#but I really like Needles for some reason

[thelampisaflashlight]

Have You Ever Eaten a Whole Bag of Sour Patch Kids

[This started as lore, and then turned into... whatever this is. I take my craft very seriously. Dew has a strange encounter.] Below the cut.

As Alice fell into Underland and thus deemed it Wonderland in her awe, so, too, did Dew tumble his way through the briars and brambles, and narrow paths of trees into the warm embrace of Hell.

He'd gone astray, a lost lamb -or perhaps a foolish wolf- gone without his shepherd; Over the guard rail that marked the divide between the road turned to gravel and the forest beyond.

Seeking shelter, sick from that first shock of falling, falling, falling down...

And the nauseous quake of too much alcohol and not enough food in his belly.

The dark night overhead, the stars hidden by clouds heavy with rain, the dull rumble of thunder getting closer.

His hands scraped up, bleeding from where he'd clutched to harsh pines and wicked thorns to stop his knees from buckling and losing himself among the brown needles strewn upon the ground.

It's never been clear to him... where and when his body gave out.

But the memory -the dream- of larger hands cradling him as a babe in arms, carrying him from the forest to the footpath, swaddled in pitch black furs of an animal unknown to him remains, persistant.

Rousing himself from a deep slumber beneath those same furs, Dew stares up at his ceiling.

Years have past since his arrival at the abbey, since his transformation into a ghoul, and his baptism into the church of Satan.

With a huff, he turns his head and eyes the clock on his nightstand.

4:30AM.

Too early to be getting out of bed on his day off, but the shifting of his body returns some sensation to other parts, and before he can reason with his bladder to go back to sleep, he's up and headed to the bathroom before he can piss himself.

His legs protest, and Dew decides he doesn't have the energy to stand up to take a leak, and plants himself firmly on his porcelain throne.

No sense in putting in more effort than is necessary, but as he's sitting there, and ever so slightly more awake, Dew reaches for one of the magazines he keeps in the bathroom.

An unsanitary practice, if you ask Aether, but Aether isn't here right now, and Dew has had enough late night regrets to not keep something worth reading in his on suite.

At the very least he isn't bringing his phone in the bathroom like SOMEBODY -Swiss- he knows.

...Flipping through a months old copy of Guitar World, he kind of wishes he'd brought his phone in here.

Dew hums and glances out at his bedroom, having not shut the bathroom door -he never does really, not unless someone else is in the room, and even then he's not exactly shy about this stuff- and feels his body go cold...

Someone's in his room.

A shadow is cast across his bed, a figure just out of sight.

He thinks, maybe, if he wasn't already in the process of doing so, he may very well have pissed himself from fear.

Startled, he gives an undignified shout and rushes to cover himself, screeching when-

"...Dew, I threw up..."

"AEON ERIK PHANTOMIME, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-"

Aeon sniffles pathetically.

"Can I have a hug...?"

Dew looks at him aghast.

"...My pants are literally around my fucking ankles right now and you want a... How did you get in my room?? I had the door locked! And why the fuck didn't you knock... Geezus..."

Aeon does grabby hands towards him, looking utterly miserable.

"...Gimme, like, two minutes."

"...You need two minutes to pee?"

Dew throws his magazine at him.

"I need to fucking pull up my damned pants and wash my hands"

Aeon blinks at him.

"You wash your hands after you pee?"

"I'm pretending you didn't say that just now." Dew says, shooing him out of the doorway, "If you're not all gross, go lay down..."

Climbing back into bed after finishing up, Dew settles and groans as Aeon tries to cozy up to him, the lankier ghoul attempting to curl himself into a little ball against his chest.

Dew pets his back, if only because the slow, easy motion is soothing to him in its own way, "So, you think you caught some kinda weird bug, or did you just eat something strange again?"

Aeon hesitates, still attempting to worm his way, from the feel of it, into Dew's stomach.

"Have you ever eaten a whole bag of sour patch kids in one sitting..?"

"...No."

"Why did you pause?"

"Shut up and sleep, or I'm suffocating you with my body."

"...Yes, sir."

#lamp writes #shitghosting #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #aeon ghoul #phantom ghoul #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost band fanfic #mentions of throwing up #tw emetophobia #just to cover my bases #it really did start as lore #and then became this

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 63 - I'll Cry if I Want To

You get drunk. Guess who comes lurking?

On AO3.

Getting shit-faced. That is what wine’s good for.

The night’s real pretty. Y’all are inside the grove, all the goblins’re fucking dead, and the druids ain’t gonna let…let fucking wargs or mean bears in here. So it’s safe. There’s a rock digging into your left ass cheek, and you cannot be fucked to do nothing about it. But you’re safe! So it’s fine.

You take another gulp. People say when you got enough alcohol, you don’t notice then taste no more, but those fuckers’re lying liars who fucking lie, and it still tastes like bitter…bitter piss.

Bitch burns, too.

“Shit is gross,” you say to nobody. “The fuck do people drink this?”

