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#but also i’m so excited to finally be the one giving back bc i swear the ppl older than me have been INSTRUMENTAL in having a good time
poeciles · 10 months
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unreal that i’m about to move in for my senior year of college i swear to god i had my freshman move in last week
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runningfrom2am · 9 months
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in this life or the next
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summary: It's the seventy-fifth annual Hunger Games, and you were just unlucky enough to get picked; but lucky enough for this Quarter Quell to feature pre-selected teams. You get paired up with District One's pride and joy, the one and only Rafe Cameron.
pairing: rafe x fem!reader
wc: 15k (oh my LORD)
tags/warnings: its the hunger games so like... yeah... violence and gore and stuff. definitely swearing, spoilers for the og Hunger Games movie I guess (but also not bc i changed it up a bit- you'll see), reader has a special talent that i won't spoil here, Rafe is lowkey a dick at the beginning, Ward being a shitty dad (what's new). also this isn't thoroughly edited bc.. its 15k words and i'm lazy.
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a/n: hello lovelies!! oh my gosh i have been slowly chipping away at this for actual literal months, and i am so proud of how it turned out!! i’m really glad i could finally post it by my birthday!! (i’m 23 wtf??)
thank you so much if you're going to put in the time to read this, but it honestly means a lot to me that you've made it this far. reblogs and likes would be so appreciated and let me know your thoughts in the replies! i really, really hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. let me know if you want a part two of what happens post games, bc i think i left it at a minor baby sized cliffhanger. anyway, i’m off to eat cake now! enjoy!
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Staring blankly out at the crowd in front of you, you attempt to process the echoing of your heartbeat in your ears.
"I'd like us to give a round of applause for our brave, brave tributes this year, and wish them the best of luck in this year's quarter quell!" Your attention is drawn to the woman next to you, the District Five escort, Opal, dressed head to toe in bright yellow. A universally happy color- what a joke.
The crowd is mostly silent and you can't bear the thought of even glancing in the direction of your parents. You turn silently as you're ushered back into the building from the stage, tripping slightly over your feet as the shock sets in. People are talking, possibly to you, but you can hardly hear a thing. You almost made it. You were almost eighteen- one more year and you would have been free.
You were granted the briefest of goodbyes to your family, but you were tempted to even turn that down. An action you regret not taking as your parents walk into the room, your mother with tears already coating her cheeks and your father trying to keep a strong resolve for you and your siblings.
"We'll see you soon, Bug. Remember we love you," He whispers into your hair as you sob into his shoulder. You know he doesn't necessarily mean in this lifetime.
Your tunnel vision settles back in as you're walked out of the room, glancing one last time over your shoulder only to see your dad's shoulders shaking from his silent cries as he turns his back to you.
You are quickly pushed onto the train taking you out of District Five, ignoring the other three tributes and your mentors as they talk. You just stare out the window with tired, red eyes and say a silent goodbye to the home you're already sure you'll never see again.
"Y/N..?" The girl next to you says, tapping you on the shoulder and making you jump.
"Hm?" You hum your acknowledgment, looking at the girl beside you. She's only a year older than you, and you went to school together for years; Maisie, you remember.
"I just wanted to make sure you hear them," Maisie whispers, gesturing to Opal as she starts to explain what the premise of the games is this year.
"So," she claps her hands together, clad in tacky yellow gloves. "I'm sure you have noticed that this year there are four of you, and you'll each be paired up with another tribute to compete. Not necessarily from your own District, but, anything is possible, I suppose. The exciting news is that there's a possibility for two winners this year! You and your teammate will be given a score throughout the games, and if your score as the final two is above ten, you will both be crowned victors!" The woman says excitedly- like it's a good thing.
"And if we don't have over ten?" The boy sitting across from you asks flatly.
"Well... the games shall continue," Opal explains vaguely, but you know what that means. You've seen it before.
"Okay, well, how do we get a good score?" The boy asks.
"I-" The escort starts, hesitance clear in her tone as she's quickly interrupted.
"You kill people," Your female mentor answers. She's leaning her elbows on the end of the table, standing with a knife in her hand, spinning it around like it's some kind of toy.
Your eyes drop from her form, staring down at the table in front of you, suddenly remembering your glass of water and quickly grabbing it when you realize your mouth has gone completely dry just from the idea of what's to come.
You arrive at the Capitol in the middle of the night and despite this fact, the crowds are still there. You didn't expect this, even though you've seen it on the beat-up television in your living room every year. It feels less real, somehow, when you're the one getting pushed through the crowd, not knowing what to do besides give awkward smiles to people yelling your name.
Your room is beautiful. You've never seen anything like this, but you can fully customize it at will with a remote, and this level of technology fascinates you. You spend hours flicking through different images that can appear on the walls, surrounding you in another world. Exhaustion and the sound of an artificial thunderstorm put you to sleep with the remote still resting in your palm.
"Up, up, up, my dear! We've got a big day ahead!" Opal's cheery voice startles you awake from your less-than-cozy spot on the floor. "There's breakfast on the table then we've got to get you down to prep, so hurry up, please." She says, and just like that she's gone, no doubt off to wake the other District Five tributes in a similar fashion.
"You're going to be meeting your teammates for the first time today so you can train together- gosh isn't that just so exciting!" Opal claps as you all stand in the elevator. There's a silence that follows as you and Maisie just nod, not excited about the whole idea. You're about to meet someone who will either be spending the last days of your life with you, or be killing you themselves, and you're not fond of either.
"This way you'll get to train together first, which I do believe to be a very generous act on behalf of the game makers." She adds, making you roll your eyes. How considerate. The most you can hope for is someone who is capable, and preferably someone who isn't in the twelve to fifteen age range, having seen that there were several drawn from different districts.
You shift on your feet as you try to adjust to the uncomfortably tight catsuit they squeezed you into, covered in what must be sapphire and diamond rhinestones, pinching your skin with every slight movement. Gold accents line the seams of the suit, extending out into something that resembles wings and lightning bolts protruding from your back. District Five; power. You get it, but we're the diamonds necessary? You hardly take note of the varying outfits you're surrounded with from the other kids in your district, before Opal is guiding the four of you up the line of extravagant carriages you're meant to parade out on for the people of the Capitol to fawn over.
You take note of where all of the other tributes from Five are lead, guessing based on the order of carriages that Maisie got paired up with another girl from Eleven, and the boys somehow ended up paired together. There must be some sort of personal aspect to this decision, considering you have watched those two boys fight back home. You're last, and Opal looks at you excitedly as you follow her up, and up, and up- to the very front of the line.
"Surprise!" She grins, clapping excitedly as you approach the very first carriage. "Y/N, getting paired with a career is huge. Your odds are good already, your partner has trained his whole life- he even volunteered."
"Sucks for him." You mutter under your breath as you get closer, eyeing up the boy in front of you, wearing an almost matching outfit. All the rhinestones make sense now, blending power with luxury could only mean as much.
"Y/N Y/L/N, meet Rafe Cameron. He'll be your teammate in the games." She smiles as she introduces you.
"Hi." You say quietly, taking his hand as he holds it out to you to help you up onto the carriage.
"Hey." He mutters, avoiding your gaze. It's off to a rough start for him for sure, seeing he's being paired up with someone from an outlying district must be daunting, when for you it should be exciting. Rafe did volunteer, yes, but he doesn't want to risk any kind of attachment- despite what the people of the Capitol want for their entertainment. He wants to come out alive, he doesn't care so much about who he's with.
"Okay, Y/N, remember to smile, please." Opal reminds you and you nod, looking down at her as you hold onto the handle in front of you.
You promise her with a nod, willing to do almost anything at this point to win the favour of possible sponsors. Again, your odds look better next to a career on that front, as well.
Quickly everyone is cleared away from the horses and the carriages and you start moving, catching you off guard and you stumble a little, readjusting your grip on the railing. "Careful." Rafe says beside you, quick to reach out to steady you if you needed it. You think you see the smallest of smiles on his face, but that must have just been your own mind trying to find comfort in anything around you.
"I got it." You whisper, blushing slightly. You've been with your teammate for all of a minute, and you're already proving yourself to be clumsy.
The lights hit your eyes the same time all the cheering does, being the first carriage, it's already so loud you can hardly hear yourself think. You snap out of it quickly, plastering on a smile once you see your own face on a giant screen ahead of you, you don't even look like yourself anymore. Your eyes land on the screen adjacent to the one showing you, seeing Rafe as well. He's smiling too, clearly having headed Opal's advice, or his many years of training is getting to him and he's excited. You really don't know. Then his head turns, and you turn your head as well, making dead eye contact with him for only a moment before he's looking past you into the crowds, taking in the moment.
When you finally get out of the extremely public eye and back into the building you exited from, you feel like you can finally breathe again. Not fully, in the tight, rigid suit they had you dressed up in, but more than you realized you were with all that yelling in your ears and lights in your face.
"District Five, right?" Rafe asks you as you're both stepping down and you nod. "Jeez, you don't talk much, do you?" He follows up with, taking a water bottle from someone who's walking by with them.
"I talk." You reply quietly. "Just... not much to talk about at the moment."
"The shock? Yeah, that'll do it." He nods, taking a sip from the water bottle and holding it out to you. You shake your head and push it away, making him shrug. "Shitty bust when you're not a volunteer."
You just stare at him, taken off guard by the comment. "That being said..." He leans in closer to make sure no one else hears. "I've been waiting my whole life for this, so don't ruin it for me, yeah?"
You pull back away from him and just nod again, not wanting to get on his bad side already. He won't be the one to kill you, probably, but it would still be nice if you spent your final days without your teammate hating your guts. "Thanks, darling." He smirks, patting your shoulder and brushing past you to go to the elevators.
The next day, bright and early yet again, you have your first day of training. You're sure Rafe won't even need it, but you certainly will. Your mentor told you he will likely be using it to size up the other tributes, especially considering there is a staggering amount of them this year, and you will need to focus on survival skills. Only survival skills, if you had to pick one thing- and your mentor drove that into your head until it was all that was echoing in your mind when you entered the training center.
After the trainers speech which ironically tried to do the same thing, you beeline straight for the fire making station. You're shocked to see almost no one else listened, definitely none of the boys, mostly lining up to show off their physical strengths, likely to try and intimidate each other. You'd be lying if you said it wasn't working.
You look up as you hear echoing laughter coming from the other side of the room, eyes scanning over the wall lined with silhouette targets, and racks with an array of weapons before landing on your teammate, laughing away with the other career tributes over a joke you didn't hear. He's got a spear in one hand, leaning his weight on it as his head drops back with laughter. You shake your head to get back on task, rolling the rough wood in your palms in hopes of making a spark. Good to see at least one of you is having fun, especially in your final days.
After a few minutes you get it, sitting back into your calves where you were kneeling on the ground, taking a breath of relief as you're satisfied with your success. You glance around to see how others are doing, giving a small smile and wave to Maisie when you see her, reading a book about different edible plants and trying desperately to memorize every image. You watch as Rafe takes the same spear he was leaning on before, hurling towards one of the targets. A direct hit, right in the chest, slightly right of the centre. You jump a little at the sound it makes on impact, looking finally at the boy who threw it.
He's pacing, huffing and looking a little frustrated with himself. A little to the left would have been perfect, but it was a kill shot nonetheless. There would be no coming back from that, and you count yourself lucky that it likely won't be you in place of the target in the games.
You quickly put out your fire and try again, making sure you've got the hang of it. You'll sit here all day if you must. After three more successful attempts, you're satisfied for the day, deciding you'll return to that station tomorrow and try again. You get up and brush the dirt off your knees, trekking over to where they have supplies to make game traps. You've never done this before, but there's no better time to learn, especially since your teammate has shown no interest in survival skills so far today.
"What are you doing?" Suddenly Rafe is standing behind you, as you're once again kneeling on the ground attempting to get the trigger on your bladeless trap to work.
You jump a little, startled by someone talking to you. "Uh, trying to make a snare, I think." You answer, turning to look up at him.
"Looks good." He nods, crouching down next to you. "Uh, isn't there supposed to be a blade or a spearhead or something on that piece?" He says, pointing to it.
"Well, yeah, I just didn't want to stab myself by accident." You laugh slightly, trying the trigger again- and this time it works, snapping forward into his arm.
"Ouch, yeah, fair enough." Rafe chuckles, rubbing the spot on his arm where the wood made contact.
You just nod and begin to reset it to test it again. "What if you can't get any of this shit in the arena?" He asks.
"What, a stick?" You ask, hitting the trigger one more time, sending the stick into his arm again, which he had decided not to move.
"Ow! Yes, a stick. We don't know what it will look like." He rubs his arm, examining the trap you built closer now.
"Then we're screwed I guess." You joke, leaning back on your calves again, watching him dissect it piece by piece to figure out how it works.
"So, is this like, your thing?" Rafe asks, and you tilt your head at him as you think it over.
"My thing?" You ask, unsure entirely what he meant. "I've never made one before, if that's what you're asking."
"Really?" He seems shocked by this.
"Uh, yeah, really. Unfortunately for you, you got paired up with someone who has zero survival or combat skills."
Rafe looks at you, a smug grin crossing his features. "Ha ha, very funny." He clearly thinks you're joking, but you're definitely not.
"I'm serious." You say, confused as to why he doesn't believe you.
His smile falters, replaced with wrinkles of confusion on his forehead. "But- I just watched you look at the instruction book for no more than like, three seconds before sitting down to make this."
"And..?"
"If you've never done it before it's supposed to be harder than that."
"Well, I've seen other people do it on TV and stuff every year for like, ever." You shrug. "I've just got a good memory, I guess."
Rafe nods, looking at the deconstructed trap in front of him for a moment, thinking about the implications of this. How far does this go? Could he use it? He'd never dreamt of having to work in a team in his games, but maybe it would benefit him after all. "Come with me." He stands up, and you follow as he paces over to two big screens, covered with a large array of different symbols.
"Try this, I just want to see something." Rafe says, standing next to you with his arms crossed as you quickly look over the screen, reaching down toward the one in front of you. You notice quickly that the screens mirror each other, all the images placed in the same spots as they are above. You look up at your teammate briefly who nods at you and then you tap one, watching it disappear from both screens before you tap the matching symbol. It's a matching game.
Your eyes are locked on the top screen as you tap away at the bottom one, quickly making all the images disappear one by one. It takes you no more than a minute to get rid of them all, and then a timer appears on the screen replaying your every move in real-time. Forty-two seconds. Were you really going that fast?
"Neat." Rafe says to himself, nodding as he watches it replay on the screen. That was impressive, sure, but his mind is straining to find a practical implication for this in the arena. "Go back to survival stuff. Learn as much as you can." He settles on, turning and walking off back to where he was before, returning to combat training.
The four days of training fly by insanely fast, and that's likely due to your dread of what's to come. you've got through everything in survival no less than three times, and you're pretty sure last night you dreamt of plants and making a fire. Not surprisingly, Rafe has left you pretty much alone the whole time, but you did watch from a distance as he cycled through every weapon the training center had to offer, proving he's almost mastered every last one. Of course, with over ten years of training, anything less wouldn't make sense. What scares you is the other careers showing a similar skill level to that of your teammate, but he seems to be on good terms with them. Again, maybe this would be a good thing in the beginning of the games.
You sit down for your last day of making fires and fishing hooks, working solely on memory since day one, you're feeling pretty confident that the elements or exposure won't be what takes you out- but you don't know if that's a good thing or not. You just hope your death will be quick.
"Y/N, c'mere." Rafe is suddenly calling to you, motioning for you to join him in the combat area. Not seeing much of a choice, and not looking forward to another day of doing the same thing over and over, you listen.
You make your way over, avoiding the gaze of other tributes who are looking at you like you're about to make a fool of yourself. It's possible you are. "I want you to learn how to use this." He says as you walk up, holding out the handle of a knife to you.
You take it, turning the sharp blade over in your hand. "I thought you were the weapons master." You joke, looking up at him briefly.
"Well, I need you to make fires and shit so you have to stay alive somehow, and if we get separated or something I need to know you can at least defend yourself. These are good from a distance and up close, but remember that any weapon you have they can take and use against you. So keep distance whenever you can." He answers, pointing over to the target about fifteen feet away. "So, throw it."
You look over to where he was pointing, adjusting your grip on the handle as you nod, taking in the information he's dumping on you. He is probably right, especially since you don't think he plans on protecting you himself. Why would he? If you die, he can still win without you.
You lift your arm over your shoulder, closing one eye to narrow down your aim before throwing it hard towards the target, which the knife bounces off of and clatters to the ground. You and Rafe both turn at the same time to look at the group that's laughing at you, the clang of the metal on the cement echoing loudly in the vast space.
"Don't worry about them. They're not there." Rafe is quick to grab another one, handing it to you the same way. "Try again, this time, hold it like this..." He says, grabbing your hand and placing your fingers in the correct spots on the handle. "Keep your wrist tense and straight, don't flick it or anything. Yeah, like that." He nods, taking a step back.
You look over how you're holding it, committing the feeling and finger placement to memory before raising your arm again. You throw it again, and this time it sticks, but your aim is off and it ends up in the target's leg. You look over at Rafe, unsure if you're hoping for approval or just satisfaction. "That's perfect." He nods. "Not a death blow, but that'll buy you time to get away. which is all you need."
"Okay." You agree quietly.
"Would it help if you watched me?" He offered, already grabbing a new knife while you nod. "So, you want to follow through with the throw, your shoulders should end about here if you're doing it right. You get more power that way, and better aim." He explains, standing with one foot forward, parallel to the target.
You step back to watch his strategy, noting the way he held the blade and his form when he aimed to throw it. He lets it fly from his fingers as his shoulders fall forward, smirking to himself as it hits the bullseye circle, right in the chest.
"You got it?" He asks, standing up straight again. You nod in response and he's handing you yet another knife to try again.
You go back and forth for hours, not caring that you're keeping anyone else from practicing. You're not the best at it, but it's become muscle memory now, and every time it sticks, most of the time hitting the silhouette somewhere. You tried the moving targets briefly, the gold, pixelated figures running at you quickly. You were immediately overwhelmed, and Rafe ended up having to step in to help. He said after that the minimal skill you had would be good enough to get away, and that is all you would need. You just have to focus on that.
You didn't talk a lot, besides taking a few short breaks to gather the knives and his arrows as Rafe explained the pros and cons of every weapon they had present, showing you briefly how to use some of them. Mostly how to defend yourself against them. It's hard for him to sum up years of training in one day, but he's dead set on the idea that you won't need most of it- just having to focus on keeping the two of you sheltered and fed, he can handle the rest; hopefully.
You sit outside the training center next to Rafe, waiting for your name to be called. It was the youngest female tribute from his district first, so if you had to guess, you would be third and fourth to go, which doesn't buy you a lot of time to decide what to do to best show your skills.
"What are you gonna do?" You ask, whispering in the deathly quiet room.
"Huh?" Rafe hums, leaning closer to hear you better.
You clear your throat, before speaking this time, unsure if you were clear enough. "What are you gonna do? Like which skill?" You clarify.
"Oh, uh..." He mutters, adjusting how he's sitting as he thinks about what to say. "I'm just going to cycle through some different weapons, different distance targets, I think. My mentors want me to show like, a variety of what I can do."
You nod at this, making a mental note of that. Maybe you should do the matching game and then try the knives. Opal told you that you would be scored both individually, and as a team. You hope you won't bring down his score too much, since you know he's aiming high. You planned on going for a mid-level score, not to be seen as a threat but also not as an easy kill. A perfect six would be your ideal score. "What about you?" Rafe interrupts your thought process.
"I'm not sure." You answer honestly.
"You should do your survival stuff. That will improve our team score, if we show them we have strengths at both." Rafe suggests. That's not actually a bad idea. Your individual score will likely be lower, but that's a risk you're willing to take.
"Yeah, I'll do that."
You ended up scoring a six, the judges obviously not seeing you as any kind of threat. This is what you expected, though, and you were correct about your group score as well. Rafe and you together scored a ten. On his own, he scored a ten, so you hadn't affected it in the way you feared. This left you reeling over the idea of other tributes seeing you both as a threat as you stand in yet another extravagant dress, waiting in line to be called out for your interview. The games were tomorrow, and the last thing you wanted was to get in front of a crowd and subtly plead with them to let you live, to send you gifts, and to give you their sympathy.
So far it's been in the same order they called everyone for assessments yesterday, which means you would be next. Rafe stands behind you, arms crossed in a suit that looks more expensive than any you've seen back home in all of your life, but he looks comfortable in it. Your dress is once again covered in rhinestones, and your waist is cinched in so tight you can hardly breathe as it is, so you're not looking forward to going on stage.
"Our next tribute, welcome to the stage from District Five, Miss Y/N Y/L/N!" You hear the familiar voice of Caesar Flickerman calling you out and some guards usher you forward onto the stage, very briefly glancing over your shoulder at Rafe.
You're quick to smile as you turn back around, giving a small wave to the host and then out to the audience as they cheer for you. For a brief moment, you feel as if they don't plan on watching you die as early as tomorrow, you feel as if they're rooting for you. "Hi!" You say as you get closer and Caesar stands up to greet you, shaking your hand and giving you a quick hug before gesturing for you to sit down across from him.
You look around the large theatre, spotting every camera you can. Your family is out there watching, somewhere, and you know they'll see right through this show you have to put on. You wish they wouldn't. You can picture so vividly your living room back home, with your parents and siblings scattered across the couch and the floor watching you with bated breath, they can see you- and on some level, you can see them too.
"Miss Y/L/N. Thank you for being here." Caesar sighs, reaching out and patting your hand where it sits on the armrest next to you.
"Well, I didn't have any other plans for the night, so..." You shrug, making him laugh. Laughter echoes from the audience and you smile, hoping that your plan to win people over is working.
"What? A beautiful girl like you?" He asks after he's done laughing. "You weren't planning on spending some of your free time with your teammate?" As if you got even a minute of free time since you've been here.
"Well, I guess we'll never know." You chuckle, looking back at the boy where he stands in the wing, giving you a small smile.
"Now listen, Y/N, Rafe is..." He has to stop after mentioning his name as cheers erupt again, laughing as he waits for the audience to quiet down. "Your teammate is, as you may have guessed, a popular face in the Capitol right now. Are you feeling lucky about your pairing?"
Rafe crossed his arms as he watches intently, feeling smug about his odds, especially now knowing the Capitol's opinion of him. He knows his dad is back home watching, full of pride that his son has become a fan favourite.
"I am." You answer honestly. "He's very talented."
"And handsome, don't you think?"
"I mean, who am I to argue with the people?" You joke, waving your hand dismissively as you hear the cheers pick up again. "Besides, his looks won't save us. We will save ourselves." You add seriously.
Caesar nods in acknowledgment, showing that to an extent, he agrees with you. "Well, I hope that you are right, dear." He smiles, getting up to signal you've run out of time. You stand as well, taking his hand as he holds it up above your heads. "It was so lovely to meet you, and may the odds stay ever in your favor. Y/N Y/L/N, everyone!"
You smile and thank him quietly, waving to everyone with both hands as you walk across the stage to exit on the other side. You take a few deep breaths as you step into yet another waiting room, watching the screen as Rafe is called out right behind you.
Rafe sits down on the chair across from Caesar after his introduction, which allows a few moments for the audience to quiet down. He smiles proudly as he rests one of his feet on his other knee, bouncing his leg with anxiety. He hopes it's interpreted as excitement. "Rafe." Caesar smiles at him, sitting back down as well. "I'll be honest, I have been so excited to finally meet you."
"It's good to meet you too." Rafe grins, chuckling slightly at the few whistles he gets scattered from the crowd.
"You got a fabulous score, how are you feeling about that?"
"Really good, yeah. Obviously I've been waiting my whole life for this opportunity, so it feels amazing to see it all paying off." Rafe answers, focussing on keeping the confidence in his tone.
"We can tell, can't we?" Caesar laughs, riling up the audience again, making Rafe laugh to himself as he softly shakes his head. "Yeah, yeah. So, with all this planning you've been doing, how do you feel about getting paired up? You probably expected to be going in solo."
"I did, for sure, but I don't think this is a bad thing." Rafe admits.
"Oh, getting along well with your teammate?" Caesar asks, a hint of suggestion in his tone.
"Yeah, we get on really well." Rafe exaggerates your relationship a bit, knowing it will earn you more sponsors, and maybe keep other tributes away from you in the games. "At least I think we do, I'm not fully sure about her thoughts on me, though."
"You scored incredibly well together, despite Y/N having a fairly average score on her own. What are your thoughts and feelings on that?"
Rafe chuckles as he leans forward a bit, pointing out to the audience as he speaks. "Don't underestimate her based on the score. I won't give you any spoilers, but trust me, don't overlook her. She's got as good a shot as any of us. Maybe better."
