#but I was literally at a funeral today

[scarlettriot]

hey!! i hope life is treating you well!

i was just wondering if u have any updates on the fic “the bond that binds us”? i don’t mean to be pushy or anything just curious!

wishing u nothing but the best <3 mwah

At the risk of sounding repetitive from another ask I received yesterday inquiring about an update… I do have plans to continue writing and my stories but I do not have a definitive date as to when updates will be posted. If you’d like to be added to a tag list, please just message me and I can do that for you. You’ll be notified when the update is posted ♥︎

#I don’t mean to sound short #but I was literally at a funeral today #and reliving some trauma #and I just answered an ask about this #like less than 24 hours ago #(different fic but answer still applies) #so #not to be blunt or a bitch #but updates just aren’t on my mind at the moment #unless it’s some self shipping bs #where Ei just makes it all better #I don’t think I’m gonna be writing in the near future #maybe in a few weeks or so #scar.txt #return to sender 💌

[spicyvampire]

Vegas and Pete are going on a shocking little date in hell

KINNPORSCHE (2022) EP. 10

#kprewatch2023 #kinnporsche the series #kinnporscheedit #kinnporschesource #dailyvegaspete #vegaspete #asiandramasource #dramasource #tansedits #edits:kp #did my best so this wouldn't get shot immediatly by tumblr #posting this today cuz tomorrow i have a war to fight (LoA and OF and literal FUNERALS) #kinnporsche

[linusbenjamin]

We have to go back, Kate.

#lost #lostedit #tvedit #lost spoilers #kate austen #jack shephard #nikolatexla #hi anon this is for you and all jate shippers <3 #there are so many scenes of them but unfortunately i don't have all the eps #especially the scenes where they kissing and the first time they met :') #so i want to talk about that last gif a bit 😩😭 #i don't want to talk about charlie's death i don't think i can handle this #oh my god i thought sarah was coming out of the car and WHO CAME INSTEAD #when i first saw bearded jack i kinda thought it's probably after the island but i wasn't sure #so i saw kate and my heart skipped a beat #i literally cried when jack said i want every single plane to crash #now who is waiting for kate and whose funeral was that... #i can't describe how i felt during that scene so i'm moving to the next issues #so i met daniel miles and charlotte today aghhhh #and the man who gave them order is the man with hurley in hospital... interesting #i'm having a hard time understanding locke rn because he absolutely didn't have to shoot naomi #i mean he's acting like ben. ben shot him and now he does the same thing to sbd else #and hurley saw jacob. and i couldn't figure out who's sitting on that chair... thought maybe jack's father but no #and hurley said oceanic six??? only six people survived huh... #and the best part is... ben was sayid's boss #I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS #my heart didn't just skip a beat. it stopped right there #this show's the best thing that's ever happened to me #people say its finale was garbage you know what i really don't care

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

Read a Twitter thread a few days ago how Katsuki, Izuku and Tomura are meant to be the pillars of hope and change for hero society (by Kikibats, go check her out, the thread is her pinned tweet), and that got me thinking about Tomura's birth name, so I looked up the kanji for his name (志村 転弧, for those curious), and I wanted to share.

(someone probably already did make this connection and worded it better but screw it we bail let's go-)

Kikibats' thread has mentioned what "Shimura" could have originally meant In-Universe, especially "Mura", so it's about a paragraph short, because I'm writing what it could mean in the story as it is (again, In-Universe):

So from the name Shimura Tenko, we have:

Shi (志):

"Determination, ambition, intent", which Tenko does have, arguably even more than Izuku has (I mean, running around barely sleeping while facing Gigantomachia for three months? spending four months in a tube and resurrecting by sheer anger?), but ambitious is after realizing his convictions and intends to carry on the League's. It can also refer to “will” as in willpower, the one trait AFO doesn't have, and the reason he was selected as his vessel.