Probably cause it makes you warm. And vaguely floating. Your muscles seem to burn a lot more, but you’re still kinda happy. Not like, sing and flail around the living room happy, but happy enough the last…week? Ish? Whatever. The night is pretty. An owl hoots and squirrels run along branches. Bugs creak and hum and a crow in the trees above lets out a sleepy “crk.”

“Sorry!” you say. Realize you’re shouting. Whisper, “Sorry.”

Crows keep grudges, huh? You heard about that. Should let the little dude to back to sleep.

Probably shouldn’t be out in the woods by yourself?

Whatever.

Another gulp. Your whole face wrinkles.

“I thought you didn’t drink?” says a fucking rat man.

You turn. The woods spin a little, and you gotta blink before the two, pale silhouettes become one bastard man.

“’Sa party,” you say. “Errbody’s drinking.”

Why’s he here? You ain’t been gone long. Right? You’re pretty sure.

“How’s Lae’zel?” you say.

He winces. You’re shouting again.

You pitch your voice back down. “How’s Lae’zel?”

He gives you a look. It slides right on past you. “Jealous, dear?”

Your chest hurts again. Still for no fucking reason. “Pff. No. Just surprised how quick it was.”

For some reason, he pulls back in outrage (yeah! you recognize that one!). “Excuse me?”

“It ain’t nothing bad!” You only flail a little. Almost throw the wine bottle and then have to clutch it to your chest. Next to your soul flask. They clink through your shirt. “Just…y’know. ‘Fficient. You’re very efficient.”

He stands there like he’s trying to parse out what you’re saying. Did the potion wear off again? You gotta study more.

And who the fuck cares. You ain’t out here for him. You ain’t out here for nobody except to get shit-faced.

“Why are you out here alone?” rat bastard man says.

It probably ain’t supposed to be funny. Or maybe it just ain’t funny to him. Or anyone but you. But for you? You don’t drink, you don’t hookup, but you do plonk your ass down and get sloshed off a bottle and a half of wine all by your lonesome.

You want ice cream. You would literally kill a man for ice cream.

“If I didn’t know any better,” the bastard fuck boy says, “I’d say you look like you were trying to drink away your feelings.”

You squint up at him. White hair a silvery halo around his head in the moonlight. Eyes shining like new pennies in the low light. Fucker asks your opinion on who he ought to bang, and then finds you afterwards to…to fucking needle you?

You ain’t never been drunk like this. You flirted with getting mildly buzzed. Got borderline tipsy that once when Ryan fucking Meadows ghosted you and you ugly cried onto Sasha’s only clean work shirt.

None of that really processes, though. You ain’t really up to the whole “processing” thing right now; that barn door is long open and them hogs already sprinted for the hills.

“You’re such a dick,” you say, clicking the “k” at the end extra hard. “Pompous goddamn mess of a…of a man dick.”

He blinks like you just sprouted a beak and began reciting the entire works of Shakespeare in chicken.

And you ain’t done. “I got all the fucking reason to be off my damn ass out here, you shit. I lost my whole fucking family. Again. My whole fucking world. Fucking demons and brainworms and your ass. Maybe I just wanted to get drunk all by myself.”

You feel how dry your mouth is, and chug a few more swallows.

“Tastes like shit,” you say and try to scrape your tongue on your teeth. “Don’t know why anybody drinks it.”

Astarion still stands there. Fucking creepo. He’ll get all huffy and leave; toss you some snide bullshit before he goes. Jackass.

Only he don’t. He…lowers himself down. Not right next to you, but within kicking distance.

You think about doing just that.

“What even is that swill?” he says.

You look at the label. At the swirly-spiky letters all swooping together. Turn to him, with the most deadpan expression you can muster, and say, “What’s up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen, and I never fucking learned how to read.”

It is, hands down, the best joke you ever made in your whole life. You bend over laughing. You cry, laughing. Your bladder twinges and you keep laughing.

But then something happens. And you’re still laughing, and your eyes is watering, but now it hurts. Now you can’t breathe and nobody else is laughing with you cause they don’t get the joke and never will because your world is dead. Not like, actually. But they might as well be.

And like hell you want Astarion to fucking see that. So you shove the bottle at him and turn away like it’s just the giggles. Ain’t nothing to see here. Just a giggly drunk.

No one is ever gonna get your jokes. Ain’t nobody gonna know what “Wednesday my dudes” is. Or the helium balloons. Or the yoga grinch.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck.

Wine sloshes in the bottle. Astarion somehow gives an audible grimace.

“I think you grabbed the worst of them, darling. This is pure vinegar.”

You don’t turn around. You try to shove the goddamn sniffles back in your face. You don’t cry in front of other people. That shit ain’t safe. It’s how everybody knows how weak and stupid you are, and you are not gonna give this jackass that ammunition.

But it keeps coming. The smell of the red dirt after a hard rain. Homemade pecan custard pie. Uncle Randy was gonna take you to the Cherokee Days this fall. You was gonna try to learn basket weaving. The old style.

And you up and disappeared on him. On all of them.

Again.

Only this time, you ain’t coming back. This time, you ain’t gonna find no pink bicycle waiting for you cause you ain’t never gonna come crunching back over that red gravel. Never gonna smell them rich pecan trees, and bitch about Uncle Randy’s nasty cigarettes.

