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doomsdaydicecascader · 6 months

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please elaborate on your homestuck is like into the woods take because i read those tags and it blew my brain wide open i need to know more but like you are so right what if what you thought you wanted made you miserable and the story should have ended but it kept going and everyones dying horribly wow parallel of feeding the narrator to the giant and hussie being killed by and also part of lord english cant wait for homestuck to make it to broadway

so there's a sideways video that i'm kind of at risk of just repeating word for word from here, he explains it in a way i would just kind of idly repeat when describing the musical construction here

so here's that: the musical moral of into the woods

and you're correct about the "what if what you thought you wanted made you miserable" and "the story should have ended but it kept going" and "kill the narrator" but it's also in its judicious establishment of shorthands. in into the woods, this is in its musical expressions - "i want to go to the festival", "there are giants in the sky", etc etc. each character and each narrative arc is given a leitmotif that keeps the audience on track even with a billion characters running around. and ultimately, the expression of the theme is in relation to these little leitmotifs. these shorthands are deployed to great effect in homestuck too.

vriska is a blueblood whose relationship to breaking eight balls causes her to have snowballing bad luck, something compounded by her complex cycle of revenge, started off by the author figure for her narrative, doc scratch, which is something she overcomes with her ascension to god-tier and then defeat of english in act 7. but when it comes to breaking those eight balls, addiction is a powerful thing.

equius is a blueblood whose relationship to breaking bows reflects his unbendable adherence to rules, an arc that ultimately ends with his submission to the power structures of the world he grew up in, asphyxiated by the broken bow by a highblood he could have summarily defeated if he could have simply just, bent the rules. but addiction is a powerful thing.

jane is a rich girl (blue-blooded, natch) whose relationship to her brands is obviously toxic for herself and her friends - in her introductory pages she's inundated with subliminal messaging, groomed into being the perfect heiress by her imperious condescension, who is actively using the crockercorp brand as the means to reach out to jane. and wouldn't you know it, brand loyalty is a powerful thing.

and since vriska and equius have opposing relationships to this idea - vriska overcomes it, equius doesn't - it creates ambiguity as to how jane is going to relate to it, but there's no question as to whether it's gesturing at the same ideas. and evidently, she doesn't overcome it, at least in the homestuck epilogues, but it is a pattern, it's a beat hit intentionally.

it's this construction of homestuck as a reiteration on itself, repeating itself in new ways that express the story being told that makes it *really really* comparable to into the woods imo, just as much as any of the things you mentioned. also, this is just a bit more shallow, but one of the ways homestuck is divided on the map page is into "sides", side A before they break the fourth wall and side B after, and it just as easily reflects acts 1 and 2 of into the woods, splitting into this "narrative done right", and the ramifications thereof. pretty fun to think about

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pirategonner · 3 months

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Homo

STOP THIS YOU SENT AT LEAST THREE ALREADY GO AWAYYY! ! !

[Intro]

Four, three, two, fuck you

Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic

Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonics!

[Verse 1]

Karkalicious: definition, makes Terezi loco

She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo

Dyin' just to know the flavor

I ain't doin' her no favors

No reasons why I tease

Her flush just comes and goes like seasons

(Four, three, two, Fuck you)

[Chorus]

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)

No, I don't do kismesis

And if you read any fanfics

All that shit is fictitious

I blow kisses (mwah!)

Don't matter if we're just moirails

Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

So delicious (super sweet)

So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)

So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)

I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)

[Interlude]

Karkalicious def-

Goddammit, Doc Scratch stop fucking around with my mic-

[Verse 2]

Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy

Nepeta's always squealin', cutesy pet names like karkitty

I'm the k to the a, r, k, the a, the t

And the majority of pairings had better include me

[Chorus]

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)

My body stays vicious

All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cuz I'm doing some fitness

Zahhak's my witness (whistle)

Bet that ship curls Nepeta's tail

And he'll be needing all the towels 'cuz I'mma make him sweat pails

So delicious (super sweet)

So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)

So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)

I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)

[Bridge]

Baby, baby, baby

If you really want me

Honey get some patience

Maybe then you'll get a taste

I'll be tasty, tasty

I'll be laced with lacy

It's so tasty, tasty

It'll make you crazy

T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty

D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s, to the d, to the e, to the, to the--

I'll just spell it out for you

All the time I turn around trolls gather round always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the color of my blood

I just wanna say it now - I ain't trying to round up any drama, little fucker I just don't want you to know

And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the secret's fucking awesome

But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell

[Chorus]

Terezi says I smell...

Delicious (so delicious)

No, I don't do kismesis

And if you read any fanfics

All that shit is fictitious

I blow kisses (mwah!)

Don't matter if we're just moirails

Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

My body stays vicious

Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cuz I got down to business

Nepeta's my witness (meow~!)

I'll even let her first ship sail

Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail

[Extended Chorus]

So delicious (eridan, see)

So delicious (you can trust me)

So delicious (I'll help you be)

I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy

It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)

So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)

I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)

[Outro]

T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty

D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s

T to the a, to the s t e y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the, to the, to the, to the

To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s

To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s to the d, to the e, to the...now, wait just a motherfuckin' second

[Outro Interlude]

Do I seriously have to spell this shit until the end of the fucking song?

I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original never had access to spellcheck I guess

Because t-a-s-t-e-y does not spell tasty. Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or something?

What do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to write their own grammatical train wrecks and call it music!? What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?

He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore!?

Fuck this shit, I quit!

That’s why you get a copy pasted version instead of hand written by the one and only

#broadway homestuck #LEAVE #go away #stop this madness #stop this nonsense #stop this now #!!!

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disneytva · 2 years

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June 2022 Programming Highlights

Friday, June 10 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney Junior Alice’s Wonderland Bakery “A Special Blend/The Princess and the Hare” (7:00-7:30 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel/4:00-4:30 p.m. EDT on Disney Junior) “A Special Blend” – Alice needs to find a special singer for the garden choir. *Vanessa Bayer (“I Love That For You”) and Bobby Moynihan (“Mr. Mayor”) guest star as Daff and Dill; Lesley Nicol (“Downton Abbey”) guest stars as Iris; Broadway’s Christopher Fitzgerald, James Monroe Iglehart and Mandy Gonzalez guest stars as Thistle, Oliver and Mother Rose, respectively.

“The Princess and the Hare” – When Rosa accidentally tears the Queen’s cape, Alice asks March Hare to help them. TV-Y

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney Junior Puppy Dog Pals “Surf’s Up, Pups!/Rock and Roller Pups” (8:00-8:30 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel/11:30 a.m.-12:00 p.m. EDT on Disney Junior) “Surf’s Up, Pups!” – When Grace doesn’t have a surfboard for her surfing lesson, the pets set out to find one.

“Rock and Roller Pups” – The pups go on a mission to find Grace a disco ball for her birthday. TV-Y

Saturday, June 11 Original Series – Extended Length Episode Premiere on Disney Channel The Ghost and Molly McGee “Citizen McGee/The Internship” (9:30-10:00 a.m. EDT) “Citizen McGee” – When Molly’s “Mayor for a Day” contest win turns into a “Mayor for Life” gig, she struggles under the pressure.