Caesar makes a surprised expression as he nods. "Well okay! Does she have some sort of secret weapon we should be worried about?" He chuckles, gripping the armrests and looking around as the audience laughs.
Rafe just shrugs in response, smirking slightly, which you can tell the audience just eats up. You're trying to decide if this is good or bad for you, though, as you watch, gnawing at your nails in anticipation as you stare at the screen.
"Okay, alright, don't spoil anything then." Caesar laughs. "It'll make for a better show, and I can get behind that."
After a moment of waiting for the cheers to die down, Caesar speaks up again. "Rafe, if I can ask, I know your father has a lot of influence in your district- how is he feeling about your selection for the games?"
You furrow your brow a little bit as you look at the screen, finally learning something interesting about your teammate. If he's from a prominent family in District One of all places, that would certainly explain his attitude. Rafe, on the other hand, doesn't want to talk about his father at all- but of course they would bring him up.
"Yeah, of course." Rafe replies, shifting in his seat. "He's thrilled, it's a huge honour to be here, and to be the first out of his children to be chosen is really special to me. I just hope I can make him and my sisters proud, he's always encouraged us to volunteer."
"I'm sure that you will." Caesar smiles at him. "I hope I will have the honour of hosting one of your sisters on this stage one day, as well."
Your stomach churns just watching this. How can any father who loves his children want this fate for them? This was your father's worst nightmare. You watch as Rafe nods with a smile, and you can see behind his eyes that he doesn't want that, not at all.
The audience cheers as they both stand up, shaking hands before Rafe leaves the stage, a cocky smirk on his face as he waves and winks at the audience. Before Rafe makes it down to the waiting room, you're grabbed an escorted out, heading for the elevator back to your room.
You can't eat, but you know you should. This will likely be your last meal for a while. You decide on just taking a large bowl of fruit and toast to your room, trying to get it down slowly with all the nerves, while you have a bath. Your parents never let you eat in the bath. It's hard to get out knowing this is likely the last bath you'll ever have.
The morning goes by in a blur, you feel Opal's arms around you as she hugs you goodbye and wishes you luck. You know you'll need all of it. You stare down at the ground in front of you as you're pushed onto a plane, of sorts, along with all the other tributes. Once you're sat down, you look around at everyone else. You remember all of their names as you scan over their faces, but you wish you didn't. You get stuck on one of the girls from District Eleven, Hope, who was only thirteen.
She's shaking, and you can see that from where you're sat down the row from her. She reminds you of Rue, the tribute from last year. Her death was a tragedy, it broke the hearts of everyone outside of the Capitol and the career districts. Hope's curly hair sat in a bun on top of her head, and tears fell down her cheeks as she sniffled. She got paired up with a girl from Twelve- the lengths the Capitol will go to to make a mockery of last years games will never cease to amaze you.
"Hey, you look a little pale." Rafe whispers, leaning close to you. You didn't even notice him sit down on the other side of you.
You shake your head slightly, looking down at your knees. "I'm fine."
"Don't think about it." Rafe instructs you, holding his arm out for the tracker to be injected as a guard approaches with the device.
You wince as you hear it get shot into his arm and he chuckles, shaking his arm off to ease the sting. You raise your shaking arm as they hold their hand out expectantly to you. You don't know what it is they're putting in you, but you've never been fond of needles. This is a million times worse. "It's not that bad," Rafe tells you, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you feel pressure on your forearm, followed by a sharp, stabbing pain. You bite your tongue to keep from making a sound, dropping your arm onto your lap as they quickly walk away.
"What did they do?" You ask him, trying to keep a steady tone.
"It's a tracker, so they know where we are in the arena." He explains quietly. You were the only two talking, and you notice it's earning you glares from several other tributes. Rafe notices this as well, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms, taking this time to size everyone up.
The plane takes off, and before you know it, you're landing at the arena on the outskirts of Capitol property. You wonder if you're close to the ocean, not that you'll get to see it anyways.
You're paraded off of the plane, still trying not to let it show how afraid you are of what's to come. You make the briefest of eye contact with Maisie as she's pulled towards a different hallway, and neither of you have it in you to smile anymore.
"We've gotta get supplies, that's our first move." Rafe says to you as you're led out of earshot of other tributes, into your own hall.
"My mentor said to run." You reply quietly.
Rafe scoffs, shaking his head. "Your what, one mentor said that? Cool. I have fifteen that are still alive and well enough to show up every year. I think we should get supplies." He tells you firmly, but you know that will get you instantly killed, maybe not him, but you stand no shot. "Just stick with me if you want to live."
You just nod a little bit, glancing at him again briefly before you're directed into a separate room across the hall from him. His pedestal will be next to yours, which is a bit of a relief. Your stylist quickly instructs you to strip, and then she helps you into the uniform you assume you'll all be wearing. It's exactly the same as last year, you notice this quickly, but with a '75' logo embroidered on the chest where the District Twelve tribute had her pin placed. Katniss, you remember her name was. She had volunteered for her sister, and at the time you contemplated heavily on whether or not you would do the same. She was so, so close to winning- to getting to see her sister again, but she and the boy from her district, the final two tributes, ended up committing together rather than giving the Capitol their Victor. It was an admirable stance, but you couldn't imagine what that was like for her family, and his.
You step off the concrete floor once you're dressed, instructed to get into the pod that will lift you up into the arena; a glass elevator. Your stylist says nothing to you as they walk out of the room, the glass door sliding shut in front of you. Your knees get weak as you realize you are totally, completely alone, and likely no more than twenty minutes from dying. You think of your family, your siblings, your dad- and the last words he said to you. You'll see him soon.
Your thoughts are halted when the elevator starts to move, lifting you up as the ceiling falls away and you can see sunlight coming through. You squint and shield your eyes as you try to look up to get a better grasp on your surroundings before you can even see anything. Once trees come into view you're frantically looking around, trying to process as much information as you can, and quickly. It's exactly the same as last year, but from what you can tell, flipped in reverse, and made larger to accommodate twice as many tributes. Or everything on camera last year was flipped. There's a silver cornucopia in the middle with the timer that's immediately counting down and supplies inside and scattered around the field in front of you. Rafe is to your right, and a boy from Seven on your left. He scored a six, the same as you, so he's not the biggest threat to you immediately.
You adjust your stance, getting ready to run once the timer hits zero. In what direction, you don't know yet. Rafe wants you to run to the supplies, but statistically, the most deaths will happen in the next five minutes and you don't want any part of that. The supply bags and weapons spread out on the grass are all the same too, by the looks of it. The closest bag to you got picked up by the girl from Seven last year, and it didn't have much of anything helpful. If you're remembering right, it had a rope and some matches, and that was it. It definitely would be useful, but you know you can do better. There should be a bag four pedestals to your right, with a water bottle, an emergency blanket, a fire starter, a first aid kit, and a knife. Right now, that's the one you have to get to. That's your best bet.
Ten, nine, eight... The timer ticks down to the final seconds as you look over at Rafe, who's already looking at you. You point to the bag as your eyes land on it on the other side of him across the field, and he looks at you confused. He's closer, he has a better shot, but you know he won't take it.
Rafe is confused, following your finger and spotting the bag. Why would you want that one specifically? There are others closer, he doesn't feel like now is a time to be picky.
Four, three, two...
Your ears ring with shock as the clock reaches zero, and you're watching most of the other tributes booking it for the center. No one has seen your bag yet as you jump down, beelining across the field and narrowly brushing past Rafe in your move for the small backpack. He stops to let you pass, almost crashing into you head-on. He doesn't have time to worry about you, so he continues on his path to the middle, but he's lost time. Precious time that he doesn't have to lose right at the beginning of the games.
He gets into the bloodbath that the cornucopia has already turned into, looking back over his shoulder quickly as he grabs at any weapon he can get his hands on. He quickly has to sacrifice the blade he just grabbed when he hears footsteps quickly approaching from behind him, turning quickly and plunging it into the boy's chest. He doesn't think to look at who it was.
Cannon's echo around you, and you're counting how many internally as you get to the bag, reaching down to grab it as you run past, trying not to slow down. You look back over your shoulder, hoping to spot your teammate somewhere, but you can't see him. You're scanning the area, blocking out the blood you see flying and scattered along the silver metal of the cornucopia. You can hardly hear any screams over the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You can't help but watch as the girl from Three jumps on who is supposed to be her partner, a girl from Twelve, snapping her neck in a second. Within moments, she just drops to the ground next to her- another cannon following. That makes a strong incentive for working in teams. At least Rafe won't betray you early on.
You freeze up for a moment, stopping to scan your surroundings. You still can't find Rafe, taking in the number of bodies scattered around the cornucopia and a few tributes running into the tree line. At least some people were smart. Something flies past your head, making you jump back a step as you look up ahead of you. Within an instant, you're being tackled back by the body of the boy from your district.
"Y/N, fancy seeing you here." He chuckles darkly while you try and fight him off.
"Don't!" You squeak out, him pressing his forearm down against your throat on the ground.
"I've wanted to do this since the second they called your name." He growls, shoving you down again.
"We can help each other, Jack..." You say weakly, clawing at his arm.
"You don't need me. You've got your career boyfriend- and whatever your secret weapon is." He scoffs. "You don't have a secret weapon, Y/N. He's bluffing and he won't convince us."
You gather all your strength and knee him in the crotch, scrambling to get away as he fumbles for just a moment. "God- you are a bitch!" He shouts, grabbing for your ankle just has you pick up the knife he had thrown at you. You grip it the way Rafe had shown you, quickly shoving it into Jack's leg. You just needed to get away.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" You exclaim, backing away quickly. Jack doesn't say another word, cutting his losses and getting up to make an escape for the woods. You hope he ends up okay.
You make your break for it as well, running back towards the woods as you once again scan your surroundings for your partner.
Suddenly you're on the ground, having run straight into the side of one of the pedestals and falling over it. You yelp with the sudden impact of the ground, scrambling to get up and continue when suddenly someone is grabbing your jacket, slamming you into the pedestal again. You scream, trying to shove them off, but they're much stronger than you. "Jael! Wait, wait- Jael!" You make out your own voice yelling the boy's name, which makes him falter. He's the oldest tribute from Eight- he seems shocked you even know his name.
In the moment when he loosened his grip, he jerks forward and then falls over you, a cannon booming making you gasp as you panic to get away. Rafe is quickly running towards you, slinging the bow he just used over his shoulder and yanking the arrow out of the boy's back. "Y/N, let's go!" He shouts, motioning for you to follow him as you continue toward the tree line, both of you keeping an eye on what's happening behind you as you disappear into the woods.
"Let's stay close, but not too close," Rafe suggests as soon as you feel safe enough to slow down, your chest heaving with the exertion of energy and boost of adrenaline. He glances at you briefly, then does a double take. "You okay? Are you hurt?"
You shake your head, coughing to ease the stinging in your throat. "I'm fine. You?"
"Good," Rafe answers, slowing his pace to match yours.
"We, uh, I think we should go the other way." You say, looking around to try and mentally place where abouts you are.
Rafe stops and furrows his brow at you, seemingly frustrated by your resistance. "Why does it matter?"
"The arena, it's the same as last year. Exactly the same. Just, scaled up a bit." You explain. "We should head south, that's where the river is. We'll need water soon."
Rafe laughs slightly, his demeanor changing as he places his hands on his hips and looks at you. "No shit," He says, truly surprised and impressed that you could tell. A lot of the games tend to look like this, and he would never notice a repeat arena down to the rivers if it punched him in the face. Your 'secret weapon' is already paying off. "And you could tell that right away?"
"Yeah, I mean, I guess so. The bags were all the same, everything was laid out the same. I bet there's a river down south." You nod, having a sudden realization. "We should get to that cave- the one the tributes from Twelve holed up in last year. That'll be a good, stable shelter. We can pretty much wait it out." You say, starting to walk in what you believe is the right direction.
"No," Rafe replies, making you stop in your tracks. "Unless you want me to have to kill you in the end."
"Oh, right." You forgot about that part, keeping score. "We're still going to need somewhere to sleep, though."
"Yeah, we'll find it anyways." Rafe nods, carrying on in the direction you started heading. You follow a few steps behind, keeping a bit of distance in the somewhat awkward silence that fell over you two after his comment about having to kill you.
You walk in the thick of the woods for about an hour before you feel like you're reaching the river. You can feel it under your feet, the soil is slightly softer, and the trees a little more green.
Cannons interrupt your thoughts a few times in the hike, totaling up to twenty-three by the time you reach the riverbank. "You were right." Rafe chuckles, mentally disparaging any skepticism he faced during the long, quiet walk.
"Thank god." You giggle, dropping your bag and crouching down to dig through it, hoping for a water bottle. You were right, everything you expected was accounted for.
"Why that bag?" Rafe says, already sitting down on the rocky water's edge to rest for a moment.
"Huh?" You question, unsure you heard over the shuffling of the bag while you zip it up.
"You pointed to it, during the countdown. Why did you want that one?"
"Oh, uh, like I said they all looked the same as last year, and I hoped I remembered what was inside." You say, laying down to reach into the water and fill up the bottle.
"Were you right?"
You nod with a small smile, sitting back up and holding the bottle out to him as you cross your legs.
"That's actually insane." Rafe shakes his head in disbelief as he takes it, downing just about everything in it before handing it back.
You take it and refill it again for yourself. "I'll choose to take that as a compliment."
Rafe wouldn't admit it, but at this moment as he's watching you drink, he's grateful that he got paired up with you. But now, that it's been shown on national television that you know the arena in and out, he wonders what obstacles the gamemakers will desperately throw your way.
"We should keep moving. I feel like a sitting duck out here in the open, I don't like it." Rafe mutters, checking his attitude as he stands up. You're quick to fill up the bottle again, following behind him yet again as the arrows in his quiver rattle together against his back walking over the rocky and unstable terrain, knife gripped tightly in his hand.
You wonder to yourself how he's feeling about leaving behind his predestined alliance of the career pack, but with the factor of most of them being paired up with other districts, it was already too unpredictable. You wouldn't have stuck around either.
The sun started to set as you followed the river upstream. You didn't want to settle without some kind of shelter, and you were committed to finding that cave before you could relax. You could tell that Rafe had the same idea, his steps ahead of you gradually picking up speed with the bow still gripped firmly in his palm.
"It's a beautiful sunset." You speak your mind before thinking, desperately wanting to fill the silence.
Rafe just hums in response, looking up only briefly before training his gaze once again on the ragged rocks at his feet and continuing on. "What's it like in District One?" You ask.
"Fine." He replies coldly. You aren't sure what you expected, but this response was pretty on par. You knew you had almost no chance of survival, so it would at least be nice to get to know the person you spend your final days with, even if he would be the one to kill you in the end.
"I've never been, but I've heard it's... nice." You've only ever heard about it from the perspective of other bitter individuals from Five, jealous of the cushy lifestyle everyone knew they must have lived.
"Yeah." Rafe agrees, clearly not wanting to discuss it.
"What are your sister's names?" You ask, deciding to push a little bit. It's not like he can kill you just yet.
Rafe sighs, but answers anyways. "Wheezie and Sarah."
You're shocked that he answered at all, but you could tell in his interview that he has a soft spot for them. "Cute." You nod, smiling to yourself. "Is Wheezie a nickname?"
"Yep, it's short for Louise."
"That's adorable." You grin, shaking your head.
"Hey, look. There." Rafe says, changing the subject and pointing down the rocks, where there's a small opening under a ledge.
"That's it!" You exclaim, deciding to drop the topic of his sisters in favour for finding your shelter for the night. You rush past him, watching your step as you climb down into the small cave.
Rafe quickly draws his bow, slowing down and peaking into the cave and bracing himself for your screams. How could you be so careless in a game like this? He doesn't understand your lightheartedness, your somewhat positive attitude, and your ability to make small talk despite the circumstances. "Hey, careful!"
"It's perfect!" You call back out as you look around, and Rafe steps down carefully, looking around more carefully than you had. He relaxes once he's satisfied that there's nothing down there waiting to kill you.
"Nice, okay." Rafe nods to himself, and you both get to work making a small fire near the entrance, hidden from view.
You take off your jacket and roll it up, using it as a makeshift pillow as you lay next to the fire, staring at the orange flicker of the flames you made.
Rafe is sitting across from you, knees tucked up to his chest as he does just the same. His mind is absolutely reeling- he needs to find something to eat, and soon. That will be the first thing you'll do in the morning, he'll have to employ your help to find something edible. "How are you with making traps?" He asks.
"I can do it." You reply, sitting up and leaning on your elbow so you can see him. "I'll set some up in the morning."
Rafe nods a little bit. He already knew you could, of course, but he's wondering about the logistics of how they work. "So like... hypothetically, would they work the same if you made them bigger?"
"Like... human-sized?" You ask, catching on to what he's suggesting. It's not ethical- but nothing about this game is. For you, this would definitely be preferable to fighting other kids to death over and over again.
Rafe nods, adjusting how he was sitting and crossing his legs.
"Yeah. I can't see why not." You answer. "It would be harder since I've never done it, but I think it could work."
"Then I say we try it."
The next day, you wake up as the sun rises and the light beats down on you from the entrance of the cave. You didn't sleep comfortably, that's for sure, waking up twice throughout the night to the sound of the cannon. That's twenty-seven. You wonder how many teams have already reached their ten-kill quota, you imagine someone in the career pack already has. Both times when you were startled awake, Rafe was standing at the cave entrance, bow drawn as he squinted into the darkness, hoping that whoever was out hunting other tributes wasn't nearby.
You sit up slowly, stretching out your tired limbs as you look over to see Rafe, fast asleep with a blade in his hand. You should let him sleep, and get to work on finding something to eat, and making some traps.
You grab one of the knives Rafe somehow collected from the bag laying next to him as quietly as possible, sneaking outside and taking in your surroundings. The sound of the river flowing and the smell of morning dew was amazing- you wish you could truly enjoy it in different circumstances.
You quickly get to work tracking down something to eat, landing on a few different plants you know to be edible. You're trekking through the woods near your cave when you come across an apple tree- making you pause as you look it over. It looks out of place- and maybe no one got close enough to it in the games last time that you wouldn't have seen it, but that seems unlikely. It must be new; it makes for the perfect place to try and set up a trap for the next hungry tribute who would be unfortunate enough to wander too close to your hideout.
You're digging a hole in the ground with your hands, avoiding the roots of the tree and sticking in some sticks you sharpened when you hear a twig snap behind you. You freeze, hoping that by some miracle, it's just an animal. You slowly turn your head to try and look, picking up the knife from the ground next to you and holding it tight.
"Just me." Rafe's voice relaxes you, and you stand up, brushing off your knees.
"You scared me." You admit as he takes to looking down into the hole you just dug.
"That looks... awful." He chuckles, patting your shoulder. "It won't kill, but it'll slow someone down enough that I can finish the job."
You nod slightly, staring into the dirt as well. You hated the idea that you were crafting something intentionally to bring harm to another person, but realistically you have no choice. "We'll set up more, along the riverbed and closer to the career pack. We can't monitor them all at once, though- can you make more fatal ones next time?" Rafe asks, pointing back towards the river to accentuate his point.
"That depends, how many arrows can you spare?"
The next few days saw the death toll rise to thirty-six. You kept track every night, scratching their numbers and names into the walls of the cave despite being able to remember anyway. You viewed it as a small memorial, Rafe saw it as a timer ticking down to when he'd have to kill you.
Your first trap had worked on one person, their screams of pain from a cut-up leg summoning your teammate back to the apple tree. He insisted you stay behind as he finished what you started. You had to reset several other traps as well, closer to the cornucopia.
Rafe would never admit it, but he was really starting to like you. He didn't want to hurt you- he was worried the traps wouldn't do enough. The passive approach you so preferred wasn't what he expected, and he knew his dad would be disappointed in him. But Ward would never understand.
He sighed as he poked at the fire with a stick, leaning his head back against the rocky wall of the cave, another cold night ahead of you.
You had your head laid on his lap, his thigh replacing the thin material of your coat that you had been using the last few days.
"How old are your sisters?" You ask out of nowhere, prompting him to look down at you. He had thought you fell asleep a while ago.
"Why does it matter?" Rafe replies, and you just shrug a little bit.
"Gives us something to talk about."
"Fifteen and Eleven." He relents.
"Hey, me too." You smile a little to yourself.
"You have sisters?" Rafe asks. He never asked much about you- he didn't really want to know, in the case he had to kill you.
"Yep. And a brother." You nod, sitting up a little bit. "He's older though, he aged out last year."
Rafe finds himself clenching his jaw. He can't hear that- to see you as a little sister. He doesn't want to imagine what it would be like to see his sisters face the same fate. "Lucky guy." He says quietly.
"Why? I thought it was a privilege, and all that." You chuckle.
"Well, yeah, but not for most. For the outlying districts like you."
"At least you get it." You agree. "How does it feel? Now that you're here, I mean."
"Scary." Rafe admits, throwing caution to the wind now with what his father will think. "Not what everyone tells you it'll be like."
"Is that because of me?" You ask after a few moments, and he nods slightly.
"Not in a bad way, though. It's just different. I expected to be on my own, to die alone, or kill my allies if I had to. Now... I don't know that I have to. Or if I even could." He can practically hear his father shouting at their large screen at home, or storming out claiming he was an embarrassment. He was told his whole life to never show weakness, to 'be a man', but now, at the end, that doesn't matter to him.
"I won't take it personally." You giggle softly, voice shaking as you try to make light of it. "My family won't either, I don't think. Maybe my dad, at first, but eventually he'll understand. They'll forgive you." You try and ease his mind, knowing that in the case that Rafe does win without you, he'll have to face your family in the next month or so during the victory tour.
"I wouldn't ever expect him to." Rafe tells you, tossing his stick into the flames now. He feels sick hearing you talk about it like it's inevitable- but if he has anything to do with it, you'll be coming home with him.
"They're good people." You assure him.
"Don't say that." Rafe chuckles, shaking his head. "I would never forgive myself."
"Okay, fine. They're awful. Just... the worst." You smile, looking up at him and resting your chin in your hand.
"That's better. Thank you." Rafe laughs, poking your forehead and gazing out onto the river as the flames illuminate the water.
In the morning, you're awoken to something brushing your leg. You groan and roll over, head landing once more on Rafe's extended arm underneath you. At least he was finally getting some sleep, pretty much unable to close his eyes since you set foot in the arena. You feel the brush again, followed by something moving on your arm, several things, suddenly, and your eyes fly open and look down when you remember where you are. You let out a scream, scrambling to sit up and pushing yourself back against the wall.
Rafe wakes up quickly, scrambling for the bow next to him when he realizes it won't be any help. You're surrounded by and quickly almost covered in a sickening combination of snakes and spiders.
You're still screaming, trying to shove the creatures off of you. "Come on- come on!" Rafe is yelling at you, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards the exit. You don't get the chance to grab your back and you regret that as you're jumping into the river in attempt to get the spiders off of your skin and out of your clothes.
You're breathing heavily as you come up for air, and Rafe is quickly there, brushing his hands over your hair to make sure every last spider is gone. He looks back at the entrance of the cave, chest heaving like yours as the bugs and snakes spill out of it. It sends a shiver down his spine- he was never a fan of snakes.
"I guess that's the gamemakers telling us enough was enough." He sighs, gently pulling you towards the shore again a safe distance away. "Are you bit?" He asks once you're a safe distance away.
"I don't think so..." You reply, hiking up the ankles of your pants to look at your calves and over your bare arms as you sit on the shore. "You?"
Rafe shakes his head, doing the same. "It was probably just a warning. We have to move." He quickly lowers his pant leg over the puncture wounds in his leg, hoping you didn't see. If it gets worse, he'll tell you. The bite itself didn't hurt much, so if it's going to be fatal, he's glad he won't have to hurt you.
Rafe helps you up, leading you up towards the tree line. "They probably want to push us in toward the other tributes, I think we should go with it before they throw something worse at us." You, the two of you now left with nothing but what you had on you, along with Rafe's bow and a few spare arrows.
He nods. "It's our best move anyways. How many tributes are left?"
"Twelve including us." You answer quickly. "There's Avril, a boy from six, Maisie, she's from my district, most of the careers I think are still in it but not their teammates," You begin to rattle off the list,
"I don't want to know names." Rafe cuts you off, and you understand why. He's been doing all the dirty work, and part of you knows it's because he's hoping to have time to learn names and feel guilty about it later. Right now, he can't afford to see them as human.
"Right." You agree. "It doesn't really matter, anyways."
"Do you know scores?" He asks, walking alongside you now.
You nod, beginning to list off all the remaining tributes and their scores, from lowest to highest. The lowest being you- and the highest being ten, shared by Rafe and a boy from district two.