This is what you do, ain’t it? You disappear. You run off. You leave your family. All of your family, even the piece of shit parts over and over and over.

The tears coat your cheeks. You swipe at them furiously.

The wine sloshes again.

“Our gith friend had other plans for the evening,” Astarion says after…you don’t know.

You glance up and the sky spins above you. Fuck, you’re gonna make yourself sick you keep this up.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

“That sucks,” you say.

He makes a startled, snorting sound. “There was none of that, actually. And that’s the problem.”

Ah. Ye-awp. That’d do it. That’d be why he’s here with you. His prospect failed, so now he’s come back to you. The easy one.

You sigh and finally lose your fight with gravity and flop onto your side. You wave vaguely over your shoulder.

“Go find one of them tieflings, then,” you say. “They can’t all be paired off.”

You’re tired, actually. Desperately so. The grass is nice and soft, and it’s safe out here, right?

Something shuffles. A rhythmic swish of grass. It’s the change in the air that alerts you. He don’t radiate body heat cause he don’t got none. But he is…surrounded by something a lot like a static field.

You look up to see him on all fours over you, peering down. Not like, over you, over you, it’s just his head. He wears no expression. Just…looks at you.

Have you ever seen him like this before?

“You didn’t seek any playmates of your own,” he says. And who the fuck talks like that?

“I got.” You start to lift your hand to waggle your remaining wine bottle, but your hands is empty. Ah fuck. “I had wine.”

“But you didn’t need to drink by yourself, darling. Both the cleric and the wizard would have gladly followed you out here.”

Well he certainly did.

Still, that blank face. Not, like, shuttered blank. Just…open. Or empty. It’s just his face.

…you should just tell him. All’ve this would be so easy if you just fucking told him. But he dumped you. He’s probably one of them guys who gets real weird when he finds out you’re thirty-five and are the sole provider of your own orgasms.

And it shouldn’t fucking matter.

“Didn’t want to,” you say. And do not elaborate.

Leaving the ball in his court. He fumbles with it. Stares at you like you just tossed him a soggy potato.

You’re kinda curious to see what he does with it.

His eyes narrow. You think he frowns. But it ain’t a pissy frown. It’s a thinking frown. And too late you remember that this bastard clues in on your plans real fast. That he seems to have a decent read on things (that ain’t trying to get into your pants).

Oh fuck.

“You haven’t dabbled with any of our merry band,” he says. Is that thoughtful? He sounds thoughtful. Shit on a goddamn cracker.

Um.

“And you saved me back at that goblin camp,” you say. And give yourself a mental high five, cause if he wants to delve into shit you don’t wanna talk about, take a reverse fucking uno card, jackass!

But he don’t dodge or parry, this time. He fucking leans in. You breathe in some of his own exhale and feel your cheeks begin to warm (through the booze).

“And what if I did?” he says, voice just shy of a whisper.

Oh. You didn’t expect that. Shit. What’s the play here? Uh.

“I’d thank you,” you say.

The sky spins above him. He’s the only steady thing in your vision.

“Is that all?” he says. Y’all are totally sharing lung air now, and his whisper gives you a goddamn ASMR shiver.

Except you’re drunk. And he’s way too close. And the shivers quiver down to your belly. The sky spins faster.

“What if I told you,” Astarion breathes, “that I’ve been thinking about our night together ceaselessly—”

Your stomach lurches.

Oh. That ain’t a shiver or a booze buzz or Astarion. You make some awful gagging sound, wrench up and to the side, and bring up about a bottle and a half of wine.

#feeding alligators fic #these two shitheads #astarion #astarion x tav #tavstarion #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #plus size tav #demisexual tav #slow burn #the disclosure arc

[hauntingkiki]

some venture headcannons that i came up with!

i hope you guys enjoy!

Some Basic Head-cannons

Venture x Reader Headcannons

Overwatch

2nd POV

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

- they go by they/he pronouns, but mainly use they/them! (amab)

- they have a few cuts/scars from exploring and from the fights while at overwatch

- they listen to just about anything. goth rock? they have a playlist for it. country? turn the volume up!

- they have dimples! the one of their left side is more prominent than the one on their right :3

- since they speak spanish, if they forget a word in english, they'll say it in spanish so it's like a guessing game to figure out what they're saying (unless you also speak spanish)

- the words that they forget are recurring words, like they'll forget the word spaghetti in english, so they made a list of the spanish word and the english definition next to it. (it's your life saver)

- they've very clingy! but not in the bad way, like, they like to show you off around their coworkers! ex. holding your hand, an arm wrapped around your shoulders/waist, kisses on the check, forehead, nose, lips, hands :}

- if you're the one to kiss/give them attention in front of their coworkers, they easily get flustered and will not shut up about the interaction.

"oh! hana wants to show me something really quick! i'll be back, sloan!" *kisses their cheeks and walks off with hana*

*very flustered* "he...hehe...did you see that? i love my girlfriend/partner so much."

"yes, venture, we saw it."

"she's/they're so pretty."

- will randomly quote a line from a song out of nowhere.