“The Internship” – When Molly interns at Weird Larry’s Pawn Show, she struggles to see the bright side in a shop full of discarded junk. *Sean Giambrone (“The Goldbergs”) guest stars as Reggie, Scratch’s new intern. TV-Y7

Friday, June 17 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney Junior Marvel’s Spidey and his Amazing Friends “Catch and Release/Construction Destruction” (8:30-9:00 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel/12:30-12:30 p.m. EDT on Disney Junior) “Catch and Release” – Miles’ Father’s Day fishing trip is interrupted by Doc Ock’s plan to take over the harbor.

“Construction Destruction” – Spidey, Hulk and Ms. Marvel get in over their heads when a squirrel wreaks havoc. TV-Y

Saturday, June 18 Original Series – Extended Length Episode Premiere on Disney Channel The Ghost and Molly McGee “The Lucky Penny/Lock, Stock and Peril” (9:30-10:00 a.m. EDT) “The Lucky Penny” – Molly and Scratch help Libby improve her luck on Friday the 13th.

“Lock, Stock and Peril” – When the McGee’s get locked in the basement, Molly and Scratch seek help, but have trouble remaining focused. TV-Y7

Monday, June 20 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior Mira, Royal Detective “The Big Jalpur Wedding Mystery” (5:00-5:30 p.m. EDT) It’s the day of a huge, joyful wedding in Jalpur, and Mira and her friends must track down the missing groom so the wedding can go on as planned. TV-Y

Wednesday, June 22 Original Series Premiere – SERIES PREMIERE on Disney Junior Eureka! “Tusks, Trouble and All/Absoflutely Fabulous” (7:30-8:00 p.m. EDT) “Tusks, Trouble and All” – Eureka and her friends, Pepper and Barry, free a woolly mammoth.

“Absoflutely Fabulous” – Eureka tries to befriend a flute player in her class by inventing a new flute. TV-Y

Thursday, June 23 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior Eureka! “Everybody Lava Pizza/Prehistoric Class Pets” (7:30-8:00 p.m. EDT) “Everybody Lava Pizza” – Eureka accidentally unleashes a steam geyser at her mom’s restaurant, which leads to the invention of pizza. *Cree Summer (“Vampirina”) and Kevin Michael Richardson (“Family Guy”) guest star as Verna and Dima, respectively.

“Prehistoric Class Pets” – Pepper’s pet Dipply follows her to school one day, inspiring other pets to do the same. TV-Y

Friday, June 24 Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Channel and Disney Junior Mickey Mouse Funhouse “The Fabulous Five (Plus One)!/Mickey Meets Rocket Mouse!” (6:00-6:30 a.m. EDT on Disney Channel/12:00-12:30 p.m. EDT on Disney Junior) “The Fabulous Five (Plus One)!” – Funny takes the friends to the city of Herotropolis, where they can each have their own superpowers.

“Mickey Meets Rocket Mouse!” – Mickey’s hero, Rocket Mouse, invites Mickey and friends to join his team of mouse-stronauts. *Jaime Camil (“Jane the Virgin”) guest stars as Rocket Mouse TV-Y

Original Series – Episode Premiere on Disney Junior Eureka! “Follow the Sledder/Stinkpod Day” (7:30-8:00 p.m. EDT) “Follow the Sledder” – Eureka invents a vehicle to help her friends get to school faster.

“Stinkpod Day” – Eureka is determined to find a use for stinkpods. TV-Y

Saturday, June 25 Original Series – Extended Length Episode Premiere on Disney Channel The Ghost and Molly McGee “Out of House and Home/Home is Where the Haunt Is” (9:30-10:00 a.m. EDT) “Out of House and Home” – The McGee’s struggle to make ends meet after a hospital trip leaves them nearly broke.

“Home is Where the Haunt Is” – Molly does her best to pretend everything is normal while Scratch protects the house. *Natasha Rothwell (“Insecure”) guest stars as Candace Green, a Brighton relator, and Thomas Lennon (“Reno 911”) returns as Mr. Davenport. TV-Y7

#Eureka #Eureka!#The Ghost And Molly McGee #Ghost And Molly McGee #The Curse Of Molly McGee #Curse Of Molly McGee #Spidey And His Amazing Friends #Spiderman #Mickey Mouse Funhouse #Mickey Mouse #Mira Royal Detective #Puppy Dog Pals #Puppy Dog Tails #Disney Channel #Disney Junior #Disney Jr

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sansxfuckyou · 1 year

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We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Hello everybody! Let me tell you about Homestuck.

John Egbert, Rose Lalonde Ascend, descend, rise up, abscond Jade Harley, Dave Strider They all play Sburb and end the world Harlequin, Nanna, Bro Mom, Dad, Youth Roll Grandpa, Pesterchum Hella Jeff and Sweet Bro

Heat and Clockwork, Wind and Shade Frost and Frogs, Light and Rain Vagabond and Mendicant Renegade, consorts, and Denizens Skaia, 413 Countdown to the Reckoning Derse and Prospit, Carapaces Pogo Hammer, Sassacre

You can't fight the Homestuck! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom You can't fight the Homestuck! True, it's quite outrageous, but it's so contagious! You might also like Daylight David Kushner Karkalicious Broadway Karkat First Girlfriend Tydus

Jasper's secret, Davesprite Casey, Mutie, doomed timelines Good dog, best friend Jack causes many people's end Black Queen, Nak Nak Stuffing corpses, shoosh-pap Robot bunnies, Midnight Crew "H3Y COOL K1D, 1S TH1S YOU >:?"

Lil' Cal, babies Ectobiology Apple juice, Pupa Pan Nic Cage, city of cans Doc Scratch, Snowman I warned you 'bout those stairs, man! God Tiers, march drag Who even is this douchebag?

You can't fight the Homestuck! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom You can't fight the Homestuck! True, it's quite outrageous, but it's so contagious!

Exploring with Aradia Tavros, Sollux, Nepeta Terezi's nuts, Karkat's a crab Gamzee's got issues with his dad Equius, Feferi Kanaya the vampire fashion queen She slices Eridan in half And Vriska is a badass

Shipping charts, sick fires All the irons in the fire Buckets, squiddles, angels All the Lusi get culled Faygo, Recupercoons Horrorterrors kill you! Troll Jegus, killer clown Mobius double reacharound!

You can't fight the Homestuck! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom You can't fight the Homestuck! True, it's quite outrageous, but it's so contagious!

Matesprits, auspistice Moirail, kismesis Betty Crocker, ICP Dead Daves are the enemy! Green sun, Alpha-verse Jane, Roxy, Jake and Dirk UU, princely tights Guy Fieri is the Anti-Christ

Captchalogue modus, and Strife Specibus Heir and Knight, Witch and Seer Can't outrun what's already here!

You can't fight the Homestuck! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom You can't fight the Homestuck! True, it's quite outrageous, but it's so contagious!