After hearing two more cannons that day, and checking all the traps you had set, you're circling back to the river to be near fresh water before you set up camp again. You don't have your water bottle anymore, or anything to set up any kind of shelter with, you do your best. You set up a fire, Rafe insisting that if it draws other tributes to you so be it- he's ready for this to end just as much as you, but you don't want to rush into your death or an ambush. It's safe to say you won't be sleeping tonight.
You didn't sleep, but at least, curled up under a tree, the night sky was beautiful. The stars seemed realistic, and you wondered if somehow they were real. Between the two more cannons that struck overnight, you still wondered if you were somewhere near the ocean, or somewhere closer to home. While you're sitting next to each other in a peaceful silence, both admiring the vastness of the night sky, you hear a ringing sound coming from above.
Rafe quickly stands, reaching for the small silver pack with a parachute before it hits the ground. He's quick to open it as you stand up, looking into the container. You grab the small card, tilting it into the light of your fire to read it.
For our Y/N,
Keep fighting. Please come home to us.
Love You Always, Dad
Tears form in your eyes almost instantly, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. "It's just a water bottle and some kind of granola bars... or something." Rafe says, turning the water bottle over in his hand.
He looks up at you, frowning when he sees how upset you look. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." You quickly shake your head, wiping your eyes. "Uhm, it's from my dad."
The fact that your family could spare enough money to send you something in the games at all was amazing to you. You heard horror stories of the astronomical prices of trying to send something from outside of the capitol, without the status and funds of a sponsor.
"Oh." Rafe replies, handing you the tin and bottle now, taking the card from you gently. He reads it over slowly, and over and over again. His family had seemingly endless amounts of money, and they had sent him nothing. He knew his father viewed it as cheating, and that you shouldn't need any kind of help to win. If he loved him, though, that wouldn't matter. He should be willing to do anything he could to keep his son alive. The way your parents did.
"My mom made these." You sniffle, grabbing a small bar from the container in her hand. "They're my favourite, she only makes them on birthdays or special occasions." You explain.
"That's... that's really nice." Rafe says, putting the card back in the tin. He doesn't know how to handle this, or what to say.
You smile sadly as you sit back down against the tree, placing the tin on your lap as Rafe joins you. "Here." You hold the bar out to him.
"They're for you." Rafe shakes his head, pushing it away.
"They're for us." You insist, holding it out to him again. "They wouldn't have sent two if I wasn't meant to share."
"Thank you." Rafe smiles genuinely, for the first time in weeks as he takes it. He's starving, having eaten only small amounts of meat and plants over the last week or so, so he's quick to take a bite. It's sweet, more so than he expected. He never thought he could enjoy sugar this much.
"No wonder they're reserved for celebrations, hey?" You giggle, having intently watched his reaction.
Rafe nods. "Yeah, it's really good. Super sweet." He says, mouth still full. You grin, satisfied as you take a bite of your own.
The night flew by so quickly, you're feeling as though it must have gotten shorter. The sunrise went by fast too. You're guessing the gamemakers and the viewers were getting antsy. To be honest, you were as well.
Renewed with your energy the sugary baking your parents had sent, you set about gathering food and water, while Rafe goes on to check a few of your traps to see if they needed to be reset. He could do it on his own, but he liked watching you do it, working the ropes between your fingers and tying intricate knots, pulling back on the stick used to trigger the arrow. By the afternoon, having taken a mental note of the amount of cannons that had fired. It was a few, at least. You must be getting down to the end. He prayed it wasn't you, but the cries of some kind of mutts in the distance right before the cannons lead him to believe that you were fine- but he should be getting back soon anyways.
You were wandering down to the water, reluctant to leave your camp, but you knew water was a priority. You were just filling up the new bottle when you heard a scream. It sounded like a boy. You quickly look back over your shoulder, noticing it was nearby. Toward the apple tree. You stand slowly, looking around as you attach the water bottle back to your side with a carabiner, reaching instead for the knife Rafe had left with you. God, you hoped it wasn't him. The absence of a cannon gives you hope, though.
You quietly head in that direction, watching your step so your presence isn't detected. When you get closer to the tree, you hear crying. Painful crying, as you're faced with the reality of the trap you set.
You watch from behind a tree as the boy from eight tries to pull his leg up from the ground, screaming out again as the sharp sticks dig into his flesh. You should go get Rafe- you feel guilty, but you can't kill him yourself. You turn quickly, and before you can get a step away you're face to face with one of the other careers- a sword held up against your neck.
"Don't move." Blake says, a smile that can only be described as evil spreading over his lips.
You try and scream out for help, hoping Rafe was still in earshot but a hand is quickly covering your mouth. "Not yet." He whispers, shaking his head. "We've got a plan, it'll be fun. You wouldn't want to ruin that, right?"
As Rafe gets back to your small camp, he expects to see you there waiting. He scans the trees above him, wondering if you had climbed up for some reason. He calls your name when he doesn't see you, brow furrowed. You definitely should be back by now. As he's heading down to the water to look for you, he hears a cannon, which at this point wouldn't bother him- if it wasn't for the scream that followed after. It was you. No doubt in his mind that it was you. With his bow drawn, he's moving quickly towards where he heard your voice, throwing caution to the wind.
You scream again, crying as the tip of the sword is dug into your shoulder, laying down next to the apple tree. You can't help it- but you don't want their trap to work. You don't want Rafe to come, so you bite your tongue until you taste blood, hoping to keep quiet. "It'll only get worse for you if you don't scream, Y/N/N." Blake scolds you, digging in the blade more. "He has to hear you." He adds through gritted teeth.
You hear a twig snap just outside the small clearing, and Blake is quickly turning to look with the sword still pinning you to the ground. "Rafe it's a trap!" You shout, hoping that it's him.
Rafe steps out then, into full view with his bow drawn as he aims at the boy in front of him. When they first met, he knew they would have been good friends if they met anywhere else. "You won't shoot me." Blake chuckles, and Rafe quickly readjusts his grip.
"I will." Rafe says sternly, pulling the string tighter as Blake moves the sword to hover over your chest. Over your heart.
"If you shoot, the last of my energy will go into killing her. I don't think you want that." He shakes his head, smiling smugly.
"I don't care." Rafe says, making your heart clench. You know that you're friends, at the very least. He does care. He's bluffing- you have to believe that.
"If you didn't care you would have shot me already." Blake calls it, and Rafe tenses up, looking down at you only briefly.
"Then what do you want?" Rafe spits.
"Oh, nothing. I just wanted you to watch." Blake shrugs. "Just makes it a little more fun, you know? But don't worry, you'll be next." You know he just wants to prove himself, somehow, not having scored as high as Rafe did. You wonder if his family was somehow similar- that he needed some kind of approval that he thought he might find through sadism.
Rafe looks down at you again, and you just nod, tears streaming down your temples to your ears. He quickly readjusts before letting the arrow fly, planting straight in the shoulder that held the sword as you quickly roll over, slicing across your chest and shoulder in the process. It was well worth it.
Rafe fires another arrow into his chest, not taking any risks and the cannon quickly follows as he rushes to your side.
"Are you okay?" He's asking, hands hovering above you as he's kneeled next to you, unsure what to do.
You nod, still biting into your tongue as blood continues to slide down your skin, dampening your now torn up clothes.
"It's not that bad." Rafe says, looking over the cuts as best he can, but you wince when he pulls the fabric away. "You're gonna be fine, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah..." You mumble, letting your head fall back against the brush below you. Rafe is quick to take his coat off, using it to push down on the deepest part of the wound on your shoulder, trying with his other hand to apply pressure to the rest of it. You try and focus on your breathing, rather than the pain, but it's hard when a significant amount of weight is being applied to your shoulder and chest.
"I'm sorry, I have to." Rafe tells you, jaw tense as he lifts his coat to check whether or not the bleeding has slowed. You didn't even realize you were crying.
After a few minutes, he's lessened the pressure a bit, still holding the fabric firmly over your skin. "You could have ran." You mumble, voice hardly above a whisper.
"I wasn't gonna leave you." Rafe shakes his head, gently peeling away his now blood soaked windbreaker.
"You at least shouldn't have saved me. Not much point in that, is there?" You smile softly, trying to sit up and Rafe is quick to help.
"There is. You have to win." He mutters.
"I'm not winning, Rafe." You smile sadly at him. "Infection will kill me if you won't, and if no one else does first."
"No, they'll fix you up. This cut will be gone in a week, the technology they have is-"
"Rafe." You grab his attention again and he looks up to meet your eyes. They seemed to suck in all the light of the sunset above the two of you, reflecting back at him in a way that makes his breath hitch. The thought is cut short, however, when you say something that breaks his heart. "Don't give me hope like that."
"Why? You're gonna go home. I mean it." He promises. "I'll make sure of it."
"I don't think we have enough." You remind him sadly, a small smile still evident on your lips as you reach up to cup his cheek in your palm. "I never expected to go home. I'm okay with that."
Your friend shakes his head softly. "That doesn't matter. You have your family to get home to, I read that note from your dad. They need you, I can see that. For me, these games are all I was raised for. I have nothing left for me after this." He admits, avoiding eye contact with you.  "I could never forgive myself if I didn't get you home."
Tears are forming in your eyes again as you look up at him. The world is watching, and in this moment of vulnerability you feel that more than ever- despite the quiet sounds around you being only the rushing water in the nearby river and the birds chirping around you. "You're a good person, Rafe." You smile at him, watching as he gently raises his hand to yours, grabbing it in his own. "I hope you know that."
In this moment, you settle on the idea that you would die for him. You never understood last years tributes, honestly, how they were willing to die for each other instead of getting home to their own loved ones, but now you do. Completely.
Without a second thought, you find yourself leaning closer, Rafe doing the same as he kneels next to you in the dark. Your eyes meet once more, lips only an inch from touching when you hear a howl in the distance, and you snap your head to the direction it came from. "The Mutts... Already?" You say, scrambling to get up and ignoring the pain in your shoulder.
"I- I heard them earlier, they sound far away." Rafe says, trying to calm you.
"You heard them? You didn't tell me?" You ask, frantically grabbing his bow from the ground and handing it to him as he goes to pull the discarded arrows out of Blake's body.
"I didn't think it mattered!" He defends, trying to hide the panic in his voice.
"There were four left last year when they sent them out. I think... yeah I think that's right. There's four of us. We have to run." You say in a panic, pulling on his hand. "Our best bet is making it back to the cornucopia."
"It'll be too open- can't we climb a tree or something?" Rafe says, following after you as you're running through the bush now in the direction of the open field.
"I don't know if that will work, but I know we'll be safe there." You explain like it's obvious. "We have to risk it- and if you can get to the others first, if they have the same idea, we'll be at ten."
You're out of breath already, adrenaline pushing you through as you hear scattered barking getting steadily closer after one more cannon. Part of you wants to stop, turn, and force Rafe to take the win if you couldn't have it, but with any hope left, you have to try and get back to where this started. The traps was an unfortunate choice in how you got your kills, because you couldn't keep track of how many since by the time you got around to checking them, the body's would have been airlifted off if it wasn't a misfire. If you had to guess, though, you were sitting at eight.
Rafe is running similar calculations in his head as he lets you lead him by memory straight to the field, mind short-circuiting as he sees the silver moonlight reflect off the cornucopia.
You sprint across the open field, blood pouring from your undressed wound again with the intense exertion of energy. Rafe doesn't pass you, though, despite you expecting that he would. You have tunnel vision as you make it to the metal structure, practically slamming into it before you can even stop. Rafe is quick to lift you and shove you up, both of you looking over your shoulders as you struggle to hold onto the edge, kicking the sides to hold yourself up.
You finally get up, reaching down to help pull Rafe up. He grabs onto your arm for leverage, mostly pulling himself up and you wince as you feel the tension from his weight in your cuts.
You flop down onto your back on the cold surface as he climbs over you, immediately standing up with bow drawn as he intently scans the surrounding area. He's only got the two arrows left, which makes him nervous if that's all he has to defend the both of you with.
You try to settle your breathing, which only lasts for a moment until the sky lights up with the recap. You miss your cave, where you could contribute to your memorial, especially seeing the face of Maisie flash above you on the sky while the anthem plays.
You close your eyes, just listening to the music now until you hear barking just outside of where Rafe can see, and you're quickly sitting up. He draws the bow tighter, aiming in the direction the howls came from just as someone pushes out into the clearing. Rafe is aimed straight at them, bow string pressed to his cheek. He's getting dizzy, and quickly. His aim can't fail him now, he doesn't have that option.
You watch them, in the dark you think it's the other boy from district one, and in your exhaustion you can't remember his name. You wouldn't dare say it, anyways. He's screaming for help, a call you know you can't answer, and you watch as they stumble on their feet, shoes and hands digging into the ground as they try to get up, just ten or so yards from you by now.
Rafe wants to shoot just then, it would be as simple as letting his finger loose and the arrow would fly towards its target. It would be a merciful end for the boy he's trained with for years now, only a couple years younger than him. The muscle in his jaw is aching from the tension he's put on it when he forces himself to let go. He has to do it, for himself, if he wants to go home.
He misses. The yelp of one of the mutts tells you it landed in a paw or back, and you look up at Rafe who's already drawn his second. "Rafe!" You cry out, pushing yourself up onto your feet and standing behind him now.
He hates to admit that your empathy has rubbed off on him. Watching you every night carving seemingly endless names and numbers into the rocks that lined the space you stepped in. He recalls waking up one morning and seeing your name and his carved in as well, closer to where he laid by the fire, his underlined and yours with a heart at the end. Like a signature on the top of a math test. He had wondered if you always wrote your name like that, and in this moment as he releases the bow again, he knows he has to find out for himself.
It happened so fast, the mutts knocking down the boy and the arrow flying from Rafe's shaky hands into where he should have been right as the cannon sounds. You don't know that it was Rafe's arrow that did him in.
"No..." You mumble, clamouring forward and onto your knees again to look over as the boys body is torn apart by the mutts. "You had to have done it. You had to." You say, trying to get a better view.
In a second, Rafe's arms are around you and he's pulling you back from the edge, sitting now behind you with his arms wrapped tightly over your body. "It's okay.. it's over." He mumbles, kissing the side of your head as the sunlight comes over the trees. He's fighting off the urge to vomit, everything spinning around him now.
You sit with him, gripping onto his arms and crying. Nothing is happening, so you must not have made it to ten. You feel sick- your heart is in your throat and suddenly you're really hot, moving away from him to look over the edge again, this time incase you have to throw up. You freeze, looking over to where the boy's body once was. The second arrow was in the ground. He missed again.
Rafe sees it at the same time as you. He sighs, hanging his legs over the edge. "Shit... Y/N, I'm sorry." He mumbles, gently reaching over to rub your back.
"No, no. It's okay." You insist, sitting up next to him. "I knew this would happen."
"I'll get you home." Rafe says, sliding down the side of the cornucopia before you can stop him. He stumbles the landing, swaying in his walk as he heads towards the arrow lodged into the dirt.
"Wait! Wait, wait, Rafe!" You're sliding down after him, running to his side and grabbing his arm before he can get to the arrow in the ground.
He turns to you quickly, hand on your cheek and he's pressing his lips to your forehead. "Sit with me?" He asks, knees already giving out as he falls to the ground.
You're instantly on the ground beside him, practically holding his head up with your free hand as you search him visually for some kind of injury.  "What happened? Are you hurt?"
"Uh, I guess so." Rafe mutters. "Snake bite. I think."
"You didn't tell me? I could have fixed this, I could have helped..." You ramble on, his eyes dropping shut now. "Hey, eyes open."
"It's okay. Just sit with me..." He says again, smiling weakly. "Wait with me... please?"
You nod, sniffling as you fight back the tears that want to fall. "Yeah, of course. I'll stay."
Before he closes his eyes, the music starts again and your eyes are drawn up to the sky after you notice Rafe is looking first.
Then, begins a similar slideshow of faces you recognize. Ten in total. Rafe's eyes flicker with slight recollection, remembering any kills he made himself and you gasp when you see Jack. Whatever damage you had done when he tackled you on the first day must have killed him. "Rafe.." You mumble, lowering your eyes to meet his. "I think we won."
Your point is accentuated by the voice of the head gamemaker over some unseen speakers. "Introducing the Victors of the Seventy-Fifth Annual Hunger Games!"
"We did it." Rafe laughs weakly, squeezing your hand.
You fully ignore the aircraft hovering down in front of you on the grass, turning your head to look down at him. You don't say anything, neither of you do, and you finally feel your lips against his. The kiss is bad, it doesn't really work when both of you are stuck smiling ear to ear, but you don't care one bit. The only thing that matters is that you got this chance at all.
Rafe pulls away from you slowly, using all the strength he has left to lift himself onto his feet as you steady him. "He needs help!" You shout to them, and you're quickly being lead onto the plane.
"They've got really good technology," You mock what he said to you just the day before. "It'll be like it never happened in a week, okay?" You chuckle, feeling waves of happiness, worry, and relief all at once as you quickly wipe away a tear with your free hand, other arm wrapped tightly around Rafe's waist to hold him up.
He laughs, and you lean into him more, your forehead against his shoulder as the aircraft door slides shut behind you.
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taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @chenslucy, @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @ietss, @maybankslover @redhead1180, @suzyheartsrafe, @wpdailyminimeta, @aegons-bitch, @rafegirly, @lovelyxtommy @dee127
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pjmparadise · 1 year
Text
3:23 am (don’t go, stay) Pt 1 || JJK
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Pairing: jungkook x f! original character
Word count: 12.1k
Genre(s): fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, slight angst if you squint; neighbor au, pre-debut Jungkook au, pre-debut au, comic book artist Jungkook au, apartment au, neighbor au
Warnings: cursing, mentions of jungkook’s penis (yeah yeah... he sleeps naked ofc), brief injury (jk hurts himself bc he’s a dork); descriptions of anxiety and fear (jungkook is scared for a sec, oops); nudity mentions, jungkook is a little horny (what can I say....), jungkook gets a hard on lol; he’s also down bad pathetic crushing and is super clumsy, and brief mentions of home robberies (lol this feels random, but it isn’t I swear), very heavily dialogue based
Audience: 18+ (minors, DNI!)
Summary: Jungkook has had a couple of awkward run-ins with his pretty upstairs neighbor, who he may or may not be secretly pining over, and one night, she pays him an unexpected visit.
“My patio, though. Did you fall? I heard a thud.”
“Are you flirting with me? I’ve heard that pickup line before, but yours sounds a little different.”
He smiles. “I wouldn’t use pickup lines like those with you.”
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
A/N: WOOO! my first jungkook fic!! We recently got his birth time, and thus this title was born lol! I’ve been working on this baby for a few months now, and it’s finally finished!! After a long time of contemplating, i decided to make our female character an original character, and i know it’s kind of a rare thing in the community, but i felt it worked best with my story. It’s been a bumpy ride with this one since it’s my first lengthy fic (over 12k words... sheesh!) that will be a part of a short series. I’m very excited and a little nervous, but if you’re here, I’m glad to have you here. Thank you for giving my work a shot <3 (ps. italics indicate jungkook’s inner thoughts as well as flashbacks)
a big thank you to my lovely beta’s: @cherrysoulth @the-boy-meets-evil​ and @jeonjcngkook​ you’ve all helped me shape my fic and have been so helpful, and I am so so grateful. truly. seriously. thank you for brainstorming with me, for reading my work, and for being so sweet and so supportive.
a special thank you to @itaeewon​ for the lovely banner! I love it so so much &lt;3
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Jungkook is awake to hear the sound of a muffled thud nearby.
His bedroom is dark and silent save for the alarm clock resting on a bedside table flashing bright red numbers at him. ‘It’s late, it’s late, you should be asleep,’ the time says. Jungkook shuts his eyes, groaning and rubbing a hand over his face. “I know, fuck, I know,” he mutters. He’s fully naked, lying on his back, eyes wide open and boring into the ceiling, blanket kicked off to the side, and arms folded behind his neck–still remembering a phone conversation with Namjoon earlier in the day.
“So she walked toward the elevator as it closed, and you didn’t open it for her?” Namjoon scoffs over the phone, shaking his head and clicking his tongue to show he’s disappointed. He knows Jungkook froze, Jungkook already told him he wanted to reach out and push the button for her, but Namjoon asked again anyway—he likes to give him a hard time. “Every time you see this girl, things just kind of go wrong. I’ve noticed.”
“Yeah,” Jungkook says with a sigh. “I’ve noticed too. Is it a sign? Should I give up?” In his apartment, he sat curled up on his couch, his chin on his kneecaps. He’s fallen silent in thought.
“No, nothing like that. Maybe she didn’t get to see it was you, so she thinks it was someone else, or maybe she doesn't even think about it anymore. You know, like things that happen in your day you forget about later unless something reminds you of it?”
“Yes!” Jungkook relaxed, falling back against the couch with a hand over his forehead. “That probably is what’s going on. She went on with her day; other things have to happen, right?”
Namjoon was quiet. In his apartment, he was opening mail and reading over a proposal he was meant to sign soon. A project he hasn’t mentioned to anyone else, Namjoon folds the letter and sets it aside. “Sorry, yes. Yes, don’t worry too much. It will ruin your day. I mean that. Sorry for the pause. I just opened some mail.”
“Ah, okay. Well, you’re right.” Jungkook rose from his seat then. “Namjoon-hyung?”
Namjoon nodded even though he couldn’t be seen. “Yeah?”
“Thank you. I don’t know if I say that enough, but you’re always helping and guiding me when I don’t even realize I need it.”
“Thank you, Jungkook. Finish your comic tonight, and submit it tomorrow. I know you’ll place in the contest and do well. You haven’t scrapped it have you?”
Jungkook sighed. Rubbing his eyelids, walking distractedly around his living room, he spoke with his eyes closed. “I have it. I finished it; I just don’t feel too good about posting it, even with the pseudonym; it feels like too much. Too much with what we already have going on as a group even. We’re trying to do something together, and the comic stuff is just… I don’t know. I don’t want it to distract me.”
Namjoon was on his back patio, leaning over the railing and looking out at the park across from him. “Jungkook, I’m going to tell you something and think about it however you want to. I respect your life, but I think—and these are just my opinions. I think you doubt yourself too often and need to take some chances. Luck turns out; it does.” Namjoon folds his arms over the railing, leaning his body against it. “No rush, bro. At all. The music we’re trying to pursue, it’s not going anywhere, you know?”
Jungkook nodded from his living room.
“Like, okay, look.” Namjoon fixed his gaze on a flock of birds rising from the trees. “The guys, we all have our passions. Yoongi with his piano, Jimin is passionate about his dancing, Taehyung with his instruments, Jin and his gaming, and Hoseok he’s been designing his own clothes lately; with me, you know I like poetry and painting, but we all share music. That is for the team, for a part of us, but we each have so many parts. You like art and storytelling; your comics are so cool, bro. You love watching Taehyung practice the trumpet, and Jimin dance after practice. We like to see you pursue your other dreams too.  Pursue it, and don't worry about the group, is all I ask.”
Jungkook almost cried. He stopped pacing. His heart was racing; it was all he had heard momentarily. If Namjoon were there in front of him, he’d hug him. Maybe he’d even cry. “Ah, Namjoon-hyung…” he swallowed hard at the saliva in his throat, blushing. ‘Namjoon always knows what to say,’ he thought. “I will think about it. I will set an alarm, just in case. I’ll decide in the morning, you know it’s my style to do that the day of. If I think about it now, it will be like this all day, and I’ll stress too much.”
“Good, then. Just think about it.” Namjoon smiled.
Jungkook lies motionless with his eyes shut, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, mouthing along to Namjoon’s words. “We like to see you pursue your other dreams too.  Pursue it, and don't worry about the group, is all I ask.” He sighs. How could he not worry about the guys? He’s twenty-five. Most idols start out much younger, and the mandatory enlistment is already so near for his hyungs. It’s bad timing, is all. My comic book can wait.
He wants to sleep, so he turns over, laying flat on his stomach, facing his wall. Resting his full body weight on his flaccid penis is slightly uncomfortable, but he ignores it. It’s the type of restless night that he has no chance up against, and even with his eyes closed, he feels painfully awake. Jungkook is thinking of her again—her pretty smile, the pink sundress she wore in the elevator, her ability to look him in the eyes and not shy away—and it’s almost like she's here, in the same room with him. He pictures the sundress again, the way it clung to her frame, highlighting every curve. Man, I want her. He shifts his hips around, surprising himself with a massive erection.
The thud strikes again suddenly, and he sits up, alarmed. Shit, is that here? Like outside my apartment? Jungkook squints in the darkness, bringing a hand to the nightstand to fetch his glasses. Any sign of arousal is now extinguished.
“Bam?” He calls out in a sluggish voice.  The clock beside him flashes bright red numbers at him. 3:23. “Ah, shit,” Jungkook mumbles, turning the clock away. A sound he can’t distinguish comes from his left, directly outside his bedroom. “It’s like home alone,” he says to no one.