"baby, we can do it, take the time, do it right. bum, bum, bam."

"what was that, sloan?"

"NOTHING!"

- has the coolest rock collection you have ever seen. in your shared bedroom, their side of the room is all rocks, sketches they made while exploring and work related stuff while your side is just all of your interests

- proud 24/7 yapper

- ^ will just talk about work, overwatch/his colleagues, random facts they know/learned

- while the two of you eat dinner, you two will have a yap fest where you just talk about random things! (work, interests, drama, or whatever pops into your heads!)

- they love to paint rocks and gift them to you out of the blue, so you have a small, but growing, collection of painted rocks by your truly

- they used to draw a lot when they were younger, but since they do more rock/structure drawings, their human sketches are a little rough but they will ALWAYS use you in order to improve

- they will paint their nails your favorite color and you will paint your their favorite color, but on your ring fingers, you'll have your favorite color and they'll have their favorite color

- matching tattoos with you :D

- they have some kind of autism, so when they get excited, they'll crack their knuckles, flap their hands around, tap/stomp their feet!

- when you both go to sleep, they'll take all the blankets and hog the whole bed.

"why weren't you in bed when i woke up?"

"hun, you took the whole bed."

"...no i didn't?"

they only do this if they had a long day at work (which is very rare surprisingly)

- apparently them eating rocks is cannon?!😭 but i think they'd also eat those candy rocks, and they LEARNED how to make them at home.

- has a HUGE ASS JAR of rocks and candy rocks.

you took one once and it was an actual rock. (thankfully you didn't chip a tooth unlike sloan)

- they rarely curse, but if they get overwhelmed/overstimulated they'll just shout a random curse word and everyone knows that you are needed immediately.

"ffffFFUCKK!!"

"WHERES Y/N?! SOMEONE GO GET Y/N IMMEDIATELY!"

- they want to get their tongue and ears pierced but is surprisingly scared of needles, so they're holding off the appointments (for some reason it's only piercing needles, they have no problem with tattoo needles)

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

please request i need stuff to do☹️

#fanfic #reading #request are welcome #headcanon #overwatch2 #overwatch #venture ow2 #venture x reader #venture #venture overwatch #sloane cameron #characterxreader #wattpad #please request i need stuff to do #hauntingkiki

[ejzah]

Suggested by @mashmaiden to continue the Houseguest Drabble Series. It’s quite long.

***

Deeks: This is getting ridiculous.

Kensi, in a soothing tone: I know, baby, but it won’t be that much longer.

Deeks, not soothed at all: Really? Cause it already feels like it’s been forever. Look, you know I love Anna and Callen, and at any other time, I’d probably love to have them here, but I we have no room, it’s been two days, and the twins are starting to babble in Russian.

Kensi, putting a hand on his arm: Sweetie, calm down. I don’t think babies can learn another language in 48 hours.

Deeks: Callen is very determined. *he takes a deep breath and rub s his hands over his face* I’m sorry. I’m just tired and need some caffeine. Donut and Croissant were feeling extra social last night.

Kensi, grimacing: I know. I heard you get up a lot. Let’s go see if there’s any coffee left.

They find Callen, Anna, and Rosa in the kitchen.

Anna: Good morning. Thank you again for letting us stay another night.

Kensi: You’re welcome. I hope the twins didn’t wake you up too much.

Anna: I brought ear plugs.

Callen, pouring them each a coffee: And you know I don’t sleep much.

Deeks, nodding: So…any updates.

Callen: Arkady’s not answering my texts.

Deeks, in exasperation: Alright, that’s it.

Kensi: What are you doing?

Deeks, halfway out of the kitchen: Taking care of this once and for all. *then on reconsideration, he grabs a bottle of alcohol on the way out*

***

Deeks: Arkady! Open the door.

The door pops open a crack and a sliver of Arkady’s face appears.

Arkady: Deeks, what are you doing here?

Deeks, shouldering his way in: Here, I brought you a housewarming gift.

Arkady, quirking an eyebrow at the wine: This is not my house.

Deeks: Exactly. Where are Yuliana and my mom?

Arkady: They are in back. I believe they mentioned something about lunch. Though I have not been considered in a plans.

Deeks, heading for the back door: Wonderful.

He finds Roberta and Yuliana happily chatting and relaxing on lawn chairs.

Yuliana, instantly wary when she sees him: Berta, who is this?

Roberta, sitting forward: It’s my my son, Martin. Marty, what’s going on? Is something wrong?

Deeks, holding up a hand: No, mama. Nothing’s wrong. Well, assuming you consider seven people sharing one bathroom not wrong. Did you notice the homeowners of this home are missing in action?

Roberta, shrugging: Hey, I didn’t make them leave.

Deeks: No, you just made them extremely uncomfortable with your fighting and death threats via sewing needle.

Arkady, from behind Deeks: Yes, they fight like—like shrews. Or yapping dogs, nipping at the defenseless.

Yuliana, stands up and instantly begins berating him in Russian.

Arkady, to Deeks after retorting in Russian: See, this is reason we did not marry.

Roberta, hand on her hip: Excuse me, what did you call me?

