taken aback. “But how-”

“Don’t act so surprised, dude,” the purple Gem interrupted, smirking. “You know, the way you’re freaking out reminds me of how your uncle did the same thing when I brought him here a bunch of years ago.”

“Stan’s been here before?!” Dipper exclaimed, even more shocked by this information. “Then why has he never mentioned it to me or Mabel?”

“Maybe he just forgot?” Steven suggested.

“Nah, it’s because this place skeeved him out a little,” Amethyst laughed teasingly. “Don’t know why though. The Kindergarten’s where the party’s at. Oh, and check it out!” the purple Gem exclaimed with a delighted gasp. Without explaining, she ran ahead, hurrying up to a nearby boulder as the boys followed after her. “Oh man! I missed this guy!” she laughed, embracing the large stone. “Aw… It’s my climbing rock!”

“Uh, hello!” Steven greeted the climbing rock with an uncertain smile.

“Steven, that’s a rock,” Dipper deadpanned.

“Heck yeah it is!” Amethyst exclaimed brightly. “And over there-” she pointed to another nearby rock. “That’s the sitting rock! And that one was the rock that I kicked into two rocks!” With a warm laugh, the purple Gem scurried up the climbing rock, happily sitting atop of it as she grinned down at the boys. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“So, how long did you live here?” Steven asked curiously.

“For a while, I guess,” Amethyst shrugged. “At least until I met your mom and the others.” Still clearly enjoying being back in such a familiar place, the purple Gem flopped off the climbing rock and ran further into the Kindergarten. While Steven was more than eager to follow her, Dipper was much more hesitant about it, especially as the purple Gem rushed towards one of the massive drill machines.

“Whoa,” he gasped, unnerved by the sheer size of it as it towered over them all. “What is that thing?”

“Eh, it’s just some old Gem junk from a long time ago,” the purple Gem remarked dismissively. “It’s probably busted by now.”

Despite Amethyst’s assurance, neither Dipper nor Steven were really that allayed. Even if they didn’t know what these machines were for, they did know that they were not only abundant here, but quite sinister-looking with its several sharp, menacing points all aimed straight for the ground. Still, the boys only had enough time to exchange a nervous glance before Amethyst called over to them once again.

“Hey, Steven, Dipper! Look!” the purple Gem’s smile was huge as she stood beside one of the many holes in the cliff side. “Here’s the hole I came out of!”

“What?!” both boys exclaimed in equal surprise and confusion, hurrying over to the hole themselves.

“It’s my hole,” she reiterated, chuckling at their bewilderment. “Look! It’s me siiiiizeeed…” Amethyst flashed a wry grin as she inserted herself into the hole, which was indeed, her exact size and shape. Needless to say, both Steven and Dipper were startled as she slid back into the hole seamlessly, before sitting down and letting out a contented sigh. “Ah, its still got that good hole smell.”

“Let me get this straight,” Steven interrupted, trying to make sense of all this as him and Dipper peered into the hole. “You came out of this hole?”

“This is where I was made, dude,” Amethyst nodded. “One day just… pop! Right outta this hole.”

“Hold on,” Dipper shook his head, his thoughts running at a mile a minute over all these sudden revelations. “So that’s how Gems are made? You guys just… come out of the ground?! Well, actually, I guess that makes sense, seeing as how gem gems are made, but still—this is crazy!”

“Yep! That’s exactly what Stan said too,” the purple Gem laughed, amused.

“So… if this is your hole…” Steven began anxiously, backing away to get a better look at the hundreds of other holes on that wall alone. “What about all the other holes?”

The young Gem’s question was left unanswered as the nearby warp pad suddenly light up, startling the boys as they spun around to face the pair that had just arrived.

“Oh, look! There they are, Pearl!” Mabel shouted with apt relief, smiling widely as she waved down to Dipper and Steven.

“Finally,” the white Gem sighed in relief, though she wasn’t as quick to join Mabel in climbing off the warp pad and heading down to meet them. Instead, she remained stationary for just a moment, taking an uneasy glance around the Kindergarten before leaping down herself.

“Great,” Amethyst remarked crossly as she climbed out of her hole. “Here comes the fun police…”

“Me and Pearl have been looking like, everywhere for you guys! I’m so glad we finally found you!” Mabel exclaimed as she locked both boys into a tight hug before suddenly smacking them both against the back of the head.