Jungkook rests his head against the wall, the texture cold against his feverish face. He can hear the sound of a muffled conversation. “Shit, that’s right here, right outside,” he mumbles, stepping back. He reaches over mechanically to switch on the lamp beside him.
Now, Jungkook is painfully aware of his nakedness and frenetically searches for bottoms to change into. He’s thinking about how his legs don’t feel like his own as he walks to the chair by the door, where he sees basketball shorts. It’s like sleepwalking. Even though he’s awake, Jungkook feels as though he might’ve actually fallen asleep, and this is some strange anxiety dream he’s creating to cope with his qualms about submitting his comic. Still, he goes along with it, quietly changing into the shorts, walking out into his living room, and ducking his head when he passes the glass patio door.
Cursing under his breath, annoyed at himself for forgetting to throw on a shirt, Jungkook shakes his head at himself. I don't want to fight an intruder shirtless and commando in basketball shorts, damn... A part of him feels a rush of adrenaline as he crouches behind a potted plant and, chewing on his lower lip, fantasizes about a robbery gone wrong, one where he puts his boxing skills to the test—the other part of him wants this to be a dream, a sign from the universe that he ought to submit his comic. I’ll fucking do it if I survive this.
Jungkook stays like that for a while until he hears a sound again. Rising from his crouched position, he walks toward the back patio window, pulling back the curtain to peer out. He feels a tightness in his chest, and his hands tremble slightly. A shameful part of him is relieved that he’s alone and no one is around to see how shaken up he is.
He whistles quietly, calling to Bam, forgetting his brother is watching over him tonight. Craning his neck, he glances around his balcony patio and sees nothing. “Bam, come here,” his whispering is frantic. He whistles again, patting his leg lightly. Nothing. You’re okay. It’s nothing. It’s probably the cats again tipping over the plants. Just fix it tomorrow. Now, go back to bed. You need it. Jungkook is about to whistle once more when he remembers. His eyebrows knit together; shaking his head, he places his fingertips on his eyelids, murmuring a lamented, “Ah.”
Thinking better of it, he draws the curtain back again and sighs with relief before taking note of a figure crouched behind a chair with a hand shooting up to rub their head. Panic washes over him. His inner monologue consists of a string of every curse word he can think of as he ducks out of view. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s a person. If he’d been scared earlier, now he’s downright petrified.
Desperate, he begins to look around the room for a weapon. Anything. Jungkook stands still, breathing in heavy gulps of air, cradling his head as he adjusts his vision to the darkness of the living room. ‘Can’t even turn a fucking light on,’ he thinks as he drops to the ground and crawls around his living room. His home’s silence unsettles him. Jungkook can hear the nothingness aside from his ragged breathing, so he pinches the skin on his arm and hisses at the sharp pain. Okay, real life it is. His bare knees skid against the hard flooring, and his clammy palms slip beneath him; his heart is thudding hard and fast, the blood pooling between his ears. He’s scowling, chewing his lower lip, his chest heaving as he fumbles a hand under the couch; he fingers a cold object and remembers what it is. Aha! He comes up with a golf club Taehyung left behind a few nights ago. I love you, Taehyung!
Jungkook grips the golf club until his knuckles take on a pale color. Having a weapon gives him a newfound sense of security, and like before, he’s fantasizing about kicking someone’s ass. “You come to my house at three in the morning? My house?” he says as he walks through his living room, rolling his shoulders.
He draws the curtain again, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness; he sees the figure facing away from him and hunching over, a phone glowing against their face. He can call the police, and he almost wants to, but to avoid the drama of a police visit at three in the morning, he decides against it. Imagine the guys find out I called the police? He shudders at the thought. The stranger looks small anyway.
Jungkook reaches for the doorknob and pulls back the door. It’s a lot chillier than he’d anticipated. He folds his arms over his bare chest instantly, the skin covered in goosebumps—his teeth chatter of their own accord.
“Don't move!” He raises the golf club in a mid-swing position, ready to strike. The person shifts around, holding up the hand with the phone. “I said, ‘Don’t move’!” He sounds ridiculous, but he doesn't care. In the shadows, he watches the phone’s glow shut off. “I called the police, so don’t try anything. They’re on the way.” His voice doesn't even sound like his own. He takes a few steps toward the stranger, his grip tightening around the golf club. His heart feels heavy in his chest.
It’s hard to make out the features of this person, but they rise, walk toward the dim light spilling from the neighbor’s window, and he can see them now. The stranger looks straight at him, and he’s met with wide eyes staring at him. She’s standing, squinting at him with a hand on her hip, and she smiles wide. Damn! If this were an animation, she’d have a halo effect.
Jungkook has seen her a total of seven times—he can’t help it; he likes to keep track of these things. It’s his upstairs neighbor, their interactions before tonight being brief and in passing (the most recent engraved in his mind and tormenting him), and he’s thought of her tirelessly and has fantasized about a time they should meet, and things go well for a change.
Jungkook doesn't know her name, but he could recognize those beautiful dark eyes anywhere. He’s looking into them now, his body anchored, mouth turning into sawdust.
She’s talking to him; he’s just not listening. Not really. He can't grasp the reality that it’s actually her, and she’s standing on his patio, and she looks so beautiful. Should he be thinking that?
Her long black hair is in a loose ponytail, her eyebrows arch as her deep dark eyes blink at him, and her lips move. “Please tell me you didn't really call the cops,” she says, bursting through his trance.
Damn, I sounded so stupid! Jungkook blushes. He hopes she can’t tell from where she stands.
“I was trying to call my friend; I swear I was not snooping or breaking in.” She smiles, but her voice sounds worried. Her eyebrows furrow like she’s trying to read him. “Honest,” she says in a small voice as she leans on the railing and raises her hand with the cell phone for emphasis.
She’s wearing a dark gray sweatshirt twice her size and sandals with white socks, and he can’t tell if she’s wearing shorts or if the sweatshirt is all. He can feel his face reddening just from the possibility of her nakedness underneath the sweatshirt, so he decides not to focus on that.
Jungkook rubs the nape of his neck, abashed. The cold air surrounds him, and he folds his arms across his chest, remembering his exposed chest. His empty threat echoes and bounces around in his head, and he looks away from her. “I didn't call the cops, sorry. I didn't know what else to say. It’s what they say in movies.”
“You would be right anyway; this is your patio.” She laughs a little at that, and his heart rate picks up. She pushes herself away from the railing, smiling, and walks toward him with an outstretched hand. Her nail polish is glittery, and he doesn't notice, but this small detail makes him smile. “I’m Rei. I live upstairs. Maybe you’ve seen me before.” There’s a coy look on her face as she says this, and it makes him nervous.
So her name is Rei!!! Fireworks set off, exploding behind Jungkook’s wide eyes.
“Huh, maybe,” Jungkook lies. He shakes her hand slowly, his hand enveloping hers entirely, the contact sending a warm shock through his body.
“Maybe a few days ago,” she says, with a finger to her chin, like she’s thinking over something. “Oh, yes, have I seen you on the elevator?”
“The elevator?” He feigns innocence as he tongues his lip ring anxiously. “That’s strange. Every day is a blur for me.”
“For me, too,” she replies. She’s almost smirking, watching Jungkook lie. He can tell she’s caught him. “You just look sooo familiar.”
“That’s a first.” Still, he denies it.
“Maybe you just look like someone I’ve seen,” she says, looking into his eyes as if searching for something she placed there. “You have one of those faces, you know?”
Jungkook raises his eyebrows, lips parted to speak, but nothing comes out. 
Is she flirting with me or giving me a hard time? DAMN!
“I have an ordinary face?” Jungkook wonders after a moment.
“Either that or my memory is failing me,” she says, sighing and shaking her head. “Which do you think it is?”
“I don't have an ordinary face,” Jungkook says in a small voice, “I have piercings on my face.”
“That’s true…” she’s watching the ground and suddenly looks into his eyes again. She holds his stare unblinking, and then her lips pull back into a big smile showing off cute bunny teeth. Just like me. “I’ve always had a good memory; I was just kidding.”
“Oh,” Jungkook says, blushing.
He can smell her perfume when a cold breeze blows past him, carrying her real-life presence and enveloping him in it. It’s sweet and mixed with a scent of detergent he recognizes, and he’s watching how strands of her hair float beside her face. She’s so cute. Damnnnn.
“You should open the door for the ladies,” Rei says, raising an eyebrow, and stepping closer, she says, “Just harmless advice. Stranger .”
“I will consider that,” he replies, avoiding her fixed stare, attempting to ignore how she’s riled him up with a loud clearing of his throat. But his chest is on fire, his heart thudding hard against his rib cage at her closeness. “My patio, though. Did you fall? I heard a thud.”
“Are you flirting with me? I’ve heard that pickup line before, but yours sounds a little different.”
He smiles. “I wouldn’t use pickup lines like those with you.”
She laughs, and he internally swoons. If he were a cartoon, his heart would burst out of his chest in comical dramatic thuds, his pupils heart-shaped.
“I’m kidding. I know I’m giving you a hard time when I’m on your patio at three in the morning, but I can explain why I’m here,” Rei mimics Jungkook’s movements by crossing her arms across her chest, her lower lip trembling, “but can I come in? It’s cold out, and I'm in the worst attire for this weather.” She gestures vaguely at her exposed legs, and Jungkook’s stare lingers before she notices—so he responds with a nod as he gestures for her to follow him inside. “Though you might have me beat. You came out here without a shirt, damn.”
Leading the way, he blushes at her comment and gives his head a light shake. She’s so talkative! Yoongi was right about her.
With a dreamy air about him, he remembers Namjoon’s words. Except now, all he remembers is: “You need to take some chances. Luck turns out; it does.”
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Inside, Jungkook excuses himself to his room to change into a shirt. He reaches for his glasses beside his bed and goes to the closet. “Shirt, shirt, shirt,” he mutters as his hands sift through empty hangers. When was the last time he did laundry? He groans. “Shirt?” he reaches to pick up a heap of white clothing in the deep corner of the closet. He brings the shirt to his nose, sniffs, and walks back into the room, raising an eyebrow and nodding with approval. His hands are shaky as he maneuvers his head through a t-shirt sleeve in a panicked rush. He yanks the shirt off again, the t-shirt now inside out and knotted up in his grip; he groans as his fingers work the fabric. What if she’s gone when I go back out there? Agh, what if I’m dreaming all of this up, and lack of sleep is finally getting to me?
Rei’s voice comes through the walls, and though this is their first official meeting, he knows she’s smiling as she calls out to him. “You okay in there?”
Smoothing out the wrinkles on the shirt, he glances at his reflection behind the bedroom door before stepping out, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. “I’m okay; all is OK. Sorry.” He offers her a thumbs up and a big goofy grin that makes her laugh.
“Did you go on a hike without me?” She asks from her seat on his couch. She rests her face on her palm, looking up at him as he walks past toward the kitchen.
“Hike? I just put the shirt on; it was fighting me, though.”
“No, I meant,” she shakes her head, laughing. “I meant that as a while for changing into a shirt. Bad joke, sorry.”
“Ah,” Jungkook says.
“You’re wearing glasses,” she comments, her eyes looking over his face.
“I am,” he says, glancing her way.
It looks like she wants to say something else but doesn't.
He raises his eyebrows, nodding and tonguing the inside of his cheek. It doesn't happen often, but he doesn't know what to say. He walks into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. “Do you drink tea?” He wonders as he fills a kettle with water and sets it to boil.
Rei nods, stretching her legs before her and craning her neck back to look up at the ceiling. “Chamomile or whatever you have, I’m not picky.” She points a finger above her head, motioning for him to look. “Those are stars. Is this wallpaper? It looks pretty. Is it glow-in-the-dark?”
Jungkook is in the kitchen, his eyes watching how her finger moves in a swift motion of the length of the ceiling. He thinks about how her hand felt in his grip and wishes he’d been more present. “It’s… I don’t know, actually. It’s not a wallpaper; it’s carved into the ceiling, and yes, it glows but not like the bright green; it’s softer.” He looks at her, and she scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. “Want to see?”
She twists her body to look at him, her smile so big he can’t help but return the affection. “Yes. Show me.”
“Grab the remote beside you; turn off the lights with it.”
She clicks the lights off, and the gasp she lets out makes his heart flutter in his chest. Aside from the hard thudding in his chest, the only sounds nearby are the buzzing of the refrigerator, the ice machine rolling out handfuls of freshly carved-out cubes, and the bubbling water in the kettle. Jungkook doesn't dare disturb the quiet; he’s leaning against the kitchen table, wanting her to stay. He looks for her in the dark, his eyes finding her silhouette on the couch, his lips pulling back into a smile. She’s better than in his daydreams; she smells sweet and of detergent, and she feels like a real person just like him, so near but out of his reach. And here, in the same room as him, so close to him, Jungkook realizes she could’ve left by now but hasn’t.
“I’d love it if I had this on my ceiling,” Rei pouts, “want to trade?” She clicks the lights back on, and Jungkook blinks, slowly adjusting to the brightness.
He pretends to mull it over, humming and tonguing his cheek. He puts on his best-thinking face. “No way, but you can come over and look at the stars when it's overcast or raining outside.” He walks toward the stove, where the water boils in the kettle. With his back turned to her, he’s hiding his blushing face as he sets two cups out before him.
“I think that sounds nice,” she replies, surprising him. “So what, I walk outside sometime, see a gray sky, and come downstairs to see you? ‘Hey, neighbor, can I see the stars?’ and you say, ‘Come in, I’ve just made cocoa, would you like some?’ and I say, ‘Thank you, are you sure?’ and then you say, ‘Sure’ except I never leave because I like the stars so much and you don’t know how to tell me I should go home.”
“Oh, that’s a good conversation. Is that what you’d like me to make? I like hot cocoa,” Jungkook says, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “You think I'd want you to leave?”
“Well, if I were here all the time….” she looks at him through her lashes, and he catches her eyes and raises an eyebrow at her, a playful smirk on his lips. And she shakes her head, laughing. “Do you mean it, though?”
“About you coming to see the stars whenever you’d like?” Jungkook asks, leaning against the kitchen island. She nods at him in two slow motions of her head. “Yes, I mean it.”
“The skies are unusually gray these days, aren’t they?”
“I’ve noticed that too,” he says, opening the fridge. He grabs a box of cherries and shuts the door with his elbow. “But no rain.”
“Exactly, I told my friend Kimi; she lives with me upstairs and is almost a sister to me, except we have different parents. Well, I told her, ‘Haven't you noticed how it looks like it’s going to rain every day, but it never does?’ and she says, ‘Rei, it rains. It just happens to be when you’re asleep,’ and can you believe it? I woke up yesterday, and it was early, not like tonight, but early for me, and I looked outside my window, and there was dew sticking to the glass, and it was all sweaty when I touched the windowpane, and I realized she was right, it rained during the night, and I just missed it. Isn't that something so lame?”
“Huh,” Jungkook says, chewing on a cherry and offering the box to her. She shakes her head no and mouths a ‘Thank you’ to him. “So we’re off asleep and just missing the rain, so it always works out that we’re missing out on something during the day. It’s always like that. Kimi sees the rain, and you’re off sleeping, but you probably get to see other things I miss when I’m taking a nap and on and on.”
“That’s true. But I thought about catching it tonight. When I went to bed hours ago, I kept thinking about the rain and wondering if I stayed up, I might see it, and it wouldn’t just feel like I kept missing it and living the same gray day.”
“It’s like Santa Claus,” Jungkook says, scrunching his nose as he tongues a cherry stem in his mouth, “waiting up all night for him to show up just for you to see your dad dressed up as Santa and realize he’s been putting the presents down there for years.”
Rei laughs at this and covers her face with her hands like she’s protecting her laugh from anything sharp. “Your dad did that? For real?”
Jungkook scrunches his eyebrows and pinches his nose bridge, and with a tone of feigned affliction, he says, “Yeah, he did. I knew the truth before a lot of my classmates.”
“How old were you? When he ruined Santa Claus. Do you remember a thing like that, like how old you were?” She rests her chin on her palm like she’s weighing her head. He thinks she looks cute like that but doesn’t say anything.
“I don't know exactly, but I was in the third year of school,” Jungkook says, suddenly thinking back on his infancy. He chews his lower lip when the answer suddenly comes to him, and he remembers the conversation he had with the guys a while back. They’d all taunted Seokjin when they found out Seokjin didn't know the truth about Santa until he was thirteen. “I was seven. I can't believe I remembered that. I was seven….” His mouth hangs open, and he remembers what he wore when he first saw his dad hunched over behind the tree with a gift in hand— a white flannel pajama set and his mother’s slippers. Where has this memory been hiding?  “Damn.”
“I was six,” she says, smiling. “My childhood was ruined a year before yours. Or wait, are we the same age? I just assumed we were.” She laughs again, bringing a hand up to her face to hide her smile.
“I assumed the same thing,” Jungkook admits, feeling his cheeks redden. “I’m twenty-five.”
“Oh wow,” she says, almost to herself. “Me too.”
He doesn't know what else to do but clear his throat and nod.  He never imagined getting this far (whatever that means). He’ll struggle to explain this later when Namjoon asks—Jungkook knows he’ll ask.
The kettle begins to whistle, and he’s reaching for the two coffee mugs as she says something behind him he doesn't catch. And he turns his head over his shoulder and nods at her. “What happened? Sorry, I didn't catch that.”
“I said, ‘You don't have to do that for me.’” She turns her head away as she says this, her long hair cascading along her profile, hiding her.
“I have a visitor,” he says, turning over to look at her with a grin. “I have good manners.”
“Oh, sure, manners,” she replies, rolling her eyes at him like a friend he’s known for years. “Is that my tea? It smells amazing.”
“It is, but it’s hot, so let’s leave it here.” Jungkook offers her a tight-lipped smile, shyly making his way toward her. “Mind if I sit next to you?”
“No, not at all; come, sit.” She pats the spot beside her and scoots over to make room for him. “Thank you for the tea and for letting me in. I know it’s late.”
Jungkook glances at the clock on the kitchen stove. 3:55. “It’s not that late. I was awake anyway, so I didn’t mind.” He’s toying with his lip ring again. “Why were you out there anyway?”
It’s been some time since Jungkook’s been this close to a girl. He feels his heart thudding away in his chest, her presence stirring up a desire that’s been dormant. Loose strands of hair frame her face, and his eyes follow her movements as she brushes the strands away. She looks embarrassed, her cheeks reddening. Still, he finds her so cute. “Truth?”
“Yes.” He scrunches his nose when he smiles at her.
“I locked myself out of my apartment. Before bed, I stepped out into my patio for a smoke and to read more of my book. I was also trying to test my rain suspicions to see if I could catch it while it happened. So, I’m out there romanticizing my life, pretending I’m in a movie; you know how we act when we’re alone and suddenly want to be poetic?” She looks at Jungkook, and he nods lightly. “That was me, except I got cold right away and said, ‘Oh fuck this, I’m going to bed,’ and that’s when I realized I’d locked the back door, and I was so mad I almost cried.” She places her fingertips against her forehead, continuing her recounting. “So, of course, I get the idea of calling a locksmith, but they’re closed; I don’t know what people should do if they need help during the night.”
“Most people sleep, I think.”
She clicks her tongue. “Right, some people do, but you and I are not those people, right?” She draws an imaginary line with her forefinger from her chest toward him. He nods and feigns oblivious as his leg brushes against her bare thigh as she shifts in her seat. “So, not only is every locksmith not available, but my service is horrible, so I am standing on my tiptoes trying to get a bar, and my phone slips. My heart almost burst.” She brings a hand to her chest for visual effect, and his eyes watch her chest as it rises and falls with each breath. He’s smiling at her—a wide smile that hurts his cheeks. “If it weren’t for your patio, my phone would be shattered to hell on the ground. I look over my balcony, and for the first time, I notice how close our balconies are.” Rei presses her hands over her thighs, leaning forward in her seat and fixing her eyes on the glass patio door across from her. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I don’t go out there much. Anyway, I’m rambling. I noticed I could jump directly into your patio because there’s a mattress out there, and well….” She makes a motion with her hands that says: ‘ Ya know?’
“You weren’t scared of jumping? The balconies are close, but we’re still six stories up.” Jungkook rests his hands on his knees, fully invested in this story; his eyes never leave her. She forms a tight line with her lips and gives him a serious look that makes him laugh. “Ok, so you were scared.”
“I was scared! But there’s a mattress out there, you know,” she says in a small voice. She’s blushing and scratching at the side of her nose to avoid his eyes.
Jungkook notices this and clicks his tongue, leaning back in his seat.  “So it was not an accident, then?” He raises an eyebrow at her, sucking his teeth in feigned disapproval.
The truth is, he’s not mad about it; he wants her here. He almost feels like he is in a dream.
“Not entirely. Don’t ask me how I thought about returning to my place after retrieving my phone because I didn’t think that far ahead.”
“Oh, there’s a mattress out there. You could’ve just slept there; no big deal,” Jungkook says with a laugh. Rei brings a hand to her face to hide behind, making a groaning sound. “I’m sorry; I don’t mean to laugh at you. I just don't know what to think— this has never happened before.”
“And it won’t happen again; let’s hope.” She laughs, and it’s different from before; it sounds deeper like she reached into herself and decided to really show him. And Jungkook likes the sound of her laugh but does not comment. She moves a few strands of hair from her face and rests her cheek on her hand, leaning on the couch's armrest. It’s slowly dawning on Jungkook how badly he wants her. What am I supposed to do with her this close to me? Damn. “So, what’s your name? You didn’t say when I told you mine.”
He rises from the couch, remembering their tea.
“Jeon Jungkook,” he says as he pours the tea, “I guess I forgot to introduce myself. Huh.”
Rei’s looking at him with her chin in her hand and a serious look on her face as he’s walking toward her with an outstretched hand in offering. “It’s chamomile,” Jungkook announces.
“Jeon Jungkook,” She repeats with a light smile. “I like it. I don’t know any other Jungkooks.”
“Yeah? I’ve had this name for a long time. I like it too.”
She takes the cup and brings it to her face, inhaling the scent and shivering, and says, “Thank you again. This tea smells sweet. It reminds me of this tea my grandmother used to make my sister and me when we were kids. She would put a little bit of honey, the real kind, and peppermint leaves; it was….” She sighs longingly. “I miss that tea; this smells like home.”
Sitting beside her, he takes a sip of tea, his gaze on her unmoving. Her lips part as she blows gently, the steam rising from the cup in lazy strokes. Jungkook’s heartbeat quickens when she matches his stare with her deep dark eyes that seem to look for something in his.
“This tea has honey, but I doubt it’s the real kind you mentioned, but I still think it’s good.” He clears his throat, looking away as he adjusts his glasses on his nose bridge.
“I like your glasses. I wanted to say that earlier,” Rei comments, taking a sip of her tea, “I don't know why I didn't say anything.” She moves around in her seat, tucking her legs beneath her, then asks, “Can I wear them? Are they prescription?”
“They’re just reading glasses. You can wear them. I put them on sometimes just because they suit me,” he pulls his glasses off, wipes the lenses on his shirt, and hands them over.
“Ah, so you like how they look on you,” she says, her eyes gleaming as she takes the glasses from him and sets them on her face. “How do they look?”
If he were a cartoon character from one of his comics, he’d have melted into a puddle, exploded like dynamite, turned into stardust, and returned to his original self. Except, she’s a real person just like he is, flesh and blood and so beautiful, and he’s off in space being reborn.
“Look at me,” he motions for her to turn his way. She looks straight at him, wearing his glasses and blushing at his attention. She begins to unfold in front of him, her playful demeanor softening. “You look pretty. If they weren't my prescription, I would give them to you.”
“Here, they’re hurting my eyes,” she says, laughing. She removes the glasses and starts rubbing her eyes with closed fists. “You’re sweet, though. I couldn't take a guy’s glasses. How will he go on drinking his tea and letting me in to watch the stars?”
Jungkook feels a warmth spread in his chest. God, how is she real? He runs his fingers through his long hair and coughs once, then again. His nerves are getting to him. She’s too close to him, her bare thigh soft against his leg. He begins to count backward in his head.
“Were you really awake already, or did I wake you?” She asks him all of a sudden. Her eyes stay on him as if waiting for him to say something else.
“You don’t believe me? I was awake. Swear.” He raises his free hand at his side.
She appears to mull that over for a bit, bringing her cup of tea to her lips but not taking a sip. “What were you doing?”
Jungkook is silent, and she sits unmoving until he speaks.
What was I doing? Besides dreading another deadline? Thinking about a comic I might not submit or thinking about not having a shot in hell with a girl like you? Images of the times they’ve run into each other flick by in his head like a slow PowerPoint slide. The registration office, desolate stairwells, crowded evacuations, elevators closing, Rei standing in front of him in a summer dress with a strange look on her face; Rei on his back patio, hunched over with a phone near her face; Rei in his apartment, on his couch, next to him. He feels the adam’s apple in his throat rising and falling. He’s been quiet for who knows how long.