Dream bubbles, Shenanigans All who die come back again T1CK t0ck 8r8k H3ADS HONK honk, scary wolf heads Cue balls, magic dogs The universe is a frog Felt mob and fairies Lord English killed Hussie

Troll cops, Thresh Prince Don't screw with the Condesce! Scalemates, rap wars Blowing up the Tumor Zillyhoo, shaving cream Echeladder, Science beam Cascade, Morse code This fandom's about to explode!

You can't fight the Homestuck! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom You can't fight the Homestuck! And from now on, it will go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on! You can't fight the Homestuck! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom You can't fight the Homestuck! True, it's quite outrageous, but it's so contagious! You can't fight the Homestuck! Though it's weird and random, it's the greatest fandom You can't fight the Homestuck! True, it's quite outrageous, but it's so contagious!

#ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS DID THIS #asks #the bestie anon #you still get the ask tag though #you get homestuck for this anon

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hskinhome · 2 years

Note

i’d like to request a shufflemancy regarding how I acted as a personification of sburb?

The Room Where It Happens / Hamilton Original Broadway Cast

———————————–

No one else was in

The room where it happened (The room where it happened)

The room where it happened

The room where it happened (The room where it happened)

No one really knows how the game is played (Game is played)

The art of the trade

How the sausage gets made (How the sausage gets made)

We just assume that it happens (Assume that it happens)

But no one else is in

The room where it happens. (The room where it happens.)

———————————–

You were extremely mysterious and hid the game's secrets from the others. You were omniscient much like Doc Scratch, and god-like inside the game. No one really knew how you worked, and you just made things happen without sharing why or how.

#homestuck #homestuck kin #shufflemancy #sburb kin #sburb personification kin #mod nepeta

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ariel-seagull-wings · 3 years

Text

TOP 12 PORTRAYALS OF RAPUNZEL

@princesssarisa @sunlit-music @superkingofpriderock @mademoiselle-princesse @amalthea9 @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @astrangechoiceoffavourites @notyouraveragejulie @tilthenextbluemoon @giuliettaluce

Rapunzel, Rapunzel: lay down your hair so i can climb the golden stair!

These are the words to call the lady named after a vegetable, so one can climb her hair and visit the tower where she is kept prisoner. At the same time that she is known for her exotic name and very long hair, personality wise Rapunzel tends to get very underestimated. Some adaptations gaved her a pretty passive role, and pop culture parodies would usually paint her as “just a girl who cries for the Prince to save her”, downplaying the inteligence and resilience to adapt into harsh situations that she showed in the original Brothers Grimm’s tale. So today, i will share my twelve favorite portrayals of the long haired heroine, that showed respect to her, gaved her carisma and made justice to her strenghts.

12º The version from ‘The Story of Rapunzel’ (1951)

At the start of his career as a stop motion animator, Ray Harryhausen made, with the collaboration of his relatives, a series of shorts based on fairy tales. Those shorts were ‘The Mother Goose Stories’, ‘The Tortoise and The Hare’, ‘The Story of Rapunzel’, ‘The Story of Hansel and Gretel’, ‘The Story of Little Red Riding Hood’ and ‘The Story of King Midas’ (when this tale started to be taken out of greek mythology and be perceived as a medieval fairy tale in the public conscience), where the characters were silent and the voice was given to a narrator. This encarnation of Rapunzel is more on the naive and passive spectrum, but i like her design and the fact she is animated in stop motion, plus the short is historically significant for being one of the early atempts to adapt her tale , and that’s why she has a place on this ranking.

11º The version from Simsala Grimm (1999)

In this german-french, two plushies, Yoyo and Doc Croc, receive life from a magic book to have adventures inside the Brother’s Grimm tales. They go to the tale of Rapunzel and help her and Prince Egmond get together. This encarnation of Rapunzel is kept as both prisoner and apprentice of Frau Gothel, who wants to turn the young woman into a mean spirited sorceress like her. But Rapunzel can only make spells that create pretty and merry things, like squirrels and birds. It’s a nice touch of humour, and that grants her the Eleventh Place at this ranking.

10º Mackenzie Mauzy in Disney’s Into the Woods (2014)

This movie as a whole is a weak adaptation of the now classic Broadway stage musical. But it had some enjoyable elements, one of them being Mackenzie Mauzy’s performance as Rapunzel. Mauzy has a short time on screen, but in that short time she brings beauty, grace, melancholy and anger to the role, and this makes it stand out enough to be the Tenth Place in this ranking.

09º Linda Purl in Timeless Tales from Hallmark (1990-91)

Timeless Tales from Hallmark was a direct to video series that had a live action hosted by Olivia Newton John and animated segments showing the fairy tale of the day, animated by the Hannah-Barbera studio. Purl’s Rapunzel is the romantic dreamer archetype, who sings her wish to be free. She has two encounters with the Prince before getting caught by the Witch Scarlotta, having her hair cutted and exiled to the distant woods. She reunites with the Prince, who has been turned into a blue bird (i see what you did there, screenwriters), and breaks the spell over him with her tears. She should smell more onions to cry and bottle those tears, that can be very usefull.

08º Tisha Campbell in Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child (1995)

In the bayous of Louisiana, Rapunzel is taken from her parents by Zenobia the Hoodoo Diva (played by Whoopi Goldberg, by the way), who seeks to make her a protege and shows her such neat tricks as voodoo dolls and shrinking her head down. Rapunzel is reluctant to do this when she sees Zenobia is hurting innocent creatures. Rapunzel soon attracts a handsome Creole prince, who must rescue Rapunzel and reunite her with her parents, but Zenobia seeks to thwart the interloper. One of the first african-american portrayals, this kind yet rebellious encarnation is a refreshing take on the character, and that is why she takes the Eight Place here.

07º Mandy Moore in Disney’s Tangled (2010)

After her mother dranked a tea made of a magical flower, Rapunzel was born with a magical hair that is able to heal any desease and rejuvenate anyone who touches it. Because of that, she was kidnapped and emprisoned in a Tower by Gothel, who raises Rapunzel to be insecure and afrayed of the outside world. But her curiosity is more powerfull, and with the guidance of a thief named Flinn Rider, the young lady escapes the Tower and goes on a journey to discover both what is scary and what is beautifull on the outside world with her own eyes, along the way captivating people with her merry and spontaneous personality, wich gives her the Seventh Place on this list.

06º Pamela Winslow Kashani in American Playhouse: Into the Woods (1991)

The lady who originated the role in the Broadway stage musical. Like Mackenzie Mauzy, Pamela Winslow Kashani brings the beauty, the grance, the melancholy and the anger to the role, but with an extra touch of energetic humour, taking advantage of the fact that she is in a stage show and getting intense as possible. That humour in the First Act is what makes her PTSD and tragic death in the Second Act all the more heartbreaking. Plus, she probably has the most beautifull singing voice ever gaved to a Rapunzel encarnation, and sometimes that is enough to earn a place in my rankings.