“Ow!” Dipper shot his sister a glare. “Mabel, what-”

“That’s for running away without telling me, you dummies!” she pouted angrily. “I was worried sick about both of you! The least you could have done was tell me about this. Then I could have come along and joined in on the fun too. I would have even packed us some cookies for the road!”

“Well, they probably wouldn’t have lasted that long anyway thanks to the racoon…” Steven frowned.

“Trust us, Mabel, life on the road isn’t as fun as it sounds,” Dipper remarked somewhat dryly. “We just-”

“I don’t wanna hear a peep outta you, Mr. ‘Runs-Away-So-He-Doesn’t-Have-To-Face-His-Problems’,” Mabel asserted firmly. “I know you only did this so you wouldn’t have to talk to Wendy, even though that’s what you need to do!”

“Oh, come on!” Dipper exclaimed, exasperated. “Mabel, that’s not even what this is about!”

“Really?” Steven asked, confused. “Because I thought you said that you weren’t going to talk to Wendy, even if we-”

“Steven!” Dipper harshly cut him off. Fortunately though, before their conversation could really continue, Pearl intervened, already more than prepared to give Amethyst a proper scolding.

“Oh, I’m so relieved to see you boys are alight,” the white Gem sighed, somewhat relieved. “Garnet said you’d all be here, but I didn’t want to believe it. Amethyst, what were you thinking bringing Steven and Dipper to a… Kindergarten?”

“Kindergarten?” Mabel interrupted with an intrigued smile. “Wait, if this is a kindergarten, then where are all the toys and milk cartons and adorable little kids?”

“It’s not that kind of kindergarten, Mabel,” Dipper quickly noted to her in a whisper.

“Well, Amethyst?” Pearl asked, looking to the purple Gem caustically. “Care to explain?”

“I dunno,” Amethyst scowled, kicking a nearby pebble. “We were in the neighborhood. And hey, don’t act like I’m the only bad example. You brought Mabel here, after all.”

“O-oh, well that’s only because she wanted to come looking for the boys with me and she wouldn’t take no for an answer!” Pearl protested, flustered. “Right, Mabel?”

“That’s right!” Mabel quipped. “And I’m glad I came because now I get to hear about all of this cool mysterious Gem stuff going on here too!”

“Pearl?” Steven interjected apprehensively. “Was Amethyst really… made here?”

The white Gem sucked in a sharp breath upon hearing this question before turning back to Amethyst, even more aghast this time. “How much did you tell them?”

“What? You mean about the bad thing?” Amethyst asked, her voice a whisper at first, though it steadily started to raise in volume the angrier she got. “How this bad place is where bad Gems came to grow more bad Gems? Is that what you’re talking about?!”

“No way. They grew other Gems here?!” Dipper exclaimed, completely stunned by this information.

“Cool! Where are they?!” Mabel grinned excitedly, glancing around for any other Gems.

“Thankfully, not here,” Pearl said harshly. “Amethyst, none of them are ready to hear about this!”

“A-about what?” Steven asked worriedly.

“Oh, but don’t worry, you guys,” Amethyst faked a smile as she pressed past the white Gem and stepped closer to the kids. “Everything’s just fine now.”

“Amethyst,” Pearl interjected rigidly, but even so, the purple Gem ignored her.

“It all worked out. We won!” she continued, pressing closer to them as she failed to notice their shared growing confusion and fear.

“Stop,” the white Gem pressed again, yet Amethyst kept on going, too unhinged to stop now.

“And we shut this place down so the Earth would be safe from parasites like me!”

“Amethyst! That’s enough!” Pearl shouted, putting herself between the kids and the purple Gem.

“Pearl?” Steven spoke up, his expression awash with concern. Likewise, the twins stood alongside him just as confounded and troubled. None of them really understood what the unfolding contention between the two Gems was truly about, but what they all immediately figured was that it was more than any of them could have bargained for.

“Oh, kids, I’m so sorry,” Pearl sighed, kneeling down to their level. “None of you should have ever had to see this horrible place.”