Deeks, whistling sharply: Alright, that is enough! In two sentences or less, explain your top grievance with this man. *he gestures to Arkady and then Yuliana* You go first.

Yuliana, haughtily: Arkady told me he had been tasked with a very important job for US government two weeks before our wedding. I never saw him again. And he took my engagement ring with him.

Deeks: Not a good look, man.

Yuliana, warming up now: He also lies! All the times with the lies and the stories. He told me—

Deeks, interrupting: On any other day, I would love to pull up a chair and listen, but right now I’m on a tight schedule. So, if you wouldn’t mind. Mom?

Robert: Well, I suppose it’s not that bad, but last week he never showed up for our weekly dinner at my house. *she glares at Arkady and he cowers a little* I’m also not a big fan of some of the things I heard about you from your ex. I’ve dated jerks before, Ari.

Deeks, nodding: Ok, so now we have the grievances. What type of reparations do you think are necessary for you both to get over this Russian scoundrel and vacate the premises?

Yuliana glances at Roberta and they shrug a couple of times before nodding.

Yuliana: A sincere apology would suffice. Otherwise, I will never leave.

Arkady: Apologize? For what? I have done nothing! Ok, perhaps I tell a few lies. But these are nothing.

Deeks, leaning close to him: Arkady, you either apologize to these ladies with the best of your con-man abilities or I will have you arrested for trespassing on private property.

Arkady: You are not agent anymore.

Deeks: You forget I’m friends with your son-in-law, Sam Hanna, and several other law enforcement agents who would happily put you behind bars.

Arkady: You would not dare. *Deeks raises an eyebrow and Arkady puts on a contrite expression* Yuliana, my former love, I am deeply sorry for abandoning you on our wedding day. I don’t deserve your love. Roberta, my dear, my feisty woman—

Deeks: Speed it up.

Arkady: Roberta, I promise to never treat you so poorly again. Will you forgive me?

Roberta: What do you think, Yuliana? Should we forgive this pathetic man?

Yuliana: It was satisfying to see him grovel. Why not? Roberta, do you have plans?

Deeks, as they wander off, making plans to go shopping: Oh, thank god. Maybe I can finally get some sleep.

Arkady: But first you just drive me home since I ride here with your mother.

Deeks, talking to himself: A jury would accept a plea of insanity.

#ncis la #densi #marty deeks #kensi blye #Callen #Anna #Arkady #Roberta #ridiculousness #dialogue drabble

[tillasst]

Why did I fall in love with Needles

#The Magnus Protocol #the magnus archives #tma #tmp #tmp spoilers #needles #tmp episode 6 #gave him freckles #I know it's bad #I don't do drawing #pretty much never #but I really like Needles for some reason #tmp art #tmagp

[petrichorium]

pluvi begging you to expand on gojo not wanting what happened to his mother to happen to you 🙏

warnings: it’s all a dream so nothing is real aside from the flashback stuff but pregnancy as horror, (sewing) needles, implied gore/eye trauma, implied child harm, gojo is messed up yo!!! and its bc of his mama!!!

he dreams about her.

it’s an odd thing, really. gojo isn’t much of a dreamer—not much of a sleeper, all things considered, but it’s difficult not to give in when you drag him to bed and curl up in his arms. the soft rise and fall of your chest, the steady thump of your heart, the sound of your breath; it soothes him into slumber.

and he dreams about her. she was always young. he’s older now than she ever got to be. frail, thin; borderline skeletal, robes hanging from her body like webbing. she sits in a chair facing a window, swathed in moonlight, the silver of her embroidery needle glinting with each stab. her face is veiled. her stomach is swollen with child.

she doesn’t turn to him, but she beckons without noise. his feet take him easily to her, and he kneels at her side as she sets aside the embroidery hoop to let him place his head on her knees.

her hand is cold as it threads through his hair. it’s gentle, at first. then harsher a moment later. she grips firm, tugs him up by those electric white threads, stares down at him through all that elaborate lace.

he imagines she’s weeping beneath it. his mother never wept before him, but she was pretty in the aftermath, eyes puffy and pink and shining. they were a cold kind of loving when they regarded him. she must have been beautiful once, elegant and lithe and willowy, cruel like the heartless sea and sharp like a brilliant diamond, but whatever was there is long gone. he thinks all sons must empty their mothers, bleed them dry from within, because his was always a shell.

she trails her hand down the side of his face, and he turns into the palm and closes his eyes, and she is silent as she sets down her embroidery to lift her veil. she is silent and hollow and eidolic as her fingers brush down his jaw and tilt his head up to look at her.

but it’s your face that he sees when he opens his eyes.

it’s your hand against his cheek, your eyes pink and puffy and pretty, your stomach bulging by his own doing. it’s your fingers that pluck up the needle, still attached to a thread of brilliant cerulean, and raise it to his eye.

his mother never was able to pierce him with that needle. she stopped herself, each and every time, dropping it and tugging him close in shame. she never doted, never was kind, but she never did manage to harm him.

you do. he lets you. it’s only fair. whatever thing is in your stomach can’t be human—whether god or demon what does it matter, at the end of the day—and didn’t he put it in you himself? if his mother never got the satisfaction of spilling his blood, shouldn’t you?

but he wakes just as the tip pierces his iris, and you hold him in your lap, eyes wide with concern and not puffy from weeping, and you hold no child within you. your hands thread through his hair and they’re warm, your lips plush when you bend to press a kiss to his brow.

he turns inward to press his face into your (empty, blissfully vacant) abdomen. the wetness he leaves there, falling from his so very coveted eyes, is colorless.

he thinks it ought to be brilliant crimson.