05º Mitsuko Horie/Lara Cody in Grimm’s Fairy Tale Classics (1988-89)

This encarnation has a tragic backstory, having been forgotten by her parents after they received a memory spell from the Witch and they had three more kids after her. She is raised in the Tower as the Witch’s granddaughter, and develops a great talent to play the harp. Is the sound of that harp that attracts the atention of the Prince, who comes to the tower and conquers Rapunzel’s love. Sadly, when they are making plans on how to take her away from the Tower, the Witch sees the Prince climbing down, so she cuts Rapunzel’s hair and beats her till unconsciousness before exiling the poor young woman in the desert, where she learns to survive while raising the son that she conceived with the Prince, who searches for Rapunzel despite being blinded by thorns.

04º Luisa Wietzorek in Sechs Auf Einen Streich (2009)

This adaptation gives some interesting touches to Rapunzel’s story and character: until age 12, she lived a nomadic life, travelling in Gothel’s donkey pulled cart. But one day Gothel spots Rapunzel talking with a young boy, and decides to lock her in the Tower, where there is a magic golden haircomb that makes Rapunzel’s hair grow to be used as a ladder by her adoptive mother. Years pass, and the destiny brings the Prince, who was the young boy of the pass, to the Tower where the now grown up Rapunzel lives, and she has to face a dilema: continuing to live in the Tower, that brings the feel of comfort and safety, or taking risks and running away to freedom with the Prince she fell in love with.

03º Kelly Sheridan in Barbie as Rapunzel (2002)

This was my first animated adaptation of the fairy tale, and still is my favorite. In this movie, while giving some painting lessons to her little sister, Barbie tells a version of the Rapunzel story to encourage her creativity: kidnapped as a baby by the Witch Gothel, Rapunzel was raised as a house maid, receiving constant verbal mistreatments. But, thanks to her friendship with a rabbit named Hobie and a dragon cub (who still needs to learn how to fly) called Penelope, and her love of painting, the young long haired lady never lets her spirit be broken, always dreaming of someday go to live free in a castle by the sea. One night, she is surprised to find a haircomb that turns into a magic paint brush, wich can make a portal where she can escape and explore the ouside world, and in her first journey, she meets and falls in love with the dashing Prince Stefan, while asking him to not his name to her, because she is afrayed of being forced to tell it to Gothel. And she doesn’t stay long, because she fears that Gothel will get revenge on Hugo, Penelope’s father, for her escape. Talk about having a great sense of altruism, who wouldn’t want to have this lady as their best friend?!

02º Sylvia Wolff in Rapunzel oder Der Zauber der Tränen (1988)

This german TV Movie combines the tale of Rapunzel with another, more obscure tale collected by the Brothers Grimm, called Maid Maleen. In this version, Rapunzel growed up very acustomed to the comfort and rich life provided by the Old Witch, using a magic reel to roll her hair in and make it grow to be used as a latter. Even tough she is in love with Prince Mathias, she is afrayed of going to the outside world. Later, not being enough that the Old Witch discovers her secret, cuts of her hair and blinds Prince Mathias, the King, after learning the existence of a maiden in the tower who becamed the love of his son, orders his troops to search the tower and seal its window, because he wants Mathias to marry another neighbour princess he arranged for him! Fortunally one of the soldiers takes enough pity to let a loose brick so Rapunzel can breath. She tries to use the point reel to scratch the clay that glues the bricks, and after cutting herself in the reel and crying over it, the reel regains magic, floating, opening the bricks, helping her to escape to the outside world and search for her beloved Mathias...

And my Number One favorite portrayal of Rapunzel is:

01º Shelley Duvall in Faerie Tale Theatre (1983)

There were some small changes made in some detailles of the story (radishes replacing rampion to be more familiar with international, non german audiences, insinuation that the Peasants Wife’s craving of the vegetal was a spell purposefully cast by the Witch, Rapunzel being traped in the Tower at adulthood instead of age twelve and a talking parrot/macaw that tells the Witch of the Prince’s visits), but as a whole, this is probably the most faithfull adaptation of the Brothers Grimm tale, and is all the more benefited for it, specially Rapunzel’s character, portrayed by the shows herself, Shelley Duvall. Duvall presented a very sincere passion for the source material, and in her performance, she showed a deep understanding of Rapunzel’s character and why she resonates with so many people: her rebeliousness, her curiosity, her romanticism, her inteligence, her quiet strenght, her resilience and her sense of hope, all of those qualities that the Grimm’s described in their heroine, are all there! When i watch this episode of Faerie Tale Theatre, i don’t see an actress playing a role, i see an icon of my childhood coming to life!

And that is why Shelley Duvall in Faerie Tale Theatre is whom i consider my definitive Rapunzel.

#rapunzel #literature #brothers grimm #fantasy #moodboards #rankings #musings #fandom musings #wallpapers #tumblr mutuals #pop culture

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popentertainment-moviereviews · 4 years

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THE BEE GEES: HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART? (2020)

Featuring Barry Gibb, Peter Brown, Eric Clapton, Vince Melouney, Mark Ronson, Noel Gallagher, Mykaell Riley, Lulu, Nick Jonas, Linda Gibb, Alan Kendall, Yvonne Gibb, Bill Oakes, Dennis Byron, Blue Weaver, Karl Richardson, Chris Martin, Albhy Galuten, Justin Timberlake, Nicky Siano, Charlie Steiner, Vince Lawrence, Dwina Gibb, and archival footage of Robin Gibb, Maurice Gibb, Hugh Gibb, Barbara Gibb, Robert Stigwood, Arif Mardin, Lindsey Buckingham, Alice Cooper, Mick Fleetwood, Steve Dahl, John Travolta, Ed Sheeran and Andy Gibb.

Directed by Frank Marshall.

Distributed by HBO Documentary Films. 111 minutes. Not Rated.

Screened from the 2020 Philadelphia Film Festival.

Although they don’t always get the respect of say Lennon/McCartney, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon or several others, the Gibb brothers – Barry, Robin and Maurice – should be right up at the top of the list of the great songwriters of the 20th Century. Not only that, they were amazing performers – natural singers with an uncanny sense of harmony. They created some of the most gorgeous ballads of the 1960s and early 1970s before reinventing themselves as a dance band, which led to one of the greatest hot streaks in music history. As pointed out in this film, from 1977 through 1979, it was not unusual to find songs that they either performed or wrote in four of the top five positions of the pop charts.

The songs speak for themselves. “Massachusetts.” “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?” “Jive Talkin’.” “Staying Alive.” “Run to Me.” “Too Much Heaven.” “To Love Somebody.” “I Started a Joke.” “How Deep is Your Love?” “Nights on Broadway.” “You Should Be Dancing.” “Lonely Days.” That’s just scratching the surface of the Bee Gees’ hits. Most artists would give anything for half as many songs that became musical standards.

This is at least the third full documentary on The Bee Gees of the new millennium, each one exactly a decade apart. Previously, there was Bee Gees: This Is Where I Came In in 2000, which was released in conjunction with what turned out to be the band’s final original album of the same name. Then, in 2010 they released Bee Gees: In Our Own Time. And now, as timely as the census, we have our 2020 Bee Gees doc, Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart.