“Thinking, I guess.” He breathes out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I don’t know why I took so long to say that. It sounded boring in my head, so I had to think if there was something else I forgot about.”
“That is pretty boring, just thinking. But that’s life, though, isn’t it? Kind of boring sometimes.”
Jungkook nods, blushing and avoiding looking at her. What if she can read minds? He straightens his posture and runs his fingers through his hair again, his eyes fixed on the ceiling of carved-out stars. It’s OK. It’s OK. She’s still here.
The living room is almost dead silent. Jungkook notices how Rei sips her tea and looks over the area. It’s neat, for the most part. Bam’s toys lay scattered near the laundry room entrance, along with some of Jungkook’s dirty socks the dog likes to chew on, and Bam’s food bowls are resting up against the wall beside his doghouse. The potted plants Namjoon gifted Jungkook are still alive and pop against the beige coloring of the walls in front of them. The TV is massive, his Playstation console resting on its side. Her eyes find the corner shelf where Jungkook’s Marvel figurines are on display behind glass doors, and she turns to look at him with a sparkle in her wide eyes. “Are those yours?” She gestures with her thumb. He nods, chewing his lower lip anxiously. “Can I look?” She rises from her seat when he motions for her to go on. Like standing in a museum, she silently peers into the display with her hands clasped behind her back.
“I just got that case a few days ago when I got that plant next to you,” Jungkook remarks, joining her.
“I remember,” she says distractedly.
“You remember?” His eyebrows raise, and he looks at her fixedly, bringing a fingernail to his mouth. He scrunches his eyebrows, rubbing at his forehead with his fingers; he remembers, too.
He’d bumped into Rei on his way upstairs, both arms holding the bonsai trees obstructing his view, taking long strides up the stairs, chanting to himself and grunting in rhythm. He was on the 50th stair.
“Hey!” A voice shouted at him. “What the hell?”
Jerking to the side of the staircase, flattening against it, Jungkook jumped at this voice. “Sorry! You’re okay?”
The voice struck him as familiar, but mostly, he was surprised he wasn't alone on the staircase. The person laughed a lively laugh, and he felt his chest tighten. He lowered the plants, meeting her eyes. “I’m okay,” she said, shaking her head. She grinned at him, and his heart gave a squeeze. “These things happen. I should take the elevator next time.”
“The plants, I mean. You walked past me going up the stairs and hit me on the head with it.” She glances to her right, catching his eyes briefly. He groans, nodding lightly. She continues, voicing their shared memory, “You were carrying two pots of plants that day and lost your balance or something like that.”
He nods with his eyes closed, his eyebrows drawn close together as he tongues his cheek. “I remember, too,” he opens his eyes to look over at her as he continues, “sorry again. My friend told me not to do that, and I didn’t listen.”
A Spiderman figurine holds her attention, and she’s smiling. He feels his cheeks burn at her sincere gesture. She pretends not to notice and says, “You like running into me like that, then?”
“Like how? It was an accident,” Jungkook says, standing beside her and stretching his arms behind his head.
“Riiiiight,” she says, smirking. “Accident.”
“I didn’t know you were in the stairwell. No one takes the stairs,” Jungkook counters, his voice taking on a defensive edge.
“I take the stairs, I like the exercise, and it’s less embarrassing for me,” She admits. “Running in front of people just looks so stupid. I get too worked up about it and think people are just laughing at me, and they might be, but this way, I can do it in private.”
“Running across the street when cars let you pass is very embarrassing for no reason,” Jungkook says with a laugh. “And okay, fair. I took the stairs that time just because the wait for the elevator was so long. I didn’t mean to hit you that time either.”
“Jungkook, we have to stop meeting like this.” She gives her head a light shake and looks down at her hands. She picks at the glitter on her nails distractedly. “So many accidents. We’re too clumsy.”
“I know what you mean. Namjoon told me to leave one of the plants in the lobby, but I was too impatient. I’m like that sometimes.” He can’t seem to stop blushing.
But Jungkook has to agree. There have been too many accidents in their run-ins with each other, and he remembers each encounter with extreme detail.
Jungkook saw her for the first time when he moved in and face-planted into her back as she stood by the entrance of the registration office. But it didn't happen right away, at least.
The office was big and bustling with sounds. Jungkook walked in, asked out loud if there was a line, and someone nearby replied that yes, there was a line, and he was right at the tail of it. He bounced on the heels of his feet, humming a melody to himself, tapping his fingers against the sides of his legs. A TV across from him played a K-Pop music video of a group he’d never heard of. Beneath the TV was a table with a Terra Kaffe espresso machine accompanied by a spread of dan-pat bbang, songpyeon, bingsu, and reusable cups. His stomach grumbled, but he kept still, willing himself to look away.
Rei stood in line, a foot or two in front of Jungkook, sporting her hair pulled back, secured neatly with a clip the shape of a butterfly. She wore casual clothing: a black long-sleeve sweatshirt, baggy pants, and white Nike shoes. She had earbuds in, and he could hear the muffled sounds of a guitar, and though he did not fully understand why, he smiled.
“Next in line, please,” a woman behind a glass window called out, taking an uninspired sip of her iced coffee as she waved a hand toward her. “Come on, next in line.”
Jungkook wore a black t-shirt, navy plaid bottoms, and socks with slides, though standing there, he began to regret his attire. His eyes looked over the office, and mentally, he tallied the number of girls he spotted. Nine. He felt his cheeks warming up, his neck growing hot, and when he looked over to his right, a girl waved at him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He blushed, nodding at her. Why hadn’t he worn something nicer?
He was adjusting his sock, balancing on his right leg, when a dog ran past him, toppling him over. He hopped on his right leg, his arms flailing at his sides, and his face instantly smashed into Rei’s back. If he had a chance to do it over, he wouldn’t have cried out so loud. Even now, months later, he cringes at the memory. He’d turned away, cupping his aching nose after she whipped her head over her shoulder at the sudden impact. Their eyes met briefly, her pupils dark and wide; she mouthed something to him, his ears ringing, all of the sounds around him muddled into incoherence.
“I’m so sorry. Excuse me,” Jungkook mumbled, turning at his heel and speed-walking past a group of girls that giggled when he passed them.
Jungkook thought about her all day after that first day. While he unpacked, walked Bam, and cooked for himself later in the evening. She was pretty, sure, but there was something else. Something he couldn’t break apart and understand— it was new and brought on a strange sensation and desire to know her. He didn't know it then, but he’d see so much of her it would become nearly impossible not to think of her.
And here they are, five months later.
“You agree, don't you?” Rei prods. “Maybe you’re the clumsy one, Jungkook. I was just standing there.” She says that like she knows what he’s thinking. That first day they saw each other. She’s thought of it too.
He swoons at the sound of his name escaping her lips again. “Jungkook,” he mouths, taking it in—not wanting to forget how it sounds when she says it.
She turns on her heel, returning to the couch and fetching her phone from between the cushions. Her backside faces Jungkook, and he shyly lowers his gaze when he catches a glimpse of her ass in shorts that do a poor job of hiding anything. “I’m impatient too, as you know now,” she offers, looking down at her phone, her face illuminated with the screen's glow. She reads something and has a serious look on her face. “It’s getting late, isn’t it?”
He squints at the clock on the stove. 4:27. “Yeah, I guess so,” he replies, trying to hide his disappointment.
“Your figures are cool, by the way. They look like the real deal. Are they?”
He nods silently, tonguing his lip ring. Jungkook watches her with a gut-wrenching desire to step forward and take her face into his hands and kiss her.
“You’re a Marvel geek. I'm guessing,” she says, staring down at the ground. It’s like she’s suddenly shy. Her voice is quieter. “I like some of the movies. I saw the new Spider-man with my friends last week. I’m late, I know.”
“I have Disney plus,” Jungkook says, his eyes looking her over. “And I’m not trying to say anything like the ramen stuff, you know, all that stuff people say to each other recently to get together. It’s a real offer.”
Rei laughs, bringing a hand to cover her face. “So you don't want to get together?” She looks at him with a deep intensity in her eyes and smiles coyly, making Jungkook swallow hard.
“I said that, didn't I? That’s not what I meant. It’s just that nowadays, words have different meanings. Let me rephrase-”
She takes a step closer to him, and his chest feels ablaze. She’s so close he can smell the fragrance of her clothing much clearer than before. We use the same detergent.
“I’d like to come by sometime,” she says, her eyes lingering on his hands holding his cup, “for a movie, no ramen.” Now she smiles warmly and takes a step back.
She likes doing this to me. It’s torture.
“Really?”
“Yeah, why not? You seem nice. I don’t think you’d be a freak, right?”
“Right,” he says, nodding.
“I know we’re technically strangers, but you have a good vibe,” she says, shrugging. “I show up here so late, and you serve me tea. You’re a nice guy.”
“Am I?”
“I think so. Are you?” She quirks up an eyebrow, twitching her lips between a smile and a laugh.
Jungkook smiles at her. He feels his cheeks growing warm. “I am. I don’t know why I challenged you about it.”
“Because you like to flirt with me, I think,” she retorts, crossing her arms across her chest.
“I’m just a nice guy,” he says as he places his palms  against the kitchen counter for balance, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Uh-huh.” She glances at her phone screen, reading the time, and Jungkook does the same with the time on the kitchen stove. She's going to leave. I can feel it.
“I guess I should get going…”. Rei looks apologetic for some reason. A pink shade colors her cheeks, and she brings a hand to her forehead and lets out a deep breath as she says, “Kinda hot in here, no?”
Jungkook wants to tell her she doesn't have to go and that he doesn't want her to, but he only offers her a timid smile and looks away, nodding in agreement. “A little. I’ve been feeling it too,” he says, looking at her and catching her eyes.
Should I move now? Is it now? My move? Will she kiss me back?
Still, he brings his cup of tea to his lips as she stores her phone in the pocket of her hoodie, and she pauses as if remembering something. “And why is there a mattress outside?”
He’s drinking his tea and begins to choke. Coughing, his chest on fire, and his throat closing in, Jungkook rushes to double over his sink, and she’s standing behind him with a wrought-up look.
“Are you okay?” She steps closer to him, lightly touching his arm.
Jungkook coughs, clearing his throat; he can feel the blood rushing to his face as his eyes instinctively shed tears. The feeling of her touch on his arm feels like fire. “Sorry, I don’t know what happened. The uh, the mattress?” He looks toward his patio, a panicked look in his eyes behind the tear-stained glasses. He pauses, looking down at the floor. “I have them all over, so I can nap when I feel like it.”
She throws her head back and laughs, not taking him seriously until silence hangs between them. She raises an eyebrow. “Wait, really?” With that, her phone goes off in her pocket, and she reaches for it. “Sorry, one sec.”
He leaves her to talk on the phone with whoever and walks over to pick up Bam’s toys and dirty socks to throw in a hamper. Jungkook can hear the muffled phone conversation a room over, so he hums a song. She speaks in a hushed voice, but he hears his name mentioned.
He coughs before he reappears in the kitchen.
She’s humming to herself, lingering by the door, and his heart squeezes. ‘Don’t go,’ he wants to say. ‘Stay.’
“I should go…” she says, not budging from where she stands, chewing her lower lip, looking at Jungkook through full eyelashes. Almost as if waiting for him to interject, and him, not knowing how to.
“If you want,” Jungkook says. He swallows hard at a lump in his throat. The plead to have her stay pushed down into his chest.
DAMN!! 
A look he can’t decipher takes over her face, and then the next moment, she’s smiling at him, reaching for the doorknob just as he does. They share an embarrassed exchange of looks when their hands touch, and he shakes his head, an anxious chuckle escaping him. His face feels warm as he pulls the door open for her. Rei steps out into the hallway, turns over her shoulder, and raises her hand to wave at him slowly.
Again, he yearns to kiss her and again lacks the courage.
“Bye, it was nice meeting you, Jungkook.”
“Goodnight, Rei,” he replies, leaning on the doorframe, his heart sinking into his stomach.
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The next day, Jungkook is cooking for himself. He submitted his comic in the morning and has endlessly replayed last night’s events in his head.
“I should’ve kissed her,” he says to Bam.
Jungkook’s phone pings a few times and is followed by a call. He answers, distracted as he serves himself bibimmyeon and pork belly. He props the phone between his chin and ear, tilting his head comically as he walks back and forward to the table, setting down a steaming bowl of sticky rice. “‘Ey, Namjoon-hyung!…” He drags the chair out from underneath and settles in front of his plate. Jungkook reaches over the table, yanks a paper towel, grabs his chopsticks, and begins digging into the rice. “Wait,” he glances at the clock on the wall. 6:47. “It’s almost seven,” Jungkook says, confused. “Your meeting with the record executive started at six… it ended that quickly?”
Namjoon smiles. “The meeting was quick. I have really good news.” He pauses for effect. He’s in the studio, eyeing the email on screen. “Hold on,” he says, placing the phone on the desk and turning the speaker on.
 Jungkook is chewing his cheek, the chopsticks loosening in his grip. He lets the silence exist for a few seconds, then he rubs the back of his hair, leaning back in his chair, his spare hand fisted over his mouth. “What?” He grumbles into his fist.
“He liked my demo. He had some comments about it but said it would do well. He said everyone else liked it; whatever that means, we’re in. He said we can come in for a group meeting where we introduce the guys, and that way, we can all talk about what we want to do going forward.”
Jungkook is speechless; they’re in. All seven of them. He can’t believe it. He stares wide-eyed at Bam, who tilts his head quizzically. “No way. No way. Is this for real?” Jungkook’s heart is thudding so hard he can see it beneath his shirt.
“I swear, Jungkook. It is.”
“Do the guys know?” Once more, Jungkook meets the eyes of his dog, and he’s smiling so hard he feels his nose scrunch.
“Some of them do, yeah. I was with Jimin earlier.”
“Yoongi,” Jungkook says, bringing his palm over his forehead. Smiling with his eyes crinkling, he feeds himself rice. “Yoongi will be so happy. We all are, you know but him .” Jungkook makes a sound with his teeth. “He’ll be so proud of all of us.”
“I know, I know. Yoongi hasn’t slept well since we first submitted our demos, and when I mentioned I had a meeting with an executive, he grabbed his jacket and took off to the studio. I don’t know what he’s been doing when he comes in, but I know he might cry.”
“I might cry too,” Jungkook admits in a hushed voice.
Namjoon wipes at his eyes, and a silence hangs between them. They’re both sniveling on the receiving end. After Jungkook clears his throat and allows himself another sniffle, he starts eating again.
“What did you make?”
“I have a lot of rice left. I made bibimmyeon and pork belly, but I have some noodles, too, if you want me to make them. Come and eat with me if you’re free. Let’s celebrate.”
“Can I leave my bike outside?” Namjoon asks. Namjoon shuts off the shared laptop in the studio, grabs his puffer jacket and the book he’s been reading, heads over, and flips off the light switch. His phone remains on speaker as he locks the door and shoots a glance down the hallway. From a distance, Yoongi does a quick two-finger salute in passing. Namjoon’s heart gives a squeeze.
Jungkook thinks it over. He’s never seen anyone leave a bike outside. “I don't know, honestly. Bring it to my apartment; it’ll be fine. I have something to tell you, by the way,” he says, referring to the previous night.
“Just saw Yoongi,” Namjoon says, jingling the keys on his finger and making his way out of the building. “I have to tell him, but I think he’s already in his studio locked up. You know how he gets.”
“He won’t let you in,” Jungkook says, scrunching his nose and stifling a laugh through a mouthful of steak.
“Exactly. And what is it? I’m bringing my bike, I thought about leaving it chained, but it’ll stress me out.”
“He’s almost done with his demos, Hobi said the other day,” Jungkook replies. “But it’s about her, bro. You won’t believe me.”
Namjoon laughs through the phone. “Mystery-neighbor-crush her, you mean?”
“Neighbor stuff, am I that annoying? Don't answer that. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you; just come in because I have to wash Bam.”
“All right, bro, give me twenty, and I’ll be there.”
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Jungkook is sitting across from Namjoon, who raises an eyebrow at him as he chews on his steak. “So she came in here,” he swallows his bite and continues, “was on that couch?” he signals with his chopsticks, “and she went home after that?”
Jungkook nods. The moment he’s been dreading: admitting he chickened out. He’s not proud of himself and debates whether to omit a few things.
“Yeah, what else could’ve happened?” He takes a drink of his water, avoiding Namjoon’s gaze.
“So many things, bro. But, the very least that should have happened is that you got her number or something like that. Did you ask?”
Jungkook is quiet. His cheeks are flushing with heat. He’s chuckling at himself, remembering how he clammed up around her.
“You just let her leave, right? She walked out, thanked you, and you probably made her a tea she didn't drink.” Namjoon is laughing when Jungkook groans and shakes a fist above his head. “Ah, Jungkook!”
“I know!” Jungkook shakes his head. “But I got a name. I got a name; that’s something, isn't it?”
“Well?”
“It’s Rei. I don’t know where she’s from and all that, but that name just suits her, doesn't it?”
“It does, it does. But come on, bro! This girl lives so close!  For starters, she stuck around. She could've just left after explaining herself. Instead, she sat down right where you’re sitting and stayed .” Namjoon feeds himself rice as he shakes his head and continues while he chews, “She looked at you the last time we evacuated; I saw her. And how many times have you bumped into her already? She probably thinks you’re out to get her.”
“I know. I kept thinking the same. I thought: ‘She could've left by now, but she hasn’t. I don’t know, hyung, I just froze. I just kept nodding; it was so stupid.” Jungkook closes his eyes and places his fingertips over his eyelids, shaking his head in lament.
“Not stupid, bro,” Namjoon offers, swallowing his bite. “I’ve seen her around too, and she’s really pretty, but it’s a weird sensation when she’s nearby; it’s like her beauty is different. I don't mean it like I want her now, nothing like that, but it sort of feels like I am stuck too. Like, what can I say right now?”
Jungkook nods, understanding the sentiment. “It knocks the wind out of me sometimes when I see her,” he says, reaching for a napkin. “I wanted to say so much more, but I couldn't. It was different being close to her like we were. This girl is killing me, Namjoon-hyung. You said she looked at me?”
Namjoon smiles warmly. “She did, at the evacuation a week ago. Was it a week now?” He wipes at his mouth and looks at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook nods at him. “Well, a week ago, I went out last and caught her looking your way. She had her hand like this,” he brings his hand up to shield his eyes against nothing, “and she was smiling. She didn't see me noticing.”
Jungkook scoots closer. He rests his chin on Namjoon’s knee, looking straight at him until he’s cross-eyed. “At me?” he asks, loving that this happened.
Namjoon shakes his leg free and takes a sip of his water. “I think she likes you. She was looking at you the same way I’ve seen you look at her,” Namjoon reaches for his phone, checks a text, and continues, “so she would’ve been into you. Did she flirt with you?”
Jungkook mulls it over. He doesn't want to read too much into it, but he thinks she did flirt. “I could be wrong, and I’d hate to be wrong,” he says, “but I feel like she was into me, like, actually into me, and I thought about kissing her. Would that have been too forward?”
“Hmm,” Namjoon says as he chews his food. “Maybe. I have to see you two in action, to say. I think you can trust your gut, and if you felt that way, maybe she was giving you those vibes on purpose, you know? Sometimes girls are so forward that it's confusing. Like, ‘am I reading this wrong?’ When the whole time there was only one way to read it.” He gives his head a light shake.
“She was talkative like Yoongi predicted.”
“Oh, was she now?” Namjoon looks surprised. “I sided with Jimin when he said she seemed shy and kind of mean. Not mean, but you know the mean look girls have that makes them look kind of cool?”
Jungkook nods with a mouthful of steak.
“That’s actually interesting that she was talkative. That’s good. I think you’d do bad to get with a shy chick again.”
Jungkook once dated a girl in high school he didn't know how to talk to, and when he meant to break things off, he’d just ignored her for the entire year. She was too shy, too quiet, too reserved. He was everything else but.
“I agree with you on that,” Jungkook says honestly. “Back to Rei, she’s even prettier up close, hyung. I thought I was in a dream, that sounds so cheesy, but it’s true.”
“It was, what, four in the morning?”
“Three. Close to four.”
“Exactly. I would think that's a dream too. Seems like it. Are you sure you’re not messing with me?” Namjoon elbows Jungkook lightly.
“I want her. Is that so pathetic?”
“A little bit,” Namjoon teases, bringing his thumb and pointer finger to a slight pinch. “Like this tiny little space right here is where you live.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes as he walks into the kitchen for a beer.
“Honestly, Jungkook, I think she likes you back. Pass me the rice. Want some of the steaks?” He shows Jungkook his bowl, and Jungkook accepts, opening his mouth to be fed. “You can feed yourself.”
“Ah,” Jungkook says, mouth agape. “Just one piece.”
Namjoon is feeding Jungkook rice when the doorbell rings. The two exchange bewildered looks, and Jungkook shuffles from the ground, sliding on the flooring with his socks as he peers through the peephole. He falls to the ground as if shot, crouching with a deathly look about him.
Namjoon shifts in his seat on the floor and, stretching his neck, asks Jungkook who it is. Over and over, quietly, he’s asking who’s at the door.
Jungkook doesn't answer until Namjoon stands. He shoots a hand up to grab Namjoon’s sleeve, motioning him to crouch beside him. Whispering, he says, “It’s Rei; what do I do?”
“Get up!”
“I can't. I can't. I don't know what she wants. What if she knows?”
“Knows what? Get up; I’m opening the door in 3, 2,...”
Jungkook stands. He can feel his heart beating viciously, and his hands are sweating. He glares at Namjoon, raising his hand and motioning for a cutthroat. “I’ll kill you,” he mouths as his friend walks away.
Jungkook peers into the peephole and sees her turning away. He pulls back the door quickly, causing her to turn around. She smiles, and he wants her all over again. His relaxed demeanor vanished. “Hey, what’s going on?” are his first words.
Rei laughs, and he can feel himself blushing. He drops his head when he remembers Namjoon is a witness.
“Hey, neighbor,” she says, smiling the same coy smile she lent him last night. She pulls a paper from her pocket, extends it to him, and says, “It’s an invite to my birthday party this weekend; if you don't have any plans, I thought it would be nice to hang out and see you again. I’ll have friends over, and of course, you can bring yours.”
A party? Wait, see me again?? “I will be there. This weekend. I’ll make an appearance.” He stops talking when she laughs. He can feel the blood boiling on his face. What the hell is going on with him? “Sorry, yes, I mean, thank you.” Jungkook can feel Namjoon’s burning gaze behind him—he can picture how his friend stifles a laugh into his fist.
“No problem. Who’s that?” She points inside the apartment.
Namjoon waves when Jungkook turns around to see him standing behind him, a smirk tugging at his lips. Jungkook widens his eyes at him, mouthing for him to stop laughing. Stepping aside for his friend’s introduction, Jungkook signals toward his friend with a swift movement of his hand. “Namjoon, this is Rei. Rei, this is Namjoon, a good friend and gifter of bonsai trees.”
“I’ve seen you, no?” she talks to Namjoon, who nods, flexing his pointer finger, indicating that she has. He’s chewing cheese puffs, and Jungkook raises an eyebrow at him, silently questioning him: ‘Where did you get those?’ His stare says.
“At the evacuation, I was there.”
“Ah, yes, you had bright green hair like a highlighter pen then.”
He laughs. “That was me, yeah! You were with that girl, the…one with the red hair in pigtails.”
“Ah. That’s right! You have a good memory.” She sounds impressed.
Jungkook tongues his cheek, shaking his head beside them unnoticed.
“You too, you too. Cheese puff?” Namjoon offers a bag of cheese puffs.
“You’re tempting me, but I will have to decline. I just had lunch.”
“Your friend, the one with the pigtails, will she be at this party?”
Namjoon is nervous, but he plays it off well. Only Jungkook can tell.
“I think she can be there,” Rei replies, her eyes shifty and full lips pursing. She seems to think it over, anxiously looking at Jungkook and chewing on her lower lip. It’s as though she’s waiting for Jungkook to glance her way. Only Namjoon is seeing this.
Jungkook is annoyed. They’re talking so easily. He shifts uncomfortably, his fingers gripping the door. He watches how Namjoon chuckles and how she timidly looks down at her hands. The glittery nail polish made his heart feel like a stone in his chest. He wants to interject. But how?
“I’m sure the guys will be free this weekend too; we might celebrate our little accomplishment here sometime soon, so Jungkook can tell you about that and invite you when the time comes, right, Jungkook?”