#ask.🌧 #saintshigaraki #cw.pregnancy #cw.child abuse #cw.trauma #cw.gore #cw.needles #char.🌧 gojo #mine.🌧 #no children #tags will have some discussion of harming others & oneself as well as poor mental health in general pls be aware #i hope u like it beloved i am suddenly very self-conscious abt this one #there were originally more examples of her nearly-harming him but i ended up rewriting the snippet to focus on the needle thing #but in my head she...... had fits where she seriously considered maiming him but stopped herself #getting very close to it in many instances #idk. to me she was MEAN and stoic and gojo's obsession with her made his doting aunties and grannies beyond furious. thats what i think #and the only reason his clan kept her around was bc she was the only thing that could stop his tantrums #bc she was ambitious and cruel and she really did fight for him when needed. she could be scary. they rlly wanted her gone #n e way. ty for ur patience i hope it was worth the wait JKHADBFV

[crybaby-bkg]

I did all of my work early for the week so I could prepare myself for the first period since starting my new birth control and I just. never came on. I feel like I should be concerned but google is telling me that it’s normal :/

#tw: periods #THIS IS SO STRANGE???? #I’ve had my period for over a decade now and I’ve never not had a period before?? #and I thought it would be really bad bc my pre menstrual cramps were really uncomfortable and kinda bad #and then. nothing. at all. #this feels too good to be true 😭 #I just hope this new bc helps with the stuff I switched to it for #I’m also v anxious bc I have to get a cavity filled for the first time in like. almost ten years #and I’m so scared for some reason??? will they put a needle in my gums??? 😭 #I DONT WANNA!!!!!!! I take enough needles a day ☹️ #sorry I’m just a complain fest tonight I feel like poo #—in store chit chat! 🍫

[obessivedork]

Me, a week ago, an absolute buffoon chilling in a hot tub of innocence: oh Farscape sounds like a fun silly time!

Me now: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#I should've known better late 80s-early 00s really was peak TV with giving you a bunch of silly guys who have goofy hijinks #and then ripping out your fucking soul to make you cry over them #Me watching s1 ep 10 😭😭😭 *clicks play next episode* #ngl the needle drop on D'Argo's lore really REALLY got me for some reason. I guess because it was so unexpected #like yeah yeah sadman deadwife. BUT. The rest of it? 😭 #farscape

[hovkinnie]

honkai domination and kolosten arc spoilers/rambling+ some heavy complaining after the read more (it's basically a whole ass essay im so fucking sorry lkfjdslkfjdslkfj)

thinking ab how fucking rad and meaningful kolosten would've been if the domination arc had ended with kiana and HoV coexisting instead of what we got.

It definitely would've been better to do that with more setup of them actually talking throughout the story (which is the same thing you can say about the way it went, imo) but even without it- it would've been even more in line with what I think are the most resonant themes of that story.

The thing that made me fall in love with honkai like I did was the themes around victimhood and antagonism. Sirin, Wendy, Bronya, basically all the Herrschers we've seen- whenever a character that wasn't Otto during the beginning stages of the story became a threat to the world, it was never really because they were "evil". They were victims of the cruel world around them, sometimes victims of the same organisms that fought against the supposed real evil of the honkai, and either broke or lashed out because of their real vulnerability.

But in a lot of those moments the story understood two things: one, that that's a tragedy, one that deserves to become motivation to change the world so this kind of thing can't happen again, and two, that if at all possible, despite the threat they might pose to our characters or the world, what they deserve isn't hostility but compassion. Because they aren't the perpetrators of their own violence, only the victims through which it becomes externalized.

This compassion IS extended to Sirin, not only in Second Eruption but also through Kiana, who, despite being a danger in a sense because of HoV, is shown compassion as one of two different people carrying on from Sirin's past.

But imo, it undercuts this theme that HoV isn't extended the same compassion. Because HoV is not only a more direct threat to the world than just Kiana by proxy, she's a much more direct inheritor of what Sirin could represent: A righful anger at the world that victimised her, one that isn't content to fight to protect that world.

And in a story that had at that point so wonderfully allowed characters who were framed as villains to be accepted for who they are, to be recognized as the victims they are and shown a path forward that didn't end with them burning out, in a story with Bronya's self-determination being fought for, with Mei becoming a Herrscher that fights in her own way to protect who she loves, with HoS being shown compassion, Fu Hua being stopped from sacrificing herself for absolution and a pointless so-called victory, with Seele being allowed to live in harmony with her other self and taking her own name, it's just painful that HoV's anger cannot be accepted and coexisted with.