Amethyst’s burning scowl deepened upon hearing this, her gem starting to shine as she let out a low growl. “Then why don’t you just leave?!” the purple Gem exploded, her whip lashing out of her gem and coiling around Pearl tightly. The kids gasped in shared shock as Amethyst tossed the white Gem towards the nearest drill machine, sending her crashing into it first and then into the ground roughly. “Admit it! I’m just an embarrassment to you!” Amethyst shouted, swinging her whip at Pearl once more. This time the white Gem managed to dodge it, though it did cut a swath into the leg of the machine as Pearl easily flipped away.

Of course, all three of the kids were quite alarmed upon seeing the purple Gem’s sudden, violent outburst. Which was why they all hurried to intervene before things could get too out of hand. “Amethyst, wait!” Steven exclaimed desperately, reaching for his guardian. “You can’t do this!”

“Y-yeah!” Mabel agreed earnestly. “You guys are friends! You shouldn’t fight!”

Amethyst said nothing in response as she instead scooped all three of the kids up at once, shapeshifting another hand to help her do so, before tossing them aside as though they were nothing. The trio were fine as they landed a few feet away, all of them cushioning the fall for each other, but still shaking them up nonetheless. “Uh, guys?” Dipper said with a frown. “Maybe we shouldn’t get involved in this…”

“No way!” Steven exclaimed with determination. “We gotta stop this before they hurt each other!”

“Amethyst!” Pearl shouted as she rose to stand, summoning her spear as she did so. “I don’t want to fight you!”

“I wouldn’t wanna fight me neither!” the purple Gem hissed before jumping and curling into a ball and rolling towards Pearl at a frightening speed. The white Gem rolled out of the way just in time as she sent a barrage of energy blasts at Amethyst from the tip of her spear. The purple Gem outmanurvered them, rolling along the side of the canyon until she leapt high into the air, hurling her whip down at Pearl brutally. Fortunately the white Gem saw this coming and slammed her foot down on the whip, slicing it cleanly in half.

As this skirmish continued, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel rushed into it once again, all three of them hoping they could somehow convince the fighting Gems to calm down. “You guys, stop it!” the young Gem begged. Before either of the twins could make an appeal, however, Amethyst counteracted them, mostly out of frustration.

“Stay out of it!” she shouted, tossing a long whip at the three of them. It hit its mark, twisting around the trio, tying them together, and sending them roughly plummeting to the ground.

“Aw, I thought for sure that would work!” Mabel exclaimed as they all tried to wriggle free.

“Maybe we should try coming up with an actual plan this time, you guys?” Dipper suggested pointedly. Still, they didn’t really have a lot of time for that as the duel between the two Gems waged on.

Pearl launched herself at Amethyst, smoothly bending out of the path of a lash of her whip before leaping over her and landing a heavy kick to her face. The purple Gem cried in pain as she landed, glaring up at Pearl, who stood ready for her next attack, her spear spinning deftly in her hand. “Amethyst, stop this!” she urged firmly. “You can’t beat me!”

“I… don’t… CARE!” Amethyst practically screamed in raw fury, letting that scream continue as she pulled two more whips out of her gem. Both of them managed to latch onto Pearl’s spear as soon as she lashed them out at her. “I’m not gonna let you stand there and remind me of everything I hate about myself!”

With another battle cry, the purple Gem shook her whips, sending two violet bursts of energy running down them and towards Pearl. The resounding explosion shook the Kindergarten, startling the kids and sending Pearl flying backwards into the drill machine. The white Gem landed hard on the ground below and struggled to pick herself up even as Amethyst approached her.

“I never asked for it to be this way,” the purple Gem lamented, heavy tears streaming down her face. She let out a choked sob as she continued, her voice rough and ragged with far too many emotions to count, even if most of them could be summed up by pain. “I never asked to come out here! I never asked to be one of them! I never asked to be made!”

Pearl was stunned into silence upon hearing this, her expression awash with deep worry and sympathy for her teammate. She had spent so many years around the purple Gem, but even so, she could have never guessed that her feelings of remorse and regret for something that wasn’t even really her fault ran so very deep. “Amethyst…” she muttered softly, wanting to say so much but not even knowing where to start. Fortunately though, the kids intervened just in time.