Jungkook only nods. That’s all he seems to be capable of when she’s around. He feels so strange around her. He feels the same way each time, like he’s coming down with something suddenly. Didn’t it just get so hot out here with the door open like this? He wonders. Is anyone else sweating?
Their voices continue around him. He nods a few times when the conversation shifts toward him, but he feels lightheaded. He wants her so badly.
He doesn’t mean to, but he clears his throat, turning the conversation around him to a simmer.
“So, Jungkook, Namjoon told me he’d come this weekend and bring your other friends. There’s a theme, by the way.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “It’s fairytale-themed!” She raises her arms above her head like a big reveal and holds her pose, awaiting their reaction.
Namjoon laughs, turning away; he says: “I’ll give it good thought! Thank you for the invite, Rei!”
“And you?” She looks at Jungkook.
“Me?” Jungkook swallows hard at a lump in his throat. His brain seems to forget how to form sentences when she’s around.
“Yes, you. Do you have any ideas, JK?” she smiles, lopsided.
Is she flirting with me? Here? Namjoon-hyung! Come back!
“I have to rewatch all of my favorite fairytale movies to have an idea,” he says, bringing a hand to his head. He feels the heat emitting from his forehead. “I’m kidding. I think something cool like Dracula.”
“Is that a fairytale?” She laughs.
“Define a fairytale. Isn’t it just make-believe?”
“You don’t think vampires are real?” She raises an eyebrow at him, but he can tell she’s intentionally giving him a hard time. Her smile is surfacing and betraying her.
“I do, actually. Ah, okay. Give me time. I’ll think of something. What about you? Who are you going as?”
She pretends to think it over even though she already has an idea. “I won’t say; you’ll have to see.”
He’s fully leaning against the doorframe, his foot slipping under him, and he almost falls over. He mutters something to himself, and she’s biting back a laugh. “You want tea or something before you go? If you’re not busy.”
“Ah, I want to say yes, but my friends are upstairs; I just stopped by real quick but thank you.”
He nods. “That’s okay, next time.”
“I’ll catch you two later,” she says, waving.
She turns to walk away, and Jungkook doesn't know what takes over him, but he shouts after her: “Thank you!”
He’s too embarrassed to see if she turns around. He closes the door immediately.
He doesn't even want to look at Namjoon. He stands facing the door for a while, his head hanging low, eyebrows scrunched up in physical anguish. He chews his lip and winces at himself, remembering.
“I said that out loud,” Jungkook says, incredulous with himself.
“You said that out loud,” Namjoon reiterates from somewhere in the room.
Sighing, Jungkook turns over, and flinches at a grape Namjoon tosses at him. His nose scrunching, he catches another grape mid-air and chews noisily. “She wants to know me properly,” he says, with a dreamy air.
“So be her prince charming,” Namjoon jokes, plopping down on his couch, busy on his phone.
“So I will be,” Jungkook says, tilting his head back to look up at his ceiling. She’s up there, walking around, talking to her friends, and he’s beneath her, dreaming of the weekend. “What day is it?”
“Wednesday.”
“Let’s go; I need an outfit.”
“Now?”
“Now, get up! Get up!”
“Let me finish my grapes; I just washed them,” Namjoon whines, still not glancing from his phone’s screen.
“Okay, but after, we’ll go.” Jungkook walks into his room, grabs his glasses, and steps back out.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Jungkook nods, biting the corner of his lip distractedly. “Oh, I’m serious.” He reaches for the car keys on the table beside him. “I’ve never been more serious.”
And he is. He’s never been more serious about anything else. He wants Rei, but he wants her to want him, too. He can’t help but feel as though his luck is turning out.
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taglist: @vsualitae​
A/N: thank you for being here! I hope those that looked forward to the full first chapter have enjoyed this! It's my first lengthy fic, as I've already stated, so any feedback is greatly appreciated! reblogs, comments, and anything that lets me know you've enjoyed this will make me the happiest writer :') I appreciate you for giving my work a shot <3 Let me know if you'd like a second part, what you liked, etc. I'd love to hear from you, reader >.< until next time!!
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filtharchives · 7 months
Text
omg my first fanfic since middle school but rambling with @sugar-omi sm inspired me to try again
i’m literally gonna throw up !!!!!! also this is my first time writing smut so it's bad sorry if it feels super rushed–it’s because it is! I wrote it before my next lecture 🙈
oh! and happy birthday cove! ♡
edit: took down the first time i posted this bc i rlly did not like it but ended up not editing
summary: cove x reader - cove doesn’t like losing but you drive a hard bargain
tags: NSFW, fem/afab reader, high libido!reader, sub cove, prolly ooc, use of aphrodisiacs, handcuffs, p in v, dick riding in cowgirl position, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill i swear but always wrap it up!) idk what else i’ve only ever posted on wattpad i never used tags like this lol
it had been a few months since you and cove moved into your new apartment together and needless to say, you had gained a lot of sexual experience since then.
though you weren’t at the point of fucking like animals, ever since the two of you first went “all the way”, it had opened a new door in your relationship, and without the fear of getting caught by your families, he’d become much more clingier and practically always had a hand somewhere on your body, which sometimes led to a little more than just heavy petting.
in an effort to be a little more adventurous, you had proposed a fun challenge to cove: you would both take an aphrodisiac chocolate you found at a local sex boutique, and whoever could go the longest without touching themselves or the other would win and, naturally, the winner gets to choose the loser’s punishment.
cove nearly burst into flames at the idea of taking a drug that would make him horny–it was embarrassing enough getting turned on naturally–but it also excited him and his competitive streak, so he agreed, which led you to now.
cove squirmed uncomfortably on one corner of the couch, trying to focus on the nature documentary on the tv while you leaned back against the other corner, watching him with a smug smirk on your lips. you may have felt a little guilty setting up your boyfriend like this–your high libido gave you the heavy advantage of being very horny throughout the day even when you couldn’t act on it, whereas your poor boyfriend had less moments of neediness and was therefore not used to feeling so desperate–but it was too fun watching him sit so uncomfortably, and you knew the pay off would be worth it.
“you having fun there, cove?” you ask teasingly, languidly running a hand through your hair. cove offers a small grumble while shifting his jeans to try and make his hard on more comfortable, before deciding that wasn’t enough and adds,
“n-no…” his response makes your smirk widen.
“you know, there’s no shame in surrender~”
cove pouts at you, torn between his determination to win, and his desire to finally be able to blow a load. his stubbornness is amusing, but you want to get to the good part, so you lean forward on the couch until you have to support yourself on your arms, ensuring cove has a good view of your chest from your low-cut shirt.
“if you give up now, i promise to be nice with your punishment,” you purr, slowly crawling closer to him. even without the drug, cove was obsessed with your chest, but the aphrodisiac running through him made his eyes zero in on it. he gulps loudly and you stop in front of him.
“y-you promise…?” he asks shakily, tearing his eyes away from the tantalizing sight to meet yours. you grin in victory, sitting on your knees and slipping off your top to push him over the edge.
“i promise~”
at your words, cove concedes and practically launches himself forward, his hands landing roughly on your hips and his mouth finds your lips before trailing kisses down your neck. before he can reach your tits, however, you gently push him back by his shoulders, getting wetter at the sight of his disappointed, puppy-like gaze.
“you lose,” you say with a mocking smile. “now you have to be punished.”
cove’s eyes are already watering by the time he’s handcuffed to the bed by cheap plastic from your old halloween costumes, laying naked and flat against the mattress helplessly as you stand in front of him, removing your shorts and underwear at a painfully slow pace. his dick is so hard it hurts, twitching uselessly against his stomach as his gaze never leaves your body.
“please…” he whimpers, his hips rolling once into nothing. “please touch me already…”
“you don’t get to make demands when you lost the game,” you taunt with a smile, but you crawl on top of him anyways, straddling his hips with your hot sex so close to his, he could feel it. he whines your name.
“you promised to be nice…” he says pitifully.
“i did, didn’t i?” you pretend to ponder before lowering your hips and grinding your wet cunt against the underside of his dick, drawing out a long, relieved moan from him. the thick vein on the underside feels so delicious against you, you let out a shaky sigh. your hands rest on the sides of his chest as you roll your hips against him, your forefingers rubbing his perky nipples making him pant.
“stop teasing,” cove begs. “more… i…”
“what? what do you want from me, cove?” you ask coyly, grinding particularly hard and biting back a soft moan as his tip catches your clit.
“i-i… please just- just fuck me already!” he cries.
“y’ lucky i already prepped,” you mutter, lifting yourself off him and reaching one hand down to line him up. cove nearly sobs in relief as you slowly lower yourself down on his length, both your hands on his chest again as you reach the hilt.
“f-fuck…” he gasps softly, feeling your warmth encase him entirely. he nearly sobs again when you lift up your hips until he’s almost entirely out, just for you to slam down on him again, marking the start of a brutal pace he was not prepared for at all.
“w-wait! you- that-” he starts, only to be cut off again and again by his own moans and disoriented thoughts, before he can finally string together a thought and a cry of your name. “too much!”
still, you don’t slow down, bouncing on his dick easily with the help of the springy mattress below you. your hands move to his legs as you lean back, giving cove a clear sight of where your bodies meet and how your combined arousal has left a milky ring on the base of his dick with a few stray drops sitting on his seafoam bush. he doesn’t even have the ability to thrust back up into you, letting you use him like a glorified dildo as tosses his head back on the pillow behind him, only to lean forward again to watch you. his moans match yours and the pace you’ve set, the sound of your ass slapping against his hips echoing in the bedroom and his eyes drifting all over your body, lingering on your face, tits, and cunt.
“o-oh, fuck…!” cove hisses loudly. “h-honey… please, let me touch you…!”
“n… nuh uh,” you grin down at him. “y-you lost, so… you gotta put up with this- oh, fuck-!” the coil in your belly is close to snapping, and you can tell from how he twitches inside you that cove is close as well. you pick up the pace, crying out when his tip hits your cervix. cove calls out your name like a mantra.
“i- ‘m gonna…” cove chokes out through his moans.
“do it,” you pant. “cum in- oh!” your cunt squeezes him in surprise as his wrists break free from the cheap plastic handcuffs and his hands tightly grasp your hips and he plants his feet on the bed to thrust up into you just as he wanted while you lose control.
“f-fuck!” you cry out as you do your best to support yourself on cove’s chest, eyes rolling back from his breakneck pace and his balls slapping your ass. it only takes a few seconds for you both to reach your climaxes and you loudly moan cove’s name as he shakily groans, his cum painting your insides white. you don’t even have a moment to collect yourself before cove rolls the two of you over, still sheathed inside you and not any less hard. he hovers over you with a wolfish grin, some of his sweat dripping onto you.
“your game and punishment weren’t fair, so it’s my turn to pay you back, okay?” he says darkly. “and i like doing it without the condom. we should do it more often.”
oh, you would definitely do this more often
this was not up to my standards but that's okay! warm up round 💪💪💪 we only get better from here baby let’s go
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adorethedistance · 2 years
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Birthday Girl (3) - Hughes!Reader x Trevor Zegras
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Hockey Masterlist
Warnings: swearing, teasing, embarrassment, etc.
Words: 2569 (nice)
Summary: Your birthday celebration is under threat by the impending doom that is Trevor Zegras's presence.
A/N: I’m sorry this part took so long but considering that it’s double the length of the other parts I think it’s a lil justified. maybe. 
“What the fuck?”
“SHHHH!” I urge Chelsea to be quiet after telling her everything that happened in the kitchen with Trevor a minute ago.
“Sorry, sorry. And you think he was hitting on you?” She whisper-yells with the utmost urgency.
“I know he was, a million percent. He was biting the apple all mysteriously and giving me just these piercing eyes and then he leaned in really close and- he actually smelled really good…” When I trail off into the thought of how it felt to have Trevor that close to me, I nearly miss the mischievous look Chelsea is giving me. She’s biting back a smile, her head tilted provocatively.
“What! What? What?”
“And are we feeling… positive? About this interaction?”
I pause. She’s staring at me with a suggestive expression but I’m not sure how to interpret this look. What is she trying to say?
“...Yeah. I think so? Why do you ask?” Has she known the whole time?
“Because we know you like him.”
“I’m sorry, ‘we’?” It’s my turn to whisper-yell as Chelsea reveals this troubling information to me. She nods slowly, pulling out her phone from her back pocket.
“Leia and I have been talking about it for a while now but we were wondering when you were gonna notice.” When she hands it to me, her phone is open on an instagram DM conversation between just her and Leia about how Trevor and I were acting in the car.
He’s totally flirting with her 
 OMG he asked if she would wear his jersey 💀 
And you’re sure it wasn’t legit teasing?
No bc why was he looking at her like he wanted to ravage her right there
Wasn’t Jack IN the car?
AND luke
Jesus
“Okay, I get it, but I don’t wanna like him!” I whine and rub my eyes in frustration while handing Chelsea her phone.
“Which I’m guessing is why you pretended to hate him for so long, but you know it’s okay if you do like him after all.” She gives me a reassuring smile and grabs my hand to hold in her own. Gently, Chelsea squeezes my hand, a physical way for her to ask, ‘what’s the verdict?’.
“...He’s really cute. I don’t want to like him but I’m completely head over heels. If he asked to respectfully shove his tongue down my throat I think I’d say yes,” I confess, slightly defeated but also giddy with excitement. I guess this means I can tell them everything I’ve dreamt up about Trevor for as long as I can remember. “I was just afraid to tell you and Leia because I thought about how Jack would react or what his friends would say and-” Chelsea cuts off my rambling,
“But we’re not Jack.”
“Who’s not Jack?” Chelsea and I jump at the sound of Luke’s voice after he swings open my door abruptly.
“Jesus christ Luke you scared the shit out of me! What do you want?”
“Who’s not Jack?” He parrots in the hope that, by ignoring my question, his will be answered.
“Leia and I aren’t Jack,” Chelsea answers gracefully with no extra information to keep my thing for Trevor as concealed as possible. My feelings for him grow exponentially with time. I don’t think Luke can fully blame me, I mean… has he seen Trevor?
“Well, the game is over and mom told me to tell you so you two could have the tv room.”
“Yes, finally!” I declare and begin gathering my things, as does Chelsea. Pillow, blanket, drink, snack, phone, a hoodie to put on, and we’re all good.
“Thank you, Moose,” I blow sarcastic kisses at Luke when I walk by to which he pantomimes swatting them onto the floor. Ever the affectionate one, Luke sticks his tongue out at me before turning to Chelsea to smile softly.
“I saw that!” I yell over my shoulder as I begin towards the downstairs den. I hear Chelsea’s familiar, contagious laugh follow as she leaves my room. When I look back I see her gently circumvent Luke’s figure in the doorway ignoring his attempt to flirt with her. It’s a running joke that Luke has had a thing for Chelsea since his freshman year, but in reality he’s never been interested in any of my friends.
___________________________
After finishing a few episodes of Our Flag Means Death, Chelsea and I are trying to find ways to combat boredom when suddenly the doorbell rings.
“Leia!” We screech as we run to the door to let in our missing trio member. Throwing the door wide open we greet her with a big hug.
“You two are acting like I came back from the war.”
“I was so worried about you falling ill in the trenches, my love,” Chelsea says in an exaggerated transatlantic accent, placing the back of her hand against her forehead in distress.
“Glad you have all your limbs, now come on, I want to start the movie already!” I urge her to hurry up in taking off her shoes before the three of us go skipping to the tv room.
“She did it!” Chelsea says to Leia in a hushed tone. The random comment catches both of us off guard and I only realize what exactly she’s saying when it’s too late to stop her. “Y/n caved and then confessed to liking him.”
“And I missed it?!” Leia yells, quickly looking between me and Chelsea.
“Yeah, but now we’re trying to find a way for them to link without Jack knowing.”
“We are not doing that at all. What are you talking about?” I interject in surprise.
“I am at least,” Chelsea says. The three of us laugh before resuming our path to the den. We’re invested in the story Leia is telling about the one “bitchass coworker” who thinks she’s Leia’s superior because “she’s that kind of boomer”. When we get to the tv room we stop abruptly to see Jack, Trevor, and Luke sprawled out on the couch amidst all the stuff Chelsea and I left behind.
“Can we help you?” I ask suspiciously upon seeing them on the couch, a lot comfier than I’d prefer.
“No, we’re fine,” Trevor says slyly before returning his attention to the show they had put on in the two minutes Chelsea and I stepped out. I narrow my eyes at him and defensively cross my arms. He just smirks and accepts the challenge.
“Okay, well, we’re going to watch a movie so if you could just leave.”
“Mom said you have to share the tv room,” Luke states plainly. I bite my lip as I rack my brain to try and come up with a rebuttal that would get them to leave. I come up with nothing and exhale a heavy sigh before surrendering,
“Fine, but I want my spot.” I approach the couch and then stand right in front of Trevor, waiting for him to move out of the way so I can sit. He stares at me, arrogantly smiling before looking me up and down with only his eyes. The nerve of this boy.
“You’re the worst. Can I please sit in my spot?” I ask as politely as I can manage with him right now.
“As you wish, Hughesy.” He obliges. The look he’s giving me is troublesome but I decide not to engage with it since that would best preserve my peace of mind. Trevor scooches to the left, allowing me to sit in the right corner, and in doing so, Jack half-nudges and half-shoves Luke onto the floor where Leia and Chelsea are settling in.
“What are we watching, ladies?” Trevor asks, charming as ever. I’d gag if I wasn’t secretly hoping he was flirting with me.
“Knives Out,” Leia answers matter-of-factly.
“Again?”
“What do you mean ‘again’?” I ask, confused by the nature of Trevor’s response. He shrugs slightly before answering, looking between me and my friends as he talks.
“I just mean you guys were watching it last time I was over. And the time before that, actually.” He says it so nonchalantly but I’m left staring at him, my lips parted a tiny bit out of shock. When I look at Leia and Chelsea, Leia merely shrugs off the remark as she gets up to put the movie in the DVD player, but Chelsea catches my eye. When she does, I can tell she’s thinking the exact same thing I am.
Trevor noticed me- I mean us enough clock what we were watching every time he’s come over.
I lean back into the cushion of the couch to try and relax since I’m visibly tense due to the sudden realization. Has he really been paying attention to me this whole time? How did I not notice? Or did I notice but just chalked it up to him hating me as well? Do people even pay this much attention to people they hate?
___________________________
The credits roll after the iconic final shot of the movie and the room errupts in chatter after the long silence.
“I’m gonna use the bathroom,” Trevor announces as he rises from his place on the couch.
“Could you go make some popcorn?” Chelsea asks, her voice innocent and sweet.
“But the movie’s over…?”
“And I want more popcorn.”  Her tone is unassuming but I know exactly what she’s doing. As I stand up, Leia asks Luke and Jack a slew of random hockey questions that I know she knows the answers to. She’s likely just talking to my brothers to keep them engaged and get their attention away from the fact that Trevor and I are about to be the only ones out of the room.
God, I have such good friends.
Climbing the stairs at a decent speed, I slow down at the top to turn my head slightly, listening in on whether Jack and Luke are falling for the ploy. When I reach the top stair I turn my attention back to the direction I’m heading. I scamper over to the kitchen, gasping out of fear when I see Trevor posted against the countertop, waiting in the kitchen instead of using the restroom as he had declared. He hushes me gently before pressing off the counter and making his way over to me. My heart is beating 100 miles an hour but whether that’s from the fright or the fact that Trevor is approaching me right now, I’m not sure.
“I was hoping you’d come up but I didn’t know if you’d gotten the hint or not.”
“Gotten the hint?”
“What?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You know, like, gotten the hint as in you’d know to come up here-”
“No, Trevor, I know that. I mean why are you ‘giving hints’?” He doesn’t respond immediately, and instead, smiles goofily at me.
“Say it again.”
“...Why are you giving hints?” I say with the inflection that indicates I don’t know why he wants me to repeat myself.
“No, not the question.”
“Huh?”
“I like the way you say my name. Say it again?”
“Trevor.” He just smiles. “Trevor,” I say again sternly, breaking the bliss he was clearly experiencing in that moment.
“What’s up?”
“Why were you hoping I would get the idea to follow you?” I pensively scan his expression. He looks down to the ground, seemingly collecting himself for a moment. After a second he looks back up and says,
“I overheard you and Chelsea earlier.” Fuck.
“Which part?” My hands are undoubtedly shaking right now and I’m not even sure if I want the answer.
“I only heard a few words here and there but I did hear you confess.”
“Confess what exactly?”
“That you think I’m really cute-”
“Oh my go-”
“And that you’ve only been pretending to hate me all this time.” Trevor cuts me off before taking a step toward me. The fact that he’s standing so close to me makes my brain fog up and suddenly I’m not having any thoughts other than incoherent screams. In classic Trevor fashion, he moves with an unjustified amount of confidence as he places his hands on both of my hips to pull my body flush against his. My breathing shallows once again and I’m left with nothing but the scent of his gorgeous cologne and the warmth of his hands on my sides.
This is a joke, this is a joke, this is a joke. There is absolutely no way this is actually happening. In a second, he’s just going to pull away and Jack will be standing in the doorway, recording the whole thing, ready to make fun of me by holding this footage over my head for as long as I live.
Afraid my anxieties might actually be correct, I glance over to the doorway where I’m met with the sight of emptiness, no friends or brothers around to bother us. Which means that right here, and right now, it’s just me and Trevor.
This is actually happening.
“I take it you’ve been pretending to hate me, too?” I ask all of a sudden, unsure of where my voice came from or if it will be back for long.
“I’ve just been playing along with your game because you’ve been so hellbent on making sure I knew you didn’t like me. I never hated you, for real or pretend. And for what it’s worth, I think you’re really cute too.”
“Really?”
“Really?” He mocks my voice in a higher pitch and I playfully smack his chest. Trevor’s eyes never leave mine as he grabs the offending hand to hold for just a moment before he places it back on his toned chest. I seize the opportunity to grasp a bunch of his heather-grey t-shirt in my hand before lifting up onto my toes to kiss him once and for all. Trevor easily gives into the kiss, his lips are as soft and welcoming as I’d dreamt of. In the kiss, he slides his hands from their place on my hips to caress my lower back and my stomach erupts in butterflies at his warm touch. Pulling away from the kiss we stare at each other with a soft look that is both infatuated and forgiving for all the disconnect we’ve shared up until this point.
“What? Was I not the most amazing kiss you’ve ever had?” He asks arrogantly incredulous.
“See, this? This is why it was so easy for me to pretend to hate you for as long as I did.”
“Oh it was easy huh?” he asks with challenge in his voice but pure elation in his eyes.
“Yeah actually it was,” I sass back.
“Okay, sure. What was it you were saying earlier? Did you- you wanted me to shove my tongue down your throat?”
“Respectfully!” I clarify to try and deflate his point.
“Right right right. Well how about you let me buy you dinner first, yeah?”
“Works for me.” As I finish carrying the bit, Trevor and I share a contented, love-struck look of happiness. Just as our conversation enters a lull, my phone starts buzzing in my back pocket. I take it out to silence it and stop the alarm from continuing to ring.
“It’s midnight.”
“Happy birthday, Y/n.”
“Thank you, Trevor.”
“So Saturday. Pick you up at 7?”
“I’d like that.”
“Then it’s a date, Hughes.”
***
A/n: I really hope y’all enjoyed following along with this series with me I know I had a lot of fun writing it. Stay tuned for potential part 4 where Y/n and Z have to navigate what it’s like to date amidst the friendship of the three Hughes brothers.
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nicolesainz · 1 year
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True soulmates (BC 21)
Ben Chilwell x reader
Warnings: mostly fluff, mentions of sex, angst, (Lance Stroll is mentioned as the ex boyfriend, sorry to all my Lance girlies)
Summary: what can a footballer give you more that your ex boyfriend couldn’t? what can one find in the arms of an childhood friend?
“Either you tell me the truth or you’ll never see me again!” Lance’s hand was on the door knob, waiting to be unlocked.
“What can’t you understand? Me and Ben are simply friends. I’ve known him my whole life!” I shout to his face, clearly being pointed as the liar once again.
“And that’s the problem! He’s too comfortable around you that thinks he can flirt with you even when I’m in the same room!” He is pulling his hair from frustration, trying not to scream.
“He isn’t flirting! Lance, come on. We’ve been together for two years. Ben is old enough to know what’s right or wrong”
“I tolerated him for two years and that’s enough. If I can’t reason neither of you, then there’s no point in us being together anymore” Lance’s words are bitter. They instantly hurt.
I don’t move. I only let my hot tears run down my cheeks, pooling my eyes and causing them to take a light shade of red.
“Even when we are away at races, he still somehow manages to capture your attention more than I do.”
His words may stab me like a knife but are true. Me and Ben were attached to the hip ever since I can remember. If I am not spending time with my family or Lance, it's definitely around Ben or along with his teammates. When I am with Lance on a race weekend, Ben and I tend to FaceTime a lot, because I skip a lot of his games with Chelsea.