Unfortunately, since two of the brothers Gibb are now dead (three, if you count youngest brother Andy, who had a very successful solo career), the filmmakers had to use archival interview footage of everyone but Barry (and they even used some older footage of him). I can’t swear to it, because it has been a long time since I saw it, but I am almost certain that the interview footage from Robin and Maurice (and some of Barry, too) was the same footage used in This Is Where I Came In. Not only that, since Maurice died in 2003, I’m almost positive that they previously had resurrected some of this same interview footage from In Our Own Time.

However, there is new interview footage of Barry here, as well as from their producers, musical fans and members of their band, so this is not all just a repeat of previous films.

And, let’s face it, the Bee Gee’s life story and most importantly their music is endlessly entertaining, so if they are going to release a film on it every decade or so, even though the band has not released any new product in about 20 years, I’m on board.

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart? actually adds a touch of tragic pathos to the story. Barry Gibb – the oldest of the brothers and probably the most recognizable – is now alone. As he states towards the end of the film, he still misses every single one of them and still feels like they should be performing together, even though they are long gone. Andy died soon after his 30th birthday in 1988, of a heart attack due to a previous drug problem. (He had just been announced as an official member of the Bee Gees soon before his death.) Maurice died in 2003, due to a surprise complication on what was supposed to be a fairly standard surgery. Robin succumbed to cancer in 2012.

The film occasionally plays fast and loose with their history. During Robin’s early 1970s break with his brothers, the film says that the band was completely broken up for a year and a half, but Barry and Maurice released the Bee Gees’ Cucumber Castle album and telefilm as a duo, while Robin tried his hand as a solo artist – which was shown here. (However, the film ignores Barry and Robin’s solo attempts in the mid-80s.)

Also, as far as the disco backlash that finally knocked the band from the top reaches of the charts, the film blames the – granted stupid – novelty song “Disco Duck” for the death of disco. But they forget to acknowledge that song came out a year and a half before Saturday Night Fever – in fact, it was even used mockingly in the film (though not on the soundtrack album) during a scene of middle-aged squares learning how to disco dance.

However, it is nice that as a talking head, house musician Vince Lawrence, who was working as an usher at Chicago’s Comiskey Park on the day of Steve Dahl’s infamous “Disco Demolition” stunt, which did essentially kill disco, called it out for what it was – a racist and homophobic book burning.

However, calling the Bee Gees a disco band would be way, way underestimating them. They were one of the great pop groups of their time, and Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart is almost two hours of sheer bliss.

(Ed. Note: Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the 2020 annual Philadelphia Film Festival has been changed to a virtual festival. All films and Q&As will be available for streaming. You can get information on the festival at their website target="_blank"http://filmadelphia.org/festival/)

Jay S. Jacobs

#Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?#2020 #Movie Reviews #The Bee Gees #Jay S. Jacobs #PFF29 #Philadelphia Film Festival

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chispas-and-broken-bindings · 4 years

Text

So, I started this WIP back at the beginning of the pandemic...and I’ll probably leisurely continue it, though I don’t think I’ll post it to AO3 until I have a lot more of it written or I have it completed.

Basically, it’s a pandemic/In The Mood for Love AU where Jon and Sansa knew each other before a northern rebellion that ended in Robb/Ned dying and Sansa marrying her college boyfriend, Harry, while she was in college in the south.

The story takes place years after the conflict ended, when Jon moves down to King’s Landing to complete some post-doc research and Sansa has been living in King’s Landing with her husband, Harry. He and his partner, Val, move into the same building and when Harry/Val go on a business trip before quarantine starts, Sansa and Jon help each other heal old wounds.

Supporting cast of characters (drunk poet Tyrion and his very new girlfriend Shae; Civil Engineer Brienne, Jazz musician Tormund, teenage Margaery and her landlady grandmother Olenna Tyrell, retired Broadway actress Myranda Royce, Asha Greyjoy and her couchsurfing brother Theon, and divorced dad Beric and his precocious son Ned.)

It’s shameless self-indulgence at this point.

Anyway, a little excerpt from the prologue below the break.

8 Months Ago

The last time Jon had seen Sansa Stark was the summer before she left for college in the Vale, three years before the rebellion. She had smelled like coconut sunscreen and cherry chapstick and had been vibrantly snotty in the way only particularly attractive teenage girls can get away with, bickering constantly with Arya and doing her best to ignore pretty much everyone else for the two weeks they spent at the Stark's lake house.

When Jon got the invitation to complete his post-doctorate research at King's Landing College, it was Catelyn Stark who suggested he get in touch with her eldest daughter. After all, she had spent the last seven years in the city. Who better to help them track down an apartment in the famously expensive metropolis? The sophisticated woman who met him and Val at the café across the street from Highgarden apartments was a far cry from the haughty freckled teenager from his memories. Sansa Stark re-entered his life in a palette of cream and beige, her copper hair tamed to a shiny straight sheet and not a freckle to be found on her pale flawless skin.

"Jon Snow." She stood before him, offering a perfectly manicured hand. "You look just the same." He scratched at his brow.

"Well, that's certainly a line," Val laughed, taking Sansa's hand in her own. "The last time you saw him, he was just a fresh-faced ingénue, right? I've seen pictures. He was a bonny lad before the beard and the falcon."

"And, this is Val." Jon nodded as Sansa's smile widened, reaching her eyes. "Val, this is Sansa Stark."

"Hardyng."

"Right. Congratulations. Sorry, I didn't send a card or anything."

"Jon, you always were so painfully honest. You could have just told me the mixer got stopped by border patrol, and I'd be none the wiser. It was years ago, anyhow." When Sansa turned to order a skinny decaf latte from the barista in the rapid-fire accentless clip of a southern city-dweller, Val arched an eyebrow at Jon in question, but he just shrugged. It had been a stupid thing to say. He knew she had married during the rebellion, behind enemy-lines. Without her family.

"So, I know this isn't the most convenient commute to campus, but it’s a great neighborhood." Sansa explained as they stepped back outside, and Jon looked around in mild surprise. When she had e-mailed him to let him know a unit opened up in her own building, he had expected her to live in one of the glossy River Row condos or perhaps in one of the growing suburbs. Instead, they were in the heart of the old city, just a few blocks east of the infamous historic brothel district, in a neighborhood of narrow cobbled streets, oddly angled walk-ups and the scent of late summer blooms creating a heady mixture with the less savory smells rising from the sewers grates.

Though it was late morning on a Tuesday, the sidewalks were filled with dog-walkers and couples and Jon was charmed by the colorful entryways and clotheslines crisscrossing the alleyways. It was nothing like the miles of untouched tundra that Jon and Val were used to, but if they must be surrounded by people, Jon figured this was about as charming a neighborhood as they were likely to find.