Mura (村):

Mentioned in her thread, but "Village", could be an ironic spin on “it takes a village to raise a child”, since after his family's death no one was willing to take him in, and the one who did only did so to groom him into a monster. It could also refer to a heroic trait he has (yes, even as he was annoyed at Toya and Himiko when he first met them): taking people in when he thinks they're lonely, have been rejected, wronged by society and wanting to carry on their convictions, which leads to:

Ten (転):

a verb; "to shift", and sure enough, he's the one who created the Vanguard Action Squad with the purpose of kidnapping Katsuki, setting off the Kamino Incident and shifting the status quo of society. You could argue he has been since the USJ but no one really feared him until Stain came along. Tomura is also one of the characters whose goals and motivations develop the most through the story.

It can also mean "to turn", from changed from the sweet kid who wanted to play heroes with his friends, to a symbol of fear. And physically, he's the willing participant in Dr. Garaki's body experimentation and his body is constantly shapeshifted depending on his (and AFO's) mental state.

Finally, “Ko” (弧):

The kanji for “arc”, which is admittedly very vague and it could mean nothing, but.

It could refer to the arc he goes through.

From a kid playing with those others ignored who wanted to be a hero, to being groomed into the Symbol of Evil('s puppet), which eventually unravels once he becomes powerful enough to fight Izuku, resulting in the reveal that in spite of all what he’s been through, he’s still that kid willing to extend his hand (well, in a metaphorical way) for those who want/need someone to rely on. Someone who wants to be the LoV's hero.

A bonus point, since we (readers and watchers who like to read the raws/watch subbed anime) use "Ko" we usually think of "子", the kanji for "kid", this one abandoned by a complacent village. And remember since Izuku wants to offer him a hand, a crying lonely child in need of a hero. With AFO taking control of him, while Izuku (and most of Class 1-A) trying to save him, wouldn't it be neat to see Tomura choosing to take Izuku's hand, especially someone whose identity was forcefully defined by a touch of death?

Would be fitting for his arc to come full circle, wouldn't it?

#Boku No Hero Academia #BNHA Spoilers #MHA Spoilers #Shigaraki Tomura #Shimura Tenko #spider.posts #Again check out Kikibats' thread on TWT it's a very fun read #idk what compelled me to see Tenko's kanji today but ykw I don't regret it. I might see what are the other character's later #also I looked up on the wiki to see if I got the correct kanji. fun fact: ''Shigaraki'' is literally death grip's tree funeral #''ki'' is tree and the kanji is in Yagi Toshinori's name just his is read as ''gi''. now I wanna write parallels and foils they share #makes me wonder even more why don't we see more sweet and angsty fics with Toshinori and Tomura are right there #screw DFO I wanna see the other side that is Toshinori adopting the hell out of Tomura more than ever- #i'm going off topic so Imma wrap up the tags #thank you for reading this post. have a nice one! :D

[nebulouscoffee]

Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to) #I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky #I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine #and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve #and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn #I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky #(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things) #(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe) #anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D #I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one #even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends #how do Trills even exist #how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now #and still function #how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her #does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically? #does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now? #does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day? #does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more? #idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually... #(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao) #cw death

[the-kipsabian]

.

#today was such a long fucking day and i was made so fucking uncomfortable i literally threatened to walk out of a fucking funeral #i got told im dressed inappropriately just because im perceived as a girl and i was wearing pants #PANTS. #theres no such thing as a funeral dress code that prevents me from wearing pants. people just didnt like it #i got told by two extended family members that i was inappropriate. and later also by my mom #who didnt say anything when they picked me up. it was fine by her at that time but later when others said it wasnt fine? yeah #im so fucking tired man #i know the extended half family doesnt like me ive always been a black sheep but this just. yeah #at a funeral no less #i dont want to see these people ever again im so fucking tired. i dont want to see anyone ever again tbh #just let me sleep forever and rot away please im tired #sorry my headache makes me angry and upset just. its all just so much #im just glad this whole hassle is over and i dont have to think about this anymore. but between all the stress and anxiety and grief #and everything else? yeah this. this aint it fam #im so mentally fucking shot i just want to sleep but my body is still kinda in a fight or flight mode with this and the grief its so hard #and my head hurts. so yeah. i dont fucking know #i just need someone to hold me before i combust #again sorry #night is an absolute mess on main