That's when Christian's words echo once again in my brain
"You two are the definition of true soulmates. Completing each other."
"Do I lack in something? Is there something I can't give you that he can? Please tell me, Y/N!" the pleading Canadian's eyes were full in pain and lost all possible faith in me.
Lance has been nothing but an absolute sweetheart to me all those years. Introduced me from the very first moment to his friends, family, fellow f1 drivers. He has made me feel so many wonderful emotions, such as happiness, joy, pride, excitement.
And many more emotions but not one...that is love.
“I’m sorry Lance. I truly am.” I lower my head and let the tears drop on the floor. Why did this had to happen?
I can see his shadow approaching me and his fingers under my chin, raising my head so I can look him in the eyes. He isn’t mad. He looks disappointed and also sad. I feel awful for causing him pain.
“I didn’t want to make you feel like this! I swear if I could turn back time, I-“
“It’s okay. I am the one who’s sorry. I feel like you were wasting your time with me, when you should have been with someone else.”
“That’s not the case Lance! I love you. So very much.”
“Just not the way you love him”
It was the bitter truth. The comfort and security Ben made me feel was like no other. I always knew that my love for him was something special. I just had to bury it deep down and lock it up for the sake of our friendship.
“I know you love me Y/N. And I do too. I’ve spent two amazing years with you. You’ve been immense support to me. When everyone talked shit about me, you were the one to talk them down and defend me. That’s something I’ll forever cherish”
“And I will continue doing so. Whoever ends up in your arms, I hope she’s the one. No matter what, I will be a call away”
Lance wraps me into a final hug. I inhale deeply and close my eyes as I exhale. The pain was out of my body. If I could repay him in any way, I would do it in a heartbeat.
“If you ever feel like coming to a race again, hit me up. I’ll be more than happy to see you around. The guys too.”
“Of course. Keep an eye for me on the paddock. Good luck on everything. Goodbye Lance”
“Go tell him the truth. I’m sure there’s a happy ending awaiting”
————————————————————————
I look the time at my phone, 15:30. Since I was still in Silverstone, I had to travel all the way back to Cobham. He was still in training. I couldn’t show up at his house unannounced.
On the way back, silence is almost deafening so I decide to call the player I know is in practice but will surely pick up
“To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I’m coming over Chris. Don’t tell it to anyone and especially Ben”
“Uhhh, aren’t you supposed to be in Silverstone with Lance? What happened”
“I made a huge mistake. To which you helped me realize and Lance”
“Wait, did you guys brake up? And what did I do?”
“Nothing bad Puli. Don’t worry. Just helped me realize the truth”
“Oi, who’s on the phone? New girl captain?” I can hear Ben from the other side of the line, approaching Christian
“I’m hanging up. Don’t tell anyone!” And I immediately close the line. If Ben knew I was coming back he’d start calling me, asking questions I can’t possibly answer from the phone.
There are a million questions going back and forth in my mind right now.
What will Ben say?
Will he laugh at me?
Will he ever talk to me again?
Will we even be friends after this?
Will he hate me?
The list goes on as I finally reach the training center. Now it’s 17:00 and about time they finish practice.
I see Mason with Christian and Ben in the middle of their group. Christian is the first one to eye me, nudging Mason, who has a questioned look on his face.
Finally, Ben realizes his friends have gone quiet and raises his head and my heartbeat too.
“Y/N? Are you okay? What happened?” Ben rushes towards me, abandoning Mason and Christian.
“Aren’t you supposed to be two hours away in Silverstone?” Mason asks but before I could answer Christian drags him away
“We will talk later Ben. Text us when you get home” the American says as he walks away with his fellow British footballer, whispering something in his ear
I can’t feel my legs. My throat and mouth are all dried up. My stomach is tangled and my heart is racing faster than any car.
“You’re literally shaking. Did something happen between you and Lance? Did he hurt you?”
“No” is the only word I manage to utter. Great!
“No he didn’t hurt you or no nothing happened?”
“He didn’t hurt me” I can’t even look him in the eyes
“So something else happened?”
It’s now or never!
“We broke up. We had a fight. We ended things in good term and he told me to come here.”
“Why did you guys break up? And is he stupid? He kicked you out?”
“He didn’t kick me out. He suggested I came here and give you some explanations”
“Me? What did I do? Why do I need explanations?”
Oh god. This is horrifying.
“Ben, the reason we broke up is because i don’t love him”
“Oh”
“I love you”
And terror rushes all over my body.
He isn’t saying anything.
I am starting to get even more scared.
“Y/N..”
“I’m sorry Ben. You had to know. It’s totally okay if you don’t feel the same way. First and foremost I want us to remain friends. We’ve known each other so many years that I’d be a pity to ruin everything over a silly thing I said”
“I don’t find it silly at all” he finally says
Ben raises my head by placing two fingers under my chin. Once he takes a look at my teary red eyes and quivering lips, he brings his lips onto mine, placing a soft kiss on them. He deepens the kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist. Instead of feeling suffocated, I feel even more alive than before.
It’s a kiss I’ve been dreaming of having with him. No one else but Ben. Years of anticipation and now this happens. Like a dream came true.
“This will sound extremely selfish but I couldn’t wait for the day you’d finally land in my arms” he whispers in my ear as I have my face cupped by his hands
“I couldn’t let myself fall in love with anyone else. Not when you are here. It felt so wrong and unfair.”
“You can’t even imagine how many nights I’ve spent sleepless, wanting to say those three words to you, Y/N”
“You can now”
“I love you. I will love you for as long as it takes. And will continue to do so. I’m sorry for not saying how I feel sooner. I could have had you in my arms way sooner”
“Well, as Christian said, we are true soulmates, so one way or another, we always were together.”
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gucciwins · 2 years
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Ok now i need to see bel and benito meet at his concert or something. I can also imagine harry pouting if he was there bc she is having the best time with her people but also if he couldn't make the concert with her and sees from different posts that she was there and maybe benito even took her to dance on stage for  Enséñame a bailar🤭
Bel has only ever felt this type of excitement before her boyfriend’s shows. She was always surrounded by their friends and kind fans all coming together to celebrate being themselves with no judgment. Tonight, though, she's among her people. Those who understand being different and the struggles of being under represented but not tonight. No, tonight they are all seen. From everyone on the floor to the top of the stadium.
Bel brought Sarai to the show with her. Naomi opted out saying she wanted the two of them to have time together. Not one to fight with what Naomi wants, that is how they ended up with floor seats of a sold-out stadium.
As the show was set to start soon, her phone rang. It was Harry.
“Damage control,” Sarai teased.
“Hola amor.” She greets cheerfully. 
“Bel why is there a photo of you and Benito circling the internet.” 
“Oh, he– we're friends.” 
“Since when?” Harry asks in disbelief. 
“A week ago, he reached out and he said he’s a fan of mine.” 
Harry sighs, feeling a pit in his stomach. 
“Don’t worry, H. He’s a friend.” 
“That’s why I’m worried. I started off as a friend and a fan. Now we’re dating.” Harry pouts. 
Bel giggles into the receiver, “I want you my English angel.” 
“Will you call me later when you get back to your hotel room?” 
“Course, mi amor. Te amo.” 
“Love you.” 
“Oh–I got you a shirt. Bye now.” And she hangs up as she and Sarai laugh at Harry’s call. He was so sweet but there was no reason to be jealous. It’s just that Bel hasn’t given him a reason to ever be jealous and now he’s feeling it because she asked him to come to the show he was just unavailable. 
The concert has been going amazing. Benito has a way of making it feel like he’s singing just to you. Bel and Sarai have not stopped dancing and singing since he came out for the first song. As the show is beginning to wind down to the last few songs the crowd is only getting louder. 
“Ahora, para esta canción quiero invitar a mi amiga a que venga a bailar conmigo. Y/N Belmonte, ¿dónde estás?” Sarai yells as Bentio just invited Bel to go on stage and dance with him. Sarai raises Bel’s hand, a security guard comes and takes her to the stage with Sarai following close behind because after being called out so publicly there is no way she can go back into the crowd. 
Being on stage is an entire new feeling, she has never done this before. Always watching shows from the crowd with Harry. The closest was backstage at Wembley with Anne and Gemma. Now Bel could swear she felt all the screams and cheers move through her. This was a beautiful sight to see as all the wristbands were lit up. 
And so Bel danced. She laughed with the dancers she had met earlier. All taking turns to pull her close or spin her around. The song seemed to end all too quickly. As the final notes played, Bentio came towards her offering her his hand bringing her in close to spin her around. She laughed as she thanked him. Benito instead thanked her, giving her a long hug before letting her go so she could leave the stage and enjoy the last few songs of the show from up close. Enséñame a Bailar would forever be her new favorite song.
Bel riding on her high didn’t realize how much her phone was blowing up. 
Harry texted her that he loved that she got to dance on stage. Was he jealous? Of course. Though he could see how happy Bel was and all he wants in life is to see her happy. Doesn’t mean he can’t be just a little silly?
Harry took to Instagram posting a photo that Sarai had taken of Bel on stage with a large smile on her face as hugged Benito onstage. He captioned it: “I love all of the fans so much but please stop sending me these pictures of my girlfriend wrapped around another man. This is not me.” 🫶 @y/nbelmonte take me next time
@harryfan HE DIDN’T 
@harryfan2 THE CAPTION — HE KNOWS. HE SEES IT ALL 
@belfan my girl is living her best life and i’m here for it. 
@mitchrowland i want bel to have custody of me 
@jeffazof well…i see why my phone is going crazy 
@naomii ohhh he’s jealous 
@y/nbelmonte i love you H. i got you a shirt
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jemmo · 11 months
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desperately trying to forget about the preview for next week's his man 2 eps and focus on the adorable junsungho date we finally got, but it's all my brain wants to dissect over and over. once again, seonwoo why? i absolutely don't understand what his goal in this show is or if he genuinely is even interested in anyone because i honestly don't feel an ounce of sincerity from that man. he went on a date with yoonghee out of politeness, and his main goal was to see if he could overcome their age gap right? yet, he's the one who kept bringing it up. it's also the way yoonghee kept asking him questions and giving him opportunities to give him some kind of clarity, but seonwoo just gave him roundabout answers in return. it annoys me that seonwoo keeps trying to string yoonghee along without cutting him off completely because he needs that attention and 'support' from him as he always says. on another note, he keeps saying sungho is "special" to him and okay maybe he is, but if so, why does it look more like he just wants to shake him up again when he noticed sungho's attention shift away from him a little? it just seems to me that not receiving a voice message from yoonghee and sungho must've hit seonwoo way too hard and he needs that validation back. sigh. i know we don't see everything that goes on in these hour long eps, but i feel like it's definitely enough for us to be able to get a grasp of their personality and character, and seonwoo is clearly playing with so many people's feelings. i just don't know what to expect anymore because seonwoo is going to continue playing these mind games with that big ego of his. god, i swear, the absolute mood swing i had from being excited and happy over sungho's voice message to my face literally falling as that preview played. this week of waiting is gonna be torture as always.
oh dear anon i am trying so hard not to think about the preview, or about seonwoo watching sungho and junsung cook and asking questions about their date and his reaction, or seonwoo calling sungho, bc sungho and junsung have such a good thing going on, and yet we and them can’t just be left with the memory of a nice date bc seonwoo has to ruin it by sticking his nose in again. im trying to be so reasonable when I watch it and not just shit on him for everything he does, bc maybe he does truly like sungho, I mean since their date he has called him consistently, but then you have people out here like hyungjin saying i shouldn’t have gone out on a date with anyone else so as not to give a wrong impression to them or the one person I like (even tho he left the message for seonwoo but that’s something else), and yet seonwoo goes out with yonghee for whatever reason, obligation, pity, curiosity, so he can’t be so committed to sungho as to shut down all other options yet, which at this point i feel like the people who are genuine are starting to be committed about who they like, but seonwoo just has to keep all these options open even when it appears he’s committing to sungho. and i don’t want to say that’s bad at the face of it, after all if sungho doesn’t go with seonwoo, it’s good to not have closed off every other option; i don’t like to subscribe to the belief that just bc you are devoted to going for one person, that your feelings are better or more worthy or anything, bc at the end of the day it’s sungho’s choice. what does annoy me is the lack of clarity with which seonwoo approaches every situation. I think the only time he’s only been kinda clear about anything was when he talked with junsung about exploring other options, but at least from what i recall, he’s never been clear to sungho and said I like you but I’m gonna keep talking to other people bc I don’t know how sungho then sees the situation, does he think seonwoo is committed to him or does he know about the other people he has ties to and would that change how he feels??
and I’m trying hard not to talk about him and yonghee’s again bc I’ve already ranted so much, but I will focus on that line he said at the end of their date, that he relies on yonghee bc his feelings never change. which is what he keeps on saying, that he gets support from yonghee and that he’s important. none of these are inherently romantic things and the thing is I think yonghee intents them to be romantic but seonwoo doesn’t see them that way, or more accurately he sees that intention but the way he is grateful for it isn’t romantic in return. and I can’t get over how fucked up it is to string someone along and use their affection as a comfort without giving that person any clarity in return. he’s literally using yonghee’s feelings to make himself feel better, feel reassured and comforted, and the reason why he won’t clarify his feelings and say there’s no romantic affection in return is bc he’s scared to lose yonghee’s affection bc it comforts him to much to know he’s so strongly and unwaveringly liked by this person. it’s literally what he wants the most, to be liked so much, and that’s why he can’t reject him even though there’s little to no way I think seonwoo feels anything romantic for him. like is that not fucked up?? to use someone like that??? to not give them that cutoff so they can move on to someone else just bc you want to feel good about yourself??? it’s the way yonghee is so sincere and genuine with his feelings and seonwoo is so plainly disingenuous in return. it’s the way he asks yonghee nothing about himself outside of his feelings for him, let’s yonghee spill his heart and says nothing in return, how he asks yonghee to ask him questions but gives him half baked answers that don’t give him enough to give him any insight on how he feels, but enough to keep him wondering. like it feels cruel, it feels like someone older making light of a young persons feelings as nothing but childish affection, and I don’t want to see yonghee being looked down at like that. I said before how seonwoo feels complicated looking at yonghee bc he has this confidence that comes from youth and less experience and fear and wishes he could’ve had that youth, but it’s bc I think he views it like that that he sees his feelings as childish, bc he is wistful for a time where he could’ve had this childish crush and felt like they were the most special thing in the world and been so bold and forward about it. and bc he doesn’t take those feelings seriously is another reason why he doesn’t reject him outright, bc he doesn’t think it warrants it even tho yonghee is putting his all into this. I don’t usually like to shit on age gaps bc age isn’t just a number but it’s also not a be all and end all, but it’s situations like this where they bother me, bc you can feel the imbalance, you can feel that the issue linger in the air where it doesn’t in other parings where a gap still exists. and i think yonghee’s youthful sincerity doesn’t match with the life experiences seonwoo has had, but also doesn’t match with the lack of emotional maturity he seems to have despite his age, and altogether it’s just so messy and not right and I can’t even say it’s good tv anymore bc I’d much rather see yonghee move onto other people than be stuck here. like sure seonwoo, make mess, it’s fun, but when it stops being fun and starts actually messing with people, that’s when I’m gonna start getting mad.
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fatuismooches · 11 months
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SMOOOCHES!!! Hiii darling! ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ꒱ა
This isn’t a story but really just me coming on here to talk so I hope you don’t mind! I’m sorry if it’s ever a bother or disturbs you! But I finally finished with all my exploration~! Well, I actually finished on the 10th of July (aka this month) BUT I felt a little shame to just come on here and say that I had finished I was too embarrassed;; but how has everything been? I hope you’re staying fresh in this blazing summer (it’s literally like 115° every single day here it’s unbearable for me and my dog) and also making the most out of it! I’m dreading going back to school in less than a month I’m not ready!!! (Leaks mentioned: ALSO HAVE YOU HEARD OF A SUPPOSED NEW DOTTORE SOUNDTRACK? It sounds so good AND IT MAY BE A CUTSCENE kinda like Kazuha’s friend or Makoto’s in the Archon Quests! I’m really hoping we get more lore on our boo boo Dottore he’s just so interesting!!) I also just recently read a VERY lengthy character analysis on him and oh mygskkd. It really helped me get to understand Dottore as a character and how it disapproves of many misconceptions of himself. (Like being a sadist for ex.) if you ever want the link I can send it since it was on tt. And the day I’m writing this it’s Childe’s birthday, which ironically enough my mom also shared a birthday with him LMAO. (She’s only aware of this bc of how much I dawn over the chars 😭) and to answer your question from one of the recent brainrots I had made “who are you saving up for” I’m actually saving up for Zhongli cons! He’s at C0 rn but in hoping to at least get C2 or C3, but I also won’t be spending my almost 400 wishes on him since I really want a lot of the Fontaine characters, and I’m still hoping for Dottore to become playable soon 😭 (this is me trying to cope) but I hope you have a wonderful day and week!! But before I end this off, can we agree the Dottore pictured in Nahida’s cute story with Wanderer IS ADORABLE?? Like i sometimes just wanna write about the little creature because it’s so cute. Is he ugly? A little but he’s ugly in the cute way!!! I swear I would just want to hug him to sleep. (Many ideas with fragile reader come to mind now LMAO) but anyways !!! I give you so many chu chus n cuddles n a lot of love!! Make sure you’re staying healthy and drinking water in this scorching heat. I give u so many kisses your heart explodes!!! ><
- from your boo boo bear 🎐 anon!! ૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა
🎐 ANON!!! I MISSED YOU AHHH!!!!
It's more than okay i love talking to you!!! And OMF I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!! I know it was such a grind and probably a bit exhausting at times but I'm so proud of you 😌💖 Giving you lots of kithes and hugs!! Mwahhhh!!
115 DEGREES??? HOLY- I thought it was hot where I live 😭 I'm barely surviving like every other summer but omg I'm so sorry 😭 And you have a dog?? How cute! What type of dog do you have, if i may ask?🥰 Though i have been unproductive all summer unfortunately, the heat makes me not want to do anything haha
AND YESSSS IVE SEEN THE LEAKED OST MY EYES POPPED OPEN AT THE POSSIBLE DOTTORE APPEARANCE 👁 IM SO EXCITED I WANT HIM IN FONTAINE BADLY!! Also i think I've read the same character analysis on tiktok like you, was it called "Sadist or Scientist" and had many many slides? With the character and design analysis? If yes i too read it and it was so good! I love seeing analysis on him especially since there are not much crumbs on him. Oh and happy belated birthday to your mom! I hope you had fun with her!💖
Omg almost 400 wishes??? I havent had that much since the time I've saved for Wanderer 👏 I really hope you get lots of cons for him! I also love Zhongli sm but that man has avoided me on all three banners. First banner i didn't have enough primos and missed him, second banner i lost to Qiqi, third banner i lost to Jean lol. I forgot he is coming so i will try to get him again for the fourth time 🤣 Manifesting hard for you 💖🙏 (Dw I'm also coping on playable Dot😭😭)
AND YESSS OMG I LOVE THE LIL STRANGE DOT CREATURE SO MUCH. I need someone to make a good quality plushie of that creature so i can cuddle it 🥺 HYV was probably intending to make the creature look unsettling, but nah, i wholly think it's adorable. I would hold its little hand. (Always ready to listen to your fragile reader ideas tho 😌🤞)
Hehe I'm giving you lots of more cuddles and kisses!! 🫂 I hope you're staying hydrated as well!! We shall get through this heat together 💪 Smooch smooch !! <33
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cherrypeaking · 11 months
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good morning baby~ 🥺🩵 it's finally friday!! we made it to the end of the week!
this week has felt so long and exhausting yet somehow the time i spend with you everyday feels like it zooms by ;; i wish there were 100 hours in a day so i could spend them all with you 🥺🥺 talking to you everyday isn't enough i need to sleep on your ceiling or live in your walls or something shdjhsg i'm always so thankful for the time we spend together everyday, i love my cherry time so much but lately it feels like i miss you even more than usual >< i didn't even think that was possible!!
speaking of cherry time, while i'm happy i got this new job i'm so scared it's gonna cut into my time with you :( obviously i will always make time for you no matter what bc i love you and while i doubt the tasks i'll be given will be too difficult or time consuming, i always prefer having time with you with little to no interruptions >< i just have to remember that i'm doing this so i can have some quality time with my hot choco fairy in the early winter 🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵 i want to be with you and hold your hand so badly my love ;3; 🩵🩵🩵
since i'm back on my #employedgirl shit, i went to the grocery store and bought stuff for food prep :> i'm gonna start making salads everyday like i used to but i also bought sushi bc i can't resist a good shrimp tempura roll 😩😩😩
i didn't get to do my miniatures today since the day kinda got away from me (i took the world's sweatiest nap i swear dhjshg but the dream i had... 😳😳🤭🤭 i'll have to tell you all about it~) but i'll probably work on it some more this weekend~ every time i look at all the little furniture i have to put together i think about you and how tiny you are 🥺🥺🩵🩵 my sweet baby is so little~
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i was thinking about how much you like pretty pink makeup (which is so cuute it's so you~ 🥺🥺🥺) and i saw this 4ce stuff on pinterest at the perfect time <3 pretty pink makeup + pretty pink princess taehyun = ultimate cherrycore 🥺🥺🩷🩷🩷
i'm missing you so much rn my baby love 🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵 i hope you slept well and i hope your shoulder is finally feeling better! i think i'm feeling good to get back into stretching but i have a tendency to push things so i think i'll give myself another day to chill just in case ><
i love you so much my sweet~ i'll always be here for you no matter what! like i always say, as your number one fan i'm rooting for you!! 🥺🥺🩵🩵🩵
i’m so excited for the weekend to be here finally mommy!! 😭😭 just had my gf toast (hehehe 👉👈🩷)
the week felt super long and busy indeed :’) i can’t wait to be done cause i needed a break… i also felt this way, it feels like i miss you even more than usual 🥺🥺 you’re the one i think all the time when i go to sleep 👉👈🩷 if you were on my ceiling or in my walls though i’d want you to come right into my bed instead 🥹🩷
i get that ;; i guess you never know what you have until it’s gone hence why i always made sure to live it to the fullest 🥺🥺🩷 since you were employed when we met i’m sure we will be okay though~ i just hope my mommy is fully well rested for her first day at her new work 🥺🩷 i love you mommy i’m so proud of you 😚
SUSHIIIIII YAYYY 🥹🩷 i get the need to meal prep hehe :3 salads are really nice to make >3< 🩷🩷 i hope you like whatever you make to eat, my mommy’s such a nice cook so i don’t doubt it 🥺🩷
ooooh a dream… 😳🤭🩷🩷 i can’t wait to know what it is about >\\< i’m excited to see a new progress pic cause it already looks so cute >3< i wish i could fit in there so i could be in your hand 🥺🥺🩷
THE MOODBOARD AAAAAH ITS SO PRETTY (but you’re even prettier and more beautiful 😚🩷) i love pink makeup indeed hehe tho i haven’t put on makeup in a while :’3 i really like it 🥺🩷
i missed you so much mommy!! i kept waking up at 3 then 5am i had to force myself to get back to sleep not to feel dizzy during the day but i wanted to talk to you each time i woke up ;; my shoulder is doing fine i think there’s still a sore point… i’ll see if i don’t opt for longer but softer stretches >< if you tend to push a little it’s better to take it easy and get one more day of break mommy 🥺🥺 i don’t want my mommy to get hurt 🥺🩷🩷
>\\\\< thank you mommy i’m always here for you, i love you i’m your number one fan as well 🥺🩷
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dollwrites · 1 year
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HI BABE please take all the time you need I know you're probably sooo busy right now!!! I'm so sorry about your old page you didn't deserve that, but I'm so so happy you decided to stay and make a new one I couldn't even imagine coming on here anymore if you weren't here 😭
THEY ARE TALKIING ABOUT BANNING TIKTOK! Unfortunately our government REALLY wants to ban tiktok they had a hearing with the CEO of tiktok and everything about it, and they're also trying to ban vpns so we cant get to tiktok that way either 😒 it's so annoying I would be so crushed lol I have hundreds of edits and stuff
I DID GET TO SEE DEMON SLAYER OMG IT WAS AMAZING I mostly just went to see the tengen/gyutaro fight on the big screen tbh lol. They only showed the first episode of the new season but I will say koku looked and sounded VERY cool he was super mysterious I'm very excited for you to see in like a week 👀 hate to say it but muzan looked BEAUTIFUL and of course akaza did too, but as someone who hasn't read the manga I was SHOCKED at just how HUGE Doma is like the stature on that man is insane I was expecting him to be kinda skinny and lanky but NOPE 👀 Also mitsuri I- 😳 the bi in me cannot handle it I just love her 😭 like was there a certain scene that was just brazen fan service, yes. But did she look gorgeous YES. I'm also kinda excited to see more of Genya his character design is so cool to me. I'm very excited to see what you think when the new season comes out 👀
Also PLEASE write more diabolik lovers!!! Diabolik lovers is one of the only animes I consistently rewatch I just cant help it it's like a guilty pleasure lol. It has so much potential for dark content like idk if it's just me but I love reading about blood/my blood getting drank etc lol so it fits perfectly. I also just love the trope of being forced to live with them and the whole gothic vampire vibes 🖤
I didn't want to send many tiktoks since ik you're probably so busy with the new blog so I'm just gonna include two diabolik lovers ones lol 🥰
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRceDUYr/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRceukvJ/
I'm so excited for the new things you're going to post, I hope you're doing well 😘 -jjk anon
BABY YES HI
First of all I’m so sorry all the shit happened before I could answer your big ask I WAS SO UPSET 😭
OH NO THEY SHOULDNT DO THAT. I mean I pretty much exclusively use tiktok to watch thirst edits of anime hotties BUT STILL I wonder why the gov doesn’t like tiktok???
if they do ban it we’ll have to send each other fan art back and forth 😭😭
YES DEMON SLAYER IM SO EXCITED I’ve been getting so hype about finally seeing Koku baby animated my big big big warrior man 😵‍💫😵‍💫 BRO I SAW SOME LEAKED CLIPS AND PICS IM NOT A MUZAN GIRLIE BUT HE LOOKED V V GOOD and douma is fucking MASSIVE !!! I haven’t read the manga either but one of my besties has and I did make her ( begged 💚 ) to give me all the spoilers which is how I knew about koku in the first place SKKSKSK SO IM EXCITED
YOU LIKE DL TOO ?? YES WE SHARE ONE BRAIN I SWEAR. DL would be a guilty pleasure anime if I possessed even 1 ounce of shame but I do not so I just openly love those slutty slutty vampire men. I must know who your favorites are 🤨🤨 YOU KINDA GIVE SUBARU AND YUMA STAN VIBES but I can also see you being into ayato also THE FORCED DOMESTICATIONNNNN ONE OF MY FAVES WE REALLY DO HAVE ONE BRAIN SKSKSKKSK
THE TIKTOKKKKSSSS OMG YOU SEND ME THE TWO BABIES ??? IM GONNA SCREAM kanato is my little meow meow the urge to be his mommy ( bc his real mom is….. ya know 💀 ) and let him drink from me while I pet his hair is OVERWHELMING and AZUSA SOFT BOY I’m shaking trembling I love those TikToks thank you for the snack babe 💚💚💚
It is kinda hectic trying to transfer everything 😅 BUT I always want to make time for you when I can !!