#jonsa #wip excerpt #wip wednesday #jonsaff #jonsa fanfiction

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broadway-stuck · 5 months

Text

after a hard year of work we give you this, featuring doc scratch + all the trolls. happy holidays, remember to watch out for meteors!

lyrics by candyGroove

lyrics under the cut!

(Verse 1)

[DOC SCRATCH] The first day of Twelfth Perigee, I killed th-

[TEREZI] Oh, what's this? A scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 2)

[DOC SCRATCH] ...Hmm. On the second day of Twelfth Perigee, I took the lives of ev--

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 3)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the third day of Twelfth Perigee, I took the lives of ever--

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz and

[TEREZI] A scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 4)

[DOC SCRATCH] As I was trying to say, I took the lives of everyone--

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz and--

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 5)

[DOC SCRATCH] I will not join in this nonsense. You'll just have to trust--

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI, giggling] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz and

[TEREZI] A scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 6)

[DOC SCRATCH] Will you STOP interrupting me? All I'm trying to do is--

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 7)

[DOC SCRATCH] Fine. If this is the fate I am chained to, then I will perform.

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 8)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the eighth day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 9)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the ninth day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave

[GAMZEE] Nine cans of faygo

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 10)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the tenth day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave...

[ERIDAN] Ten breakup letters

[GAMZEE] Nine cans of faygo

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 11)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the eleventh day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave

[ARADIA] Eleven frogs a-leaping

[ERIDAN] Ten breakup letters

[GAMZEE] Nine cans of faygo

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six revving chainsaws

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI, confused] Oh-- Wait, Chainsaws? Four... cuttlefish?

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 12)

[DOC SCRATCH] And on the twelfth day of Twelfth Perigee, I KILLED THEM ALL! With...

[EQUIUS] Twelve rippling hoofbeasts

[ARADIA] Eleven robot bodies

[ERIDAN] Ten piles with CAPTOR!

[GAMZEE] Nine hours with the puppet

[VRISKA] Eight stabs in the back

[TAVROS] Seven feet off a ledge

[KANAYA] Six revving chainsaws

[KARKAT] Five ominous honks

[FEFERI, crying] Four culled friends

[NEPETA] Three deep cuts

[SOLLUX] Two doomed mortal loves

[ALL] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

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broadway-docscratch · 8 months

Text

#broadwaystuck #broadway Doc Scratch #broadway homestuck #homestuck #Doc Scratch #reupload for the tags and proper credit

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popentertainmentmusic · 4 years

Photo

THE BEE GEES: HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART? (2020)

Directed by Frank Marshall.

Distributed by HBO Documentary Films. 111 minutes. Not Rated.

Screened from the 2020 Philadelphia Film Festival.

However, there is new interview footage of Barry here, as well as from their producers, musical fans and members of their band, so this is not all just a repeat of previous films.

Jay S. Jacobs

#The Bee Gees #2020 #Music Review #How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?#Jay S. Jacobs

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catgirlweed · 4 years

Note

I'm excited when Rosemary is finally sunk once and for all. It's a toxic ship.

Karkalicious

Broadway Karkat

This song is one of many songs sung by Broadway Karkat/cantabileGato. She sings the song as Karkat…read more »

37.8K

KARKALICIOUS LYRICS

[Intro]

Four, three, two, fuck you

Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic

Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonics!

[Verse 1]

Karkalicious: definition, makes Terezi loco

She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo

Dyin' just to know the flavor

I ain't doin' her no favors

No reasons why I tease

Her flush just comes and goes like seasons

(Four, three, two, Fuck you)

[Chorus]

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)

No, I don't do kismesis

And if you read any fanfics

All that shit is fictitious

I blow kisses (mwah!)

Don't matter if we're just moirails

Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

So delicious (super sweet)

So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)

So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)

I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)

[Interlude]

Karkalicious def-

Goddammit, Doc Scratch stop fucking around with my mic-

[Verse 2]

Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy

Nepeta's always squealin', cutesy pet names like karkitty

I'm the k to the a, r, k, the a, the t

And the majority of pairings had better include me

[Chorus]

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)

My body stays vicious

All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cuz I'm doing some fitness

Zahhak's my witness (whistle)

Bet that ship curls Nepeta's tail

And he'll be needing all the towels 'cuz I'mma make him sweat pails

So delicious (super sweet)

So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)

So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)

I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)

[Bridge]

Baby, baby, baby

If you really want me

Honey get some patience

Maybe then you'll get a taste

I'll be tasty, tasty

I'll be laced with lacy

It's so tasty, tasty

It'll make you crazy

T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty

D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s, to the d, to the e, to the, to the--

I'll just spell it out for you

All the time I turn around trolls gather round always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the color of my blood

I just wanna say it now - I ain't trying to round up any drama, little fucker I just don't want you to know

And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the secret's fucking awesome

But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell

[Chorus]

Terezi says I smell...

Delicious (so delicious)

No, I don't do kismesis

And if you read any fanfics

All that shit is fictitious

I blow kisses (mwah!)

Don't matter if we're just moirails

Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

My body stays vicious

Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cuz I got down to business

Nepeta's my witness (meow~!)

I'll even let her first ship sail

Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail

[Extended Chorus]

So delicious (eridan, see)

So delicious (you can trust me)

So delicious (I'll help you be)

I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy

It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)

So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)

I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)

[Outro]

T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty

D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s

T to the a, to the s t e y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the, to the, to the, to the

To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s

To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s to the d, to the e, to the...now, wait just a motherfuckin' second

[Outro Interlude]

Do I seriously have to spell this shit until the end of the fucking song?

I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original never had access to spellcheck I guess

Because t-a-s-t-e-y does not spell tasty. Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or something?

What do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to write their own grammatical train wrecks and call it music!? What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?

He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore!?

Fuck this shit, I quit!

[Instrumental Outro]

#karkalicious is so much longer than i remember wth #anon

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stunudo · 6 years

Quote

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

Buddha

Craters 4

A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction

Featuring: Genderneutral Reader and Spencer Reid

Setting: Season 10

A/N: Violence, language, and talk of dead bodies. Thank you all for reading this really dark thing I created. Bold type is the present. Italics are the future. xoxo Stu

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Your name: submit What is this?

Dr. Reid banged on the cell door frame, getting the cops to release him. He glanced back at you over his shoulder, his eyes calculating. In that glance you saw the man behind the genius and it filled you with the first genuine glimmer of fear you had felt since you had been taken in for questioning.

You had no where to go and nothing to do, but wait. You resigned yourself to these simple truths and laid back down on the unforgiving cot.

September 21, 2014

Jerry had finished digging, the sandy soil cleared away enough to finally get to work. It was an end of summer heat wave and he owed it to me to get this over with. I hadn’t slept in three days. I put on Memory from my mom’s old cassette soundtrack of the Broadway play Cats, the old boom box rattled with the volume. She wore her green dress from her forty year high school reunion and was wrapped in one of my grandmother’s quilts.