[berserkbookworm]

So I did a bad today. I wanted to go to a panel at a con, so I dragged my bestie with me. In hindsight, taking a satanist to a panel about Warrior NUN was not a good idea. In my defense, I did think we were going to discuss more Ava and Beatrice than religion. I really should have looked at the panel speakers and seen that Fr though. Also didn't help that there was a nun that specialized in exorcism. I thought the gay barbie in the crowd was about to fight with the nun after she said "as long as it stays a kiss and they don't go any further". Seriously though why did we talk about religion for 40 minutes and only talk about Avatrice for maybe 10 minutes?

#warrior nun #ava x beatrice #avatrice #the priest literally said in the middle of the panel #i did a funeral today #he also brought some of his congregation #so it was like half lesbians half his congregation #shout out to the lesbian and supernatural author that kept me sane #beatrice was described as before 10 oclock shes a bottom lmao #from the author

[cuntylittlesalmon]

hm… i’ve written like 3k words in two days

#creative block….unblocked? #‘creative block’ bruh ur dad died ur allowed to be shaken gah #um anyway. tag diary <3 my grandpa died today too #last grandparent :/ he had real bad dementia & was refusing to eat like a week ago so it was a long time coming #sucks tho #my dad n my dads dad :/ #he wasn’t. a great person by any means. i just feel for my aunt since she was his sole caretaker #like. from her perspective her brother just died (a year younger than their mom did. 59-58) and she’s 57. and now her dad too? #it just. sucks. #that’s it! it just sucks #and my dads church is ducking our attempts to set up a memorial date despite the literal thousands of dollars #he’s tithed to them over the last decade 😬 #mom n i think it’s cause we’re godless heathens who aren’t a part of their cult. who said that #(they’re an assembly’s of god church if. anyone knows abt that / cares) #so if they keep dicking around we’re just gonna do it at the funeral home Literally Right Next Door #and then. in march. a memorial for my dad and my grandpa in missouri :/ #and then of course. all of the other shit i still need to take care of. gah. whtvr whtvr

[da-proti-toku-grem]

feeling like a total asshole today 👍

#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night #i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know #so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD #but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying #and i felt absolutely nothing #idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel #like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just????? #that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car) #and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow #and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago #i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back #not right now #not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week #but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go #and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now #and all i can think about is that i'm anxious #i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know #i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it #bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has #but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality #why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain #like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings #i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it #i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it #i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly #so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language) #is easier than talking in spanish #and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind #but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/ #i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit

[princessmo]

man this dominos job has me fucked up i can blackout and demolish half a pizza like nobodys business

#also they put me on the schedule for today but i literally told them i cant come in (lying about going to my grandpas funeral)

[da-riya]

The Stranger is my favorite book I read (albeit I only read 3 books) and purely because this is how it starts

#I can't say for my mom but I've had uncles and grandparents die since I was 5 so being bored at a funeral is like so normal to me #my granpa literally got murdered when I was five I think that normalized it to me as ''shit that happens'“ #also. this is the wikpedia page I'm talking how the plot starts not how the novel starts #we all know it's like ''Today mum died. Or maybe yesterday. I don't know''

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Oh I never mentioned this before I don’t think but Sidekicks AU is big found family. Like big found family.

Sometimes a family is an animatronic wolf, four little robo-spiders, a sentient wet floor sign on wheels, a lil bear that might as well be a bobblehead, a traumatised duck with pronouns, a cupcake with a tragic backstory, a giant robot spider DJ, a possessed woman, Those Guys™ from the daycare, some random dead pirate fox thing, the kinda nice rabbit that’s also fucked up like the woman and three other animatronics the wolf was convinced were all absolute, irredeemable assholes.

Oh and maybe a random kid that showed up. I’m still not sure how I want to play that particular card yet.