“Amethyst, please, no more!” Steven pleaded as him, Dipper, and Mabel rushed to stand between the quarreling Gems. Tears were forming in the distraught young Gem’s eyes, and that alone was enough to make Amethyst stay her hand before lashing her whip out at Pearl once again. “I know you’re upset, but I can’t stand to watch you two hurt each other.”

“Seriously, can’t you two just… talk this out or something?” Dipper asked anxiously. “It’s bound to be easier than just beating each other senseless.”

The purple Gem opened her mouth to shoot back a reply, but before she could get anything out, a sudden loud creak from above startled them all. With a gasp, everyone looked up to see the drill machine they were gathered under begin to quickly topple over on them as its sliced leg suddenly snapped in two. Acting quickly, Steven summoned a large bubble around himself, Pearl, and the twins to shield them from the impending fallout. Unfortunately, there was still someone who was just outside of the bubble’s protection.

“Amethyst!” Steven gasped, horrified as the purple Gem stood just a few feet outside his bubble. However, Amethyst simply looked to the kids for a moment, frightened and ashamed, before she abruptly turned on her heel and took off in the opposite direction.

“Amethyst!” the young Gem cried again, the twins joining him this time as they all shared the same sheer panic for the purple Gem’s safety. “Amethyst! Amethyst!” All of these please fell on deaf ears however, as Amethyst simply kept on running. Right until the machine came crashing down on them all.

Thankfully, the bubble did its job and kept them safe from the falling machine. Still, Pearl and the kids were hardly relieved as the dust began to settle and they saw that Amethyst was nowhere in sight. “Amethyst!” Steven sobbed, dropping the bubble and running forward as Dipper and Mabel hurried after him.

“Amethyst, where are you!?” Mabel called, immensely concerned.

“Wait, do you guys hear that?” Dipper asked, catching onto the very faint noise of what sounded like sobbing nearby.

“The hole!” Steven gasped, rushing over to Amethyst’s hole, which was blocked off by a heap of rubble. Pearl slowly rose to stand as she watched the kids quickly work together to remove the blockade, all the while keeping her distance out of both dread and guilt.

“Amethyst!” the kids exclaimed in surprised unison upon seeing the purple Gem huddled deep inside her hole. Her back was turned to them and her shoulders were shaking as she kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself, but fortunately she was unscathed. At least physically.

“Go away,” Amethyst ordered bitterly. “I’m bad and you guys shouldn’t be around me.”

“What?” Steven asked, confused. “That’s ridiculous!”

“Yeah!” Mabel nodded in sincere agreement. “Amethyst, you’re like, one of the coolest Gems we know! Then again, we only know four Gems, but still, you’re great!”

“And hey, even though things are kind of… rough right now, we still had a fun time hanging out with you today, even if we almost died several times. Right, Steven?” Dipper asked, sending the purple Gem an encouraging grin.

“We did!” the young Gem nodded insistently. “Look, Amethyst, we don’t really know what any of this means, but-”

“Yeah, you don’t,” Amethyst interrupted crossly, still not turning to face any of them. “Cause if you did, then you wouldn’t be talking to me.”

“Oh boy,” Dipper sighed diffidently as they backed away from the hole a bit. “We’re really not getting anywhere with her, are we?”

“Hold on. I have an idea,” Steven said, turning to the nearby white Gem. “Pearl, you gotta get in here. You have to help us.”

“But-” Pearl tried to protest, but the kids weren’t having it this time.

“You have to talk to her,” Steven insisted, his tone dead serious.

“Maybe if you do, then she’ll feel better and come out!” Mabel added with a reassuring smile.

The white Gem let out a long sigh at this, steeling herself for the challenging task ahead of her. “Y-you’re right…” Pearl agreed, glancing away. “As… difficult as all of this is, I suppose avoiding it really isn’t helping anything…”

“Hey, doesn’t that sound familiar, bro-bro?” Mabel asked, elbowing her brother.

“Mabel, now’s really not the time for this!” Dipper exclaimed in a harsh whisper, but even so he couldn’t deny she was right. Even though what Pearl and Amethyst were going through was vastly different from what transpired between him and Wendy, not confronting the problem was only making things worse. After all, regret and remorse could never truly be alleviated by either fleeing or fighting; time and talking were the only things that could ever really reconcile them.

