#but I've actively chosen to BE obedient and diligent and freaking responsible for my brothers and helping with bills....

[oldfarmerbillswife]

I could be much worse than I am but you don't even consider that.

#personal #me #ugh #why do i so desperately need validation from my mother. like. if she doesn't like one thing about me i want to kms. #but she doesn't even think about the fact that I'm not a party girl I'm not a heavy drinker or drug abuser or anything crazy. #I've been blunt my whole life and that's not going to change. #i wasn't even attacking her i wasn't even trying to disrespect her and she always takes me the wrong way. #like imagine if i WAS attacking and intentionally being disrespectful?! i never would. but imagine. i could've BEEN that problem child. #but I've actively chosen to BE obedient and diligent and freaking responsible for my brothers and helping with bills.... #... because I've always needed the validation that i AM a good girl. #am i insecure? #wth is wrong with me. #do i do it for the wrong reasons? #:/ #idk #i just hate how easily she can make me feel like trash because I mentally allow that. i let it eat me up inside. #rant #sorry #i love my mother. i just need to rant and distance myself a little.