I let the song fade into the next and the next, watching the dirt fall over my mother’s body was a sight I will never forget. This miserable excuse for a friend had given my mother a heart attack and somehow convinced me to keep it a secret. We didn’t like cops and his play thing was still recovering from their wild weekend. I had no one else in the entire world but Jerry now. It made me sick to my stomach.

Eventually the sun went down and Jerry stopped letting me rewind the tape. He took the boom box back into the truck, leaving it in the bed with the shovels. I don’t remember him carrying me into the cab, but he must have since I woke up in my bed the next morning.

“Garcia? Tell me about Y/N’s mother.” Reid barked into the comm unit still live from the unsuccessful raid.

“Homeowner, single, mother to Y/N, uh, hello.” Garcia sputtered. “She left her job late last month because she had quote “struck it rich”. Which unless it was with a backwoods gambling operation, she did not.”

“My girl! Now tell me, did she quit in person or email?” Morgan crooned.

“Letter, like from a good, old fashioned type writer.” She replied, “The bus company scanned it into their records.”

“Right in line with the timeline.” Hotch muttered, pointing at the dates on the cork board.

“She died?!” JJ guessed.

“Okay, but who killed her?” Rossi prodded.

“Y/N or the unsub?” Callahan thought aloud.

“Hotch, what if this is the trigger?” Reid finally spoke up.

“Death of the mother would be a traumatic enough event to push even someone as mild mannered as Y/N over the edge.”

“But we profiled Swanson as our unsub.” Morgan challenged.

“But why?” Hotch replied. “Because he had ties to all of the victims?”

“He also has a history of violence against women.” Callahan spat.

“But what if it wasn’t Jerry?” Hotch countered.

“Jerry isn’t the unsub. He’s the motive.” Reid finished.

September 22, 2014

I was in the kitchen just before dusk, filling the sink for dishes. We hadn’t been very good on chores over the weekend. The girl wouldn’t shut up about how sorry she was about my mom.

“That’s terrible, man. Like, I can’t get her face out of my mind. You know?” She rambled, scratching at her arms as she came down from the days long binge. I never really listened to Jerry’s girls talk for very long. Usually they didn’t like me or I zoned out long enough for them to leave me alone. This one was not getting the hint.

“Do you know when Jer’ll be back? I don’t really want to walk home.” Her voice was part whine and part cough. I ignored her and made myself a sandwich, I had an hour before I had to start my shift. If I had ever had a pet, I would have known what to do with the chick. But, I hadn’t, and my nerves were exposed wires after my mom, had, you know.

I listened to the second hand click away and counted. It was nearly seventy three seconds after her head went into the soapy water that her body stopped fighting me. But I didn’t count all the way up, I did rows of twenties. As her body fell soaking on to the floor, the purest sense of ease filled me. And I began to laugh at the little rag doll on the floor.

Hotch, Morgan and JJ took the rooms on the ground floor as Reid, Callahan and Rossi scaled the stairs for the second floor motel rooms. The team and the locals surrounded the motel, bar and small shed, the house belonging to the unsub’s mother had turned up neither the missing Gerald Swanson or any other victims. They had yet to locate the body of the mother as well.

The dusty inn had many vacancies, leaving the BAU to invade only a handful of innocent people’s rooms. Morgan and Hotch had cleared the last room facing the parking lot when JJ froze.

“Do you hear that?” The blonde paused and the frantic rattling of metal against a hard surface met her fellow agents’ ears.

Derek was the first one into the attached bathroom. Hanging in the shower stall by his wrists was Jerry Swanson. His stocking feet were half soaked with a combination of his own blood and the water dripping from the shower head. His mouth had been duct taped shut.

“Hold on man, we got you.” Derek lifted up the lanky man to ease the strain on his shoulder sockets while JJ cut through the leather belt holding him in place.

Hotch hung back and called paramedics, considering how out of the way this place was, he worried it may be too late. Reid, Rossi and Callahan met at the crime scene, searching the room for evidence to use against Y/N. Reid found it on the bedside table, in small print across the generic motel notepad was a single sentence, over and over again.

“I will not be a bad friend anymore.”

“It looks like Y/N went from one to infinity on the disciplinary scale with Jerry here.” Rossi pointed out over Reid’s shoulder.

“The penmanship slips, I wonder how much blood he lost before he was given the task.” Spencer Reid said.

September 30, 2014

Jerry hadn’t quite been himself lately and I knew it was my fault. I didn’t like seeing my friend down. But I didn’t say anything, I just mulled it over and over in my head. Jerry and I never really talked about feelings, just making sure we had a good time.

I just had to get Jerry to have some fun and he would be able to forget about how bad he felt about what happened to my mom. At least that is what I guessed was bothering him. You don’t just kill your best friend’s mom and forget about it, like that. Right?

Walking home the next morning I heard a car approach behind me, which was odd as they usually barely slow down and ease around. I ignored it, thinking it got turned around on the way out of town.

“Y/N?” A woman’s voice called to me. “Do you want a ride?”

It was Jerry’s ex Traci, I wasn’t raised to be rude. I glanced over my shoulder at her leaning out of the driver’s side window and nodded. I slipped into the passenger seat of her salt rusted station wagon and put on the seat belt.

“Thanks, Trace.”

“We found Jerry, Y/N.”

“Is he alright?” You asked honestly, his punishment wasn’t supposed to last this long.

“He’s in intensive care at the Central Hospital in Dixon.” Dr. Reid’s voice was flat. He remained defiantly outside of the holding cell. You approached him steadily, looking around to the surrounding officers in intimidation stances.

“That’s a good hospital, thank you.”

“You’re thanking me?” Dr. Reid shook his head. “You’re the one that put him in there.”

“Honestly, no. Jerry got himself in trouble and you folks kept me from releasing him from his punishment, yesterday.”

“Tell me about the girls, Y/N.”

“What about them?” You asked, leaning into the bars, waiting for the questions to flow freely now that you were freed from the sidestepping.

“You said you watched Jerry have fun with the girls. When did it go from watching to killing, Y/N?”

“Dr. Reid, Jerry had lots of girls over to the house. I’m not quite sure which ones you think that I killed.”

“Y/N, where’s the last girl? Traci Stevens, where is she?”

“Now, Traci I do know, cuz she was nice to me. Gave me a ride home couple a weeks ago. Even before that she was nice, she kicked Jerry out so he could come home to me.”

“Where is she, Y/N?”

“I sure don’t know, Doc-tor Reid.” His lips told you he was not amused, but his eyes looked impressed.

“Jerry will tell us everything we need to know, Y/N.”

You wanted to believe he was bluffing, but there was nothing he needed from you anymore. Nothing besides where to find Traci. It was a simple thing, but after years of giving, you were done. You shrugged, “If Jerry talks there is nothing I can do about it. I could never depend on him anyhow.”

October 14, 2014

Jerry had picked Traci over me, in the end. He wouldn’t hurt her, even though he usually liked roughing up his lovers a bit. Making them scream, that’s why he found me such a challenge. Nothing he ever did to me got me to wail like those girls he would play with. Traci was kept in the basement since the day she gave me the ride home, for the most part Jerry was grateful.