Pearl took in a deep breath as she slid into the hole and took a seat next to Amethyst. Neither of them said anything for a long moment, especially as the purple Gem kept her back turned and her posture small and closed off. After what seemed like ages of tension however, the white Gem finally spoke. “Amethyst…” she began, reaching her hand out towards the purple Gem before hesitantly pulling it back. “Amethyst, I had no idea you’ve been upset about this.”

“What?!” Amethyst spat harshly, finally turning around as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. “You had no idea?! This is like, my entire existence!” she shouted, motioning to the hole around them. “You wanna pretend like none of this ever happened! You think I’m just a big mistake!”

The white Gem gasped upon hearing this, moved with sadness for the grief her teammate was going through. “No, no!” she protested. “Amethyst, you’re not the mistake. You’re just the byproduct of a… big mistake…” Pearl trailed off, blushing in embarrassment over her awkward misstep of words. Amethyst shot her a cold glare at this while the kids all shook their heads, knowing that this wasn’t going as well as they had hoped for. “No, that’s not-” Pearl tried again, recollecting herself. “I… I just never thought of this as you. None of this is your fault. You didn’t build this place.”

Amethyst paused upon hearing this, knowing that nobody, not even Rose, had ever told her something like this before. It was true that she knew she had no control over the place she had emerged or how, she had always carried some level of guilt towards it all. After all, the very reason why the Crystal Gems existed at all was to end Homeworld’s Earth-harming mission, a mission that had the Kindergarten at its very heart and soul. But since she had come from the Earth Kindergarten, the purple Gem had always believed that she had been a least a part of the problem, a problem that could have very well destroyed the planet she now stood to protect if it had been left unchecked. Yet now, Pearl was telling her that what had happened here, what could have been, was not her burden to bear. And perhaps, Amethyst realized, it really never was in the first place.

“I-I’m sorry, Amethyst,” Pearl said with absolute sincerity. “I hope you can forgive me. You’re the one good thing that came out of this mess. I always thought you were proud of that.” With a gentle smile, the white Gem extended her hand out towards her teammate. Amethyst didn’t take it right away, but when she finally did, she wiped her tears away and allowed Pearl to help her out of her hole. The purple Gem refused to so much as even look back at it as she left it, knowing that she didn’t need to cling onto the past or her origins any longer. She was a Crystal Gem now. As far as she was concerned, she always would be.

And that was enough for her.

The kids all let out collective sighs of relief as Amethyst and Pearl emerged from the hole together, apparently having reconciled. The purple Gem still tried to come across as cold and stoic after everything, but as she looked to Pearl, she found that she could no longer keep her overwhelming emotions contained any longer. With a heavy sob, Amethyst enveloped Pearl in a tight, desperate embrace, one that startled the white Gem, though she still smiled softly as she tearfully returned it all the same.

“Aw, they’re friends again!” Mabel gushed with a happy smile.

“Yeah…” Steven nodded with a contented grin. “And you know? I have a feeling things will be even better between them from now on.”

“Even better…” Dipper repeated to himself, his eyes widening in realization. After everything that had happened between the two Gems and how potentially disastrous their falling out had been, he now knew for certain that he couldn’t very well go on avoiding Wendy any longer. He had to stop running and face this problem, no matter how difficult or awkward it might be and no matter what might happen. And maybe at the end of it all, things would somehow turn out to be even better.

“Are you kids ready to head home?” Pearl asked with a grin as her and Amethyst’s hug disbanded.

“Yes!” Steven exclaimed brightly, running to the warp pad. “Let’s go home so Steven can sleep in a bed!”

“Yeah, I think I’ve had enough of life on the road for one day…” Dipper remarked with a tired smirk.

“Seriously though, if you guys ever decide to do this again, please let me know!” Mabel quipped somewhat jokingly as they all climbed onto the warp pad.

“Somehow I doubt we’ll be doing this again…” Pearl noted, giving Amethyst a sly grin, which she softly returned.

With no need to linger any longer in the Kindergarten, the group warped away, leaving the decrepit place dull, dark, and empty once more. Yet even still, somewhere off in the distance, ominous clanging could be heard echoing through the canyon, almost as if it was the very echo of the Gems who had built it centuries ago.