I know that it's not a hugely popular opinion, but I think kolosten drops the ball with Otto, and I think it's because until that point, we had seen Otto from the perspectives of those who were the most hurt by his actions, some of whom might have developed a sort of stockholm syndrome but who were still able to see the hurt he's caused the world. We knew, always, that his view of the world did not include the real compassion that we'd seen growing in the main cast towards those victimised by him, the thing that to me was the emotional core of honkai. Where kolosten fails for me is that now we got so, so, SO much from his own perspective, his own hand-washing, while getting absolutely NOTHING about the people he'd hurt.

We knew throughout the story, always, that the kinds of experiments he'd done to people en masse for hundreds of years were a kind of mass torture that was what created Sirin as a Herrscher in the first place, the pain that created her anger. We knew that Kallen would've been better off if he'd never been so obsessed with her because we got her perspective on that history, and we knew that the world would've been better off in the years after that because we got the perspectives of the people most hurt by his actions. And yet kolosten gave us none of those perspectives, only focusing on him, the people with the most stockholm syndrome for him, and Kiana as a newly-reborn protagonist who isn't about to let anger cloud her judgement.

All kolosten felt like was a pity party for what was undoubtedly one of the most horrid men imaginable in that world. And that's really only because there were perspectives that were sorely lacking, perspectives that could've been there, ANGER that could've been there, if HoV was allowed to exist, if she was allowed to be there to say what I wanted to say the most to every character that I otherwise adore throughout that entire arc.

"Fuck this garbage fire that's been burning for 500 years. He doesn't get his pity party, or his one in a million shot to save someone who never wanted to be saved by him. He's hurt too many people to deserve anything other than a million void lances tearing him apart, one for each person whose life he ruined by existing."

Because if your compassions for victims doesn't extend to accepting that they're allowed to just fucking HATE those who hurt them, then it isn't worth shit.

#(this is like actually extremely long tbc pls don't click if ur not ready to read a whole ass essay) #honkai #honkai impact #honkai spoilers #herrscher of the void #hov #im not tagging anything else cause i don't want this to be seen as like tagging hate or w/e? #i love honkai and i talked ab the reasons why in here #it's just #i couldn't stop thinking and wanted to write it out #all the reasons why it felt like at some point it started really failing in the regard that i used to love it the most #yes even beyond the fact the girls are gay #i read yuri every day that's not gonna be what moves the needle and makes something one of my favorite games ever

[falst]

fun thing I've noticed recently whenever I get nervous my hands get pins and needles ??

#and if I get REALLY nervous bc Im being gay my cheeks get pins and needles. instead of like. warm. for some reason ???

[milkweedman]

Just finished 2 skeins of sleeve yarn and once again marveling at how little yardage im fitting on a bobbin with this stuff--each skein was 60 yards (55 meters). And each skein was a totally full bobbin of plied yarn (and my singles each took up a bobbin). Part of it is that its very airy (and bulky weight, obviously), and the other part is that my take up is not very high so its not compacting down as it goes on, but even so, it feels like a lot of yarn when i was holding it ! And the spinning and plying was only maybe 2 hours ! Bulky yarn is crazy

#so nice though #the carding takes a day or two so im never spinning back to back days which is actually kind of nice #and then i can get the spinning and plying done in one day as long as i keep the tension low (less stress on my joints that way) #and break it into a few sessions #ideally id also be using up the yarn as fast as i was making it but im spending most of my knitting time on that scarf #i moved the sweater panel to straights because i thought i would hurt my hands less #which it isnt but i feel like the reason for that is more to do with how unbalanced it feels and how i can never get the stitches #to sit at the balance point on the needles so theyre not trying to fall out of my hands #which i think is user error really #also thought i was getting lever knitting straights (i.e. the very very long ones) but i dont think i did in retrospect #theyre too short to press the left one into my hip while sitting unless i slouch a ton which i dont remember it being the last time #i tried lever knitting. so maybe i might have better luck if i actually got a pair of those #anyway its going fast when i can knit. and its Very soft and so satisfying to knit #excited to get to the front panel so i can do a design #not sure what though #ooh a beet would be really cool #dont know if i could render it in brown though... id like if it could be all hand dyed and ive never gotten a red #on the other hand could do my best to dye some yarn with beets and then it could be more symbolic of red than actually red lol #spinning #bulky sweater spin

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

I came back to knitting after so long and have been going hog wild Featured is: a particularly evil but finally finished baby blanket (free handed pattern, main body is premier Bloom DK in babys breath, border is some white baby dk acrylic yarn) a swatch of lion brand Scarfie Lite in Seaglass Progress of the obnoxious striped sweater (a long list of different worsted/aran weight acrylic yarns)