#did i miss someone? I hope not #sidekicks au #minor spoilers for the au but I'm losing hope I'll actually write literally anything ever again #forcibly trying to remember that I was literally at a funeral talking to people the entirety of yesterday and its totally fine to chill #and recover from that #i've forgotten that fact maybe four times today it's not going well sdsdfdsf #like 'oh why am i not doing anything' LIKE OH I WONDER WHY #add AND tired from yesterday i really wonder why I'm not doing anything #oh so confusing #baffling even #lmao ANYWAY #SIDEKICKS AU IS FUN ISN'T IT FUN?? #FUN STUFF

[handern]

something very unfair I just noticed at work ; foreigners used to compliment my accent and my english almost every day some 5 years ago, now they don’t mention it at all

smh I hear them compliment my colleagues who have thick accents/are p hesitant, and on the one hand, good for them for encouraging my colleagyes. On the other hand I also deserve so many compliments for learning an entire language solely through books, series, ttrpgs and tumblr

this post was brought to you by my frustration at the guy who mocked me for only speaking two languages fluently

#I never visited any other country than germany when I was 12 with school #he was like oh you don't speak german fluently? do you speak spanish then? #babbles blabbles #people were particularly annoying today #and nobody managed to put their audioguides on correctly at first try #literally I take an extra one each time to show them but they don't look #nobody listened to me during my guided tour also and it always wounds my pride #I know I did a good job these kids just didn't give a shit #the one who takes the whole podium of assholes #is the guy who yelled at my colleague who was on his way to a funeral #like very sorry sir that a different company than ours cancelled your visit #which again we have nothing to do with bc we're not the ones holding them #but maybe you should fuck off like holy shit

[haemosexuality]

mmmmmmgggggggnnnnnnnnn. the thing about grief is that ppl say stuff like ''someone who dies isnt really gone bc theyre alive in your memories'' but thats not true to me bc 1- i was really young. when my sister was alive i was 7-10. and 2- i have really bad memory. like almost everything that happened in my life before 2020 is gone esp when i was a kid bc people already naturally dont have as many memories of when ur a kid. so i really have like almost 0 recollection of the time that she was alive or of what she was like. and it doesnt help that me and my parents absolutely never talk about it ever i cant remember the last time we had a conversation about it. so like no, shes not in fact alive in my memory, and that devastates me a little bit. i cant even remember what she sounded like

#a few months ago me n my cousins were having an impromptu late night therapy session and when the topic of death came up one of them #mentioned remembering my face at my sisters funeral. and i was like damn bro i have literally 0 recollection of that #other ppl in my life know more ab me than i do cuz i cant remember anything #like that cousin was 6 when my sister died and i was 10. but she remember it more than i do #its fucked up its all #she also remembers our grandpa (he died that same year) way more than i do (that is so say i really actually have 0 memory of him. like #absolutely nothing. i have a few of my sister but w my grandpa it really is absolutely nothing) #its been 8 years thats insane to me... today shed be 11. like thats a whole ass person #but she didnt even cross the line into ''child''

[good-night-space-kid]

My dad is snoring SO FUCKING LOUD and I’ve been awake for two hours straight and I really need sleep for today 😭

#my grandpas funeral is today and I literally just want to not be exhausted all day #I drove 7 hours today and have to do the same thing either tomorrow or the day after #I was so stored today so I thought I would sleep through it but my whole family is awake #other than him ofc #scream

[myersesque]

every smosh video but every time damien is my fav member it gets faster

#his funeral roast just came out and i am DYING /pos #i've realised. we're very similar. in a lot of ways #and maybe that's why i like him so much #for the record shayne is my 2nd fav (basic ik) but he's less relatable #bc i am not. in fact. an accoustic guitar personified #whereas i not only relate to damien's sorta style and interests and humour but to the point where we literally have the exact same ocd tics #when i noticed it was like. the spiderman meme #idk why i'm rambling abt damien haas at 7am fjdnfj i don't wanna have to get up #it's -6 degrees outside and i have to walk to college #then perform 3 shows today #og