By the next day, everything had returned to normal. Or at least, as normal as things got, all things considered. Garnet was quite satisfied to hear that her teammates had reconciled their differences and she professed her belief that they were well on their way to a much better relationship in the future, much to Steven’s delight. Even though Dipper told her not to, Mabel of course divulged the full details of her brother’s escapade to their uncle, though fortunately Stan was hardly mad, seeing as how he had been on the run from various individuals, as well as the law itself, countless times in the past. Still, not everything was completely resolved quite yet. But that was something Dipper intended on fixing as he sat waiting outside the shack, perking up a bit as he saw a certain cashier come in for her shift.

“Wendy!” he called, getting up and running over to her.

“Dipper!” Wendy exclaimed with a surprised, yet relieved grin. “There you are, dude! I was looking all over for you yesterday!”

“W-wait, really?” Dipper asked, confused.

“Well, duh! My friends told me that they gave you, Steven, and Amethyst a ride out of town yesterday because you all were ‘on the run’ or something?”

“Oh, right…” Dipper frowned, a bit embarrassed.

“Gotta say, that’s pretty gutsy of you, man,” Wendy remarked with a wry grin which quickly faded. “But at the same time… it could have been pretty dangerous out there. So I’m glad to see you’re back safe and sound. Hobo living… probably isn’t for you.”

“Yeah, it really wasn’t…” Dipper said with a halfhearted smile. So far, this conversation was going well enough, but at the same time, he had yet to bring up what he knew he had to get off his chest. Which was why he took in a deep breath, pushed his insecurities away, and simply went through with it. Just as Pearl had with Amethyst. “So uh, Wendy? Can I talk to you about… something?”

“Anything, dude,” Wendy nodded with a smile.

“Well I… I, um, just wanted to tell you that… I’m sorry for what happened last week,” he began somewhat hesitantly. “You know, for how I kinda ended up breaking you and Robbie up?”

“Oh what? You’re still worried about that?” Wendy asked with a suddenly concerned frown. “Don’t be, dude. I’m really not even that torn up about it even more and you shouldn’t be either.”

“What?”

“I said its ok,” the cashier reassured, kneeling down to his level. “I mean, yeah it totally sucks that that happened, but like, you did the right thing. I’m glad you told me the truth about what Robbie was doing; it really showed me that you care about me, which, if you ask me, is pretty awesome.”

“B-but you were really upset,” Dipper interjected. “And I thought you-”

“Well of course I was upset at first,” Wendy interrupted. “But I’ve had time to get over it. I’m sorry if how I blew up over it made you feel bad or like you did something wrong. Because like I said, you didn’t.”

“So… so we’re cool then?” Dipper asked hopefully, relief already starting to fill him that everything would, in fact, be even better than before.

“Yeah, man,” Wendy smirked, exchanging a fist bump with him. “We’re totally cool.”

As this touching exchange unfolded, Steven and Mabel eavesdropped from around the corner of the shack, mostly out of curiosity and concern for Dipper. Still, they were both as relieved as he was to see that everything had turned out alright in the end after all.

“Well, it looks like Dipper had nothing to worry about after all,” Mabel concluded with a content grin. “I can’t wait to rub it in his face that I was right all along later.”

“Yeah, its pretty great,” Steven agreed, smiling. “Pearl and Amethyst made up, Dipper and Wendy made up, and I learned an important lesson: that sleeping on hay is really overrated.”

The pair shared an amused laugh at this, one that concluded as Mabel departed to go take pictures of Lion and Waddles as they chased each other around the yard. Steven prepared to join her, but even so, he did stop short upon stealing a glance up at the temple as it peered over the trees in the distance. The young Gem’s smile faded as he looked to his home, the six-armed statue he had always known suddenly seeming strangely alien somehow. The revelation that the Gems were not of the Earth was one thing, and largely Steven had already come to terms with that by now. But the fact that Gems came to Earth and endangered it by creating more of their own… he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that yet and he honestly wasn’t sure when he would be.

Still, Steven took solace in the fact that he had nothing to worry about. The Gems had made it clear that they refused to let any of their kind return to Earth and use it for their destructive purposes. There was no chance of Homeworld Gems coming back and continuing their treacherous work. As Garnet had said, the planet was safe. Their home was safe. And so it would remain as long as they were around to protect it.

Right?

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