#knitting #knitblr #knitted baby blanket #i have been struggling with this blanket for literally months now. i've had the border at least half done for that long and just couldn't #bring myself to finish it. sadly i fell out of love with the scallop pattern VERY quickly #i still really like the colourway of the primary yarn but the white looks really yellowed against the white of the border and i just ugh #but it's done now and i can give it to my cousin when her baby is born #i'm also VERY excited for the scarfie lite yarn i want to knit a sweater in it so bad #i still can't decide if i want to make it drop shoulder or set in shoulder but also it knit up REALLY small compared #to the gauge given on the ball band and like. that's super normal for me lmao i'm a tight ass knitter. #but when the ball band says 16 stitches per 4 inches on a 5mm and i'm getting 20 st per 4 inch on 5.5 mm #i REALLY gotta block that out and see if it's a block issue or i just gotta majorly size up my needles. even if it makes me sad. #i suck so bad at swatching and even worse at blocking <3 but for this sweater i'll do both #tbh i might knit it like it's a dk weight instead of worsted because like. something about it makes my stitches look super wacky. #my tension is decent to good most of the time but polyester based yarns always give me problems for some reason #acrylic is fine. wool is fine. cotton is fine. polyester blends? tension is wack.

[scarletshroud-a]

🙂 it's been quite a week for me but I've come to terms with being undiagnosed with ADHD after talking with a good friend of mine who also is undiagnosed on the ADHD and Autism spectrum

#listen some personal stuff right now #im literally not even supposed to be alive right now #talking to any of you (mutuals) online here and now #i was born 21 weeks early and weight one ounce and one pound #on top of having two surgeries before in the six month window after my birth #im talking really bad brain hemorrhaging and laser eye surgery on a baby #that now has a phobia of needles and has really thin veins #doing this self diagnosis has really really helped #for a lot of reasons #especially as a black kid #nuerodivergent #adhd undiagnosed #its like really hard to explain this #especially since my mom is in denial about it everytime i bring it up to her #and my family doesnt even take me seriously when i bring it up #like i was in special needs classes for a reason #but i dont think having adhd is #(something is wrong with me) cause i had that mindset for a very long time #but you know coming to this conclusion is really helpful #it explains why i hyperfixate on stuff and have to do more than one task before i even circle back to the original one #i thought it was just a weird thing that i did #but its nice to know im not alone in this #and that there are ppl that can understand this #needles tw #hospital tw

[skullchicken]

Things I wish I had read in "beginner" sewing tutorials/people had told me before I started getting into sewing

You have to hem *everything* eventually. Hemming isn't optional. (If you don't hem your cloth, it will start to fray. There are exceptions to this, like felt, but most cloth will.)

The type of cloth you choose for your project matters very much. Your clothing won't "fall right" if it's not the kind of stretchy/heavy/stiff as the one the tutorial assumes you will use.

Some types of cloth are very chill about fraying, some are very much not. Linen doesn't really give a fuck as long as you don't, like, throw it into the washing machine unhemmed (see below), whereas brocade yearns for entropy so, so much.

On that note: if you get new cloth: 1. hem its borders (or use a ripple stitch) 2. throw it in the washing machine on the setting that you plan to wash it going forward 3. iron it. You'll regret it, if you don't do it. If you don't hem, it'll thread. If you don't wash beforehand, the finished piece might warp in the first wash. If you don't iron it, it won't be nice and flat and all of your measuring and sewing will be off.

Sewing's first virtue is diligence, followed closely by patience. Measure three times before cutting. Check the symmetry every once in a while. If you can't concentrate anymore, stop. Yes, even if you're almost done.

The order in which you sew your garment's parts matters very much. Stick to the plan, but think ahead.

You'll probably be fine if you sew something on wrong - you can undo it with a seam ripper (get a seam ripper, they're cheap!)

You can use chalk to draw and write on the cloth.

Pick something made out of rectangles for your first project.

I recommend making something out of linen as a beginner project. It's nearly indestructible, barely threads and folds very neatly.

Collars are going to suck.

The sewing machine can't hurt you (probably). There is a guard for a reason and while the needle is very scary at first, if you do it right, your hands will be away from it at least 5 cm at any given time. Also the spoils of learning machine sewing are not to be underestimated. You will be SO fast.

I believe that's all - feel free to add unto it.

#sewing #diy

[istillseeeverything]

Does anyone know if/when the higurashi games go on sale...... I'd watch a playthrough but I want to read at my own pace AND I don't want anyone to talk shit about satoko TBH

#jesse.txt #If ur like “TF!!! why have u been bring rena if u haven't played the games???” #I read most of the manga adaptations cuz I thought it was a manga for some reason??? So I know the outline of the games minus satoko #But it's not the same experience ESPECIALLY since the stuff that is reality/delusion is portrayed exactly as reality #Like w keiichi in the first game it's unmistakably a needle and not a marker #I also listened to a podcast about it after reading so I have a good like summary.... But I wanna see rena!!!!! #I wanna read all the interactions and place together foreshadowing myself.... #Also re:satoko hate I've mostly seen positive stuff Abt her in the comments for the new anime #But idk ppl are really mean to child characters ESPECIALLY when they're girls AND if they aren't perfect polite victims

[sammansonn]

there needs to be something like screaming and breaking things that I can actually do without consequences

#for some reason I always like to embroider when rageful #but it just makes me more rageful #and then I stab myself on accident several times because you really shouldn’t angrily use needles #AHHHHHHHHRHRHEJEIRBRUFNDIE