But it was just because I hadn’t killed her, too, like the girl he was fucking when he killed my mom. I didn’t want to kill Traci, I wanted to keep Jerry home. If I had something he loved, he would be happy staying with me. I had taken away some of his used toys, but at least he still had her. Traci wasn’t supposed to die, but she must have gotten sick or something cuz she pleaded for medicine or some whisky the afternoon before I left for work.

Walking in the next morning I found Jerry strung out and Traci on the couch, he had cut her ties and let her out of her space in the corner.

“Jerry, what did you do?” I snapped my fingers trying to get him to focus.

“She’s gone. Traci’s gone. Just let me die.” He moaned.

It took me nearly all day to deal with the body, driving back to the woods where we camped during the Cranberry Festival two summers ago. I hated driving, but I kept the speed limit and Jerry told me how to get there. He was slobbering and sobbing the entire time. And I had to stop myself from yelling at him that it was all his fault. He was good to me when we buried my mom, so I tried.

After Traci was gone for good, we drove back home. I had to get cleaned up before work and Jerry had finally started to sleep off the drugs. It was just before bar close when Jerry stormed into the motel office yelling like a wild man.

“Y/N, you sick fuck. How could you?! You were supposed to be my friend.” He shoved me as I sat in the office chair, leaning half his body across the front desk. I grabbed his arm and bent it behind his back, slamming his head on to the piles of assorted fliers for local businesses.

“Eleven years you’ve been dragging me along like a lost puppy, Jerry. Whose the sick fuck? Huh? Cuz I’m finally seeing this friendship needs serious help.”

“Now, you’re going to hang out for awhile and think about what you’ve done.” I explained to Jerry, patting his face gently before his head lolled back to the side. I closed the door to the motel room tightly behind me and headed back to the office. I had another two hours of my shift left and still needed to clear the closing trash from the bar. The fall air had turned chilly and I hopped from foot to foot to keep warm.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” A stern voice called from the parking lot, an SUV and a squad car had appeared out of thin air.

July 15, 2016

I had started from the beginning, laying my whole life out for the woman before me. She wore a sleek suit, but nothing distracting. Her eyes were blank, I couldn’t read her thoughts one way or another. I stopped trying pretty quick. I traced patterns on the table as I explained about my dad and how tough school was. She asked more questions when I got to Jerry.

I didn’t want to talk about the bodies, but she asked round about questions and they always turned back up. After lunch and cafeteria duty, I was shown back to the visitation room. She was still here, her notebook and voice recorder set aside.

“Y/N? Do you want to figure out why you did these things?”

“Ma’am?” I was confused. “Aren’t you here to research people like me?”

“Yes, but if I can give you some insight into why you are the way you are. Wouldn’t that be beneficial?”

I stared at the darker skin under her eyes, “You trying to get me to share some untold secret to help your project? Get all the recognition? You aint the first Doctor-Fed I’ve met.”

“So it says in your file, Dr. Spencer Reid interviewed you extensively before locating the remaining bodies and Gerald Swanson that day, almost two years ago.”

“Yeah? Bet it says a lot of things that seem more important than they really are.”

“Y/N, did you know that I work with the BAU? I work with Dr. Reid on a regular basis.”

This lady was messing with me, but I decided it didn’t hurt to test the waters. “Oh yeah? How’s little old Reid these days?”

Her eyes unfocused, “What I mean to say, Y/N. Is that if you cooperate, I’ll see if Dr. Reid will accompany me on my next visit.”

“You know what Dr. Lewis? I suddenly remember there WAS a fifth girl.”

“I thought so. What can you tell me about her?”

Feds, eating up anything you shoved in front of them. Maybe Dr. Reid wasn’t rid of me yet.

@dontshootmespence @starbucksreid @jodiewhitters @cherry-loves-fanfic @ficrecswithcassie @criminal-navy-writings @ultrarebelheart @sapphicpage

#Criminal Minds #Spencer Reid #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #Unsub Reader #Spencer Reid x Gender neutral Reader #Gender Neutral Reader #CM Fanfiction #CM fanfic #Criminal Minds Reader Insert #Spencer Reid x You #Case Fic #Craters #stu #Murder #Mayhem #Criminal Minds Fanfictions #Creepy Unsub

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glubbity-moved · 7 years

Note

broadway karkat

Four, three, two, fuck you.

Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic--Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonix!

Karkalicious definition makes terezi locoShe wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo.Dyin' just to know the flavorI ain't doin' her no favorsNo reasons why I teaseHer flush just comes and goes like seasons.

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)No, I don't do kismesis.And if you read any fanficsAll that shit is fictitious.I blow kisses (mwah!)Don't matter if we're just moiraillsTrolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail(Four, three, two, fuck you.)

So delicious (super sweet)So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)

Karkalicious def-,Karkalicious def-,Karkalicious def- (goddammit, doc scratch, stop fucking around with my mic-)Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy.Nepeta's always squealin'Cutesy pet names like karkittyI'm the k to the a, r, k, the a, the t,And the majority of pairings had better include me

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)My body stays viciousAll the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cuz I'm doing some fitnessZahhak's my witness (*whistle*)Bet that ship curls nepeta's tailAnd he'll be needing all the towels 'cuz I'mma make him sweat pails(Four, three, two, fuck you.)

So delicious (super sweet)So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby,If you really want me,Honey get some patience.Maybe then you'll get a taste.I'll be tasty, tasty,I'll be laced with lacy,It's so tasty, tasty,It'll make you crazy.

T to the a, to the s t y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s t y - fuckin' tastyD to the e, to the l I c I o u s, to the d, to the e, to the, to the, to the--

I'll just spell it out for you!

All the time I turn around trolls gather round always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the

Color of my blood.I just wanna say it now - I ain't trying to round up any drama, little fucker I just don't want

You to know.And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the

Secret's fucking awesome.But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell.Terezi says I smell...

Delicious (so delicious)No, I don't do kismesis.And if you read any fanficsAll that shit is fictitious.I blow kisses (mwah!)Don't matter if we're just moiraillsTrolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

Four, three, two, fuck you.My body stays viciousZahhak's been feeling nervous 'cuz I got down to businessNepeta's my witness (meow~!)I'll even let her first ship sailJust watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail

So delicious (eridan, see)So delicious (you can trust me)So delicious (I'll help you be)I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candyIt's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)

T to the a, to the s t y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the s t y - fuckin'tastyT to the a, to the s t y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the, to the, to the, to the, to the,D to the e, to the l I c I o u s, to the d, to the, e to the, l I c I o u s, to theD to the e, to the l I c I o u s, to the d, to the e, to the--

Now, wait just a motherfucking second!

Do I seriously have to spell this shit until the end of the fucking song?

I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original never had access to spellcheck I guess

Because t-a-s-t-e-y does not spell tasty. Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or

Something?

What do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to write their own

Grammatical trainwrecks and call it music!? What the fuck even is will smith doing?

He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore!?

Fuck this shit, I quit.

#glub glubs #Anonymous

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