I have some for you too 🥺🥺
listen… I’m so excited to write that upper moon reverse harem au I’ve been HOLDING ON TO FOR THE LONGEST TIME it’s finally almost time to release these fics and Douma is going to be a MENACE to our poor reader
I SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY SAVED IT THINKING OF YOU
I genuinely cannot believe my FAVORITE va was cast as the deadbeat dilf I am going rabid
I WISH I HAD MORE FOR YOU BUT SINCE THE MOVE IVE NOT BEEN ON TIKTOK THAT MUCH
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voidwaren · 2 years
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Hey can I ask genuinely how you’re so good at writing?
Are there specific exercises or authors or writing styles that you admire. Is there any kind of advice that you can give? How do you keep it from being so stressful and repetitive???? I want writing to be exciting but I feel that I struggle in the minute details and for the details that keep on coming up and up again. 
How do you make description sounds exciting the way that you do, and there’s a lot of personality in ur descriptions I think that’s pretty cool
(honestly I feel like I'm not qualified to give advice on writing. doesn't make sense since you're literally asking me about MY writing, but like. y'feel?)
read more because she’s got some length to her:
so, first of all, wow. like, wow, that’s one hell of a compliment and then some more. you’re asking me for writing advice?
this’ll be messy as hell because I don’t even know where to start, but here goes nothing.
I can’t think of how to make it less stressful, because sweet Rachel above writing is one of the most stressful things I choose to continue doing, but also the most exciting, especially when I get an idea in my head. executing it is the big bitch, and that will always be stressful for me, so I can’t help there, I’m sorry!
but otherwise, I guess my first this would be to take it slow, because the struggle and frustration probably won’t go away, but eventually you’ll get there. I get INCREDIBLY frustrated because scenes often don’t come out like they look in my head (which is one of the reasons I’m such a slow writer, I lose words in the deadass middle of a sentence ALL the time because of my ADHD and have to come back and hope for the best), and often come back, realize what feels too flat to me about the scene, and fix it the best I can. sometimes I will rewrite a sentence over and over again until it finally looks a way I can accept.
I don’t do exercises and was never taught to, but they’re probably a really good idea! (I swear, my minor in creative writing was a fucking joke because I didn’t learn shit about how to actually write so much as learn that a lot of people don’t take any writing seriously if it’s not realistic fiction, non-fiction, or poetry. but that’s a rant for another day.) I have been writing since I was in elementary school, though, so I guess all the fic I’ve written over the years is kind of like an exercise? (or is that just practice. idk.)
(yeah no that’s just practice isn’t it. anywho. practice will probably help.)
I’ve only once tried to emulate an author’s writing style (for my fic Fishboy), but subconsciously I have no doubt I’ve been slipping in my favorite authors’ writing styles. I would LOVE to one day write like Madeline Miller or M.L. Rio, because they’re the ones who have made me feel so many things. (you too, Stiefvater. you wonderful monster.) that’s probably a good thing to do, though. read your fave authors and try to directly emulate their styles until you can change it into something of your own, I know a lot of writers do exactly that. (I know I must do it too, with my fave fic writers in addition to published authors, I’m just very bad at noticing when I’m doing things like that. I just kinda do it.)
I know I use a lot of synonyms for things that I have to mention more than once, and will reread constantly to try not to use a word or a specific sentence structure over within the same scene or chapter. repetitive writing is one of the things I pick up a lot when reading books that bothers me and bores the hell out of me, so I try not to do it. (though I do fail to see it in my own stuff from time to time, ESPECIALLY when I’m first posting something bc you know a bitch didn’t read through it properly at the very end.)
another thing that might help is to maybe read it out to yourself as you go? I’m not totally sure how to put this into words, but, like. there’s a flow you’re going for when you write, and sometimes it’s easier to find that flow when you read it aloud (or very loudly in your head, which I do, because I don’t live alone and my house carries sound like a motherfucker). punctuation also can help with how a scene is read.
I think maybe the best thing to do overall is to find what you like and copy it. not like word for word, but where the words fit in the sentence, punctuation, word choices, things like that.
if there’s a specific scene or something that you’re thinking of, I could probably try to break down how I went about it, to help explain what I do if you’d like that more in-depth kind of vibe? 
again though, thank you so much for the ask, the ego boost I have right now is UNPARALLELED and will fuel me for quite a while.
(deadass gonna go tell my friend, “someone likes my writing so much they wanted to know how I did it, how cool is that?!” I will be insufferable.)
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un-pearable · 2 years
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OKAY season 3 thoughts time. not as long but also s3 was like half the size:
worst thing first: the jay/naya/cole love triangle is so ...... bland. its got nothing going for it. like at this point in the show jay/naya honestly speaking doesn't really have a lot going for it. like we dont ever see them hang out or do fun stuff together as a couple or have any cute bonding scenes outside of jay being like "wowww nya hot" or anything. we dont have any real reason to root for them, so why they decided to introduce a love triangle is beyond me. like i guess its because they haven't done anything interesting with jay/naya and a love triangle is the easiest and blandest option possible, but like. come on. cole & naya barely interact in the season outside of cole fighting with jay and i'm really confused as to why we're supposed to think cole has any romantic interest in naya because they... have even less going for them than jay/naya. like man if we're gonna have a love triangle anyways i'd like to have any reason to root for at least one side. please. im not asking for much. make your characters hang out a bit and have some common interests and enjoy spending time together before you start telling me they're in love.
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number two: im kind of obsessed with how garmadon's moral standards consistently disappear when it comes to lloyd. like pre this season he takes his vow of non violence or whatever but after lloyd gets captured it just. goes completely out the window. moral compass: son
number three: circling back to ninjago's inability to write a compelling romance i dont inherently mind zane/pixel (and its certainly got better writing than the.... uh . competition, if you want to even bother calling it that) but i do wish the writers would start out these romantic relationships with a much more solid platonic base. like its not the end of the world but i do wish it was more compelling.
number four: ZANE GIRLBOSSING IT THIS SEASON FINALE!!!!!!!!!!! this is one of the few things i did remember from like 8 years ago and for good reason its because hes literally perfect in every single way
number five: im nitpicking here but i think lloyd should get to swear. i think he's earned it
number six: this is more of a general observation than anything else but one thing i think is really . weird. about ninjago's writing is that it seems that every season they give the ninja new cool epic powers and then by the next one they get taken away. and like i understand the reasoning for this - its like when shounen writers keep giving their protagonist increasingly world-shattering powers and the power levels just keep getting more and more ridiculous, because if your original villain is "conquering the whole world and turning everybody evil" then theres only so much you can amp that up as the seasons go on without tacking on too many powers that nobody should be able to stand up to the hero anymore - but also its just. its just weird because i dont think ive ever seen anything like this.
okay i think thats abouttt it im, as always, very excited to get to some of the things i distantly recall (namely in particular the giant green eyeball thing and possibly a tournament / survival island arc that i think was a thing (???)) i know lots is in store and all i really want rn is character interactions. thats my dream i will honestly forgive so much as long as im having fun with the characters and dynamics in a series
whuff…. yeah. as much as thematically i love pixal and theoretically jaya could be extremely interesting. they do NONE of the work to make them so. zane <3 <3 baby’s first traumatic character death. he is. he really is. he deserves it all and so much more. whoever’s censoring lloyd must get paid well bc that kid grew up in eternal middle school. kid knows more swear words than the rest of these socially isolated dorks let him use them
i’ve never really thought about that but,,,, holy shit yeah???? i’m nowhere near an active dragon ball fan but it IS baffling that instead of the usual shonen style they-just-keep-getting-new-powers and we stop using them bc a) we forgot they existed (which does happen a bit here, but less commonly) or b) they’re just obsolete, in ninjago they EXPLICITLY get said new powers taken away. multiple times. is it a medium limitation?? is it just a quirk of the writers??? i’m gonna be thinking about this all night
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upagainstthesunset · 2 years
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Been a minute, but onto Flash Vol 2 Issue 16 - The Adventures of Speed McGee, Part 1
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Alright, heading into the three-parter! I actually own some comics that come up right after that, so I’ve seen fan reactions about these issues in the letters to the editor. I’m excited to finally see what they’re talking about ha ha.
Jerry is looking a lot better. I think it’s really interesting that they decided to not just make him a simple villain and then toss him aside. 
WALLY. PLEASE.
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Guess she’s trying some breezy humor. 
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I had to look up who Lochinvar is. 
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Lol Wally’s mom being friendly to Tina is like MAJOR SIDEYE what’s going on
Alright, so Tina and Jerry clearly still have chemistry, they’re showing that he’s remorseful but that Tina has forgiven him. She and Wally are in a rough patch. Kiiiinda seems like they’re setting up for her and Jerry to get back together and go on their way.
Wally with the kids is excellent. And that the first thing he thinks of is how Barry did stuff like that... Ah my heart. But also lmao Wally does NOT know how to interact with these children yet and it’s hilarious. Good on him for giving it a try tho.
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Oh Mason’s here. Lol he’s totally saving Wally’s butt with these kids. 
Then we check in on Jerry, and his scientist buddy throws his weight around a bit. Then back to Wally trying to deal with his eviction notice bc boy can’t catch a break.
Okay I was SO confused. I thought that was Wally with Gilchrist and the baby, but it’s the guy who was wearing his suit that beat him up. Hella confusing.
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Wally, I swear to god do not....
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You know when your husband tries to kill you, but you still love him so you go to the bitchy mom of the guy who is ready to break up with you for advice? Totally universal experience, amirite?
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WALLYISAIDDONOT
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Look, at least he knows he needs to break things off with Tina, but he’s kind of known for a while now. Hah his brainstorming session on what to say is so cringe. Wally why are you like this lol. But in the end, the more mature of the two comes forward and tells the earnest truth about how she feels.
WALLY YOU ASS HAT JUST LET HER GO LMAO
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Wally acting like a little bitch is something that can actually be so personal
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Oh dang I totally forgot about those other Russian speedsters. Well, Wally’s about to get his ass beat. Maybe it’ll give him some perspective 🙄
Jeez this guy is really messed up. Sounds like their team met a bad end.
Wally mom: “This is my fault! I’m a drain on you. A parasite!” Me: “Hold on, she’s got a point.”
Omg THAT is why Savage and co were at Gilchrist’s place? To get money and hostage up his baby??
OH DAMN SON
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Final thoughts:
Wally’s life is such a freaking rollercoaster. It makes me laugh bc it’s so insane. He’s the fastest man alive, he has no speed powers, people think he’s Barry, he resents his girlfriend, he doesn’t want her to walk out on him, he was a millionaire, he’s getting evicted. Where does it eeeeeennnnddd?? (Flash fact: it doesn’t)
So it looks like Savage is still in play, and of course his personal life issues don’t wrap up here. Wally was about to bust in to see Jerry (which he had no leg to stand on btw so kind of good they got interrupted), and I’m sure that’s going to come up again bc after all, this only Speed McGee adventure number one!
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onlyjaeyun · 3 months
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my angel love zadie!!🌷🤍 idk if my asks are going through/being delivered to you bc my tumblr has been a bit weird lately :/ but i want to send another one and hopefully you’ll receive it!!
BUT OHHHH MY GOODNESS THE LAST COUPLE CHAPS LETS DISCUSS:
the amount of times i had to pause my reading session for the friendmas chap bc the more i read the more my heart broke and im too fragile to read it all in one go🥲💔 but hoon’s secret santa present for yn omg that was the most beautiful and thoughtful gift ever and the fact that it was hoon’s peace offering to finally put an end to all this enemy stuff made me so 🥺🥺 AND HIM WRITING THE CARD IN JAPANESE TOO!! i know our hearts have to hurt for a bit but im so excited to see soft and fluffy hoonie w/ yn and vise versa like they are each other’s person❤️‍🩹
now i don’t want to talk about the interaction with riki’s mom but i’m going to talk about it — what a witch!!! the fact that she could even sleep at night after knowing what she did to sunghoon & yn’s friendship is so unsettling to me like they were so young :(( and when hoon asked “what letter?” i swear i got so silent and had to stare blankly into my wall to process my heart shattering into a million pieces. like how they treated each other for the past decade was built off of a huge misunderstanding caused by none other than that witch of a mother/stepmother, i swear when i catch her!!!!! and yn giving up her dream for riki :(( she loves him so much and so does he like i cant even imagine riki’s emotions finding something out like that. also with yn too like she carried such a burden for the longest time to make her brother happy i’m so :(( they deserve a happy ending too and knowing that their “family” can never come near and hurt them ever again makes my heart so content😭❤️‍🩹
the nishimuras have such a special place in my heart 🥺❤️‍🩹 i don’t have any siblings so i like to indulge in her character a bit and their closeness is just something that pieced my broken heart from the friendmas chapter back together🫶🏻
NOW HOON FINALLY CONFESSING TO HIS BOYS HIS FEELINGS FOR YN!!!! i’m so so excited to see how this all unfolds and for hoonyn to get all fluffy and do couple things🥹💓
as always, i hope life has been treating you well my love!!! always thinking about you and how you’re doing🤍 wishing for you to be happy always baby!! sending you so much love💓💓💓
- 💌
oh goodness, my sweetest, kindest, softest baby's here and i couldnt be happier, hi my love 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤍
first of all, i hope you've been doing well and that life's been treating you even better baby, you deserve nothing but the best!🤍 please make sure to take care of yourself and i hope you have the best weekend ever 🤥💗💗🌥️
now, you have NO idea just how much your feedback and review on the most recent chaps means to me 🥺 thank you thank you thank you :( not only for taking the time out of your day to make mine so much better but also for always being so sweet and so kind to me, i can't even explain just how grateful and appreciative i am of you. i love you so so so much and am still giggling over your reactions, i love it SO much 😫
sending you the biggest kiss baby 💐🌷💞
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tojisblunt · 3 years
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OVERSTIMULATION HCS — genshin edition.
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hcs — original, not requested.
AUTHOR’S NOTE. my first genshin work... hehe im so very excited to get back into the writing game ^_^
CHARACTERS. diluc, dainsleif, zhongli, xiao.
+ includes. overstimulation (duh...), daddy kink, size kink, squirting, multiple orgasms, fingering, slapping, mean!xiao, praise, edging
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PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM A DARK CONTENT BLOG.
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— DILUC.
he overstimulates you because he’s not even aware of it in the first place.
diluc is a certified himbo, i swear. he loves u so much and would do anything for your pleasure.
but the thing is.......he’s too focused to realized that you’ve been doing nothing but cumming.
he only realizes once you squirt all over him, your cream soaking his digits and your cum bleeding through the sheets.
“d-diluc!” you squeal, back arching and hips shooting forward into his fingers as he continues to move them around inside of your weeping cunt. diluc’s other hand is focused on your tits while his dick is standing up proud, the red tip angry from how horny he was.
he just wants you to cum on his fingers before he makes you cum again and again on his cock, but poor little diluc; he’s far too focused on your pretty tits to notice that you’ve cum a long time ago.
“baby,” you cry, putting your hand over your mouth to muffle the embarrassing sounds leaving your lips as you feel his finger tips graze against your favorite spots. his palm is catching your clit every time his hand creates a motion, and it makes your legs quiver and the knot in your stomach to tighten.
“just cum, baby, it’s okay.” diluc reassures you, and you want to smack him. he’s been spewing bullshit about wanting you to cum when you’ve been doing that this whole time.
“i-i can’t!” you sob, head thrown back when he stops thrusting his fingers for a second, opting to grind the pads of his finger tips against your g-spot. it sends electricity through your body, and you can’t help but tighten around his fingers, body quivering as you experience a body-wracking orgasm.
you’re crying underneath him, eyes widening as you unconsciously spread your legs further open, feeling your orgasm drag out for much longer than planned.
you curse, squirting all over your boyfriend’s fingers and abdomen, thrashing your head side to side from the overwhelming feeling of a mind numbing orgasm that you just experienced.
“oh.” diluc stills, realization hitting him as he processes what just happened. “sorry,” he says sheepishly, and you roll your eyes. he cleans off your cum from his fingers, bringing your body closer to his lower half as he lines up his cock against your pussy.
“what are you—?!”
“—who said i was done?”
he’s gonna be the death of you.
— DAINSLEIF.
likes to do it because you look so pretty crying underneath him.
and also because he’s a service dom who’ll do anything for you to be happy in his sheets :P
loves to edge you tho... it makes your orgasms make you really sensitive after and he just loves the reactions.
tbh everything u do is attractive to him but if ur extra sensitive? u become a lot cuter to him.
“s-sen..” you blabber, and your boyfriend simply does nothing but looks up at you, keeping his eyes focused on your face to watch for any hints of uncomfortableness on your end.
“repeat that?” he asks, slamming his hips against yours purposefully, hoping to get a reaction out of you; in which, he does. dainsleif knows you too well, your body included. he knows where to hit it to get a certain reaction out of you.
“too sensitive!” you cry out in response to his thrust, feeling your thoughts swirl around as dainsleif begins thrusting into you slowly, before his rhythm speeds up. “no, no, no, no...” you trail off, mind going blank as your brains get fucked out of you.
“you can take it,” he says, soothing his hands over your stomach to reassure you that he’s still there. “my good girl, you look so pretty like this.” he smiles, face showing nothing but complete adoration for you as you cry beneath him, legs spread and cunt almost red from the abuse it’s taken from his edging.
no matter how much you want to finally cum, the stinging that you feel as he rocks his hips against yours is so good yet so painful that you’re not sure what to tell him. he’s been edging you for so long that you’re not even sure if you really did cum.
dainsleif knows how sensitive you get every time he stops his thrusting to edge you. the cries that leave your lips once he begins thrusting again, it’s all so good. but, as he watches you babble incoherent words, he decided that it was enough.
after all, nothing beats the sight of you cumming all over his fat cock.
— ZHONGLI.
LET ME TELL YALL ABOUT HIS BIG ASS DICK. (i would know i experienced it first hand)
dear gawd this man has such a size kink... thousands of years of struggling to find someone that would take his cock properly is finally catching up to him!!!!!
because now he found a cute lil plaything such as yourself who gets off on the fact that his dick cant fit easily
and the amount of times he’s made you cum before being fully in... it’s embarrassing but did you expect any less from a dragon?
“daddy!” you gasp, feeling his fat cock throbbing against your sensitive walls. even after years of experience in bed with your boyfriend, zhongli, your poor little cunt still struggles to take his much bigger cock.
you don’t complain, however, no matter how much your pussy hurts the next day from the stretching it received the previous night. no, how could you complain when he makes you feel so good?
“hm?” zhongli hums, keeping his grip on your thighs strong so he has control of how spread out you are for him. using that fact to his advantage, he brings your thighs further apart, cock twitching at the sounds of your mewls from the feeling of his cock hitting deeper.
“f-feels...i feel so good, daddy...” you sniffle, bringing your hand to his abdomen to rub on it, just for your own satisfaction of having your hands on him 24/7. you’re obsessed with having zhongli’s skin against yours, and he finds it so adorable the way you depend on his touch.
“yeah?” he quips, slowly grinding his pelvis against your sensitive clit, causing your mewls to transition to slightly louder moans. he takes note of how sensitive you can get sometimes, which is why he’s careful with exactly where he’s hitting his cock, but his cock is just too big that he sometimes accidentally (more like purposefully) grazes it against your g-spot.
he feels it before his brain could process your loud cries of pleasure. “i’m cumming, fuck! oh fuck!” you gasp, hands gripping the sheets and back arching as you cum hard all over your boyfriend’s cock.
he quickly puts his thumb on your clit, rubbing gentle circles on it to help ride out your orgasm, and you’re crying from the overwhelming feeling of his hands on your clit. your legs are shaking, and your moans have grown too loud, forcing you to cover your mouth in a desperate attempt to keep the maids from hearing you.
“daddy, please,” you sniffle, mind blank from how fucked out you already are. zhongli smiles, caressing the side of your face before he brings your legs over his shoulders, loving the wide eyed reaction that you gave him.
“you can take more, right darling?” he smirks, doing a few experimental thrusts against your sensitive pussy. but before you could even process anything, you’re cumming all over his cock for the second time.
— XIAO.
LITERALLY ONE OF THE MEANEST!!!!
does it purely bc he loves it when ur crying like a dumb little whore
he just loves to fuck u into oblivion so ur rendered speechless :blushes:
degrades u whenever u cry bc of overstimulation, but gets so soft when u apologize for cumming too much :( i love him..
“nngh!” you bite your lips the hardest you could, eyebrows furrowing as you throw your head back. your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, and the continuous trembles that are going through your body right now has your boyfriend holding onto you to support.
he keeps his eyes locked on your cunt, eyes scanning the way you wrap around his cock perfectly, cream soaking his dick as you cum over and over on his cock. you’re too overstimulated at this point, one simple move from him can have you cumming again.
“you don’t stop do you?” he teases, and you wiggle your hips in place in response to the proud smirk adorning on his face. “feel good?” he asks when he notices that your panting has calmed.
you nod, still lost for words as your brain is jumbled from the numerous orgasms your boyfriend was so considerate to give.
he ghostly leaves his thumb resting on your throbbing clit, ignoring the small whines that leave your lips in reaction. he then brings your legs over his shoulders with his free hand, and you can’t do anything but just give him a hesitant look.
“what?” he asks, leaning down and placing both hands on either side of your head. “don’t you cream so nice and hard like this? hm?” his vulgar words bring arousal to your hot cunt, enough arousal where your hips jumped from the sudden stimulation it brought to your clit.
“daddy...” you sniffle, feeling his cock throb inside your awaiting cunt. he gives you a single glance before thrusting hard once against your hips. hard enough that it would be pleasurable for the both of you.
“you talk too much,” xiao sighs, and you squirm, impatience settling in your bones. “quit it.” he grunts, lifting his hand to land a quick slap on your face, causing you to gasp.
“no, fuck!” you cry, hands immediately rushing to his arms for support as your body trembles underneath his, cunt completely losing it on his cock.
xiao swallows, head going light from the intense arousal that he’s feeling as he watches you cum just from him slapping you.
if overstimulation can get you to cum this easy, then you better be sure as hell that he’s going to fuck you insanely stupid every time.
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copyright © tojisblunt. do not plagiarize, modify, or repost.
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